upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Democracy

It's time to flush these 10 meaningless and harmful buzzwords from our politics

It's time to flush these 10 meaningless and harmful buzzwords from our politics

Politics has always been a mixed bag of genuine discussions about governance, inane partisan bickering, and ongoing struggles for power. As much as I wish we could engage in the first more often, it feels like politics in America has become far more of the latter.

Within those partisan power struggles, the language of politics gets skewed and molded to fit specific purposes. Sometimes, phrases are used as dog whistles calling on people's prejudices. Far too often, the manipulation of words and their meanings—political rhetoric—renders certain terms meaningless as they get tossed around without nuance or context. Ultimately, the repeated use of certain terminology ends up destroying discourse instead of adding to it.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but here are 10 terms I'd love to see us flush from American political discussions:

1. "Real Americans"

There's no excuse for anyone ever using this term. To call certain people "real Americans" implies some kind of defining characteristic that some Americans have and some don't, which is the complete opposite of the country's diverse reality. And who would get to determine that definition, anyway? Do we go by majority? A full 82% of Americans live in urban areas. Does that mean city people are "real Americans" and the rural minority are not? Obviously, that's ludicrous—just as ludicrous as the idea that Americans in diners talking about the Bible are "real Americans." There's simply no such thing.


2. "Identity politics"

It's not that politics based on identity doesn't exist—it's that it has always existed. The entirety of American history is filled with white, land-owning men creating politics around their own identity and excluding people of different identities from the political process in both overt and covert ways. We are where we are because inequality and injustice necessitate pushing for policies based on identity, but let's not pretend that the concept is new. It's just that the identities that are finally getting a voice are those that were kept out by the white, male identity politics that dominated the nation for centuries.

3. "Elites"

This word may have had some meaning at some point, but now it gets tossed around to mean anyone who lives in a city, lives on a coast, has above a certain amount of money, or has a college education. I've also seen it used as a pejorative to describe experts in a field, which is just silly. While yes, there are uber-wealthy people with undue power in politics who can be rightfully scorned as "elites" for snubbing their noses at the concerns of the rest of us, that's a very small group of people. Dismissing the entirety of academia or the entirety of the American coasts or the entirety of people with post-secondary educations as "elitist" is a misuse of the word and needs to stop.

4. "Working class"

On the flip side, the term "working-class Americans" has far too narrow a meaning the way it's usually used. When someone says "working-class Americans" it's usually meant to conjure up images of generally white farm, factory, or mining workers toiling away somewhere in Middle America. Rarely is the term "working class" used to refer to Black or Latino or immigrant workers in big cities, even though they make up a huge percentage of what's technically considered working-class labor. Rarely is the economic anxieties of those urban workers utilized in the same way politically. (The term also makes it sound like only certain kinds of jobs count as "work," which is just weird.)

5. "Blue states/Red states"

The way our electoral system is set up makes the illusion of blue and red states a thing, but it's really not a thing. All states are mish-mosh of people, and all states are closer to 50/50 than 100/0 when it comes to red/blue, Democrat/Republican, liberal/conservative votes. I wish we could do away with those binary political labels altogether, but at the very least we need to stop assigning them to entire states. (And let's ditch the Electoral College that perpetuates the illusion altogether.)

There are lots of different versions of maps that more accurately portray the way the U.S. votes, but the truth is that every place is some shade of purple. And our differences are based much more along an urban/rural divide than a state line one.

6. "Career politician"

Yes, some people make a career out of being in government. Yes, there are some people who stay in politics for the wrong reasons or who have been in their positions for longer than they should. But let's stop saying "career politician" like it's automatically bad. Experience and expertise in any field is generally a good thing, and that's as true for public service as it is for anything else. Newcomers add fresh perspectives and voices to government, but there is also value in putting people who know what they're doing in powerful positions of leadership. We could address the negatives of long-term service by introducing term limits where there aren't any, but let's stop demonizing people who dedicate their lives and careers to public service.

7. "Socialism"

This word has a meaning, and it's not what the vast majority of Americans mean when they use it these days, on either side of the aisle. Socialism is a "social and economic doctrine that calls for public rather than private ownership or control of property and natural resources." Practically no one is advocating for actual socialism in the U.S. Some people think anything having to do with equality or equity is synonymous with socialism, but that's not anywhere close to true. Some people think universal healthcare is a slippery slope to a socialist state, even though they'd never think of public education in the same way. Some people just hear "radical socialist agenda" and start foaming at the mouth, even if what's being described as radical socialism would be considered center-right ideology in most democratic nations we consider our peers. And on the same note...

8. "Radical"

What is often called "radical" isn't really radical these days. The only reason that some things seem radical—as defined by advocating a sweeping change—is because of how long certain things have been allowed to remain status quo. The idea that anyone who works a full-time job should be able to afford to live is not a radical idea. It's just common sense. The idea that no one should go bankrupt or die because they have a medical issue isn't radical—it's the way people in almost every other country live. The idea that people should be able to live free from discrimination for being who they are is not a radical idea—it's simply freedom. The word "radical" is used to make any idea sound out-there, no matter how reasonable it might be in reality.

9. "Fascist"

Not everyone who enacts legislation we don't like is a fascist. Not everyone who pushes nationalism is a fascist. Not even everyone who uses prejudice and fear to drum up populist support is a fascist. Like socialism, this word has been thrown around so often as to have virtually no real meaning anymore. Fascism was a specific form of rule during a specific time and place in history, and though we can point to some similarities of thought or action between politicians now and then, they're not the same. It's not likely that an autocrat dictator would find success with actual fascist practices here, and labeling everything that smacks of authoritarianism or demagoguery as fascism muddies the waters. Authoritarianism and demagoguery are problematic enough on their own, and jumping straight to "Fascism!" enables people to dismiss legitimate concerns over them.

10. "Patriot"

A patriot is someone who loves their country and is willing to defend it. A patriot is not someone who terrorizes their own seat of government because they reject reality and don't like the way the voting went. A patriot doesn't defend an attack on our Capitol or the attempted overturning of an election. A patriot doesn't fly the flag of a defeated country that fought with the United States over the right to enslave Black people and nearly split the nation in two. A patriot doesn't try to keep Americans they disagree with or don't like from voting. A patriot doesn't accuse half of their fellow Americans of being demonic pedophiles. If the people who do any or all of those things are the ones calling themselves patriots, then the word is useless.

Words and their actual meanings matter. Let's discuss ideas. Let's debate policy. But let's do so without slinging around buzz words and phrases that oversimplify positions, play on people's prejudices, and remove the nuance necessary for reasonable discourse.

ups, ups driver, delivery driver, ups deliveries, cookout, family, food, hospitality, kindness
Relaxed008/YouTube
UPS driver invited to family's cookout.

UPS drivers are always on the grind delivering packages around the clock—even on holidays. And one family took notice of the hard-working UPS driver in their neighborhood who had his nose to the grindstone as they enjoyed a cookout together. Rather than simply let him pass by, they decided to flag him down and extend an invite to join them in a move that proved community and hospitality are still alive and well.

TikToker @1fanto shared a touching video with his followers from Easter weekend where his family invited a UPS driver making rounds in their neighborhood to come to their cookout and 'make a plate.'


"Everybody family around here 😭," he captioned the video. "Everybody invited to the cookout.😂"

@1fanto

Everybody family around here 😭 #easter #cookout #wherethefunction

In the video, the UPS driver is seen standing in the family's driveway, and a group of cookout attendees warmly welcome him to join them. The uncle of @1fanto says to the driver, "You've been working hard all day man, you can go on in there!" He calls out for a woman named Stephanie to "take care of him!"

The UPS driver walks up the driveway, and they encourage him to go inside and get his fill as he enters the garage. After securing a plate of food and a drink, the driver walks back outside to mingle with guests, shaking hands with the uncle who invited him.

"You good?" the uncle asks, and the driver responds, "Yeah I'm good. They hooked me up. Thank you so much. Appreciate y'all for inviting me out." On his way back to his truck, the uncle encourages the driver to invite other workers to stop by as well.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

In a follow up video, @1fanto explained more about how the invite went down. He shares that the UPS driver was driving by the family's house on the Saturday before Easter, and at the time the family was enjoying a big fish fry cookout together. His uncle flagged the driver down, and he pulled over.

He shares that his uncle told the driver, "Go inside and get you a plate!" The driver asked him, "Are you sure?" But he reassured him, adding that the family made sure to ask the driver what he wanted and didn't want on his plate to "make sure he was good and got everything he needed".

"I saw it had a positive impact. That's what my family do. That's not something that we just do for social media," @1fanto shared. "That's something that we do on a regular basis that doesn't just happen when the camera's on. It happens when the camera's off, too. We're all equal. We all bleed the same."

ups, ups truck, united parcel service, ups delivery, ups deliveries, ups driver A UPS truck with package deliveries.Image via Wikipedia

Viewers had lots of positive things to say in the comment section.

"I am a UPS driver and that makes our day. People showing love to us"

"Your family represents the best of America🫶🏼 Your uncle is now all of our uncle."

"Working the holidays suck. But they made that man’s entire day. Love it."

"I love when people are nice for no reason. You’re so real ♥️thank you for being so kind."

"Being a delivery driver is grueling, often thankless work. It's awesome to see a family that remembers those hardworking folks are essential parts of our communities."

This article appeared last year. It has been updated.

cher, david letterman, late night, late night show, tv, celebrities, sexism, women, hollywood
Renan Katayama/Wikimedia Commons & Gotfryd, Bernard/Wikimedia Commons

David Letterman and Cher.

Cher had accomplished a laundry list of amazing feats by the time the 1980s rolled around. She'd hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100, had international number-one hits, starred on television and on Broadway, and established herself as an acclaimed actress. In 1988, she even won an Oscar for Best Actress for her role in Moonstruck.

But as of 1986, there was still one major thing she hadn't done: appear on Late Night with David Letterman.


It wasn't for lack of trying on Letterman's part. He'd been trying to get Cher on his show for years and, with the help of a hefty appearance fee, sealed the deal in 1986. The audience was excited. Letterman was excited. But when Cher finally walked out onstage, things didn't get off to the smoothest start.


cher, david letterman, late night, late night show, tv, celebrities, sexism, women, hollywood Cher was the biggest phenomenon on the planet for the better part of the '70s and '80s.Casblanca Records/Wikimedia Commons

After Letterman complimented how she smelled, Cher crossed her arms and deadpanned, "Is this as good as it gets?"

Letterman and the audience laughed it off, but the vibe was clearly tense from the get-go.

"I know you didn't want to come on here, so why, finally... did you decide to come on?" he asked

Cher laughed and joked that she only came on so she could pay an expensive hotel bill. "No, I don't know, because I thought that I would never want to do this show with you," she added.

"Why?" Letterman asked. "Because you thought I was a..."

"An a**hole," Cher bluntly said.

After Letterman riffed briefly on the audience reaction, Cher elaborated: "It was frightening because I see how you deal with your guests and sometimes it's really great and you seem to like them, but if you don't like them, you might as well take a picnic lunch."

From there, Letterman pivoted: "You look great... How many tattoos do you have?"

The interaction has since become an iconic moment, rewatched again and again over the past several decades. The official YouTube clip of the interview currently has more than three million views.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Though beloved by his male fans, Letterman hasn't always had the greatest reputation for his treatment of guests, women in particular. This was a pattern that played out for years. Letterman was known to tease, and at times outright bully, certain guests more than others.

In a 1988 interview, he mocked Shirley MacLaine for her belief in past lives. During a 1986 sit-down with Farrah Fawcett, who appeared nervous and a bit loopy, Letterman had little trouble getting laughs at her expense. Even years later, interviews with Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Jennifer Aniston were widely criticized as mean-spirited or gross. And in 1994, an interview with Madonna turned openly contentious, with both sides trading barbs.

But it wasn't just Letterman. The cruelty of late-night television reached something of a peak in the early 2000s, when hosts routinely mocked female stars like Britney Spears, who was struggling through a highly public mental health crisis. One notable exception was host Craig Ferguson, whose 2007 monologue stood out for its striking empathy in sharp contrast to many of his peers:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Even today, women who appear on late-night shows often find themselves either the butt of the joke or an object of desire.

Research published in The Critical Review of Social Sciences Studies asserts, "Female guests often appear as spectacles for male hosts' humor rather than as authoritative contributors to public discourse. ... The quick-witted, often satirical male hosts discuss political and public affairs in ways that pose hegemonic challenges for female participants, limiting their discursive power."

It’s no wonder that Cher didn't exactly see the Letterman set as a safe space to let her guard down. And in typical Cher fashion, she made her feelings about Letterman clear right from the start. The exchange is an unforgettable moment that works as both a public call-out and an icebreaker. That night in 1986, Cher and Letterman ultimately went on to have a nice (if playfully combative) interview.

For his part, Letterman has since expressed regret about many aspects of his time hosting Late Night, including what he has described as a "toxic work environment" marked by "sexual favoritism" and scandals. It's hard not to wonder whether Cher picked up on those bad vibes at the time and chose to call them out in the only way she knew how, which is exactly why people still love her.

likable, likable person, likable people, conversation, conversation tips

Likable people say these things during conversations to build better relationships.

Making friends and developing deeper, stronger relationships starts with good conversation. Sometimes that means small talk at work, while other times it's the kind of conversation that really takes off at a party.

Some people are naturals when it comes to easy, flowing conversation—especially highly likable people, who tend to attract others and often hold the key to mastering genuine conversation. From their gestures to the way they articulate questions, there's a lot others can learn from them.


Communication experts who spoke to Upworthy say there are 10 things highly likable people do during conversations to build stronger relationships.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

1. They listen without distraction

Listeners often make the best conversationalists.

"That means not looking at your phone or scanning around the room to see who you want to talk to next," says Kerri Garbis, CEO and founder of Ovation Communication. "Focus on the person in front of you only. Make eye contact. This fosters a relationship because when you are fully present, it signals respect, interest, and helps others feel valued versus like they are competing for your attention."

2. They collect data

Being inquisitive about what people need during conversations is key to building stronger relationships.

"If you take a moment to ask your colleague or even friend, 'What are you worried about? What's the biggest concern facing you right now?' you can get great data on how you can help them - in a way that taps into something urgent and top of mind for them," says Kate Mason, PhD, an executive communications coach and author of Powerfully Likeable: A Woman's Guide to Effective Communication. "They'll remember your thoughtfulness and the actions you took."

3. They balance the conversation

Highly likable people never make it all about themselves.

"Sometimes conversations can be 'lopsided' where it's more about the other person than about you," says Rob Volpe, a communication expert and author of Tell Me More About That: Solving the Empathy Crisis One Conversation at a Time. "While that can be okay, you aren't there to be their therapist. Sometimes the context and topic may make it off balance, but if it continues and you aren't feeling seen yourself, feel free to say something like 'I'd love to share my thoughts on this' or 'May I share something I'm dealing with at the moment?'"

4. They mirror their conversation partner

Taking cues from body language can foster deeper relationships.

"It's a subtle way to make someone comfortable because they recognize themself in your actions," says Jennifer Anderson, a communication expert who works with entrepreneurs. "Your energy should match the energy of your counterpart. Think relaxing-in-lounge-chair energy vs. about-to-deliver-a-presentation energy. Those are two very different conversations. If you paired them up, there's definitely about to be some awkwardness."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

5. They skip pre-planned questions

While coming to conversations prepared with questions may help you feel less anxious, highly likable people usually don't use them.

"Often people have questions in their back pocket, like about the weather or sports, but the most likeable people in the room are those who can be present in conversations and ask follow-ups based on what someone is talking about," Garbis says. "This builds a relationship by making conversations feel relational and not transactional."

6. They are self-aware

Highly likable people are masters of self-awareness, especially during conversations.

"Self-awareness of your judgment is key to building relationships," Volpe says. "We all carry biases which can block our view of the person standing in front of us. When you catch yourself being judgmental, have some grace with yourself and get curious about the other person as well as where your judgment is coming from. This clears one of the biggest obstacles to having empathy with others."

7. They respond with affirmation

Highly likable people make others feel seen and heard.

"No matter what is coming out of the person's mouth, make it clear that you're not judging or competing with them," Garbis notes. "If they say: 'I went skiing this weekend,' don't jump in and say that you also went skiing. Say something like, 'Wow, that sounds exciting, tell me more about that.' You can respond with validating statements like: 'That makes sense, or I can see why you're so good at that, or I can see why that matters to you.' This reduces defensiveness and nervousness, and it makes people feel safe to be themselves and creates relationships faster."

@justaskjefferson

it’s been great catching up! #communicationtips #communicationskills

8. They remain calm

Bringing a sense of calm rather than chaos to a conversation can put everyone at ease.

"Calm is the most powerful communication flex you can do," Mason says. "If you can stay calm, especially in a heated conversation, you actually end up looking trustworthy, reliable and unruffled - all very powerful things to be remembered for."

9. They remember names

Highly likable people personalize conversations by using the other person's name.

"Never ever tell people you are terrible at remembering names," Garbis explains. "This will tank the conversation because it signals you don't matter, nothing you say matters, and that you aren't worth remembering. It makes a person mentally check out of the conversation. Use good tricks like repeating a person's name at the beginning and again at the end. If you forgot by the end, say something like, 'It was so fun to hear about your skiing adventure. By the way, I'm Kerri, it was so nice to meet you, and can you remind me of your name? I don't want to forget it?' They'll be so grateful you repeated your name too!"

10. They use humor where they can

Finally, highly likable people make sure to infuse conversations with laughter.

"It's a great connector," Anderson notes. "Don't try to be a standup comic, just find the lighthearted observations and details that you can share in conversations. Humor is never a weapon; judgy and mean-spirited comments convey weakness, not confidence. You'll risk alienating your conversation partner if you come in with a full roast of your friends or coworkers. If all else fails, everyone loves a Dad Joke."

Culture

Why intergenerational 'culture buddies' could be the antidote to loneliness everywhere

Inside the program reconnecting Hamburg's students and seniors.

seniors, loneliness, germany, elders, students

Kulturisten Hoch Zwei provides the link between seniors and high school students.

Picture yourself at eighty-five. You live alone in a fourth-floor apartment in a busy city. You loved the theater in your youth, savoring the thrill as the lights dimmed and the crowd fell to a hush. Now, money is tight, sitting for hours is hard on your body, and perhaps most heartbreaking of all, you have no one to go with.

For millions of older adults around the world, this scenario is more than hypothetical; it's everyday life. Loneliness has become an increasingly widespread issue, affecting physical health as much as smoking or obesity. But in Hamburg, Germany, a remarkable social initiative is offering a different kind of remedy for loneliness among the elderly.


seniors, loneliness, germany, elders, students A high school volunteer with her senior "tandem." Photo credit: Kulturisten Hoch Zwei

This approach, often referred to as "social medicine," drives KULTURISTENHOCH2 (Culture to the Power of Two), a non-profit redefining aging, youth, and the transformative power of human connection.

Unpacking KULTURISTENHOCH2

At its heart, KULTURISTENHOCH2 (also known as KH2) is a "culture buddies" program with a simple, beautiful mission. The project pairs high school students with older neighbors living on low incomes to forge meaningful intergenerational connections.

The project was founded in 2016 by Christine Worth, a former marketing executive inspired by her family history. She remembers watching her father's world grow smaller due to dementia, aging, and isolation, and realized that getting older is an unaddressed social problem. Worth found that for many seniors, not having someone to share the day with was the biggest barrier to leaving the house.

seniors, loneliness, germany, elders, students KH2 makes leaving the house more accessible to senior citizens. Photo credit: Kulturisten Hoch Zwei

Through KH2, seniors are given a "VIP pass" to an unbelievable, culturally rich city. Paired with a local teenager, these elders enjoy free tickets to concerts, plays, and art exhibits, proving that a shared cultural experience can bridge even the largest age gaps.

How the program works

KH2 is designed to remove every barrier that might keep an older person at home, creating a safe, comfortable, and dignified experience from start to finish.

The pairing process

The initiative starts in local schools, where students sixteen and older volunteer to join KH2. These "young buddies" are paired with seniors ages 63 and older—many of whom are living on low incomes or with physical disabilities—within their district, allowing them to attend a wide range of cultural events free of charge.

Seniors are identified and registered as participants if they meet age and income requirements and express an interest in cultural participation.

seniors, loneliness, germany, elders, students Many "culture buddies" stay in contact after the program ends. Photo credit: Kulturisten Hoch Zwei

After matching, the student will contact the senior, coordinate logistics, and accompany them to selected events. Over time, many connections evolve into lasting relationships, with approximately 20% of "generational tandems" reportedly maintaining regular contact beyond the official program.

Door-to-door companionship

Tickets are provided free of charge by KultureLebe Hamburg e.V., a partner program that champions the belief that "culture is not a luxury, culture is food" and arranges free cultural experiences for people on low incomes.

The student arranges a meeting time and place, often picking the senior up from their home and, if requested, accompanying them door-to-door. Travel typically takes place via public transportation, with the student offering practical assistance along the way, such as navigating stairs, reading signage, and more.

Students commit to at least three cultural outings per school year, though many choose to volunteer more often.

Walking in their shoes

One of the most impactful aspects of KH2 is how it prepares the students. Before meeting their senior partners, teens receive specialized training designed to ensure the needs of older adults are met.

Beyond discussing aging and how to navigate communication with seniors, students wear a 77-pound "aging simulation suit," which restricts movement and vision. They are given "ear defenders" to simulate hearing loss and practice using wheelchairs and walkers to experience the physical challenges of older age and its practical challenges.

Cultural experiences for all

Events include a broad range of programs, including the theater, opera, orchestral events, cinema, gallery openings, and festivals. Here, culture serves as a natural "conversation starter" between generations, as shared performances and exhibitions open the door to exchanging perspectives and life stories.

While student participants receive certificates for their volunteer work, the real reward lies in personal growth. Through engaging with seniors from a different generation, they gain a deeper understanding of history, empathy, and human connection.

Sustaining and expanding KH2

The program started with three pilot schools and 37 seniors, and expanded quickly. By the end of 2019, around 165 students and 175 seniors were active in KH2, with more than 850 pairings activated across Hamburg.

seniors, loneliness, germany, elders, students KH2 provides students with excellent life skills and lasting connections. Photo credit: Kulturisten Hoch Zwei

Keeping KH2 running requires significant support. Around 25% of its funding comes from government agencies, with the remainder provided by private foundations, corporate sponsors, and grassroots fundraising efforts.

The science behind the magic of connection

Public health experts are increasingly recognizing that health extends beyond diet and exercise. A groundbreaking 2023 report from the World Health Organization (WHO) linked participation in arts and culture to tangible health benefits, including reduced depression, improved cognitive function, and even increased life expectancy.

"For too long we have seen Science and the Arts as separate endeavors," said Sir Jeremy Farrar, chief scientist at the WHO. "But these silos were not always so. Through much of human history, the creative interface of different disciplines has been a catalyst for both innovation and healing."

In this sense, KH2 functions as more than a community program; it serves as a preventative health strategy.

Creating lasting partnerships

In a society increasingly shadowed by loneliness and isolation, KH2 is grounded in the belief that real change happens through encounter and exchange. Through its life-changing cultural tandems, older adults regain mobility, confidence, and a renewed sense of belonging as active members of society.

By connecting two groups who might otherwise never meet—teenagers just beginning their lives and seniors reflecting on theirs—KH2 creates moments in which age quietly falls away, leaving two souls moved by art.

baseball, high school baseball, travel ball, youth sports, american youth sports,

High schoolers playing baseball.

In December 2025, Katherine Van Dyck, a senior legal fellow at the American Economic Liberties Project, testified before the U.S. House Committee on Education and the Workforce's Subcommittee on Early Childhood, Elementary, and Secondary Education about the growing takeover of youth sports by private equity firms. This new profit-driven system is replacing once-affordable community sports organizations with pricey programs that exclude many families.

At the center of this new youth sports paradigm is the bargain these leagues offer parents: If you pay thousands upon thousands of dollars, your child will have the opportunity to earn a college scholarship and possibly make it to the pros. During her testimony, Van Dyck noted that many parents have bought into the promise.


Parents overestimate the chances their children will receive athletic scholarships

Van Dyck shared a poll showing that 49% of parents whose children participate in youth sports (ages 7-18) are "confident" their child will receive an athletic scholarship. Unfortunately, only about 7% of high school athletes go on to play college sports, and just 2% receive an athletic scholarship.

"Families are going into debt, and it's based on a lie," she said in her testimony. "Forty-nine percent of parents believe their children will get an athletic scholarship. In fact, only two percent of college applicants actually do."

@bobbyleebaseball

What was once recreational neighborhood fun has become mandatory travel sports. Families are being convinced that it is the only way for children to be competitive in the sport, and that if they aren’t giving in to the pressure then they are failing their children. It is not true. Families are spending thousands a year, and hurting their children’s health and development along the way, because they don’t realize they are being manipulated into spending. It’s a marketing scheme meant to keep registration numbers and tournament participation high, to extract as much as they can from families. And parents have been convinced that if they aren’t doing it, then their children’s are missing out. Everyone is sounding the alarm, and it has now made its way to the U.S. House Committee on Education and the Workforce Subcommittee on Early Childhood Education. #congress #baseball #youthsports #youthbaseball #children

If 49% seems like an anomaly, a 2024 study found similarly inflated expectations: 34% of parents with children ages 6 to 17 believe their kids will play college sports, and 27% think they are likely to receive a college scholarship.

Youth leagues often dangle the scholarship carrot in front of parents who face either heavy debt or foregoing college altogether. They also appear to brandish the stick, suggesting that parents who don't pay up aren't doing everything possible to help their kids succeed.

basketball, youth basketball, basketball parents, parents and children, basketball court Parents posing with their young kids on a basketball court. via Canva/Photos

"The industry has learned that the easiest way to get parents to ignore their instincts is to convince them that their instincts are selfish," said Dr. Jennifer Fraser, who studies youth sports psychology, according to Beyond the Drill. "Parents will endure almost anything if they believe it's what their child needs to succeed."

Melissa Panzer, a TikToker who focuses on the challenges of being a working mom, recently went viral with a video responding to Van Dyck's testimony and unpacking why so many parents are hedging their bets on a college scholarship. She also outlined a new way forward for parents who don't buy the story the youth leagues are selling.

@seriouslymakeitmakesense

This clip isn’t about sports. It’s about how families are being squeezed. For context: • There are roughly 8 million high school athletes in the U.S. each year • About 160,000 will receive any athletic scholarship money • Most scholarships are partial, not full rides • Meanwhile, youth sports has grown into a $30+ billion industry — almost entirely funded by families That mismatch isn’t an accident. It’s the business model. In the meantime, while the system remains broken, here are a few things that can help soften the blow: • Ask what your child actually enjoys — not what feels strategic • Set a clear family budget before the season starts • Remember that most college pathways do not run through elite youth sports • Know that opting out is not “falling behind” Parents aren’t the problem. They’re the product. 📌 Testimony from a hearing before the House Committee on Education and the Workforce Credit to Katie Van Dyck Thanks to @seasters jones. for sharing the cllip

Why parents are betting on their kids getting athletic scholarships

According to Panzer:

"So, parents start looking for any way to reduce that [college] bill later. And sports have become one of the few paths that still look merit-based. Most parents don't actually believe that their kid is the exception, but when college feels impossible to pay for, hope still creeps in. Because the alternative is debt, and that follows your kid around for decades, and that sucks. And that's why families keep paying, not because they're foolish, but because the system is designed to monetize fear and aspiration at the same time. And that's what's infuriating."

Panzer argued that if parents truly want their children to earn scholarships, they should focus on academics. "Way more students receive academic scholarships than athletic scholarships," Panzer said. "Athletic scholarships get all the hype, but they are one of the rarest forms of aid."

She closed her video by laying out several things parents should consider before spending thousands of dollars on elite youth sports teams and travel clubs:

"Ask what your child really enjoys—not what feels strategic."

"Set a clear family budget before the season starts."

"Remember that most college pathways do not lead through elite youth sports."

"Know that opting out is not 'falling behind.'"

"Parents aren't the problem, they're the product."