It’s time to flush these 10 meaningless and harmful buzzwords from our politics

Politics has always been a mixed bag of genuine discussions about governance, inane partisan bickering, and ongoing struggles for power. As much as I wish we could engage in the first more often, it feels like politics in America has become far more of the latter. Within those partisan power struggles, the language of politics…

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ArrayPhoto credit: Photo by Brian Wertheim on Unsplash

Politics has always been a mixed bag of genuine discussions about governance, inane partisan bickering, and ongoing struggles for power. As much as I wish we could engage in the first more often, it feels like politics in America has become far more of the latter.

Within those partisan power struggles, the language of politics gets skewed and molded to fit specific purposes. Sometimes, phrases are used as dog whistles calling on people’s prejudices. Far too often, the manipulation of words and their meanings—political rhetoric—renders certain terms meaningless as they get tossed around without nuance or context. Ultimately, the repeated use of certain terminology ends up destroying discourse instead of adding to it.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but here are 10 terms I’d love to see us flush from American political discussions:

1. “Real Americans”

There’s no excuse for anyone ever using this term. To call certain people “real Americans” implies some kind of defining characteristic that some Americans have and some don’t, which is the complete opposite of the country’s diverse reality. And who would get to determine that definition, anyway? Do we go by majority? A full 82% of Americans live in urban areas. Does that mean city people are “real Americans” and the rural minority are not? Obviously, that’s ludicrous—just as ludicrous as the idea that Americans in diners talking about the Bible are “real Americans.” There’s simply no such thing.


2. “Identity politics”

It’s not that politics based on identity doesn’t exist—it’s that it has always existed. The entirety of American history is filled with white, land-owning men creating politics around their own identity and excluding people of different identities from the political process in both overt and covert ways. We are where we are because inequality and injustice necessitate pushing for policies based on identity, but let’s not pretend that the concept is new. It’s just that the identities that are finally getting a voice are those that were kept out by the white, male identity politics that dominated the nation for centuries.

3. “Elites”

This word may have had some meaning at some point, but now it gets tossed around to mean anyone who lives in a city, lives on a coast, has above a certain amount of money, or has a college education. I’ve also seen it used as a pejorative to describe experts in a field, which is just silly. While yes, there are uber-wealthy people with undue power in politics who can be rightfully scorned as “elites” for snubbing their noses at the concerns of the rest of us, that’s a very small group of people. Dismissing the entirety of academia or the entirety of the American coasts or the entirety of people with post-secondary educations as “elitist” is a misuse of the word and needs to stop.

4. “Working class”

On the flip side, the term “working-class Americans” has far too narrow a meaning the way it’s usually used. When someone says “working-class Americans” it’s usually meant to conjure up images of generally white farm, factory, or mining workers toiling away somewhere in Middle America. Rarely is the term “working class” used to refer to Black or Latino or immigrant workers in big cities, even though they make up a huge percentage of what’s technically considered working-class labor. Rarely is the economic anxieties of those urban workers utilized in the same way politically. (The term also makes it sound like only certain kinds of jobs count as “work,” which is just weird.)

5. “Blue states/Red states”

The way our electoral system is set up makes the illusion of blue and red states a thing, but it’s really not a thing. All states are mish-mosh of people, and all states are closer to 50/50 than 100/0 when it comes to red/blue, Democrat/Republican, liberal/conservative votes. I wish we could do away with those binary political labels altogether, but at the very least we need to stop assigning them to entire states. (And let’s ditch the Electoral College that perpetuates the illusion altogether.)

https://www.twitter.com/kazumiochin/status/1324184376276475906

There are lots of different versions of maps that more accurately portray the way the U.S. votes, but the truth is that every place is some shade of purple. And our differences are based much more along an urban/rural divide than a state line one.

https://www.twitter.com/madsesmith/status/798654953468280833

6. “Career politician”

Yes, some people make a career out of being in government. Yes, there are some people who stay in politics for the wrong reasons or who have been in their positions for longer than they should. But let’s stop saying “career politician” like it’s automatically bad. Experience and expertise in any field is generally a good thing, and that’s as true for public service as it is for anything else. Newcomers add fresh perspectives and voices to government, but there is also value in putting people who know what they’re doing in powerful positions of leadership. We could address the negatives of long-term service by introducing term limits where there aren’t any, but let’s stop demonizing people who dedicate their lives and careers to public service.

7. “Socialism”

This word has a meaning, and it’s not what the vast majority of Americans mean when they use it these days, on either side of the aisle. Socialism is a “social and economic doctrine that calls for public rather than private ownership or control of property and natural resources.” Practically no one is advocating for actual socialism in the U.S. Some people think anything having to do with equality or equity is synonymous with socialism, but that’s not anywhere close to true. Some people think universal healthcare is a slippery slope to a socialist state, even though they’d never think of public education in the same way. Some people just hear “radical socialist agenda” and start foaming at the mouth, even if what’s being described as radical socialism would be considered center-right ideology in most democratic nations we consider our peers. And on the same note…

8. “Radical”

What is often called “radical” isn’t really radical these days. The only reason that some things seem radical—as defined by advocating a sweeping change—is because of how long certain things have been allowed to remain status quo. The idea that anyone who works a full-time job should be able to afford to live is not a radical idea. It’s just common sense. The idea that no one should go bankrupt or die because they have a medical issue isn’t radical—it’s the way people in almost every other country live. The idea that people should be able to live free from discrimination for being who they are is not a radical idea—it’s simply freedom. The word “radical” is used to make any idea sound out-there, no matter how reasonable it might be in reality.

9. “Fascist”

Not everyone who enacts legislation we don’t like is a fascist. Not everyone who pushes nationalism is a fascist. Not even everyone who uses prejudice and fear to drum up populist support is a fascist. Like socialism, this word has been thrown around so often as to have virtually no real meaning anymore. Fascism was a specific form of rule during a specific time and place in history, and though we can point to some similarities of thought or action between politicians now and then, they’re not the same. It’s not likely that an autocrat dictator would find success with actual fascist practices here, and labeling everything that smacks of authoritarianism or demagoguery as fascism muddies the waters. Authoritarianism and demagoguery are problematic enough on their own, and jumping straight to “Fascism!” enables people to dismiss legitimate concerns over them.

10. “Patriot”

A patriot is someone who loves their country and is willing to defend it. A patriot is not someone who terrorizes their own seat of government because they reject reality and don’t like the way the voting went. A patriot doesn’t defend an attack on our Capitol or the attempted overturning of an election. A patriot doesn’t fly the flag of a defeated country that fought with the United States over the right to enslave Black people and nearly split the nation in two. A patriot doesn’t try to keep Americans they disagree with or don’t like from voting. A patriot doesn’t accuse half of their fellow Americans of being demonic pedophiles. If the people who do any or all of those things are the ones calling themselves patriots, then the word is useless.

Words and their actual meanings matter. Let’s discuss ideas. Let’s debate policy. But let’s do so without slinging around buzz words and phrases that oversimplify positions, play on people’s prejudices, and remove the nuance necessary for reasonable discourse.

  • An Eastern European asked Americans why they’re so ‘nice and cordial.’ The replies were totally wholesome.
    Americans are considered friendly and cordial by Europeans.Photo credit: Canva

    Europeans have always had hot takes on Americans and American culture. From portion sizes to garbage disposals to widely available air conditioning, there are plenty of things America has to offer that Europe just doesn’t.

    And when it comes to demeanor, it’s hard for Europeans to deny that Americans have a warmer presence. A 2025 survey by Upgraded Points asked 2,200 Europeans from 22 different countries for their opinions on Americans. In it, 64% reported that they found Americans friendly.

    On Reddit, an Eastern European who experienced American friendliness firsthand asked Americans why they are “nice and cordial.”

    An Eastern European’s take on Americans

    The Eastern European explained that they had been living in the United States for a few years, and shared what most interactions with Americans have been like.

    “I’ve noticed that common courtesies are much more, well, common, here in the US,” they wrote. “Examples like small talk by cashiers, moving men, etc. Even most people make witty responses, like they’re actually listening to what I said. I’ve said a few times, ‘Oh, I’m just watching Netflix over the weekend.’ And they’ll mention or recommend shows they’ve watched.”

    They went on to explain that it happens often and, seemingly, from a place of authenticity.

    @maraleebell

    Replying to @Tea Time I 100% get why some people say American friendliness feels fake 😨 … and why others say it’s real!

    ♬ original sound – Maralee Bell

    “They also always ask how I am, asking about my weekend plans, holding open the door for several people, and more,” they shared. “It just seems ingrained from an early age. And a lot of it seems genuine, very rarely forced.”

    The post ended, “I’ve just found this so refreshing as someone who’s from a region in the world where people don’t even make eye contact with you. This is seriously an underrated part of American culture in my opinion.”

    Americans respond

    Americans shared their wholesome replies as to why they are genuinely nice and cordial:

    “It’s fun to be nice to people, because it makes you feel happier inside.”

    “I dunno. Just how I was raised. I find it difficult to not be nice to strangers cause like why do I want to cause trouble and make a scene? All it does is hinder my day and cause more issues. Takes more effort to be mean than to just.. Not be.”

    “I read once that cultures with big melting pots of ethnicities (USA, Brazil) tend to be more outwardly friendly with smiles and body language as there were large portions of times when the country was largely immigrants that wouldn’t understand each others language so they’d smile at strangers because they couldn’t speak their language, and then that remained embedded in the culture. It was a convincing argument.”

    “I mean… another way to look at it is, ‘why wouldn’t you be?’ An ex-girlfriend of mine once said, ‘if you can’t find the joy in the small things in life, you’ll never be happy with any other successes.’ So when you meet someone, ask about them, smile, gas them up, make them happy. Those endorphins are contagious.”

    “Cordiality is how a nation of immigrants helps create social cohesion. Cordiality is a public practice of democracy. Cordiality is an implicit way of acknowledging equal standing under the law. We will see how long it lasts now.”

    “Yeah, I think that equality is such an American value that we have it engrained to smile and be cordial to strangers as a way of affirming a lack of class boundaries. I’ve spent lots of time with people from caste/servant/enormous-poverty-divide countries lately and some details in lack of respect to strangers have been really astoundingly off-putting.”

    “Because it costs nothing and makes people happy. I didn’t know why this is an American thing, but I particularly enjoy bullsh*t smalltalk and my German wife thinks I’m insane.”

  • Brazilian pianist covers Guns N’ Roses with the weirdest instrument of all: rubber chickens
    Rubber chickens are an underrated instrument.Photo credit: @lordvinheteiro on TikTok

    There are many ways to pay tribute to a music artist through a cover of one of their songs. Some honor their inspiration by playing their hit song in a different genre of music. Others cover the song through different instrumentation or key changes. Then there’s the guy who performs his cover with rubber chickens.

    The professional pianist known as Lord Vinheteiro has gotten attention on TikTok by performing Guns N’ Roses’ song “Sweet Child O’ Mine.” Only, instead of the vocal stylings of Axl Rose, Vinheteiro sings the song through the squeaky voices of rubber chickens of varying sizes. And he nails it.

    @lordvinheteiro

    Sweet Child O’ Mine – Guns N’Roses sweetchildomine gunsnroses rubberchickens chickens chicken vinheteiro lordvinheteiro

    ♬ som original – Lord Vinheteiro – Lord Vinheteiro

    Commenters were equal parts impressed and amused:

    “How does one tune a rubber chicken?”

    “Next year’s Super Bowl show! UNRIVALED!!!”

    “If you close your eyes, it sounds just like Axl Rose.”

    “This is what the internet was invented for.”

    “I don’t care what y’all say… THIS IS TALENT.”

    “Simply awesome, Maestro!”

    “As a middle school science teacher would you mind if I showed this video to my students? We’re studying sound waves and this is a perfect example of frequency and pitch.”

    “Needed this smile. Thank you.”

    “Clucking brilliant.”

    Who is this rubber chicken maestro?

    Lord Vinheteiro, the professional name of Brazilian musician Fabrício André Bernard Di Paolo, has entertained the Internet since 2008. He gained attention through his expert piano skills—where he’s playing theme songs from cartoons or playing the piano at a distance with strings. All the while, Vinheteiro adds to the absurdity by looking directly into the camera with an expressionless face.

    Prior to his career as a YouTube content creator and music teacher, Paolo worked in construction. His videos grew in popularity in his native Brazil before gaining traction worldwide. Until recently, he showcased his classical music prowess by playing video game themes and other pop-culture favorites. In 2025, he began expanding his musical talent by incorporating rubber chickens into his content.

    While still showcasing his impressive piano skills, he frequently shows off his rubber chicken singing abilities using chickens of various sizes. Impressively, Paolo is able to hit the proper tone and pitch with expert grip and timing. This feat has earned him millions of views on rubber chicken versions of a wide variety of songs, from System of a Down’s “Chop Suey!” to Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody,” and even the “Imperial March” theme from Star Wars.

    If you are amused and fascinated by Lord Vinheteiro’s work, check out his social media for more. It may be piano and rubber chickens for now, but it’ll be interesting to see which instrument he masters next.

  • Drummer creates amazing cover videos from wheelchair with innovative mouth-trigger kick pedal
    A drummer creates inspiring cover videos from his wheelchair with help from a mouth-trigger kick pedal.Photo credit: Screenshots via Jesse Avi on Instagram

    Drummer Jesse Avi has racked up millions of social media views with his precise, tasteful cover videos. But these clips are also fascinating and motivational on a deeper level: Avi, who uses the handle “The Slightly Different Drummer,” performs them all from his wheelchair, operating the kick drum with a pedal triggered by his mouth. 

    Avi has been posting his covers—everything from modern soul music (Silk Sonic’s “Smokin Out the Window”) to early ’80s power pop (Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl”)—since December 2025. But he truly reached social media virality the following month by tackling Incubus’ 1999 alt-metal classic “Pardon Me.” It’s a killer rendition, nailing José Pasillas’ deft snare rolls, cathartic crash cymbals, and powerful kick grooves. Both drummers and non-musicians responded, with the clip reaching over a million views on Instagram alone. 

    “This is inspiring”

    Here are some of the top comments: 

    “Dude you are LOCKED IN 🤘”

    “Is the trigger for the kick in your mouth this is AMAZING 💪🏻

    “Hell yeah button 👉🏻”

    “For any non drummers, please know this is incredibly tight playing”

    “Pardon me sir but this is amazing !!!!”

    “Nothing stopping you!!! 🔥🔥🔥”

    “Im about to have a major spine surgery and i have a fear of losing mobility in my legs after and nor being able to drum. This gave me hope even if the worst comes to pass. This is inspiring”

    “Obsessed with rhythm”

    Avi tells Upworthy he started playing drums around age 10, “obsessed with rhythm.” When he first saw the video for Hanson’s 1997 pop hit “MMMBop” on MTV, he found himself locking in on the drummer, Zac Hanson. “Something about the power and control behind the kit pulled me in, and the fact that it was just kids playing blew my mind,” he says.

    Soon enough, he was “banging on pillows” and quickly found himself behind an actual kit. But after a spinal cord injury at age 13, he stopped playing for several years—and when he started back, he couldn’t continue with the traditional drum setup.

    “At first, that was frustrating—because muscle memory and habit are huge parts of drumming,” he recalls. “But I also realized that if I wanted to keep playing at the level I expected from myself, I’d have to rethink things instead of resisting the change. In a lot of ways, it made me more creative. I had to analyze my playing from the ground up—literally. It forced me to become more intentional, more disciplined, and more technical about how I move around the kit. What could’ve been a limitation ended up reshaping my style and making me a more thoughtful drummer.”

    “I needed to retrain my brain”

    A major breakthrough came on July 5, 2005, after glimpsing a Def Leppard show at New Jersey’s FirstEnergy Park, where he worked as a dishwasher.

    “I’ll never forget it,” he says. “On my break, I was able to watch the band perform a few songs, and I was amazed at how Rick Allen, their drummer with one arm, could play so smoothy and perfectly. I drove home that night thinking to myself, ‘If he can do it, I can do it.’ Keep in mind, no YouTube or online videos were around for me to really watch him perform. So I spent the next few days [experimenting] with this pedal that I took from an electronic drum set I got for Christmas a few years earlier.”

    At first, Avi tried sticking the pedal under his arm, but it would fall right out. He tried sitting on it, but that proved too uncomfortable. After putting the device in his mouth, he found he could play simple beats.

    “It was hard, and I needed to retrain my brain that biting down is the kick drum now, not my leg,” he says. “Within a week, I was playing daily, and it never really stopped from there. I always continued to play on and off—sometimes I wouldn’t play for a year or so, and then I’d play for three years straight. As of recently I have been playing more, and it’s been a great feeling.”

    The technical side of his playing is pretty inventive: Avi bites down on the trigger every time he wants to hear a kick drum, which sends a signal to his “drum brain”—a Roland TD-3—and then into the Yamaha EAD10 drum module to create the kick sound.

    His videos have sparked a range of responses: both pro and casual musicians sharing their feedback, drummers asking technical questions, and people sharing how the videos inspired them.

    “I can tell you this: There are plenty of good people on this Earth,” Avi says. “I have really had some amazing comments and DMs from people all over the world. It’s incredible. The response has honestly been one of the most meaningful parts of sharing my videos. I’ve had everyday drummers reach out, and even a few professional players, letting me know they connected with what I’m doing. That’s something I don’t take lightly.” 

    “It’s been especially powerful hearing that something as simple as me playing and being consistent has inspired other people—whether that’s pushing through their own challenges or just picking up the sticks again,” he adds. “At the end of the day, drumming is such a tight-knit community. It doesn’t matter if you’re playing arenas or in your garage—we all understand the language of rhythm. Being able to connect with other musicians through that has been one of the biggest unexpected rewards.” 

    “I almost melted into the floor”

    So what makes the Incubus video so special? Even Avi isn’t sure, but maybe it’s due to the power of the song itself.

    “When I recorded that video, I honestly didn’t think it would do what it did,” he says with a laugh. “With everything going on in the world right now, the song has its own identity, right? Like, it starts tight. Then it gradually expands—more energy, more intensity, more space. When it hits the chorus, it feels like release. Not chaos but a release. It doesn’t say ‘I’m mad at the world.’ It’s more like ‘I’m overwhelmed, and I’m trying to understand it.’ I think people really connect with that.”

    “I could also be totally wrong,” he adds. “I don’t know what the algorithm was doing that day, but it sure reached a lot of people. It was crazy. I went from 12 Instagram followers to four thousand the next day. José Pasillas and [Incubus singer] Brandon Boyd both liked the video on Instagram, and I almost melted into the floor. I couldn’t believe it.”

    It’s one powerful moment of many for The Slightly Different Drummer, who’s inspired to keep pushing himself. 

    “I’ve been playing for over 20 years now, and what’s kept me going is that there’s always another level to reach,” he says. “Drumming isn’t just something I do—it’s part of who I am. It’s how I express myself, how I challenge myself, and honestly, how I connect with people.”

  • A Millennial dad ordered his Gen Alpha daughter a ‘Skip-It’ toy from the ’90s and playfully ribs her for struggling
    Comedian Anthony Rodia bought his Gen Alpha daughter the '90s toy Skip-It.Photo credit: Instagram
    ,

    A Millennial dad ordered his Gen Alpha daughter a ‘Skip-It’ toy from the ’90s and playfully ribs her for struggling

    “It’s not that hard cuz we weren’t playing with iPads back then—we were outside!”

    Millennials grew up in the analog ’90s—a very different childhood than today’s plugged-in Gen Alpha.

    For Millennials who spent hours playing outside, there was one toy that bruised shins and nearly broke ankles: the Skip-It. Millennial comedian Anthony Rodia decided to introduce his Gen Alpha daughter to it.

    In a hilarious video shared with his followers on Instagram, Rodia documents his 10-year-old daughter trying her best to catch a rhythm while playing with the iconic ’90s toy. Rodia explains that he ordered one for her to test out from Amazon, and it leads to lots of laughs for them both.

    From the start, his daughter has a hard time getting into the groove. Rodia immediately starts ribbing her, playfully chirping, “What’s the matter? Our toys are a little too difficult for ya? A little harder than just being on your iPad?”

    She continues to swing the Skip-It around with no success, cracking up at the camera as her dad films and laughs. “Try to play with a toy we had when we were kids. You can’t even do a Skip-It!” he says as the Skip-It slides off her ankle and smashes into him.

    In the next clip, Rodia gives the Skip-It a try and immediately nails it. He jokes to his daughter, “It’s not that hard cuz we weren’t playing with iPads back then—we were outside! Playing with dangerous toys!”

    He shows off his Skip-It skills, folding his arms and even closing his eyes.

    Viewers respond

    In the comments, Rodia addressed viewers who thought he was being a little too tough on his daughter.

    “It’s crazy how many people are getting butt hurt that I’m breaking my daughter’s chops 😂😂😂😂 yet my 10 year old daughter is laughing about it,” he wrote. “If there was no banter in my house growing up, there was something wrong! Update: she kept trying and now mastered it 🤣🤷🏻‍♂️👍🏼.”

    Others loved the joyful interaction and the nostalgia it brought back:

    “This is just a healthy father/daughter dynamic,” one person wrote. “This is how my dad and I talk to each other. Love that man. Got plans to play videogames with him later tonight. He’s 73 years old.”

    Another wrote, “Lmao I had this and a pogo stick 😂.” And another Millennial added, “Now have her put on rollerblades and have her go down a hill at 90 mph with no pads or helmet! 🤣 how did we survive?”

    Millennials on Reddit also chimed in. “Get her a Bop-It next,” one commented. Another wrote, “This also makes me think of Razor scooters when you’d try to spin the bottom around and it’d whack you hard in your shins.”

    History of the Skip-It

    The Skip-It, as it was known in the 1990s, was actually inspired by earlier versions that launched in the 1960s. According to The Retroist, the earliest version was released by Canadian toy company Twinpak, which called it the Footsie. Another Canadian company, Reliable Toys, also had a similar version, named Skip-it (with a lowercase “i”).

    An American version, called the Jingle Jump, launched a few years later, but the Canadian design was deemed superior.

    Ultimately, the Skip-It Millennials grew to know and love was launched by Tiger Electronics in 1989 after the rights were purchased from American toy company the Paul E. Price Company. Thanks to Skip-It commercials on kids’ TV network Nickelodeon, the Skip-It craze exploded.

    In 2011, TIME magazine included the Skip-It on its list of the “All-TIME 100 Greatest Toys.”

    Clearly, the Skip-It is a beloved toy that’s still bringing smiles decades later.

  • Man shares how not getting a wedding invite made him end a 10-year friendship, and it struck a chord
    A man shared how not getting an wedding invite made him end an 10-year friendship. Photo credit: @yonosoyasi5/TikTok
    ,

    Man shares how not getting a wedding invite made him end a 10-year friendship, and it struck a chord

    “I went through so much with this person that I thought I had made the cut.”

    As many are in the habit of doing, a man recently took to TikTok to “vent.” His “story time” was about his choice to end a 10-year friendship after not getting invited to said friend’s wedding. It soon became undeniably clear that he wasn’t alone in having an experience like this. 

    In the now-viral clip, the creator, @yonosoyasi5, explained that he understood that weddings are special, expensive moments, and therefore “not everyone can go.” 

    However, he admitted that “I went through so much with this person that I thought I had made the cut.”

    This blow ultimately caused @yonosoyasi5 to accept that the friendship as he knew it had come to a close. There was no animosity, but there wasn’t any effort, either. 

     “I wish him the best. I never wish him ill. But to say that I wanna be a part of his life now, it would be very fake. I just don’t care anymore,” he said. 

    Even when confronted by a member of that shared friend group, @yonosoyasi5 was upfront about his stance, saying, “What am I gonna hang out with him for? What’s the objective of me putting energy into this friendship?”

    TikTok reacts

    The video soon got an onslaught of comments from people who had similarly heartbreaking experiences—and developed similar mindsets. 

    “One of my BEST guy friends for 8+ years did not invite me to his wedding. I introduced him to his wife. They went out because of me. I have never been more hurt in my life. I cut off the relationship …and they always try to pull me back closer…I can never pull the knife out of my back.”

    “It’s not actually the wedding invite, it’s finding out the person doesn’t see you as a close friend.”

    “Once you exclude me from important moments, I will exclude you from my entire life.”

    “I think at our age we want to get back what we put into friendships/relationships. You love with your whole heart, so to not have it reciprocated is hurtful. I feel ya.”

    “Crazy…this happened to me…20 years of growing up down the drain.” 

    Lastly, one person even said, “friendship breakups are WORSE than romantic breakups.” 

    woman, alone, grief, breakup, friendship
    Woman sitting alone on a bench overlooking the water.Photo credit: Canva Photos

    Many experts seem to agree with this notion. Or, at the very least, that friendship loss triggers what’s known as “ambiguous grief,” which is the feeling of anguish that comes from losing someone physically while they are psychologically present (e.g., missing person, mental illness, divorce). Our stress responses are triggered, our feel-good chemicals get depleted, our sleep gets disrupted—which is all a science-based way of saying it hurts. Really bad.

    This level of ambiguous grief really depends on what the friendship personally meant to a person. In @yonosoyasi5’s case, it meant a great deal. Thankfully, there are ways to navigate these difficult transitions. 

    Coping strategies for friendship loss
    1. Allow yourself to grieve

    Even once you’ve reached acceptance and found other meaningful relationships, waves of yearning for what’s past may still creep up. Allow space for those feelings. They will pass. 

    2. Use it as a learning opportunity

    Without assigning blame, you can get curious about what might have caused the relationship to end. This way, you can set clear friendship intentions moving forward. 

    3. Engage in self-care

    Journal, meditate, reclaim old passions, exercise, and get outdoors. These things tend to help with grief of all kinds. 

    4. Appreciate the support systems you still have

    Taking stock of the good friends that remain in your life can help offset any feelings of loneliness and reinforce a sense of belonging, experts say. 

    Bottom line: cutting someone out of our lives hurts, but that pain might truly be the lesser evil in the long run. May we all have the foresight to know the difference and seek out those who do give us such grace. 

  • Reese Witherspoon’s blunt advice for young fan’s career change: ‘Don’t chase your dreams’
    A young woman looking stressed and Reese Witherspoon.Photo credit: Jenn Deering Davis/Wikimedia Commons and Canva
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    Reese Witherspoon’s blunt advice for young fan’s career change: ‘Don’t chase your dreams’

    “Everybody has dreams. Doesn’t mean you’re going to be that thing.”

    There is no expiration date for finding success in life, but knowing what you want to do at a young age can give you a significant advantage in a competitive world. The problem is that many folks aren’t sure which path to pursue. Do you follow your dreams or take the safer route to success?

    Actress Reese Witherspoon, who’s also had massive success as a producer and entrepreneur, says the answer is easy: follow your talents.

    A young woman unhappy in her career asked Witherspoon for advice on starting a new one, and the Legally Blonde star shared her thoughts on Instagram.

    Witherspoon’s career advice

    “Okay, well, what are your talents?” Witherspoon asked the woman. “And she had a hard time telling me what her specific talents were. And I thought to myself, this is very, very important. You don’t chase your dreams, you chase your talent.”

    “Everybody has dreams. Doesn’t mean you’re going to be that thing. You are supposed to do what you’re talented at,” Witherspoon said. “It’s your job in life to figure out what your specific, unique talents are and go chase them. That’s what you’re going to do. Chase your talents. Not your dreams.”

    Witherspoon’s advice is practical but also leaves the door open for some magic. If you are an incredible painter and an average singer, it’s best to focus on improving your painting skills. Focusing on your talents can also help you fulfill your dreams, but you have to hone your talent first.

    “It’s magic when your talents align with your dreams or when you recognize your talents can support your dreams,” one person wrote in the comments on Witherspoon’s video.

    reese witherspoon, actress, red carpet, legally blonde, black dress
    Reese Witherspoon in 2011. Photo credit: Eva Rinaldi/Wikimedia Commons.

    Career coaches chime in on Witherspoon’s advice

    Upworthy reached out to professional career coaches to see what they had to say about Witherspoon’s advice.

    “From a research standpoint, Witherspoon is right to push back on the blanket (and all too popular) advice to follow your dreams,” said Dr. Heather Maietta, the owner of Career In Progress, a global private practice that develops career professionals. “Strengths (or talent) alignment is strongly associated with engagement and performance.”

    happy employee, career, briefcase, success, leaping, shadow man
    A man leaping with a briefcase. Photo credit: Canva

    “However, decades of career development research suggest that sustainable career decisions sit at the intersection of three factors: demonstrated strengths (talents), genuine interest and motivation, and market demand and role economics,” she added.

    Karol Ward, a licensed psychotherapist who coaches corporate clients in professional growth, said that once someone has identified the talents they wish to cultivate, they should reach out to successful people in their network to create a roadmap for success. She shared some questions people should ask their connections:

    • Did they have clear intentions or a vision about what they wanted?

    • Did they create a specific plan, and if so, what did that look like?

    • Did they hire support people such as coaches, therapists, or financial planners?

    • Did they take classes, join organizations, or find mentors?

    • What resources do they recommend?

    • How did they choose who or what to spend their time on to reach their goals?

    Witherspoon has achieved her dreams by succeeding as an A-list actress, an incredibly difficult career to break into that takes skill, perseverance, and a lot of luck. So, one would think she’d tell everyone to follow their dreams, too. However, she believes the best way to find success is for people to be the best versions of themselves, and that’s an opportunity available to everyone.

  • Figure skater Amber Glenn goes viral for act of kindness during rival’s moment of devastation
    Amber Glenn and Kaori Sakamoto.Photo credit: SpiritedMichelle, Phantom Kabocha

    Japan’s Kaori Sakamoto was all but set to take home the gold in the women’s singles free skate at the Olympics, having entered the final leg of the competition in second place. Considering this would be the three-time world champion’s final skate before retiring, it would have been the ideal way to go out.

    But things didn’t go to plan. Sakamoto apparently made a fatal mistake during a triple combo, placing her just under two points behind American skater (with the really cool hair) Alysa Liu, who ultimately won the gold.

    Understandably, there was anguish. 

    Sitting in the arena, Sakamoto’s let her tears fall. The Olympic broadcast camera attempted to capture the moment, but was disrupted by fellow skater Amber Glenn of the U.S. Glen had also experienced the sting of not winning gold and knew her rival needed privacy in that vulnerable moment.

    So, she put herself between Sakamoto and the camera. She waved her hands to relay that filming should stop, then turned to comfort her fellow athlete.

    “I only felt regret,” Sakamoto said, according to Olympics.com. “I’ve come this far and I couldn’t get it done. The frustration is unbearable. I felt like the bronze medal last time was a miracle, and I’m wearing a better medal around my neck yet I’m frustrated — which probably says a lot about all the work I put in the last four years. And for that, I just want to give myself a pat on the back.”

    Her stance exemplifies a phenomenon that is rather common among Olympic athletes. According to NPR, bronze medalists tend to be happier than those who win silver presumably because they are “viewing their wins through different standards of comparison.” Winning bronze is a pleasant surprise as you’re comparing it to not placing at all. The opposite is true of winning silver—you’re comparing it “upward” toward what could have been.

    Of course, the fact that it would be Sakamoto’s last Olympic skate added to her grief. As she put it, “I guess this is how my story ends. It hurts, I have to admit.”

    And who better to know what that grief might feel like than another athlete? That’s what makes this moment, however tragic, really quite beautiful. In an instant, there was no team division, just two kindred spirits who understood each other’s passion. The term “holding space” has become a bit of a joke these days, but it remains one of the kindest acts we can do for one another.

    The Olympics might be the biggest competition in the world, but moments like these remind us it’s not all about winning. 

  • Drumming mom brings down the house at daughter’s wedding with family take on Weezer classic
    A drumming mom brought down the house at her daughter's wedding.Photo credit: Instagram screenshots via juinsommer

    There are lots of cool moms out there. You may even have one yourself. But has anyone ever been cooler than this lady? In February, Juin Sommer went viral with an Instagram video showing his mom learning the drum part to Weezer’s 1994 alt-rock classic “Say It Ain’t So,” then playing it at her daughter’s wedding.

    The clip is wonderful on many levels, but it deserves a little context. Starting in November 2025, Sommer posted a series of videos showing his mom, Elly, practicing on an electronic drum kit. He captioned the first one, “My mom learning the drums for her midlife crisis.”

    Drummer mom’s viral first gig

    Motivation aside, the final product was more than worth it. Sommer captioned the big reveal post “How it started” and “How it went,” contrasting his mom’s practice session with the actual wedding performance. The latter is a family-band affair: Sommer sings and plays the guitar solo, the bride Hanna is on rhythm guitar, longtime friend RJ is on bass, and mom lays down thunder behind the kit. She nails every moment, from the syncopated kick and splashy ride cymbals to the pre-chorus snare rolls. All in all, an excellent first gig.

    After the clip went viral, it made its way to Weezer themselves.

    “Nothing says happily ever after quite like some =w= at your wedding,” the band wrote on Instagram. “Congrats to mom on nailing the drums and congrats to the happy couple!”

    Both Sommer and Hanna responded with amazement. “Wow crazy that one my favorite bands was able to see this,” the former enthused. “AHHHHHH OMG THIS IS SO AMAZING!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOO MUCH THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE!!!!!!” added the latter. 

    “Epic on so many levels”

    Of course, lots of other admirers shared their kind words. Here are some of the top comments:

    “who needs a DJ when you have mom??”

    “Coolest mum ever”

    “WE LOVE YOU WEEZER MOM”

    “This is wedding goals right here =w=”

    “This is the first wedding video I’ve seen that actually makes me want to get married someday, and then become the Korean mom playing at her kid’s wedding with sunglasses on like an absolute legend 😭😭😭 also amazing work on the noodly guitar solo!

    “I’ve filmed like 170 weddings as a videographer and this would have made me lose my mind. So good 👏👏”

    “This is probably one of the best things I’ve seen”

    “This is so outrageously cool omg

    “Imagine having a mom and sister that cool.

    “Why is her timing so good? Also brother crushed those vocals”

    “Help why did this make me emotional 😭 her rocking out in the hanbok omg 👏

    “Epic on so many levels”

    “Feel like your sister rocking out in her wedding dress needs to be highlighted as well”

    It all started with a joke

    Sommer tells Upworthy that the road to virality began with a joking Snapchat about his mom’s “midlife crisis” moment. “I found that snap more recently and posted it, and it got a lot of attention, which I was surprised to see,” he says with a laugh.

    Elly had already been learning drums, but she cranked up her practice time after brainstorming the friends-and-family wedding performance. “She won’t admit it, but she was so nervous,” Sommer adds, “especially since it was her first time playing in front of a crowd.”

    This was a special moment for a lot of reasons, and the song choice was meaningful, too. Sommer, Hanna, and RJ used to play together in a high school band, often covering “Say It Ain’t So.”

    “I think I covered that song at least 50 times over the years with different bands,” Sommer notes. “So we all already knew it, except my mom.”

    Given his longtime love of emo, pop-punk, and alt-rock, seeing Weezer’s reaction was definitely a trip.

    “We were all in awe,” he says. “I didn’t even notice until my other younger sister, Zoë, sent it to me on Instagram. We all were so excited that one of our favorite bands was able to actually see us play.”

    In summary, the bar has officially been raised for cool moms, wedding music, viral drummers, and family bands.

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