Image credit: Evan Edinger/YouTube
You learn a lot about your country when you leave it for a while.
Evan Edinger moved to London over 13 years ago to study abroad but never planned on staying overseas permanently. His goal was to get his degree, return to the United States, start his career, and make a life for himself. He thought of his time in London as a "temporary adventure."
But when he finished his degree, he found himself in an unexpected situation: He didn't want to go back. "The longer I stayed in London," Edinger shares on his YouTube channel, "the more I began to notice all of the assumptions that I'd grown up believing in America, the things I was brought up to believe were undeniably true and just the way the world worked—it turns out they weren't true at all."
One of the benefits of living in another country is seeing your country of origin through different eyes. That perspective can cause you to appreciate some things and question other things. Edinger shares nine realizations he's had about the U.S. since he left, starting with one of the most quintessentially American realities he found himself questioning.
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1. Guns
Edinger grew up in New Jersey and describes it as "quite a blue state," but he was still immersed in the gun culture that views gun ownership as a fundamental part of being an American.
"I was raised in a very pro-gun household," Edinger says. "In my family home in America, we had a 12-gauge shotgun, a 10-gauge, a black powder rifle, and a .410 shotgun for the children. My dad would take us out some days to shoot empty cans of beer or play pigeons or sometimes go hunting for pheasants or deer."
He says the notion of not owning a gun was unthinkable in his upbringing. "The idea that other countries do not allow guns is viewed more like these other countries are missing a fundamental right," he says.
His ideas about guns have changed dramatically since moving to London and living in a society without ubiquitous access to guns. "Visiting Philadelphia when I was younger was always scary to me because I never knew who had a gun, who wanted to rob me," Edinger shares. "Visiting New Orleans a couple years ago, I was told by my hotel staff that a few days prior, a tourist was shot and died in the local Popeye's Chicken because he caught a stray bullet of two people having an argument in the restaurant. So, that's just something that people just have to deal with. This constant fear of I could just die being caught in a crossfire and there's nothing I can really do about it because freedom. I've pretty much never felt that level of fear in London at all. And that alone was enough to sway my opinion on guns."
The U.S. has a unique gun culture.Photo credit: Canva
2. Government
"One thing that's really drilled into you pretty much every year of American school is that American democracy is the end-all be-all of government and that it is the beacon of freedom other countries look to emulate. Then, once you become an adult and you see how dysfunctional the U.S. government is, you search for anything to feel better about it and usually settle on 'Well, at least it's not a third world dictatorship.'"
But those aren't the only two options. Edinger explains how the parliamentary system in the U.K. is far from perfect, but it tends to be more effective at actually getting things done because lawmakers aren't constantly stymied by the inherently destructive two-party gridlock we have in the U.S.
"It's messy, yes, but after 13 years away, I've come to the belief that no system of government is perfect," he says. "But most systems in Western Europe are far more effective than what I grew up believing was the 'best in the world.'"
3. Walkability and Public Transport
In the U.S., having a car is practically a symbol of freedom, but Edinger says he's never felt the need to have a car in his 13 years living in London. He says it's been incredibly freeing to be able to walk and take public transit everywhere, and not just in the city. He's been able to travel all over Europe, in larger cities and small towns, and the focus on walkable neighborhoods and public transportation is everywhere.
It's much easier to get around without a car in Europe. Photo credit: Canva
"After having spent some time living in walkable neighborhoods, I would never ever choose to live in a car dependent place ever again," Edinger says. "It is truly one of the most life-changing parts of living over here. And because I'm always walking everywhere, because I'm always cycling everywhere, it's so much easier to be healthy and physically fit without even trying."
4. Food Quality and Price
Europe has different regulations than the U.S., Edinger explains, with an approach that leads to a lot less additives and chemicals being added to foods.
"Europe's food agency focuses on possibilities and the U.S.'s focuses on probabilities. Is it possible an unnecessary additive could be harmful? Europe prohibits it just to be safe. The US agency, the FDA, they only step in if the probability of it being harmful is high. So, that risk is passed on to the average American consumer."
Edinger also points out that the ability to walk down to the store to get fresh ingredients regularly makes it a lot easier to eat well. "It's one of those things where once you experience both, there is no contest. No contest. So, it's much easier to be healthy in Europe than in America."
5. Healthcare in the U.S. vs. Europe
"If my health does have issues, I am glad it's not something that would ever bankrupt me or cause me to ever think about how much it would have to cost me just to be sick," says Edinger.
Americans often hear horror stories about socialized medicine, but Edinger's experience with going to the doctor and even going to the hospital have been positive, and barely cost him anything.
The U.S. is an outlier in the world when it comes to healthcare costs. Photo credit: Canva
"There are only two types of people that are against the freeing social safety net that is universal healthcare," says Edinger. "People that have never experienced socialized healthcare and people that profit from the broken system. That's it." Most Americans want it, but "most Americans" is not where the money is.
6. Consumer Protections in the U.S. vs Europe
Edinger shares that he bought a MacBook Pro in 2019 that didn't work right, and he hadn't purchased AppleCare because he knew he didn't have to.
"If you buy a tech product in Europe, you have a reasonable expectation that it should last you at least two years free of defects," says Edinger. "And if it's not up to your expectations or breaks down before then, you can demand a return or replacement. This law protects consumers from shady business practices."
He ended up getting his full money back on the computer due to those consumer protections.
"It's laws like this where you really begin to notice a pattern that life in Europe is one that gives more rights to the everyday person over giant corporations and shared benefit over private," says Edinger.
7. Worker Rights
"A quick summary would be 28 days minimum paid holiday, one year paid maternity leave, two weeks paid paternity leave, sick leave, even the right against unlawful termination," said Edinger. "When working part-time at Urban Outfitters in London, even though I worked less than 20 hours a week, I still got two days paid holiday per month. That's insane, right? No, that's just life over here. Meanwhile, I worked five years at a Pizza Hut in New Jersey for over 30 hours per week. Never got a single day of paid vacation."
Indeed, there's more than a handful of European countries that guarantee at least a month of paid days off, with some countries actually requiring a certain number of days or weeks off.
Europeans get far more generous paid leave than Americans do.Photo credit: Canva
Edinger points out the irony that he was always taught that the U.S. was for the individual, for individual freedoms. But in his experience, in Europe individuals have more rights than those with money or power, while it's the opposite in the U.S.
8. Money (Live to work or work to live?)
Edinger says that most things are more affordable in Europe, from groceries to data plans, but Americans do earn higher salaries.
"So if you earn a lot of money and money is your sole defining metric of success, then you can feel a lot more successful in the U.S.," he says. "But because the culture in Europe is work to live and not live to work, you might find that the stress and cost tradeoffs and quality of life erode the value of that higher salary quite quickly."
9. On Romanticizing Europe
People often wonder if Americans romanticize Europe too much, and Edinger says the same question used to be asked of Europeans romanticizing America. But now that we have YouTube and social media and a better ability to see the realities of both places, he says what Americans "romanticize" about Europe is really just the things we want and don't have.
Work-life balance is something a lot of Americans struggle with.Photo credit: Canva
"I think most Americans who are eyeing up Europe are doing so because of the things that America is lacking. Nearly two in three Americans want universal healthcare. Well, America doesn't offer that. Again, two in three Americans want European style vacation policies. America doesn't offer that. And 53% of Americans would prefer to live in a walkable neighborhood, but sorry, America doesn't offer that. The list goes on. If America were an actual democracy, I don't think many of these people would be having romanticized views of Europe at all because they wouldn't need to. They could have everything they wanted in the country they were born and raised."
Of course, every country has its problems and there are certainly downsides to moving abroad. Edinger acknowledges that but says it really boils down to what you value in life. Americans are taught to romanticize the U.S., and leaving it helps you see the reality, what's good about your country and where it has room for improvement.
"I think the main thing though out of everything that I miss about the U.S. that I can't really get here is not rights, not freedoms, not anything that's big on quality of life improvements," says Edinger. "It's just Mexican food and good ice cream."
You can follow Evan Edinger on YouTube for more on his experiences as an American living abroad.
Tina Plantamura
A letter to my mother-in-law about my 3 boys.
You always stole my thunder. You gave them everything they wanted. You never said no when they asked for anything.
A second helping of dessert. Candy before dinner. A few more minutes in the bath. Money for the ice cream truck.
I struggled to show you respect and appreciation while trying to make sure you didn't spoil my children. I thought you would turn them into “selfish brats" by giving them everything they wanted. I thought they might never learn to wait, to take turns, to share, because you granted their wishes as soon as they opened their mouths and pointed.
You held each one of my babies long after they fell asleep. Didn't you understand that I needed them to learn to fall asleep on their own?
The author's three sons as young children. Tina Plantamura
You ran to them as soon as they made the tiniest sound. How would they ever learn to self-soothe?
I resented you for buying the best and most expensive gifts on their birthdays and on Christmas. How could I possibly compete with you?
And how they loved afternoons spent with you. You made their favorite things for dinner—three different meals for three different boys. And you always had a little surprise. A present, candy, or a special treat. I didn't want them to associate you with gifts and sweets. I thought they should love you for you. I tried to tell you this, but you wouldn't listen.
I spent a lot of time wondering why you did all these things and how I could get you to ease up. I know grandmothers are supposed to “spoil the kids" then send them home, but you were...ridiculous.
Until you were gone.
Grandparents often aren't appreciated fully until they're gone. Photo by Robin Noguier on Unsplash
I had to hold my boys and tell them that their grandma died. It didn't seem possible—you were supposed to be there for all the other special moments: proms, graduations, weddings. But they lost their grandma too soon and too suddenly. They were not ready to say goodbye.
During those years when I wished you'd stop spoiling them, I never thought about how much you loved them. So much that you showed it in every way possible. Your cooking. The gifts. The candy and sweets. Your presence. The way you could recount every detail of a special moment, whether it was a perfect catch in the outfield or a sweet and slightly off-key note sung at a school concert. Your grandmotherly love for them knew no bounds. Your heart poured love from every place possible—your kitchen, your pocketbook, your words, and your tireless arms.
It's pointless to dwell on regrets, but I often think about how I had it all wrong. I was so wrong in how I perceived your generosity.
My kids, now in their teens, miss you dearly. And they don't miss your gifts or your money. They miss you.
They miss running to greet you at the door and hugging you before you could step in. They miss looking up at the bleachers and seeing you, one of their biggest fans, smiling and enthralled to catch their eye. They miss talking to you and hearing your words of wisdom, encouragement and love.
The author wrote down everything she wishes she could have said. Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash
If I could speak to you one more time, I would tell you that every time a precious moment steals my heart, every time I watch them arrive at a new milestone, and every time they amaze me with their perseverance, talents, or triumphs, I think of you. And I wish that they could have you back.
Come back and love them one last time, like no one else in the world but a grandmother could. Bring your sweets and surprises. Reward them with gifts for the smallest accomplishments. Painstakingly prepare their favorite meals. Take them anywhere they want to go. All and only because you love them.
Come back and see how much they've grown. Watch each boy becoming his own version of a young man. Be in awe with me as we admire how family, friendship, time, and love helped them grow so beautifully over the years.
The more I long for you to come back, though, the more I realize that in a way, you never left.
Tina Plantamura's three teenaged sons. Tina Plantamura
I understand now. I know you loved them in every way you could. I know that being their grandma gave you joy and purpose. And of course I know that you can't come back, but I do know that your love for them will always remain. Your love built them and sheltered them in ways that cannot be described. Your love is a big part of who they are and what they will become as they grow. For this, and for every treat and gift, and every time you held them too long or consoled them too much or let them stay up too late, I will always thank you.
And I will wish a million times that you could do it all again.
This article was written by Tina Plantamura and originally appeared nine years ago. It has been updated.
From Your Site Articles
Photographing the path of light.
A camera developed at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology can photograph a trillion frames per second (fps).
Compare that with a traditional movie camera that takes a mere 24 fps. This advancement in photographic technology has given scientists the ability to photograph the movement of the fastest thing in the Universe: light.
The actual event occurred in a nano second—that is one billionth of a second—but the camera has the ability to slow it down to twenty seconds.
The amazing camera.Photo from YouTube|Nova50
For some perspective, according to New York Times writer John Markoff, "If a bullet were tracked in the same fashion moving through the same fluid, the resulting movie would last three years."
In the video below, you'll see experimental footage of light photons traveling 600-million-miles-per-hour through water:
- YouTube www.youtube.com
It's impossible to directly record light, so the camera takes millions of scans to recreate each image. The process has been called "femto-photography."
According to Andreas Velten, an MIT researcher involved with the project, "There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."
This article originally appeared eight years ago.
Woman learns lesson in kindness after date apologizes.
How you treat people in the service industry is often used as a measure of what kind of person you are. Arguably, the same could be said for how you treat anyone in a customer-facing job, whether it be the sales associate at a department store, the cashier at McDonald's, or the janitor in your office building.
While people may think that these jobs are not skilled positions, they do require an immense amount of skill that has to be learned. Sadly, though the skill itself is valuable, it usually isn't as valued by society as a whole, and often leads to people treating those in customer-facing jobs poorly. But in 2023 when a woman went on a date with a potential partner, her poor behavior towards the waitstaff caused him to pause.
The story was shared by a woman by the name of Barbara NOT Barb on X with a lengthy thread about her daughter's recent interaction. Though the details were juicy, a deeper message about kindness clearly came to the forefront of the story.
Barbara's daughter works as a server at a high-end restaurant in Los Angeles, and she was asked to bring water to a couple's table in someone else's section to help out. But according to the X thread, when her daughter arrived at the table, the woman at the table started berating and insulting her.
Customers upset with waiter.via Canva Photos.
Apparently, the couple, who were on their first date, were waiting for their drink orders from the bar. If you've ever worked in a restaurant, you know that servers don't have anything to do with how quickly your food or drinks get made. They keep an eye out for the items as they care for other tables, but either this woman didn't realize that or didn't care, because she yelled at the server for how long their drinks were taking. The only mistake this particular server made was being kind to a co-worker and offering to drop off glasses of water.
After the server tried unsuccessfully to de-escalate the situation, the woman demanded to speak to the manager. It's not clear if this was the woman's first date ever, but it was her first date with the stunned man at the table. Since people generally attempt to put their best foot forward on a first date, it's not surprising that the man decided to end the date right then and there. But before he did that, he gave a lesson in kindness.
Before the manager could reach the table, the likely embarrassed man intercepted him.
"He asked to close out the tab. Explained it was a first date and that the woman's behavior disgusted him. He paid the tab at the bar and then requested my daughter and the original server come talk to him. He apologized profusely for his date's behavior," Barbara wrote. "Needless to say, everyone was floored, in the best way. The woman had somehow been informed that the date was over. She walked out, head down, and was no longer talking down to anyone."
Being kind to others is one of the easiest things to do. Maybe the woman in question was having a bad day—everyone has them—but our bad days probably shouldn't bleed over onto unsuspecting strangers. Hopefully, the servers and the date got a lesson in kindness and standing up for others.
This article originally appeared two years ago.