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Joy

Someone asked what they should know about having a cat. Thousands of people offered input.

There's so much more we know about cats now than previous generations did.

gray cat with chin being scratched by a person's finger

Photo credit: Canva

Cat ownership is a delightful but serious commitment.

Anyone who's had a cat knows how bringing a feline friend into your life makes a huge impact in both positive and not-so-positive ways. Our pet cats might bring us great delight, but they also come with some quirks, oddities and other things people who are thinking about getting a cat should prepare for.

That's why when someone asked, "What does one need to know before getting a cat?" on Reddit, thousands of cat owners chimed in with information and advice.

In generations past, cat were seen as largely self-sufficient. That's still somewhat true in comparison to dogs, but we've learned a lot more about cats that has changed (and improved) the way cat owners care for their kitties.

via GIPHY

Here are the main things people say those considering getting a cat should know before committing:

Cats come as they are

People often joke about how their cats are oddballs, but it's a universal truth. Cats are quirky. If you've never had a cat and think they don't have much personality, you're entirely mistaken.

"Every cat has its own personality. It might not match your expectation."

"Every cat is at least a bit of a psychopath."

"Cats are the best pets for people with control issues... Because nothing is going to give you non stop lessons in something you can't control like a cat."

"That their character is complete luck of the draw. You might get one who really enjoys humans...or one who hates them. Or one who only wants to be near them but not touched. Or one that will crawl on your lap every change it gets. You do not know what kind of cat you'll get. If you're willing to take that gamble....go ahead."

"Cats have much stronger personalities than dogs do and often times can't be trained out of that personality the way dogs can. If you get a kitten, it's the luck of the draw whether you get a cat that's very cuddly and affectionate or one that's standoffish and doesn't like to be pet. Even two cats who are raised identically together can be wildly different in how receptive they are to people. If you have a specific idea of what you want out of a cat, such as if you like a lap cat who likes to go to bed with you, you should look into rescuing adult cats who already have their personalities developed."

Kittens choose violence

If you think kittens are cute and cuddly, you couldn't be more right. But also, they have razor blades on their feet and they will tear your extremities apart with them.

"As babies they sometimes like violence."

kittens playing Kittens are cute, but their tiny claws and teeth are SHARP.Photo credit: Canva

"Yeah, they start off cute and then bam—you're covered in scratches, and it’s all because the sock looked at them wrong."

"They come with factory installed murder paws."

"They all like violence. You can never anticipate when they will choose violence."

"Getting a second kitten will help with this!! They can be violent with each other and teach each other boundaries, rather than having one lonely violent kitten constantly slicing up your hands and feet."

Cats like routine

For creatures who seem so aloof, cats are surprisingly very routine-oriented and don't like change much. Moving around furniture, going out of town or changing their feeding schedule can throw them off and cause stress.

"Cats are big fans of routines. They know when breakfast/dinner is, when playtime is and when you get home. If their routine is disrupted and these things happen sooner or later than they’re used to, they may get upset.

They’re also not fans of change in their environment. A new person or pet moving in, furniture being rearranged, new food, new litter, etc. can all unsettle a cat, make them feel unsafe and drive them to hide."

"Don't make abrupt changes. It is recommended that all changes should be subtle and in little steps. If you're going to move its bowl, or the litter box, it is advised to do it slowly. They don't react well to abrupt changes. Moving to another house or city can be really traumatic, leaving them stressed out for months."

cat in a box Changes like moving can be hard on cats.Photo credit: Canva

Cats like cleanliness—but also chaos

Cats are naturally clean, barring any health or disability issues. They don't need to be bathed like dogs, and oddly their fur tends to smell really good. But they also want you to keep their litter box clean and will find ways to let you know if you are falling short on that front.

Oh, and they also like to make messes for fun, like total hypocrites.

"Keep the litterbox clean. They don't like it dirty. Cats like cleaniness."

"If you keep the litter box clean, most cats (of course, there are always exceptions) will vastly prefer that to any other location."

"If you don't keep their litter box in pristine, shiny, brand new condition, they'll just shit on the floor right in front of it."

"They don’t need to be bathed. They are self cleaning!"

"If you leave a glass of water unattended, that glass will be in a broken puddle on the floor when you come back."

"Mine would always wait for me to come back in view, then look me in the eye as she knocked the glass onto the floor."

Cats can be taken out by a bouquet

This one may come a surprise to many people, but some plants, especially certain flowers, are highly toxic to cats. And some of them can't help but chew on plants, which makes displaying flowers in your home a challenge. So expect a lot of "Is XYZ plant toxic to cats?" Google searches.

"Many ordinary house plants can kill your cat. Same with bouquets of flowers. Lilies are a big one but there are lots of others. Check all existing plants in your house before the cat comes home, don’t let new plants in without checking them."

"If you have houseplants, be prepared to part with any that are toxic to the cat. Some will take the risk, but the cats welfare is higher priority than you liking interior decor - which goes for anything breakable or edible also."

"Lilies are the real danger. Some lily-like flowers, such as alstroemeria (Peruvian lily), are not true lilies, so they are not as problematic. But true lilies can cause kidney failure in cats."

cat with flowers Some flowers can be deadly for cats.Photo credit: Canva

"My coworkers cat is in end stage renal failure from being near lilies."

"Plants can be a big risk; especially lily’s, but many common house plants are toxic."

Cats hide their suffering

Cat communicate in all kinds of way—meowing, purring, growling, hissing, ekekekek-ing and more—but they don't tend to let you know when they're in pain or discomfort. Stoic little buggers, so regular vet checkups and watching for subtle behavioral changes are really important.

"They are really good at hiding symptoms. Make sure to get them checked regularly. If the cat starts showing symptoms of a disease, it's probably already too late to fix."

"They do not let you know when something is wrong with them…or, I should say, they do in extremely subtle ways.

Dogs usually make it pretty obvious when something isn’t right with them. With cats; if you’re not paying attention - you won’t know until it’s bad."

"Sometimes 'behavioral' issues like hiding/going to the bathroom outside the litter box are sign of health issues!"

Cats need their claws

Some people declaw cats to try to save their furniture, but it's not a harmless procedure. Major vet organizations recommend against it, providing alternatives for discouraging problematic clawing behavior.

"Do not declaw your cat. Ever. That's horribly painful and is the equivalent of cutting off the first joint of all your fingers."

"If you intend on declawing a cat, do NOT get a cat."

"This so much. A friend of mine was thinking of getting her 1 year old kitten declawed and I had to tell her what they do and she was appalled. She has since trained him to use his scratching post and not her couch and she occasionally trims them or has the vet do it."

orange kitten having claws trimmed Trimming, yes. Declawing, no. Photo credit: Canva

"Trim your little kitten's claws regularly, even if all you take off is a hairsbreadth. Gets them used to having their paws handled that way."

Cats often do better in pairs

Cats can be solitary, but they often prefer to have furry friends of their own. Paired cats will often play together, groom one another and provide an outlet for their "zoomy" energy.

"They typically do well in pairs! People don’t often think they need companionship but they do."

"Consider getting two. Hear me out. As kittens, two are far less work for the human because they can play with and entertain each other, and they will naturally teach each other boundaries like how to not bite or scratch too hard. As adults, I would not say it’s a huge increase in work or cost as far as litter box and food goes.

Cats are naturally very social animals, despite pop culture representing otherwise. Some cats choose to be solitary, some cats have simply adapted to solitude because they have never had a friend. Two cats are truly better than one."

Cats should be indoors

People have differing opinions on this one, but it's generally recommended that cats be kept indoors for their own well-being as well as the safety of wildlife. Cats are predators pose a danger to bird populations especially.

"Please consider making your cat an indoor cat. Outdoor cats have a higher death rate than indoor cats, which is pretty self explanatory as there is a much higher rate of traffic accidents, attacks by other animals, getting lost/stuck places. It’s not fair on your cat, bordering on neglect, to just let it run around unsupervised outside all day.

The other thing to say about outdoor cats is how devastating they are for the local ecology. They hunt for fun, and each cat will be responsible for the deaths of probably hundreds of small birds, rodents, insects and lizards every year. Studies have shown that domestic cats have been directly responsible for the extinction of many species.

Outdoor cats are not a good idea for us, you, and them…"

"One important thing to remember is that cats that live exclusively indoors are healthier and live longer. Cats that roam are at risk of being killed by cars and dogs, and injured by getting into fights with other cats, or contracting illnesses from other cats (feline AIDS). Infection from another cats claws in a fight can lead to your cat being maimed or even dying. Roaming cats also kill a huge amount of wildlife, and it's estimated that roaming pet cats are responsible for the deaths of a billion native species in Australia every year."

"Keep your cat indoors. Cats that roam have an average life expectancy of 2-5 years due to cars, dogs, poisons, other cats, weather, wild animals, disease.... Indoor cats can live 15-20 years, depending on how dedicated their owner is to regular vaccinations and checkups, quality food and mental, social and physical stimulation."

cat on a person's lap Cats can be sweet companions.Photo credit: Canva

Cats are a commitment

Indoor cat live a long time, so if you're starting with a kitten, be prepared for the long haul. But also, be prepared to be attached to your kitty and miss them dearly when they're gone.

"It’s a commitment of 12-20 years. Make sure you are:

Not allergic
Financially able to provide food and medical care (I recommend getting pet insurance, its saved my cats lives several times)
Allowed to have pets where you live."

"It can be a 15 - to 20-year commitment. They are also the best companion ever."

"Yeah, nobody told me when I was 19 that this cat would be alive when I was 40!"

"And at the end you'll wish it was longer."

"Your cat(s) will become very important to you so make sure you’re ready for some emotional attachment because even when they piss you off, they are now your master and you must provide them the attention and love they require, whatever that entails."

That's basically cat ownership wrapped up in a nutshell.

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Levi Strauss Foundation

The Levi Strauss Foundation advances the human rights and well-being of underserved people in places where the company has a business presence

Modern Families

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends

True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Education

How to keep your mouth shut in conversations when you know you should really stay quiet

Most people never regret just staying silent.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

via Canva/Photos

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.

argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

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Parenting

Boomer grandparents often forget what it's like having young kids. Millennials call it 'gramnesia.'

"Gramnesia" combines the words "grandparent" and "amnesia".

gramnesia, millennial, millennial parents, boomers, boomer parents, boomer grandparents, boomer grandparenting

@millennialmomtherapist/Instagram, Photo credit: Canva

Millennials coined the term "gramnesia" for Boomer grandparents who have forgotten what it's like raising kids.

Becoming a grandparent is the dream for many parents who've raised their children into adulthood. After all, there are few things sweeter than getting to spend time with grandkids.

But many Millennial parents have had many bones to pick with their Boomer parents about their grandparenting skills (or lack thereof). Recently, Millennials have been calling out Boomer grandparents for a number of questionable grandparenting behaviors: from excessive gift giving to completely disappearing.

And its led one Millennial mom to coin the term "gramnesia" when describing her Boomer parents as grandparents.

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What is "gramnesia"?

“Gramnesia,” which combines the words “grandparent” and “amnesia,” has been popping up on Reddit discussions for a while now, though the coiner of the term seems unknown. But only recently has it been really gaining traction.

Back in June of 2024, Maryland-based therapist and mom Allie McQuaid, really brought “gramnesia” to the forefront of the conversation when she made an Instagram video all about it.

“I just heard this term called ‘gramnesia’ when grandparents forget what it’s really like having young kids and I can’t stop thinking about how accurate it is,” she said in the clip.

In her caption, McQuaid shared how so many of her clients would get “slammed” by their parents about how different (i.e. “easier”) raising kids was for them whenever they brought their own children around.

These hyperbolic memories are, as McQuaid put it, so “ridiculous” that they've clearly “forgot[ten] what it was really like in those early years of parenthood.”

@selahvictor
Millennial Moms have you experienced this?! I swear every time I ask my Mom about a parenting struggle, she's like "what are you talking about?" SHE HAS GRAMNESIA😂😂Disclaimer: my Mom had 8 kids, so maybe she just was way more of an expert than me😜Also if you made it to the end, this is probably why it was easier for that generation too (and why I'm a great sleeper!)😂 #boomers #millenialmom #millennial #boomermom #parentinghelp #momof8 #selahvictor #lamom #gramnesia

Examples of “gramnesia” statements

“You never had tantrums when you were a kid.”

“I potty trained you before you were one.”

“You were always happy to eat whatever we fed you.”

“You were spanked and turned out fine!”

Clearly, McQuaid’s video struck a chord, because it wasn’t long before people begin chiming in with their own stories of gramnesia:

“My MIL, over the years, loved to act like her children were perfect growing up. I love to tell the stories of her son (my hubby) getting into all kinds of trouble as a kid - oh the shock.”

“*Baby makes any kind of noise* Grandma: "Oh they must be teething!" Me : "Umm she's 4 months old, She isn't teething yet - just has feelings and is you know - A BABY" grandma: ‘well my kids had all their teeth by 4 months’ 😐🤨”

“5 months old and not sleeping through the night? Did you try rice cereal? Baby not walking ? Rice cereal. Baby not in college yet? Have you tried rice cereal?”

“Ugh my dad literally just said this to me last week… ‘I don’t remember you guys having this many tantrums’… 🙄 right after my boys were upset.”

gramnesia, boomer grandparent, boomer grandparents, grandkids, grandparenting Some Boomer grandparents are being called out for "gramnesia".Photo credit: Canva

Why "gramnesia" exists in the first place

One is that it could simply be the natural tendency to have a cognitive bias which puts past experiences in a more positive light than they actually were, aka having “euphoric recall.” As she told Huffpost, we tend to have a “foggier memory of how things truly were” as we get older, “especially if the experience we had was particularly difficult or even traumatic.”

Plus, the first few years of parenthood are often such a blur anyway. McQuaid herself admitted that ”I even have a hard time remembering the first year of motherhood, and that was only four years ago.”

In addition, McQuaid theorized that gramnesia exists because previous generations “were not given space to express emotions or indicate that they were struggling to adjust to motherhood.” Honestly, a sound hypothesis.

How to confront Boomer parents about "gramnesia"

“Check your capacity if you have the space or energy to even consider bringing up your frustration with your parents,” she told Huffpost. “You are likely in the throes of parenting right now, and maybe all you can do is smile and nod after hearing for the 100th time how ‘you were never like this.’”

However, if you are determined to bring it up and set the record straight, McQuaid suggests to actually keep it centered around you and how the situation makes you feel, rather than combating their memories. So, instead of saying, “That’s NOT how it happened!” try something like, “When you said that I never did X when I was Y’s age, it makes me question how well I’m doing as a parent.” Probably easier said than done, to be sure.

And while this sore spot might never come to a full resolution for a lot of millennial parents, at least take some solace in knowing that you’re not crazy, nor are you alone.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Pop Culture

James Van Der Beek's realization about his identity after cancer has people pondering

"I had to look my own mortality in the eye," said the Dawson's Creek alum. "I had to come nose to nose with death."

Photo credits: SANSIERRASTUDIO (left) Super Festivals from Ft. Lauderdale, USA (right)

James Van Der Beek in 2010 and 2023

There's nothing like a brush with death to make you reflect on your life. It's so easy for all of us to get caught up in the day-to-day details of living and not take the time to ponder the deeper elements of existence, from the nature of the universe to the meaning of life to our own individual role in the big picture.

Existential questions can sometimes feel overwhelming, but actor James Van Der Beek shared a thoughtful 48th birthday message with his own life reflection after facing cancer, and it distills a lot of the angst of those questions into a simple yet profound answer that's hitting home with people.

Van Der Beek, who starred in the millennial favorite Dawson's Creek, announced he'd been diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer in 2024 at age 47. He and his wife, Kimberly, have six children, and in a video shared on social media, Van Der Beek shared the progression from his somewhat unfulfilling identity as an actor to "the ultimate" identity as a husband and father prior to his cancer diagnosis.

"I could define myself as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we're so lucky to live on," he said. "And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition of the question, 'Who am I? What am I?'"

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"And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye," he continued. "I had to come nose to nose with death. And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who is helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn't working. I couldn't even be a steward of the land because at times I was too weak to prune all the trees during the window that you're supposed to prune them."

He found himself facing the question: "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment, with cancer, what am I?"

So often we define ourselves by our roles in life or by what we do, but what if those things change? Who are we when it's just us, alone, with nothing external to anchor us to a particular identity?

"And I meditated and the answer came through," Van Der Beek shared. "I am worthy of God's love, simply because I exist. And if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you."

I offer that to you however it sits in your consciousness. However it resonates, run with it," he said. "And if the word God trips you up, I certainly don't know or claim to know what God is or explain God. My efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me. But if it's a trigger or if it feels too religious you can take the word 'God' out and your mantra can simply be 'I am worthy of love.' Because you are."

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Van Der Beek's sincere, warm delivery and universal message of love and worth hit home for a lot of people. Fellow celebrities and fans alike praised and thanked him for it:

"Happy birthday brother. This was absolutely beautiful 💜🙏🏻💜," wrote singer Chris Daughtry.

"You’re a gift to this earth and I’m grateful to know you even if it’s just through IG. Greatly admire the graceful way you share and happy you made it around the Sun again," wrote New Kids on the Block's Joey McIntyre.

The Sopranos' Jamie-Lynn Sigler wrote, "That is it James. That is it. And you my friend are love. A steward of love. A teacher of love !❤️. We love you !!"

"I watched this with Bodhi with tears in our eyes and Bodhi said 'that was really touching' thanks for being love James and sharing that with everyone, ❤️" added actor Teresa Palmer.

Battlestar Galactica reboot's Katee Sackhoff wrote, "Thank you for your vulnerability and wisdom ❤️ Amen!'

"You are such a special soul. You are pure love my friend," added actor Nikki Reed. "Worthy of it all… hoping to hug all of you soon. Happy birthday❤️❤️❤️"

Some people took issue with Van Der Beek saying people could remove the word "God" from the message if they wanted to, but the reality is that not everyone has positive feelings about God or religion, and some have even been deeply hurt by people weaponizing them. Van Der Beek making a message of love more universal so that everyone can take it in and benefit from it without barriers or hang-ups is part of what makes it so beautiful. He was able to express his own religious/spiritual experience without shying away from the terminology that was true for him, while also making sure that his message was accessible to everyone regardless of faith or belief.

Perhaps we can all take a lesson from Van Der Beek's sincere, open, and balanced approach as well.

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Parenting

Millennial shares the lies that every kid's parents told them in the '90s

"Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

1990s kids, 1990s parents, lies, '90s nostalgia, old wives tale, '90s kid

via 90sKid4lyfe/TikTok (used with permission)

90sKidforLife shares 10 lies everyone's parents told in the era.

Children believe everything their parents tell them. So, when parents lie to prevent their kids to stop them from doing something dumb, the untruth can take on a life of its own. The lie can get passed on from generation to generation until it becomes a zombie lie that has a life of its own. In 2024, a man named Justin, known as 90sKid4Lyfe on TikTok and Instagram, put together a list of 10 lies parents told their kids in the ‘90s, and the Gen X kids in the comments thought it was spot on.

“Why was I told EVERY ONE of these?” one commenter, wrote. “I heard all of these plus the classic ‘If you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that,’” another added. After just four days of being posted, the video had been viewed upwards of 250,000 times.

@90skid4lyfe
Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

1. "You can't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth."

2. "If you pee in the pool, it's gonna turn blue."

3. "Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

4. "If you eat those watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach."

5. "Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

6. "I told you we can't drive with the interior light on. ... It's illegal."

7. "Sitting that close to the TV is going to ruin your vision."

8. "If you keep cracking your knuckles, you're gonna get arthritis."

8. "You just ate, you gotta wait 30 minutes before you can swim."

10. "If you get a tattoo, you won't find a job."

'90s kids, '80s kids, parents, white lies, tattoo, jobs A woman gets a tattoo.Canva Photos

Eight more lies that parents told their kids in the '90s

Justin's video was also a hit on Reddit, where many commenters had heard the same lies growing up. However, there were a few more they remembered hearing as kids back in the day. Commenters added eight more items to his list of 10 things that parents lied to their kids about in the '90s. Here are some great ones Justin could use to create a follow-up video:

"When the ice cream man is playing music, that means he’s all sold out."

"You'll never make any money messing around with that computer."

'90s kids, '80s kids, parents, white lies, kids, parenting Boy playing on the computer.Canva Photos

"Dusty went to live on a farm."

"You'll go to jail if you take the mattress tag off."

"My in-laws told my husband (as a child) not to flip the light switch on and off because he would start a fire in the wall that would burn down the house."

"I was also always told that if I played with the campfire, I would wet the bed that night."

"Green potato chips are poisonous, and eating raw hot dogs gives you cancer."

"My mom told me I couldn’t put on the skin transfer tattoo that came with my chewing gum because the tattoo had drugs in it."

This post originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Young people share their petty 'boomer' complaints, proving old folks can be right

Everyone, young and old, has had it with QR codes.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors

via Tim Doefler/Unsplash

Boomers weren't wrong about everything. Here are 16 complaints even young people agree with.

Baby boomers often find themselves the butt of the joke these days. Deserved or not, they have to absorb some serious criticism from Gen Xers down to Gen Alpha kids. Notoriously, the generation takes heat from younger generations who think that their me-first mentality helped create a world where the climate is getting warmer, the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer and people born in the ‘40s and ‘50s still rule the modern workplace. They're also famous for being crotchety, cranky, and pessimistic about the way the world is going.

And in that, they're not always wrong. Many boomers would probably stand up and cheer if they read a list of tweets inspired by a since-deleted discussion on X that posted the question, “What is the most boomer complaint you have?”

The debate was embraced by younger people and received over 123 million views and spawned similar discourses all across social media.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors Grumpy boomers aren't wrong about everything. Photo by Evgeniy Kozlov on Unsplash

Even though boomers are frequently in the hot seat these days, just about everyone can agree that they’re right about many things that get under younger people’s skin, too. One of the recurring themes of the post was that people can’t stand the fact that we are overly dependent on technology, and often, instead of making things more accessible, it makes them more frustrating.

Here are 16 of the best ‘boomer complaints’ that younger people have, too.

People had a lot of thoughts on the state of tipping culture.

"Tipping culture has gotten out of hand," one user wrote.

The discussion and sentiment continued over on Reddit, where one user joked: "Do you want to tip 20% for this comment?"

- YouTube www.youtube.com

They also can’t stand the idea that technology has complicated things unnecessarily.

One Redditor wrote simply, "I miss buttons."

"And cords. Can’t I just connect things like the old days??" someone added.

Another observed how annoying it is to "sign up" for every single thing. "Don’t make me have an account for everything."

"This more broadly is turning into one of my largest complaints about living ... Too many apps, too many accounts, too many ads, too many notifications, too many questions, too many email lists," someone responded.

And don't even get them started on AI.

"I. WANT. TO. TALK. TO. AN. AGENT!!!!!! DON’T. WANT. YOUR. [&$^@&*#]. AI. CUSTOMER. SUPPORT!!!!!!!" a Redditor fumed.

Some were frustrated enough to find ways to hack the system. "My hack that I find works on the majority of these systems is to mumble nonsense when asked 'what can i help you with today?', the system usually asks to clarify a couple of times and then will get you an agent as it cannot understand your request."

Also—what happened to adult clothes?

"Adults shouldn't dress like children. Jordans, Yeezys, 'slides', etc." someone added.

Whatever happened to paying for something once and then owning it?

Or being able to own physical media so that you don’t have to pay every time you watch your favorite movie?

"I wanna go back to blue-rays and DVDs and actually own the content I like. Fk streaming, yes to physical media!"

"Why does everything good require a subscription"

"I am absolutely not paying a monthly subscription to use your shitty app," a Reddit user wrote.

Moving on to food complaints.

When did we all decide that almost every chip has to be kettle-cooked and made for people with cobalt teeth? Enjoying a snack shouldn't result in a $5,000 dental bill.

"potato chips are too expensive and too hard these days" wrote someone on X.

Oh, and the new high-tech food menus drive everyone nuts, too:

"Please don't make me scan a QR code for the menu," a Reddit user added.

"I don't want to use a QR code to see a menu or store hours, give me a paper menu," an X user agreed.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors Even the young people can't stand QR codes. Photo by Albert Hu on Unsplash

Remember when coffee was a quarter? Boomers do.

These days, it's common to spend $6 or $7 PLUS on a cup of Joe.

"I remember when coffee wasn’t the cost of a meal," an X user reminisced.

And it's not just coffee. Even the price of a McDonald's cheeseburger has nearly doubled in the last ten years. We're all cranky about it.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors Everything, even fast food, has gotten out of control expensive. Photo by Hexandcube on Unsplash

We might label boomers as the cranky generation, but eventually, Gen Xers, millennials and, yes, even Gen Zers will be right behind them, complaining about "kids these days" and why things were so much better "in my day." Tis the circle of life. One the bright side though, they'll at least be better at using technology.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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