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Joy

Someone asked what they should know about having a cat. Thousands of people offered input.

There's so much more we know about cats now than previous generations did.

gray cat with chin being scratched by a person's finger

Cat ownership is a delightful but serious commitment.

Anyone who's had a cat knows how bringing a feline friend into your life makes a huge impact in both positive and not-so-positive ways. Our pet cats might bring us great delight, but they also come with some quirks, oddities and other things people who are thinking about getting a cat should prepare for.

That's why when someone asked, "What does one need to know before getting a cat?" on Reddit, thousands of cat owners chimed in with information and advice.

In generations past, cat were seen as largely self-sufficient. That's still somewhat true in comparison to dogs, but we've learned a lot more about cats that has changed (and improved) the way cat owners care for their kitties.

Here are the main things people say those considering getting a cat should know before committing:


Cats come as they are

People often joke about how their cats are oddballs, but it's a universal truth. Cats are quirky. If you've never had a cat and think they don't have much personality, you're entirely mistaken.

"Every cat has its own personality. It might not match your expectation."

"Every cat is at least a bit of a psychopath."

"Cats are the best pets for people with control issues... Because nothing is going to give you non stop lessons in something you can't control like a cat."

"That their character is complete luck of the draw. You might get one who really enjoys humans...or one who hates them. Or one who only wants to be near them but not touched. Or one that will crawl on your lap every change it gets. You do not know what kind of cat you'll get. If you're willing to take that gamble....go ahead."

"Cats have much stronger personalities than dogs do and often times can't be trained out of that personality the way dogs can. If you get a kitten, it's the luck of the draw whether you get a cat that's very cuddly and affectionate or one that's standoffish and doesn't like to be pet. Even two cats who are raised identically together can be wildly different in how receptive they are to people. If you have a specific idea of what you want out of a cat, such as if you like a lap cat who likes to go to bed with you, you should look into rescuing adult cats who already have their personalities developed."

Kittens choose violence

If you think kittens are cute and cuddly, you couldn't be more right. But also, they have razor blades on their feet and they will tear your extremities apart with them.

"As babies they sometimes like violence."

kittens playingKittens are cute, but their tiny claws and teeth are SHARP.Photo credit: Canva

"Yeah, they start off cute and then bam—you're covered in scratches, and it’s all because the sock looked at them wrong."

"They come with factory installed murder paws."

"They all like violence. You can never anticipate when they will choose violence."

"Getting a second kitten will help with this!! They can be violent with each other and teach each other boundaries, rather than having one lonely violent kitten constantly slicing up your hands and feet."

Cats like routine

For creatures who seem so aloof, cats are surprisingly very routine-oriented and don't like change much. Moving around furniture, going out of town or changing their feeding schedule can throw them off and cause stress.

"Cats are big fans of routines. They know when breakfast/dinner is, when playtime is and when you get home. If their routine is disrupted and these things happen sooner or later than they’re used to, they may get upset.

They’re also not fans of change in their environment. A new person or pet moving in, furniture being rearranged, new food, new litter, etc. can all unsettle a cat, make them feel unsafe and drive them to hide."

"Don't make abrupt changes. It is recommended that all changes should be subtle and in little steps. If you're going to move its bowl, or the litter box, it is advised to do it slowly. They don't react well to abrupt changes. Moving to another house or city can be really traumatic, leaving them stressed out for months."

cat in a boxChanges like moving can be hard on cats.Photo credit: Canva

Cats like cleanliness—but also chaos

Cats are naturally clean, barring any health or disability issues. They don't need to be bathed like dogs, and oddly their fur tends to smell really good. But they also want you to keep their litter box clean and will find ways to let you know if you are falling short on that front.

Oh, and they also like to make messes for fun, like total hypocrites.

"Keep the litterbox clean. They don't like it dirty. Cats like cleaniness."

"If you keep the litter box clean, most cats (of course, there are always exceptions) will vastly prefer that to any other location."

"If you don't keep their litter box in pristine, shiny, brand new condition, they'll just shit on the floor right in front of it."

"They don’t need to be bathed. They are self cleaning!"

"If you leave a glass of water unattended, that glass will be in a broken puddle on the floor when you come back."

"Mine would always wait for me to come back in view, then look me in the eye as she knocked the glass onto the floor."

Cats can be taken out by a bouquet

This one may come a surprise to many people, but some plants, especially certain flowers, are highly toxic to cats. And some of them can't help but chew on plants, which makes displaying flowers in your home a challenge. So expect a lot of "Is XYZ plant toxic to cats?" Google searches.

"Many ordinary house plants can kill your cat. Same with bouquets of flowers. Lilies are a big one but there are lots of others. Check all existing plants in your house before the cat comes home, don’t let new plants in without checking them."

"If you have houseplants, be prepared to part with any that are toxic to the cat. Some will take the risk, but the cats welfare is higher priority than you liking interior decor - which goes for anything breakable or edible also."

"Lilies are the real danger. Some lily-like flowers, such as alstroemeria (Peruvian lily), are not true lilies, so they are not as problematic. But true lilies can cause kidney failure in cats."

cat with flowersSome flowers can be deadly for cats.Photo credit: Canva

"My coworkers cat is in end stage renal failure from being near lilies."

"Plants can be a big risk; especially lily’s, but many common house plants are toxic."

Cats hide their suffering

Cat communicate in all kinds of way—meowing, purring, growling, hissing, ekekekek-ing and more—but they don't tend to let you know when they're in pain or discomfort. Stoic little buggers, so regular vet checkups and watching for subtle behavioral changes are really important.

"They are really good at hiding symptoms. Make sure to get them checked regularly. If the cat starts showing symptoms of a disease, it's probably already too late to fix."

"They do not let you know when something is wrong with them…or, I should say, they do in extremely subtle ways.

Dogs usually make it pretty obvious when something isn’t right with them. With cats; if you’re not paying attention - you won’t know until it’s bad."

"Sometimes 'behavioral' issues like hiding/going to the bathroom outside the litter box are sign of health issues!"

Cats need their claws

Some people declaw cats to try to save their furniture, but it's not a harmless procedure. Major vet organizations recommend against it, providing alternatives for discouraging problematic clawing behavior.

"Do not declaw your cat. Ever. That's horribly painful and is the equivalent of cutting off the first joint of all your fingers."

"If you intend on declawing a cat, do NOT get a cat."

"This so much. A friend of mine was thinking of getting her 1 year old kitten declawed and I had to tell her what they do and she was appalled. She has since trained him to use his scratching post and not her couch and she occasionally trims them or has the vet do it."

orange kitten having claws trimmedTrimming, yes. Declawing, no. Photo credit: Canva

"Trim your little kitten's claws regularly, even if all you take off is a hairsbreadth. Gets them used to having their paws handled that way."

Cats often do better in pairs

Cats can be solitary, but they often prefer to have furry friends of their own. Paired cats will often play together, groom one another and provide an outlet for their "zoomy" energy.

"They typically do well in pairs! People don’t often think they need companionship but they do."

"Consider getting two. Hear me out. As kittens, two are far less work for the human because they can play with and entertain each other, and they will naturally teach each other boundaries like how to not bite or scratch too hard. As adults, I would not say it’s a huge increase in work or cost as far as litter box and food goes.

Cats are naturally very social animals, despite pop culture representing otherwise. Some cats choose to be solitary, some cats have simply adapted to solitude because they have never had a friend. Two cats are truly better than one."

Cats should be indoors

People have differing opinions on this one, but it's generally recommended that cats be kept indoors for their own well-being as well as the safety of wildlife. Cats are predators pose a danger to bird populations especially.
"Please consider making your cat an indoor cat. Outdoor cats have a higher death rate than indoor cats, which is pretty self explanatory as there is a much higher rate of traffic accidents, attacks by other animals, getting lost/stuck places. It’s not fair on your cat, bordering on neglect, to just let it run around unsupervised outside all day.

The other thing to say about outdoor cats is how devastating they are for the local ecology. They hunt for fun, and each cat will be responsible for the deaths of probably hundreds of small birds, rodents, insects and lizards every year. Studies have shown that domestic cats have been directly responsible for the extinction of many species.

Outdoor cats are not a good idea for us, you, and them…"

"One important thing to remember is that cats that live exclusively indoors are healthier and live longer. Cats that roam are at risk of being killed by cars and dogs, and injured by getting into fights with other cats, or contracting illnesses from other cats (feline AIDS). Infection from another cats claws in a fight can lead to your cat being maimed or even dying. Roaming cats also kill a huge amount of wildlife, and it's estimated that roaming pet cats are responsible for the deaths of a billion native species in Australia every year."

"Keep your cat indoors. Cats that roam have an average life expectancy of 2-5 years due to cars, dogs, poisons, other cats, weather, wild animals, disease.... Indoor cats can live 15-20 years, depending on how dedicated their owner is to regular vaccinations and checkups, quality food and mental, social and physical stimulation."

cat on a person's lapCats can be sweet companions.Photo credit: Canva

Cats are a commitment

Indoor cat live a long time, so if you're starting with a kitten, be prepared for the long haul. But also, be prepared to be attached to your kitty and miss them dearly when they're gone.

"It’s a commitment of 12-20 years. Make sure you are:

  1. Not allergic
  2. Financially able to provide food and medical care (I recommend getting pet insurance, its saved my cats lives several times)
  3. Allowed to have pets where you live."

"It can be a 15 - to 20-year commitment. They are also the best companion ever."

"Yeah, nobody told me when I was 19 that this cat would be alive when I was 40!"

"And at the end you'll wish it was longer."

"Your cat(s) will become very important to you so make sure you’re ready for some emotional attachment because even when they piss you off, they are now your master and you must provide them the attention and love they require, whatever that entails."

That's basically cat ownership wrapped up in a nutshell.


Peter Dinklage on "Game of Thrones?

When it comes to actors doing accents across the pond, some Americans are known for their great British accents, such as Natalie Portman ("The Other Boleyn Girl"), Robert Downey, Jr. ("Sherlock Homes"), and Meryl Streep ("The Iron Lady").

Some have taken a lot of heat for their cartoonish or just plain weird-sounding British accents, Dick Van Dyke ("Mary Poppins"), Kevin Costner ("Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves") and Keanu Reeves ("Bram Stoker's Dracula").

Some actors, such as Tom Hardy (“The Drop”) and Hugh Laurie (“House”), have American accents so good that people have no idea they are British.

Benedict Townsend, a London-based comedian and host of the “Scroll Deep” podcast, says there is one word that American actors playing characters with a British accent never get right. And no, it’s not the word “Schedule,” which British people pronounce the entire first 3 letters, and Americans boil down to 2. And it’s not “aluminum,” which British and American people seem to pronounce every stinking letter differently.

@benedicttown

The one word American actors aways get wrong when doing an English accent

What word do American actors always get wrong when they do British accents?

“There is one word that is a dead giveaway that an English character in a movie or a TV show is being played by an American. One word that always trips them up. And once you notice it, you can't stop noticing it,” Townsend says. “You would see this lot in ‘Game of Thrones’ and the word that would always trip them up was ‘daughter.’”

Townsend adds that when British people say “daughter,” they pronounce it like the word “door” or “door-tah.” Meanwhile, Americans, even when they are putting on a British accent, say it like “dah-ter.”

“So top tip if you are an actor trying to do an English accent, daughter like a door. Like you're opening a door,” Townsend says.



What word do British actors always get wrong when doing American accents?

Some American commenters returned the favor by sharing the word that British actors never get right when using American accents: “Anything.”

"I can always tell a Brit playing an American by the word anything. An American would say en-ee-thing. Brits say it ena-thing,” Dreaming_of_Gaea wrote. "The dead giveaway for English people playing Americans: ‘Anything.’ Brits always say ‘EH-nuh-thin,’” marliemagill added.

"I can always tell an actor is English playing an American when they say ‘anything.’ English people always say it like ‘enny-thin,’” mkmason wrote.



What is the cot-caught merger?

One commenter noted that the problem goes back to the cot-caught merger, when Americans in the western US and Canadians began to merge different sounds into one. People on the East Coast and in Britain pronounce them as different sounds.

“Depending on where you live, you might be thinking one of two things right now: Of course, ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound exactly the same! or There’s no way that ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound the same!” Laura McGrath writes at DoYouReadMe. “As a result, although the different spellings remain, the vowel sounds in the words cot/caught, nod/gnawed, stock/stalk are identical for some English speakers and not for others.”

American actors owe Townsend a debt of gratitude for pointing out the one thing that even the best can’t seem to get right. He should also give the commenters a tip of the cap for sharing the big word that British people have trouble with when doing an American accent. Now, if we could just get through to Ewan McGregor and tell him that even though he is fantastic in so many films, his American accent still needs a lot of work.

This article originally appeared last year.

Health

Philosopher shares the subtle giveaway that someone is 'not very smart'

When you see this trait, it's time to rethink your relationship.

A man pointing at someone.

Individuals and groups have used scapegoating to blame their problems on others since the term was first coined in The Old Testament and probably long before. We see it all the time in politics, where leaders blame specific groups or ideologies for their country’s failures. We also see it in personal relationships where families blame one person for everyone’s problems or workplaces make an employee the fall guy for a failed project.

In a viral TikTok video, philosopher Julian de Medeiros explains why scapegoating is a sign that someone is unintelligent. He begins by quoting one of the most powerful British union leaders in the first half of the 20th century, Ernest Bevin, who once said: “An unintelligent person is always looking for a scapegoat.”

What's a sign that someone is unintelligent?

“What he meant is that a sign that somebody is not very intelligent is that they always have to blame their problems on other people. Like, it's never something they've done; it's always somebody else's fault,” de Medeiros says in a video with over 230,000 views. “They can avoid accountability; they can avoid introspection and self-reflection, which means that they can avoid growth because it's always somebody else's fault. A smart person is introspective, self-critical, and wants to grow, but an unintelligent person blames other people.”

@julianphilosophy

Intelligent vs. unintelligent #quotes #life #intelligent #wisdom


It can be hard to come to grips with our failures in life, whether they are financial problems, relationship issues or fear of losing control. “There are things that we cannot bear to see about ourselves. ‘I really don’t want to be seen as vulnerable or stupid or weak or greedy,’” Deborah Stewart, a Jungian psychoanalyst, told The Washington Post. “I don’t have to deal with myself if I scapegoat if I blame. That’s the part that most people don’t really know — that they are trying to expel some of their very own feelings by putting them on others.”

People and groups that are made into scapegoats can be put into incredible danger or subject to public disgrace, whether it is the Jewish people during the Holocaust or Anne Boleyn during the reign of King Henry VIII, or Yoko Ono for the breakup of The Beatles.

The big problem with scapegoating.

Those who scapegoat others for their failures can be seen as unintelligent because they refuse to take responsibility for their actions or even recognize where they may have been wrong. When people point their fingers at others, they also ensure that they never learn from their problems and are bound to repeat them. Intelligent people have a growth mindset, and scapegoating is the exact opposite.

Further, when societies refuse to look at the real causes of their problems and instead blame them on scapegoats, they will fail to progress. However, it’s very easy for leaders to fall into the scapegoat trap because it prevents them from being responsible and appears to solve problems when they are actually taking the easy way out.

Ultimately, it comes down to a core question: do you want to deflect blame for your problems by scapegoating someone else, or do you want to accept responsibility and grow from your difficulties? Ironically, those who scapegoat may think it makes their lives easier. However, living a life making the same mistakes repeatedly is a lot harder than accepting responsibility.

@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

@oldmansrock/Instagram

Truly a once in a lifetime talent.

When we think of badass, alt rock icons of the 90s, few are as singular and unique as Dolores O’Riordan, who gave The Cranberries its signature sound, and who was once described as having"the voice of a saint trapped in a glass harp.”

It wasn’t just that O’Riordan flawlessly blended traditional Celtic singing techniques like lilting and keening into rock music (which in itself is an amazing feat) but that her performances never compromised emotional authenticity for the sake of aesthetics. The result, as any fan will tell you, was something both ethereal and raw all at the same time.

So it should probably be of no surprise that in this resurfaced clip, presumably from the late 90s, O’Riordan’s stunning cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “Go Your Own Way” is every bit as magical. As @oldmansrock, the account that posted the video, wrote, “the way that Dolores could challenge the pitch but still stay on key, that is the mark of an accomplished singer.

It sounds dissonant compared to the manufactured material of today, where every tone is perfect, but hers is oh so human, and so very Irish! It is beautiful!”

But don’t just take their word for it. Watch:

If this had you wanting to pull up a Cranberries playlist on your Spotify to listen to for the rest of the day, you're not alone. Down in the comments, the renewed love for O’’Riordan was palpable.

“What sits deep with me is that no one sounds like her. Her voice is unmistakable. Whatever her take on a song/lyric? It was authentically, soul-touching Dolores.

“She was unbelievably talented and the cranberries are criminally underrated.”

“Her Irish vocal sweep ups are amazing.”

“She was just brilliant!!! Incredibly talented as well as a lovely and kind human being. I love and miss her. I don't know how anyone can have a bad word to say about this. I thought it was brilliant, both her live cover and studio cover. I wish people weren't so stubborn. I can accept covers no problem if the singer is talented enough, and she most certainly is. ❤️”

“A keening Irish queen. Her voice will always stir me.”

“An actual once in a generation talent”

“Also a master of the microphone. She knows exactly where the sweet spot is for every note.”

“She could melt your heart with that voice, or completely blow you away. Missed dearly, but never forgotten ❤️”

This cover would go on to be a part to the Cranberries’ third album, To The Faithful Departed, which was released in 1996 and became the band’s highest-charting album on the US Billboard 200, and was praised for its darker tone as well as its themes of grief and loss.

After O’Riordan died from drowning due to alcohol intoxication in January 2018, the Cranberries would disband in 2019, but they released their final album, In the End, that year. It was comprised of some of O'Riordan's unfinished demo tapes.

While O’Riordan met the same tragic fate that befalls many artists, especially those in the music industry, her spirit lives on in her art. Because she put so much of herself into her craft, even bite-sized clips of her performances, many years later, inspire those who listen to it. That’s something worth celebrating.

By the way, you can catch a full video of the cover below.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Joy

A poet wrote about meeting her younger self for coffee and launched cathartic viral trend

Women are creating healing "I met my younger self for coffee" poems as they reflect on how far they've come.

If you could meet your younger self for coffee, what would you say?

Life is complex and our feelings about our lives even moreso, which is why we humans so often turn to art as a means of processing it all. Poetry in particular has the power to distill complexity into a beautifully simple form, allowing us to succinctly express feelings that are difficult to describe. As Robert Frost wrote, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words," and a skilled poet can help us all find words for our own thoughts and emotions.

A poem by Jennae Cecelia from her upcoming book "Deep in My Feels" has kicked off a viral wave of poetic expression as women reflect on how they've grown and changed since they were younger. Cecelia's poem begins, "i met my younger self for coffee at 10:15," and goes on to describe a lovely, compassionate interaction with her younger self, all while contrasting that younger self with the woman she has become.

People loved the poem so much they used it as inspiration for their own "meeting my younger self for coffee" writing exercises, and the various iterations, at once so personal yet universal, have taken TikTok and Instagram by storm. Some are just written on blank backgrounds as images. Others are videos with the poem overlaid and music in the background.

But what they share in common is the sentiment of wanting to let our younger selves know it was going to be okay. That life is hard but there are good things coming around the corner. That whatever she's feeling or going through now will someday just be a memory.

Some poems have come from women who are still young but fully adult now, speaking to their teen selves.

@jasbethany_

I’d do anything to talk to my 15 year old self 🥲 #nostalgia #coffee #youngerself

Others come from moms in the thick of parenting, reassuring their younger selves that their dreams of having a family have come true, while others show that they took a different path than they planned and it turned out fine.

@katrice_taylor

🤎 #imetmyoungerselfforcoffee #momtok #momsoftiktok #blackmomsoftiktok

The trend is moving people to tears, offering hope to people who are still in those uncertain younger self years, when the possibilities of life seem endless and yet so much feels impossible. Many are finding solace in seeing people's before and after stories, as they serve as a reminder that life is malleable, that the future isn't set in stone, that people can endure and overcome.

@puffy817

Why did this trend heal a little bit in me while I wrote it IB: @Jennae Cecelia Poetry #coffeewithmyyoungerself #parati

Many resonate with the message that whatever struggles we're dealing with now we likely won't be in the future. And, of course, there will always be new struggles we're dealing with but with age and experience we hopefully learn about our own strength to endure. We also hopefully still have dreams to catch.

Cecelia says she is glad that her poem has inspired so many people to create their own versions of it, adding a rightful request to be credited for her work. She shares that the poem is part of a new collection of poetry that she describes as "a dream come true." Her previous poetry books have been self-published, but for this book she landed a deal with a publisher and is thrilled by the idea of having her book available in bookstores and not just online.

"This book is personal" Cecelia says. "It’s a reflection of love, loss, growth, and all the emotions we’re sometimes afraid to name. It’s a reminder that vulnerability isn’t just okay—it’s necessary. Inside, you’ll find poems that sit with you in life’s highs and lows, including the one about, 'meeting your younger self for coffee'—a favorite in the collection."

You can find "Deep in My Feels" for pre-order on Amazon and you can learn more about Cecelia and her work at jennaececelia.com.