A woman zipping up her lips.
There are times to speak up, moments when it’s best to say nothing, and opportunities be very considerate in your response. But when you’re on the receiving end of a back-handed compliment, a foolish remark, or a coworker takes you down a peg, and your emotions are up, it can be hard to have a thoughtful response. Often, we say something we shouldn’t.
How is it that some folks fly off the handle and say things they’ll later regret, while others can stay calm and remove themselves from the situation or take the high ground? One way to be less impulsive with your words is to use the “name it to tame it” neuroscience hack, originally coined by author and psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel. When used properly, it allows you to step back from the moment and choose the best response in a challenging situation.
A man saying "be quiet."via Canva/Photos
How to use the ‘name it to tame it’ hack
When someone upsets you, the first thing to do is to go inside yourself and describe the emotion that you feel in your body. Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you afraid? Do you feel rejected? Are you disappointed? The moment you name the emotion, it will begin to subside and give you the emotional and mental room to respond to the person who caused the negative emotion, rather than impulsively reacting.
How to respond to a reactive emotion so you don’t fly off the handle:
Event happens:
1. Your body stiffens up
2. You feel an intense emotion
3. You examine the emotion and give it a name: “My body is telling me I am angry.”
4. You should feel the emotion beginning to subside
5. Choose your response instead of being impulsive
A woman zipping up her mouth.via Canva/Photos
Why does ‘name it to tame it’ work?
“Name it to tame it” works because, when we have a strong emotional reaction, our lizard brain kicks in, and we go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. The lizard brain is not known for giving thoughtful and strategic responses to challenging situations. When we name the emotion, our prefrontal cortex, or the thinking brain, kicks in. The thinking brain looks at the situation and says, “Alright, we don’t need to run or fight here. It's best to give a strategic response.”
When we tune into the negative emotions by naming them, they relax because they feel heard, like when a child has hurt their knee or a loved one has real concern and you gives them undivided attention. Once the emotions are named, they are tamed. Then, you are more likely to respond to the negative person with grace and speak from the best part of yourself.
Dr. Dan Siegel, who coined the phrase “Name it to tame it,” explains the brain science behind the technique in the video below. He does a great job of explaining how it allows us to transfer our thoughts from the downstairs brain (the lizard brain) to the upstairs brain (the thinking brain), so we can calm down and respond appropriately to the situation.
- YouTube www.youtube.com
Three women sit on a blanket in the park. 
People practicing on the driving range. via 
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Original Wonder Woman Lynda Carter becomes a superhero for the LGBTQ+ community
The actress recently defended the character as a gay icon.
Once a superhero, always a superhero.
For many, Lynda Carter is the definitive live action Wonder Woman. The actress first brought the comic book heroine to life in the '70s, and even makes an iconic cameo appearance in the modern-day films starring Gal Gadot. She’s got Wonder Woman action figures made in her likeness, for crying out loud.
All that to say, I think we can feel confident in dubbing Carter a Wonder Woman expert. She’s certainly poured a lot of heart and passion into the role over the years, and fans love her for it.
To kick off Pride Month for 2022, Carter tweeted a variant Wonder Woman comic book cover created by artist Paulina Ganucheau, which was released the previous year. The cover depicts the Amazon warrior smiling while brandishing her signature golden Lasso of Truth in front of a vibrant rainbow backdrop.
The sweet moment was cut rather short after someone commented, in all caps no less, that “Wonder Woman IS NOT A SUPER HERO FOR GAYS.”
In true Wonder Woman fashion, Carter was quick with a defensive comeback.
Carter replied, “You’re right. She’s a superhero for bisexuals!”
She attached a 2016 Polygon article where Greg Rucka, a major writer for the contemporary Wonder Woman comics, confirmed that Diana is, without a doubt, canonically queer. He added that considering the entire island of Themyscira where Diana lives was filled with only other Amazons for centuries upon centuries, “it makes no logical sense otherwise.”
Objectively, even the original conception of Wonder Woman had LGBTQ+ roots. When William Moulton Marston created her in 1941, she was inspired by both his wife Elizabeth and their polyamorous partner Olivia Byrne. Their story was depicted in the 2017 film “Professor Marston and the Wonder Women,” starring Luke Evans, Rebecca Hall and Bella Heathcote.
Carter later posted: 'I didn't write Wonder Woman, but if you want to argue that she is somehow not a queer or trans icon, then you're not paying attention.”
She also shared the the importance of keeping the character a queer icon so that others can be empowered to express themselves authentically. “Every time someone comes up to me and says that WW helped them while they were closeted, it reminds me how special the role is,” she wrote.
She then posted a photo from her Wonder Woman TV show days along with the caption: “Love seeing all the love from LGBTQ+ fans today! Now here’s one I’d like to call the ‘ready to fight your homophobic relatives’ pose. Just kidding. (Or am I)?”
This was followed by encouraging others to support LGBTQ organizations such as Trans Lifeline, the Sylvia Rivera Law Project and PFLAG, which is geared specifically toward parents and families.
You know what they say … not all heroes wear capes. But they do all fight for humanity in their own way. Carter might have retired her magical tiara, but she’s still a queen.