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'Lazy' mom of four shares a video of her incredibly messy home and parents love her for it

"It's not dirty, it's just messy."

messy house, mom tiktok, bri james
via themessymama4/TikTok

Bri James and her messy (not dirty) home.

It’s hard to keep your home clean when you have a child, but when you have four, unless you have a live-in maid, it’s completely impossible. There is no dishwasher fast enough to keep up with the dishes in the sink and no magical point where all four children have it together enough to put their toys away.

The problem is that if you take your eyes off the prize and let a day go by without cleaning up, you’re practically drowning in chaos.

TikTok user and stay-at-home mom Bri James (aka @themessymama4) did the unthinkable and let her home go four days without tidying up and shared the incredible mess with everyone on TikTok.


"I know I'm going to get roasted," she says in the clip, "but ... this is what happens when two really lazy adults have four kids and don't clean up after themselves."

The clip shows cutlery on the floor, empty packets everywhere, dishes piled a mile-high in the sink, and clothes and toys strewn everywhere. The house looks like the parents went away on a permanent vacation and left their kids to fend for themselves.

The video was praised by a lot of parents who are tired of seeing mommy influencers with spotless homes and children in matching linen outfits. Finally, there was a mom on TikTok they could relate to.

"I'd MUCH rather see you clean your realistic house than watch another blonde clean an already clean countertop," Meghan Sanders wrote.

TikTokker Its_not_that_serious put things in perfect perspective. "Dude, at the end of the day all of their fingers and toes are attached and feeling safe and loved you’re doing fine. Someday the house will be clean," they wrote.

"Having children is mentally and physically exhausting and you don’t always have the energy to clean every day," Rose added.

But not everyone appreciated Bri's slice of reality. Some people thought that her messiness was borderline neglectful and that she was setting a terrible example for her children.

"Set a good example for your kids. Make them help," carleebocciaa wrote.

"Without children = fine, your choice. With children (especially small ones) = completely unacceptable," ACZOgirly wrote.

Shortly after posting her first video, Bri got to work on the impossible task of cleaning up the entire house. Noticeably absent from the job were her spouse and four children. She appears to clean the entire place by herself.

She showed her cleaning prowess through a series of fast-motion videos.

@themessymama4

my butt does not look flattering in these Walmart lounge pants 🤦🏼‍♀️😅

Finally, at 9:30 p.m., Bri was done with most of the job, although she still had a bit of vacuuming to do and there were still some dishes in the sink. At the end of the job, she was exhausted. But she got the job done and that’s all that matters. It’s OK to let your house fall into disarray from time to time but eventually, you have to take care of business.

@themessymama4

I'm going to bed now. 🤣🥱😴

We’ll give TikTokker Sannon Martin the final word on this story because she hits the nail on the head. “Your home is exactly like mine,” she wrote. “Some days it’s a wreck and some days it looks amazing. That’s life. You’re doing great!”


This article originally appeared on 03.05.22

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How a warm bowl of Korean curry came to represent love and sacrifice

Food can mean so many things.

All images provided by Kat Chao

A photo of Kat and her mom, and a bowl of her mom's famous curry

True

Whether it’s the mac n’ cheese that reminds you of simpler times, or the exotic spiced chicken recipe you acquired from your travels, every meal tells a story.

This rings especially true for people whose families immigrate to different countries to start a new life. Immigrant parents often not only save every penny, but spend most of their time away working in order to build a future for their children. Each comfort meal they manage to provide their kids in the very few spare hours they have tells the story of love and sacrifice.

For Kat Chao, that meal was her mother’s Korean curry.

korean foodA photo of baby Kat and her mom and dad

Growing up, Kat’s mom worked weekends to support her family. But that didn’t stop her from waking up Saturday morning to dice up some beef and fresh veggies and throw them into a large pot so that Kat’s dad could heat it up and serve it with some rice to her and her brothers later.

Curry was a quick, easy and inexpensive way to feed a full house, but it served more than just practical purposes. As Kat would wake up to the enticing aroma, she was reminded that her mom was always taking care of her, even if she couldn’t physically be there.

koran curryYUM

As Kat grew a little older, her attitude towards her mother’s curry shifted. Instead of looking forward to it, she would “roll her eyes at it,” as is customary of the rebellious teen. Those less-than-positive feelings were only exacerbated by the media constantly labeling carbs, therefore rice, as “bad.” As a kid who struggled with weight, her comfort food became a source of discomfort.

But as an adult, and now a mom herself, Kat has reached a full circle moment.

korean recipes, albertsonsKat, all grown up with her own familiy

As she makes her own kids the exact same curry dish (okay, maybe a leaner cut of beef, and organic veggies…but otherwise exactly the same!) Kat finds a whole new appreciation for the recipe, knowing how hard her mom worked to even make it happen.

Kat was lucky to have grown up with a meal to look forward to each night. Other kids aren’t so lucky. 1 in 8 kids currently experience food insecurity in the United States. But there’s an opportunity to decrease those numbers.

For every O Organics product you purchase, the company will donate a meal to someone in need through the Albertsons Companies Foundation—for up to a total of 28 million meals.

Is there a dish from your childhood that you’ve longed to rekindle with? You could do like Kat does and give it an O Organic twist. Luckily, the O Organics brand has a wide array of affordable ingredients, so creating healthy swaps is easier than ever. Plus, you can provide nourishment to another family at the same time.

Just think—the next meal you prepare could make all the difference to someone else. If every meal tells a story, that’s certainly a story worth telling.

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