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In men, it’s Parkinson’s. In women, it’s hysteria.

In men, it’s Parkinson’s. In women, it’s hysteria.
via Columbia Social Work / Twitter

This article originally appeared on ProPublica. You can read it here.

Once it was called "hysterical" movement disorder, or simply "hysteria." Later it was labeled "psychogenic." Now it's a "functional disorder."

By any name, it's one of the most puzzling afflictions — and problematic diagnoses — in medicine. It often has the same symptoms, like uncontrollable shaking and difficulty walking, that characterize brain diseases like Parkinson's.

But the condition is caused by stress or trauma and often treated by psychotherapy. And, in a disparity that is drawing increased scrutiny, most of those deemed to suffer from it — as high as 80% in some studies — are women.

Whether someone has Parkinson's or a functional disorder can be difficult to determine. But the two labels result not only in different treatments but in different perceptions of the patient. A diagnosis of Parkinson's is likely to create sympathy, but a functional diagnosis can stigmatize patients and cast doubt on the legitimacy of their illness.


Four in 10 patients do not get better or are actually worse off after receiving such a diagnosis and find themselves in a "therapeutic wasteland," according to a 2017 review of the literature by academic experts.

"This is the crisis," said University of Cincinnati neurologist Alberto Espay, the author of guidelines on diagnosing functional movement disorders. "It shouldn't be stigmatized but it is. No. 1, patients are wondering if it is real. 'Does my doctor think I am crazy?' Secondly, doctors can approach it in a way that implies this is a waste of their time."

A study published last year in a leading neurological journal stoked the growing controversy. Of patients diagnosed with functional symptoms, 68% were women. This finding, the authors wrote, "suggests that female sex may be an independent risk factor for the development" of functional symptoms.

The study prompted a furious letter to the journal's editor from Dr. Laura Boylan, a New York City neurologist. She argued that the study's results might demonstrate instead that symptoms thought to be psychogenic were actually the result of Parkinson's, and that doctors were slow to identify the brain disease in women.

"Disparities in healthcare for women are well established," she wrote, adding, "Women commonly encounter dismissal in the medical context."

For Boylan, the issue was more than a professional debate. It was personal. She had been diagnosed with Parkinson's-like symptoms that her doctors, all top caregivers at some of the world's leading medical institutions, largely believed to be psychogenic or side effects of medication.

via PixaBay

Most of her doctors were men, but two were women. Boylan, herself a brilliant neurologist, disagreed vehemently with them. She attributed her problems to a physiological cause, a tiny cyst in her brain, and grew despondent when other neurologists doubted her theory. She gave up her medical practice, became housebound and contemplated suicide. Even today, her case remains a mystery.

The first sign that something was wrong came in 2008.

At the time, Boylan was busy with a successful career that included work as a teacher, researcher and clinician. She was an assistant professor of neurology at the New York University School of Medicine; the director of the behavioral neurology clinic for the VA in New York City; and an attending physician at a hospital in Pennsylvania.

She was married to another neurologist, Daniel Labovitz, who is a professor at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and practices at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx.

It was while driving at night on a Pennsylvania highway that Boylan experienced a vivid hallucination. She saw a cartoonish chipmunk on the steering wheel, smiling and waving at her. Another time, two blue men with red hats appeared on either side of her. She knew the images were not real, but she couldn't make them go away.

Her doctors at the time blamed the hallucinations on side effects of psychiatric medicine Boylan took for her long-diagnosed bipolar disorder. Her bipolar condition would later add another element of uncertainty to the debate over her Parkinson's-like symptoms.

Studies show that people with preexisting psychiatric disorders are more likely to develop Parkinson's — or have a functional disorder with similar symptoms. Boylan said she sees a psychiatrist for the bipolar disorder, but it's "just not a big deal in my life."

Over time, her health continued to worsen. In early 2011, during a tai chi class, she had difficulty balancing on her right leg. Later, she also noticed muscle twitching in her feet and legs.

Boylan was worried that some of her symptoms mirrored those found in patients with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS, a rare and degenerative neurologic disease that affects the ability of muscles to function. ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, was ruled out by a specialist, but an imaging scan performed as part of that exam revealed a small cyst on the front right side of her brain.

The location and type of cyst are considered rare. At the time, Boylan and the neurologist she consulted didn't believe the cyst was causing her movement problems and chalked it up as an "incidental" finding not to be concerned about.

In the fall of 2013, Boylan experienced a three-day bout of double vision that forced her to miss work. The episode was disturbing because it left her, for the first time, unable to perform her duties as a doctor.

About a week later, she went to see Janet Rucker, then a neuro-ophthalmologist at Mount Sinai Medical Center. Rucker diagnosed convergence insufficiency, a condition in which the eyes are unable to work together to focus on close by objects. Rucker thought it unlikely the brain cyst was causing the vision problem and believed it was more likely related to medication Boylan was taking, according to her notes.

via Bryan Jones

Boylan returned home unconvinced by Rucker's opinion. Her vision improved enough to allow her to research the condition herself. She said she found instances where levodopa, a medication used to treat Parkinson's that she had prescribed many times for her own patients, helped alleviate the vision problem.

She decided to take her treatment into her own hands and took levodopa she prescribed for herself. Boylan knew the decision to test her own theory was a direct challenge to Rucker's competence.

While legal, self-prescribing medication is considered an unsound practice by some in the medical establishment. Physicians who treat themselves risk removing the objectivity usually present in a doctor-patient relationship, which can lead to poor decisions.

Within an hour of taking the levodopa, Boylan's eyes converged and the vision problem cleared. That wasn't all. Involuntary tremors and twitches stopped. She later wrote that she "felt years younger" and "moved much better" immediately after taking the drug.

For Boylan, the experience with levodopa confirmed what she had come to suspect; that the cyst in her brain thought to be harmless was in fact causing her Parkinson's-like symptoms. (In Parkinson's, nerve cells in the brain that help control body movements break down or die.)

If she had a functional disorder, the drug should have no effect. She excitedly dashed off an email to Rucker reporting her success and attached a video showing her eyes working properly.

"That is a pretty impressive effect," Rucker replied. She wrote that she rarely recommended the drug for convergence insufficiency, but given Boylan's improvement, "perhaps I'll recommend it more often."

Rucker, however, didn't appear to think the cyst was responsible for Boylan's double vision, calling it the "least likely" of options, according to her notes of the case. More likely, she wrote, it was related to other medications Boylan was taking.

Boylan didn't learn about the contents of the medical notes from her visit until later. Boylan, who believed her recovery proved that the cyst was the origin of her double vision, was insulted.

"That I solved this problem with levodopa, documented it, and returned to work the next day might be taken as evidence of my skill rather than having a screw loose," she later wrote to Rucker, who declined comment for this story.

Levodopa is a potent drug used to control tremors and stiffness in Parkinson's patients. The development of the drug, and what it revealed about how the brain works, was an important breakthrough that won one of the researchers involved the Nobel Prize in medicine in 2000. But levodopa can also produce side effects that include involuntary movements, from tics to sudden, jerky body motions, different from those that it had alleviated in Boylan.

Boylan decided to continue taking the drug, but wanted another neurologist to help manage her situation. She chose Elan Louis, a neurologist who had been just ahead of her in the Columbia residency program. Boylan told him she was serving as her own neurologist and that her situation was "getting acutely worse."

via pixabay

The two doctors saw each other at the occasional reunion, but they were not close. Boylan largely knew of Louis by reputation. He is considered one of the leading experts on movement disorders and is the editor of Merritt's Textbook of Neurology, a standard clinical guide in the field.

He practiced at Columbia when Boylan first began seeing him in late 2013 but was recruited to Yale University in 2015 to serve as chief of the movement disorders division in the neurology department.

Louis had not treated a specialist in his own field before. The relationship proved challenging. Boylan has a combination of intelligence and passion that attracts devoted friends. Louis described Boylan as "super smart" and someone who was constantly digging into the medical literature to learn as much as she could about her symptoms and the cyst in her brain.

She could also be blunt and confrontational. Boylan was one of several people arrested a decade ago for refusing to leave a U.S. senator's office as part of a sit-in advocating for single-payer health care.

She was also an early proponent of limiting the perks that pharmaceutical companies give doctors to encourage them to prescribe their drugs, a stance that irked some colleagues but also won her admirers. Boylan was not hesitant to challenge her own doctors' assessments, as she had done with Rucker. With a mix of pride and contrition, she describes herself as a difficult patient.

In one email exchange in 2015, Boylan appeared miffed that Louis did not believe that a bout of heart palpitations and dizziness was related to her brain cyst. "I wish you'd responded earlier when you found my questions odd/unreasonable," Boylan chided Louis. "At present I know more about this area than you and yet seem crazier because of it."

At least 10% of the patients who seek help for movement disorders at the Yale clinic are determined to have a psychogenic, or functional condition, Louis said. At other neurology clinics, the number is as high as 20% and second only to headaches as the reason for seeking help.

To determine if a condition is functional, neurologists identify symptoms that don't match with physiological movement disorders. In Boylan's case, the cyst was on the right side of her brain, which meant it should only cause symptoms on the left side of her body. The right leg weakness she experienced at tai chi, for instance, didn't fit with this.

Then there are a series of tests that can help determine if movements are genuinely involuntary. One group of tests is designed to distract a patient. A patient with a left arm tremor, as was the case with Boylan, might be asked to extend that arm out and then use the hand on the other arm to tap out a sequence of numbers.

As the neurologist calls out for one tap, four taps, two taps and so on, he or she is watching to see if the tremor on the left side stops as the patient focuses on the tapping.

When Louis performed these tests on Boylan, she knew exactly what he was assessing. She administered the same tests to her own patients. To Boylan, the fact Louis was even doing the tests meant he had already concluded some of her symptoms were psychogenic. "I knew I was going to fail," she said later, adding that the tests are not always a valid indicator.

"I tried so hard to do things properly that it can look extreme." Louis observed that Boylan's tremor stopped when she was distracted. "If something is truly involuntary, it should persist whether someone is paying attention or not," Louis told me. He agreed with Boylan that the tests are not foolproof, but said that they are useful in evaluating a case.

In his initial assessment of Boylan, Louis referenced the brain cyst and possible medication-induced effects as well as the possibility that "something else is going on here." The difficulty, he noted, was "piecing it all together."

To help solve this puzzle, with Louis' encouragement, Boylan consulted two neurosurgeons.

The first, at Columbia Presbyterian, wrote the cyst might be playing a role in her tremors but warned surgery should only be considered as a "last resort." The second, at Mount Sinai, was skeptical the cyst was playing a role, writing, "It is difficult for me to pin the presence of this cystic lesion on her worsening symptoms."

After the appointments with the surgeons, Boylan returned to see Louis on Nov. 14, 2013. Louis told her he saw some "psychiatric overlay" in her symptoms and said there may be something "organic beneath a lot of overlay," according to his notes.

He estimated that perhaps 70% of her symptoms were psychiatric in nature. He doubted the brain cyst was causing her rapidly worsening symptoms. It "doesn't fit," he wrote. He noted Boylan "was not happy about this but seems to have accepted it during subsequent emails/phone calls."

Louis told me that Boylan's case was "very complicated" because some of her symptoms and the cyst in her brain were rare. "Her syndrome is difficult to neatly put in one box," he said. "That is why she has defied diagnosis and had a difficult time."

A psychogenic diagnosis, he said, is hard for patients because "there is a feeling with people that it is not real, it is all in our head and imaginary and undervalues and devalues what they are going through. No one wants that."

While Parkinson's is treated with medications such as levodopa, patients determined to have a functional or psychogenic condition are often prescribed psychological regimens such as cognitive behavioral therapy. Louis said he has worked successfully with a Columbia psychiatrist to treat functional patients.

"We have had patients unable to walk who were walking out two weeks later," he said. Louis said he discussed Boylan's case with her psychiatrist to share his evaluation of her situation and to coordinate medications. Her psychiatrist referred her to behavior therapy, Boylan said. "I did a round," she said. "It helped me tolerate problems but did not change them."

The more Boylan tried to convince others that the cyst was causing her problems, the more she felt she was viewed with suspicion. It became an obsession. Louis once remarked to Boylan that no one in the world knew as much about the square inch of brain where the cyst was located as she did.

Despite their clashes, Boylan respected Louis. When he delivered his diagnosis, it caused her to second-guess her theory about the cyst. She also believed that some of her doctors used her bipolar disorder to cast doubt on her complaints.

Her symptoms worsened and the stress overwhelmed her. On Dec. 9, she was admitted to the emergency room at St. Luke's Hospital with severely elevated blood pressure and stress-induced cardiomyopathy, a heart muscle disease that makes it harder to pump blood. When a cardiologist inquired if she was under stress, Boylan tearfully told her, "My doctors think I am hysterical."

As 2014 wore on, Boylan needed increased doses of levodopa to get the relief she first experienced when self-treating her double vision. It was a vicious circle. She needed the medicine to help with her with her lack of balance, which was causing her to fall, as well as her vision and left arm tremor. But the side effects from the medicine were severe.

On a Sunday afternoon in September 2014, Boylan stumbled out of a taxicab onto the sidewalk in front of the emergency room at NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center. A couple of ambulance workers noticed she was having difficulty and helped her into a wheelchair.

Boylan was gaunt. She had lost more than 30 pounds since the beginning of the year. In the preceding days she slept little. Her body was twisting up in uncomfortable and unusual positions, making it hard to walk.

Her head jerked and her knees pushed together as she bent forward. She was unable to control the movements. In a brief video taken after she was admitted to the hospital, Boylan leaned against a wall with her head slumped awkwardly to the side as she waited to use a bathroom.

To the doctors who attended to Boylan, her condition was disturbing. They knew her as an accomplished neurologist who trained and mentored a new generation of doctors. She was a familiar face at Columbia, having done her medical residency there in the late 1990s. On this day, Boylan appeared paranoid and agitated. She argued with doctors about medication and their assessment of her condition. She complained that her husband thought she was crazy.

Her case defied an easy diagnosis. "She is a quite complicated movement disorders patient," one of the treating physicians at Columbia noted.The attending neurologist at the hospital that weekend thought Boylan was suffering from "mild psychosis" with contributing factors that included fatigue and the side effects of medication.

The doctors noted Boylan recently received a distressing email about a former patient who was dying; the implication was that this was a possible source of a psychogenic effect. Louisa Gilbert, a friend of Boylan's, said that when she arrived at the hospital she found doctors treating Boylan as a "psych case."

Boylan left the hospital after one night. In the following weeks, her condition worsened. She stopped working and was largely homebound. Her diet was poor, consisting primarily of ice cream and grapefruit juice, and she continued to lose weight. She was again having trouble reading and developed severe writer's cramp that she attributed to the brain cyst.

Boylan grew dependent on others to take care of her, including Gilbert, whom she first met at boarding school. A professor of social work at Columbia University, Gilbert always admired Boylan for her resiliency. Boylan went through her last two years of medical school while a single parent. She never missed work. Now there were days when Gilbert would show up at Boylan's apartment and find her friend writhing on the floor, unable to get up.

"It was so bewildering," Gilbert said. "What the hell is going on?"

By December, Boylan was spending hours lying on the floor of her apartment while sipping orange juice to speed up the absorption of the levodopa she was taking to stave off muscle spasms. She was now separated from her husband; they would later divorce. Alone and unable to work, Boylan despaired and made plans for suicide. "I had and am still having emotional meltdown over this loss of profession/vocation/self-definition," she wrote in an email to her brother, Ross, in California.

Ross and Laura Boylan were the only children of a corporate lawyer and a homemaker. For most of their youth they lived in an apartment near the Metropolitan Museum of Art on Manhattan's Upper East Side. Their mother suffered from severe mental illness and was hospitalized a number of times. Their father was an alcoholic. The couple often argued. Laura was happiest when she was out of the apartment, and she often spent summers away from the city.

The Boylan siblings both attended boarding school at Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts, but rarely interacted there. Ross was two years older and each of them moved in their own circles. Laura returned to New York City to attend Barnard College. Ross went on to Harvard University and then moved permanently to the west coast.

In her December 2014 email to her brother, Boylan wrote "bad news" in the subject line. She said the brain cyst was causing "more and more problems." She shared that she gave up clinical practice because of "fatigue, stamina, vision and other problems." She said there was a "small possibility of neurosurgery" but she wasn't sure it was worth the risk, and she doubted any surgeon would take the chance anyway. She said her symptoms were getting progressively worse and there was no cure.

Ross Boylan responded with a short note that ended with a touch of optimism. "The future is not written," he wrote.

The email from his sister caught Ross Boylan off guard. "I thought she was doing OK," he said in an interview. "Then she sends me this email, oh by the way every single sphere of my life is collapsing." The doctors she consulted seemed to be uniform in their view that her brain cyst was irrelevant and that removing it would be pointless and probably dangerous, Ross Boylan said. "It's impossible to operate, and nothing could be done about it," he said. Most concerning, it seemed to him that the "fight had gone out" of his sister.

Ross Boylan is a research statistician at the University of California, San Francisco, and his department frequently works with doctors at the medical school there. Among all the specialists at the university, he figured there must be one who could help his sister. He didn't tell Laura that he was going to try to help. He was afraid she would tell him not to bother, and he didn't want to get her hopes up in the event his efforts failed.

On a webpage for the university neurology department, Boylan came across a group photo that included his boss. It turned out his boss had done some statistical work for the research team of neurosurgeon Michael Lawton. An introduction was made. Ross Boylan gave Lawton what information he had about his sister's condition, and within days Laura Boylan was in contact with the surgeon by phone and email.

"My hunch is that operating on the cyst will help and I am ready to proceed," Lawton wrote her. "You can appreciate that we surgeons like to be certain that our efforts are going to be curative, and in your case I can't be sure. Nonetheless, I think this operation will be safe and I am ready to move forward whenever you are."

Boylan decided to go ahead with the surgery and booked a flight to San Francisco.

Lawton told me that the cyst was located in an area of brain circuitry that is disturbed in Parkinson's patients and could be the cause of her movement disorders and double vision. "It fits," he said. "It's right where that kind of lesion would produce those symptoms." Nonetheless, he said he cautioned Boylan the procedure could be done perfectly with no complications yet have no therapeutic effect.

Louis said he wasn't certain if the surgery was a good idea. "I deferred to the surgeon," he said. "There was little margin of error, and that made it a very complex decision." Others close to Boylan were concerned about the speed in which the decision to operate was made and that Boylan decided to go ahead before even meeting with Lawton in person.

Boylan herself confessed in an email to a colleague days before the operation that she felt "in over my head" in arranging the surgery and was "beginning to think this is not a good idea."

via PixaBay

On Jan. 9, 2015, Lawton and his team performed a nearly five-hour craniotomy on Boylan in which part of the bone in her skull was removed to expose her brain. The cyst was drained and a piece cut out to prevent it from accumulating fluid in the future.

Boylan was worse off in the weeks after the surgery. The awkward, twisting movements persisted. She couldn't use her right arm. She didn't know if she would recuperate to a life worth living.

About a month after the surgery, Boylan saw neurologist Rebecca Gilbert at NYU Langone Medical Center. Boylan arrived for the appointment wearing an eye patch and an arm sling.

Gilbert's notes of the encounter make it clear she thought Boylan's symptoms, even after the surgery, might be psychogenic. A right side tremor was "inconsistent" and abnormal movements were "variable and erratic" and only "present during the formal exam."

In contrast, when "patient is telling her story, there are no abnormal involuntary movements." Gilbert wrote that she was "very concerned that at least part of this neurologic picture is psychogenic in nature."

By mid-March, just a month later, Boylan's condition improved significantly. On March 21, she sent an email to Lawton with the subject line "have turned a corner." She said her symptoms were improving and she was "back out and about in the world."

She told him he had "given me my life back." She also criticized those who questioned the wisdom of her decision to undergo the operation. "I confess that, in accord with my own pre-existing bias, some neurology pals have thought I must have found a cowboy who took a lucky long shot," Boylan wrote. "I correct them carefully in detail."

Ten days later, Boylan saw Gilbert for a follow up appointment. Gilbert wrote that Boylan "returns looking very well. She feels well neurologically and psychiatrically. She attributes her improvement to the surgery." Gilbert declined comment on Boylan's case.

By June, Boylan was back to work.

On a Sunday morning this spring, Boylan sits at a conference table in the neurology department at Bellevue Hospital in Manhattan, the country's oldest public hospital. The room is sparse save for a large, formal portrait of the former head of neurosurgery. The painting does not escape Boylan's notice. Like many of the leading figures in neurology, the former official is a white male.

Boylan, 57, is dressed casually in black pants and a flower-print blouse. A lanyard with a Bellevue identification tag hangs from her neck. On this morning, she is the attending neurologist, overseeing medical residents. In addition to Bellevue, Boylan does part-time stints at a hospital in Duluth, Minnesota, and a VA facility in Albany. She has regained the weight she lost when her illness was at its worst, as well as the mental sharpness that dulled during that time.

Across the table, a resident briefs her about a woman who arrived in the emergency room the day before. The exchange is thick with medical terms, but there is a clear point to the back and forth: They are trying to determine if the woman's symptoms are functional. The patient complained of a generalized burning sensation.

That's the type of vague complaint that could point to a psychogenic diagnosis. On the other hand, the resident said the patient reported having problems with her coordination, but not with her strength. People with functional disorders might also indicate they were weak, because they tend to have a wide array of complaints.

When the resident pulls up a scan of the woman's brain on a screen mounted on the wall, Boylan points to an area that she describes as a "little bent" with a "kink in it." This is potential evidence, she says, of a cerebral fluid leak. The woman recently underwent an epidural injection and fluid leaks are a known complication of the procedure. Boylan talks to the patient and comes away confident a leak is the problem. The remedy is intense rehydration. The patient improves, and is released the next day.

Afterward, Boylan said her own experience has prompted her to evaluate cases more carefully. She said she also has to guard against failing to recognize cases that may, in fact, be psychogenic. "I have to be careful not to lead the patient," she said.

After her surgery, Boylan requested copies of her medical records from most of the doctors who treated her over the prior five years. She was angered to find that several of them highlighted her history of bipolar disorder — in some cases it was the first item entered — and discounted the role of the brain cyst in her symptoms.

Boylan believes that many of her doctors discounted the brain cyst because of a predisposition toward diagnosing psychogenic conditions in women, and that her case is symptomatic of gender bias in the field of neurology.

"I don't believe I would be treated this way if I was a man," she said. By sharing her experience publicly, Boylan is determined to counter what she views as an ingrained suspicion of symptoms reported by women that dates back to the use of the word "hysterical" to demean them as emotionally and physically weak and prone to exaggeration.

She calls it a "pervasive and potentially lethal bias" in neurology.Gender inequality is rife in neurology. Female neurologists were last in pay and had the biggest salary gap between men and women, in a 2016 survey of salaries by specialty and gender at medical schools.

The American Academy of Neurology has had only one female president in its 71-year history even though women now constitute 40% of the professional society's membership. Female neurologists are also disproportionately underrepresented in awards handed out by the academy, according to a study last year. In 24 of the 28 years studied, the recipients of the academy's lifetime achievement awards did not include a single woman.

The more difficult question is whether this inequality spills over to clinical practice. Boylan received care from both male and female specialists, and her medical records are devoid of outright indications of gender bias. Boylan said female neurologists are trained "in a paradigm of thinking generated by men for men" in which the same symptoms are viewed differently in men and women.

Louis said there was no gender bias in his evaluation of Boylan. He said functional disorders are "far more common" in women and "if a person is that gender I am more comfortable with that diagnosis." Still, gender is "only one of many, many pieces of information" used to make a diagnosis, he said.

Dr. Sarah Lidstone, a specialist in functional movement disorders at Toronto Western Hospital, said it is "impossible to say" that gender bias doesn't exist in diagnoses of this condition. "That does factor into that." Still, she said, there appear to be real gender differences. "We don't know why. It's complicated."

Researchers are working to figure out whether women are disproportionately diagnosed with functional disorders.

"We don't know what is right or the whole truth necessarily," said Dr. Mark Hallett, a senior investigator at the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. He said one study underway is looking at whether women suffer more childhood trauma, particularly sexual abuse, than men and if that is a cause of functional disorders.

He said he didn't believe that gender bias played a significant role in the fact that women receive the diagnosis more often than men, and he said other explanations may include hormonal differences between the sexes or that women may be more likely to seek treatment.

It's impossible to know for certain how Boylan got better. The workings of the mind are complex and our understanding of diseases of the brain and of psychology is constantly evolving. It may be that, as Louis suspected, a combination of factors was at work that include both a psychogenic component and the brain cyst.

"To me, where she is now is nothing short of a miracle," said Boylan's friend, Gilbert.

I asked Lawton if Boylan might have experienced a placebo effect from the surgery. While that can happen, he said, Boylan's relief and turnaround "was pretty significant to the point that it outlasted the typical duration of most placebo effects which I think run their course."

Louis said he believes the surgery "did do some good" and at a minimum removed a cyst that was in a dangerous position. But he is not persuaded it is the main reason for Boylan's turnaround. He suspects many of her symptoms were functional, and sometimes patients with that diagnosis get better over time.

Boylan is convinced her cyst and reactions to medicine to treat the symptoms caused by it were the primary sources of her illness. She views her story as a cautionary tale: She was a woman with means, a degree in medicine and a cyst in her brain. Still, she said, "that did not spare me from being cast as hysterical."

Pets

Pets support us, let's support them.

In honor of Pet Wellness Month, here are three small ways to fuel your furry friends.

Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them
Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them.
Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them.
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There are few things that boost our mental health more than owning a pet. Whether it’s a dog or a cat, pets offer unconditional love, the ability to lower stress, and the opportunity to build a community with other pet lovers. Pets support our mental health in dozens of ways, every single day. But how do we care for them in return?

In partnership with Nulo, we’re celebrating Pet Wellness Month this October by highlighting the small, meaningful ways pet parents fuel their fur babies’ happiness and health. We asked readers: “What’s one small thing you do that makes a big difference for your pet?” The best answers win a custom pet portrait, a wellness care package courtesy of Nulo, and a donation to their local pet shelter.


Of all the hilarious and heartfelt answers we got, three of them stood out. Here are the winning responses and three examples of how you, too, can make a huge difference for your pet in small, simple ways.

Keeping their bodies strong

Meet Tee: He’s a loyal, playful ball of energy that helps his owner, Jailon, by bringing joy and calm to his life every day. To show Tee love, Jailon prioritizes physical health and emotional wellness. For exercise, Jailon makes sure Tee has daily walks, playtime, and making sure his diet is balanced with high-quality, nutritious food (Nulo being one of his favorites).

But emotional wellness is equally important. “One small thing I do that makes a big difference for my pet is setting aside dedicated connection time every day,” Jailon says. “No phones, no distractions, just us. The time helps us bond and keeps Tee’s mind active and healthy.”

Communication is key

Mary Ann’s dog Aiden was rescued from her local Humane Society, and as a former stray, the beginning of their relationship wasn’t always easy.

“Aiden was so scared that he would sleep in a corner or under a bed. My husband and I had to sleep with him on the floor until we gained his trust,” Mary Ann said. To soothe his separation anxiety, Mary Ann started talking to him regularly.

“I started telling him, ‘mommy is going to work,’ or ‘mommy will be back’ and he started to understand,” she said.

Amazingly, Aiden responded. Now, his anxiety has improved and their bond is stronger than ever. Aiden still relishes the gentle words of affirmation that Mary Ann continues to give him.

“His face is so expressive and his smile melts our hearts,” she said. “We get him to fall asleep by repeatedly telling him, ‘I love you, Aiden.’”

Building them a place to call home

Our feline friends need love, too. That’s why Amber created a cozy habitat for her longhair tuxedo cat, Precious, on the nights where she likes to roam. Adopted from a local shelter eight years ago, Precious is now 16—and not fond of staying indoors.

“In her old age, Precious has become very anxious being inside,” Amber said. Even in the cold winter months, Precious prefers staying outside on their back deck or exploring their 10-acre property. “She usually refuses to come inside, even on cold nights,” Amber said.

After many failed attempts to get her inside for the evening, Amber and her family realized it would be unfair to keep her confined when she wasn’t comfortable. As a compromise, Amber’s handy husband built a safe haven for her outside.

“She couldn't just have a tiny little box. Our girl was too good for that,” Amber said. “Now we can rest easy at night knowing she is safe, warm, and secure in her own private bungalow.”

Showing love for your pets—especially in the form of regular exercise, safe surroundings and good nutrition—is the best way to keep them happy and healthy for as long as possible. And when we help our pets live longer, we’re nurturing the connection that makes our lives richer, too.


Good nutrition is the cornerstone of a happy pet. Fuel your pet and help them reach their individual incredible with help from Nulo.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks
via Liza Summer/Pexels
A woman learns a harsh truth about her friends.

A significant part of adulthood is realizing that many uncomfortable truths are indeed real, even if we wish they weren’t. At first, these harsh truths may dampen our spirits and make us feel that the world is a bit colder. However, understanding some of life's hard lessons opens us up to greater possibilities and can help us overcome the obstacles holding us back.

Harsh truths help us realize when relationships aren’t as great as they can be. They also prevent us from having too much faith in people and institutions that will ultimately disappoint us. Knowing dark truths can also help us appreciate the things that are truly beautiful, honest, and good. A Redditor named Rare_Can_5418 asked the AskReddit forum, “What difficult truths, the sooner you accept them, the better your life will be?” and received over 6,500 responses. Many of them were centered around harsh truths about relationships and the fact that even if we do our best in life, we can still end up with the short end of the stick.


The key is to keep going and never let failure get you down.

Here are 15 of the “difficult truths” that made people’s lives a lot better.

1. Stop comparing yourself

"There will always be someone better looking, better educated, younger, more experienced, more intelligent or wealthier than you. Do your best, live without regret, have empathy and kindness, give when you can, expecting nothing in return. Focus on your heart value more than what others have."

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

Research shows we have a tendency to compare ourselves to highly visible and highly skilled people, which makes us feel worse. We wonder why we can't cook as well as our foodie friend or why we're not as organized and put-together as our Type A neighbor. No wonder comparisons make us feel like crap!

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks Comparison is the thief of joy. Giphy

2. Some people won't like you

"You can be sweetest, juiciest peach on the tree. But some people don't like peaches."

"In Spanish, there's a saying: 'Nadie es moneda de oro para que lo quiera todo el mundo,' which translates to something like nobody is a gold coin to be liked/wanted by everyone else."

Worrying too much about making everyone like you is a quick path to becoming a people pleaser, an impossible task that takes a serious toll on your mental health.

3. Things are just things

"They don’t have feelings. They don’t care if you give them away or sell them or throw them out. If a thing is useful, keep it. If not, get rid of it."

Psychologists refer to perceiving that inanimate objects have feelings as anthropomorphizing. Psych Central says that humans project feelings onto objects to relate to them more deeply. "People generally anthropomorphize to make sense of events and behaviors they experience. Further, attributing emotions, attitudes, mental states, faces, and values to non-human things can help you feel connected to something," Sarah Barkley writes in a PhD-reviewed article.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks Things don't care if you throw them away. Giphy

4. Not all friendships last

"Surprisingly though, the ones that last are not necessarily the best (or even good) ones."

"Most friendships are based on convenience, I've found. Unless two people are willing to put in a lot of effort, time and distance will do more to end a friendship than any disagreement."

It's natural and OK to outgrow friendships. If you've put in a solid effort and it's not working the way it used to, being comfortable with letting the relationship go will do wonders for your guilt and stress levels.

5. You may be the bad guy

"You can do your best with someone and still be the villain in their story."

"One of my current favourite memes is: I don't care if I'm the villain in your story, you're the clown in mine."

The truth is we're all just people doing our best, even the people who have wronged you.


harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks You might be the villain in someone's story. Giphy

6. You can't change people

"You can only help people who actually want it. If they’re not ready to change or put in the effort, there’s not much you can do. Realizing this can save you a lot of frustration and help you focus on people who actually appreciate your help."

"It’s always tough having those friends who are constantly complaining but doing nothing to address what they are complaining about. But as an adult, you just have to sit there and listen. No point in offering help to someone who isn’t asking for it. Kinda like how it’s really tough to teach someone who isn’t interested in being taught."

Expecting others to change is bound to lead to disappointment. There's a saying that goes, "When people show you who they are, believe them." Hoping and wishing and working to make them somewhere else, more often than not, gets you nowhere.

7. How we judge ourselves and others

"We judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions."

"In psychology, this is called fundamental attribution error."

The Fundamental Attribution Error is a psychological phenomenon where we assume someone's actions reflect their personality without considering the situation. It's like when we blame someone's driving skills for being in an accident instead of the curvy road.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks We judge others differently than how we judge ourselves. Giphy

8. Depending on people

"Once you're an adult, there really isn't anyone you can 100% depend on except yourself. There will still be people in your life to lean on, but everyone has their limits in how they can help you."

Perhaps one of the harshest truths of all, but once you accept it, the path forward becomes extremely clear. It's up to you to make everything happen, and there's really no one else to blame if you don't.

9. Nice doesn't equal good

"Nice people aren't always good people."

"One of my bosses doesn't greet/make small talk and is known for being quite firm. He's been the most helpful throughout my most difficult period dealing with tragedy. Some people with that personality type simply get things done when you need them done without the chattering."

Niceness can even be toxic when it's not coming from a place of genuine authenticity. Sometimes hard conversations and conflict are necessary, and avoiding them is not healthy.

10. Everything is temporary

"You can suddenly lose anything and anyone at any time...and maybe all at once or in quick succession without so much warning."

11. Nobody is thinking about you

"In general, people in the real world are oblivious to you. You're not even a blip on their radar. If you're insecure about something you wear or how you look, remember: nobody cares."

Worried about something small like how the sleeves on your shirt fit you? It's OK if you care, but no one else will. People are far too consumed with their own lives and problems to remember the minutiae of some stranger they saw in passing. Accepting this is incredibly freeing!

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks Nobody is paying attention to you (and that's a good thing). Giphy

12. No one is coming to save you

"No one is coming to save you, so you have to do it all yourself."

"And once you internalize this and do it, your self-esteem will be through the roof."

13. Nobody knows what they're doing

"Before i graduated high school I thought, thank god, I finally won’t have to deal with annoying obnoxious kids and I’ll be treated like an adult, I come to find out 95% of adults are worse then the actual kids, nobody knows what they’re actually doing and life is actually a big joke."

This realization could help cure your Imposter Syndrome. Most people are just making it up as they go along and so you shouldn't feel ashamed of doing the same.

14. Love is reciprocal

"If a romantic interest is not giving you the same attention/respect you give them, they don't really care about or want you, and you're in for a world of hurt if you keep telling yourself otherwise."


harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks We accept the love we think we deserve. Giphy

15. Who's good for you?

"People who are good for you will make you feel happy, joyful, accepted, cared for, and filled with fun times, despite any differences. People who are not good for you will make you feel anxious, sad, down, slighted, judged, and never check in on you if you're not okay, and won't even bother noticing when you're not okay. Genuine people will never let you suffer in silence or watch you suffer. Stay away from those who make you feel negative emotions and thoughts."

These are called harsh or hard truths for a reason. It's human nature to feel self-conscious, feel like an imposter, try to change people, or worry if other people like us. But the more of these you can free yourself from, the better you'll feel.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Community

Thousands of women are still sharing the image of Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Yeoh with a powerful message

'De-condition and unlearn what you’ve been wired to think: that women are your competition.'

Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, women supporting women, hype woman, competition, Golden Globes, Erin Gallagher, LinkedIn, viral, inspirational

Jamie Lee Curtis celebrating Michelle Yeoh's Golden Globes win was an empowering moment for all women.

The 2023 Golden Globe Awards was an incredible night for Michelle Yeoh. The 60-year-old actress had waited 40 years to play the lead in a Hollywood film, and winning the Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Comedy for her starring role in "Everything Everywhere All at Once" was a dream come true. Yeoh's moment in the spotlight made headlines that night as her award speech went viral. But following the ceremony, another moment went viral—the split second Yeoh's name was called as the winner and the reaction of her co-star, Jamie Lee Curtis.

Curtis herself had been nominated for the Best Supporting Actress award for her role in the film but didn't win. (That award went to Angela Bassett in "Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.") But whatever disappointment Curtis may have felt about not winning her own award did not diminish her response to Yeoh's win, which was immediate, intense and immensely joyful.


A screenshot of Curtis' triumphant celebration of Yeoh's win was shared on LinkedIn by Erin Gallagher, CEO and founder of gender equity company Ella, along with a powerful message that's resonating with women everywhere.

Screenshot of Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Yeoh at the 2023 Golden Globes Erin Gallagher via LinkedIn

Gallagher wrote:

"Ladies, this is your vibe for 2023: unabashed hype woman.

Full on. Full out. Full force.

This photo was taken last night at the Golden Globes when Michelle Yeoh won Best Actress for her role in 'Everything Everywhere All at Once.'

Look at Jamie Lee Curtis.

Look. At. Her."


Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, women supporting women, hype woman, competition, Golden Globes, Erin Gallagher, LinkedIn, viral, inspirational Jamie Lee Curtis at the 41st Emmy Awards in 2006Alan Light (alan.light) via Wikimedia Commons

Gallagher continued:

"You can feel her energy, her fire, her power.

Her excitement, joy and passion for Michelle is palpable. The photo moves. It vibrates.

If you saw this photo without context, you may think that it was actually *Jamie* who won.

Ladies, this is your vibe for 2023.

Hype. Other. Women.

When she wins, fight the urge to question…

…who does she think she is?
…why is she getting attention?
…did she really deserve it?
…is she really that good?
...what about me?

Guess what? The world has sold you a lie.

Her success doesn’t detract from yours.
Her wins don’t create your losses.
Her joy can’t steal the joy that’s meant for you.

De-condition and unlearn what you’ve been wired to think: that women are your competition.

It's a trap. Meant to distract us. And to keep us keeping each other down.

Find your Jamie.
Hype their Jamie.
Be her Jamie."

The message hit home, and hard. Reposts on Facebook have circulated thousands of times as women share the message with an enthusiastic, "Yes, this!"

Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, women supporting women, hype woman, competition, Golden Globes, Erin Gallagher, LinkedIn, viral, inspirationalGif of Jamie Lee Curtis clapping via Giphy


The sense of competition between women is often unspoken and not overtly encouraged, yet it exists. Research indicates that women have had complex relationships with one another, marked by both competition and cooperation, throughout human history. Throw in the uphill battle for social and political power in the modern era and it's perhaps unsurprising that women can sometimes see other women's success as threatening to their own.

That isn't really how it works, though. It's not like there's a finite amount of female good fortune to go around. Success is not pie. As Gallagher points out, another woman's success does not detract from our own, and there's ample awesomeness out there for all of us.

Plenty of forces will try to pull women down and hold them back—do we really want to add to that? Be a force that lifts women up. Hype those you know who are crushing it. Celebrate their successes. Be their Jamie. There's nothing but winning in it for us all.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

Popular

I showed my Gen Z kids 'Dead Poets Society' and their angry reactions to it floored me

"Inspiring" apparently means different things to Gen X and Gen Z.

Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society, gen x and gen z differences

Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."

As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved film from my youth that I thought they'd love, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpectedly negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.

I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.


The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.

My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They did love the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they also admitted, "But it was so gooood!"

- YouTube youtu.be

The traumatize part I actually get—I'd forgotten just how incredibly heavy the film gets all of a sudden. (A caveat I feel the need to add here: Gen Z uses the word "traumatize" not in a clinical sense but as an exaggerative term for being hit unexpectedly by something sad or disturbing. They know they weren't literally traumatized by the movie.)

But in discussing it further, I discovered three main generational differences that impacted my kids' "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.

1) Gen Z sees inspiring change through a systemic lens, not an individual one

The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."

 o captain my captain, dead poets society Individual impact isn't as inspiring to Gen Z as it was to Gen X. Giphy

I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.

2) Gen Z isn't accustomed to being blindsided by tragic storylines with no warning

To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for his death, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory so my "sad part" warning was a little insufficient.

But also to be fair, Gen X youth never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.

Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.


3) Gen Z fixates on boundary-crossing behavior that Gen X either overlooked or saw as more nuanced

The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could arguably be seen as. My own young Gen X lens saw Knox and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a total creepo. She needs to run far the other way."

run, red flag behavior Gen Z is much more black and white about behaviors than previous generations. Giphy Red Flag Run GIF by BuzzFeed

On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors and calling them out. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.

To be clear, I don't think my Gen Z kids' reactions to "Dead Poets Society" are wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page when it comes to these kinds of analyses, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without "traumatizing" them too much with the experience.

This article originally appeared in January.

body image, parenting, TikTok, Target trip, self-esteem, tween feelings, positive parenting, media literacy, kid confidence, mom advice, gentle parenting, viral video, healthy habits, body positivity, tough conversations, school age, parent child talk, compassion, empathy, modern parenting

TikTokker Mackenzie Waddell shares a heartfelt story about her daughter.

A mother on TikTok shared a heartfelt moment when her 9-year-old daughter opened up about her self-image concerns, wondering about her appearance as she grows up. The story was a wonderful example of a mother delicately dealing with an issue that far too many young women face. It was also a difficult moment because the conversation brought up the mother's body issues as well.

The conversation happened while the two were clothes shopping at Target. “My 9-year-old’s saying she's fat, and this is because she has to wear adult sizes versus kids 'cause she's really tall, just like me,” Mackenzie Waddell told her 222,000 followers.


A tough question in the fitting room

“She kept calling herself ‘fat’ and that she had too big of a butt and that the other kids her age don't have to wear adult clothes,” Waddell continued. “I reminded her that I, too, had to wear adult clothes when I was her age 'cause I was really tall just like she is.”

@missmommymack Im so devastated that she feels that way about herself. 💔
♬ original sound - missmommymack

The discussion led to a question that was hard for the mother to hear.

“... she asked me if she was gonna look like me when she grew up. And I asked her, ‘Do you mean big like me? When you grow up?’ And she said, ‘Yes. I'm not trying to be mean mom, but I want to look like Aunt Sarah, not you,’” she recalled.

parent child talk, compassion, empathy, modern parenting The changing room brought out a painful revelation. Photo credit: Canva

How Mom chose compassion over criticism

Her daughter’s remarks hit her right in the heart, but she responded with perfect composure. "I kept a brave face and said, 'As long as you are happy and healthy, and you love yourself, that's all that matters. No matter what size you are,” Waddell said.

The mother was sure not to take it personally, but it still cut close to the bone. “And was I hurt? Yeah, I was. But she didn't mean to hurt me. It just really sucked. Yeah,” she concluded.

The post went viral, receiving over 1.7 million views and over 2,000 comments. The most popular commenter thought that Waddell should tell her daughter to avoid commenting on people’s weight.

What the internet said and why it matters

"You should tell her she hurt your feelings. She needs to know. You did a great job supporting her in how she feels. She has to learn that skill also," Char8201 wrote.

However, many women responded with nothing but love for how Waddell handled such a challenging situation. "You responded beautifully, momma. She’s still learning and these are the moments where we provide that guidance, even when it hurts," Mavv13 wrote. "Oh mama. Thank god she feels comfortable to talk to you openly," she added.

Teaching kids about health without harm

After the tremendous response to her video, Waddell responded with another post, educating people about how one’s weight doesn’t necessarily mean they eat unhealthily. “A lot of people like to assume that plus-size people don’t know how to eat healthy or are unhealthy. When, in fact, we’re not,” Waddle said.

She added that her daughter lives a healthy lifestyle but she avoids having conversations about weight with her because “That’s what traumatized me.”

@missmommymack Replying to @user3838812846970 ♬ original sound - missmommymack

This article originally appeared last year.

brielle asero, employment, gen z woman, jobs, career, gen z, economy, adulting
via @brielleybelly123/TikTok and @brielleybelly123/TikTok
Brielle Asero lost her job after 2 months.

Every year, a new generation of adults realizes how hard it is to actually be an adult. Not many things can properly prepare you for the responsibilities and problems you face being an independent human being in the work force.

TikTokker Brielle Asero, 21, a recent college graduate, went viral on TikTok in October for her emotional reaction to the first day at a 9-to-5 job. The video, which received 3.4 million views, captured the public’s attention because it was like a cultural Rorschach test.


Some who saw the video thought that Asero came off as entitled and exemplified the younger generation’s lack of work ethic. In contrast, others sympathized with the young woman who is just beginning to understand how hard it is to find work-life balance in modern-day America.

brielle asero, employment, gen z woman, jobs, career, gen z, economy, adulting A woman appears stressed while working on laptop. Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

“I’m so upset,” she says in the video. "I get on the train at 7:30 a.m., and I don't get home until 6:15 p.m. [at the] earliest. I don't have time to do anything!" Asero said in a video.

“I don’t have the time to do anything,” she continued. “I want to shower, eat my dinner, and go to sleep. I don’t have the time or energy to cook my dinner either. I don’t have energy to work out, like, that’s out of the window. I’m so upset, oh my god.”

@brielleybelly123

im also getting sick leave me alone im emotional ok i feel 12 and im scared of not having time to live

On December 16, 2023 Asero gave an update on her professional life, and sadly, things aren’t going too well.

After just 2 months on the job, she was laid off. It had taken her 5 months to find the job and she had recently relocated to New York City to be near the office.

"I worked for a startup, and they didn't have the workload or the bandwidth they needed to train me and to give me work to do," she said. Being laid off during the holidays makes Asero's situation even more difficult because most employers are closed for business in late December and early January.

Remember, laid off does not mean fired. Asero had some stern words for those who would blame her for losing her job.

"I know that I'm a hard worker, and my boss literally said that I'm one of the smartest people he's ever had working under him, and he knows that I'm going to land on my feet, and he will give me a great referral to anybody, so don't start," she warned.

@brielleybelly123

can someone tell me im going to be okay !!!! feels like the world is ending i need a job immediatley i am feeling so lost rn like i moved for this...!?

"I have done everything I possibly could have, and it's still not enough," she said. To supplement her income while looking for her next big break, Asero says she will look for work as a server or nanny.

Even though Asero took a lot of criticism for crying after her first day at work, the comments on the new video were overwhelmingly positive and supportive. There were also a lot of people who shared how they had recently been laid off, too.

Her first experience in the workforce was a hard one, but her reaction to it was completely valid and something we've all felt before.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Just want to note that there’s no shame in taking a service job while you’re still looking. You’re going to be okay, you got this," Baby bel wrote. "It happened to me, seems like ur life is ending, but I promise it's just getting started. You’ll laugh about it at some point," Rachie added.

These days, Brielle is doing alright for herself as a 23-year-old living in New York City. Among other things, she has a thriving career as a content creator with over 700k followers on TikTok.

That job and the heartbreaking experience of getting laid off, it seems, was good for something after all.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.