A trailer for 'Tar," starring Cate Blanchett
In her TED talk, "What does my headscarf mean to you?" Yassmin Abdel-Magied told this story:
In 1952, the Boston Symphony was looking to diversify it's male-dominated orchestra, so it conducted an experiment with a series of blind auditions.
For the auditions, the musicians would be playing behind a screen, in an effort to remove all chance of bias and allow for a merit based selection only - a selection that would hopefully increase the number of women in the orchestra.
To their surprise, their initial audition results still skewed male.
Then they asked the musicians to take off their shoes. The reason? The sound of the women's heels as they entered the audition unknowingly influenced the adjudicators.
Once the musicians removed their shoes, almost 50% of the women made it past the first audition. The moral of the story? Overcoming unconscious bias isn't as easy as one might think.
Gender bias can seem like a tug-o-war as we seek equality.
Image via Pixabay.
That's partly why Yassmin is somewhat forgiving when it comes to the assumptions that come along with her headscarf.
Yassmin wears a hijab, but that's only part of who she is.
"Someone who looks like me walks past you in the street. ... Do you look me up and down, wondering how hot I must get or if my husband has forced me to wear this outfit? ... I can walk down the street in the exact same outfit and what the world expects of me and the way I'm treated depends on the arrangement of this piece of cloth."— Yassmin Abdel-Magied, "What does my headscarf mean to you?"
But Yassmin is so much more than just a Muslim woman in a headscarf. Like everyone else, her identity is complex and special to her. She has worked as a race car engineer, trained as a boxer, and, these days, works as a mechanical engineer on a giant oil rig. Oddly enough, the very things that make Yassmin unique are often seen as a contradiction because of her religion. And every single day she is dealing with the unconscious bias of those who see her and her scarf, making instant, quiet, almost reflexive judgements about her. Because that's how unconscious bias works.
Bias is a natural response to living in a society that normalizes certain types of people and behaviors while it "others" anything that's different.
Even when we try our hardest to see everyone as equal, our mind is influenced by the way people and things are presented in the world around us. As Yassmin explains, unconscious bias is ingrained in all of us, even when we have the best of intentions.
"Unconscious bias is not the same as conscious discrimination.I'm not saying that in all of you, there's a secret sexist or racistor ageist lurking within, waiting to get out.That's not what I'm saying.We all have our biases.They're the filters through which we see the world around us. ... Bias can be about race,it can be about gender.It can also be about class, education, disability.The fact is, we all have biases against what's different,what's different to our social norms." — Yassmin Abdel-Magied, "What does my headscarf mean to you?"
A link to watch Yassmin Abdel-Magied and her Ted Talk below:
If bias happens unconsciously, how in the world do we correct it?
Unfortunately, there isn't a magic wand that can wipe away any trace of bias you might have. But just knowing that there are biases present in all of us is an important first step to overcoming them. Also, just diversifying your community and interacting with people who are different from you is another way to fight off those silent prejudices.
Want to dig deeper? You're in luck!
Psychologists from Harvard University, the University of Washington, and the University of Virginia teamed up to create a series of online tests that measure unconscious bias. There are tests for everything — age, gender, race, religion, skin tone, and even weapons! It's pretty cool.Visit the "Project Implicit" websiteto test your unconscious bias and find the areas of your perspective that need a little extra TLC.
This article originally appeared on 06.22.15
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.