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Here's what actual trans military voices have to say about Trump's ban.

An estimated 15,000 trans people currently serve in the military.

In June 2016, the U.S. secretary of defense made a long-overdue announcement: The military was ending its ban on transgender service members.

With the 2011 end to the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy banning gay, lesbian, and bisexual people from serving, allowing trans people to serve openly seemed like the logical next step.

As then-Secretary of Defense Ash Carter explained, “Our mission is to defend this country, and we don’t want barriers unrelated to a person’s qualifications to serve preventing us from recruiting or retaining the soldier, sailor, airman, or Marine who can best accomplish the mission.”

Fast-forward a year, and President Trump has undone that progress, tweeting that "the United States Government will not accept or allow transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. military."

He cited "tremendous medical costs" as the reason behind his decision despite the fact that a RAND Corporation study found that the total additional cost of allowing trans people to serve in the military is $2.4 million-8.4 million. (For comparison, in 2014, the military spent more than 10 times that on erectile dysfunction medication alone.)

But maybe Trump's decision wasn't about cost at all. According to Axios reporter Jonathan Swan, a Trump administration official was quoted as saying the move "forces Democrats in Rust Belt states like Ohio, Michigan, and Wisconsin, to take complete ownership of this issue."

"How will the blue collar voters in these states respond when senators up for re-election in 2018 like Debbie Stabenow are forced to make their opposition to this a key plan of their campaigns?" Swan quoted the official as saying.

In other words, Trump's decision doesn't seem to be about readiness, cost, or any of the other reasons frequently tossed around by opponents of trans inclusion in the military. Instead, it's just a game of politics, with trans lives as pawns.

There are currently an estimated 15,000 trans people serving in the military. What do they think of Trump reinstating the ban? We asked them.

Amanda Clark was discharged back in 2007 after coming out as trans. While she says she's ambivalent about military service, she sees this as a matter of basic civil rights.

"I can’t possibly fathom what openly out trans people in the military are feeling right now. Hell, I feel scared now just being a trans person in the civilian world. It feels like the f*cking fascists who run this country are coming for us, and openly serving trans people are next. I’m sure a lot of officers/[non-commissioned officers] are going to be thrilled to get involved in paperwork hell discharging folks."

Kristen Carella, who served on active duty 2001-2005 as an intelligence analyst stationed in Germany, pointed out that many U.S. allies (18 in total, including Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Spain, and the United Kingdom) allow trans people to serve without issue.

"Here was an opportunity for this country to move forward, recognizing the sacrifices transgender people have ALWAYS made in the armed forces, by allowing us to serve openly. [According to Human Rights Campaign] stats 26% of the trans community serves in the military at some point during their lives, that is TWICE the rate of the general population.

Trump's decision is a stunning reversal that can be taken only as a slap in the face, personally to every transgender person who has ever served. It accomplishes nothing more than making sure transgender people remain a demonized and hated target that right-wing politicians can target to scare their base and push their agendas. Of course, all of this demonization ensures that the ignorant violence which leads bigots to murder transgender people in the streets (particularly trans women of color) will continue."

Penelope R., an intersex trans woman who served in the Air Force for six years before leaving to pursue transition, says "members are going to die" because of this new policy, and she urges those who might not generally support the military to care about this.

"[The] American military, despite its many infelicities, has always been a reliable space for many kinds of marginalized people to hide out in. This is why trans people are disproportionately represented in the military.

Enlisting was always a last resort for me — I've known I was trans since I was a child, and knew going into the military meant carving away parts of my identity I cherished, but at the time the alternative was death. Just death. I chose to live, and as a result I met my wife, found a chosen family that makes the sun rise for me, made enough money to afford transition, and qualified me to receive transitional health care from the Illinois VA. ... The military helped make my life worth living. And now it's all gone to shit for everyone.

Despite what he says, there's nothing Trump can say or do to stop trans people from serving — he can only get rid of those he knows about. It will only go back to how it was before, with trans service members confined to the closet at the risk of their careers."



Then-Defense Secretary Ash Carter lifts the ban on trans troops on June 30, 2016. Photo by Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images.

Landon Wilson, who served in the Navy and was the topic of a widely read 2014 Washington Post profile about trans people in the military, points out that the  ban means "honorably serving people" will be removed from service, "effectively weakening our country."

"It's a heartbreaking shame that the President of the United States is choosing to ignore the sacrifices of transgender service members, particularly at a time where so many have proven their dedication to this country. A diverse military makes a strong military; by removing honorably serving people from service, the President is effectively weakening our country, both as a fighting force and as a leader in civil rights."

Vivian Wise, an information systems technician on active duty in the Navy, came out to her shipmates the day President Obama and Secretary Carter lifted the ban in 2016. She disagrees with President Trump's assertion that trans people serving in the military is a "disruption."

"To say that my service has been a 'disruption' is an outright lie. My Commanding Officer, immediate superiors and co-workers have all been fully supportive of me. I am one of the senior technicians within my division, responsible for training our new sailors and managing our day-to-day and week-to-week work list. I was, until just now, being groomed to lead one of our division's two watch teams for our upcoming deployment, beginning late next year. In that capacity, I serve a critical role in my work center.

Summarily discharging me from military service, for nothing more than petty bigotry and electoral politics, is the disruption. The GOP as a whole, and the Trump administration in particular, are degrading my unit and hundreds if not thousands of other units across the armed services by taking away valuable people. We, and the American people, deserve better than this."

Cisgender allies, activists, and experts are voicing their concerns, as well.

In an email, TransMilitary co-director and executive producer Fiona Dawson (who, in 2015, documented the story of two trans service members who fell in love) weighed in on the move, saying she hopes Trump will actually take the time to meet some of the trans personnel he deems unfit for service.

"Donald Trump's assertions against transgender service members are baseless. Science and ethics determine there is no rational reason why the thousands of transgender women and men who have been defending our country and fighting for our freedom for hundreds of years should not be permitted to continue doing so."

Former Secretary Carter offered his opinion on the reinstatement of the discriminatory policy as well, saying that it "has no place in our military."

Advocacy organizations and civil rights groups across the country are issuing press releases, denouncing the tweet on a number of grounds.

The Palm Center called this "a worse version of 'Don't Ask Don't Tell'" and hit Trump over his claims of "tremendous costs."

"As we know from the sad history of that discredited policy, discrimination harms military readiness. This is a shocking and ignorant attack on our military and on transgender troops who have been serving honorably and effectively for the past year. As former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Mike Mullen stated yesterday, their service must be respected. The Rand Corporation has estimated that the cost of medical care for transgender troops is approximately one one-hundredth of one percent of the military annual health care budget, or at most, $8.4 million per year. To claim otherwise is to lie about the data."

Tyler Deaton of the American Unity Fund, a conservative LGBTQ organization, criticized Trump for going back on what he saw as LGBTQ-friendly campaign promises in a statement that is long but worth reading in its entirety:

"President Trump promised to protect the transgender community. As President, he said he was 'respectful and supportive of LGBTQ rights' and would 'protect the community from violence and oppression.' But President Trump has broken his promise and, coupled with his administration's efforts to roll back protections for transgender students in our nation's public schools, he is developing an undeniable pattern of anti-gay and anti-transgender policy while in office. ... As conservatives and advocates for LGBTQ freedom, AUF calls on President Trump to reconsider his comments, and stand with all of our soldiers, including those who are transgender."

Former Justice Department official Vanita Gupta, currently president and CEO of the Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, slammed Trump's move as "yet another broken promise to the American people."

"President Trump doesn't understand that our military is stronger when there are no discriminatory barriers to service. The civil and human rights community will continue to loudly and proudly stand up for the rights of all who are willing to protect the security of our country, including the thousands of transgender people currently serving in our military."

And of course, there was pushback from a number of Democratic and Republican politicians alike.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-California) commented on the sad irony of Trump's decision to increase discrimination on the 69th anniversary of President Truman's order to desegregate the military.

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-New York) announced plans to introduce legislation that would overrule Trump's decision.

Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-New York) highlighted the number of trans people serving in the military.

Rep. Illeana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Florida), who has a transgender son, spoke out against it as well.

Rep. Joe Kennedy III (D-Massachusetts) offered to stand in solidarity with trans soldiers.

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) said "transgender people are people, and deserve the best we can do for them."

And Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-New York) called trans service members "patriots."

Trans people exist in the world and have every right to engage in the same activities and occupations as anybody else.

This is a big deal, and it's not just a distraction. Nobody should be discriminated against for who they are — not in the military, not in education, not in housing, not in employment, not in health care, not at all.

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An entrepreneurial Ph.D candidate sheds light on how technology helps her grow her small business

https://www.pitasplanters.com

Pita and David in front of their mobile plant shop

True

If there is a positive connection between mental health and caring for plants, Lupita Ríos is determined to make it her life’s work to share it with the world.

Ríos owns Dallas-based Pita’s Planters, a small business offering handmade planters, vases, art, bouquet preservation. Her love of vegetation can be traced back to where she spent her childhood—in the jungles of Guatemala—but it wasn’t until Ríos began struggling with panic attacks after college that she realized how healing plants can be.

During a particularly anxious period in her life, the only thing that brought her comfort was a plant she’d inherited from a co-worker. “Every day I would come into work and see some new growth or a new little leaf, and I would just feel so excited … it was like this little seed of light for me during a time when I was not feeling much joy,” said Ríos.

Pita in her plant shop https://www.pitasplanters.com

So she did what made sense: she kept growing plants, eventually learning how to create pots from recycled materials. During the pandemic, she and her husband opened a mobile plant store, which allowed her to share her passion with people in the community. What began as a meditative hobby quickly turned into a booming business, and Ríos, who is also working towards a Ph.D in Neuroscience, found herself overwhelmed with the things that come with being a small business owner (like keeping up with voice messages!).

“I learn as I go,” said Ríos, mentioning that one of the rookie decisions she made as a first-time business owner was to list her cell phone number under the business as the official contact number. “I quickly learned that was not a good idea! I got calls from customers left and right because the business grew so quickly.”

A friend suggested leveraging technology to keep Ríos’ sanity intact. She enrolled in Verizon Small Business Digital Ready, a free online program that offers small businesses nationwide access to over 50 expert courses and grant funding opportunities. The program includes resources created by small business owners for small business owners, covering topics such as marketing, financial planning, social media management, and more. For Ríos, this was the answer to juggling school and business without dropping any balls while the business continues to grow.

Taking control of her mobile plan was the first step in streamlining—and leveling up!—the business. Verizon’s My Biz Plan allowed her select and pay for only what she needed the One Talk App allowed her to reclaim her cell phone for personal use, and Verizon Business Assistant, a GenAI-powered text messaging solution , has been an enormous time-saver. Verizon Business’ 2025 State of Small Business Survey revealed 38% of SMBs are currently using AI–Lupita is one of many using it to help. Instead of spending precious time replying to every DM inquiring about the hours of her shop or troubleshooting a repotted plant’s wilting leaves, business owners like Ríos can set up, customize, and train a virtual assistant to field these questions.

“I didn't even realize I needed this in my life, but Verizon was like, we work with a lot of small businesses and we have a lot of tools that help set your business up so that I can focus on the products, on the marketing, on everything else. And I know that Verizon's got me covered in other ways where I don't have to think about it so much. It is so nice to have someone looking out for you and saying, ‘Yeah, you're busy. We got you covered here. We can take care of this."’

Verizon is committed to reaching one million small businesses with the resources they need to be successful by 2030—with over 450,000 small businesses like Pita’s Planters already using Digital Ready to help their businesses thrive.

Pita and David at their brick and mortar shophttps://www.pitasplanters.com

As for Ríos’ plans for after she receives her doctorate in Neuroscience? She wants to become a professor and continue growing her plant business.“Honestly, there’s nothing quite like having someone walk in who says they’ve never owned a plant before,” said Ríos. “Let me start your plant journey…within a few weeks, you’ll have a jungle in your house.”

Do you own a small business? Verizon offers over $1M in small business grants every year! Complete an application for the Verizon Small Business Digital Readyportal between May 1, 2025, and 11:59 pm PT on June 30, 2025, to be eligible for the application process for a $10,000 grant consideration.

Education

Simple '30-second rule' can help you win every conversation, even if you're a little awkward

You only have to remember one thing.

via Canva/Photos

A man and two women having a fun conversation.

There’s no one alive who doesn’t feel some anxiety about making small talk with other people. The difference is that some confront their fears because they know the incredible benefits that it can mean for their social life, romantic prospects, and careers, while some shy away and miss out on many opportunities.

Many people who avoid small talk believe those who excel at it are naturally charismatic or have been blessed with the “gift of gab.” However, many great conversationalists honed their skills and have a set of rules, techniques, and strategies they use when speaking to people, just like how people who do improvisational comedy or acting have a set of rules to follow to put everyone on the same page. Confident, sociable people may make engaging with others look effortless, but that’s because they have a strategy.

conversation, fun office, men and woman, funny conversation, jokes, levityA group of coworkers having a laugh.via Canva/Photos

What is the 30-second rule?

New York Times bestselling author and founder of the Maxwell Institute, John C. Maxwell, had a rule whenever he started a conversation: “Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging to a person.” This can work in any social or professional situation, for example:

At work:

“Wendy, I heard you did great on yesterday’s conference call.”

“Frank, I hear the clients really love working with you.”

At a party:

“Mohammed, I really loved those pictures you posted on Instagram on your trip to Mexico.”

“Sang, are we going to get some of your incredible barbecue today?”

On a date:

“Thanks for choosing such a great restaurant, it has such a nice ambiance.”

“I really like the way your necklace brings out your eyes.”

date, conversation, laughs, jokes, salads, dinner, restaurant, cafeA man and woman joking on a date.via Canva/Photos

Whether you are complimenting, relaying positive information about the person, or encouraging them, the key is to pump them up and make them feel good about themselves. The 30-second rule fits nicely into Maxwell’s overall view of relationships: “Those who add to us, draw us to them. Those who subtract, cause us to withdraw,” he said.

The key to giving the other person encouragement is to do so genuinely. If you aren’t genuine with your compliments or words of encouragement, your words can have the opposite effect and make the other person feel like you are being condescending.

How does encouragement make people feel?

encouragement, poeple in blue shirts, luaghs, my bad, smiles, supportive peopleA man making a joke with other people in blue shirts.via Canva/Photos

Studies have shown that when people hear words of encouragement, they feel good and have a burst of energy. Psychologist Henry H. Goddard studied tired children and found that they had a burst of energy when he said something encouraging to them. But when he said something negative, they became even more tired.

Ultimately, a direct connection exists between being likeable and being genuinely interested in other people. William King said, “A gossip is one who talks to you about other people. A bore is one who talks to you about himself. And a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.”

Every time you start a new conversation with someone, take the opportunity to share some words of encouragement with the other person, and you’ll be on your way to being seen as a brilliant conversationalist.

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Why Americans pronounce 'street' as 'shtreet.' The unnecessary 'H' we can't stop saying.

Turns out Rs are the real weirdos causing all the trouble.

Photo credit: Canva

Why Americans pronounce 'street' as 'shtreet' or 'schreet'

There are some things Americans will concede are strictly American. One of those things os the pronunciation of certain words. No matter the accent, English words are generally pronounced the same, with a few exceptions. The inflection may be different but the mechanics are the same. This isn't the case for words like "street."

Really, any word that requires the "str" combination somehow gets the "sh" sound thrown in there. It's something that's so normal for Americans we don't hear it, so this may sound made up. But British linguist Dr. Geoff Lindsey breaks down why American speakers pronounce the "str" sound with an "sh." It's like "h" is an invisible letter instead of a silent one. The mispronunciation is not just an American thing though, it's an English speaker thing and doesn't really discriminate based on regional accents.

linguistics; pronunciation; American accent; English accent; word pronunciation; speakingA group of friends at a coffee shop. Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

It would seem the simplest answer is ease of speaking. There are a lot of words that get hurried or pronounced more like you're speaking in cursive rather than annunciating clear individual words. It's faster and easier to cut words short or start them with less annunciation, especially when casually speaking. But when it comes to the "str" sound, it doesn't seem to matter how slowly you're trying to say the word combination. That sneaky "h" keeps popping up between the "s" and "t." Why is that?

Turns out it has more to do with the letter "r" than any of the other letters. Dr. Lindsey explains, "in languages around the world the 'r' is often a tap of the tongue tip just behind the upper front teeth. But English 'r' turns things upside down, literally upside down from the perspective of the international phonetic alphabet, because this is actually the precise symbol for English 'r' and we can add an extra topping to show that it's often made with the lips rounded."

This rounding of the "r" and lack of contact with the back of the front teeth makes the distance between the "t" and "r" an uncomfortable distance for the tongue to travel. When people who speak English pronounce the letter "r," they pull their tongue back, away from their teeth and the roof of their mouth. It's almost as if the tongue is suspended in the air so it doesn't touch anything else in your mouth. This area that the tongue hangs out in for the letter "r" is the same area we use to make combination sounds like "ch" and "sh."

In a recent TikTok video, a young woman wonders if people have always pronounced "street" like "shtreet" after realizing her friend seemed to be adding the "sh" sound, only to realize she too adds the "sh" sound. In response, Yuval, a content creator who explores multiple different topics, attempts to breakdown why people make the "sh" sound when pronouncing words with the blended consonants "str."

linguistics; pronunciation; American accent; English accent; word pronunciation; speakingWomen sitting on swings. Photo by Bewakoof.com Official on Unsplash

"What this comes down to is the fact that English 'Rs' are what we like to call in linguistics, very weird. You'll notice that your tongue has to make all of these peculiar movements to make that sound. More specifically, your tongue is further back in your mouth when you make an 'r' than it is when you make an 's.' So instead of saying that 's' directly, you pull your tongue back a bit and make an 's h' because the distance between and 's' and and 'r' is too great of a distance for your tongue to travel," Yuval points out.

He continues, "Now, some of you might be sitting there and thinking to yourself wait a minute that can't make any sense because in a word like street, directly between the 's' and the 'r' there's a 't' where your tongue is gonna have to be at the top of your teeth anyways, except no it won't because you're not gonna be saying a 't' at all," arguing that words that have the blended "tr" sound often become the blended "ch" sound when speaking. He then gives several examples.

@yuvaltheterrible Replying to @Thomas Jefferson123 so yes dry January is also alliterative #language #linguistics #english #pronunciation ♬ original sound - Yuval

So why do we say words like "street" and "strong" like "shtreet" and "shtrong?" Distance. That's it. There's no secret deeper than people tend to use what is easiest to communicate efficiently. Cutting off the distance the tongue has to travel between the mid-mouth and the teeth in preparation to go from the "st" sound to the "r" sound is just easier. Some people might call it laziness but others might call it efficiency. Either way, stay shtrong out there, the shtreets are tough.

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Woman who traveled abroad for 2 weeks realizes why she can't marry an American man

"I'm actually embarrassed to talk about this."

via Canva/Photos

A woman holding back her laughter.

One of the biggest topics in parenting these days is the mental and physical drain that comes with being the default parent in a family. The default parent is the one who is first in line when it comes to taking responsibility for parenting duties, whether that means making doctor’s appointments, ensuring the homework is done, or making sure the child has enough socks to make it through the week.

Being the default parent can lead to fatigue and burnout, and the parent can experience incredible anxiety when their attention turns away from the household or family. The situation is even worse when the default parent’s partner only does the bare minimum. Unfortunately, in American society, fathers are often the parents who do just enough to get by and are praised for it.

The notion that men don’t have to pull their equal weight in American family life is so ingrained that when Emma Hughes, a travel nanny with over one year of experience in childcare and family support, visited Sweden for two weeks, she experienced extreme culture shock.


"I've been in Sweden now and I think I've been ruined for American men," the 24-year-old said in a viral Instagram video. "Specifically raising a child with an American man in America, because these Scandinavian dads? Chef's kiss …"

"I'm actually embarrassed to talk about this because all of the observations that I've made have really revealed to me how deeply ingrained [expletive] dads have become like in my brain, and it's just like the default,” she continued.

The notion that fathers only have to do the bare minimum was so ingrained in Hughes’ psyche that she couldn’t understand seeing so many involved fathers in Sweden.

sweden, swedish dad, swedish fathers, soccer, swedish childA dad playing soccer with his child.via Canva/Photos

"When I see more dads pushing their strollers in the park on a Saturday morning than moms, what does my brain think … That's weird, there is something abnormal about that,” Hughes said. “When I see dads at the grocery store with their kids. When I see dads out at restaurants or in public. It is so deeply telling of a lot of subconscious stuff that I have going on in my brain after working with so many families."

She said that even the best dads she's worked with in America would be considered the "Scandinavian bare minimum." She applauded one Swedish father who purchased a new size of diapers for his baby without being told to do so by his partner.

swedes, swedish couple, scandanavia, swedish flag, happy swedesA couple holding up the Swedish flag.via Canva/Photos

"Like I watched a Swedish dad go to the grocery store and come home with like four bags of groceries and in that trip he had bought size two diapers for a baby that had previously been wearing size one and was ready to move into size two but that conversation had not happened between the mom and the dad,” she said.

Given Swedish dads' dedication towards their parenting responsibilities, it’s fair to assume that their partners are much happier and stress-free than those in the States. But what about their kids? Researchers at the United Nations who studied “child well-being in rich countries” found that Swedish fathers also ranked high by their children. The survey asked children in 28 countries if it was easy to talk to their dads, and while 67% of children in the study said their parents were easy to talk to, Swedish fathers scored higher at 72.4%. Meanwhile, the U.S ranked 25, out of 28, at just 59.7%.

sweden, swedish dad, swedish fathers, swedish child, dad reading note, A Swedish dad reading a note. via Canva/Photos

Ultimately, Hughes makes an important point that Scandinavian men have set a high bar for being fathers and that American men need to step up. The positive sign is that in America, the discussion around default parenting has been getting louder and louder, and hopefully, that will prompt more American men and women to set higher expectations so that one day, American men can catch Sweden’s.

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‘Cozymaxxing’: The real science behind everyone’s new favorite stress antidote

“It’s like hygge on steroids.”

Photo credit: TikTok (@cozy.games)

Spaces that maximize and prioritize coziness can lead to unbelievable health benefits.

Everyone seems desperate to find something that works for them to live a happier, healthier life, whether competing in 90-minute “space-out competitions” or starting their day at 5:30 am. What are we fighting against, exactly? Chaos. Constant overstimulation. Endless notifications. Economic uncertainty. Burnout at work, burnout at home, and burnout with friends and family. Enter: Cozymaxxing, the latest viral trend sweeping the Internet that asks: What if making our homes as cozy as possible leads to increased mental health?

There is no better feeling than when science confirms your favorite things—delicious cured lox salmon packed with all its glorious fatty acids, swearing like a sailor, and keeping secrets are, in fact, really good for you. And now, you can add cozymaxxing to that list. Scientists are finding that making your space as cozy as humanly possible—effectively, “maxing” it out—can lead to improved health benefits, including lower cortisol levels and better sleep.


cozy, bedroom, warm lighting, blankets, rugIs cozymaxxing the ultimate stress antidote? Science says yes. Photo credit: Canva

Online, cozymaxxing is a choose-your-own adventure trend, with creators showing off their various plush, inches-thick blankets; soft lighting (the trick is to never use overhead bulbs), candles that flicker and smell of your favorite scent (I’m partial to spiced apple toddy, a gift from my mom that’s sitting on my desk right now); and an obligatory mug filled with something nice and warm. For them, it’s not about the furniture you buy or the size of the apartment you live in: cozymaxxing is a state of mind. By using a few tools, like soft lighting and engaging the senses, any moment or space can become “cozy-maxxed,” transforming your current environment into an absolute haven.

As user @cozy.games explains while touring her cozy-maxxed room, “The concept of a cozy hobby room was something I dreamed up years ago when I thought, ‘Hmmm, not quite a craft room, not quite a library, but not a gaming room either!’ As a hobby hoarder, this is the perfect solution! Everything mushed together in the perfect little escape.”

You have to admit, the room looks darn cozy.


There’s a reading nook lit by the gauzy glow of a paper lantern. There's a large circular chair is an especially enticing focal point, with its opulent, white and fluffy blanket, decorative gingham pillow, and a teeny stuffed rabbit (for company). The duo-use gaming and craft center sits up against the window, where she’s set up an ergonomic desk and chair, along with a pastel-hued keyboard and dozens and dozens of different colored pens. “While a lot of gaming happens here,” creator @cozy.games narrates, “this is where I spread out and do a lot of my more artistic, hands-on hobbies.”

The comments are bright with praise: “Your cozy hobby room is a dream!” writes one person. “I would never leave that room,” says another.

Other commenters fantasize about their future cozymaxxing, with one writing, “This is how I plan to fill my kids' rooms once they are grown and out.”

How is cozymaxxing different from hygge?

Getting snuggly and comfortable are not new concepts, and cozymaxxing itself draws on traditions including “nesting” and hygge. However, as a marketing and branding company, Boxwood, points out that although hygge and cozymaxxing share similarities, they are not the same. “Cozymaxxing is not to be confused with the Danish concept of hygge,” they write. “Hygge emphasizes simplified, comfortable atmospheres and a sense of well-being. It involves creating an uncluttered, inviting environment, often through warm lighting, comfortable textiles, and shared moments with loved ones.”


cozy, bed, comfort, blanket, mug Consider cozymaxxing “hygge on steroids.”Photo credit: Canva


However, cozymaxxing is inherently not minimalist. Consider it “hygge on steroids.” Boxwood describes the difference like this: “[Cozymaxxing] has a more maximalist bent that embraces collecting and layering rather than Hygge, which focuses on decluttering and simplifying.”

Cozymaxxing began to take off online on platforms like TikTok and YouTube at the beginning of 2025. Martha Stewart’s website describes cozymaxxing as “the practice of engaging in multiple self-soothing activities that center around your senses and embody the true essence of comfort. There is no right or wrong way to practice cozymaxxing, as long as you’re doing things that bring on feelings of comfort and calm.”

So, why is cozymaxxing having a moment right now?


There are multiple reasons why this intentional and serene approach to life might be so enticing, such as:

  1. Burnout: Ken Fierheller, registered psychotherapist at One Life Counseling & Coaching, tells Healthline, “People are burnt out and looking for ways to create little pockets of peace in their lives.” He continues, “There are a lot of stressors in the world right now, and finding little moments of feeling safe and cozy is a great way to relax and de-stress.”
  2. Rejection of hustle culture: In a world where people are trying to maximize so many other parts of their lives, cozymaxxing rejects the idea that life needs to be “perfected” or that the “grind never stops.” In fact, it’s healthy to take pauses: “People are increasingly rejecting the glorification of busyness and hustle culture, opting instead for self-care and balance,” says Ritika Suk Birah, consultant counseling psychologist and founder of Reflect with Dr. Ritz.
  3. Post-pandemic effects: Now that many of us are embracing life at home in a new way, whether that be efficient work from home set-ups, or novel parenting techniques, cozymaxxing offers a way for people to re-discover the power of their personal spaces. Dr. Suk Birah adds, “Economic stress, climate anxiety, and political instability make people crave a sense of safety and control, and we often find this in cozy, familiar environments.”
  4. Health benefits:VeryWellHealth states cozymaxxing is “a minimum-effort way to manage your mental health and relieve stress.” By making time for yourself and bringing an awareness to comfort and ritual creation, cozymaxxing can have a variety of health benefits, including emotional regulation, improved sleep, and reduced cortisol levels.


How to incorporate cozymaxxing into your own life

Inspired? Well, then it’s time to get cozy. Remember, there is no wrong or “right” way to cozymax; it’s all about finding what works best for you.

  • Create a cozy corner: Like creator @cozy.games, designate a spot in your home for rest, then max out the space out with plush blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals.
  • Turn the lights down: Instead of harsh overhead lighting, opt for softer, dimmer choices like table lamps, string lights, candles, or salt lamps. An essential oil diffuser with a soft light option, like this one from Muji, can make a world of difference.
  • Warm beverage ritual: What’s cozier than having a warm mug in your hand? This may take finessing, but find what brew works for you: try decaffeinated options, like lavender, peppermint, fennel, barley, chrysanthemum, or Sleepytime Tea.
  • Escape into soundscapes: Lure yourself into coziness by playing soft, soothing music in the background, binaural beats, or nature sounds. For an extra-sensory kick, use noise-cancelling headphones.
  • Scent and ambiance are key: Comforting scents like vanilla, sandalwood, or pine can send cues to the body that it’s time to relax.

The best part about cozymaxxing? You don’t need to spend money. “Don’t feel like you have to buy all the things that are shown in those TikTok videos to practice cozymaxxing,” reports licensed mental health counselor Amber Kinney. “What works for one person might not work for another.” So, the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, try dialing up the vibes with cozymaxxing. Your nervous system might thank you.

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Culture

American woman doesn't want to freak out an Englishman so she turns to the Internet for advice

"If you're on a date, you're together as a couple!"

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A woman looks over at a formal Englishman

We are so often charmed by cultural differences — and why wouldn't we be? We watch the rom-coms where, for example, Hugh Grant flutters his eyelids and says the most impossibly posh, yet humbled compliment to the American woman searching for her "prince." (I get it, I've done it, I'll do it again.)

Hugh Grant, British Man, romantic leading manHugh Grant is charming.Giphy

But there are times that we get into sticky situations, either based on unfounded stereotypes or simple confusion. We risk the success of a relationship by ignoring some of the small (and large) contrasts in cultural dating traditions.

One woman on Reddit was not willing to chance it when it came to her potential English beau. She reached out to the subreddit community r/AskMen, with the headline, "Differences in dating culture between the US and UK?" She wrote,

"A couple of weeks ago, I (an American girl) met an English guy here in the States. I've heard of various cultural differences, but wanted to get some honest opinions. I'm not talking about changing myself, just trying to avoid saying/doing something completely off-putting without realizing it. What are some things I should be aware of when interacting with him?"

- An American and Brit discuss dating normswww.youtube.com

Her fellow Redditors did not disappoint. In fact, quite a few threads are dedicated to this very topic. In this one, a British man got right to the point, which was that some (not all, of course) Brits may assume a relationship is locked down before the American might.

"I'm a British guy. I think the biggest difference is that exclusivity is assumed over here if you're going out with someone, which seems quite different to how some Americans act. Then like others say, there's probably less 'alphaism', although confidence is still a key factor for guys."

A British woman also enters the chat, adding that, as an American, she best not leave her wallet at home.

"I'm British... I think it's much more common to split the bill on dates in the UK. There isn't an assumption that the man pays at all." (I have personally had a very different experience with this, so again it's some — not all.)

She also notes, similarly to the British man, that while Americans might remain with the status "It's Complicated" for longer on Tinder, the Brits often switch right to "In a relationship." She shares,

"Also, Brits don't date multiple people simultaneously. If you're on a date, you're together as a couple already. To be honest, the idea of dating as practised in the US just seems so complicated to me!"

relationship status, love, dating, gif, relationship, it's complicatedAn animated dog makes a love declaration. Giphy I Love You GIF by Chippy the dog

Another common theme among the armchair Redditors? In the courting stages, British men seem a bit more casual, often preferring to have a pint with their friends and then moseying over to say hi at the end of the night. One commenter writes,

"Maybe it's a little less formalised over here, and we're a little more likely to drink casually. Nothing crazy though. From that I'd say perhaps expect him to be a little more casual and maybe not take you to the fanciest restaurant or something."

After this same man (who is also British) politely, adorably apologized a few times for seeming to generalize, he adds,

"I found that American guys were a little more into being seen as 'the man' than guys over here. Less of a show is put on. Generally it's easier to do well with women in the UK if you're friendlier, self-deprecating, charming, silly (plus that's more how we are with everyone). The pressure to be the 'alpha' male is far less prevalent (although it does exist in certain circles)."

After a few people agree on the "Alpha" comment, the discussion shifts over to sneakers. This American shoes in,

"Except sneakers. American who grew up in London here. Every American I saw when I lived there always wore the most unflattering and obnoxious sneakers."

shoes, sneakers, American men, fashion, outiftsSomeone walks in sneakers down a street.Giphy Slamdunk Anime Aesthetic GIF by animatr

Which is met with,

"Well, if the issue is about dress and fashion sense, by and large Europeans knock Americans into a cocked hat. No one else really wears sneakers for anything except playing sports. To do so makes one look like a kid instead of an adult. They also don't tuck polo shirts into the belts and mostly don't wear Dockers at all."

Bottom line, and again this obviously doesn't apply to everyone—but things this American woman might expect from her British suitor? They're officially together after two dates, he might not pay for dinner, and he will never, ever be seen in Dockers.

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