+
upworthy
Health

Woman's explanation for being 'standoffish to men in public' brings up an important point about unwanted attention

This is why talking about women's experiences is so important.

Woman's explanation for being 'standoffish to men in public' brings up an important point about unwanted attention

When Lily Evans set out to walk her dog, she had no idea the story of that walk would later go viral on the internet.

When she took to Twitter to recount her experience, she opened with a simple question, one that many men have probably wondered for a long time — though women already know the answer.

(Before you click through to the thread itself, note that Lily's Twitter account is expressly for adults and may be NSFW.)



All Twitter images from Lily Evans/Twitter, used with permission. A transcript of the excerpted tweets is available at the end of the story.

assets.rebelmouse.io

The walk started off normal enough. Until she ran into a seemingly friendly stranger.

A man eating on a nearby bench offered her dog, Echo, a treat.

assets.rebelmouse.io

He eventually asked her if she lived in the area — which could be considered slightly intrusive — but all in all, it was just small talk.

But then she ran into him again shortly after.

assets.rebelmouse.io

Evans says his friendly banter — maybe innocent, but more likely not — was making her incredibly uncomfortable.

And yet he continued to linger.

assets.rebelmouse.io

Then he invaded her physical space with an out-of-nowhere hug.

"I was terrified," she wrote.

assets.rebelmouse.io

Evans hurried home, petrified the man would follow her.

He didn't. But the experience left her shaken and upset. Worst of all, she says, she has been through this many, many times before.

Her story went viral in a hurry, with over 44,000 retweets, 68,000 likes, and thousands of comments.

"The response from other women has been pretty heartbreaking," Evans writes in a Twitter exchange with Upworthy. "Many, many women have used this as an opportunity to share their stories of harassment, assault, or even just being very frightened."

The replies to Evans' tweet thread is littered with similar stories — seemingly "nice" guys on the street or public transportation who push small talk far past its acceptable boundaries.

Though she's glad her story made other women feel more comfortable coming forward with their own experiences, Evans hopes it also leaves an impression on men who read it.

"I had several guys ask me how they can be more non-threatening, and that's exactly what I was aiming for."

"I got a lot of replies from men saying, 'Oh, I'm so sorry that happened, but we aren't all like that! Some of us are nice guys,'" she says. "And while that's true, my point was that strangers cannot know what your intentions are until it's too late.


She hits on an important point: It's not inherently wrong or creepy to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but women truly never know when a simple "hi" is going to turn into them being followed and harassed.

"I had several guys ask me how they can be more non-threatening, and that's exactly what I was aiming for," she says. "I just want men to be more self-aware and understand that when a woman they don't know is skittish, it's nothing personal. We're just trying to be safe."


This article originally appeared on 07.18.19





Florida teacher Yolanda Turner engaged 8th grade students in a dance-off.

We've said it before and we'll say it again: Teachers deserve all the kudos, high fives, raises, accolades, prizes and thanks for everything they do. Even if they just stuck to academics alone, they'd be worth far more than they get, but so many teachers go above and beyond to teach the whole child, from balancing equations to building character qualities.

One way dedicated educators do that is by developing relationships and building rapport with their students. And one surefire way to build rapport is to dance with them.

A viral video shared by an assistant principal at Sumner High School & Academy in Riverview, Florida shows a group of students gathered around one student as he challenges a teacher to a dance-off.

Keep ReadingShow less

A family fights over a baby name.

When it comes to parenting, the second most important decision—after whether to have a child or not—is choosing a name for the kid. Even though we live in times where parents are getting more and more creative about picking a name for their children, those with a more common name have a greater chance of being socially accepted than those without.

According to Psychology Today, grade-school kids with highly unusual names or names with negative associations tend to be “less popular” than those with more “desirable” names. Later in life, people with “unpopular or unattractive” names have more difficulty finding romantic partners.

A 23-year-old mother-to-be wanted to name her son Gaylord and had her family's full, passionate support, but her husband, 24, and his side of the family were firmly against the idea. The woman was looking for validation and posted about the dilemma on Reddit's AITA forum.

Keep ReadingShow less

Fowl Language by Brian Gordon


Brian Gordon is a cartoonist. He's also a dad, which means he's got plenty of inspiration for the parenting comics he creates for his website, Fowl Language (not all of which actually feature profanity).

He covers many topics, but it's his hilarious parenting comics that are resonating with parents everywhere.

"My comics are largely autobiographical," Gordon tells me. "I've got two kids who are 4 and 7, and often, what I'm writing happened as recently as that very same day."

Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

Cat who refuses to eat wet food without a side salad has people 'warning' owner

"Next thing you know he’ll be demanding oat milk in his latte."

Shaggy has to have his greens with his meal.

Cats have a reputation for being fickle little weirdos, and for good reason. Perhaps your Persian wakes you up every morning by affectionately chewing on your hair. Maybe your tabby has a pet almond that he carries around like a security blanket. Maybe your Maine Coon likes to sleep with his face buried in your shoe.

Since finickiness is an innate feline trait, it shouldn't surprise us to hear about a kitty's particular peculiarity, but it often does. because just when we think we've heard all of the strange things that cats do, someone shares a new one that makes us laugh, scratch our heads and say, "Huh?!"

For instance, meet Shaggy, the cat who won't eat his wet food unless it's accompanied by a side salad.

Keep ReadingShow less

Perpetually late friends can be annoying.

We all have a friend who seems to live in their own time zone and is never punctual for anything. This can become a headache after a while because you always have to wait to get your table at a restaurant, or you may miss the first few minutes of a movie.

After a while it becomes harder to let them off the hook for being late because it's just so darn inconsiderate.

A 32-year-old female Reddit user named Danceofthefireys had it up to her neck with her friend, a male who’s also 32, for constantly being late. So, after he was late for a lunch date, she took drastic measures to prove her point. But did she go too far?

“This friend is always late to everything. Being late is fine; however, in this day and age of mobile phones, I have strong feelings that one should try to notify a person if they are running significantly late to a date/meeting,” she wrote in a post on the AITA forum.

Keep ReadingShow less
Democracy

How this protest image became an instant icon

She was arrested shortly after the photo was taken.

A photo by Jonathan Bachman.

A woman confronts the police at a Black Lives Matter rally.

A stunning photo of an African-American woman confronting police at a Black Lives Matter rally blazed across social media this weekend, with some calling it a touchstone image that will stand as a powerful symbol for many years to come.

The photo, captured by Jonathan Bachman of Reuters, comes from a Black Lives Matter rally outside Baton Rouge police HQ this weekend. Police in full riot armor are shown descending on a poised, well-dressed woman, apparently about to be cuffed.

Keep ReadingShow less