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Joy

A group gave 105 homeless people disposable cameras. These are the photos they took.

See life through someone else's eyes 👀

homeless, disposable cameras, photos
Photo by Jackie Cook/MyLondon Photography Contest.

Many locks of bright, pink hair peek around the corner of the stairwell.


A group of 105 homeless people gathered at St. Paul's Cathedral in London.

Each of them was given a disposable camera and told to take pictures that represent "my London."

The photos were entered in an annual contest run by London-based nonprofit Cafe Art, which gives homeless artists the chance to have their work displayed around the city and, for some of the photographers who participate in the yearly challenge, in a print calendar.


"Some people have had experience, and others have never picked up a camera before," said Paul Ryan, co-director of Cafe Art.

The program, Ryan explained, includes mentorship and training from professional volunteers at the Royal Photographic Society, including winners of the contest from previous years, many of whom are ultimately inducted into the society.

contest, London, social circles, job market

A "Drivers Wanted" sign in the window from the MyLondon Photography Contest.

Photo by Richard Fletcher/MyLondon Photography Contest. All photos used with permission.

The goal of the challenge is to help participants gain the confidence to get back on the job market, search for housing, re-engage with their social circles, or even activate dormant skills.

"I really enjoyed it. And I started to get involved in my art again, which I'd left for years," a 2015 participant said in a video for the organization's Kickstarter campaign.

These are 11 of the top vote-getters from this year's contest:

1. Ella Sullivan — "Heart Bike Rack"

bike rack, photography, hearts, charity

A heart shaped bike rack.

Photo by Ella Sullivan/MyLondon Photography Contest

2. Alana Del Valle — "London Bus with Sculpture"

double-decker-bus, sculpture, contest

A red-double-decker-bus behind a mirrored sculpture.

Photo by Alana Del Valle/MyLondon Photography Contest

3. Beatrice — "Out of the Blue"

shadows, hands, artist, art

A hand shadow reaches up the wall toward a water container.

Photo by Beatrice/MyLondon Photography Contest

4. Laz Ozerden — "What Now?"

charity, donations, pan handling

Open hands accepting donations.

Photo by Laz Ozerden/MyLondon Photography Contest

5. Leo Shaul — "The Coffee Roaster"

coffee, roasters, model

A long coat hugs “The Coffee Roaster."

Photo by Leo Shaul/MyLondon Photography Contest

6. Christopher McTavish — "St. Paul's in Reflection"

St. Paul\u2019s, historic buildings, government

St. Paul’s cast a reflection against a blue shoe in a puddle.

Photo by Christopher McTavish/MyLondon Photography Contest

7. Hugh Gary — "London Calling"

phone booth, red kiosk, iconic

London calling.

Photo by Hugh Gary/MyLondon Photography Contest

8. Keith Norris — "Watching Mannequin"

mannequin, window display, reflections

Rolling your eyes at a mannequin.

Photo by Keith Norris/MyLondon Photography Contest

9. Siliana — "After the Rain"

tourism, tour boats, bridges, rain

A boat cruises under the bridge after a rainy day.

Photo by Siliana/MyLondon Photography Contest

10. Saffron Saidi — "Graffiti Area"

street art, graffiti, Dalmatians

Life reflecting art.

Photo by Saffron Saidi/MyLondon Photography Contest

11. Jackie Cook — "Underground Exit"

transportation, walking, stairwell, hide-n-seek

Who’s that in the stairwell?

Photo by Jackie Cook/MyLondon Photography Contest

Ryan, who has been developing the program for seven years, said that while there's no one-size-fits-all solution for individuals who are homeless, for some who are too used to being "knocked back," the experience of seeing their work on display or in print — and of success — can be invaluable.

"Everyone is helped in a different way, to get up to the next step in whatever way they need to."


This article originally appeared on 08.17.16

Education

A school assignment asked for 3 benefits of slavery. This kid gave the only good answer.

The school assignment was intended to spark debate and discussion — but isn't that part of the problem?

A school assignment asked for 3 "good" reasons for slavery.



It's not uncommon for parents to puzzle over their kids' homework.

Sometimes, it's just been too long since they've done long division for them to be of any help. Or teaching methods have just changed too dramatically since they were in school.

And other times, kids bring home something truly inexplicable.

Trameka Brown-Berry was looking over her 4th-grade son Jerome's homework when her jaw hit the floor.

"Give 3 'good' reasons for slavery and 3 bad reasons," the prompt began.

You read that right. Good reasons ... FOR SLAVERY.

Lest anyone think there's no way a school would actually give an assignment like this, Brown-Berry posted photo proof to Facebook.



In the section reserved for "good reasons," (again, for slavery), Jerome wrote, "I feel there is no good reason for slavery thats why I did not write."

Yep. That about covers it.

The school assignment was intended to spark debate and discussion — but isn't that part of the problem?

The assignment was real. In the year 2018. Unbelievable.

The shockingly offensive assignment deserved to be thrown in the trash. But young Jerome dutifully filled it out anyway.

His response was pretty much perfect.

We're a country founded on freedom of speech and debating ideas, which often leads us into situations where "both sides" are represented. But it can only go so far.

There's no meaningful dialogue to be had about the perceived merits of stripping human beings of their basic living rights. No one is required to make an effort to "understand the other side," when the other side is bigoted and hateful.

In a follow-up post, Brown-Berry writes that the school has since apologized for the assignment and committed to offering better diversity and sensitivity training for its teachers.

But what's done is done, and the incident illuminates the remarkable racial inequalities that still exist in our country. After all, Brown-Berry told the Chicago Tribune, "You wouldn't ask someone to list three good reasons for rape or three good reasons for the Holocaust."

At the very end of the assignment, Jerome brought it home with a bang: "I am proud to be black because we are strong and brave ... "

Good for Jerome for shutting down the thoughtless assignment with strength and amazing eloquence.


This article originally appeared on 01.12.18

Family

Moms are debating whether parenting is actually 'hard,' but they're asking the wrong question

Moms who think parenting is easy expressed some judgments about those who find it hard.

Parenting is hard. That doesn't mean it's bad.

If there's one thing you learn raising multiple children all the way to adulthood, it's that parenthood is humbling. It's many other things, too—wonderful, joyful, delightful, frustrating, confusing and tiring—but humbling might top the list.

When you're in the early years of your parenting journey, humility hasn't always set in yet, which is how a debate between moms about whether or not parenting is hard got sparked on social media.


It began when a mom of four kids under 7 wrote on X, "So many parenting books talk about how incredibly hard parenting is. However that had just not been my experience at all. My kids are 1.5-7, I have four, and there are certainly difficult moments, but I would not describe parenting itself as being hard. Am I alone in this?"

Is parenting as hard as people say it is?

People began sharing their experiences, explaining that they thought parenting was easy too until they had a more difficult kid. Some parents said that if moms think parenting is easy it just means they have easy kids or a lot of help. Some said that if parenting is hard for you, it's a skills or attitude issue, which prompted some heated debate about how much of your parenting experience is within your control.

Many of the people who claimed that parenting was easier than they expected have small children only. That explains part of their thinking, especially if they have relatively easy young ones. But it's also a reflection of how the parenting discourse has shifted to become more raw and unfiltered in recent years, largely thanks to the mommy blogging era. Two decades ago, when I was raising my own small children, blunt honesty about the challenges of parenting came as a breath of fresh air to those of us who had only ever heard about how wonderful motherhood was. Now "real talk" has been the norm for a whole generation, probably swinging the pendulum to the other side, bombarding young parents with messages about how hard parenting is.

There's something to be said for expectation. If you go into motherhood expecting it to be hard, it may not be as difficult as you imagined. If you go into motherhood expecting it to be all giggles and cuddles, you'll be in for a rude awakening. Messaging makes a big difference on that front.

What do people mean when they say parenting is hard?

Of course, there's also the fact that "hard" is completely subjective. How do you measure that? Some moms who said parenting is not that hard said things along the lines of, "There are hard moments and sometimes it's frustrating and it's definitely tiring, but it's not hard." But some of us would absolutely equate "frustrating" and "tiring" with hard. So some of this is just semantics.

All "hard" really means is "requiring much effort or skill," which I imagine most people would agree parenting requires. However one of the above moms implied that if parenting is hard, it means you're not good at it, which understandably rubbed some people the wrong way. Same with the idea that attitude is most of what makes parenting hard.

But whether parenting is hard or not isn't even the right question. The question is whether hard = bad. I would argue it absolutely does not. In fact, I think "parenting is hard" is totally compatible with "parenting is delightful" and "parenting is enjoyable." Parenting being hard doesn't negate the joy and the wonder of it all.

Running a marathon is hard, but people still choose to do it because they love to run and because they enjoy the challenge. It's exciting and exhilarating and exhausting, all at the same time. The effort—the hard—is a big part of the experience.

Tending a farm is hard work, and it's celebrated as such. It seem strange to imply that saying "parenting is hard" must mean there's some sort of moral failure happening. Isn't hard just the nature of it?

Is parenting really supposed to be easy?

Parenting isn't meant to be impossible or torturous, but I don't think it's supposed to be a breeze, either—at least not if you're trying to do a good job. Being a bad parent is easy, at least for a while, but good parenting takes continuous, conscientious effort. There are a million circumstances, from age and stage of development, to individual temperament and family support, to your own upbringing and expectations of parenting, that can make it easier or harder. But until you've done the full arc of raising multiple children through to adulthood, you simply don't know what unexpected surprises might be in store. Humility can be chosen early on or forced upon you later, but I've yet to meet a veteran parent who hasn't been humbled by parenting somewhere along the way.

When my children were little, I had a completely different perspective on parenting than I do now that I have two young adults and a teen. Different parents find different parts of parenting difficult, and again, that's not bad. I love being a mom. Motherhood has been the greatest gift of my life and I adore my relationship with my incredible kids, but it was—and still is, in some ways—hard to be a parent. There's no way around that and I feel zero shame in saying it. The hard work of sowing good character, watering their hearts and minds, weeding out negative influences and nurturing them as individuals has allowed us to reap the fruits of our labor in a beautiful family life.

Perhaps those who find parenting "easy" just have their own interpretation of what "hard" or "difficult" means. Or perhaps they haven't hit a hard stage of parenting yet. Or maybe they really did hit the jackpot combo of easy kids and tons of support and that won't ever change. Who knows. All I know is that parenting well is hard, but that hard and great and joyful and wonderful can all totally go hand in hand.

@racheleehiggins/TikTok

Want out of a relationship rut? The Three hour night might be the perfect solution.

Almost every long term relationship suffers from a rut eventually. That goes especially for married partners who become parents and have the added responsibility of raising kids. Maintaining a connection is hard enough in this busy, fast paced world. Top it off with making sure kids are awake, dressed, entertained, well fed, oh yeah, and alive…and you best believe all you have energy for at the end of the day is sitting on the couch barely making it through one episode on Netflix.

And yet, we know how important it is to maintain a connection with our spouses. Many of us just don’t know how to make that happen while juggling a million other things.

According to one mom, a “three-hour night” could be just the thing to tick off multiple boxes on the to-do list while rekindling romance at the same time. Talk about the ultimate marriage hack.


The three-hour night was something that Rachel Higgins and her husband began incorporating into their lives at the beginning of this year. And so far, “it's been so fun and such like a game changer for how our evenings go,” she says in a clip posted to TikTok.

Before using the three-hour night, the evening would look a bit like this: their daughter would go to bed, they would lounge on the couch, scroll through social media, then fall asleep. Sound familiar?

But with a three hour night, Higgins and her husband divvy up the time before bed into three section, each for a different focus.

In the first hour, starting around 7 p.m., is what Higgins calls “productive time,” during which the couple sees to any household chores that might need to be done.

“So start with like a quick cleanup of the kitchen or just like things that accumulated throughout the day, and then we try to do something that either ... has been being put off or cleaning the bathroom or like organizing the pantry or hall closet or something like, super random like sharpening the knives. Anything that's productive for the household,” she explains.

@rachelleehiggins if you’re stuck in a rut with your evenings try this! i saw someone do something similar to this a while ago but can’t remember who! #marriage #1sttimeparents #newyearsgoals ♬ original sound - Rachel Higgins

Next, the second hour is geared towards re-establishing a physical or emotional connection in their marriage. The phones go away, and they focus only on enjoying one another.

“So, that could be things like showering together or ‘having fun’ together, playing a game together, or just like anything that's gonna get you guys talking and connecting or like debriefing from the day or just like talking about what you're doing and like the plans for tomorrow or like how works going or whatever. So, anything that's gonna connect and strengthen and build your marriage,” Higgins says.

Lastly, the final hour of the night is dedicated towards anything Higgins and her husband individually want to do, any sort of personal recharge activity.

Since this is a judgment free time, Higgins states that “If you just want to lay on the couch and scroll your phone and watch TikToks or whatever like watch YouTube videos,” it’s totally acceptable.

Higgins’ novel approach definitely interested viewers, who chimed in with their own questions. One major concern was how the heck this could be done every night. But even Higgins admits that she and her husband don’t succeed at having a three-hour night every night—they usually try for about 3-4 times a week. And honestly even once a week could still probably be beneficial in building intimacy.

Others wondered how to have a three-hour night when things randomly popped up in their schedule, like when kids won’t magically go to sleep promptly at 7pm. Higgins shares that in these cases, they tend to just shorten each phase. The point being: these can and probably should be customizable, even fun, rather than yet another rigid chore.

Plus, a three hour night (or whatever your version of a three-hour night may be) is a great way to remind yourself just how high of a priority your relationship has in your life…no matter what else is going on at the time. Odds are you'll probably find you do have more time for it than you previously thought when you set aside time for it.


This article originally appeared on 1.8.24

An older woman spending time with her daughter.

Folks with a positive attitude about getting older often say, “Age ain’t nothing but a number.” But according to Yale professor Becca Levy, the more accurate philosophy should be, “Age ain’t nothing but an attitude.”

According to Levy’s work, developing the correct attitude about aging can help increase our lifespans. The problem is that ageism is embedded deeply into Western culture. For example, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of an older person? The most common answer in the U.S. is “memory loss.” However, in China, it’s “wisdom.”

The average life expectancy in China is 78.2 years, compared to 77.5 in the U.S. Japan has one of the highest life expectancies in the world, at 85.2 years, and a lot of that has to do with the country's attitudes towards aging.


“[Levy] noticed that in Japan, old age is treated as a time to enjoy rather than to fear," a Yale School of Public Health article examining her career said. “The Japanese don't make a lot of fuss about menopause, for example, treating it as a valued phase of life, unlike in the U.S. where it is sometimes treated like a midlife affliction,” Levy said. “As a result, older Japanese women are less likely to experience hot flashes and other symptoms of menopause than women of the same age in the U.S."

via Tristan Le/Pexels

How does a positive attitude affect longevity?

Levy’s research led to a landmark 23-year study in which she and her team found that those with a positive view about aging live an average of 7.5 years longer than those without.

The study looked at responses that 660 older people in a small town in Ohio gave to a survey about their attitudes toward aging. It found that those with positive attitudes toward aging had a greater lust for life, positively affecting their longevity. It also found that when people encounter negative stereotypes associated with aging, they have an adverse cardiovascular response to stress.

"Our study carries two messages. The discouraging one is that negative self-perceptions can diminish life expectancy; the encouraging one is that positive self-perceptions can prolong life expectancy," say the authors.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

How to have a positive attitude about aging

Eric Kim, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia and Hannah Giasson from the University of Michigan’s Department of Psychology shared four ways people can improve their attitudes towards aging with the American Heart Association.

1. Maintain a sense of purpose

"People's purposes can be quite different," Kim said. If your family is a high priority, find ways to help out your loved ones. If you're passionate about the environment, find an organization that allows you to give back. “Volunteer work is a great way to [have a sense of purpose]," he said.

2. Reject negative messages about aging

"Develop an awareness of these messages," Giasson suggests. “Understand how they influence us." Rejecting negative ideas about aging, such as the idea that disease is inevitable, gives us more reason to care for our health and feel we have control over our future.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

3. Stay socially active

People may lose loved ones as they age and social isolation is a big problem. Loneliness increases the risks of heart attacks, strokes, depression and low self-esteem. However, positive social connections can have a positive effect on health.

4. Try something new

People often stop doing activities they enjoyed when they were younger because they lack the physical ability. "Don't fall into the mindset that it's too late to try something new," Giasson said. “It's never too late, and you're never too old to explore new interests."


Internet

An innocent question about 'oily hair' turned into a wholesome exchange about beauty standards

“When people ask me does their hair look oily what does that mean?”

Innocent cultural question creates educational exchange

There are things about other cultures that we simply won't know unless we ask. The problem is, sometimes asking can feel embarrassing or even be tricky due to worries about offending someone. Something about the feeling of anonymity on the internet makes people feel a little more comfortable asking these questions to what feels like the void in hopes that someone sees your genuine curiosity and responds with kindness.

For an example of how these interactions can go, look no further than a Black woman named Olivia. She explains in a video posted to social media that she doesn't understand what people mean when they say their hair is oily.



"As a Black girl, when people ask me 'is my hair oily,' what does that mean?"

"My friends will ask me and they're not Black and then they ask, 'oh does my hair look oily,' I don't know what that MEAAAAAANNNNS," Olivia says.

Her cries were heard and Annie, a white woman, responds to Olivia's video with explanations and examples. A lot of thought went into her video, answering Olivia in a respectful and compassionate way that highlights the different beauty standards between the two races.

"Hear me out, I think this stems from the same misunderstanding that happens when white girls are always complimenting Black girls box braids when they're really grown out and needing to be redone," Annie surmises before pulling up photos of what oily hair looks like on white women.

how-to beauty GIF by SephoraGiphy

She also explains using her own hair as an example, sharing that her hair is fine and she likes to have a level of volume to her hair, "and when it's oily it is like slicked down to my head and you can typically see really sharp part lines. It almost looks kinda wet."

Annie's explanation included the difference between how Black women may see hair flat ironed with oil in it and think it looks like the "sleekest silk press ever."

a woman with an afro is looking at the camera Photo by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash

The comments section was full of women all races showing appreciation for the wholesome and respectful discourse on this topic. It also made people feel like the comment section was a safe space to ask more questions, which were answered in the same respectful, kind manner.

"So basically, you see the beauty in us that we don't see in ourselves and we see the beauty in you that you don't see in yourselves. This was so wholesome to watch," one person shares.

"I love this phenomenon of us complimenting each other's raggedy hair. I like to think we just see the beauty in each other that we don't see in ourselves."

woman wearing blue and white floral spaghetti-strap dress Photo by Leyli Nova on Unsplash

"So all the white women who told me my hair my hair was cute when it wasn't weren't trying to play me," one woman asks.

"I love this phenomenon of us complimenting each other's raggedy hair. I like to think we just see the beauty in each other that we don't see in ourselves," another viewer added.

"Here I was walking around thinking people were being sarcastic complimenting my dirty flat hair. We are all so different," another commenter writes.

Others were simply impressed by the positive discourse happening in the comment section and realizing that compliments they received previously were likely genuine.


@anniesright #stitch with @olivia ༘˚⋆𐙚 This is so funny to me - like i am always so self concious about my greasy hair and the fact some people dont even know what it looks like 🤣🤣 beauty standards are so weird #greasyhair #oilyhair #braids ♬ original sound - annie


"See. This is how we need to be discussing these things! We're all tuned in and enjoying the conversation," a woman gushes over the camaraderie.

Hug GIFGiphy

Sometimes all we need is a little insider clarification to understand that we're all on the same team, genuinely trying to be kind and complimentary to other people. The comment section is good vibes for anyone who reads it.