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Fatherhood

Dad follows his daughter during her 5 a.m. jog for the sweetest reasons

“I have whatever the opposite of daddy issues are.”

woman, running, jog, 5am, safety, dads, fatherhood

Running in the dark raises safety concerns.

A woman going out on an early morning run is showing everyone what being a good father looks like. Social media fitness influencer Orey shared a TikTok praising her father’s protection and motivation to achieve her goals.

“I have whatever the opposite of daddy issues are because my dad drives behind me during my 5 A.M. runs to make sure that I’m safe,” said Orey in the video’s caption. In the video, Orey gives her dad a fist bump through the open driver’s seat window before running off into the dark streets as her dad monitors her from his car.

@oreyfit

he’s a GOOD man savannah !!!! #run #runningmotivation #running #fyp #runningcommunity #runninginspiration #runhappy #runnergirl

Most outdoor joggers prefer to get their run in early in the morning to avoid traffic and pedestrians that would clog up city streets. It’s also a more comfortable time to run for people who live in warmer climates that get significantly hotter during the day, such as in Los Angeles where Orey resides. Unfortunately, though, such runs aren’t always safe.

Running outdoors when it’s dark can be risky, especially for women. There have been several news stories over the years about primarily female runners being harassed or assaulted while alone on the streets or in a park. While there should be a conversation on how to permanently ensure the safety of the public while they exercise, it’s currently necessary to actively find ways to protect yourself. Or, in Orey’s case, reflect upon how special it is that someone steps up for you.

The commenters on Orey’s TikTok shared similar stories from their parents:

“My dad finds parking in the Bronx for me and moves his car when I come home. 🥺”

“I didn't have my dad, but my mom would follow me to work when I would have to be there at 5 A.M. to open and stay until another employee showed up.”

“My dad would walk to the beach a block from our house at 2 A.M. after his night shift to check on me on my night 'walk' and walk me home…I was in my 30s. 🥰🥰🥰🥰”

Orey has gained a major following on TikTok with more than 450,000 followers by sharing relatable and accessible videos of her fitness journey, especially with running:

@oreyfit

Replying to @Monique Miller some running tips 🩷 #fyp #run #running #runningmotivation #runningtips


Parents often protect their children through limitations, even when they’re grown. They might say, “Don’t do that at night,” or “That’s too dangerous of a commute,” or “You could get hurt; best to forget about it.” While well-intentioned, that approach can create a boundary in the relationship and a lack of trust in an offspring’s ability to be independent. If Orey’s dad had that mentality, it could create resentment from Orey and he would still be worried for her if she decided to run before dawn.

running, runners, dad, daughter, father and daughter, parents, good dads A dad keeps track of time while running with his daughterImage via Canva

Instead, Orey’s dad did something great parents do—he participated. It’s special when anyone inconveniences themselves to support their loved one’s goals. If he was going to feel restless knowing that his daughter was going to run at 5 a.m., might as well go along with her, right?

Supportive and participatory phrases might sound like, “Let me drive you there and back,” “Let’s make a plan together in case the worst happens,” or “Can I do it with you?” This approach not only creates peace of mind for the parent but also strengthens the bond with the child as a wonderful side benefit. And it isn’t just applicable for parents and their kids, but also between spouses, partners, and friends, too. You not only help keep them safe as they pursue their goals but are actively there when they achieve them.

It’s an unfortunate reality that safety is never 100% guaranteed, but providing protection in tandem with support creates something special between loved ones. That alone is worth an early alarm each morning.

This article originally appeared last year.

partnerships

5 ways people are going "all in" this week

From the silliest to the most sentimental, there are so many ways people are going “all in” on the internet this week. Here are our five favorites.

True

There's something truly special about watching someone go "all in." This could mean throwing an elaborately themed birthday party for a Chihuahua (see below) or something a little simpler, like surprising someone with a long-anticipated birthday present. Whatever it is, going "all in" means total commitment—no holding back, no second-guessing, just passion and full-throttle enthusiasm. It means being fully present in the moment and creating something truly special as a result.

In this roundup, we’ve scoured the internet for the best examples of people going all in—those moments where passion, creativity, and total commitment take center stage. Some are silly, some are sentimental, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100% is the only way to truly leave a mark on this world. Buckle up—these folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.


1. The guy who learned Mandarin to propose

@yinrun_hello He secretly learned Chinese to Propose 😭😭😭 #fiance #proposal #engagement #love ♬ pluto projector - ☆

Talk about commitment. Getting married is the ultimate example of being "all in," but this guy takes it to a whole other level. Shared to social media by content creator Yinrun Huang, the emotional video captures a marriage proposal that's completely in Mandarin from a non-native speaker. That's right—this guy learned a whole language (and executed it pretty well) to win his girlfriend's hand in marriage. Not only are the words beautiful, his dedication is, too.

2. Kid-approved snacks that help local communities  

It’s scientifically proven that kids are brutally honest, unfiltered, and don’t hold back—which is why our friends at All In couldn’t resist sitting down with this group and getting their honest opinion. Are these snack bars really that good?

The Bite Size Board has spoken—and they’re all in. Not only are these snack bars delicious, they’re also an easy way to help people in need: Every time you buy a bar, 2% goes to a community to help them get fresh food.

Want to try these Board-approved treats? Snag a free box by signing up with your phone number on Aisle. Then grab two boxes of All In bars at Sprouts, snap a picture of your receipt, and text it through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one box. Easy and delicious.

3. This Chihuahua’s extravagant birthday bash

@phoebeparsons__ Tell me you’re a DINK family without telling me #chihuahua #dink #mexican ♬ EVERLASTING LOVE - GROWS

Do you love your dog? Would you throw a birthday party for them? How about a full-out celebration in a Mexican restaurant that includes banners, party hats, and the entire restaurant serenading him? Yeah, we thought not. These pet owners are absolutely "all in" on this dog's birthday, and we love to see it. Not only is this celebration extravagant and clearly well thought-out, people in the comments section are jokingly pointing out that taking a Chihuahua to a Mexican restaurant is a nod to the dog's cultural heritage. If that was intentional, this might be the best dog birthday party we've ever seen.

4. Truly unhinged (and maybe true?) Taylor Swift theories

@grindcitymedia did taylor swift drop super bowl hints? 😲 #swifties #nfl #taylorswift ♬ original sound - grindcitymedia

OK, whether you love Taylor Swift or not, you have to admit that her fans (known as “Swifties”) have an incredible commitment to the fandom (and an eye for detail). Case in point: Last week on her boyfriend’s podcast, Taylor announced the upcoming release of her new album, The Life of a Showgirl. The news was responsible for breaking the internet, and also for spurring a ton of fan theories about the future album and her future performances. In case you didn’t know, Swift is famous for dropping “Easter eggs” that hint at things she’ll be doing in the future, such as when she kept flashing peace signs and dropping the number 2 in her instagram posts in the weeks leading up to her double album “The Tortured Poets Department” in April 2024. This time, Swifties have taken to social media to discuss potential Easter eggs that were hidden throughout her podcast appearance. The latest theory? Her constant references to sourdough bread were actually Easter eggs hinting at a 2027 Super Bowl Halftime performance. Only time will tell if that's accurate, but the enthusiasm, the attention to detail, and the hours of research that must have gone into all these fan theories is truly something to behold.

5. This dirt bike birthday surprise 

@dmndboys_

This is why I look forward to fatherhood 🔥

♬ original sound - dmndboys_

These parents didn't give their kid a birthday present—they gave him the best birthday present of all time. Not only did the setup require a lot of thought and planning, but check out this kid's reaction. You can tell this was something he'd been wanting for a long time. Going "all out" and getting such a great response in return—it's something amazing to see.


Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts.

Two women walking through the park.

When did working out become so…complicated? Pricey gym memberships, workout systems that take up precious space in the garage, and don't even get me started on finding the "right" running shoe for your feet (if such a thing even exists).

Yes, there's far too much confusion surrounding walking and running in terms of fitness. But it doesn't have to be this way. Working out using your own two feet does not need to resemble an excellent Avril Lavigne song.


Enter: Japanese Walking.

@coacheugeneteo Walking 10,000 steps... But better 😯 I know I can’t be the only one who looks at my step count at the end of the day and feel like a failure. Some days, I get around 2,000 steps. I still aim for at least 8,000 a day - but sometimes, life just gets in the way. But even if it's only an extra ~3000 steps, this simple 30 minute protocol on my walking pad can make a huge difference.
♬ original sound - Eugene Teo

Also known as Interval Walking Training (IWT), it's a straightforward yet highly effective fitness technique that incorporates interval training methods used by professional athletes. So, it's no surprise that once TikTok caught wind of this simple, low-impact, 30-minute workout (and discovered it works!), Japanese Walking went viral.

Fitness influencers and news outlets alike heralded Japanese Walking as the real deal: a science-backed, lab-tested alternative to high-intensity sweat sessions that also works better than those flashy, fleeting fitness fads, like the (now debunked) 10,000 steps a day challenge or the "12-3-30" treadmill trend.

Ready to find out what all the buzz is about Japanese walking? Let's dive in.

The story behind Japanese Walking

In the early 2000s, a team of researchers at Shinshu University in Nagano, Japan, found themselves grappling with a head-scratching dilemma.

Japan's population is consistently ranked as one of the world's oldest. In 2023, it was reported that nearly a third of Japan's population had already hit 65 years old (an estimated 36.23 million people—approximately the population size of Ghana), with one in every 10 people being 80 years or older.


In the study conducted at Shinshu University Graduate School of Medicine, exercise physiologist Hiroshi Nose and his collaborator Shizue Masuki led a research group on a quest. The goal? To make walking an aging person's new best friend. They wanted to discover a highly effective walking routine for middle-aged and older adults that would help improve their physical and cardiometabolic health.

Early trials in Japan showed promising results. In Nose and Masuki's landmark 2007 study, they observed the physical fitness and blood pressure of 246 participants between the ages of 44 and 78 for five months. The results confirmed their suspicions: that those who followed the IWT program showed greater improvements in strength, endurance, blood pressure, and aerobic capacity, compared to moderate, steady-paced walking or those in the no walking regimen.

In older adults, these benefits increased even further, with significant increases to thigh muscle strength (up to 17%) and a reduction in systolic blood pressure.

What a perfect ending, right?

If only.

"No one completed the program, and they complained that the program was too boring and too difficult," revealed Shizue Masuki.

Rather than give up when participants found their fitness program boring, Nose and Masuki's research team turned to a popular training method sworn by in the professional sports world: interval training. This type of training is beloved by runners, cyclists, and others who want to increase their speed, agility, endurance, and/or muscle power. It's efficient (you can achieve more results in less time) and prevents boredom.

For example, if you're doing jump squats for a few minutes, then burpees and mountain climbers, or shuttle runs and bicycle crunches, repeatedly, it's pretty challenging to get bored.

What makes Japanese Interval Walking so special?

There's a certain symmetrical beauty to interval walking training.

Rather than maintaining a quick, steady pace, ITW devotees alternate between three-minute bursts of fast, energetic walking and three-minute intervals of slow recovery periods. Alternate between the two speeds for a total of five rounds, or 30 minutes, and that's it! You're done.

outdoors, walking, sports, intervals, fitness Two people walking outside. Photo credit: Canva

For those who want to get technical, during the speedy portion, Nose and Masuki recommend trying to hit 70-85% of your maximum heart rate. Then, during the more relaxed intervals, your heart rate should reduce to 40-50% of your maximum heart rate.

If you're unsure about your heart rate, consider investing in a heart rate monitor. This one doesn't need bells and whistles; make sure that it has a stopwatch and the ability to set a target rate with an alarm.

Why this actually works—while other walking exercise plans fail

Your body craves challenge, but it also needs recovery. Japanese interval walking gives you both. During those high-intensity bursts, you're creating what cardiovascular expert Dr. Mir Ali calls "healthy stress" on your heart and muscles.

"When you increase your intensity of walking or other exercise that raises your heart rate, it's helpful to cardiovascular health and increases aerobic capacity," said Mir Ali, general and bariatric surgeon. "Once you're settled down from that increase, over time, your blood pressure improves."

The benefits don't just stop there. Nose and Masuki's studies also show positive effects on sleep, cognitive function, and depression. Imagine being able to sleep better, think more clearly, and feel happier, all from a simple 30-minute walk. That's the power of Japanese Walking.

- YouTube www.youtube.com


In a world where fitness increasingly feels expensive and complicated, people want something real and accessible. Japanese Walking connects with so many people because it works—it's not a fad or a viral moment. Interval walking training was developed in a lab to scientifically strengthen the bones and bodies of Japan's growing elderly population, and by doing so, offered a rare gift to the rest of the world: a path to fitness that's not just effective, but also efficient, and. most importantly, sustainable.

Oh, and it's accessible! You already possess everything you need to succeed in Walking Interval Training. You, a pair of shoes, and 30 minutes to spare, preferably outdoors.

Photo Credit: Canva

Dad gets emotional listening to the lyrics at an Olivia Rodrigo concert with his daughters.

Viral moments at concerts have become all the talk this year. But, unlike the unfortunate (alleged) "gotcha" clip at the Coldplay show, this new one is much more wholesome.

When Christian Lopez accompanied his two young daughters to see Olivia Rodrigo, who was part of this year's Lollapalooza fest in Chicago, he didn't expect to get swept up in his feels. It was so pure and beautiful to see a man genuinely moved by lyrics that have the potential to shape his children—and the Internet took notice.


@taitum_alex

This is so sweet,his such a girldad😭🥹🩷 #girldad #oliviarodrigo #prettyisntpretty #foryou #concert CR@Lesvinsindy


Rodrigo's song, in this case, was "Pretty isn't Pretty," and it resonates with so many young girls and women as well. There's something about Lopez's face that seems to suggest that he is well aware that self-doubt can creep into a young girl's psyche and set up shop there for years.

Bought a bunch of makeup, tryna cover up my face
I started to skip lunch, stopped eating cake on birthdays
Bought a new prescription to try and stay calm
'Cause there's always something missing
There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong
When pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do?

And everybody's keeping it up, so you think it's you
I could change up my body and change up my face
I could try every lipstick in every shade
But I'd always feel the same
'Cause pretty isn't pretty enough anyway
You can win the battle, but you'll never win the war
You fix the things you hated, and you'd still feel so insecure
And I try to ignore it, but it's everything I see
It's on the poster on the wall, it's in the shitty magazines
It's in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys I bring to bed
It's all around, it's all the time, I don't know why I even try

As the girls sing loudly along with the song, their emotions jump through the camera. Every word seems to be a gut punch from the commentary of societal-inflicted beauty standards. Visibly seeing Lopez relate to and understand this was a spark of hope for future generations.

In a Zoom interview with NBC Chicago, Lopez shares, "I wanted to say to all of you - you are so enough. This is unbelievable. Feel this moment. And they all felt like they weren't (enough.)"

@nbcchicago

The internet has found its new favorite “girl dad.” Christian Lopez was standing in a crowd with his two daughters at Olivia Rodrigo's Lollapalooza performance in Chicago, when something unexpected happened during the song "Pretty Isn't Pretty" -- and it was all caught on camera. #oliviarodrigo #prettyisntpretty #lollapalooza #viralmoment #chicago


We hear a news reporter's voiceover who says, "A Dad who got emotional listening to Olivia Rodrigo's concert is explaining this viral moment." Another newscaster adds, "So Christian Lopez took his daughters to the opening night of Lollapalooza. And a TikTok captured his reaction as Rodrigo sang her hit song, Pretty isn't Pretty."

We cut back to Lopez explaining, "And then my 12-year-old is just screaming and I listen to the words. She talks about 'looking at the mirror and not feeling good. I became 12 again. I was 12. And then I was a dad. I had my daughters and I realized that the words were resonating with not only them - but with every single kid around me. And so when I was looking around, I'm looking at them, going 'Wow. Every single person here is just feeling this. We all felt it the same way. Like, even though I'm so much older than my daughters, we all felt it."

He adds, "I think that's why all these artists are amazing. Like Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo. Young female artists who are just writing and composing stuff that this generation gets and that I get, as well. And if I translated this song to my dad, who only speaks Spanish, he would get it too."

Olivia Rodrigo performs the song "Pretty isn't Pretty." www.youtube.com, Olivia Rodrigo

The viral TikTok has millions of likes already and thousands of comments. One top comment is from Olivia Rodrigo herself who just writes, "I'm crying."

A photo collage from the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

It's really interesting what nearly 35 years does to the lens of perspective. When my friend invited me to join her family for their once-a-month movie night, she asked which John Hughes movie she should show her 14-year-old twins. The answer was obvious. It had to be something fun, school-related, and iconic. Ferris Bueller's Day Off seemed to be the perfect choice as we Gen X-ers loved it when we were exactly their age in 1986.

The fraternal twins (one boy, one girl) sat down on a rare early Saturday evening when neither had dance practice or a sleepover. We gathered in our comfy clothes, popped some popcorn, and hit "rent now."


They were excited by the opening scene, where an adorable Matthew Broderick (doesn't matter what generation one is, he transcends them all) is pretending to be sick in bed with worrying parents. His sister Jeanie is suspicious and exhausted by his antics, but Ferris prevails. He then proceeds to give a brilliant monologue about eating life up and living in the moment. His now-famous line, Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it,” is still plastered in quote books and on Bumble profiles.

The twins seemed inspired, and one of them actually teared up in the first five minutes.

- YouTube youtu.be

Spoilers ahead: the movie is pretty simple. Ferris is a super cool high school kid with a beautiful girlfriend, Sloane, played by Mia Sara. His best friend is a depressed hypochondriac named Cameron, who is played to perfection by Alan Ruck. Ferris skips school a lot (nine times!) and grabs each day by the neck. There are themes of hedonism, nihilism, and Taoism, but neither of the twins mentioned that.

The first thing both kids did bring up was how privileged the characters were. Affluent Chicago suburbs, after all, was the setting John Hughes knew best. They also noted, as many have over the years, that Ferris seemed rather selfish and insensitive to what others in his life wanted and needed.

Ferris Bueller, 80s movies, Gen X, Gen Z A Ferris Buellers Day Off Film GIF Giphy Paramount Pictures

There have been many conversations over the years about Cameron being the true hero of the film. He has a story arc, unlike Ferris, that is unwavering. He's sad, but pushes through it and even gets the guts up to stand up to his father after accidentally totaling the old man's prized Ferrari.

In fact, there was a theory that Ferris was a figment of Cameron's imagination—a Fight Club scenario, if you will. Robert Vaux writes on CBR, "The theory holds that the entire day is a fantasy taking place in Cameron's head while he lies sick in bed. His sickness actually supports the theory: once Ferris comes over, it vanishes, and Cameron plunges energetically, if reluctantly, into the events of the day. According to the theory, it's because there are no events of the day. He's still sick at home, and the whole thing is a daydream."

cameron, ferris bueller's day off, 80s movies, john hughes, gen x, gen z Cameron GIF in Ferris Buellers Day Off 80S Giphy, Paramount Pictures

I fully expected the twins to have similar thoughts. If not the Fight Club part, at least the idea that Cameron was the true protagonist. But what they (both of them) said instead was shocking. "No," the daughter told me. "I mean, I liked Ferris and I loved Cameron. But it's Jeanie who's the hero here."

Jeanie, the sister mentioned earlier, was played with pure rage by Jennifer Grey. She spends most of the movie attempting to narc on Ferris rather than enjoying her own beautiful day. She is angry and determined until…she meets a "bad boy" at the county jail, played complete with bloodshot eyes by Charlie Sheen.

Taken aback, their mom pushed back. "Jeanie, the sister? Why?"

The son answers, "She just changes the most. She starts out, like, having it in for Ferris. Really, having it in for EVERYONE. And then she just like figures it out." The daughter adds, "Yeah, in the end she was rooting for Ferris. She came the farthest from where she started and she's the one who kinda saved him."

- YouTube youtu.be

gobsmacked, I turned to Reddit for more answers. In the subreddit r/movies, someone recently posted, "Something I noticed about Ferris Bueller's Day Off." They then proceed to drive the Cameron theory forward. "At the start of the film, Cameron is in bed sickly and not really confident in himself, but as the movie progresses, he starts to get more confidence, and by the end, he gains the courage to stand up to his father."

A Redditor replies with this thoughtful answer: "I've heard it called a flat character arc when the protagonist doesn't change but is instead the catalyst for those around them to change. It's hard to pull off but is often the most satisfying kind of character. Ted Lasso (especially in season one) is a good example."

Others echo that idea, offering up characters like Forrest Gump and The Dude from The Big Lebowski. They stayed exactly the same while the world or others in their lives changed around them. It's described on a YouTube clip as "The moment you realize the main character is not actually the main character."

- YouTube youtu.be

This would give credence to the twins' opinion. But I'd never heard anyone choose Jeanie before (and they weren't swayed by Grey's performance in Dirty Dancing because they haven't seen it yet). When pressed one more time, their answer didn't change. "No doubt, it's the sister. She should have a spinoff." Their mom was so proud and we all totally agree.

This article originally appeared in June.

Canva Photos

The "keep your fork" tattoo is extremely popular, and for good reason.

People get tattoos for lots of reason. Sometimes, it's to cover themselves in beautiful art that they, and others, can admire every day. Sometimes it's to remember a loved one. Other times, it's so they have a constant, visual reminder of a message that speaks to their heart.

Take, for example, the famous semicolon tattoo. Why a semicolon? It stands in stark contrast to a period, which ends a sentence or a story. The semicolon speak to a story that is not yet over, that is to be continued. It's commonly used by suicide survivors or people who struggle with depression as a reminder of the strength it takes to continue on. There's also the "Lucky Few" tattoo, which denotes pride and solitary among parents of children with Down syndrome.


One mom recently noticed a strange tattoo on another woman out in the wild. It was so unique and, seemingly, random that she had to ask what it meant. Prominently displayed on her arm, the woman had a tattoo of...a fork.


tattoos, ink, body art, mantras, religion, spirituality, semicolon tattoo, lucky few tattoo, fork tattoo, keep your fork Want to get this tattooed permanently on your skin? Photo by Matt Popovich on Unsplash

Emily Hawkins shared the encounter in a post on LinkedIn.

Hawkins had been volunteering at her daughter's swim meet when she noticed the interesting ink on a fellow mom. She couldn't resist asking: "What's the story behind the fork?"

The woman answered that the fork tattoo was a reference to the old saying, "Keep your fork."

Imagine, if you will, being a young kid sitting down to family dinner. You've gobbled up all the casserole, eaten all your veggies, and it's time to clear the table. Imagine that maybe your mother is kind enough to come around and take the dirty dishes out of your way. Except, she leans over and whispers, "Keep your fork," with a wink.

The saying implies that something great is coming your way, like an unexpected dessert: a slice of pie or some cake. Think of how excited your little kid brain would be!

The "Keep Your Fork" tattoo is a reminder to feel that joy every day. It symbolizes that, no matter how hard things get in life, something good is just around the corner. Better things are coming your way.

Or, as the woman in Hawkins' story put it, "The best is yet to come."

Read the whole post here:

The woman at the pool was not the first or only person to adopt "Keep Your Fork" as a life mantra or even as a tattoo.

The tale is best-known as a religious parable first published in Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul in 1996. The story goes that a woman dying of cancer asked her pastor to bury her with a fork.

“Well, pastor ... that’s how I think of my death and funeral. What’s coming next is heaven, and it will be so much better than what I’m experiencing now. And I can hardly wait.”

Since then, the fable has adopted many different meanings for many different people. Not everyone who gets the tattoo thinks of it as a symbol of Heaven. Some just view it as a reminder to stay optimistic, that joy and happiness is never out of reach for too long.

Hawkins post struck a powerful nerve with people. Dozens commented to say how much they appreciated the message of hope.

"the way this absolutely devastated and inspired me. <3" wrote Lianna.

"This a great story and reminder that better times are ahead. Thanks for sharing!" said Mark.

"This gave me goosebumps. Not just because of the symbolism, but because of how gentle—and generous—it is to hold space for hope." commented Maha.

Don't underestimate symbolic reminders and mantras that take the form of tattoos. Researchers say tattoos can be powerful ways to process grief, love, trauma, and other strong emotions.

Tattoos are art. The way music, film, and books can move us and change the way we think about the world, so can a seemingly simple illustration on our skin.

It also comes with a lot of planning and personal pain, which only adds to their meaning.

A fork may seem a strange thing to permanently etch onto your arm, especially a big one! But as far as messages to be remembered every moment of every day go, the hope and optimism that the fork represents is one of the best I can think of.

Culture

Gen Xers and Boomers share outrageous behaviors that used to be considered 'normal'

"All my parents' friends used to give me a spanking for each year on my birthday."

Photo by lil artsy/Pexels

Older people are sharing memories of wild behaviors and norms that would be considered "boundary crossing" today

How many times have you looked back to things you thought were "normal" from your childhood and thought "Huh, that was actually kinda weird in hindsight"? Times change, and what's considered "normal and acceptable" change with them. That's not automatically good or bad, necessarily, but hopefully humanity is evolving such that we learn from our mistakes and recognize room for improvement.

Culture, social progress, and technology all play a role in how our behaviors evolve. We hope our behavior changes for the better, and sometimes it does, but some folks might disagree and think things were better back in simpler times.


In that vein, someone asked Gen Xers and Boomers on Reddit, "What are some things that would be considered rude or boundary crossing today but were perfectly normal and acceptable when you were growing up?" and the answers reveal how much has shifted in the past handful of decades.

If you're over 40, enjoy this slightly disturbing trip down memory lane. If you're under 40, yes, all of these things really happened on a regular basis.

Scolding other people's kids (even strangers)

Raising a child was seen as more of a community effort than it is today, which resulted in perfect strangers doling out discipline.

"Scolding someone else's child. I remember getting corrected by strangers."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Reprimanding other people's kids in public. Giphy

"Those were the lessons that stuck the most too for me. When a family friend or stranger corrected me I knew without doubt I done f'd up. I didn't like the trend during the late 80's into 90's of everyone telling each other to mind their own business and not correct a child that wasn't theirs ~ horrible logic that I feel totally contributed to where we are at today with nobody considering other peoples opinions on things."

"OMG yes! in my neighborhood, whoever's house you were at, if you acted up, their mom was expected to let you know, and even send you home! it's just how things were."

"Kids were basically community property."

People are split on whether this development is ultimately good or bad.

Showing up or dropping by unannounced

Before cell phones, people didn't always call or text before going to someone's house. Company could just show up at any time. People had snacks on hand specifically for unexpected guests. It was a thing.

"Possibly stopping in at a friend’s house unannounced. That used to be fairly common when everyone didn’t have a phone in his or her pocket."

"You never knew who, or how many, would show up at our house on a Friday night for a game of penny ante poker or Yahtzee in the 60's and 70's."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Showing up to someone's house unannounced. Giphy

"I do miss that. We always had extra snacks for guests available because we never knew when someone might just show up."

"We always had a Pepperidge Farms Coconut cake in the freezer. My mother would take it out to thaw as soon as company showed up."

"A corollary of this was that you were also expected to have your clothes on and be somewhat presentable while you were at home, since you never know who would be dropping by."

"Hell, me and my friends would just walk into each other's house like we lived there. None of the parents seemed to mind either. I often ended up eating meals at their homes and them at mine."

People still show up out of nowhere in movies and TV shows, though. Probably because texting isn't quite as cinematic!

Birthday spankings

Okay, yeah, this one is weird. It was a tradition to get a spanking for every year of your life on your birthday, and it wasn't even just parents who did this. Teachers, your parents' friends, etc.

"All my parents' friends used to give me a spanking for each year on my birthday. Does anyone else remember this? Birthday spankings? So weird."

"And a pinch to grow an inch."

"My 4th grade teacher did this to all of us in front of the whole class. She ended it with a "pinch to grow on" and literally pinched our butts. This was around 2001 in Indianapolis. I don't recall anyone ever having an issue with it at the time, but looking back it was definitely odd. She was a great teacher and I have nothing bad to say about her at all. It was just a different time."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Birthday spankings and punches. Giphy

"Yessssss! I'm in MD and was in elementary school in the 80's. If it was our birthday we would pick another kid to spank us in front of the whole grade, so if turning 9 you would get 9 smacks on your butt and all the kids would shout "ONE! TWO!..." 😂😂😂😂 I can't imagine that happening now!"

"Oh god! In a school club we would all line up and the birthday girl to crawl between all our legs as we spanked her on birthdays. What a crazy tradition!"

"The spanking machine! Kids would line up in a row, legs open, and you would crawl through, while kids slapped your butt. Sometimes singing 'today is spankin’ day!'"

Later, the birthday spankings evolved in birthday arm punches — again, one for every year. It's really hard to imagine anyone getting away with this in 2025.

Actual spankings. With a paddle. At school.

School principals, vice principals and sometimes teachers kept a paddle at their desk, which would be used to whack kids who misbehaved. Corporal punishment was the gold standard for behavior modification. Hacking, whacking, paddling—so many names for this woefully outdated practice.

"The big paddle that one of the teachers would possess that would be used on your hind quarters at their whim. No parent permission needed."

"The (completely backward) school I attended in 7th grade in 1999-2000 still spanked kids. My math teacher spanked a kid in class at least once a week. This was the deep south and very different from other schools I went to, it was quite the culture shock."

"I would get the paddle or else my desk kicked over while I was in it, my head would hit that floor HARD! I don’t know which was worse."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Corporal punishment in schools. Giphy

"In 1987 my mom walked me into the school office and told everyone including the principle that under NO circumstances is anyone to paddle or spank me for discipline and if I misbehaved they were to simply call her about it. Their jaws dropped. That would not have happened anyways because I was a very well behaved and respectful child."

"I definitely got the big paddle in the vice principal's office."

Shockingly, "corporal punishment" as it's called is still legal in many states and regularly practiced in some private schools.

Smoking indoors everywhere

It's impossible to explain to young people today how ubiquitous smoking used to be. Like, it was considered rude not to have ashtrays in your home. High schools had smoking areas. Restaurants, airplanes, waiting rooms—people smoked everywhere.

"I can recall the nurses at the triage in the hospital in my home town, smoking away while working. The 80s man, crazy time."

"I was born in 82, there’s a picture of my mother holding me shortly after I was born, laying in a hospital bed, and on her bedside table is a pack of reds and an ashtray."

"And on airplanes and trains. I remember riding the L in Chicago with people smoking on the cars."

"Smoking in class at college."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Smoking indoors. Giphy

"Smoking in grocery stores and putting out butts on the floor.

Teachers with ash trays on their desks smoking during class."

"My parents didn't smoke, but they (1970s) kept a guest ashtray in the house in case a visitor wanted to light up. Complained endlessly about the smoke smell once the person was gone, but it would have been rude to tell them to take it outside or wait."

The first question a restaurant hostess used to ask you was "Smoking or non-smoking?" if you can believe it.

Sexual harassment

Not that this was ever normal or acceptable, but it was tolerated to a disturbing level.

"Until Anita Hill, I had never even heard the term Sexual Harassment. I literally had no idea it was a thing. You were female, you were employed, men could make insistent advances with zero repercussions. One of my co-workers finally slept with the boss just to try to get him to leave her alone. This was NORMAL. We expected it to happen and accepted that it would, we just had to deal with it."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Rampant sexual harassment. Giphy

"I was told to lighten up because it was a compliment."

" I got my first job in 1973 when I was 15. I worked in the restaurant business and waited tables all through college. It was pervasive and customers (men) would say many unwanted things as well. My first adult job was selling pharmaceuticals in 1984 and the first thing my regional manager told me during orientation was if a doctor did or said anything inappropriate handle it anyway you saw fit and then call and tell me about. He made it clear we didn’t have to put up with any BS and were free to slap anyone if we needed to. By the nineties sexual harassment wasn’t gone but was getting called out in a big way. Until there was a name for sexual harassment we knew we were uncomfortable but didn’t really have a way to express it in a meaningful and united manner."

"My friends and I were grabbed constantly in middle school by boys in early 90s. It never occurred to us to tell anyone and I honestly don’t think they would have cared. We just shared our shame amongst ourselves."

"Men would randomly grab and touch women all the time when I was growing up. Boomers were the worst about it, but I’m GenX and even we had it somewhat normalized. We’d gotten a clue that it wasn’t great, but we hadn’t yet realized it was actually sexual assault when someone would fondle your butt or breasts unbidden. Or when someone would grab you and kiss you. If you complained you were told to lighten up."

Watching old films and TV shows can be a bit cringeworthy for this exact reason. Inappropriate comments and contact at work was often seen as a joke and "just good fun."

The drastic policing of what women wore under their clothes

Imagine having all the girls line up in gym class while the teacher runs his finger down each girl's back to make sure she was wearing a bra. Imagine it being unheard of to not wear pantyhose and show bare skin on your legs while wearing a skirt. We still police what women and girls wear in some places, but it's not as bad as it used to be.

"I’ve been told that women were expected to wear 'foundation garments' at work, and if they didn’t, then they might get reprimanded. I’m talking about longline bras and girdles."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Policing of women's underwear. Giphy

"In the 80s, one of my friends got sent to the office for not wearing a bra to high school."

"Until 1999, I was required to wear pantyhose at work. Nuts! And they dictated 'suntan' color!"

"Not sure what I spent more $ on - pantyhose or clear nail polish to stop the runs."

"I remember being a kid in the 90s my mom going from store to store looking for slips to put under my dresses, she had a whole section of her closet devoted to them. I hated them and didn't understand their purpose. Still don't. I'm so glad those are in the past."

People shared other things as well, such as how common it was to touch total strangers or to cut through people's yards to get to where you were going, and it's a wild ride through shifting social norms. Some things are definitely best left in the past, but some lend themselves to a stronger sense of community and might be worth revisiting. It does make you wonder what things from today will show up on a list like this decades from now.

You can see more on the r/AskOldPeople thread here.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.