upworthy

A 'Simpsons' animator's real-life struggle inspired a cartoon for kids with disabilities.

As long as animator Chance Raspberry can remember, he's held a pencil in his hand.

When he was 11, Raspberry broke the family VCR by skipping it backward and forward, pausing it to copy the images from Disney's "Sleepy Hollow" into an old notebook. Other days, he sat hunched over the desk in his room, mimicking the jet-black pen strokes that made Spiderman come to life.

For Raspberry, drawing pictures was a window to the rest of the world.

It was the '80s, and at the time, he was coping with Tourette's syndrome, a disorder health professionals and people close to Raspberry knew little about. It meant he often engaged in behaviors that no one could predict or control.

The tics, which started as unusual bouts of excess energy, often caused Raspberry to do dangerous things — like venture into the street in the middle of a preschool class.

Image courtesy of Chance Raspberry.

Once, Raspberry alarmed his preschool staff by perching on top of a jungle gym, pretending to shoot classmates with an imaginary bow and arrow. When they told him to stop, he literally couldn't.

As a result, Raspberry was often sent home, his parents pleading with school administrators who didn't understand him and his behavior. When he was 8, the tics started to manifest in sudden, violent outbursts.

"The worst tics were when I would repeatedly slap myself across the face. I would have to hit myself in alternating patterns of five and 10. On top of that, I had this tic where I needed to rub my right cheek against my right shoulder, and eventually I got a rash," Raspberry explains.

When he felt alone, Raspberry found solace in the zany world of cartoons, where high energy was normal.

Image courtesy of Chance Raspberry.

He began to draw. But being an artist — and one with a disability — didn't make everything easier for Raspberry. Classmates would often try to startle him just to see what he would do. Sometimes, they would even ruin his drawings.

"I remember I used to make this sound, like ‘weeee,’ obsessively. One time I left my desk to find that this drawing I was working on for hours was gone. I came back, and the drawing had this ‘weee’ written all across the top. It was destroyed, and I was really mad, because it had taken me so long,” Raspberry recalls.

He channeled all of his energy into his drawings, even ignoring the occasional teacher who would rip the pencil sketches from his hands in class and crumple them into the trash. Despite it all, his drawings got better and better.

16 years, countless hours, and thousands of cartoon sketches later, Raspberry ended up with a career drawing the same unruly boy who inspired him as a kid: Bart Simpson.

Image courtesy of Chance Raspberry.

Raspberry says he always loved Bart "because he's this outsider, rebel spirit — but he's never been ashamed. He doesn't regret being different."

"I think as a kid who had these feelings of being an outsider and being different, I loved watching Bart getting into trouble and seeing these stories told through the eyes of someone my age," he says.

After winning a group Emmy for his work on the Simpsons at 28, Raspberry decided he wanted to do more for other kids with neurological differences. He wanted to help those kids — and people around them — understand why thinking differently needs to be not only accepted, but celebrated.

Drawing from his own childhood experiences, Raspberry found the inspiration for the new animated show he's developing called "Little Billy."

Little Billy Harper. GIF courtesy of Chance Raspberry.

Like Raspberry, Billy is a young boy with a neuro-cognitive disability — only Billy's is a fictional one called "ultra-hyper-sensitivity." People around Billy don't often understand him, and some people even find him dangerous.

“I am basing this on my actual life, and I had all of these issues with my teachers and not getting along or following the order of things," he says. The show is largely based on Raspberry's life around age 4, when his abundance of energy made him realize he was different from other kids.

In 2014, Raspberry raised $30,000 on Kickstarter to help bring "Little Billy" to life. He's currently finishing the pilot and continues to work full time as a character layout artist on "The Simpsons."

Image courtesy of Chance Raspberry.

Raspberry channeled his abundance of energy into creating the completely hand-drawn series — the trailer alone required a whopping 1,372 drawings.

The goal of the series is to tap into the nostalgia of childhood in an entertaining, healing way while also creating visibility around what it's like to grow up with special needs.

"The show will explore in full in an honest way how a family that is dealing with this goes through it, how they’re affected," Raspberry says.

"Just because we're different, it doesn't mean we're broken."

Watch the trailer for "Little Billy" below:

Mental Health

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

via TEDx SF/Flickr and TEDx SF/Flickr

Mel Robbins making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations, and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control (or the illusion of it) when it does us no good was perfectly distilled into two words that everyone can understand: "Let Them." This is officially known as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video posted in May 2023.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose?

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” one viewer wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”

let them theory, let it be, paul mccartney, the beatles, exhalethe beatles wave GIFGiphy

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
psychology
Health

Therapists reveal the five things you should never say to someone with anxiety

"Your feelings make sense."

www.publicdomainpictures.net, Free Stock Photo

A man looks anxious.

Anxiety disorder affects nearly one-fifth of the population—just in the U.S. alone. NAMI.org reports that over 19 percent of Americans suffer from an anxiety disorder, which should be distinguished from regular, run-of-the-mill "adrenaline" nerves that someone might get from public speaking or being stuck in traffic.

For those in the know, it can feel debilitating at times. As with many mental health diagnoses, there's a range of severity and causes. We're either "born with it" genetically, or a traumatic event may have occurred that triggers it. No matter why or "how badly" it occurs, it can feel especially isolating to those who endure it—and to those who want to help but don't know what to say or do. Therapy can help - and when needed, medication. But understanding it, for everyone involved, can be tricky.

- YouTube Clip about anxietywww.youtube.com, Psych Hub

Anxiety is not like a cold you can catch and treat with an antibiotic. It's hard to explain exactly what it feels like to someone who doesn’t experience it. The best way I can describe it is that you're always sitting in the uncomfortable cesspool of anticipation.

I don't just mean existential angst like, "Is there an afterlife?" or "Will I die alone?" I mean, like this: "Will my car shut down in a busy intersection? What if I need a root canal again someday? (I will.) Will he call? What if my dog walker forgets to come while I'm temping? What if someone runs a red light? Did I say the right thing at the party? Am I shrill? What's my blood pressure?" Are you exhausted yet? Imagine big and small questions like this running continuously on a loop through the grey matter of a brain, dipping in and out of the logic in the frontal lobe and then click, click, clicking as it gets snagged on a jagged edge and repeats… again and again and again.

anxiety, spinning, looping, mental healthA record spins on a loop.Giphy GIF by Shingo2

Though well-intentioned, there are solutions people often offer that—at least for me—tend to make the tension worse. Many mental health therapists have weighed in on the phrases best to avoid and have offered more helpful alternatives.

1) On laureltherapy.net, they begin with the old chestnut: "JUST RELAX."

When every synapse in your brain is on high alert, someone telling you to "just bring it down a notch" only makes it worse. It's literally the opposite of what your brain chemistry (and not by choice) is doing. It's similar to "Just calm down," which for the same reason, can feel dismissive and unhelpful.

They offer instead: "I'M HERE FOR YOU." It acknowledges your discomfort and gives a soft space to fall.

2) Another sentence to avoid: "YOU'RE TOO SENSITIVE."

This would be like telling someone with a physical disability that it's their fault. Instead, they offer: "YOUR FEELINGS MAKE SENSE."

Sometimes you just want to feel seen/heard—especially by those closest to you. The last thing one needs is to feel bad about already feeling bad.

3) On Everydayhealth.com, Michelle Pugle (as reviewed by Seth Gillihan, PhD) cites Helen Egger, MD, and gives this advice:

Don't say "YOU'RE OVERTHINKING IT."

She gives a few options to try instead, but my favorite is: "YOU'RE SAFE."

It might sound cheesy, but when I'm really spinning, it's nice to know someone is by my side and not judging my mind for thinking differently than theirs.

4) Pugle also advises against saying "WORRYING WON'T CHANGE ANYTHING."

I can't tell you how often this gets said to me and while—perhaps—it’s true, it again implies there's nothing one can do in a moment of panic. She writes:

"Trying to soothe someone’s anxiety by telling them their thoughts aren’t productive, worthwhile, or that they’re a waste of time also invalidates their feelings and may even leave them feeling more distressed than before," Egger explains.

Instead, try: "DO YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING TO TAKE YOUR MIND OF THINGS?"
This gives the impression that someone is actually willing to help and participate, not just critique.

5) "IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD."
The late Carrie Fisher once wrote about how much she hated when people would say that to her—as if that were somehow comforting. To paraphrase, her response was essentially: "I know. it's my head Get it out of there!"


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Laurel Therapy suggests instead to try: "ANXIETY CAN BE REALLY TOUGH." Personally, I'd prefer: "HOW CAN I HELP?"

While it might at times feel frustrating, the key, when dealing with anxiety, is to be cognizant that you're not shaming or condescending.

Here are a few more concepts that help me:

GRATITUDE

I saw a movie called About Time a few years ago written by Richard Curtis who has a propensity to get sappy. But this quote is bloody beautiful: "I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life." I simply love the idea of pretending like we've time traveled to every single moment of our lives on purpose. And this especially helps the anxious-prone because if it's true that we're always tooling around in an unpredictable future rather than sitting where time wants us to be, it makes sense that we were there and have come back to a moment to show it respect. To view every day and every thought as a gift instead of a fear. Now that is something.

BREATHE

I'm sure you've heard about the benefits of meditation. They are true. I have seen the practice of minding your breath and sitting still make huge differences in those close to me. I have not been able to make meditation a part of my daily routine, but that doesn't mean I can't strive to. (Try, try again.) I do partake in Yoga and I find it helps slow my mind down considerably.

KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS

Our amygdales (the part of the brain, which among other roles, elicits our response to threats, real or perceived) can play nasty tricks on us. We are not the sum total of every thought we've ever had. On the contrary, I believe that we are what we do, not what we think. Our anxiety (or depression) doesn't have to define us, especially when we know we're responding to many threats that don't even exist. We can be of service to others instead. Volunteer when possible or simply be kind to those around you every day. That is what makes us who we are. Personally, that idea soothes me.

From Your Site Articles
anxiety
Family

Woman who traveled abroad for 2 weeks realizes why she can't marry an American man

"I'm actually embarrassed to talk about this."

via Canva/Photos

A woman holding back her laughter.

One of the biggest topics in parenting these days is the mental and physical drain that comes with being the default parent in a family. The default parent is the one who is first in line when it comes to taking responsibility for parenting duties, whether that means making doctor’s appointments, ensuring the homework is done, or making sure the child has enough socks to make it through the week.

Being the default parent can lead to fatigue and burnout, and the parent can experience incredible anxiety when their attention turns away from the household or family. The situation is even worse when the default parent’s partner only does the bare minimum. Unfortunately, in American society, fathers are often the parents who do just enough to get by and are praised for it.

The notion that men don’t have to pull their equal weight in American family life is so ingrained that when Emma Hughes, a travel nanny with over one year of experience in childcare and family support, visited Sweden for two weeks, she experienced extreme culture shock.


"I've been in Sweden now and I think I've been ruined for American men," the 24-year-old said in a viral Instagram video. "Specifically raising a child with an American man in America, because these Scandinavian dads? Chef's kiss …"

"I'm actually embarrassed to talk about this because all of the observations that I've made have really revealed to me how deeply ingrained [expletive] dads have become like in my brain, and it's just like the default,” she continued.

The notion that fathers only have to do the bare minimum was so ingrained in Hughes’ psyche that she couldn’t understand seeing so many involved fathers in Sweden.

sweden, swedish dad, swedish fathers, soccer, swedish childA dad playing soccer with his child.via Canva/Photos

"When I see more dads pushing their strollers in the park on a Saturday morning than moms, what does my brain think … That's weird, there is something abnormal about that,” Hughes said. “When I see dads at the grocery store with their kids. When I see dads out at restaurants or in public. It is so deeply telling of a lot of subconscious stuff that I have going on in my brain after working with so many families."

She said that even the best dads she's worked with in America would be considered the "Scandinavian bare minimum." She applauded one Swedish father who purchased a new size of diapers for his baby without being told to do so by his partner.

swedes, swedish couple, scandanavia, swedish flag, happy swedesA couple holding up the Swedish flag.via Canva/Photos

"Like I watched a Swedish dad go to the grocery store and come home with like four bags of groceries and in that trip he had bought size two diapers for a baby that had previously been wearing size one and was ready to move into size two but that conversation had not happened between the mom and the dad,” she said.

Given Swedish dads' dedication towards their parenting responsibilities, it’s fair to assume that their partners are much happier and stress-free than those in the States. But what about their kids? Researchers at the United Nations who studied “child well-being in rich countries” found that Swedish fathers also ranked high by their children. The survey asked children in 28 countries if it was easy to talk to their dads, and while 67% of children in the study said their parents were easy to talk to, Swedish fathers scored higher at 72.4%. Meanwhile, the U.S ranked 25, out of 28, at just 59.7%.

sweden, swedish dad, swedish fathers, swedish child, dad reading note, A Swedish dad reading a note. via Canva/Photos

Ultimately, Hughes makes an important point that Scandinavian men have set a high bar for being fathers and that American men need to step up. The positive sign is that in America, the discussion around default parenting has been getting louder and louder, and hopefully, that will prompt more American men and women to set higher expectations so that one day, American men can catch Sweden’s.

From Your Site Articles
sweden
Kids

Photos of school lunch tray in South Korea sparks debate about how American kids eat

It sure has adults' mouths watering, though.

Canva Photos

Kids in South Korea sometimes get served lobster tails with school lunch.

School lunch in the United States has a complicated history. While many of us who grew up in the 80s or 90s are nostalgic for some of the menu items we remember fondly (rectangle pizza, anyone?), some of the serving choices were bizarre. We really grew up with someone handing us a tray of pizza, french fries, chocolate milk, and soggy green beans every morning at 10:30am.

The offerings have improved somewhat over the years, but everything's still so... beige. The main choices are typically pizza, chicken nuggets, or some form of questionable ground beef like burgers or meatloaf. Some people are stunned when they find out that school lunches from around the world can look very different.

A photo of lunch served at a school in South Korea recently went viral and had everyone's mouth watering.

A user on Reddit posted the photos to r/pics where they immediately racked up over 17,000 upvotes.

The colors on the tray stick out immediately, most notably the noodles covered in creamy red sauce. But it's really the stuffed lobster tail that's the star of this particular tray; potentially lobster thermidor.

You expect to see some cultural differences in the food offerings in different countries. Korean food is inherently different than American food in a number of ways. But Americans love lobster! Yet can you imagine American schools serving lobster tail to kids under any circumstances?

Take a look at the mouth-watering spread here:

from pics

The response from mostly-American users was fascinating. Some were in awe while others rightly pointed out why a lunch like this would never fly in the USA.

One of the main sentiments was that school lunches in other countries often put ours to utter shame:

"I used to teach in Korea and the lunches were always amazing, the beef and quails egg stew was a constant highlight."

"I studied in Korea for 6 months on uni exchange. The food at the uni cafeteria looked just like this, and was 10/10. My private room at the uni lodge was $500USD for the WHOLE semester, and included unlimited food."

"I live in Spain and my kid's school invited the parents to taste lunch one day. It was fantastic. Also, at the end of each month they share a calendar of the meals that will be served during the next one, day by day. They're all balanced, and prepared with proximity food. They prepare specific meals for every kid with allergies/intolerances/any kind of dietary restriction, e.g. restrictions related to religion. They also share a list of dinner suggestions - again, for the whole month - so you have ideas for dinners that are healthy, easy, cheap, and tasty for kids. It's a public school."

"I am from a third world country where many public schools lack a ton of funding and even we have better more healthy lunches than the slop that’s given to US students. I know because I went to school in the US and also in my home country."

"America hates its f*cking kids. It will always mistreat them and deny them opportunities."

"Lobster as a school lunch??? I need to go back to elementary school... I'll quit work for education and a lunch like that!"

school lunch, food, school, kids, nutrition, health, elementary school, politics, government, FDANow here's a balanced and nutritious meal.Giphy

Others, while impressed with the selection, had their doubts about if American schools could ever adopt something like this:

"This lunch is orders of magnitude better then US school lunches. And most American kids would utterly hate it."

"American kids have no palette! It’s all chicken nuggets and mac & cheese! ... I know some kids that would starve rather than try anything on that tray."

Some pointed out that those metal chopsticks would likely be used as a weapon almost immediately, and discontinued ASAP.

Americans, as a whole, have a dreadful diet devoid of enough nutrition and it causes catastrophic health problems in the longterm. For clues as to why, you can look at what we feed our kids — and why.


school lunch, food, school, kids, nutrition, health, elementary school, politics, government, FDAIt's normal for kids to be picky eaters. When it continues into adulthood, it can be a root cause of health problems. Photo by MD Duran on Unsplash

No, most American kids probably wouldn't like lobster tail. But there is a lot that goes into how our palette develops that might help explain it.

For starters, fresh produce and lean proteins are extremely expensive in America. It's far more cost-effective to pump people full of cheap, empty calories and sugar. School lunch used to be cooked fresh every day in the schools before major government budget cuts forced districts to more heavily on lean on frozen or reheated options. Kids get used to chicken nuggies all day every day from a young age!

The irony is that school lunches in American, while not overly exciting, at least meet some basic nutritional guidelines. But they're not free for everyone, and even kids who qualify for free or reduced lunch may not end up participating due to stigma or red-tape. When parents on a shoestring budget have to buy their own lunch supplies, things can get a lot worse than meatloaf and green beans. We all knew a few kids in school who had Pop Tarts for lunch every day. To be fair, we were all jealous at the time.

And finally, Americans sure love to get fired up about our "right" to eat like crap. When Michelle Obama tried to clean up the school lunch program, she ran into massive pushback. RFK Jr. wants to do his own version of it, and we'll see how that goes.

The viral photo from South Korea shows what might be possible with a few key cultural and political shifts. Treating feeding our kids more like "preventive medicine" versus a cost to manage would definitely be a start.


From Your Site Articles
kids
Celebrity

Hugh Grant reveals the 'manly' reason his favorite film could be an issue for his wife

"I was a von Trapp daughter at the age of 12."

en.m.wikipedia.org

Hugh Grant poses on the red carpet.

Notorious lovable grouch, Hugh Grant, might have had a bit of a 'bad-boy' reputation in the past. And he doesn't often hold back in terms of what's really on his mind. But when it comes to 1960s musicals about an Austrian family, he has quite the soft spot.

On numerous occasions, Hugh has been asked to reveal his favorite film. His answer never wavers and it's unequivocally The Sound of Music. Based on the 1949 real-life story of Maria von Trapp's memoir, this became a Tony Award-winning Broadway hit in the late fifties, followed by the film adaptation in the mid-sixties. It follows the life of Maria Rainer, who while training to be a nun, is sent to be the governess of seven children of a widowed father - all on the cusp of the second World War in Austria.

On a recent Q and A for Outstandingscreenplays.com, however, Hugh added that his love for this film has become a bit of an issue.

@outstandingscreenplays

#HughGrant was playing a girl in #SoundofMusic and now it's his Favorite Film ever 😉 #screenwriting #screenwriter #screenplay #fyp #shorts #filmtok #author #writer #films

In various clips put together for the site, Hugh explains, "I was a von Trapp daughter in The Sound of Music at the age of 12. I was Brigitta. I remember very well my white dress with blue satin sash. And I remember my line: 'I'm Brigitta. I'm 12. And all I want is a good time.'" This is followed by laughter, with Hugh adding, "I was rather good."

He then charmingly shares, "It's a difficult situation. I'm married to a Swedish woman. She comes from the north of Sweden, where men are REALLY men. They're so manly, they hardly speak. And they chop wood. What they don't do is watch The Sound of Music in the afternoons and sing along with the Mother Superior when she sings 'Climb Every Mountain.'

And they certainly don't cry when the father is touched by his children singing and then joins in." The clip then cuts to a quick clip of Christopher Plummer singing as Baron von Trapp. Hugh buttons it up by assuring, "But I do cry."

- YouTube, Christopher Plummer, The Sound of Musicwww.youtube.com

Hugh's wife, Anna Eberstein, is a Swedish producer, who also happens to be the daughter of an extremely accomplished Swedish politician. She and Hugh share three children, and he has gushed over her in the many years they've been linked.

The comment sections seem to adoringly swoon over both Hugh's love for the movie and the playful ribbing of his wife. A common theme? He's too irresistible to ever not admire. "He's just so adorable (however much he pretends not to be)." Another: "I've tried not to love him, but he keeps pulling me back in."

This TikToker has a wish, which frankly seems rather attainable: "I'd love to see Hugh Grant meet Julie Andrews."

Julie Andrews, The Sound of Music, Hugh Grant, Films, MusicalsJulie Andrews spins in the Sound of Music Giphy The Rodgers & Hammerstein Organization

Others can relate to his unapologetic adoration of the film . "To be fair, it's impossible not to cry on that scene. LOVE The Sound of Music."

One person jokingly comments, "Actually accurate—in northern Sweden, people don’t talk, they just inhale air to communicate. True story." But there's pushback on the notion that a man can't love this musical AND chop wood. "I made my Irish husband come live with me in north Sweden. He loves Sound of Music. He also chops wood."

From Your Site Articles
hugh grant
Trending Stories