6 Muslim American women share their thoughts on the election.

    
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Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights

"How can someone tell me that this is America and I can't be Muslim here?"

Those are the words of undergraduate student Shahrin Azim. She is a 19-year-old neuroscience student who was one of eight people interviewed as part of an eye-opening photo series profiling Muslim American women ahead of the presidential election.

For Azim, learning about others being attacked for their beliefs is "excruciatingly painful," she said in an interview with the Turkish news site Anadolu Agency. And with hate crimes against Muslims on the rise, it's hard to see a silver lining.

"It's difficult to think about the things that are said to them ... that their people are terrorists and that they should go back to wherever they came from."

During this contentious election season it's easy for these individual voices to get lost in the static of scandals, leaks, and hateful rhetoric. But their perspectives shed a light on a topic that is rarely discussed.

Here are six of those voices talking about their experiences this election season:

1. Shabih Aftab, financial analyst for the Gap Inc.'s global online marketing team

Shabih Aftab photographed on Oct. 31, 2016. Photo by Mohammed Elshamy/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images.

"As a hijabi woman, I am a prominent symbol of Islam and that makes people uncomfortable. Not only about me, but it makes them uncomfortable when I seek success. I try 10 times as hard for the same job than my non-Muslim counterparts work for. We need to accept that women, as it is, have unequal rights in the work place, but when you are a minority it's that much harder. With Islamophobia on the rise, I have to make myself stronger in my faith and steadfast in my morals. I cannot and will not change who I am to make others feel at ease and believe I am worthy of that job or that promotion. This is the same piece of advice I tell my younger sister. We are women who deserve a place at the table, not because we are Muslim, but because we are strong, confident, intelligent and conscious despite what Trump supporters want us to believe. We are told our hijabs hold us back and I firmly disagree. The hijab empowers me to be the best example I can be to show people that 'I am a force.'"

2. Sara Zayed, technology analyst on Wall Street

Sara Zayed photographed on October 28, 2016. Photo by Mohammed Elshamy/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images.

"It's surreal that I'm regularly in the heart of New York during these tumultuous elections. As a Muslim woman, I've experienced more love than hatred this year — my non-Muslim friends have reinforced their respect and value for me and my identity, and I've never felt more propped up by people of different communities and backgrounds. However, that doesn't mean I don't experience fear. When New York was bombed last month and the bomber was revealed to be a Muslim man, I was terrified to go into the city, worried I may experience backlash as a visibly identifiable Muslim woman. So although I'm experiencing wonderful support, I'm also regularly on my guard and keep a look out for potential danger. I don't underestimate the fact that my hijab has now become a political statement. I firmly believe the best thing my Muslim sisters can do at this time is hold their heads high and continue to break barriers. That in itself is the greatest statement of strength we can offer the world."

3. Marwa Janini, immigration caseworker and instructor at City University of New York

Marwa Janini photographed on Oct. 29, 2016. Photo byMohammed Elshamy/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images.

"Growing up amidst the climate of Islamophobic rhetoric, I have faced many challenges that come with being a visible Muslim American woman. I have often had to defend my faith against unwarranted verbal attacks and misconceptions. These experiences were compounded with the paternalistic reality that exists in many Arab immigrant communities, and I am a living embodiment of a woman breaking the mold. While these experiences have had a role in shaping my identity as a Muslim American woman, I refuse to be confined by them. I choose to focus on the positive influence I can have as a successful Muslim American woman, breaking down barriers and proving that the narrative of oppression and voicelessness is baseless and untrue.

4. Mahroh Jahangiri, executive director at Know Your IX

Mahroh Jahangiri photographed on Oct. 25, 2016. Photo by Mohammed Elshamy/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images.

"To be a Muslim woman doing anti-violence work in the United States right now is to really be filled with fury. On the one hand, there is a presidential candidate who has waged a campaign to silence women he’s sexually assaulted. As an advocate organizing against gender violence, I certainly welcome the ensuing outrage. It makes it harder to ignore the fact that gender violence is a very common problem. But, I find it hard not to still feel frustrated. I am frustrated that this candidate's comments (and the other candidate's policies) that have regularly hurt and killed so many people of color are not similarly sufficient to generate outrage. Yesterday, the bedroom of two Muslim girls at my little sister's university had 'terrorist' written on it. In the weeks prior, two friends were assaulted in anti-Muslim attacks. Where is mainstream outrage over stuff like this? ... This past week, my organization just published an 145-page Campus Organizing Toolkit on creating campaigns to fight violence. I am so excited to get this in the hands of young angry people. And I am so grateful to be surrounded by many angry women of color Muslim women, Native, Black, Latina women who are leading fights (against sexual assault, pipelines, against police & prisons) to end violence against people."

5. Nagla Bedir, social studies teacher

Nagla Bedir photographed on Oct. 29, 2016. Photo by Mohammed Elshamy/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images.

"Although there has been a rise in hate speech and Islamophobia, I have been fortunate to work in a district filled with many supportive people. I have had to deal with dirty looks, and some negative comments from co-workers, and the overall ignorance of the majority of the people around me, but on the contrary, the majority of these ignorant people are very curious and willing to learn. … I think some people hear American Muslim and think that is a contradiction. … The ignorance that surrounds Muslims is very frustrating. People avoid coming near me, I get dirty looks and/or am stared at, and I’ve been called a terrorist, Taliban, and a rag-head. Islamophobia has been around since before 9/11 and it has increased and decreased throughout the years. Recently, it has become an even more vitriol disease plaguing our country. … From one extreme people telling me I shouldn’t wear hijab or follow Islam and then on the other end being told I’m too modern and don’t fit the mold of what a Muslim woman is supposed to be. … My family and friends have continuously pushed me to face adversities and succeed despite them. I am not afraid of failure and push myself to try to be the best at everything. What motivates me the most is my students. Their education is the number one priority in my life. So how am I successful woman despite all of these issues? The reason is them."

6. Shahrin Azim, undergraduate student in neuroscience

Shahrin Azim photographed on Oct. 31, 2016. Photo by Mohammed Elshamy/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images.

"As a Muslim woman, I can't help but think about all the young Muslims who are just starting to love their identity or recognize their roots, and how they are being bullied or beaten in school for following a faith that is so horribly misunderstood. It's difficult to think about the things that are said to them by their peers, teachers, and even other adults who they see every day, tell them that their people are terrorists and that they should go back to wherever they came from. People say, 'There is no room in this country for people like you! This is America!' Yes, it is America, a country founded on the values of religious freedom. The pilgrims escaped from England to come here and practice their faith. How can someone tell me that this is America and I can't be Muslim here. I wish that they would realize their hypocrisy. I wish that they could understand that I'm not a terrorist, nor am I associated with any of those groups. Islam is just another monotheistic religion that is very similar to Christianity and Judaism. It is not a faith that condones violence against innocent people, or oppresses women. My religion is part of who I am and I will not let anyone's hate strip me of my faith."

Now that the presidential election is here, these women are a powerful reminder of the many unheard voices.

It's important to have an open and honest discussion about what life in America is like for different people. In an election season like this, empathy — walking in someone else’s shoes — could be the most important tool we have.

Let your voice be heard and make sure to vote!

Connections Academy

Parenting

Finding hope, healing and help to support youth mental health

Connections Academy

Wylee Mitchell is a senior at Nevada Connections Academy who started a t-shirt company to raise awareness for mental health.

True

Teens of today live in a totally different world than the one their parents grew up in. Not only do young people have access to technologies that previous generations barely dreamed of, but they're also constantly bombarded with information from the news and media.

Today’s youth are also living through a pandemic that has created an extra layer of difficulty to an already challenging age—and it has taken a toll on their mental health.

According to Mental Health America, nearly 14% of youths ages 12 to 17 experienced a major depressive episode in the past year. In a September 2020 survey of high schoolers by Active Minds, nearly 75% of respondents reported an increase in stress, anxiety, sadness and isolation during the first six months of the pandemic. And in a Pearson and Connections Academy survey of US parents, 66% said their child felt anxious or depressed during the pandemic.

However, the pandemic has only exacerbated youth mental health issues that were already happening before COVID-19.

“Many people associate our current mental health crisis with the pandemic,” says Morgan Champion, the head of counseling services for Connections Academy Schools. “In fact, the youth mental health crisis was alarming and on the rise before the pandemic. Today, the alarm continues.”

Mental Health America reports that most people who take the organization’s online mental health screening test are under 18. According to the American Psychiatric Association, about 50% of cases of mental illness begin by age 14, and the tendency to develop depression and bipolar disorder nearly doubles from age 13 to age 18.

Such statistics demand attention and action, which is why experts say destigmatizing mental health and talking about it is so important.

“Today we see more people talking about mental health openly—in a way that is more akin to physical health,” says Champion. She adds that mental health support for young people is being more widely promoted, and kids and teens have greater access to resources, from their school counselors to support organizations.

Parents are encouraging this support too. More than two-thirds of American parents believe children should be introduced to wellness and mental health awareness in primary or middle school, according to a new Global Learner Survey from Pearson. Since early intervention is key to helping young people manage their mental health, these changes are positive developments.

In addition, more and more people in the public eye are sharing their personal mental health experiences as well, which can help inspire young people to open up and seek out the help they need.

“Many celebrities and influencers have come forward with their mental health stories, which can normalize the conversation, and is helpful for younger generations to understand that they are not alone,” says Champion.

That’s one reason Connections Academy is hosting a series of virtual Emotional Fitness talks with Olympic athletes who are alums of the virtual school during Mental Health Awareness Month. These talks are free, open to the public and include relatable topics such as success and failure, leadership, empowerment and authenticity. For instance, on May 18, Olympic women’s ice hockey player Lyndsey Fry will speak on finding your own style of confidence, and on May 25, Olympic figure skater Karen Chen will share advice for keeping calm under pressure.

Family support plays a huge role as well. While the pandemic has been challenging in and of itself, it has actually helped families identify mental health struggles as they’ve spent more time together.

“Parents gained greater insight into their child’s behavior and moods, how they interact with peers and teachers,” says Champion. “For many parents this was eye-opening and revealed the need to focus on mental health.”

It’s not always easy to tell if a teen is dealing with normal emotional ups and downs or if they need extra help, but there are some warning signs caregivers can watch for.

“Being attuned to your child’s mood, affect, school performance, and relationships with friends or significant others can help you gauge whether you are dealing with teenage normalcy or something bigger,” Champion says. Depending on a child’s age, parents should be looking for the following signs, which may be co-occurring:

Perpetual depressed mood
Rocky friend relationships
Spending a lot of time alone and refusing to participate in daily activities
Too much or not enough sleep
Not eating a regular diet
Intense fear or anxiety
Drug or alcohol use
Suicidal ideation (talking about being a burden or giving away possessions) or plans

“You know your child best. If you are unsure if your child is having a rough time or if there is something more serious going on, it is best to reach out to a counselor or doctor to be sure,” says Champion. “Always err on the side of caution.”

If it appears a student does need help, what next? Talking to a school counselor can be a good first step, since they are easily accessible and free to visit.

“Just getting students to talk about their struggles with a trusted adult is huge,” says Champion. “When I meet with students and/or their families, I work with them to help identify the issues they are facing. I listen and recommend next steps, such as referring families to mental health resources in their local areas.”

Just as parents would take their child to a doctor for a sprained ankle, they shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help if a child is struggling mentally or emotionally. Parents also need to realize that they may not be able to help them on their own, no matter how much love and support they have to offer.

“That is a hard concept to accept when parents can feel solely responsible for their child’s welfare and well-being,” says Champion. “The adage still stands—it takes a village to raise a child. Be sure you are surrounding yourself and your child with a great support system to help tackle life’s many challenges.”

That village can include everyone from close family to local community members to public figures. Helping young people learn to manage their mental health is a gift we can all contribute to, one that will serve them for a lifetime.

Join athletes, Connections Academy and Upworthy for candid discussions on mental health during Mental Health Awareness Month. Learn more and find resources here.

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Dad's TikTok for son showing what his 80s childhood was like is total Gen X nostalgia

@shadyraro/TikTok

TikTok about '80s childhood is a total Gen X flashback.

As a Gen X parent, it's weird to try to describe my childhood to my kids. We're the generation that didn't grow up with the internet or cell phones, yet are raising kids who have never known a world without them. That difference alone is enough to make our 1980s childhoods feel like a completely different planet, but there are other differences too that often get overlooked.

How do you explain the transition from the brown and orange aesthetic of the '70s to the dusty rose and forest green carpeting of the '80s if you didn't experience it? When I tell my kids there were smoking sections in restaurants and airplanes and ashtrays everywhere, they look horrified (and rightfully so—what were we thinking?!). The fact that we went places with our friends with no quick way to get ahold of our parents? Unbelievable.

One day I described the process of listening to the radio, waiting for my favorite song to come on so I could record it on my tape recorder, and how mad I would get when the deejay talked through the intro of the song until the lyrics started. My Spotify-spoiled kids didn't even understand half of the words I said.

And '80s hair? With the feathered bangs and the terrible perms and the crunchy hair spray? What, why and how?

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Jimmy Fallon had people share their worst car stories and they are hilariously relatable

Whatever gets us from A to B, right?

That first car is a rite of passage into adulthood. Specifically, the hard-earned lesson of expectations versus reality. Though some of us are blessed with Teslas at 17, most teenagers receive a car that’s been … let’s say previously loved. And that’s probably a good thing, considering nearly half of first-year drivers end up in wrecks. Might as well get the dings on the lemon, right?

Of course, wrecks aside, buying a used car might end up costing more in the long run after needing repairs, breaking down and just a general slew of unexpected surprises. But hey, at least we can all look back and laugh.

My first car, for example, was a hand-me-down Toyota of some sort from my mother. I don’t recall the specific model, but I definitely remember getting into a fender bender within the first week of having it. She had forgotten to get the brakes fixed … isn’t that a fun story?

Jimmy Fallon recently asked his “Tonight Show” audience on Twitter to share their own worst car experiences. Some of them make my brake fiasco look like cakewalk (or cakedrive, in this case). Either way, these responses might make us all feel a little less alone. Or at the very least, give us a chuckle.

Here are 22 responses with the most horsepower: