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5 real talk ways to teach your teens about safe sexting.

The thought of your teen sexting is terrifying, but it doesn't have to be.

When my friend found out her 14-year-old son was sexting, she flipped out.

It sounds like an all-too-familiar scene for many parents: Her kid left his cellphone unattended. When she heard that "ping," she thoughtlessly grabbed the phone and saw something she now can't unsee: an explicit photo of his girlfriend, who's the same age as he is.

Image via iStock.


She said she immediately became angry. She was mad at the girl who had sent the photo, she was mad at her son for possibly asking for the picture, and I suspect she was also mad at herself for not having an honest, preemptive conversation with her kid about this rather new phenomenon.

My friend immediately confronted her son, whom she says was upset, embarrassed, and mortified all at once.

He didn't want to talk about it, was angry that she had looked at a message on his phone, and stormed into his room. And after such an intense and uncomfortable — albeit brief — confrontation, my friend backed off. They haven't talked about it since.

When I heard this story, I thought, there has to be a better way.

It's important to note there can be legal ramifications for sexting among teens who are not yet legal adults, but the reality is that it might still happen and parents need to be able to discuss it with them.

So I reached out to Nicole Cushman, MPH. She's the executive director at Answer and co-chair of the Sexuality Task Force at the American Public Health Association.  Basically, she knows all about sexting, and her goal is to empower young people through honest, relevant, and effective sexuality education. And boy, did she have some things to teach me.

Sexting occurs when someone sends or receives a sexually explicit text, image, or video on their cellphone.

How many teens nowadays do you see without smartphones? Not very many, right? So while a lot of people sext (I see you, adults), it is also a highly accessible habit for kids who choose to engage. Sexting feels like it was born out of the need for teens to express themselves sexually, merged with all the incredible advances in technology (hello, Snapchat!) over the past 15 years or so.

But for a parent, those sexting waters can be tough to navigate. It's basically the "new" sex talk: How do you talk to your kids about sexting without shaming them? How can you give them some good info (that they'll actually listen to) before they start sexting?

Cushman has some ideas. Here are five small ways to teach your kids about safe sexting:

1. Acknowledge not just the cons, but also the pros of sexting.

Usually, teens who sext are trying to flirt or somehow feel closer to the person they're communicating with, Cushman says. So it's important to first acknowledge that they're exploring their sexuality by expressing sexual feelings, which is totally normal.

Also, consider that sexting is actually completely safe when it comes to physical risks like pregnancy or contracting STDs ... so that's good!

2. It's about educating not just the sender, but also the person on the receiving end.

You know what they say: With great power, comes great responsibility. Cushman advises parents and educators to discuss what's expected from both the sender and the receiver when it comes to sexting.

It's as simple as making it clear that, "Hey, if you're sharing intimate photos or texts with someone, make sure there's an understanding between the both of you that you want to keep those messages private."

Cushman points out that we tend to focus more on the individuals who send the sexts, though, and we pay a lot less attention to those who are receiving the explicit messages. When you really think about it, it is entirely up to them whether a sext goes any further than their phone, so we should be giving kids real talk about what happens on both sides of the phones.

When it comes to talking to your kid who may be receiving sexts, it could be as easy as saying, "Hey, if you're getting explicit texts, it's important you understand this is something very delicate that you've been entrusted with. Make sure you take that responsibility seriously."

Image via iStock.

3. Teach them how to make expectations clear.

This one is important: Talk to your kids about how to have a conversation about privacy. Encourage them to establish expectations of privacy with whoever they're communicating with, and don't be afraid to ask some tough questions while you're at it.

Cushman suggests first asking your teens to think through their relationships and whether or not they can fully trust the other person.

"Many young people might assume that if they send a message to someone they’re in a relationship with or someone they’re flirting with that it’s somehow implied that the message was meant to be private, but we know from the limited research that is out there that that’s often not what happens," Cushman says.

While there should be no shame in sexting, it's incredibly important to help your teens establish expectations too, offering up ways to frame the conversation with their partner, like: “I know this is something you might want and that you think is fun and sexy, but I wanna make sure that you understand before I do this that I’m expecting you to keep this between the two of us.”

4. If sexting goes wrong with your teen, what are some of the repercussions you can expect — both physically and emotionally?

Well, that depends. Certainly there are feelings of embarrassment, shame, and regret. That's understandable. But there can be an added layer of trauma to the teen if he or she starts to get bullied or harassed.

The internet is unpredictable, so if a sext meant to be kept private is somehow shared online, the emotional effects can be devastating. In the most extreme cases, Cushman says some young people have committed suicide after experiencing persistent harassment over photos that were distributed.

5. What should you do if things go wrong and your kid's explicit photos end up going to unintended places?

First things first — support them. Do not assume that it is their fault. Make sure your son or daughter knows you love them.

Sure, you may be angry, disappointed ... all those things a parent would naturally feel in that tricky situation. But don't let it define your kid, and Cushman says, by all means, it's important not to blame them. Do you remember what it was like being young and sexually curious?

The key here is communication and support. Tomorrow is another day and things will get better.

Let's face it: It's probably going to be a little awkward discussing sexting with your kid.

But that's OK. Better to be open and candid with your teens than to let them walk through this unchartered territory alone. Technology is only going to get more sophisticated, so it might even be important to have the "digital sex talk" before your kid starts engaging in this new world on their own.

Take the time to have an open and realistic conversation. Understand that they're sexually curious and now have all this technology to experiment with. Parents are their kids' first teachers, so talk to them about sexting: the good, the bad, and the ugly. That way, if they choose to engage, they have all the information they need to help keep them safe.

Joy

'90s kid shares the 10 lies that everyone's parent told them

"Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

via 90sKid4lyfe/TikTok (used with permission)

90sKidforLife shares 10 lies everyone's parents told in the era.


Children believe everything their parents tell them. So when parents lie to prevent their kids to stop them from doing something dumb, the mistruth can take on a life of its own. The lie can get passed on from generation to generation until it becomes a zombie lie that has a life of its own.

Justin, known as 90sKid4Lyfe on TikTok and Instagram, put together a list of 10 lies that parents told their kids in the ‘90s, and the Gen X kids in the comments thought it was spot on.


“Why was I told EVERY ONE of these?” Brittany, the most popular commenter, wrote. “I heard all of these plus the classic ‘If you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that,’” Amanda added. After just four days of being posted, it has already been seen 250,000 times.

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

@90skid4lyfe

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

1. "You can't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth."

2. "If you pee in the pool, it's gonna turn blue."

3. "Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

4. "If you eat those watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach."

5. "Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

6. "I told you we can't drive with the interior light on. ... It's illegal."

7. "Sitting that close to the TV is going to ruin your vision."

8. "If you keep cracking your knuckles, you're gonna get arthritis."

8. "You just ate, you gotta wait 30 minutes before you can swim."

10. "If you get a tattoo, you won't find a job."


This article originally appeared on 4.26.24

Pop Culture

Ever seen two cellists rocking out to an AC/DC song? It's amazing how well it works.

2Cello's genre-smashing "Thunderstruck" performance has been watched 260 million times.

2Cellos rocks the house with "Thunderstruck."

If someone said, "Name two genres of music on the opposite ends of the spectrum," heavy metal and classical music would be a logical answer. So when you hear that an AC/DC song being played on classical instruments, it can challenge the brain a bit.

(Some folks may ask, "Is AC/DC really considered heavy metal?" By today's standards, no. Compared to thrash, black and death metal, definitely not. But AC/DC has been lumped into the heavy metal genre by everyone from MTV to Encyclopedia Britannica, despite co-founder Angus Young saying they were just a rock band. At the very least, they were metal-adjacent, so let's roll with it.)

"Thunderstruck" is one of those songs people of all ages know at least part of, thanks to its frequent use in movies and television shows. In fact, it's so ubiquitous that when two cellists transition into it from a classical piece, it's instantly recognizable.


Of course, the way they headbang and literally shred their cello bows while playing it also helps.

The cellists dressing in period garb and playing for what looks like an audience of Mozart's creates a delightful contrast in addition to it being in impressive musical performance. There's a reason the 2Cellos "Thunderstruck" video has been viewed a whopping 260 million times on YouTube.

Watch and enjoy:

People's reactions since the video debuted in 2014 have ranged from humor to incredulity to admiration for the duo's mad cello skills:

"I used to be a fan, but after hearing this masterpiece 1000 times, I'm an air conditioner now."

"When you're into rock but your parents buy you a cello."

"Can’t believe AC/DC made a cover of a song from the 1700s."

"These guys are like the ultimate form of being classically trained but the teachers never let them have any fun."

"As a fellow cellist, the skill you're witnessing is incredible."

"As a bass player, it's incredible how they can play that with so much precision. It is truly incredible, love the music."

Many people in the comments have shared that they keep coming back to watch this again and again, even years later.

Luka and Hauser, the famous Croatian cellists responsible for this genre-smashing masterpiece, just ended their musical career together in May of 2023. As Total Croatia News reported, "Luka is more of a family man now, with three children and a wife, and Hauser continues to be ambitious, full of ideas and eager to keep going, conquering the world and playing his music everywhere. Having different approaches to life, they thought it was best to take separate paths but will still remain great friends."

However, you can still enjoy their past performances together on their YouTube channel here.


This article originally appeared on 10.25.23

Teddy Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan, Joe Biden and Barack Obama all having a laugh.

Like it or not, we’ve recently entered the age of artificial intelligence, and although that may be scary for some, one guy in Florida thinks it’s a great way to make people laugh. Cam Harless, the host of The Mad Ones podcast, used AI to create portraits of every U.S. president looking “cool” with a mullet hairstyle, and the results are hilarious.

The mullet is a notorious hairdo known as the "business in the front, party in the back" look. It's believed that the term "mullet" was coined by the rap-punk-funk group Beastie Boys in 1994.


While cool is in the eye of the beholder, Harless seems to believe it means looking like a cross between Dog the Bounty Hunter and Kenny Powers from “Eastbound and Down.”

Harless made the photos using Midjourney, an app that creates images from textual descriptions. "I love making AI art," Harless told Newsweek. "Often I think of a prompt, create the image and choose the one that makes me laugh the most to present on Twitter and have people try and guess my prompt."

"The idea of Biden with a mullet made me laugh, so I tried to make one with him and Trump together and that led to the whole list of presidents,” he continued.

Harless made AI photos of all 46 presidents with mullets and shared them on Twitter, and the response has been tremendous. His first photo of Joe Biden with a mullet has nearly 75,000 likes and counting.

Here’s our list of the 14 best presidents with mullets. Check out Harless' thread here if you want to see all 46.

Joe Biden with an incredible blonde mane and a tailored suit. This guy takes no malarkey.

Donald Trump looking like a guy who has 35 different pairs of stonewashed jeans in his closet at Mar-a-Lago.

Barack Obama looking like he played an informant on "Starsky and Hutch" in 1976.

George H.W. Bush looking like he plays bass in Elvis's backing band at the International Hotel in Vegas in '73.

Gerald Ford looking like the last guy on Earth that you want to owe money.

"C'mon down and get a great deal at Dick Nixon's Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep and Ram, right off the I-95 in Daytona Beach."

"Who you calling Teddy? That's Theodore Roosevelt to you."

Grover Cleveland is giving off some serious steampunk vibes here.

Pray you never key Chester A. Arthur's Trans Am. If you know what's best for you.

Honest Abe? More like Honest Babe. Am I right?

Franklin Pierce looking like your favorite New Romantic singer from 1982. Eat your heart out, Adam Ant.

"Daniel Day Lewis stole my look in 'Last of the Mohicans.'" — John Tyler

Many have tried the tri-level mullet but few pulled it off as beautifully as James Madison.

Washington's mullet was like a white, fluffy cloud of freedom.

Find more cool, mulletted U.S. presidents here.


This article originally appeared on 3.1.23

Humor

Deaf woman shares list of ‘hearing anxieties’ after learning what others can actually hear

“Nobody should be able to hear that much…that’s not your business.”

Deaf woman shares 'hearing anxieties' after learning what others hear

People who were born hearing often can't imagine what it would be like to not hear the world around them. But since the world is set up around the capabilities of hearing people, there isn't much that would cause someone to think further into the experiences of deaf and hard of hearing (HoH) people.

But in many ways our ability to hear can cause deaf and HoH people anxieties that hearing people don't even consider. All the noises bodies make when people are just existing are recognized but easily tuned out by hearing people, though we use those body sounds as signals when needed.

Deaf people are not innately aware that bodies make noises without trying so when they become aware, some may develop a self consciousness around it. Recently a deaf woman shared that she got together with her friends to share their newer "hearing anxieties."


Scarlet May took to TikTok to share a list of what she and her deaf friends call "hearing anxieties." Hearing anxieties are basically things hearing people can hear that are normal that deaf people are or have been unaware others can hear. For instance, there's a story about a deaf student who had no idea other people could hear them pass gas until their teacher pointed it out. There was no mention of the child developing hearing anxiety around farting in school but it would be understandable if they did.

Sign Language Asl GIF by @InvestInAccessGiphy

"I was just with all my friends and we were sharing stories of our hearing anxieties. It's basically things we as deaf people didn't know that hearing people could hear," Scarlet says.

The young woman speaks quickly while also using American Sign Language (ASL), some users pointed out that her long nails clicking together while she signed was soothing, before wondering if she knew people could hear that. Some of the hearing anxieties may be surprising to hearing people but it makes sense when you think about what the realization must have been like.

talking sign language GIFGiphy

"First one we didn't know y'all can hear is our breathing. My friend said his boyfriend could tell he was mad just based off his breathing. Like he was huffing and puffing hard and then he was like, 'are you mad?' and he was like 'no why?' He was like, 'I can hear you breathing hard," the woman explains.

Hearing someone breathe isn't something people who are hearing think much about until they notice a change in someone's breathing pattern that can give clues into how the other person is feeling. Like Scarlet's friend, being angry changes a person's breathing pattern, so does being anxious, afraid and bored. Hearing people take these cues to offer up additional support ore recognize when someone might be upset with them.

Sign Language Please GIF by @InvestInAccessGiphy

"Number two, how can y'all tell when we're hungry? This one happened to me. I was starving and my friend was like, 'oh somebody's hungry,' and I was like 'what,' and she was like, 'I can hear your stomach.' Huh? Why can you hear so much that you can tell I'm hungry? That's weird. Nobody needs to hear that much," Scarlet says while seemingly irritated at the thought of people hearing hunger.

This is likely less helpful to hearing people than hearing breathing changes but it can come in handy in a pinch. If you're in a meeting with a rumbly tummy a friend sitting near you may silently offer you a snack to hold you over. It can also be helpful if someone is nonverbal and unable to communicate their hunger needs appropriately. But outside of that, many hearing people find it embarrassing for their belly to be angrily rumbling since there's no controlling it when you're trapped adulting with no food within reach.

@scarlet_may.1 hearing anxiety is so real 😭 #fyp ♬ original sound - Scarlet May

The last thing Scarlet lists is the fact that hearing people can hear people eating, saying, "this one, I do not like. Every time I'm eating around hearing people I'm always making sure I'm not too loud, even if I'm quiet I don't even know how much y'all can hear." She further explains that it causes her to become self conscious about it and attempt to change how she's eating. Commenters sympathized with Scarlet and her hearing anxieties, some even pointing out that they also feel like hearing people can hear too much.

One person writes, "The socially acceptable behavioral standard is to pretend like you don't hear any of those things. It's the polite thing to do."

Another shares, "I'm with you on all of this. I'm tired of hearing this much."

All That Nicksplat GIF by NickRewindGiphy

Someone commiserates with the anxiety, "I'm anxious about these things too and I'm not even deaf, especially the stomach one."

"As a hearing person I also think we don't need to hear that much. I can hear my blood flowing through my body, that's too much," one commenter cries.

"If it makes you feel any better we also are embarrassed when people know we are hungry or are breathing hard," another offers support.

You don't have to be deaf to be embarrassed or anxious about the sounds your body makes. Everyone has body noises they can't control and it's probably safe to say that most of us wish we couldn't hear those things.

Family

Dad wonders if he's wrong for telling Grandma she can't have a 'stupid' nickname

Not everyone wants to be called "Grandma" and "Grandpa." But is this nickname too much?

Some grandparent nicknames are cute. Some…not so much.

Lots of grandparents feel like the names “grandma” and “grandpa” feel too old, and vote for younger, hipper nicknames. But we all know this can sometimes venture too far into overly cutesy territory.

Such was the case for one dad who found out that instead of “Grandma,” his mom wanted to be called “Glammy” by her soon-to-be grandkid.

Frustrated, he took to Reddit for advice on how to handle the situation.


“My mother is the type of woman who hates the idea of getting old,” he wrote, saying, “She tries to hide it in any way she possibly can.”

That includes coming up with alternative nicknames, which the dad at first thought was funny, but since then has “learned that she’s completely serious.” And when he’s tried to put his foot down by saying he won’t allow it, his mother gets mad at him.

“The most recent name she has come up with is Glammy because she saw a post that says ‘when you’re a grandma but you’re young and hip you get called Glammy,’” he continued, admitting that was that the only one he liked since he knew his kids would likely just end up saying “Gammy” or “Grammy,” which he found acceptable.



“But some of the names she wants are FiFi, Lolli (like lollipop), Bibi, Lola, Ari…” he lamented. “To me, these names are just stupid… I’m perfectly fine with names that are somewhat normal but for some reason I can’t get the image of my child telling someone that their ‘FiFi is picking her up’ and she just gets laughed at cause it’s a stupid name. We’ve all tried to give my mom name suggestions but are shot down every time and told that we are taking this experience away from her. What do y’all think?”

Down in the comments, people lighthearted told the man that this was a non-issue, however aggravating it is right now.

For one thing, people joked that neither him nor his mom would actually have a say in the matter. That power would belong to the kid.

“You think you get to decide that? You don’t. My son calls my mother Poppy. He calls his uncle ‘Achoo.’ Kids will do what they will,” one person wrote.

Other’s pointed out that all roads eventually lead to “Grandma”. As one person put it, “In my experience whatever name she picks or insists on would eventually become Grandma [Name] anyway. She wants to be called Fifi? Congrats, she’s now Grandma Fifi.”

Quite a few chimed in, with hard evidence, that there are nicknames far, far worse than “Glammy.”

“Do you think you have it bad? My stepmother wanted to be addressed as ‘grandpa Joe’s young wife, Susie’ L O L.”

“I called my favorite grandma Grandma Pup Pup. Pup Pup was my dog that lived with her. I was 2 and couldn't say 'puppy'. It stuck.”

“I am Guaca because my granddaughter couldn’t say Grandma☺️”

“lol our (step)granddaughter calls my husband papa duck. It came about from her first calling him Donald Duck (due to his name), and evolved into Papa after her lil sis was born. She calls me Superwoman 😂 She was 4 at the time.”

The OP would later write that “when I don’t push this issue with my mom it turns into her saying things that I have to do and I cannot do,” which alludes to a more complex power struggle, rather than simply a name pet peeve. But regardless, hopefully he (and everyone else dealing with grandparent name woes) can be put a little more at ease knowing that this doesn’t have to be a huge deal. Just another case of pick your battles.