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5 incredibly delicious chain restaurants you should never, ever eat at and 1 you should but can't

You know you want to. But sorry, you can't.

Fast food. It's kind of a big deal here in the USA.

 

A moment of silence, please. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.


And who could blame us? Fast food is, to use a scientific phrase, tasty as all get out.

But some chains, well. It's painful to admit, but they're bad for us.

Not because they're slowly clogging our arteries — we already knew that. Bad for us in the metaphorical heart, not the literal heart. Cosmically bad for us. Bad for us in that they pretend to be our friends, but in reality, they're talking behind our backs about how we have a weird-shaped face or whatever.

They're doing bad, shady things to the world is the point.

 They are delicious. So so so so so so delicious.

 But you can't eat there. You just can't.

#6. PAPA JOHN'S

Why it's so delicious:

If there's one belief that my big Italian family managed to drill into my brain when I was a kid, it's that chain pizza tastes about as good as an old rusty piece of sheet metal. Or maybe a used napkin, on a good day. And, like a fool, I never questioned it.

Until I met the "The Meats."

 

Oh. Hello there. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

The Meats is a pizza. From Papa John's. It is a pizza full of meat.

Here are the list of meats on The Meats:

     
  1. Sausage
  2.  
  3. Pepperoni
  4.  
  5. Beef
  6.  
  7. Bacon
  8.  
  9. Canadian bacon
  10.  
  11. Eagle (probably)
  12.  
  13. Sacrificial lamb (pretty sure I tasted that)
  14.  
  15. Unicorn (definitely)

So yeah. That's it. Naples can pretty much just close up shop. There's just no more need.

 

Pack it in, boys. We're done here. Photo by Inviaggiocommons/Wikimedia Commons.

Oh, and see that little cup in the corner?

 

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

That's Papa John's special garlic sauce. It's basically garlic, butter, and chemicals that bring your grandmother back to life so that you can tell her you love her one last time, giving you that sense of closure you always needed. That's how good it is.

Papa John's also sells something called a "Cinnapie."

 

Suggested serving si— oh, never mind. Who am I kidding? Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

It's a cinnamon bun. The size of a pizza.

Needless to say, I totally didn't eat the whole thing in a single sitting. What are you looking at? Stop looking at me like that.

Why you can never, ever eat there:

Like most of America, I always assumed "Papa John's" was just a generic name ideated up in some corporate copy factory. Possibly tied into a mascot of some kind. A pizza-tossing horse maybe, with a vaguely racist mustache. Needless to say, I was extremely surprised to learn that Papa John is an actual human.

His name is John Schnatter, founder and CEO of Papa John's. And in a move that just screams "humility," he put himself on all the pizza boxes.

 

Of course this is him. Of course it is. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

 In August 2012, Papa John got on the phone with a bunch of reporters to talk about the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare.

"Oh," you're probably saying to yourself, "I bet he wanted to discuss how awesome it is that, under the law, his kids can stay on his insurance until they're 26. Or how the law is expected to dramatically lower health care spending nationwide. Or maybe just gush about how happy he is for the millions of people who will now suddenly be covered for the first time in their lives. I bet that was what that was about."

Nope. He mostly wanted to explain that Obamacare means you'll be paying more for pizza. And you're gonna like it.

 Byron Tau, Politico:

"If Obamacare is in fact not repealed, we will find tactics to shallow out any Obamacare costs and core strategies to pass that cost onto consumers in order to protect our shareholders' best interests," Schnatter vowed.

Specifically, 11-14 cents more. Which means ... sorry University of Minnesota-Twin Cities Cribbage Club, the cost of next Wednesday's pizza-n-chill info sesh just increased by about $1.56. Thanks, Obama!

 Oh, and Schnatter also implied that some franchisees would cut worker hours to get out of having to provide them with health care required for employees working over 30 hours a week under the ACA. Of course, he later clarified that he wasn't saying he would cut their hours personally but, you know — it's out of his hands.

 

Nice prescription plan you got there. Shame if something happened to it. Photo by Ildar Sagdejev/Wikimedia Commons.

Now, you might be thinking, "Well, sure, that's harsh, but look. He's just trying to do the best he can in a shaky economy. If he's asking his employees and customers to take one for the team, I'm sure he's making an even bigger sacrifice somehow. Because Papa John is a leader. And that's what leaders do." And naively, I assumed that too.

Until I found out about his house.

 Sarah Firshein, Curbed:

"Schnatter lives in a 40,000-square-foot castle on 16 acres in Kentucky; the property includes a 22-car underground garage ('complete with an office for valet parking, a car wash, and even a motorized turntable to move limousines') and a 6,000-square-foot detached carriage house."

That's right. Papa John is Batman.

Now, numbers are just numbers. It's hard to get an idea of what 40,000 square feet looks like without actually seeing it in real life.

Thankfully, I used to live about 20 minutes away from Papa John, so I drove to his house and took a picture.

 

Like most rich people's homes, it is blocked by a sh*t ton of bushes. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Just trust me. It's a freaking enormous house. You can Google it.

I certainly don't begrudge the guy having a garish, cream-colored mansion the size of a small moon. Hell, I have one too in my dreams. But dude. You're gonna live in that thing and then threaten to nickel-and-dime your customers and employees on pepperoni prices and healthcare? Bad optics. Bad, bad optics.

It's like that old sailor saying, "A captain always watches the ship go down with all his crew screaming inside of it as he soars away in his private helicopter."

 Don't eat at Papa John's. I know you want to. I want to. But don't. Just don't.

#5. SONIC

Yes, please. Let's go to Sonic right now.

BEHOLD! The mighty bacon cheeseburger toaster! Gaze ye upon it in all its glory! A third-pound patty of heavenly manna slathered in barbecue sauce on two slices of Texas toast.

 

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

And what's this in my cup holder? Is this the fabled CHERRY LIMEADE OF LEGEND? Miraculous lime wedges and a maraschino cherry sinking beneath the roughly crushed ice pellets into a sea of pink sugary mirth? Verily, do not look directly at it, or it will surely blind you.

 

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Oh, hey — look! Some onion rings. Cool.

 

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Sorry, bub. No more Sonic. Not ever.

Fast food is delicious. We've already established that. But the typical fast food experience? Usually leaves something to be desired. Take a burger, wrap it in some paper, and slap it on a tray. Maybe you squirt some ketchup into a thing, and that's the highlight.

But not at Sonic. Sonic has a concept.

You see, Sonic is a drive-in. And you get car-side service. From carhops. Just like in the '50s.

All of these children are currently collecting Social Security. Photo by ftzdomino/Flickr.

Indeed, very little has changed at Sonic in the past 60-odd years.

 Including salaries for Sonic carhops.

As of May 2014, the median hourly wage for fast food workers in America was $9.19/hour. Which is objectively terrifying. But compared to comparable employees at Sonic, other fast food workers are straight up building motorized limousine turns in their 40,000-square-foot castles.

 As of June 2015, Sonic carhops made roughly $6.70/hour on average, according to Glassdoor. Even as a survey estimate, that's far less than the (already meager) federal minimum wage and state minimum wages in all but eight states.

How is that even legal? According to multiple former carhops, and at least one official complaint, because Sonic crew members bring the food to you (often on roller skates), they are classified as tipped employees at some stores and therefore exempt from minimum wage requirements.

 Which begs the question. Do people tip Sonic carhops?

Maybe. Maybe not. At the very least, it is the subject of great confusion on the Internet.

Sonic certainly doesn't make it easy either. Here's what happened when I tried to pay at Sonic's automated credit card reader back in March...

 

 No receipt. No place to tip.

At this point, you're like, "Ooh, burger!" and proceed to forget about your fiduciary responsibility to your fellow humans. But even if you do remember when the carhop eventually brings out your receipt, there's no tip line.

 

Both times I went, only the customer copy came out. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

So you have to tip in cash. Which you might or might not have. At least that's what happened to me when I went (for ... uh, research).

 No matter how you look at it, it's really difficult to tip at Sonic. So lots of people just don't do it.

To confirm this suspicion, I creeped on the guy next to me.

 

Not him. But this is a public domain image of the truck he was driving. Photo by IFCAR/Wikimedia Commons.

And sure enough, no tip. Nada.

 Stop going to Sonic, everyone. Stop it right now. Don't even think about it.

 I know you're thinking about it. Stop.

#4. WENDY'S

Wendy's is amazing.

 Wendy's is all like: We're the Target to McDonald's Walmart. Sure, we look similar, but our food just seems ... better, doesn't it? Healthier and more ethical, somehow. You can totally trust us. We'll even sell you a baked potato if you want!

 

But instead, you get this. And no jury in the world would convict you. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Wendy's is an infernal den of smoke and mirrors.

 Wendy's: We actually pay even less than McDonald's does.

 

Average crew member salaries. McDonald's photo by Cruiser/Wikimedia Commons [altered]. Wendy's photo by Mike Mozart/Flickr.

Ha! Gotcha hook, line, and sinker, you fast food hippie!

#3. CRACKER BARREL

You guys. Cracker Barrel. Cracker Barrel, you guys.

Quick, here's a pop quiz. How much food can you get for $8.99?

 

Six! Six dishes! Ah ah ah! Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

If you responded "all of it," congratulations, you have won. If you are among the folks historically lucky enough to be at Cracker Barrel right now, you can avail yourself of meatloaf (solid), chicken and dumplings (delicious), fried okra (heavenly), and a big piece of ham ('nuff said). Also baked beans, turnip greens, and two corn muffins. All for less than nine dollars.

"But Eric," you might whine, "All that food is so ... beige."

 Yeah. Beige like a fox.

 

Not beige. Photo by digitalprimate/Flickr.

Listen. There is nothing that looks less appetizing than classic American comfort fare. It's mushy, brown, and smells kind of like baby food. But it is freaking delicious. If you want texture and vibrant colors in your food, go eat pad Thai.*

*Seriously, go eat pad Thai. Pad Thai is delicious. You should always be eating pad Thai.

Also, have I mentioned this?

 

There's your color, you jerks. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

That's raspberry sweet tea. If you could take the feeling you get when your aunt Helen presents you with a hand-knit sweater on Christmas morning and liquefy it, that's what you'd get. Free refills too! You could, and should, have eight of those.

Seriously? Don't go to Cracker Barrel. What were you thinking?!

 I'll tell you why in a minute. But first we have to talk about segregation.

 

Photo by Jack Delano/Wikimedia Commons.

Segregation. One of the darkest chapters in American history. Under the pretense of separate-but-equal, white leaders in the South excluded black Americans from nearly all aspects of public life. But after decades of heartache, violence, and struggle, thanks to the historic efforts of Martin Luther King Jr. and other civil rights leaders, segregation was finally legally abolished in 1965.

 Except at Cracker Barrel, which waited until 2004, when the U.S. Justice Department told them, "No, really. Now stop."

 Fox News:

"At least 42 plaintiffs, including the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, accused the Lebanon, Tenn.-based company of discrimination in federal lawsuits filed in Georgia. Black customers in 16 states also said they were subjected to racial slurs and served food taken from the trash, while Cracker Barrel management ignored or condoned such actions.
 
The announcement comes four months after the company settled a Justice Department lawsuit accusing Cracker Barrel of similar discrimination claims at dozens of restaurants, mainly in the South. That settlement found that black customers at many of the country store-themed restaurants were seated in areas segregated from white patrons, frequently received inferior service and often were made to wait longer for tables. Blacks who complained about poor service also were treated less favorably than whites, the settlement said."

"OK," you're probably saying. "Fair enough. But that was over a decade ago." (Side note: 2004 was over a decade ago. You are so old.) And you'd be right! Cracker Barrel hasn't been accused of serving black people food from the garbage or segregating its dining rooms since Usher's "Confessions Part II" was on the radio. A lifetime ago (if you're a medium-sized dog)!

But while Cracker Barrel has undeniably gotten better, let's just say the road to full enlightenment has ... taken a weird detour in the past few years.

You see, Cracker Barrel isn't just a restaurant. It's also a store. A country store. The kind ma and pa used to run out back behind Old Murdoch's soda fountain, as imagined by the VP of branding of a multimillion-dollar biscuit corporation.

 You might also be familiar with a little show on the A&E Network called, "Duck Dynasty," about a talking beard and his family...

 

Photo by Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons.

...who murder your favorite Sesame Street character over and over again.

 

Please don't kill me. I love you. Photo by Tom Morris/Wikimedia Commons.

It turns out the talking beard has opinions on more than just eliminating Donald, Scrooge, Daffy, Darkwing, and all the McDuck triplets from God's green earth, which he expressed in a 2013 interview with GQ:

“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I'm with the blacks because we're white trash. We're going across the field. ... They're singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, 'I tell you what: These doggone white people'—not a word! ... Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues."

This, understandably, ruffled a few feathers (presumably, Robertson later shot the duck said feathers were on).

But times change. This isn't the '60s anymore (or, in Cracker Barrel's case, the early '00s). And mercifully, Cracker Barrel did the absolute minimum amount of the right thing they could possibly do and pulled some (not even all!) Duck Dynasty merchandise from their stores.

 Until, like, a day later when they put it all back.

 Corinne Lestch, The Daily News:

"Company brass did an about-face on Sunday — re-shelving the goods and apologizing for 'offending' any customers...
 
'You flat out told us we were wrong. We listened. Today, we are putting all our Duck Dynasty products back in our stores. And, we apologize for offending you,' officials wrote in a statement posted on its Facebook page."

Backbone, ladies and gentlemen. Curvy, weird duck backbone.

Since that was two years ago, I went back the other day to see if maybe Cracker Barrel had quietly phased out the Robertson's T-shirts and hoodies when no one was paying attention. But sure enough...

 

One day, I'll make Duck Admiral. One day. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Boom. Still there.

For maximum effect, they are shelved right next to the military swag.

 

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Because putting your life on the line to defend the United States of America from enemies at home and abroad is about as noble as mowing down a bunch of waterfowl with a high-powered semi-automatic.

 Minus 7 bazillion for that, Cracker Barrel. But hey! Plus one for stocking Goldenberg's Peanut Chews.

 

The bomb. Dot edu. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Those things are my jam.

 If you go to Cracker Barrel, we are so not talking. Yep. You heard me. The camping trip to Red River Gorge is going to be awkward.

#2. CHICK-FIL-A

The Chick-fil-A original chicken sandwich is the pinnacle of human achievement.

The pyramids. The Magna Carta. The Apollo missions. PlayStation 4. This season of "The Bachelorette."

Combine them all. Multiply by 10. Sprinkle with holy water and shoot them out of a cannon into the sun. What you get is not even worth half the pickle chip on a Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich.

 

Your move, Ancient Egyptians. Photo by Jay Reed/Flickr.

Between those two unassuming buns is an explosion of salt, fat, umami (whatever the hell that is), and the overwhelming feeling that justice has been done somewhere in the world. If they could speak, any chicken would surely tell you that being hacked up into tiny bits, deep fried, and stuffed in this sandwich is like getting into Chicken Princeton.

 In fact, the first bite of any Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich is such a sacred experience that they close all the restaurants on Sundays.

And I haven't even mentioned the waffle fries.

 

You know what? Best not. Best not even mention the waffle fries. Photo by Jay Reed/Flickr.

OMIGOD, you guys, you can absolutely never, ever, ever eat at Chick-fil-A.

Look. I'm not naive. I know that, deep down, most of my favorite brands are probably giving lots of money to nightmarishly evil causes on the sly.

 

My favorite brands. Also, I have favorite brands? Gross. Image by J.J./Wikimedia Commons.

I have to believe Apple just put a down payment on a giant coal plant somewhere in China. I'm sure Doritos wants to repeal the estate tax. And dollars to doughnuts Krispy Kreme is investing in Sudanese cobalt mines. But at least I can take comfort in the fact that it's not personal. It's just what's best for business.

 

Business. Photo by thetaxhaven/Flickr.

Chick-fil-A is one of those brands. But what sets Chick-fil-A apart is that their donations have nothing at all to do with putting more money in the hands of their obscenely wealthy top brass and everything to do with making sure Dan at the register and Leon at the drive-thru window can't file their taxes together even though they love each other deeply.

 Josh Israel, ThinkProgress:

"As Chick-fil-A's corporate foundation came under heavy criticism last year for its long record of anti-LGBT behavior, the company attempted to distance itself from its political record, claiming it intended 'to leave the policy debate over same-sex marriage to the government and political arena.'
 
 But despite suggestions by some that the company's WinShape Foundation had already scaled back its anti-LGBT giving before that point, its newly released annual IRS filings for 2011 indicate nothing of the sort...
 
In 2011, the group actually gave even more to anti-LGBT causes. Its contribution to the Marriage & Family Foundation jumped to $2,896,438 and it gave the same amount to the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and National Christian Foundation as it had in 2010. In total, the anti-LGBT spending exceeded $3.6 million — almost double the $1.9 million from the year before."



Look, I give Chick-fil-A a lot of latitude. After all, they make an absolutely bomb chicken sandwich.

 Still,  I'm really not sure I want them to weigh in on whether Leon gets to visit Dan in the hospital when Dan is 97 and has terminal shingles.

 Now, unlike most of the other examples on this list, Chick-fil-A got big press play. There were boycotts, counter-boycotts, and counter-counter-boycotts. Which prompted CEO Dan Cathy to reach way down deep and do some soul searching.

 The conclusion he came to?

"You know what, I just realized we're a chicken company. Probably best not to get involved after all."

"Cathy agreed that the 'lingering identity' of Chick-fil-A with 'anti-gay groups' that jumped to its defense in 2012 has meant 'alienating market segments.'
 
'Consumers want to do business with brands that they can interface with, that they can relate with,' Cathy said. 'And it's probably very wise from our standpoint to make sure that we present our brand in a compelling way that the consumer can relate to.'"

And Chick-fil-A made good on its word — sort of.

According to their tax documents from 2012, Chick-fil-A only donated to one anti-LGBT group that year. That's down from — and I'm using a technical term here — a buttload in 2010-2011.

 But that's still one more donation to an anti-gay group than a reasonable chicken sandwich company should be proffering.

So keep up the fire. Do not eat at Chick-fil-A.

 Believe me, I know it hurts. But stay strong.

#1. IN-N-OUT BURGER

It gives me no pleasure to break this to you, but you probably can't eat at In-N-Out Burger.

Photo by Zink Dawg/Wikimedia Commons.

"Wait, nooooooo! I love In-N-Out," you might be thinking. "I thought they were actually pretty good corporate citizens."

"I'm going to punch you in the face if you tell me I can't eat at In-N-Out," you might also be thinking.

And I don't blame you. Because In-N-Out is so freaking good. But please. Just go with me here. I promise I'll explain everything. You've made it 4,000 words. Bear with me for a few more. It's all I ask.

In-N-Out Burger: cheesy meat patty of the gods.

This is what a triple-triple from In-N-Out looks like.

 

Stop it. Photo by Christian Razukas/Flickr.

This is it. The most delicious burger on the planet. You can keep your Shake Shacks, your Five Guys, and your Smashburgi. This is truly, madly, deeply the one.

If you actually took one of those burgers and put it under a microscope, this is what you would see.

 

If you zoomed even further in, you would learn the exact moment you were going to die. To this day, no one has done it. Painting by Johann Liss/Wikimedia Commons.

And the best part? The burgers are super cheap.

There aren't enough superlatives in the world to do the place justice. There is no greater pleasure in this world than the taste of an In-N-Out cheeseburger. That's a fact.

And I've been to a Bon Jovi concert.

So what's the problem? Why can't I eat at In-N-Out??!?!

You can't eat at In-N-Out Burger because you are probably among the approximately 76% of Americans who don't live in California, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, or Texas.

 

And coming soon, Oregon! Photo by Dave Sizer/Flickr.

As your West Coast friends probably never fail to remind you every single day of your life, In-N-Out burger is their secret special thing.

 

Dear God. Please. Shut. Up. Image via Thinkstock.

And as much as I hate to admit it, they're basically right. As of June 2015,  In-N-Out burger is only available in five states. And, statistically speaking, you probably don't live in one of them.

It's a massive shame for the rest of us. Because compared to most of its chain brethren, In-N-Out is basically a choirboy, straight-A-student role model.

Sure, In-N-Out is a multimillion-dollar meat factory like the rest of 'em. But, relatively speaking, In-N-Out has a lot going for it. A lot going for it.

 It is one of very, very, very few high-profile companies in America owned by a woman.

It's food is also reasonably locally sourced and fresh, even earning praise from "Fast Food Nation" author Eric Schlosser.

And, perhaps, most importantly:

 The average In-N-Out crew associate makes $11.61/hour (as of June 2015, according to Glassdoor). Not super great in the grand scheme of things but a fortune by fast food standards.

In-N-Out proves that it is possible to operate a profitable, reliably delicious fast food chain in 2015 and not be a complete ethical idiot.

Plus, let's not forget...

 

#Neverforget. Photo by Christian Razukas/Flickr.

Here's my advice. Move to California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, or Texas right now. Or Oregon, to jump the trend. And go get yourself an In-N-Out Burger.

 You will thank me tomorrow.

 And every day. For the rest of your life.

Unsplash

Students working; an empty classroom.

When talking with other parents I know, it's hard not to sound like a grumpy old man when we get around to discussing school schedules: "Am I the only one who feels like kids have so many days off? I never got that many days off when I was a kid! And I had to go work in the coal mine after, too!" I know what I sound like, but I just can't help it.

In Georgia where I live, we have a shorter summer break than some other parts of the country. But my kids have the entire week of Thanksgiving off, a week in September, two whole weeks at Christmas, a whole week off in February, and a weeklong spring break. They have asynchronous days (during which they complete assignments at home, which usually takes about 30 minutes) about once a month, and they have two or three half-day weeks throughout the year. Quite honestly, it feels like they're never in school for very long before they get another break, which makes it tough to get in a rhythm with work and career goals. Plus, we're constantly arranging day camps and other childcare options for all the time off. After a quick search, I can confirm I'm not losing my mind: American kids have fewer school days than most other major countries.

 school's out, school days, school week, work week, schedules Schools Out Fun GIF by Pen Pals  Giphy  

So, it caught my attention in a major way when I read that Whitney Independent School District in Texas recently decided to enact a four-day week heading into the 2025 school year. That makes it one of dozens of school districts in Texas to make the change and over 900 nationally.

The thought of having the kids home from school EVERY Friday or Monday makes me want to break out in stress hives, but this four-day school week movement isn't designed to give parents a headache. It's meant to lure teachers back to work.

Yes, teachers are leaving the profession in droves and young graduates don't seem eager to replace them. Why? For starters, the pay is bad—but that's just the beginning. Teachers are burnt out, undermined and criticized relentlessly, held hostage by standardized testing, and more. It can be a grueling, demoralizing, and thankless job. The love and passion they have for shaping the youth of tomorrow can only take you so far when you feel like you're constantly getting the short end of the stick.

School districts want to pay their teachers more, in theory, but their hands are often tied. So, they're getting creative to recruit the next generation of teachers into their schools—starting with an extra day off for planning, catch-up, or family time every week.

Teachers in four-day districts often love the new schedule. Kids love it (obviously). It's the parents who, as a whole, aren't super thrilled.

 school, kids, teachers, instruction time, classes, schedule Class in session Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash  

So far, the data shows that the truncated schedule perk is working. In these districts, job applications for teachers are up, retirements are down, and teachers are reporting better mental well-being. That's great news!

But these positive developments may be coming at the price of the working parents in the communities. Most early adopters of the four-day week have been rural communities with a high prevalence of stay-at-home parents. As the idea starts to take hold in other parts of the country, it's getting more pushback. Discussions on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media platforms are overrun with debate on how this is all going to shake up. Some parents, to be fair, like the idea! If they stay-at-home or have a lot of flexibility, they see it as an opportunity for more family time. But many are feeling anxious. Here's what's got those parents worried:

The effect on students' achievement is still unclear.

The execution of the four-day week varies from district to district. Some schools extend the length of each of the four days, making the total instructional time the same. That makes for a really long day, and some teachers say the students are tired and more unruly by the late afternoon. Some districts are just going with less instruction time overall, which has parents concerned that their kids might fall behind.

Four-day school weeks put parents in a childcare bind.

Having two working parents is becoming more common and necessary with the high cost of living. I know, I know—"school isn't daycare!" But it is the safe, reliable, and educational place we send our kids while we we work.

Families with money and resources may be able to enroll their kids in more academics, extracurriculars, sports, or childcare, but a lot of normal families won't be able to afford that cost. Some schools running a four-day week offer a paid childcare option for the day off, but that's an added expense and for families with multiple kids in the school system, it's just not possible.

This will inevitably end with some kids getting way more screentime.

With most parents still working five-day weeks, and the cost of extra activities or childcare too high, a lot of kids are going to end up sitting around on the couch with their iPad on those days off. I'm no expert, and I'm certainly not against screentime, but adding another several hours of it to a child's week seems less than ideal.

Of course there are other options other than paid childcare and iPads. There are play dates, there's getting help from family and friends. All of these options are an enormous amount of work to arrange for parents who are already at capacity.

Working four days is definitely a win for teachers that makes the job more appealing. But it doesn't address the systemic issues that are driving them to quit, retire early, or give up their dreams of teaching all together.

 teachers, stress, education, work, job Season 3 Running GIF by The Simpsons  Giphy  

A Commissioner of Education from Missouri calls truncated schedules a "band-aid solution with diminishing returns." Having an extra planning day won't stop teachers from getting scapegoated by politicians or held to impossible curriculum standards, it won't keep them from having to buy their own supplies or deal with ever-worsening student behavior.

Some teachers and other experts have suggested having a modified five-day school week, where one of the days gets set aside as a teacher planning day while students are still on-site participating in clubs, music, art—you know, all the stuff that's been getting cut in recent years. Something like that could work in some places.

As a dad, I don't mind the idea of my busy kids having an extra day off to unwind, pursue hobbies, see friends, catch up on projects, or spend time as a family. And I'm also very much in favor of anything that takes pressure off of overworked teachers. But until we adopt a four-day work week as the standard, the four-day school week is always going to feel a little out of place.

This article originally appeared in February. It has been updated.

Trivia Chat/Youtube

This is pure nostalgia.

There are few celebrities so universally loved as Lucille Ball and Richard Simmons. Each was completely their own person with a unique and contagious sense of humor that lit up every room they walked in. So it’s no wonder that when they appeared on a live game show together over 40 years ago, they completely dominated.

The gameshow in question was Body Language, wherein one contestant used charades to convey a list of words, and a celebrity guest would try to correctly guess as many words from that list as possible in under 60 seconds. This particular episode, which aired the day after Christmas 1984, had both Simmons and Ball—as well as The Jeffersons' Isabel Sanford and Broadway star Robert Morse—competing.

The real magical moment came when Simmons was in charge of acting out clues and Ball was the guesser. In the clip below, there’s a sweet exchange between the two, where a starstruck Simmons tells Ball, “I’ve watched you on television…I can’t believe I’m sitting here…doing these things” before launching into the round.

You instantly see that the dynamic plays perfectly to their strengths (both Simmons’ balls-to-the-wall physicality and Ball’s incredibly sharp wit) because in mere seconds they rack up seven correct guesses, earning $900.

It’s a hoot to watch:

  - YouTube  youtube.com  

Glorious, wasn’t it? Unsurprisingly, the short clip left many feeling a bit nostalgic.

"Pure joy. Two people who brought so much joy to humanity despite their personal pain. Now gone into Love and Light forever."

"Two of the good ones. Always brought a smile to my face."

"Both of them were loved by so many people for completely different reasons!! I hope both of them knew how much they were truly loved!"

That same year, Ball would be inducted into the 1st Television Academy Hall of Fame, tape for her TV special, All-Star Party for Lucille Ball, and discuss the legacy of her show with Entertainment Tonight. Meanwhile, Simmons, at the height of his own fame, would film the final season of The Richard Simmons Show, and continue growing his fitness empire.

Both legends are gone now, but continue to bring a smile to so many. At the end of the day, is there any marker of success greater than that?

If you’re curious, you can see the full episode of Body Language below:

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Gemma Leighton/Twitter
A 6-yr-old's art teacher said she did her painting 'wrong' and the responses are just great

The impulse and ability to create art is one of the highlights of being human. It's a key quality that sets us apart from the animal world, one that makes life more meaningful and enjoyable. While there are artistic skills that make it easier for people to bring their imaginations into the visible, tangible world, art doesn't abide by any hard and fast rules. Especially kids' art. Especially young kids' art.

There is no right or wrong in art, only expression and interpretation. That's the beauty of it. Unlike working with numbers and spreadsheets and data, there is no correct answer and no one way to arrive at the proper destination. As the famous quote from Dead Poet's Society goes, "Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for."

That's why one mom was furious when her 6-year-old's art teacher told the girl her painting was "wrong."

Gemma Leighton, mother of 6-year-old Edie, shared her daughter's painting on Twitter with a request for support. Edie created the painting in an after school art club, and her art teacher told her she did it wrong.

"You can't do art wrong!" wrote Leighton. "She was so upset as art is her favourite thing to do."


 

Now, we don't know exactly what the teacher said to Edie, or why, but if a 6-year-old comes home upset and feeling like there's something wrong with their art, the teacher did something wrong. Full stop. Six-year-olds are just beginning to learn about technique, and encouragement is the most vital thing a teacher can offer a budding artist.

The internet rightfully pounced to Edie's defense, and the responses are incredibly heartwarming.

Many people shared how hurt they were as children when a teacher told them something was wrong with their art—and that they were wrong. Knowing that grown-ups had experienced the same kinds of unnecessary criticism as kids and realized that it was wrong can help Edie feel confident that her painting is not "wrong."

Others pointed out the famous artists that her painting reminded them of. Seeing how her own painting reflects some of the style and color choices of professional artists can help Edie see the spark of genius in her own artwork.

 

Songwriter Kimya Dawson, most famous for her songs in the movie Juno, shared that a middle school English teacher had told her to stop writing poems because they were "too juvenile."

"I never stopped though and making rhyming poems has been my career for over 20 years!" Dawson wrote in a Reply. "Your painting is perfect! Keep it up! Don't worry what anyone else thinks."

Professional artists chimed in with words of encouragement, pointing out that Edie's use of perspective and expressionism were quite impressive for her age.

"The only 'wrong' is not making art that speaks from your heart," wrote an artist who goes by @Artsy on Twitter. "When she expresses her passion, her vision of her world, her personal reactions to what she sees and feels, she'll never be 'wrong.'"

Now that's how it's done! Experts say that not just general encouragement, but pointing out specific things in a child's work that are the building blocks of art and literacy are key to building their self-esteem. In fact, the creative process in and of itself is great at building a child's self-esteem! It allows them to practice independence and feel immense pride at their finished product, no matter what anyone thinks it looks like. Really the only way to turn art into a negative thing for a child is to criticize it.

Even KISS guitarist Paul Stanley offered Edie words of encouragement.

 art, artists, kids, children, kids art, imagination, play, creativity, self-esteem, education, teachers, parents, moms Judging technique can come later. Way later. For now, just let kids create.  Photo by Bahar Ghiasi on Unsplash  

"Your art is AWESOME!!!" he wrote.

"There is no such thing as doing art 'wrong.' There are only teachers who are wrong!!! Your art shows amazing freedom and spirit. How can that be 'wrong'?!?! Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing. I LOVE it!!!"

 

Imagine being a heartbroken 6-year-old who has been told by a teacher that her art was wrong, and then seeing a flood of thousands of supportive comments from people who looked at the same piece of art and told you what they loved about it. This is how social media should be used. To lift people up, to encourage and inspire, to share beauty and creativity.

After the outpouring, Leighton created a new Twitter account called Edie's Art for people to share kids' artwork, and gracious, it's a delight to peruse.

There's nothing more pure, more colorful, more full of life than art that came from a child's imagination. They may not have the technical skills to perfectly create what they envision in their minds or what they're looking at for inspiration, but that's part of what makes it so beautiful. They aren't self-conscious enough yet to hold back, and their art comes from a place of confidence and acceptance of their own abilities—that is, until some adult comes along and squashes their artistic spirit.

 

One of my favorite things as a parent has been watching my kids' artistic expressions evolve as they've grown, and I've loved their artwork at every stage. And not just because I'm their mom, but because kid creations are the best reminder of how natural the human impulse to create really is, and how beautiful it is when we share that impulse without fear or doubt.

As for Edie, she didn't let that early criticism keep her down. The original story happened about four years ago, and today Evie continues to pursue art. Her mom still occasionally shares the odd piece or two on Twitter/X, and even posted a fun stop-motion video Evie created using one of her stuffed animals. Clearly, her creative spirit could not be suppressed so easily.

"Edie is now immersed in the digital art world and still creates wonderful things every day Keep creating little artists," her mom shared in a recent update on X.

Keep painting, Edie, and all you kiddos out there. Don't let one person's opinion—even a teacher's—hold you back.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

Canva Photos

Many of our favorite everyday foods have extremely strange origins.

Have you ever stopped to think why we eat the things we eat? Some of it seems natural, of course, like an apple growing from a tree. At some point in history, someone picked one, took a bite, and realized it was delicious.

Hunting and eating animals is similar. It's part of our DNA, even if you choose not to partake, and you can easily trace the path from early hunter-gatherers to packaged chicken nuggets.

But at some point, humans started getting really creative. We picked coffee cherries, removed the seeds, and brewed them into a dark and bitter drink–why?! We smushed up grapes and let them sit around for a while and then drank their juices. We decided to try consuming cow's milk that had gone really, really sour.

Whose ideas was it to try these things? Fascinatingly, many of our favorite foods, even the things we eat everyday, were the result of necessity or pure accidents. Here are some of the weirdest yet most interesting food origin stories.

1. Cheese & Yogurt


 food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining Cheese is essentially just spoiled milk!  Photo by David Foodphototasty on Unsplash  

We know that cheese and yogurt both come from milk, often cow's milk. We also know that milk goes bad extremely quickly and disgustingly. So how did we bridge that gap and come to discover these two amazing foods?

According to the National Historic Cheesemaking Center Museum (in Wisconsin; where else?) cheesemaking dates back thousands of years to Greek mythology and the ancient Egyptians. It's said that milk was often stored in containers made from the stomachs of animals. The only downside of stomach containers is that they contained an enzyme called rennet that triggers coagulation in the milk, allowing it to separate into curds and whey.

Those Greeks and Egyptians must have been mighty surprised when the curds, in particular, turned out to be absolutely delicious. The BBC writes, however, that this accidental process was probably first discovered in the Middle East and Central Asia.

2. Wine

 food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining It must have been fun to discover old grapes turned into wine.  Photo by Lefteris kallergis on Unsplash  

Today, the winemaking process is pretty complex, so much so that some people consider it an art. Or, at the very least, a craft of the highest order.

I've always been curious how we ever came up with the idea that we could get drunk off of grapes, long before the days of perfectly pruned vines and aged-oak barrels. Turns out, the story is not that dissimilar to the origins of cheesemaking, except it goes back even further. Humanity's natural desire for a good party is apparently one of our most ancient traditions!

Early humans would forage large quantities of fruit like grapes and berries. The ones at the bottom, naturally, would get smushed and likely not be eaten for a while. They would have time to ferment, creating an alcohol-like substance, that must have been pretty pleasurable for anyone willing to go digging around at the bottom of the fruit pile.

Beer has a similar origin story, only instead of fruit, it was grains for bread that were left out too long and began to ferment.

3. Coffee

 food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining Coffee fruit was making the goats a little too happy.  Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash  

Coffee is definitely one of the weirder things that we consume. The coffee beans we're used to seeing do not appear exposed in the wild—they're actually tucked away inside something called a coffee cherry. Each cherry contains two seeds, or coffee beans.

The story goes that an Ethiopian goat herder in the year 850 (give or take) noticed that whenever his goats ate the cherries, they would become energetic, playful, and just plain happier. Kaldi, the herder, is credited with being one of the first to forage the cherries. At first, the leaves were used to make tea, and then the berries were eaten directly to get the happy-energy effects. It wasn't until a few centuries later that the beans were made into a beverage for the first time.

4. Tikka Masala

I absolutely love getting Indian food whenever possible and, like a lot of Americans, I adore Chicken Tikka Masala. But I never knew that it was created out of necessity as recently as the 1970s.

The widely accepted legend has it that a Glasgow chef named Ali Ahmed Aslam served a customer some chicken tikka one night and found the patron to be very hard to please. The man insisted that the chicken was too dry. So Aslam scoured the kitchen and whipped up a special sauce made of yogurt and tomato, which helped keep the chicken moist.

Pretty quickly, chicken tikka masala became famous across the globe. The Bristorian writes, "it is widely represented as the quintessential Indian dish despite its origin in the United Kingdom."

5. Tomatoes

 food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining Tomatoes were thought to be poisonous until very recently.  Photo by Huzeyfe Turan on Unsplash  

It doesn't seem surprising at first that most cultures around the world regularly eat tomatoes, with a few exceptions. They grow in the ground and look beautiful. It's not shocking that someone bit into one at some point in history and decided we should all get to enjoy them.

But what is surprising is that, in the Western world at least, tomatoes didn't catch on for a long time. Even in Italy, which is practically synonymous with the tomato, Italians didn't really eat them widely until the 19th century. That's because tomatoes were long thought to be poisonous, a member of the nightshade family which contains many toxic plants.

One story claims that a man named Colonel Robert Gibbon Johnson ate tomato after tomato in front of a crowd in New Jersey to prove to the world they were safe. It's probably not a true story, but it's fun to imagine.

6. Tea

 food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining Tea is one of civilization's most ancient drinks.  Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash  

Tea, like coffee, seems odd when you really think about it. Boiling dried up leaves and herbs in water? Whose bright idea was that?

It turns out, it was an Emperor's idea! Tea is truly one of the most ancient beverages, and legend has it that Chinese emperor Shen Nung accidentally discovered the delectable drink in 2737 BC. He was supposedly sitting under a tree while his servant boiled him some drinking water, a common practice at the time. Some leaves are said to have fallen in from the Camellia sinensis tree, which gave the brew a pleasant aroma.

Shen Nung tasted it and was impressed, while also finding that it made him feel great. Tea was initially considered medicinal and didn't become a daily drink until much later.

7. French fries

 food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining Fried potatoes began as a replacement for fried fish.  Photo by Louis Hansel on Unsplash  

Despite the name, French fries are said to have initially been discovered in Belgium.

In the 1600s, villagers near one of the country's rivers would catch fish to try. Fried fish was an incredibly popular treat, but in the winter months, the river would freeze and catching fish would become impossible.

Out of necessity, they tried cutting up potatoes into a similar shape and frying those, instead. The result was delicious! When American soldiers came through the area during World War I, word spread quickly for obvious reasons.

8. Potato chips

The accidental invention of potato chips is a direct offshoot of French fries, so it deserves a spot on this list.

Some 250 years after the invention of fries, the story goes that a chef named George Crum had another difficult customer on his hands. (Seeing a pattern here?) The man was unhappy that his French fries were too soggy and thick.

Smithsonian Magazine writes, "Furious with such a fussy eater, Crum sliced some potatoes as slenderly as he could, fried them to a crisp and sent them out to Vanderbilt as a prank. Rather than take the gesture as an insult, Vanderbilt was overjoyed."

They were called Saratoga Chips at first, a reference to their birthplace of Saratoga, New York. Experts say the potato chip may have officially been invented before this famous showdown, but George Crum undoubtedly helped popularize the snack.

9. Popsicles

 food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining An 11-year-old accidentally invented popsicles.  Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash  

The official Popsicle brand itself says the frozen treat was invented by an 11-year-old boy in 1905.

Frank Epperson allegedly left a cup of soda, complete with a stick for stirring, outside on a cold night and was chagrinned to later find it frozen. However, one lick and he was convinced—frozen meant delicious! Young Frank named the treat after himself: "The Episcle."

An entrepreneurial little bugger, Epperson perfected the popsicle and began selling them around local beaches before patenting the pops in 1924.

10. Cheetos/cheese puffs/cheese curls

 food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining Cheetos and cheese puffs have a fascinating accidental origin.  Photo by Ryan Quintal on Unsplash  

I've always been curious about cheese curls, which are one of my all-time favorite snacks. What even is a cheese puff? The potato chip, though unique, makes sense: It's a deep fried, thin slice of potato. Cheetos and cheese curls are just so far from anything found in nature it boggles the mind how they might have been invented.

Well, boggle no more! In 1935, cheese puffs were accidentally invented in a factory that made animal feed. Corn was ground in a grinder to make the feed, but when it came time to clean the machine, the workers fed moist corn through. The resulting waste product was airy, puffy blobs of corn that would fall to the ground.

A worker named Edward Wilson decided to try some and found them utterly delicious, and thus named them Korn Kurls.

11. Worcestershire sauce

I love a good happy accident almost as much as I love Worcestershire sauce on my burgers and steaks. Luckily, this story has both.

In 1835, drug store owners John Lea and William Perrins were asked to recreate a sauce a local baron had tried during a visit to India. Their creation was an utter failure, smelling horribly and tasting worse. So they hid the batch they created in the basement and forgot about it for nearly two years.

According to Great British Chefs, "When they rediscovered it, it had aged well, turning into the fermented, umami-packed sauce we use today."

Canva

A woman pretends to faint. A cat side-eyes her.

First things first: cats know everything. Well, usually. So if you attempt to fake them out by pretending to faint for online clicks, most of them will be onto you immediately. This has become quite the trend over the last few years, and the cat reactions are, let’s just say, so-very-catlike.

In a Facebook reel compilation posted by Kitty 1st, people pretend to faint and/or die in front of their cats to see how they’d respond. With the chyron, “Pretend to faint to test the cat,” the first subject falls to the floor while their little grey fluff-ball sweetly rubs its body on their arm.

The next scenario didn’t fare as well. Dropping to the ground and pretending to be dead, their cat glanced over and then just walked on by, seemingly without a care in the world.

The next clip might be the best. A person is face down on the floor and their cat trots by, a little skip in its step. When the frisky feline sees their person presumably passed out or worse, they actually jump and keep on walking.

One woman lies on the floor and, when her adorable black cat doesn’t react, she picks her head up. At that exact moment, her cat falls to the ground with the caption, “I die too.” This is met with sweet laughter.

Another guy slides onto the ground, and his black cat could not care less. As it skulks off, someone (seemingly the cat, but probably not) pulls the body off camera.

@ellie_thetabby

Ill take that as a win #cats

The commenters feel seen. One jokes, “Since cats try to kill you on a regular basis, I’m sure they just think mission accomplished and move on their merry way. Until they get hungry anyway.”

Another asks, “Was it me or did one of the cats roll its eyes? I swear the cat must have been thinking ‘Over Actor.’ Lol.”

But many people in the comments take it seriously, as they know their cats are brilliant and empathetic. “Cats are smart and intuitive. They know when something is really not good and feel when someone is pretending that it is bad. Simple! They really know how to help a person and save him when they feel trouble.”

 cats, fake fainting, cat reactions, animals, cutness A cat rolls its eyes.  GIPHY, Saturday Night Live, NBC 

Research supports this. In Dr. Alice Barker’s article Can cats sense illness in humans” for Cats.com, she writes, “Cats have a famously refined sense of smell and it has been found that they can detect pheromone changes coming from the human body.”

She further adds, “When people get ill and the decomposition of cells causes chemical changes in the body, it is well evidenced that cats can sense the hormonal changes using their olfactory pathway.”

This knowledge has been around for a while, but Redditors took it to a psychological test. In the subreddit r/cats, someone asked “Do cats really love their owners?” The first comment is so pure: “It depends what you mean by ‘love.’ If you mean being generally obsessed with me, following me everywhere, demanding constant physical contact and rushing to me whenever I’m hurt, then yeah: pure, unadulterated, unmistakable love.”

 cats, love, pets, animals, humans Cat hugging person.  Photo by Chewy on Unsplash  

A few make jokes. “Love? Maybe. Stockholm syndrome? Possibly. Cats are tiny dictators who tolerate us because we’re their personal chefs. But when they curl up on your lap after a bad day, you’ll swear it’s love—and that’s all that matters!”

So if you fake-faint and your cat curls up next to you or just keeps walking, they probably love you either way.

One other note shared by this Redditor: “If you’re comparing cats to dogs (as most people unfairly do), a dog’s love is more like worship and a cat’s love is more human. It’s based on respect and if they like being around the person, rather than blindly adoring someone because they view them as a master. This is often why people who have only had dogs view cats as villainous and contemptuous; they’ve grown to expect absolute adoration from an animal whether or not they give anything in return."

To that point, for a little fun contrast, a person tried the “fake faint” with both a cat AND a dog. (Though it's noted more than once that both cats and dogs love their owners. Cats just aren't as equally fooled.)

  -Fake fainting in front of a cat and a dog.  www.youtube.com, @AxelineOfficial