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5 incredibly delicious chain restaurants you should never, ever eat at and 1 you should but can't

You know you want to. But sorry, you can't.

Fast food. It's kind of a big deal here in the USA.

A moment of silence, please. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.


And who could blame us? Fast food is, to use a scientific phrase, tasty as all get out.

But some chains, well. It's painful to admit, but they're bad for us.

Not because they're slowly clogging our arteries — we already knew that. Bad for us in the metaphorical heart, not the literal heart. Cosmically bad for us. Bad for us in that they pretend to be our friends, but in reality, they're talking behind our backs about how we have a weird-shaped face or whatever.

They're doing bad, shady things to the world is the point.

They are delicious. So so so so so so delicious.

But you can't eat there. You just can't.

#6. PAPA JOHN'S

Why it's so delicious:

If there's one belief that my big Italian family managed to drill into my brain when I was a kid, it's that chain pizza tastes about as good as an old rusty piece of sheet metal. Or maybe a used napkin, on a good day. And, like a fool, I never questioned it.

Until I met the "The Meats."

Oh. Hello there. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

The Meats is a pizza. From Papa John's. It is a pizza full of meat.

Here are the list of meats on The Meats:

  1. Sausage
  2. Pepperoni
  3. Beef
  4. Bacon
  5. Canadian bacon
  6. Eagle (probably)
  7. Sacrificial lamb (pretty sure I tasted that)
  8. Unicorn (definitely)

So yeah. That's it. Naples can pretty much just close up shop. There's just no more need.

Pack it in, boys. We're done here. Photo by Inviaggiocommons/Wikimedia Commons.

Oh, and see that little cup in the corner?

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

That's Papa John's special garlic sauce. It's basically garlic, butter, and chemicals that bring your grandmother back to life so that you can tell her you love her one last time, giving you that sense of closure you always needed. That's how good it is.

Papa John's also sells something called a "Cinnapie."

Suggested serving si— oh, never mind. Who am I kidding? Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

It's a cinnamon bun. The size of a pizza.

Needless to say, I totally didn't eat the whole thing in a single sitting. What are you looking at? Stop looking at me like that.

Why you can never, ever eat there:

Like most of America, I always assumed "Papa John's" was just a generic name ideated up in some corporate copy factory. Possibly tied into a mascot of some kind. A pizza-tossing horse maybe, with a vaguely racist mustache. Needless to say, I was extremely surprised to learn that Papa John is an actual human.

His name is John Schnatter, founder and CEO of Papa John's. And in a move that just screams "humility," he put himself on all the pizza boxes.

Of course this is him. Of course it is. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

In August 2012, Papa John got on the phone with a bunch of reporters to talk about the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare.

"Oh," you're probably saying to yourself, "I bet he wanted to discuss how awesome it is that, under the law, his kids can stay on his insurance until they're 26. Or how the law is expected to dramatically lower health care spending nationwide. Or maybe just gush about how happy he is for the millions of people who will now suddenly be covered for the first time in their lives. I bet that was what that was about."

Nope. He mostly wanted to explain that Obamacare means you'll be paying more for pizza. And you're gonna like it.

Byron Tau, Politico:

"If Obamacare is in fact not repealed, we will find tactics to shallow out any Obamacare costs and core strategies to pass that cost onto consumers in order to protect our shareholders' best interests," Schnatter vowed.

Specifically, 11-14 cents more. Which means ... sorry University of Minnesota-Twin Cities Cribbage Club, the cost of next Wednesday's pizza-n-chill info sesh just increased by about $1.56. Thanks, Obama!

Oh, and Schnatter also implied that some franchisees would cut worker hours to get out of having to provide them with health care required for employees working over 30 hours a week under the ACA. Of course, he later clarified that he wasn't saying he would cut their hours personally but, you know — it's out of his hands.

Nice prescription plan you got there. Shame if something happened to it. Photo by Ildar Sagdejev/Wikimedia Commons.

Now, you might be thinking, "Well, sure, that's harsh, but look. He's just trying to do the best he can in a shaky economy. If he's asking his employees and customers to take one for the team, I'm sure he's making an even bigger sacrifice somehow. Because Papa John is a leader. And that's what leaders do." And naively, I assumed that too.

Until I found out about his house.

Sarah Firshein, Curbed:

"Schnatter lives in a 40,000-square-foot castle on 16 acres in Kentucky; the property includes a 22-car underground garage ('complete with an office for valet parking, a car wash, and even a motorized turntable to move limousines') and a 6,000-square-foot detached carriage house."

That's right. Papa John is Batman.

Now, numbers are just numbers. It's hard to get an idea of what 40,000 square feet looks like without actually seeing it in real life.

Thankfully, I used to live about 20 minutes away from Papa John, so I drove to his house and took a picture.

Like most rich people's homes, it is blocked by a sh*t ton of bushes. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Just trust me. It's a freaking enormous house. You can Google it.

I certainly don't begrudge the guy having a garish, cream-colored mansion the size of a small moon. Hell, I have one too in my dreams. But dude. You're gonna live in that thing and then threaten to nickel-and-dime your customers and employees on pepperoni prices and healthcare? Bad optics. Bad, bad optics.

It's like that old sailor saying, "A captain always watches the ship go down with all his crew screaming inside of it as he soars away in his private helicopter."

Don't eat at Papa John's. I know you want to. I want to. But don't. Just don't.

#5. SONIC

Yes, please. Let's go to Sonic right now.

BEHOLD! The mighty bacon cheeseburger toaster! Gaze ye upon it in all its glory! A third-pound patty of heavenly manna slathered in barbecue sauce on two slices of Texas toast.

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

And what's this in my cup holder? Is this the fabled CHERRY LIMEADE OF LEGEND? Miraculous lime wedges and a maraschino cherry sinking beneath the roughly crushed ice pellets into a sea of pink sugary mirth? Verily, do not look directly at it, or it will surely blind you.

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Oh, hey — look! Some onion rings. Cool.

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Sorry, bub. No more Sonic. Not ever.

Fast food is delicious. We've already established that. But the typical fast food experience? Usually leaves something to be desired. Take a burger, wrap it in some paper, and slap it on a tray. Maybe you squirt some ketchup into a thing, and that's the highlight.

But not at Sonic. Sonic has a concept.

You see, Sonic is a drive-in. And you get car-side service. From carhops. Just like in the '50s.

All of these children are currently collecting Social Security. Photo by ftzdomino/Flickr.

Indeed, very little has changed at Sonic in the past 60-odd years.

Including salaries for Sonic carhops.

As of May 2014, the median hourly wage for fast food workers in America was $9.19/hour. Which is objectively terrifying. But compared to comparable employees at Sonic, other fast food workers are straight up building motorized limousine turns in their 40,000-square-foot castles.

As of June 2015, Sonic carhops made roughly $6.70/hour on average, according to Glassdoor. Even as a survey estimate, that's far less than the (already meager) federal minimum wage and state minimum wages in all but eight states.

How is that even legal? According to multiple former carhops, and at least one official complaint, because Sonic crew members bring the food to you (often on roller skates), they are classified as tipped employees at some stores and therefore exempt from minimum wage requirements.

Which begs the question. Do people tip Sonic carhops?

Maybe. Maybe not. At the very least, it is the subject of great confusion on the Internet.

Sonic certainly doesn't make it easy either. Here's what happened when I tried to pay at Sonic's automated credit card reader back in March...

No receipt. No place to tip.

At this point, you're like, "Ooh, burger!" and proceed to forget about your fiduciary responsibility to your fellow humans. But even if you do remember when the carhop eventually brings out your receipt, there's no tip line.

Both times I went, only the customer copy came out. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

So you have to tip in cash. Which you might or might not have. At least that's what happened to me when I went (for ... uh, research).

No matter how you look at it, it's really difficult to tip at Sonic. So lots of people just don't do it.

To confirm this suspicion, I creeped on the guy next to me.

Not him. But this is a public domain image of the truck he was driving. Photo by IFCAR/Wikimedia Commons.

And sure enough, no tip. Nada.

Stop going to Sonic, everyone. Stop it right now. Don't even think about it.

I know you're thinking about it. Stop.

#4. WENDY'S

Wendy's is amazing.

Wendy's is all like: We're the Target to McDonald's Walmart. Sure, we look similar, but our food just seems ... better, doesn't it? Healthier and more ethical, somehow. You can totally trust us. We'll even sell you a baked potato if you want!


But instead, you get this. And no jury in the world would convict you. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Wendy's is an infernal den of smoke and mirrors.

Wendy's: We actually pay even less than McDonald's does.


Average crew member salaries. McDonald's photo by Cruiser/Wikimedia Commons [altered]. Wendy's photo by Mike Mozart/Flickr.

Ha! Gotcha hook, line, and sinker, you fast food hippie!

#3. CRACKER BARREL

You guys. Cracker Barrel. Cracker Barrel, you guys.

Quick, here's a pop quiz. How much food can you get for $8.99?

Six! Six dishes! Ah ah ah! Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

If you responded "all of it," congratulations, you have won. If you are among the folks historically lucky enough to be at Cracker Barrel right now, you can avail yourself of meatloaf (solid), chicken and dumplings (delicious), fried okra (heavenly), and a big piece of ham ('nuff said). Also baked beans, turnip greens, and two corn muffins. All for less than nine dollars.

"But Eric," you might whine, "All that food is so ... beige."

Yeah. Beige like a fox.

Not beige. Photo by digitalprimate/Flickr.

Listen. There is nothing that looks less appetizing than classic American comfort fare. It's mushy, brown, and smells kind of like baby food. But it is freaking delicious. If you want texture and vibrant colors in your food, go eat pad Thai.*

*Seriously, go eat pad Thai. Pad Thai is delicious. You should always be eating pad Thai.

Also, have I mentioned this?

There's your color, you jerks. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

That's raspberry sweet tea. If you could take the feeling you get when your aunt Helen presents you with a hand-knit sweater on Christmas morning and liquefy it, that's what you'd get. Free refills too! You could, and should, have eight of those.

Seriously? Don't go to Cracker Barrel. What were you thinking?!

I'll tell you why in a minute. But first we have to talk about segregation.

Photo by Jack Delano/Wikimedia Commons.

Segregation. One of the darkest chapters in American history. Under the pretense of separate-but-equal, white leaders in the South excluded black Americans from nearly all aspects of public life. But after decades of heartache, violence, and struggle, thanks to the historic efforts of Martin Luther King Jr. and other civil rights leaders, segregation was finally legally abolished in 1965.

Except at Cracker Barrel, which waited until 2004, when the U.S. Justice Department told them, "No, really. Now stop."

Fox News:

"At least 42 plaintiffs, including the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, accused the Lebanon, Tenn.-based company of discrimination in federal lawsuits filed in Georgia. Black customers in 16 states also said they were subjected to racial slurs and served food taken from the trash, while Cracker Barrel management ignored or condoned such actions.

The announcement comes four months after the company settled a Justice Department lawsuit accusing Cracker Barrel of similar discrimination claims at dozens of restaurants, mainly in the South. That settlement found that black customers at many of the country store-themed restaurants were seated in areas segregated from white patrons, frequently received inferior service and often were made to wait longer for tables. Blacks who complained about poor service also were treated less favorably than whites, the settlement said."

"OK," you're probably saying. "Fair enough. But that was over a decade ago." (Side note: 2004 was over a decade ago. You are so old.) And you'd be right! Cracker Barrel hasn't been accused of serving black people food from the garbage or segregating its dining rooms since Usher's "Confessions Part II" was on the radio. A lifetime ago (if you're a medium-sized dog)!

But while Cracker Barrel has undeniably gotten better, let's just say the road to full enlightenment has ... taken a weird detour in the past few years.

You see, Cracker Barrel isn't just a restaurant. It's also a store. A country store. The kind ma and pa used to run out back behind Old Murdoch's soda fountain, as imagined by the VP of branding of a multimillion-dollar biscuit corporation.

You might also be familiar with a little show on the A&E Network called, "Duck Dynasty," about a talking beard and his family...


Photo by Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons.

...who murder your favorite Sesame Street character over and over again.

Please don't kill me. I love you. Photo by Tom Morris/Wikimedia Commons.

It turns out the talking beard has opinions on more than just eliminating Donald, Scrooge, Daffy, Darkwing, and all the McDuck triplets from God's green earth, which he expressed in a 2013 interview with GQ:

“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I'm with the blacks because we're white trash. We're going across the field. ... They're singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, 'I tell you what: These doggone white people'—not a word! ... Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues."

This, understandably, ruffled a few feathers (presumably, Robertson later shot the duck said feathers were on).

But times change. This isn't the '60s anymore (or, in Cracker Barrel's case, the early '00s). And mercifully, Cracker Barrel did the absolute minimum amount of the right thing they could possibly do and pulled some (not even all!) Duck Dynasty merchandise from their stores.

Until, like, a day later when they put it all back.

Corinne Lestch, The Daily News:

"Company brass did an about-face on Sunday — re-shelving the goods and apologizing for 'offending' any customers...

'You flat out told us we were wrong. We listened. Today, we are putting all our Duck Dynasty products back in our stores. And, we apologize for offending you,' officials wrote in a statement posted on its Facebook page."

Backbone, ladies and gentlemen. Curvy, weird duck backbone.

Since that was two years ago, I went back the other day to see if maybe Cracker Barrel had quietly phased out the Robertson's T-shirts and hoodies when no one was paying attention. But sure enough...

One day, I'll make Duck Admiral. One day. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Boom. Still there.

For maximum effect, they are shelved right next to the military swag.

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Because putting your life on the line to defend the United States of America from enemies at home and abroad is about as noble as mowing down a bunch of waterfowl with a high-powered semi-automatic.

Minus 7 bazillion for that, Cracker Barrel. But hey! Plus one for stocking Goldenberg's Peanut Chews.

The bomb. Dot edu. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Those things are my jam.

If you go to Cracker Barrel, we are so not talking. Yep. You heard me. The camping trip to Red River Gorge is going to be awkward.

#2. CHICK-FIL-A

The Chick-fil-A original chicken sandwich is the pinnacle of human achievement.

The pyramids. The Magna Carta. The Apollo missions. PlayStation 4. This season of "The Bachelorette."

Combine them all. Multiply by 10. Sprinkle with holy water and shoot them out of a cannon into the sun. What you get is not even worth half the pickle chip on a Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich.

Your move, Ancient Egyptians. Photo by Jay Reed/Flickr.

Between those two unassuming buns is an explosion of salt, fat, umami (whatever the hell that is), and the overwhelming feeling that justice has been done somewhere in the world. If they could speak, any chicken would surely tell you that being hacked up into tiny bits, deep fried, and stuffed in this sandwich is like getting into Chicken Princeton.

In fact, the first bite of any Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich is such a sacred experience that they close all the restaurants on Sundays.

And I haven't even mentioned the waffle fries.

You know what? Best not. Best not even mention the waffle fries. Photo by Jay Reed/Flickr.

OMIGOD, you guys, you can absolutely never, ever, ever eat at Chick-fil-A.

Look. I'm not naive. I know that, deep down, most of my favorite brands are probably giving lots of money to nightmarishly evil causes on the sly.

My favorite brands. Also, I have favorite brands? Gross. Image by J.J./Wikimedia Commons.

I have to believe Apple just put a down payment on a giant coal plant somewhere in China. I'm sure Doritos wants to repeal the estate tax. And dollars to doughnuts Krispy Kreme is investing in Sudanese cobalt mines. But at least I can take comfort in the fact that it's not personal. It's just what's best for business.


Business. Photo by thetaxhaven/Flickr.

Chick-fil-A is one of those brands. But what sets Chick-fil-A apart is that their donations have nothing at all to do with putting more money in the hands of their obscenely wealthy top brass and everything to do with making sure Dan at the register and Leon at the drive-thru window can't file their taxes together even though they love each other deeply.

Josh Israel, ThinkProgress:

"As Chick-fil-A's corporate foundation came under heavy criticism last year for its long record of anti-LGBT behavior, the company attempted to distance itself from its political record, claiming it intended 'to leave the policy debate over same-sex marriage to the government and political arena.'

But despite suggestions by some that the company's WinShape Foundation had already scaled back its anti-LGBT giving before that point, its newly released annual IRS filings for 2011 indicate nothing of the sort...

In 2011, the group actually gave even more to anti-LGBT causes. Its contribution to the Marriage & Family Foundation jumped to $2,896,438 and it gave the same amount to the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and National Christian Foundation as it had in 2010. In total, the anti-LGBT spending exceeded $3.6 million — almost double the $1.9 million from the year before."



Look, I give Chick-fil-A a lot of latitude. After all, they make an absolutely bomb chicken sandwich.

Still,  I'm really not sure I want them to weigh in on whether Leon gets to visit Dan in the hospital when Dan is 97 and has terminal shingles.

Now, unlike most of the other examples on this list, Chick-fil-A got big press play. There were boycotts, counter-boycotts, and counter-counter-boycotts. Which prompted CEO Dan Cathy to reach way down deep and do some soul searching.

The conclusion he came to?

"You know what, I just realized we're a chicken company. Probably best not to get involved after all."

"Cathy agreed that the 'lingering identity' of Chick-fil-A with 'anti-gay groups' that jumped to its defense in 2012 has meant 'alienating market segments.'

'Consumers want to do business with brands that they can interface with, that they can relate with,' Cathy said. 'And it's probably very wise from our standpoint to make sure that we present our brand in a compelling way that the consumer can relate to.'"

And Chick-fil-A made good on its word — sort of.

According to their tax documents from 2012, Chick-fil-A only donated to one anti-LGBT group that year. That's down from — and I'm using a technical term here — a buttload in 2010-2011.

But that's still one more donation to an anti-gay group than a reasonable chicken sandwich company should be proffering.

So keep up the fire. Do not eat at Chick-fil-A.

Believe me, I know it hurts. But stay strong.

#1. IN-N-OUT BURGER

It gives me no pleasure to break this to you, but you probably can't eat at In-N-Out Burger.

Photo by Zink Dawg/Wikimedia Commons.

"Wait, nooooooo! I love In-N-Out," you might be thinking. "I thought they were actually pretty good corporate citizens."

"I'm going to punch you in the face if you tell me I can't eat at In-N-Out," you might also be thinking.

And I don't blame you. Because In-N-Out is so freaking good. But please. Just go with me here. I promise I'll explain everything. You've made it 4,000 words. Bear with me for a few more. It's all I ask.

In-N-Out Burger: cheesy meat patty of the gods.

This is what a triple-triple from In-N-Out looks like.

Stop it. Photo by Christian Razukas/Flickr.

This is it. The most delicious burger on the planet. You can keep your Shake Shacks, your Five Guys, and your Smashburgi. This is truly, madly, deeply the one.

If you actually took one of those burgers and put it under a microscope, this is what you would see.

If you zoomed even further in, you would learn the exact moment you were going to die. To this day, no one has done it. Painting by Johann Liss/Wikimedia Commons.

And the best part? The burgers are super cheap.

There aren't enough superlatives in the world to do the place justice. There is no greater pleasure in this world than the taste of an In-N-Out cheeseburger. That's a fact.

And I've been to a Bon Jovi concert.

So what's the problem? Why can't I eat at In-N-Out??!?!

You can't eat at In-N-Out Burger because you are probably among the approximately 76% of Americans who don't live in California, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, or Texas.


And coming soon, Oregon! Photo by Dave Sizer/Flickr.

As your West Coast friends probably never fail to remind you every single day of your life, In-N-Out burger is their secret special thing.

Dear God. Please. Shut. Up. Image via Thinkstock.

And as much as I hate to admit it, they're basically right. As of June 2015,  In-N-Out burger is only available in five states. And, statistically speaking, you probably don't live in one of them.

It's a massive shame for the rest of us. Because compared to most of its chain brethren, In-N-Out is basically a choirboy, straight-A-student role model.

Sure, In-N-Out is a multimillion-dollar meat factory like the rest of 'em. But, relatively speaking, In-N-Out has a lot going for it. A lot going for it.

It is one of very, very, very few high-profile companies in America owned by a woman.

It's food is also reasonably locally sourced and fresh, even earning praise from "Fast Food Nation" author Eric Schlosser.

And, perhaps, most importantly:

The average In-N-Out crew associate makes $11.61/hour(as of June 2015, according to Glassdoor). Not super great in the grand scheme of things but a fortune by fast food standards.

In-N-Out proves that it is possible to operate a profitable, reliably delicious fast food chain in 2015 and not be a complete ethical idiot.

Plus, let's not forget...

#Neverforget. Photo by Christian Razukas/Flickr.

Here's my advice. Move to California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, or Texas right now. Or Oregon, to jump the trend. And go get yourself an In-N-Out Burger.

You will thank me tomorrow.

And every day. For the rest of your life.

Science

Innovative farm in Virginia can grow 4 million pounds of strawberries on less than one acre

This method uses 97 percent less land and up to 90 percent less water than conventional farming.

A new way to grow strawberries with less land, less water, and more berries.

Strawberry farm harvests aren't something most of us calculate on a regular basis (or ever at all), but the numbers from a strawberry farm in Richmond, Virginia, are staggering enough to make it worth an old-school word problem. If the average American eats 8 pounds of strawberries a year, and an average strawberry farm yields approximately 20,000 pounds of berries per acre, how many people could a 200-acre strawberry field feed?

I won't make you do the math. The answer is 500,000 people. But what if a crop that size, providing enough strawberries for half a million people, could be grown on just one acre instead of 200? It's possible. You just have to go—or rather grow—up, up, up.

Indoor vertical farm company Plenty Unlimited knows a lot about growing up. In fact, it's their entire business model. Instead of the sprawling fields that traditional farming methods require, vertical farms have a much smaller land footprint, utilizing proprietary towers for growing. Plenty has used vertical farming methods to grow greens such as lettuce, kale, spinach and more for years, but now it boasts a vertical berry farm that can yield a whopping 4 million pounds of strawberries on a little less than an acre.

Growing indoors means not being at the mercy of weather or climate inpredictability (barring a storm taking out your building), which is wise in the era of climate change. Unlike a traditional greenhouse which still uses the sun for light, Plenty's indoor vertical farms make use of the latest technology and research on light, pinpointing the wavelengths plants need from the sun to thrive and recreating them with LED lights. Plenty farms also don't use soil, as what plants really need is water and nutrients, which can be provided without soil (and with a lot less water than soil requires). Being able to carefully control water and nutrients means you can more easily control the size, taste and uniformity of the berries you’re growing.

If that sounds like a lot of control, it is. And that idea might freak people out. But when a highly controlled environment means not having to use pesticides and using up to 90% less water than traditional farming, it starts to sound like a solid, sustainable farming innovation.

Plenty even uses AI in its strawberry farm, according to its website:

“Every element of the Plenty Richmond Farm–including temperature, light and humidity–is precisely controlled through proprietary software to create the perfect environment for the strawberry plants to thrive. The farm uses AI to analyze more than 10 million data points each day across its 12 grow rooms, adapting each grow room’s environment to the evolving needs of the plants – creating the perfect environment for Driscoll’s proprietary plants to thrive and optimizing the strawberries’ flavor, texture and size.”

Plenty even has its own patent-pending method of pollinating the strawberry flowers that doesn’t require bees. Even just the fact that this enormous crop of strawberries will be coming from Virginia is notable, since the vast majority of strawberries in the U.S. are grown in California.

strawberry fieldTraditional strawberry farming takes up a lot of land.Photo credit: Canva

Plenty's Richmond farm is currently growing strawberries exclusively for Driscoll’s.

“Partnering with Plenty for the launch of the Richmond Farm allows us to bring our premium strawberries closer to consumers in the Northeast, the largest berry consumption region in the U.S.,” Driscoll’s CEO Soren Bjorn said in a press release. “By combining our 100 years of farming expertise and proprietary varieties along with Plenty’s cutting-edge technology, we can deliver the same consistent flavor and quality our customers love — now grown locally. This new innovative farm is a powerful step forward in continuing to drive category growth in new ways for our customers and consumers.”

Is Plenty’s model the farm of the future? Perhaps it’s one option, at least. The more we grapple with the impact of climate change and outdated, unsustainable farming practices, the more innovative ideas we’ll need to feed the masses. If they can get 4 million pounds of strawberries out of an acre of land, what else is possible?

This article originally appeared in February

Education

Mom is shocked when her daughter says state writing exams don’t involve writing anymore

“Are you saying that in the 1900s you had to hand write all of your exams?”

Mom shocked after daughter reveals there's no writing in state writing exam.

State standardized testing isn't something that most kids or parents look forward to. They're typically long, boring, and don't accurately measure how well every child understands the information they've been taught throughout the year. But it's currently the only way for states to get measurable data on the education happening in public schools.

Erin Monroe was driving her daughter to school when she learned her daughter had state testing in English Language Arts (ELA). To no one's surprise, Monroe's daughter was not thrilled about taking state testing, especially for a test that likely required a lot of reading and writing. This was Monroe's time to shine by pulling out her pep talking and comforting skills to ensure her 6th grader had positive words to remember during testing.

season 7 episode 6 GIFGiphy

The mom wasn't prepared for the emotional whiplash she was about to endure when her daughter dropped the truth of her ELA exam. There's no manual writing involved.

"I was like, I get it. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of reading and writing but we all had to do it. Just do your very best and get to it, I know your hand's going to really be hurting at the end of the day," Monroe recalls about the conversation with her confused daughter before reiterating to her child that it involves a lot of writing.

This bit of information not only confused but amused the middles schooler who came back with a bit of a reality check for the mom by giving her the amusing truth of today. "And she goes, 'wait, are you trying...are you saying that in the 1900s you had to handwrite all of your exams?'"

diane guerrero latina GIF by IdentityGiphy

She threw in the 1900s. THE. 1900s. As if to make it seem like this millennial mom was really riding in a buggy trying to survive dysentery. After the insult and revelation that there was no handwriting involved in the state ELA test, Monroe jokingly kicked her daughter out of her car.

"You're trying to tell me you're complaining about doing your exam and you get to type it? Um, absolutely not. First of all don't call it the early 1900s and it was good character development," Monroe says she told her daughter.

There's something about the reminder of growing up in the "1900s" that just takes the wind out of your metaphorical sailboat. Viewers of the video were equally amused and shocked by this seemingly new information with one person recalling, "The fear they instilled in us for not having #2 pencils."

"Do the blue books not exist anymore?!?!?!?!?" someone demanded to know.

"My kids literally said their state tests are on their laptops & I wholeheartedly got mad for a second, if you don’t give these kids a scantron!!!!!!!" another chimes in.

Dexters Laboratory Type GIFGiphy

"I still have the calluses on my index finger… 20 years later," someone else jokes.

"My 6th grader was also complaining about her writing exam and it never even occurred to me that she wasn't actually writing.. I'm going to go sit in the rocking chair and watch Wheel of Fortune," another commenter writes.

"I was showing kids the 'tools' they can use to take their test - ruler, highlighter, magnifier, etc. I'm the librarian and also teach some tech, but I used to teach 4th grade, so I was explaining that the last time I gave the test, it was on paper and the tools were cardstock. One of the kids said, 'What, in, like, 1965'?' I'm 49. Child."

Modern Families

Mom calls out unfair 'double standard' of boomer grandparents who don't help with childcare

"I love my mom dearly, but I'm surprised at how little effort she puts in."

A stressed mom and her happy, busy parents.

As far as generational stereotypes go, baby boomers (1946 to 1964) have often been accused of being a self-absorbed generation that has had no problem hoarding wealth, disregarding the environment, and prioritizing their own interests over their families. After all, they’re the generation that predominantly raised Gen X (1965 to 1980) and older millennials ('80s babies), also known as Gen Goonie, who were the least parented group of people in decades.

It’s unfair to paint an entire generation with the same brush. Still, the people who were once called the “Me Generation” are developing a reputation for being less involved in their grandchildren’s lives than their parents. The different grandparenting styles have been attributed to the fact that boomers worked longer and therefore want to enjoy their retirement. They also have more money than their parents to enjoy traveling and pursuing their hobbies. Those looking to take shots at boomers claim that they didn’t put a lot of effort into raising their kids, so why would they be any different with their grandkids?

boomers, grandparents, absentee grandparents, milennials, grandpa, grandmaBaby boomer grandparents.via Canva/Photos

A mother of one, who goes by TheCalmQuail on Mumsnet (a UK-based mothers' forum), made a controversial post, calling out a significant double standard when it comes to boomers. They had no problem having their parents help raise their kids, but they don’t want to extend the same courtesy to their children.

“It's come up in a few conversations with other parents recently about how little time their parents spend with their children, especially in comparison to when they were younger and at their grandparents' daily,” CalmQuail wrote. “Myself included, I avoided nursery completely when my mother went back to work because free daily childcare from a relative, and some of my happiest regular memories are spending regular one-on-one time with my Nana.”

“I realise grandparents are entitled to their own lives, but the lack of help does seem like double standards, when a large majority have seemingly had so much help themselves,” she continued.

stressed mom, young mom, stressed millennial, woman hands on her head, woman on couchA stressed mom with her head in her hands.via Canva/Photos

CalmQuail added that her mother lives up the road from her but still finds excuses not to help our child or even spend time with her kid. “It often feels like she's an extra toddler, as I have to suggest stuff to tempt her to do anything together; I manage the logistics, drive her there, etc. She will be there for emergency childcare requests when possible,” she continued. At the end of her post, she asked whether she was being unreasonable for thinking that her parents should put as much effort into raising their grandchildren as they had put into raising their parents.

The verdict: 68% thought she was NOT being unreasonable, and 32% felt that she was being unreasonable. Therefore, a majority of parents on the forum believe that Baby Boomers have the same responsibility to their grandchildren as the Silent Generation (1928 to 1945) did to theirs.

Many parents on the forum have experienced similar situations with their boomer parents and have given them a little grace by acknowledging that their grandparents didn’t have many resources or retirement expectations, so they dedicated their energy to their families.

stressed woman, tired mom, woman doing laundry, woman needs help, crying woman, folding laundryA stressed mom doing laundry.via Canva/Photos

“I know this will turn into a boomer bashing thread but my experience is my parents and their friends are early retirees with a fair bit of cash and feel they’ve earnt a nice easy long comfortable retirement (they have worked hard but only the same as us except we can’t afford a nanny, cleaner etc like they did…).so they’re busy on holidays, golfing, socialising,” a commenter wrote. “My grandparents were typical of their generation—very hard working, modest life, and incredibly family orientated, they had us every holiday.”

“I don’t think my grandparents had much in the way of expectations of retirement,” another commenter added. “They retired relatively early by today’s standards, and lived far longer than they expected. There wasn’t much of a sense of ‘enjoying your retirement’ by jetting off around the world or pursuing personal hobbies - they were always there and available.”

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with baby boomers enjoying their retirement, but their children have a right to feel a bit miffed by the shift in grandparenting priorities. As times change, so do expectations, but why does it feel like younger people are always getting the short end of the stick when it comes to life's necessities, such as childcare and the cost of living? Unfortunately, so many younger people feel like they have to go it alone. However, kudos to the boomer grandparents who do help out with childcare, just as their parents did. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child, and these days, our villages need to be growing instead of shrinking.

Joy

Rob Lowe's attempt to delight kids by dressing as the Easter Bunny goes hilariously wrong

Not even his celebrity status could spare him form this all-too-relatable parenting moment.

David Shankbone/Wikipedia, Oriental Trading

Rob Lowe (left) East Bunny costume (right)

When you’re a parent, sometimes those well-intentioned plans to add a little magic to your kid’s lives go off without a hitch, and other times…not so much. This goes especially for anything involving costumed characters. Santa, clowns, Disney mascots, you name it—they can either be a dream come true, or a living, screaming nightmare.

And that’s why a video showing actor Rob Lowe accidentally striking utter terror into the hearts of a few kids this past Easter Sunday feels like such a “stars, they're just like us” moment.

Lowe, who had apparently been celebrating the holiday with his Parks and Recreation co-star Chris Pratt, attempted to infuse some Easter joy by dressing up in an Easter Bunny costume. It even had a sky blue jacket and matching bowtie.

In an Instagram reel shared on April 21 by Pratt’s wife, Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt, we first see Lowe getting into his ensemble.

“Rob, this looks incredible,” Schwarzenegger says.

Cut to a fully dressed Lowe Bunny making his grand entrance…to the sound of children screaming in horror. No amount of eggs scattered on the ground could quell their fears and pretty soon Lowe Bunny hops away in retreat.

Lowe later shows up, very sweaty and out of breath, to Easter lunch (sans Bunny costume) pretending like he has no idea what just happened.

"I just hopped on over when I heard he was here,” he quips, to which Pratt says "Oh, you missed him!"

Honestly the whole thing very much plays out like a classic Parks and Rec scene. Watch:

Down in the comments, people got a good chuckle at the relatable fiasco.

“The fact that this is real life and not a show is absolutely incredible.”

“The screaming children make it worth it 😂”

“Literally…the greatest Easter moment😂”

“Lmao he tried so hard 😂 poor bunny was falling apart 😂”

“It’s the cottontail and kid hysterics for me 😂”

One person even joked, “OMG John Stamos dressed as the Easter bunny at your brunch? 😋😂” referencing a funny moment that happened not three days prior, where a Hollywood tour guide accidentally mistook the West Wing actor for Stamos. Poor Lowe is having a week.

All jokes aside, it can be easy for adults to forget that young children's fear of costumes, also known as masklophobia, can stem from a few key factors. For one thing, they haven't yet developed the ability to differentiate between fantasy and reality, making it deeply unsettling for a character—whose life-sized version feels ginormous—to suddenly appear in real life.

Plus, masks present a slew of scaries. Kid's facial recognition skills are still developing, and they may find it unsettling to see a face hidden behind a mask or costume, especially if they're not used to it. Even for those youngsters who are adept at facial recognition, the static expression of a masked character can also seem intimidating because they are difficult to read and therefore hard to know what their intentions are.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Lastly, the whole thing might just be a little too much for kids who are sensitive to a lot of stimuli. That’s why it’s helpful for parents to be mindful of where a child’s limits are, and work around them. But hey, parenting mistakes happen. And once the screams are over, we can all have a good laugh about them.

Image via Canva

Mom removes young daughter's mustache after she is bullied.

Kids can find plenty of reasons to bully one another, and for many young girls, an easy target for bullies is making fun of dark hair or peach fuzz above the upper lip.

Rather than let her daughter's 'mustache' subject her to ridicule from her classmates, mom Aubrye (@eyrbua) shared on TikTok that she decided to remove it. It's a decision that's sparked debate among other parents.

"My daughter came home from school one day crying saying kids were making fun of her mustache and asked me to 'take it off," she shared in the video's caption.

@eyrbua

#girlmom #girlhood #momsoftiktok #parentsoftiktok #daughter #momanddaughter #fyp #girls #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #blowthisupforme

In the video, Aubrye can be seen removing her daughter's unwanted facial hair in the video while the song "Being a Girl" by Jonica plays in the background. In the caption, she explains her decision to take off the extra peach fuzz: "I reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what but if she wanted me to to take it off for her to feel better I'd do that," she writes.

She ends the caption with a closing statement to solidify the choice: "I always want my baby to feel beautiful and confident."

In the comment section, Aubrye added an update on how it made her daughter feel. "Since doing it, her confidence is through the roof, her grades have gotten better and she comes home from school happy all the time. Definitely worth seeing my little girl happy," she wrote.


mustache, girl, gif, tiktok, debateGirl Illustration GIF by Valérie BoivinGiphy

Many parents were supportive of Aubrye's decision.

"Thank you for helping her instead of just telling her to suck it up."

"I would never understand mothers who refuse to let their daughters shave."

"This is how you parent correctly. My daughter came home complaining about her eyebrows saying people were making fun of her. So I cleaned them up for her," one parent shared, to which Aubrye replied, "You’re a great mama 🩷 I always want to support my daughters and help their confidence any way I can."

applause, praise, gif, support, clapJennifer Lopez Applause GIF by NBC World Of DanceGiphy

Others were more conflicted about it:

"I also have a small daughter but I don't know how I feel about it because okay she took her little mustache off but what's next? If they don't like something else about her, she's gonna try to keep changing for these kids. She should just learn to be a little tougher. Or maybe just go to the school directly. I don't know I feel so conflicted."

"Personally, I’d be teaching my kid to verbally and if necessary physically stand up to bullies. Teaching them that conventional beauty is fake. It’s made up. My kid should not be shaving or changing her body in ANY way. Just to accommodate someone else’s opinions of them. To me, that just teaches them to do that their whole lives. I’d rather teach my kid to clock a bully than be a doormat."

"My daughter has been bullied for the same reason! But I have taught her to always say my mustache makes me special 🥰 and it has worked for her confidence to have a cute mustache🥸."

Whether people agreed or disagreed with her decision to remove her daughter's mustache, the post resonated with many women who grew up with the same experience:

"Ok so I’m 52 and this is me. Kids use to bully me for having a mustache and unibrow. This was back in the 80s. Kid were even meaner. Thank you for hearing her. And helping her. No one helped me," one wrote.

Another shared, "I got bullied for my mustache. Didn’t shave it until an adult and only to scrape the dead skin off. Teach your kids to love themselves. They’d say 'you’re a girl, why do you have a mustache?!'"

"My mom never let me and she doesn’t know how much it affected me that she didn’t," shared one more.