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17 people with 'I want to talk to your manager' parents reveal their most embarrassing moments.

17 people with 'I want to talk to your manager' parents reveal their most embarrassing moments.
via Shutterstock

It might be embarrassing to have your parents pay to cheat your way into a top college, but having your parents yell at an innocent retail or restaurant worker is definitely up there.

Even though you'd think that most people would have a sense of empathy and be kind to people in the trenches of department stores and restaurants, most of the time people who have had the luxury of never working these jobs feel entitled.

Whether it's throwing a temper tantrum about there not being enough lemons in a free tap water, trying to cut the line or complain their way into free stuff — it's always something.


When a recent Reddit thread asked, "Children of 'I want to talk to your manager' parents, what has been your most embarrassing experience?" the internet was ready to share their most cringe-worthy, secondhand shameful moments.

1. You mom needs anger management, "elsoov."

I was 13 when this happened. My mom had made a reservation at a hotel for a trip, but when she got there the lady said there was some error with the reservation and that my mom’s payment didn’t go through, so the lady offered us a double bed room for a discount.

Rather than just taking the room, thanking the lady, and leaving, my mom decided the best course of action would be to scream, in the middle of a hotel lobby, “NOBODY IS GOING ANYWHERE TIL I GET MY FUCKING ROOM!” She then proceeded to pester the lady, who clearly couldn’t do anything about it, until eventually she called the police on my mom for public disturbance. Mortifying.

2. Napkins are important, "snopal."

Not my parent but grandparent. When I was around 10 years old my grandmother went out and got us (her, my brother, and me) McDonald's. We got home and we didn't have napkins in the bags. No big deal, right? We have paper towels and napkins in the house, also me and my brother are pretty good with not making any messes while we eat.

Nope. Grandmother got us in the car, drove back to McDonald's, demanded a manager, and screeched about how upset she was that we didn't get any napkins. I wanted to just melt into the floor and disappear. It's just napkins, Nanny....

3. Oh my god, "solus-esse-nolo."

My Mum demanded to see a café's hygiene certificate when she saw an employee go from cutting cake in the kitchen to handling money at the till, even though the real problem is going the other way.

4. The floor is gross, though, "ohhellnoxd."

When I was a young child on a long distance flight my mother let me and my brother sleep on the floor. For safety reasons the flight attendants told my mother that we were not allowed to sleep on the floor. She started to argue with the flight attendants who then turned to the pilots.

The pilots threatened to turn the plane around unless we get up from the floor but she continued to argue. The pilots announced they were about to turn around because of my mother, so all the passengers got pissed. Eventually she caved in when she had all passengers and flight crew on a Boeing 747 against her..

5. Oh no, "psychswot."

I was with my parents on vacation and the hotel put charges on the bill by accident. My mom marched to the front desk and demanded to see the manager. There was a long line, but she cut right in front of it. The manager wasn't very helpful, probably because she was rude.

So my mom, went to all the other customers in line and told them that the hotel was a scam and they were ripping us off with fake charges. She made a scene. The hotel called the police and we were escorted off the premises by actual cops. I died inside.

6. Ok this sounds like low key assault of a minor, "cok3noic3."

Ugh, my dad. He can be such a prick if you get his order wrong, it could be fast food or a nice sit down restaurant. He often yells at wait staff if they “undercook” his steak. It has to be well done or he claims to have lost his appetite.

One time we went to Burger King when I was younger and we sat down to eat. He took one bite of his burger, spit it out and immediately started bitching about it being under cooked. He cut in front of everyone in line to yell at the cashier, then he asked who was the cook. when the cook appeared, he launched his burger hitting the poor kid directly in the face with a lidless burger. He’s now banned for life from Burger King

7. Absolutely not, "BigDaddy0790."

My mom asked me to call her a taxi via an app.

She ended up calling me multiple times complaining about how the driver didn’t use the route she thought was best (she never owned a car and doesn’t know how to drive), even though the guy just used the best possible route the navigator suggested.

She ended up getting out halfway and using subway. The driver proceeded to call me in tears, completely shocked, unsure of what he did so wrong, and apologizing. I felt like total shit.

I never called her a cab again.

8 . WTF, "pootermun."

I might be late but my dad once asked the guy at the Verizon wireless store to give him his own Social Security number because he asked for my dads. My dad walked out afterwards with some strangers SS number on a post it. I was a silent bystander because I really wanted my first phone.

9. Damn, "johnlonger."

My father consistently returns food to grocery stores when he is unsatisfied with the quality. The worst is when he returns the 2lb bricks of cheddar cheese because they went moldy "before they should have"

10. This is probably the worst one, "sixstringhook."

Not me, but my sister in law. Her step dad and mom took the family out to eat at a Red Lobster. They get there and it is super busy. So the step dad walks up to the host and says "Yes, we have a reservation".

The problem is, Red Lobster (or at least that one) doesnt take reservations. The host explains this and says it is going to be 20 min wait for seating. Her step dad FLIPPED out and started screaming that he had called 3 hours before hand and made a reservation. The host politely told him this was not possible as they do not take reservations (again).

He continues to scream at the guy, and says he wants to talk to a manager. So the manager comes out and she tells him the same thing. They dont take reservations, so its not possible that he had made one. He continues to cause a scene and people started leaving just to get away from this toxic guy. Finally, the manager says, "Fine, we will put you ahead of everyone else that has been patiently waiting their turn". He says "Thank you". They get seated.

Once they get to the table and the waitress walks away, he slyly winks and says to my brother and the rest of the family "THAT is how you get things done. I wasnt going to wait 20 min".

My brother refused to eat or order for fear of getting food that had been spit on.

11. Wow, "RixxiRose."

My MIL is truly a Karen. Going out to eat with her is always a nightmare. Her orders have 14 special requests, but she's not at all kind about it, she is defensive from the get go like you're an idiot who's already screwed the order up. "Nooo dressing. Not on the side. Nothing. Completely dry. Do you understand? I will send it back!"

The one I will never forget though was dinner at Joe's Crab shack. In case you've never been it's one of those places that every so often plays a song that the entire staff is required to drop everything & do a little synchronized dance to. It's quick, everyone gets a little kick out of it, it's part of the fun.

Now my MIL Karen knew this, it's not like she'd never been here. But apparently she was not willing to wait 2 extra minutes for her dry salad, so she starts going off as soon as the dancing starts. She gets a manager, who clearly knows Karen well & offers a quick apology (for doing their job), a discount & her dry ass salad. But Karen's not completely satisfied. She tells us that even though dinner for our party of 8 is on her, she's not tipping the waitress 1 penny. She proceeds to bitch.....loudly...the rest of the meal & antagonize our waitress over petty shit.

I worked too many years in customer service & ya know, I'm a decent human being. I made sure to get my bill separate so I could tip for the entire table. I wrote a quick note on the receipt, something along the lines of "Way to stay positive even when the customer's a jerk".

I was a little afraid of the wrath of Karen, it was one of my first interactions with her too, but when the waitress came & hugged me, Karen & I locked eyes. She knew. I didn't care. Don't be a cunt Karen.

12. Gotta have A1, "Streaks-"

When I was 6 my mom took my brothers and I out to Golden Corral for dinner. She went up to the buffet, got a steak, and came back to the table. She’s an avid A1 steak sauce fan and cannot, i repeat, cannot eat steak without it.

She poured out the A1 onto her plate, tasted it, and was instantly horrified. She proceeded to pour out the Golden Corral Steak Sauce right next to the A1 and it matched perfectly.

Outraged, she called over a waitress and eventually the manager showing them her little experiment and how she exposed the Great Steak Sauce Fraud of 06.

My brothers and I were scarred for the rest of our lives. I still have nightmares about it.

13. This is so sad, "FuzzyElf47."

The number of cashiers my father demanded the manager fire because they were too slow, rang us up wrong, etc, including one they actually did. I'll never forget that girl taking her Home Depot apron off and walking away sobbing. To his credit (I guess?) my dad seemed surprised that it actually worked, must have felt at least some level of guilt and never did it again.

14. You're an angel, "Lurkist."

I don't like going to restaurants with her, she thinks that because she worked as a waitress for a year 35 years ago, it gives her the right to act like a complete asshole to them. She also thinks not tipping them will encourage them to "get their act together". Jokes on you mom, I always find our server after seated, give them a $20.00 and apologize in advanced for your poor behavior.

15. A+, "n8spear."

My mom used to run restaurants. My step father used to be a chef in high end restaurants and is the kind of guy who expects to be treated better than he is currently being treated, regardless of whatever that treatment is. They are not fun to go out to eat with.

The “most embarrassing experience” is actually their most embarrassing experience, one where I Embarrassed them.

My wife and I pride ourselves on being a “relief” table when we go out to eat. Both of us have been servers, and there’s always the counterpoint to the difficult table, that’s us. Barring horrible service or bad food, we are super easy customers, tip well, and try to have a good time with our server. Furthermore, we just treat people nicely. So you can imagine our distain when my parents act like they’re fucking royalty at a dinner service.

My wife and I went out to dinner with them. They were being particularly tough. My mom was acting like she was Gordon Ramsey analyzing the business, critiquing everything down to the amount of bubbles in her seltzer (“looks like it’s time to change the CO2”) My step dad was getting more and more heated over stupid things like the amount of ice in his drink and how the waitress didn’t top off his water, that he was barely sipping on, fast enough.

It came to a head when my step father ordered a steak medium well, it came back medium well, and for some reason he changed his mind that he wanted it medium rare while it was cooking and they didn’t read his mind, so he gave attitude, as did my mom. They jumped really quickly to demanding free stuff.

I’m an adult and this may be the first time they realized this. I interrupted in front of the server and said something like “really? This is what you’re doing. That’s what you ordered...” I turned to the server and said “We do not need anything comped.”

I then pulled out my wallet and handed her my card and said “this is for the bill. We’ll happily wrap up with what we have here. I’m very sorry for their behavior, you’re doing great.” Then the line that stung them so deep they still bring it up years later ...”I was taught to treat people nicely, a lesson that seems to be forgotten. Thank you.”

They turned red, the server walked away, I looked down and cut my steak, and didn’t say a word. They were so flabbergasted that the meal was virtually silent except me asking my step father how his steak was a few minutes later. I signed the check, gave a big tip, and we walked out and said goodbyes.

They’ve been nicer to servers each time that we’ve gone out since.

16. Damn, "s8erguyssk8er."

My mom has been this person regularly throughout my life but I do have one positive story with it.

She and I went to eat at portillo's when I was a teenager and we sat in the back of the restaurant where it was more private so we can eat in peace. About 10 minutes into our meal two people come into the empty area and sit down two tables away from us. Turns out it was a manager and an employee that was getting written up. the manager was being a complete asshat towards the employee criticizing and belittling them.

My mom put down her food and walked over and started yelling at the manager for being such an asshole. she went on a rant about how rude and wrong it was of him to do this in front of the public two tables away from customers and really let him have it. She demanded the phone number of the manager above him and we left after she received it. I was pretty embarrassed at the time but as I got older I realized that she was standing up for that employee and how wrong that manager really was. I'm not a hundred percent sure what she did with that phone number because I lived with my dad and I had to go home after that meal.

17. Aw, "WaulsTexLegion."

It was at a TGI Fridays in Katy, TX. This waiter was amazing. He was working 8 tables that I could count and was managing all of them flawlessly. Drinks never got below 1/3rd full at any table, he was always attentive and prompt, friendly, just a textbook example of the perfect waiter.

He impressed my dad so much that my dad asked if he could speak to a manager. Of course, the waiter immediately asks if anything is wrong, since that's the only time someone asks. My dad tells him no, it's to make sure that management knows what excellent service he's providing. The waiter thanks us and says he'll get a manager over as quickly as he can.

We wait for about 10 minutes before this middle-aged grease ball of a manager saunters over and starts asking my dad how the waiter screwed up. My dad is not the most patient of people, and we were kinda in a hurry to get home, so the 10 minute wait was rubbing him wrong.

But when the manager immediately acted like the guy was a screw up, my dad lost it. He told the manager that the waiter had done everything perfectly, and that's why he tipped the guy $15 on a $35 ticket. He also went on to say that the manager needed to be more respectful of his staff and gave the guy an ass chewing for presuming that the employee had screwed up. Before that moment, I thought that my sister and I were the only ones he would scream at when he was upset. It was somewhat embarrassing to see my dad yell at this guy, but he did it for a good reason.

This article was originally published by our partners at someecards and was written by Kimberly Dinaro.

Justice

Walking Alongside Martu: A journey with one of the world’s oldest living cultures

Pura’s inaugural impact collection honors both sacred traditions and sustainable futures.

James Roh
True

In a world driven by speed, efficiency, and immediate results, it’s easy to forget that lasting change is built on trust. Real impact doesn’t come from rushing toward an end goal or measuring success through lofty metrics. It comes from falling in love with the problem, building a community around it, and sharing a vision for lasting transformation.

Pura, the smart home fragrance company that marries premium fragrance with innovative technology, recently launched its inaugural impact collection with K Farmer Dutjahn Foundation (KFDF) and Dutjahn Sandalwood Oils (DSO). The Pura x Dutjahn partnership began with a clear purpose: to source a sacred ingredient directly from its origin while honoring the land and the people who’ve cared for it. Our goal wasn’t simply to find sandalwood — it was to find a community and an ingredient that embody exceptional land stewardship, ethical harvesting, and transformative, community-led impact. After careful research and over three years of development, we saw an opportunity to secure a premium, luxurious ingredient while supporting a regenerative supply chain that invests in Indigenous-led education, economic opportunity, and land stewardship.

James Roh

Over the past several years, we’ve walked alongside Martu, an Indigenous tribe from the vast Western Australian desert. Martu are one of the oldest living cultures in the world, with a history spanning 60,000 years. As nomadic hunter-gatherers, they have unparalleled ecological knowledge, passed down through generations, making them the traditional custodians of the land. Their approach to sandalwood harvesting isn’t driven by market demand but by a deep respect for seasonal rhythms, land health, and cultural law. Their work adapts to the environment—whether it’s “sorry time,” when mourning pauses activities, or the harsh desert conditions that make travel and communication difficult. Martu operate on Martu time, a deliberate rhythm shaped by millennia of experience, far removed from the rapid-swipe, hyper-productive pace of Western systems.

Martu’s ecological knowledge isn’t documented in baseline reports. It’s lived, carried in stories, and practiced with rigor and respect for the changing needs of the ecosystems. True partnership means unlearning the typical approach. It means standing beside—not in front—and recognizing that the wisdom and leadership we need already exist within these communities. Our role isn’t to define the work, but to support it, protect it, and learn from it.

James Roh

Tonight, as I spoke with Chairman Clinton Farmer and the KFDF team about our focus for this piece, I learned that Clinton’s truck had broken down (again), leaving him to “limp” back to town from the desert at low speeds for hours and hours. He had been awake since 3:00 a.m. This is a common and costly setback, one that disrupts the harvest, demands days of driving, and brings real financial and emotional strain. These barriers are relentless and persistent, part of the harsh reality Clinton and his community face daily. It's easy for outsiders, detached from the reality on the ground, to impose rules, regulations, and demands from afar. Rather than continuing to impose, we need to truly partner with communities — equipping them with the resources to operate sustainably, avoid burnout, and protect the very land they love and care for. All while they endeavor to share these incredible, sacred ingredients with the world and build an economic engine for their people.

There is much to learn, but we are here to listen, adapt, and stay the course. The future we need will not be built in quarterly cycles. It will be built in trust, over time, together.

To learn more about the partnership and fragrances, visit Pura x Dutjahn.

A map of the United States post land-ice melt.

Land ice: We got a lot of it. Considering the two largest ice sheets on earth — the one on Antarctica and the one on Greenland — extend more than 6 million square miles combined ... yeah, we're talkin' a lot of ice. But what if it was all just ... gone? Not like gone gone, but melted?

If all of earth's land ice melted, it would be nothing short of disastrous. And that's putting it lightly. This video by Business Insider Science (seen below) depicts exactly what our coastlines would look like if all the land ice melted. And spoiler alert: It isn't great. Lots of European cities like, Brussels and Venice, would be basically underwater.

I bring up the topic not just for funsies, of course, but because the maps are real possibilities.

How? Climate change.

As we continue to burn fossil fuels for energy and emit carbon into our atmosphere, the planet gets warmer and warmer. And that, ladies and gentlemen, means melted ice.

A study published this past September by researchers in the U.S., U.K., and Germany found that if we don't change our ways, there's definitely enough fossil fuel resources available for us to completely melt the Antarctic ice sheet.

Basically, the self-inflicted disaster you see above is certainly within the realm of possibility.


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In Africa and the Middle East? Dakar, Accra, Jeddah — gone.



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Millions of people in Asia, in cities like Mumbai, Beijing, and Tokyo, would be uprooted and have to move inland.



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South America would say goodbye to cities like Rio de Janeiro and Buenos Aires.


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And in the U.S., we'd watch places like Houston, San Francisco, and New York City — not to mention the entire state of Florida — slowly disappear into the sea.


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All GIFs via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

Business Insider based these visuals off National Geographic's estimation that sea levels will rise 216 feet (!) if all of earth's land ice melted into our oceans.

There's even a tool where you can take a detailed look at how your community could be affected by rising seas, for better or worse.

Although ... looking at these maps, it's hard to imagine "for better" is a likely outcome for many of us.

Much of America's most populated regions would be severely affected by rising sea levels, as you'll notice exploring the map, created by Alex Tingle using data provided by NASA.

Take, for instance, the West Coast. (Goodbye, San Fran!)



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Or the East Coast. (See ya, Philly!)


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And the Gulf Coast. (RIP, Bourbon Street!)

"This would not happen overnight, but the mind-boggling point is that our actions today are changing the face of planet Earth as we know it and will continue to do so for tens of thousands of years to come," said lead author of the study Ricarda Winkelmann, of the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research.

If we want to stop this from happening," she says, "we need to keep coal, gas, and oil in the ground."

The good news? Most of our coastlines are still intact! And they can stay that way, too — if we act now.

World leaders are finallystarting to treat climate change like the global crisis that it is — and you can help get the point across to them, too.

Check out Business Insider's video below:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com


This article originally appeared eleven years ago.

Internet

Nail-biting video shows a woman as she realizes a creepy man is following her

She was only halfway through her run when the man's behavior forced her to stop.

@lacie_kraatz/TikTok
Lacie films as the mysterious man visibly gets closer.

It’s no secret that even the most seemingly safe of public places can instantly turn dangerous for a woman. Is it fair? No. But is it common? Absolutely, to the point where more and more women are documenting moments of being stalked or harassed as a grim reminder to be aware of one’s surroundings.

One of the most common and frightening experiences many women can relate to is being followed by a strange man. It's scary because it's difficult to tell the difference between a random passerby who just happens to be walking in your direction and someone who has malicious intentions. At least, at first. But sadly, most women have learned how to pick up on the clues.

Lacie (@lacie_kraatz) is one of those women. On April 11th, she was out on a run when she noticed a man in front of her displaying suspicious behavior.


stalking, harassment, women, girls, men, danger, safetySadly, creeps don't need the cover of darkness to be creeps. Photo by ølı on Unsplash

Things got especially dicey when the man somehow got behind her. That’s when she pulled out her phone and started filming—partially to prove that it wasn’t just her imagination, and also out of fear for her safety.

“Hello. I’m just making this video so that women are a little more aware of them,” she begins in the video. “See this gentleman behind me? Yeah, this is what this video’s about.”

According to Lacie, the two were initially running in opposite directions. But at some point after seeing her, the man stopped in the middle of the trail and waited for her to pass so that he could follow her path from behind.

“Now, I know what you’re thinking—‘Why are you suspecting that he’s following you?'” Lacie continues. “Well, let me tell you. I was just walking like this, and I look up, and he’s in front of me, and he just keeps doing a ‘peek’ like this behind him, over and over again.”

Lacie added that at one point, she even made an illegal crossing when “do not walk” sign was still up in an attempt to put some distance between herself and the man. After looking over her shoulder, she noticed that the man was visibly “speeding” to keep up.

In case there is still any doubt, Lacie then begins to run to see if the man will follow suit. Sure enough, he does.

Luckily the man eventually seems to give up, though he still seems to be watching her from a distance. Lacie ends up safe back home, but she didn't even accomplish what she set out to do that afternoon.

“I couldn’t even finish my run,” she concludes. “I only ran like a mile and a half. I wanted to do 3 miles, but no—creepy men just had to be creepy f****** men today.”

Watch the harrowing encounter here:

@lacie_kraatz

#foryou #ladies #awareness

Countless women empathized with Lacie in the comments section. Clearly, this was not a unique circumstance.

“What I do when I’m being followed is act feral,” yet another person shared. “Like I’ll bark and growl really loud and flail my arms around. If you look crazy, you're doin' it right.”

Another added, “Man, nothing pisses me off more than men who make me feel uncomfortable doing things that I NEED to do for my health and well-being.”

Others tried to give their own tips for handling the situation, from finding nearby police or fire stations to using a variety of running trails to simply notifying the first visible passerby of what’s happening and asking to stand with them.

And of course, the resounding advice was to use the public space, and modern-day technology, to one’s advantage.

As one person wrote, “Girls we have got to normalize turning around and yelling at people following us. Let them know you know, take pictures of them, scream, make a scene."

Experts say the most important thing is to stay in a populated area as long as you're being followed. If you can pop into a store, do it. And always let a trusted friend or loved one know where you are. Giving a family member access to Find My Phone or a similar tracking app could be a lifesaver.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

It’d be nice if these kinds of unsettling interactions didn’t exist. But here we are.

Some estimates say around 75% of women have been followed by a stranger at some point in their lives; a shocking, tragic statistic. They're also around four times as likely to be continuously stalked compared to men. It's not fair that women and girls have to deal with this, and that they're forced to develop a keep instinct for when danger is present.

At the very least, it’s good that women are speaking up more so that these situations are easier to spot early on and women can know how to navigate them in the safest way possible.

And as for Lacie, she went on to join the US Coast Guard and regularly posts updates about her life in the military. Safe to say she has no problem taking care of herself these days.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

Health

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals

“I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself.”

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals.

TikTok's latest viral wisdom is backed by hard data—and it's making people rethink their communication habits. We live in a world of chronic oversharing. We post everything, from the routes we run (including screenshots as proof of all that hard work), to the pale-green iced matcha latte sitting at our desks or a present from a boyfriend (who will be tagged prominently, not secretly off screen). Who knows when, but our brains became wired for sharing: to record, to curate, and to post every second of our lives, then consume that of others to a disturbing degree. So, here's a radical idea: when it comes to goals and plans, try keeping them to yourself. It could be the key to making them a reality.

That's the message behind TikTok's massively popular "Move in Silence" trend, where creators like @noemoneyyy have cracked the contradictory code to success: Instead of broadcasting every big idea or project that runs through your head, if you actually want it to come to fruition, keep your plans to yourself until they're executed. And it's not just a trend; surprisingly, science also supports this muted approach.


"As a former oversharer who used to tell every single friend, every single family member, or a partner everything I was doing, I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself," explains creator @noemoneyyy in a video that's garnered millions of views.

On a different video by @mandanazarfhami, she says, “I don’t care what you’ve got going on in your life: that dream job, that city that you want to move to, that dream person, that dream life, that dream anything. Literally keep it to yourself until it’s done.”

Commentors were quick to agree, with one person writing: “From a young age, I never told anyone my next steps. I also taught my husband and son to keep our private matters to themselves and just do things 💯Not many people like it, but who cares🌝🙌🏼🫶🏼”

Another chimed in, “This concept has changed my life for the better.” Others replied, “100 agree 💕” and “100%🙌🏼people can’t ruin what is silent, show results.”


@mandanazarghami monitoring spirits are a real thing - move in silence and watch how much your life changes #fypシ ♬ Jacob and the Stone - Emile Mosseri


What's going on here

In a study done by New York University, researchers found that people who kept their goals private worked on tasks for an average of 45 minutes, compared to the 33 minutes of work completed by those who announced their plans in advance. The twist? The people who shared their goals expressed feeling closer to finishing, despite doing approximately 25% less work.

NYU psychologist Peter Gollwitzer, who led the research, concluded that "once you've told other people your intentions, it gives you a 'premature sense of completeness.'" He also found that the brain is made up of "identity symbols," which create one's self-image. Interestingly, both action and talking about action create symbols in your brain, so simply speaking about a future plan or something you want to do satisfies that part of your brain. When we make our goals public, especially ones that matter to us and deal with our identity, our ability to achieve said goal is significantly reduced. As the old adage goes, "actions speak louder than words."

Stranger still, in his paper "Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap," Gollwitzer notes that in order for this phenomenon to happen, one must truly care about their goals. "Ironically, this effect was only found for participants who are very committed to their goal!" PsychologyToday notes. "The lesson learned is that the more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be about them."

Quiet, silence, peace, shhh, no speaking, secret The more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be. Photo credit: Canva

Another reason to keep quiet: If you're a beginner trying something new, sharing your plans could potentially open you up to criticism and negative feedback, which could deter you from even starting. At the University of Chicago, professor Ayelet Fishbach conducted studies to determine how positive and negative feedback affects the pursuit of one's goal. According to Atlassian, she and her team found:

  • When positive feedback signals commitment to a goal, it increases motivation.
  • When positive feedback signals progress, it actually decreases motivation.
"One example the researchers give is a math student who gets a good grade on a test. If she perceives it to mean she likes math, she will study harder. If, however, she sees the high score as a sign she is making progress in the class, she may ease up and study less." - Atlassian


@_alliechen I used to be such an open book but now im a lot more reserved on my goals and plans so ppl dont judge #moveinsilence #relateablecontent #girlies #viral #success ♬ suara asli - astrooo🪐

We've all been there: excitedly telling everyone about your grand plans to backpack through Europe, the year you'll finally learn Spanish, or joining the group lesson at the tennis courts you always pass by… only to mysteriously lose all motivation a week later. Turns out, those lovely dopamine bursts that accompany every enthusiastic "That sounds great!" or "You should totally do it!" response might be precisely what's holding you back.

The good news? You don't need to become closed-off and secretive, a hermit on the top of a mountain who's afraid to share any part of themselves with the world. Research suggests that sharing your goals with one or two selected friends who can be trusted to provide meaningful support is still a good idea. Just hold off on the Instagram Live announcement until you've actually accomplished something substantial.

So, the next time you sit down to write your goals, whether they be a new year's resolution, the day's to-do list, or a five-year plan, think twice about sharing it with others. Give it time and you might have something better to share soon: the results.

Self-care is not what we've be taught one therapist explains

Self-care. It's something that has been co-opted by wellness influencers and gurus that somehow (and all-too-often) involves spending money on something luxurious. Self-care is often branded as things like pedicures, vacations, and hour-long massages at the spa, but according to Dr. Raquel Martin, we've been doing self-care all wrong.

In July 2024, Martin—a licensed psychologist—uploaded a video to her Instagram explaining what self-care is truly supposed to be. Spoiler alert? It's not meant to be indulgent. At least, indulgence shouldn't be an all-the-time expectation of self-care. Martin acknowledges that the wellness industry has monetized and conflated self-care with self-indulgence, and she explains that having self-care propped up as something that is indulgent isolates people who cannot afford those types of activities.

The psychological toll for conflating self-care with self-indulgence can get dangerously high. In the 2020 Psychology Today article, "Why Does Self-Care Sometimes Feel So Hard?", author and licensed psychologist Alicia H. Clark Psy.D notes that "indulgence stops being self-care when you feel guilty or unhappy with yourself, and this threshold is different for everyone." She goes on to say that "one person's self-caring indulgence can be another's gateway to self-harm, depending on your relationship with the activity, your capacity for moderation, and the reality of its consequences." This makes wellness influencers who tout a heavily indulgent, "treat yo' self" ideology of self-care all the more dangerous. Self-care is not one size fits all, and for those who struggle with self-discipline and moderation, the mindset can do more harm than good.

self-care, indulgence, moderation, treats, discipline Parks And Recreation Treat Yo Self GIFGiphy

So, what is self-care actually? How is it achieved? And is it always supposed to feel good? Dr. Martin goes on to share how she practices self-care, and what she lays out was surprising her viewers. According to Martin, "Self-care is not responding to every call and, if I do not have the bandwidth to have the conversation, stating that I don't have the bandwidth to have the conversation." She also notes that she says "No" to things she doesn't want to do, sets a financial budget, and does not drink caffeine after 4 p.m.

These things might seem a little boring when compared to indulgent self-care, but one thing is clear: these self-care practices are actually good for Martin's body, health, and overall wellness.

Much of what Martin listed are things a lot of people don't consider as self-care, but in actuality, self-care is defined simply by taking care of one's self. This means practicing self-care is getting in a few minutes of exercise a day, drinking more water, or spending time with friends. You don't have to spend money to care for yourself.

yoga, exercise, movement, body, health, self-careA woman practices Yoga.Image via Canva.

Commenters were shocked and thankful for Martin's clarification on what self-care is actually supposed to be:

"Love this list!! As a massage therapist, I have to call out the misconception that massage is indulgent. I'm always telling my patients that self care is more than a bath. I will be sharing this list with my patients. I'm also trying to make massage more accessible," one person writes.

"Thank you for this post. I’m internalizing your advice to see how I can apply. You resonated with my thoughts on so many levels. However, you also provided some clarity and food for thought/fuel for action," another says.

"I really appreciate what you said about pallet cleansers! Sometimes I get frustrated with myself because I'm not able to read and consume and learn about all the issues different people are facing. It's really important to me to learn about those things, not just for awareness, but also so I can do something about it. But self care is so important throughout that, like leaving my phone in the other room, or watching my comfort shows like you said. I often read kids books or TV because of how horrible the world is right now, and I need something extremely wholesome to balance it out. Also, workshop? I'm not sure what that means but I like learning from you. Thanks," another viewer shares.

So, maybe it's time to collectively ditch those indulgent expectations of self-care and really take a look at ways we can actually care for ourselves instead.

This article originally appeared last year.

They so clearly missed each other.

If you've ever spent a significant amount of time with twins, you know that no other relationship compares. My husband has twin brothers, and one of those brothers had twin daughters (busting the twins-skip-a-generation myth), so our family is quite familiar with the twin bond.

Over and over, we've watched with amusement as one adult twin will move across the country for one reason or another, with the other twin eventually, but inevitably, following them. Twins redefine the word "inseparable," which makes sense since they've literally been together since before they were even born.

Nowhere is that bond more apparent than in a video of twin babies at the end of their first day of separation ever.

In a TikTok video shared by @thattwinmama back in 2023, we see black-and-white footage from a baby monitor showing baby twin sisters standing in adjacent cribs.

"Our twins were separated for a day for the first time in their entire lives…" the video text reads. "That night we put them down leaving them alone for the first time in over 24 hours. And pretty sure it's safe to say they definitely missed each other."

Watch how the baby girls cuddle and love on one another with the sweetest tenderness.

The head kiss? The back pat? Come on. It doesn't get any cuter than that.

And in case you were wondering—that fierce love is still going strong, two years later…



@thattwinmama_ If looks could kill 😅 Honestly they both would ride or die for one another if I’m honest. #twins #twinmom #twinsisters #twinbond #twinsoftiktok #momlife #funnyvideos #funnytoddlers #fypシ #doechii ♬ Anxiety - Doechii


There truly is nothing like the bond between twins. There have even been documented cases of twins who were separated at birth and who ended up having the same traits and making similar life choices later in life. It's a relationship only twins themselves get to experience, but anyone who is a friend or family member of twins has to try to understand it if they truly want to know them because it's such a unique—and inseparable—part of their identity.

This article originally appeared two years ago.