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16 things you can do right now to advocate for women's rights and 4 you shouldn't.

Practicing intersectional feminism will make a more fair and just world for all.

So you’re a feminist? That's awesome!

Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images.

Feminism has been one of the most invaluable tools of resistance against fascism, racism, and bigotry. The advocacy work of feminism from decades before has led to voting rights for women, abortion rights, bodily autonomy, and more.


But at its inception, feminism wasn't as inclusive as it could be. The needs of minority women, women of different sexualities and gender identities, and women who were not of the middle and upper class weren't lifted up.

Erasure of the stories of different types of women — all deserving of equality — inspired the concept of intersectional feminism.

The idea behind intersectionality is that women’s overlapping identities — such as race, religion, class, and sexual orientation — affect the way they experience oppression in varying levels of intensity.  

Photo by Andrew Cabellero-Reynolds/AFP/Getty Images.

Women are multi-layered, complex beings with varied identities. We must advocate for all to be able to life live free of the structural and systemic injustices that prevail.  

If we limit feminism to white, cisgendered, upper-middle-class women, we continue a violent cycle of white, heterosexual patriarchy that has made the lives of many unnecessarily difficult.

While there are many ways to become more intersectional in your feminism, here are a few steps to get you started.

1. Do stop and listen.

Listen to black women. Listen to Muslim women. Listen to trans women. Listen to lesbian women. Listen to women who are domestic workers.  

All of these women and more experience racism, classism, homophobia, and structural injustice in various ways. This year has brought an enclave of racism, hate crimes, and problematic practices to the U.S. government and our communities. The people most susceptible to the consequences of this culture are marginalized women. They have the right to be sad, disheartened, and pretty darn mad. Listen to their anger, their ideas, and the problems that are a part of their identity.        

2. Do study intersectional feminist history.

Kimberlé Crenshaw's essay on the intersection of race and sex is a great place to start. Or stop by your local library and look into the works of feminists scholars like Bell Hooks and Audre Lorde.

3. Don't whitesplain.

Whitesplaining is to explain something through the lens of whiteness, often condescendingly. Instead,listen to the experiences, ideas, and perspectives of marginalized women to understand what a more equal world looks like to them. It may be uncomfortable or you may disagree, but don't be defensive. Understanding the stories of the women around you without bias is integral to creating a truly equal world.

Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images.

4. Do read books by intersectional feminists.

Audre Lorde’s "Sister Outsider," Bell Hooks’ "Ain’t I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism," and Roxane Gay’s "Bad Feminist" are just a few of the many books available by badass women to get you started on your journey to becoming an intersectional feminist.    

Reading the work of feminist also assists in financially supporting the work of women that, systemically, often make less than white women for their work.  

Roxane Gay is one of the most well-known feminist writers and scholars. Photo by Thos Robinson/Getty Images.

5. Do pop that filter bubble.

You can find many women on Twitter that offer their words of wisdom, read articles on websites you don’t usually frequent, and look up information on topics that are new to you to expand you knowledge.          

6. Don't ignore hate speech — call people out.

When you hear a friend, family member, colleague, or significant other making problematic statements, say something.  

You don’t need to hold an hourlong lecture or break off ties with one another, but directly explain why what they said was problematic and the bigger picture behind their words. We often think that people can’t change, but many times, hearing something from a loved one rather than a social media account goes a pretty long way.

7. Do check out art from marginalized communities.

Art reflects life. It remains one of the most important and timeless outlets for human expression during politically charged times. Go to art shows that are curated by minority and women artists or that feature the work of those artists. Listen to music that discusses the challenges facing our world, and support minorities and LGBTQ musicians, painters, actors, and programming.  

8. Do update your media diet by following journalists of color.

Joy Reid, Dylan Marron, Franchesca Ramsey, and Melissa Harris-Perry all have shows, platforms, or social media venues that showcase the experiences of various women and how to best become an ally.

9. Do donate and volunteer with organizations practicing intersectional feminism.  

Planned Parenthood has received a plethora of donations (many in the name of feminism "favorite" Mike Pence), but they aren’t the only organization fighting the good fight for women all over the country. Sistersong: Women of Color Reproductive Justice, a Southern-based organization that works to get reproductive justice and human rights to women of color and indigenous women; Central American Legal Assistance, a New York firm that provides "free or low-cost service to immigrant communities"; and the Trans Lifeline, a hotline service run by transgender people for the needs of trans people, are all organizations that are inherently intersectionality feminist and in need of funds to continue fighting for the marginalized.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

10. Do hire women of color, trans folks, and non-binary people.  

Whether you’re a hiring manager, a teacher, or a community worker, use your space to advocate for the disenfranchised. This could mean hiring minorities and queer people, protesting in marches that advocate for the rights of communities you aren't necessarily a part of, and spending your money at minority-owned businesses.

11. Don’t speak for groups you don’t identify with.  

Trans women can speak for themselves, Latina women can speak for themselves, cisgendered minority women can speak for themselves, and so can every other human. Instead of trying to explain their experiences to other people, let them explain their experiences themselves. They've got this.      

Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images.

12. Do remain politically active.

Keep track of how your representatives are voting by using apps like Countable and iCitizen to follow key issues that impact marginalized communities. Attend town hall meetings, call your congressmen, and be vocal when problematic policies are placed on the table.  

13. Do understand you'll make mistakes.

Sometimes, you may unknowingly say things that are problematic, myths, and outright wrong. Humans are flawed; it'll happen. But don't let that make you afraid to engage in dialogue out of fear of misspeaking. Instead, listen when someone corrects you, and work on being better and more understanding.    

14. Don't spend money with companies that back problematic politicians and policies.

Where you spend your money is a personal choice, but there are several popular companies known to either directly support politicians advocating for discriminatory policies or outright support discriminatory policies. Learn about the history of your favorite companies and the folks who are running it from the top, and use this information to make ethical and well-informed choices.

15. Do buy from companies that support organizations fighting the good fight.

A number of companies use proceeds from sales to support feminism, black people, and other marginalized groups. Support businesses owned by women, minorities, immigrants, and Muslims to financially counter anti-intersectionality.  

16. Do understand the lives of people with disabilities.    

Learn more about the struggles of people living with disabilities by visiting platforms like The Disability Visibility Project. DVP increases dialogue surrounding issues within the disabled community and leads readers to Twitter platforms and online spaces with key information about ways to help and be an ally.

It's also important to remain vigilant in watching what happens with the Affordable Care Act and how those living with disabilities could be affected by any changes to the law.  

17. Do fight for policies that benefit mental health programs.

Women are more likely to experience depression than men, and black women are experience major depression at higher rates than white women. With a rising percentage of hate crimes and uncertain policies ahead, it's imperative to support treatment and mental health programs for those affected most under oppressive policies.

18. Do know the news that affects trans and non-binary communities.

Know how bathroom laws, suicide rates, and poverty affect trans people. You can donate to organizations like The National Center for Transgender Equality, The Trevor Project, and The Human Rights Campaign to support trans kids, teens, and adults.    

Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

19. Do support immigrant women.    

Supporting immigrant communities can range from doing activities like fighting against repealing Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) to hosting immigrants neighbors for dinner. Continue speaking out against police brutality and unethical deportation practices, and make sure to call out hate speech against immigrants.

20. Do live out your activism.    

Resist. Resist racist and homophobic laws. Listen to — don’t argue with — people who tell you that you’re doing hurtful and problematic things. Use your privilege in ways that assist others of different backgrounds.

By living an intersectional life, we give women from all identities and backgrounds the chance to thrive and make the future a brighter place for all.

Parenting

Devastated dad shares why he didn't tell his 10-year-old daughter it was her birthday

“I don’t know if we made the right decision…It’s killing us.”

@kylephilippi/TikTok

“Today’s her birthday, and we’re pretending like it’s just another day."

Kid’s birthdays are both lovely moments of celebration, and potential sources of stress for any parent, for various reasons. For dad Kyle Philippi (whom we’ve previously covered for dressing up as Jafar to cure his friend of an irrational phobia), his daughter’s 10th birthday was particularly full of anguish—since he didn’t tell her it actually was her birthday.

In a video posted to his TikTok that amassed close to 3 million views, the concerned dad shared his unique plight that brought him to this unusual decision: his daughter’s birthday falls on Jan 2, over winter break, meaning most kids wouldn’t be able to attend her birthday party. Two years prior, the Philippi found this out the hard way, when they tried to throw a party on the day, and no one showed.

“She was devastated,” Philippi let out through a sigh.

Then last year, they tried a different approach. Instead of a big social gathering on Jan 2, they had a more intimate environment of just the family and one close friend, followed by a proper party once winter break was finished. At this point Philippi explained that his daughter is on the spectrum and had auditory processing disorder—so even though she had fun at both events, she still couldn’t understand why her friend couldn’t show up on her actual birthday, and was still disappointed. That’s never what any parent wants for their kid.

To make matters more sensitive, Philippi shared that his daughter was beginning to not be invited to other classmates' parties, and suspected that part of why she yearns to have a party with all her friends there was because “she knows she’s not getting to go to everyone else’s birthday.”

Hence why Philippi and his wife decided to try something new by simply not acknowledging the birthday until they can do a party with his daughter’s school friends. Understandably, though the choice was made with the best of intentions, when Jan 2 came, there were tons of conflicting feelings.

Photo credit: Canva

“I don’t know if we made the right decision. But here we are,” Philippi shared. “Today’s her birthday, and we’re pretending like it’s just another day…and it’s killing us.”

Down in the comments people—especially those with special needs kids, or were autistics themselves—were quick to reassure Philippi that he made a tough, but right call.

“As an autistic person who struggles with birthdays, you’re doing the right thing. it’s a little unconventional, but so are kids like us!! keep it up,” one person wrote.

Another added, “these ‘decisions’ are so hard but you are doing great by taking it all into consideration and trying to do what will help her feel great on her birthday.”

It seems the real thing worth noting here is that Philippi and his wife are trying to make their kid’s birthday the best it can be for her, and that’s truly admirable. Odds are nearly every parent can relate to this on some level. And for parents with neurodivergent kiddos, that can often mean navigating uncharted territory. Maybe they’ll try a different approach next year. Maybe not. What matters is they’re trying.

And from the looks of it, the actual birthday wasn’t a total wash. In a follow up video, we see that Philippi’s daughter got her favorite chicken wings for dinner, and got to plan her upcoming birthday…which will apparently be Raggedy Ann themed.

@kylephilippi Replying to @mamamcsorley1 She ate her favorite meal today and we continued to plan out her ultimate birthday party in 9 days 🙂 #birthday #parenting #parentingtips #autism #autismawareness #autismacceptance #auditoryprocessingdisorder #surprisebirthday #birthdayparty ♬ original sound - Kyle Philippi

Naturally, Philippi will be going as Raggedy Andy, per his daughter's request.

Joey Grundl, Milwaukee pizza guy.

Joey Grundl, who was working as a pizza delivery driver for a Domino's Pizza in Waldo, Wisconsin, was hailed as a hero for noticing a kidnapped woman's subtle cry for help. It's a timeless story that continues to resonate with people today.

Back in 2018, the delivery man was sent to a woman's house to deliver a pie when her ex-boyfriend, Dean Hoffman, opened the door. Grundl looked over his shoulder and saw a middle-aged woman with a black eye standing behind Hoffman. She appeared to be mouthing the words: "Call the police."

"I gave him his pizza and then I noticed behind him was his girlfriend," Grundl told WITI Milwaukee. "She pointed to a black eye that was quite visible. She mouthed the words, 'Call the police.'"

domestic abuse, celebrity, community, kidnapped

The Dean Hoffmann mugshot.

via WITI Milwaukee

When Grundl got back to his delivery car, he called the police. When the police arrived at the home, Hoffmann tried to block the door, but eventually let the police into the woman's home.

After seeing the battered woman, Hoffmann was arrested and she was taken to the hospital for her wounds.

Earlier in the day, Hoffman arrived at the house without her permission and tried to convince her to get back into a relationship with him. He then punched her in the face and hog tied her with a vacuum power cord.

"If you love me, you will let me go," she pleaded, but he reportedly replied, "You know I can't do that." He also threatened to shoot both of them with a .22 caliber firearm he kept in his car. The woman later told authorities that she feared for her life.

An alert pizza delivery driver helped save a woman from her abusive ex-boyfriend, police say. A 55-year-old Grafton man now faces several counts of domestic ...

A day later, Grundl was seen on TV wearing a hoodie from Taylor Swift's "Reputation Tour" and her fans quickly jumped into action, tagging Swift in photos of the hero. Grundl already had tickets to go to an upcoming Swift concert in Arlington, Wisconsin, but when Swift learned of the story, she arranged to meet Grundl backstage.

"She … she knew who I was," Grundl jokingly tweeted after the concert. "I'm thoroughly convinced Taylor gave me a cold."

"This has been one of the most exciting weeks of my life," Grundl said. "I'm legitimately getting emotional and I almost never get like this. But as the likely most memorable week of my entire life comes to an end … I guess I can really say … I'm doing better than I ever was."


This story originally appeared four years ago.

Joy

17 Gen X memes for the generation caught in the middle

Gen X is so forgotten that it's become something of a meme. Here are 17 memes that will resonate with just about anyone born between 1965 and 1980.

Boomers, Millennials, and Gen Z

"Generation X" got its name in the early '90s from an article turned book by Canadian writer Douglas Coupland. And ever since, they've been fighting or embracing labels like "slacker" and "cynic." That is, until Millennials came of age and all that "you kids today" energy from older generations started to get heaped on them. Slowly, Gen X found they were no longer being called slackers...they weren't even being mentioned at all. And that suits them just fine.

Here are 17 memes that will resonate with just about anyone born between 1965 and 1980.

Gen X basically invented "Whatever."

gen x memesSOURCE: TWITTER

Until recently, Generation X has been sitting back and watching as Millennials and Boomers eat at each other with an amused, non-confrontational attitude. But recently, Millennials and Gen Z became aware of their presence, and dubbed them "The Karen Generation."

They seem to be embracing the Karen thing.

SOURCE: X

While I'm pretty sure the "Karen" thing is not complimentary—as BuzzFeed puts it, it's meant to communicate someone who is "the middle-aged white mom who is always asking for the manager and wondering why kids are so obsessed with their identities,"—lots of people landed on a different Karen to represent the generation: the martini-guzzling, wise-cracking Karen Walker.

Get it right!

SOURCE: X

Well [expletive] me gently with a chainsaw, she's right. The 1980s cult classic starring Winona Ryder and Shannen Doherty really is the Mean Girls of the '80s and a much better term than Karen.

The disdain is mutual...

The Breakfast Club

SOURCE: X

Most of my Gen X friends have Gen Z kids and they are intergenerationally very chill with each other. However, Gen X is the generation most likely to have Boomer parents and younger millennial kids, and this meme seems to be resonating a bunch with Xers of a certain age.

A lot of Xers are enjoying the "OK boomer" squabble.

SOURCE: X

The media tends to ignore Generation X as a whole—as a few tweets coming up demonstrate—and that's nothing new. After all, they're used to it. They were latchkey kids whose parents both worked long hours, so they're used to being somewhat neglected.

"No one cares what we think anyway..."

via GIPHY

This GIF of Janeane Garofolo mocking her classmates at the high school reunion is basically a whole Gen X mood and definitely captures how a lot of this generation caught in the middle feels about the "OK boomer" wars.

A whole mood.

SOURCE: X

Gen X: "Look, don't pull us into this. You'll make me spill my beer."

Gen X: Get used to it.

SOURCE: X

Perhaps Gen X's blasé attitude to the generation wars has something to do with being called "Slackers" for a full decade.

Pass the popcorn.

SOURCE: X

Aside from this whole "Karen generation" blip, Gen X continues to be largely overlooked, and that fact—as well as their silent delight in it—is possibly one of the most Generation X things to happen.

Pay no attention to the man behind the venetian blinds.

SOURCE: X

Back in the '90s, Gen X bore the same kind of criticism Boomers tend to heap on Millennials and Gen Z now. It's not necessarily that they want to watch a cage match. It's just they're so relieved the heat is aimed elsewhere.

See?

SOURCE: TWITTER

Although this chart doesn't list the generation names, the approximate age ranges are all there...except for a big gap between the ages of 35 and 54 where apparently no humans were born? Poor Gen X (and some elder Millennials) apparently don't have political beliefs worth examining.

Don't you forget about me...

SOURCE: X

If Millennials are the "burnout generation," I guess Gen X is truly the invisible generation. I'm starting to feel inspired to write a science fiction novel where everyone born from 1965 to 1980 inhabits a totally different dimension.

There are perks to being invisible...

SOURCE: X

Being overlooked can be an advantage when you just want to sit in the corner and be immature.

Party on.

SOURCE: X

Before Brené Brown was telling us all how to dare greatly, Gen X got their inspirational advice from a different kind of Ted and his pal Bill, who taught us all how important it is to learn from history and be excellent to each other.

Too late and yet too early.

SOURCE: X

Romance—or getting lucky—was never easy for Generation X. They were the generation most impacted by the AIDS epidemic when it comes to anxiety about casual sex. Whereas Boomers had the free love of the late '60s, Gen X was about safe sex, which usually meant less sex. And even when having safe casual sex, singles in the '90s had to meet people the old-fashioned way or, if they did meet online, they felt shame over it. Now online dating is the norm.

When Gen X replaces the Boomers.

SOURCE: X

This is probably an optimistic view—because the truth is there are "Boomers" in every generation, and many of them tend to find their way into powerful positions. Let's call this a best case scenario, though.

The Nihilism Generation

SOURCE: X

There is no generation more over it than Gen X. They are ready for the apocalypse, but don't expect them to, like, help or anything!

Now we have Generation Alpha to contend with, so let's hope they're more chill about the generation wars than their predecessors. And as of 2025, an even newer generation is starting: Generation Beta. Hopefully, the fighting will have died down.


This article originally appeared five years ago.

Health

This woman's powerful 'before and after' photos crush myths about body positivity

"Body positivity is about saying that you are more than a body and your self-worth is not reliant on your beauty."

Michelle Elman, a body positivity coach, helps people who are struggling to find confidence in their own skin. After persevering through numerous medical conditions and surgeries in her own life, Elman realized a few years ago that body positivity wasn't just about size or weight.

Things like scars, birthmarks, and anything else that makes us feel different of self-conscious have to be a part of the conversation, and she tries to make the movement accessible to everyone. Sharing her own journey has been one of her most effective teaching tools.

In May, she shared a post on Instagram of herself trying on a dress she bought five years ago in order to prove a powerful point.

In the first photo, from 2012 — when she was a size 12, she says — she's wearing a size 14 dress. In the new photo, she's wearing the same dress, though she says she normally wears a size 20.

The dress still fit.

"NUMBERS DON'T MEAN ANYTHING," she wrote in the post. "So are you really going to let a change [in] dress size dictate your day? Are you really going to let an increase in a number affect your mood?"

"A higher dress size doesn't mean: — you are less beautiful — you are less worthy — you are less lovable — you are a worse human — you are a bad person — you are a different person AND it doesn't even mean you have a bigger body."

The viral photo inspired thousands of people. While a huge majority of the comments were positive, there was still something bugging Elman about the response.

Not everyone was getting the right message.

"Since the creation of this account, I have always been told I'm beautiful 'for my size' and I never wanted to talk about it because I thought I was being pedantic but eventually decided to speak my mind about it," she says in an email.

She decided to create a follow-up post to set a few things straight about what body positivity really means.

In the second post, she took a different approach to the "before and after" shots we see so often on Instagram. People loved it.

In the caption, Elman addresses a couple of things well-meaning people got wrong about the message she was trying to spread. Some commenters said she looked "skinnier" in the 2017 photo which, though meant as a compliment, just reinforces that being skinny is somehow better.

Others said she wasn't fat enough, to which Elman could only scoff.

"If people tell you they are a certain size, believe them," she wrote.

"People think that body positivity is about trying to convince people that bigger bodies are attractive, either physically or sexually," she says.

But that's totally missing the point of what her work is all about.

"If you are still relating your love for your body to society's perception of beauty," she says, "then you are still reliant on someone else's opinion. Body positivity is about saying that you are more than a body and your self-worth is not reliant on your beauty."

Her second post is currently sitting at over 26,500 likes on Instagram — a clear sign that this is a message many of us desperately needed to hear.


This article originally appeared seven years ago.



via @Sidneyraz / TikTok

TikTok has become a great place for finding life hacks and one of the best follows is @Sidneyraz. His hook is that he shows people the "things I wish I knew before I was in my 30s." Most of his life hacks are simple, domestic tricks for cleaning the house or preparing food. But he also shares some financial advice and makes the personal admission that "not being hungover is better than being drunk."

That's a lesson that a lot of us wish we learned sooner. Like a lot of folks, Sidney is learning a lot of domestic skills in his third decade and that makes sense. That's the time when people begin to settle down with a significant other and pick up more domestic skills.

The good news is that he's not going through this life change alone. He wants to share all of it with you.

Here are 11 of his best life hacks.

Baking bacon is better than frying:

@sidneyraz

baking bacon is better than frying bacon #inmy30s #bacon


How to eat a flat chicken wing:

@sidneyraz

learned this on hot ones #inmy30s #chickenwings


A tooth-brushing trick:

@sidneyraz

30+ years of being wrong #inmy30s #oralhealth


How to stop a pot from boiling over:

@sidneyraz

it has helped many times #inmy30s #cookingtips


You can vacuum more than just your floor:

@sidneyraz

vacuuming more than just floors #inmy30s #vaccum


Did you know your dishwasher has a filter?

@sidneyraz

cleaning the dishes robot is a thing #inmy30s #dishwasher


The weatherman isn't saying what you think he's saying:

@sidneyraz

but what is the forecasted area?? #weatherreport #inmy30s


How to fill a cooler:

@sidneyraz

have a great summer y’all #inmy30s #summervibes2021


The secret behind Chinese food containers:

@sidneyraz

first time trying this #chinesefood #takeout #tipsandtricks


Hire movers:

@sidneyraz

your body will thank you #inmy30s #movingday


Not being hungover is better than being drunk:

@sidneyraz

goodbye youth. #inmy30s


This article originally appeared four years ago.