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Five Gen X values from the ’90s that can save today’s world

We're bringing "whatever" back.

1990s, gen x, '90s values

A mix tape from 1992.

A few weeks ago I came across an article about a kid who watches television at 1.5x speed so he can cram as much viewing in as he can. It seemed that his unquenchable desire to get through shows in the Golden Age of television meant he’d sacrifice the entertainment value of the show just to get to the end.

“Man, this guy would have been crucified in 1993,” I thought.

As a 45-year-old card-carrying member of Generation X (those born between 1965 and 1979), I remembered a time when nobody bragged about the amount of TV they watched. In fact, they bragged about not owning a TV. “I don't watch TV, man,” people would say. “It only exists to sell you stuff.”

This complete reversal on the social acceptance of gluttonous TV viewing made me wonder what happened to the values we were raised on as Gen Xers? We were taught that sincerity was for simpletons, everything corporate is evil, old school is always better than the latest and greatest, authenticity is king, conformity is death and there is nothing worse than being a sell-out or a poser.


Nobody would have ever referred to themselves as an “influencer” in 1991—that’s the definition of a sell-out.

“After writing this book, I’m back in the mindset of ’90s thinking, which is that nothing is worse than selling out,” Chuck Klosterman, author of “The Nineties: A Book,” told Esquire. “Nothing was more embarrassing in the ’90s than trying to convince people to like the thing you made."

Deep inside the heart of almost every Gen Xer is a deep-seated feeling of nihilism. We didn’t trust the corporations that laid off our parents or gutted their pensions in the ’80s. In fact, everything corporate was predatory. We didn’t have a lot of faith in family values because we were the first generation raised by single parents or in daycare. We didn’t care much about politics either. Back in the ’90s, Gen X’s aversion to politics was historic.

Of course, these are all generalities about a generation of nearly about 65 million people, but studies show that there are some definite hallmarks of being a Gen Xer.


According to a generational differences document circulated through the business community, Gen X’s core values are “skepticism,” “fun” and “informality.” They’re described as “self-reliant,” “independent,” “unimpressed with authority” and motivated by “freedom.”

In the young Gen Xer, the culture of the era “instilled a wariness and skepticism, and a kind of ‘figure it out for yourself’ mindset,” Paul Taylor, author of “The Next America: Boomers, Millennials, and the Looming Generational Showdown” told The Washington Post. And with that came a sense “that you don’t have to shine a light on yourself. You’re not the center of the universe.”

But things have changed since the ’90s when Gen X was coming of age. We live in an American culture that is fractured by political partisanship, fueled by a constant culture of outrage, crippled by a preoccupation with technology, plundered by greedy boomers and annoyed by overly sensitive millennials. All of this is happening while we face the greatest challenge of our times, climate change.

The answer to all of these problems is simple: admit that Gen X at one point had it right and if we followed its lead, we could reverse these terrible trends. OK, it might not fix all of our woes, but the way things are going now surely aren’t working. Plus, weren’t the ’90s great?

Also, with hat in hand, I must admit that this message is for Gen Xers as well. Many of us have lost our way by forgetting our disdain for authority and skepticism toward institutions. This is a call for us to remember what we once stood for and to fight back by doing what we do best—staying above the fray.

Gen X, it’s time to strap on your Dr. Martens boots and get back to fighting the “Battle of Who Could Care Less.” It’s time we collectively got our “whatever” back and showed the other generations how powerful dismissiveness can be.

Here are the top five Gen X values that we need to embrace again.

5.  Buying vintage items

Nothing was less hip in the early ’90s than wearing mall clothes. If you had any style you shopped at a thrift store and bought used duds from the ’70s and early ’80s and remixed them into something awesome. If you were into hip-hop or skating you shopped at the surplus store and rocked some super-durable Dickies or Carhartt gear. The mood of the times was totally anti-fashion. These days, we live in a world where fast fashion is killing the environment. By embracing the Gen X value of old-school cool, we can help the planet while looking much more fashionable in the process.

4. Corporate skepticism

In the early 2000s, people fell head-over-heels in love with smartphone technology and social media so quickly that nobody stopped and said, “Hey, wait a minute!” Now, we have a world where kids are depressed, the culture has become divided and nobody talks to each other in public anymore, they just stare at their phones. I can totally understand why young millennials and Luddite boomers would fall for the big-tech ruse, but sadly, Gen X was asleep at the wheel and fell victim, too. The generation that embraced the notion that TV rotted your brain needs to remind everyone to go outside and play in the sunshine or read a book. And if you read a book it should be by Bret Easton Ellis.

3. Just say “whatever”

Two of the most popular Gen X phrases were “whatever” and “talk to the hand (because the face don’t give a damn).” These may seem to be flippant responses but they are the correct way to deal with other people’s nonsense and in 2022, we have to deal with a constant barrage of it.

Somewhere along the way, people forgot that it’s even more powerful to ignore someone than to admit they got under your skin. In the world of social media, we unintentionally amplify the most wretched voices by subtweeting, commenting and liking the posts from the army of grifters fighting for our attention.

We also live in an era where many seem to be addicted to outrage. The quickest way to stop fanning the flames of outrage is with a simple, “whatever.” Like dogs distracted by squirrels, we’ve got our heads on outrage swivels these days. Throwing around the occasional “whatever” gives us the time and energy to focus on the problems that really matter and take action.

These days “whatever” matters more than ever.

2. Bring back snobbery

Good taste used to matter. In the 2000s, millennials decided that people have the right to like what they like and that it’s worse to judge someone’s personal taste than to have bad taste. Gen Xers based their entire personalities on taste and demanded integrity from artists and were rewarded by living in a time of superior films and music. These days, no one listens to new music and we’re stuck in a world dominated by comic book movies because no one stood up and shamed people for liking low-effort culture.

1. ​Political apathy

America’s political divide has calcified over the past decade because more and more people are basing their personal identities on their politics. This has created a culture where the dialog between liberals and conservatives has become a shouting match that only makes people dig their heels in further. It’s also created a culture in Washington, D.C. that has attracted a more debased form of politician and led to the gridlock that has halted any sense of progress. Sadly, Gen X has also been sucked into this vortex.

Things were a lot different in the ’90s. Back in 1999, Ted Halstead at The Atlantic noted that Xers “appear to have enshrined political apathy as a way of life.” He added that Gen Xers “exhibit less social trust or confidence in government, have a weaker allegiance to their country or to either political party.”

Compared to what’s going on in America in 2022, this type of apathy seems welcome. Back in the ’90s, taking a “chill pill” could solve everything. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone took one, and then we could open our ears and hearts and have some constructive discussions?

There was a common lament in the 1980s that the boomer hippies had sold out and became boomer yuppies. They went from being concerned with peace, love and the planet to stocks, bonds and conspicuous consumption. Gen X is now in its 40s and 50s and it’s fair to say that we've moved from being the outsiders to creating technological and political machines that are generating the type of conformity that we once railed against.

Now that Xers are at the age where we get to run the world for a few decades, it’s time to recommit to the core values that make us well … us. The great news is that as Gen Xers, it’ll be easy to get back to our roots because we were raised to ironically love the past.


This article originally appeared on 03.10.22

From Your Site Articles
ideas, homelessness, prodigy, social work, solutions
Photo credit: @ribalzebian on Instagram

Ribal Zebian is going to test a house he designed by living in it for a year.

Ribal Zebian, a student from the city of London in Ontario, Canada, already made headlines last year when he built an electric car out of wood and earned a $120,000 scholarship from it. Now, he's in the news again for something a little different. Concerned with homelessness in his hometown, Zebian got to work creating a different kind of affordable housing made from fiberglass material. In fact, he’s so confident in his idea that the 18-year-old plans on living in it for a year to test it out himself.

Currently an engineering student at Western University, Zebian was concerned by both the rising population of the unhoused in his community and the rising cost of housing overall. With that in mind, he conjured up a blueprint for a modular home that would help address both problems.


Zebian’s version of a modular home would be made of fiberglass panels and thermoplastic polyethylene terephthalate (PET) foam. He chose those materials because he believes they can make a sturdy dwelling in a short amount of time—specifically in just a single day.

“With fiberglass you can make extravagant molds, and you can replicate those,” Zebian told CTV News. “It can be duplicated. And for our roofing system, we’re not using the traditional truss method. We’re using actually an insulated core PET foam that supports the structure and structural integrity of the roof.”

Zebian also believes these homes don’t have to be purely utilitarian—they can also offer attractive design and customizable features to make them personal and appealing.

“Essentially, what I’m trying to do is bring a home to the public that could be built in one day, is affordable, and still carries some architecturally striking features,” he said to the London Free Press. “We don’t want to be bringing a house to Canadians that is just boxy and that not much thought was put into it.”

Beginning in May 2026, Zebian is putting his modular home prototype to the test by living inside of a unit for a full year with the hope of working out any and all kinks before approaching manufacturers.

“We want to see if we can make it through all four seasons- summer, winter, spring, and fall,” said Zebian. “But that’s not the only thing. When you live in something that long and use it, you can notice every single mistake and error, and you can optimize for the best experience.”

While Zebian knows that his modular homes aren't a long-term solution to either the homeless or housing crisis, he believes they could provide an inexpensive option to help people get the shelter they need until certain policies are reformed so the unhoused can find affordable permanent dwellings.

@hard.knock.gospel

What to buy for the homeless at the grocery store. 🛒 Most people get it wrong. After being there myself, these are the survival items that actually matter 💯 The 2nd to last one is about more than survival—it’s about DIGNITY. We are all one circumstance away from the same shoes 🙏 SAVE this for your next grocery run. 📌 IG@hardknockgospel Substack@ Outsiders_Anonymous #homelessness #helpingothers #kindness #payitforward #learnontiktok

Zebian’s proposal and experiment definitely inspires others to try to help, too. If you wish to lend a hand to the unhoused community in your area in the United States, but don’t know where to look, you can find a homeless shelter or charity near you through here. Whether it’s through volunteering or through a donation, you can help make a difference.

Joy

People from around the globe share 15 signs that someone is obviously an American

"An Italian told me that Americans walk confidently in the wrong direction."

tourists, american tourists, us tourists, vacation, american style

Americans on vacation.

One of the fun things about traveling to different countries is that you not only get to learn about other cultures, but you also learn some things about your own. Americans who travel abroad often learn that people around the world appreciate them for being open, friendly, and good at spreading hope and optimism.

On the other hand, people in other countries can often tell when an American is coming from a mile away because they speak loudly, whether indoors or outdoors. Americans also have a very peculiar body language and are known to lean on things when they have to stand for an extended period.



A Reddit user posed a question in the AskReddit subforum to learn more about how Americans stand out abroad: What's an "obvious" sign that someone is American? The post received more than 35,000 responses, with an overwhelming number of commenters noting that Americans are all smiles and love to make small talk, something most people appreciate.

According to Redditors, here are 15 "obvious" signs that someone is American:

1. They have a unique confidence

"An Italian told me that Americans walk confidently in the wrong direction."

"Been taught to walk fast, and look worried.. People think you know what you're doing."

2. They're friendly

"I worked as a cashier in a tourist place in Paris, I always recognised Americans because they were kinda friendly to me and they always left tips."

"I guess there are worse things than friendly and generous."


3. Time = distance

"If someone asks how far away something is, an American will tell how you long it takes to get there as opposed to a physical distance."

"It actually pisses off some Americans to give a distance in miles, unless they're calculating gas mileage. In some places, you have to give with and without traffic options. I think it's more valuable info in time than in distance."

4. Grinning at strangers

"The gentle grins you give to strangers if you make eye contact with them as you pass by, at least in the Midwest. was not well received in Germany."

"I dated a European man here in the US. When we walked together, every time I made eye contact with someone on our path I would smile at them, and they would always smile back. Boyfriend was so confused at all these strangers smiling at me. Kept asking if I knew all these people. It was hilarious."


5. They like personal space

"How much personal space they give themselves. Americans like at LEAST an arm's length."

"We're conditioned to fill spaces evenly. I noticed when i worked delivery, spending lots of quality time on elevators that for every new person that enters, everybody shuffles to even things out. Similar thing plays out in social gatherings and bars. Not sure if that's universal or not, but I find it interesting. I think the size of our personal bubbles is because our spaces are generally much larger because we've got the space (heh) to build bigger buildings, sidewalks, roads etc. Might also explain why we're louder. Used to filling larger spaces with volume."

Body language expert Joe Navarro says that among Americans, the social zone for acquaintances and casual interactions is four to 12 feet, while family and close friends stand 1.5 to four feet apart. The intimate zone, for those closest to us, ranges from the skin to about 18 inches.


6. They lean

"According to the CIA, when training to be a spy, you have to unlearn how to lean. Americans tend to lean on things when standing still."

All of this is true, according to Jonna Mendez, the former chief of disguise at the CIA, who has shared some of her tips and tricks for making Americans seem more European. "So we would de-Americanize you," Mendez told NPR. "They think that we are slouchy, a little sloppy. And they think that they can almost see that in our demeanor on the street because they stand up straight. They don't lean on things."


7. They don't have an indoor voice

"I've lived in America for 25 years, and it still irritates me that instead of lowering their voices in restaurants so everyone can hear, Americans just scream over each other and make their restaurants as loud as clubs."

"For some reason, my otherwise smart and wonderful American friends will speak in the same volume, diction, and speed regardless of any outside factor unless specifically asked."

8. Dessert for breakfast

"In my homestay in London, I was told that I was 'so American' for enjoying a piece of cake for breakfast (not frosted cake, but like a nuts and dried fruit spiced coffeecake kind of thing). Apparently, that's exclusively for like a 4 pm snack, and breakfast is more of a savory meal."

"A lot of American breakfast items in my mind are desserts (pancakes, muffins, waffles, etc.). It doesn't mean I won't eat them, but it's kinda weird to do so."

9. They wear their clothes differently

"A British man once told me he knew I was American because I was wearing a baseball cap backwards."

"An Italian told me they could tell I was American because I wore my sunglasses on the top of my head when I wasn't using them."


10. Exposed soles

"While visiting Turkey, I was told that I looked American because I was sitting with one leg across the other, and the bottom of my shoe was exposed. Apparently, it's rude idk."

"In a lot of places outside of the US, showing the bottom of your shoe is rude."

11. Tactical gear

"Tactical sunglasses."

"I'm in the US, and virtually anything marketed towards men has the word 'tactical' in front of it."

12. They love small talk

"I'm from California (though a smallish town), and we wave to neighbors on our road, even if we haven't met, and start conversations in the grocery line with people if the opportunity presents itself. Also, smiling and saying hello to someone you happen to walk by and make eye contact with is quite normal. We are a social species, it would be so weird not to be friendly, even to strangers, for me, and I'm not even that social of a person."

"What really gets me to it is not that Americans do small talk constantly, but the fact that they are so good and fast at it. I mean, I say 'yeah, it's hot,' and they reply with some interesting fact or make a connection to their hometown. I feel less of myself after this. They must have some small talk class in school or some sh*t."

13. They like to point

"I've always observed my US friends like to point at stuff while walking and say what it is…. We were out walking around Amsterdam recently and they were like 'hey look it's a smoke shop'…. 'Oh look a sex shop'…. 'Oh hey, it's a prostitute' …. 'Look at the canal'…. 'Wow it's another prostitute'….. 'another canal' etc etc. It was like watching Netflix with Audio Descriptions turned on."

"You know that little voice inside your head, your internal monologue? Americans seem to monologue their thoughts."


14. Optimism and enthusiasm

"Dunno in all context, but Americans in Europe stand out with their ceaseless optimism and enthusiasm."

"I'm reminded a lot of Ted Lasso. Everyone I know (all Americans) loves the show. I wonder what kind of European fan base it has."

"Americans are so positive and have such a thirst for life. It sickens me."

15. They eat while walking

"When I lived in Europe, people said only Americans eat while walking. I'd be eating a bagel or something on the way to work or class, and multiple people asked if I was American lol."

"Jay Leno said on Top Gear, I think it was, that Americans are also the only people who eat while driving. I don't do this, but I constantly see people who do, haha, especially in LA, where people spend a lot of time in their cars."

party, chatting, likable, drinks small talk, men and women

A woman speaking with two men at a party.

When we think of someone likable, we often imagine a person with a big personality who's the life of the party. We conjure up images of social butterflies and people who keep everyone at the dinner party glued to their every word when they tell a story. The funny thing is, according to research, that's not really the case.

Studies show that the easiest way to make someone like you is to show interest by asking questions during the conversation and making it clear that you like them. People also really love those who come off as genuine.


Michael Gendler, a co-founder of Ultraspeaking, a platform that helps people master the art of public speaking, recently shared three "magic" phrases that make you more likable, all of which align with what science tells us.

Three phrases that make you more likable

Phrase 1: "Here's what really scares me..."

This phrase resonates with people because it shows you're genuine by admitting your vulnerability. "Man, talk about your feats, real fears, not like 'Oh, I'm scared I'm going to be too successful.' Tell us about something that actually scares you. Don't be guarded. Be open, and other people will appreciate that," Gendler says.

Phrase 2: "You know what I really like about you?"

This phrase makes people like you because it counters a psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias, which suggests we tend to overestimate how clearly we express our feelings to others. This means that, many times, when we think others know we like them, they may not be so sure. So a little assurance goes a long way toward showing them the feeling is mutual. "People love being complimented as long as it is genuine," Gendler says.


Phrase 3: "Tell me more"

As Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Make Friends and Influence People, the key to interacting with others is focusing on being interested in them rather than trying to impress them by being interesting. "Be interested, not interesting," Carnegie writes.

A Harvard study supports this, showing that when you first start speaking with someone, you should follow your first question with two more. People who do this are rated as much more likable than those who, after one question, shift the conversation to themselves. "People love feeling like what they're saying is interesting. So invite them to speak more," Gendler continues.


Don't forget to be genuine

Ultraspeaking's post is a breath of fresh air for those who aren't comfortable trying to impress others at parties, on dates, or in the office. The video shows that if you make people feel important, they're much more likely to like you in return. The key is that it has to come from the heart.

"Remember, don't just use these phrases and expect them to work," Gendler says. "They have to be genuine and open. That's what makes people likable."

1970s, '70s, generations, food, meals

Kids in the 1970s pretending to cook

"What's for dinner?" has been asked by kids for millennia, probably, and the most common answers depend on both where and at what time in history it was asked. In ancient times, people were limited to what they could hunt or gather. Medieval recipes look different than what people ate in the 19th century. And what our grandparents ate when they were children was different from what our kids eat today.

Obviously, people couldn't DoorDash Chipotle in the '70s, but when someone on Reddit asked people born before 1970 what they ate for dinner most weeks, there were some standard meals a lot of Americans clearly ate regularly growing up. Lots of meatloaf and beef stroganoff. Pork chops and chop suey. Convenient assistance from Shake n' Bake, Hamburger Helper and TV dinners. Canned fruits and veggies. So much Jell-O.


Here are some of the most popular responses:

"Overcooked pork chop, minute rice, canned green beans, canned fruit cocktail

Spaghetti with ground beef and sauce made from a packet (Durkee?)

Pot roast (whatever cut of meat was on sale) cooked with Lipton onion soup mix. Frozen peas. Canned peaches.

Meatloaf with mashed potatoes and canned green beans. Canned pears

Shake n bake chicken and scalloped potatoes from a box. Canned fruit of some kind.

On awesome days Chef Boyardee pizza mix from a box.

I liked LaChoy chop suey.

Always with a jug of milk on the table."

1970s, '70s, generations, meals, meatloaf Meatloaf was a staple dinner.Photo credit: Canva

"So I think many of our moms went to the same home ec classes. Our house also had on rotation:

Goulash: It wasn’t what I have come to understand is Hungarian Goulash, but ground beef/spices/tomatoes.

Chicken Diane: Way overcooked chicken with rosemary, thyme and other seasonings.

Meatloaf: Yes, ketchup on top.

And the ever-present rice. Dad bought an aluminum rice cooker from his time in Japan and we had rice (he added soy sauce on top) 3x per week. The other side was baked potatoes.

The big treat!!!??? Chef Boy Ar Dee pizza from a tube on Friday once per month. Mom had a round aluminum baking pan and make dough, spread the included sauce on the dough, add the Parmesan Cheese (in the included packet). That was the biggest treat - and in all honesty I would go back to that day cause I miss my mom. Best pizza ever."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Hamburger patty or braised round steak, green salad, canned vegetable (peas, beans, corn, beets). Occasionally a baked potato. Sometimes my mom would toss chicken in a flour/seasoning mix and bake it and we'd have oven fried chicken--maybe once every couple of weeks. We got beef from a cousin so it was cheap, and chicken was expensive.

Mom also made spaghetti with ground beef, and beef stew with the tougher cuts of the cow. Oh--and liver--God how I hated liver night.

We always had cheap grocery store 'ice milk' in the freezer for dessert."

1970s, '70s, generations, food, meals, spaghetti Spaghetti is still a classic.Photo credit: Canva

"Sunday - Spaghetti/macaroni and homemade spaghetti sauce and a salad.

Monday - Roast chicken, a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.

Tuesday - Pork chops, a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.

Wednesday - Spaghetti/macaroni and homemade spaghetti sauce and a salad.

Thursday - Rump or sirloin steak, a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.

Friday - breaded and fried fish (ugh--haddock, halibut, or cod if the latter was on sale), a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.

Saturday - Rump or sirloin steak, a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.

Dessert would be supermarket ice cream (carton, usually Neopolitan), Jello chocolate pudding, Table Talk pie (usually apple)."

1970s, '70s, generations, food, meals, pork chops Why were pork chops so popular?Photo credit: Canva

"Typical meals: stroganoff made with ground beef and egg noodles. Pot roast. Swiss steak. Chicken cacciatore. Fried chicken. This was in California, but my parents were from the Midwest so pretty meat-and-potatoes. There was always a side vegetable and a starch. Rarely bread or rolls. Occasionally salad but not always until the 1980s. No formal/planned dessert except for special occasions like birthdays and holidays, but sometimes there was ice cream in the freezer or there were cookies (store bought; my mom wasn't a baker). In the late 70s my mom loved Julia Child and started to be more adventurous with cooking; later she took Asian cooking classes too."

"Beef stroganoff, fried bologna, weiners wrapped in bacon and then broiled, baked beans, (from scratch) liver.

Jello 1-2-3 (so space age!) Bundt cake, canned fruit salad, canned pears, canned peaches."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When we had some money (early in the pay period):

Spaghetti with sausages and homemade sauce

Liver and onions

Chop suey

Spare ribs and sauerkraut

Pork chops with mashed potatoes and gravy

Beef stew

Boeuf bourguignon

Beef stroganoff

When we were short on money:

Spam & scrambled eggs

Homemade macaroni & cheese

Cold cereal

That’s all I can think of right now.

We very rarely ever had dessert and almost never ate out. We never had fast food, the only fast food chain in town was Burger King, and McDonald’s was a town away and only open about six months of the year."

Here's to all the meals that nourished us in every era of our lives.

men; dental care; weaponized incompetence; wife; marriage; men's healthcare

Dentist has hilarious solution for husbands who show up for appointments without knowing why

Watch any sitcom involving a family, and you'll see some stereotype of a seemingly clueless man with his exasperated wife. In reality, there are plenty of men who are perfectly capable of handling their own affairs and being equal partners. But there are some guys still bopping around like the lovable oaf sitcom archetype, and Dr. Brady Smith has had enough of his fellow men.

Smith is a dentist who shares content on social media. In one of his most recent videos, he expresses frustration with the men who come into his office. In the tongue-in-cheek video, the dentist is in his office explaining that sometimes when men come to their dental appointments, they have no idea why they're there. Smith jokingly decides that the men who arrive confused will be forced to play a dental procedure game.


men; dental care; weaponized incompetence; wife; marriage; men's healthcare Dental checkup for a healthy smile.Photo credit: Canva

"Men will come to their dental visits sometimes without knowing why they're there, and as a dentist, that's odd to come face-to-face with when I walk into the room. When I say, 'looks like you're here for a check-up and a cleaning,' and they say, 'I don't know, I didn't schedule the appointment.' That does not happen with women," Smith says before eventually revealing his solution.

Smith says that he's been a dentist for 16 years and has never experienced a woman walking into his office without knowing what services she's there to receive. He explains that the frequency with which men come into his office confused about why they're there is very often, but they don't seem to be embarrassed about it. The dentist then encourages the men to ask their wives what the appointment is for when they inform them that they've scheduled them a dental appointment.

men; dental care; weaponized incompetence; wife; marriage; men's healthcare Dentist at work ensuring a bright, healthy smile.Photo credit: Canva

"If one more guy says, 'I don't know what I'm doing here, and my wife scheduled the appointment,' I'm gonna create a wheel of services, and I'm just gonna spin the wheel. It's gonna have root canal, full dentures, sinus lift, teeth whitening, night guard, F around with a laser, whatever. And we're gonna spin that wheel, and whatever it lands on, that's what you're getting, and I'll call your wife, and I'll say, 'Listen, Kevin didn't know why he was here, so we spun the wheel, and it landed on full dentures. So get an ice pack and pick up his meds at the pharmacy, please," Smith says while staring directly into the camera.

It seems that Smith is not the only medical professional experiencing this phenomenon. There may be a "spin-the-wheel to find out what kind of services you're having" game installed in offices across America, as one doctor shares, "Can confirm this phenomenon happens at the dermatologist as well."

Another physician writes in part, "As a physician, I’d say about 85% of my male patients don’t know how to answer their own medical history and medication list. As soon as I ask my first question, 'Do you have any allergies?' They look over to their wife, completely clueless, and she proceeds to answer the rest of the questions in detail," before revealing that she's often shocked when male patients know all of their own information.

But don't worry; it's not all men. Quite a few wives share that they don't experience these issues because their husbands schedule their own appointments. Others added random suggestions to put on the wheel, like a full set of braces and a colonoscopy. But tucked between the jokes and fellow doctors sharing their own experience with this issue are people calling out the behavior as weaponized incompetence. They explained that it is behaviors like this that cause women to feel like they're doing the heavy lifting in their relationship, resulting in burnout.

"Excuse me while I scream. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGH," one woman writes.