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What I want all parents to know about delivering premature babies.

Something just didn’t feel right. My stomach churned, and the nausea set in as I realized the unimaginable: I was going into labor.

Nurses rushed to my hospital room as a flurry of chaos surrounded me. I tried to stay calm, but as I looked at my husband, the tears and sobs set in.

I glanced over at the wall where nurses had made a chain link, counting down the days to viability. Two little links left on the wall. Those two days would get me to 23 weeks, our goal for my failing body. But, we didn’t make it. At 22 weeks 5 days, I went into labor with our triplets.

Image courtesy of Stacey Skrysak.

We had been preparing for this moment for weeks. At 20 weeks gestation, my water broke with our first triplet, Abigail. I lay in my hospital bed, unable to sleep as I pondered what might happen in the coming hours. To our surprise, my children were content; the warm blanket of my body provided the comfort they needed to continue to grow.

As the long hours stretched into days, we began daily meetings with doctors, discussing our best and worst case scenarios. For each week that my pregnancy progressed, the better chance our triplets had of surviving.

We heard endless statistics and the challenges we faced if our children were born at 23, 24, 25 weeks of gestation. The doctors were practical, not sugarcoating the prognosis, but they still gave us a glimmer of hope.

While many hospitals won’t intervene until a baby reaches 23 or 24 weeks gestation, our hospital believed in giving our children a chance if possible. And that was the case on June 23, 2013, when I delivered my children at 22 weeks 6 days.

Our story is far from picture perfect. Our first triplet passed away within two hours of birth; our second triplet died just shy of two months old. Our surviving triplet spent nearly four months in the NICU, overcoming a mountain of hurdles, before finally coming home to begin her life.

The long, bumpy road is now a distant memory. Our 22-weeker is happy and healthy today. Peyton is our one-pound miracle, and according to her doctors, she is completely caught up developmentally at 3 years old.

We know she is the rarity. Our children were given a less than 10% chance of survival. If they survived, their chances of leading a healthy life with few complications were slim. Luckily, fate was on our side. Our doctors gave our children a chance at life. But, many families are not so lucky.

Over the years, I’ve heard from hundreds of parents of premature babies. Some share their miracle stories that mirror my daughter’s journey, but oftentimes I hear stories of lost hope.

I hear from parents wondering why my children were given a chance when their hospital only offered "comfort care," allowing the family to hold their baby as it died in their arms. Every time I hear those words, a little piece of my heart crumbles. Every time I think about a child not given a fighting chance, I look at my daughter Peyton. I imagine what life would be like if I had walked out of our hospital empty handed, always wondering what if? Even though two of my children eventually passed away, each one of them was given that fighting chance. However short their lives were, we created memories, and that’s only possible because our doctors stepped in with lifesaving measures.

There is no way my triplets would have survived without the intensive care they received. Babies born between 22 and 24 weeks are in a grey area, hovering between life and death. But research has shown that a baby this young can survive, and in rare cases like ours, the child can thrive.

Image courtesy of Stacey Skrysak.

So what can be done? I’m not asking all hospitals to lower their viability standards. Many hospitals are simply not equipped to treat babies that tiny or young. But, more can be done, and that starts with education.

No mother plans on having a premature baby, and oftentimes, the complications happen in an instant. We need to educate parents and let them know their options. In some cases, they can be transferred to other hospitals that can better treat the youngest babies. In other cases, it comes down to communication and a better understanding of the hospital’s policies.

June 23, 2013, and August 16, 2013, are the two worst days of my life. Those are the dates that two of my triplets died. But with the heartache comes happiness as I think of the memories I created in their short time here on Earth. Abby and Parker may have been tiny, but they are making a huge impact in so many lives around the world.

As for my miracle survivor, we know that Peyton could face struggles down the road due to her premature birth, but we’re ready and prepared. Peyton continues to climb mountains, conquering everything that comes her way. She is living proof that miracles do exist, and she’s the poster child for why even the youngest babies should be given that fighting chance at life.

Animals & Wildlife

6th grader's science experiment answers, 'Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?'

A question no one knew they needed answered.

Photo courtesy of Kerry Hyde

Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on? Science answers.

Cat owners sometimes have unique questions that even Google doesn't always have the answer to. This is probably the sole reason cat forums exist, but one kid who needed a 6th grade science project decided to skip the cat forums for answers and instead use the scientific method. Kaeden Henry, a sixth grader living in Florida, bravely pondered a question few (if any one) has been brave enough to ask: do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?

Since cats do whatever the heck they want, training them not to jump on kitchen counters is a feat even Hercules struggles to complete. These fierce felines don't care if you're cooking dinner or trying to get comfy in bed. If they want to sit somewhere, they're going to do it. The thought of cat butts on that expensive Serta pillow designed to feel like you're sleeping on a cloud can gross people out, but thanks to Kaeden, you no longer have to wonder if the butthole itself is also making contact.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

The curious sixth grader is homeschooled and well-versed in the scientific method thanks to her mother's PhD in animal behavior with a concentration in feline behavior. And, since they own cats, the science experiment was pretty straightforward (and directly impactful).

To complete the experiment, Henry and his mom, Kerry Hyde, bought non-toxic lipstick and applied it to each of their cat's anuses. Then, the cats were given commands.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

"Non-toxic lipstick was applied to their bum-bums, they were then given a series of commands (sit, wait, lie down, and jump up. Side note: Both cats have been trained since kittenhood with a variety of commands, they also know how to high-five, spin around, and speak.), they were compensated with lots of praise, pets, and their favorite treats, and the lipstick was removed with a baby wipe once we collected our data in just under 10 minutes," Hyde wrote in a Facebook post.

The results? Turns out that, no, cat buttholes do not touch every surface cats sit on. Now, let's all take a collective sigh of relief while we go over the details. Kaeden's experiment covered long-haired, short-haired, and medium-haired cats (if your cat is hairless, you better stock up on Clorox wipes just in case).

"His results and general findings: Long and medium haired cat’s buttholes made NO contact with soft or hard surfaces at all. Short haired cats made NO contact on hard surfaces. But we did see evidence of a slight smear on the soft bedding surface. Conclusion, if you have a short haired cat and they may be lying on a pile of laundry, an unmade bed, or other soft uneven surface, then their butthole MAY touch those surfaces!" Hyde shares.

Now every curious cat owner can rest easy knowing that as long as their cat has hair, their bare bottom balloon knot is not touching the majority of surfaces in their home.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

The amusing experiment caught the Internet's attention. People laughed and commented, with one person writing, "This is probably the most useful information I’ve learned from a science fair project."

"Good to know!...I can now eat my sandwich left on the counter with confidence!" another writes.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

"A+++!!! Whew!! I am very grateful for your sciencing on this subject. My fears from walking in on my cat sitting on my laptop keyboard and subsequently being grossed out and cleaning furiously in a hyper-ocd manner have been somewhat allayed and now maybe I won’t have to use QUIIITE so many wipes." someone chimes in.

"Finally.. Someone answers the important questions!!"

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History (Education)

The Statue of Liberty is a symbol of welcoming immigrants. That wasn't what she was made for.

Dr. Joy DeGruy explains how Lady Liberty's oft-ignored shackles symbolize her near-forgotten origins.

Photo credit: Canva (left), Atsme (right)

Many people are not aware of the chains at the Statue of Liberty's feet, much less why they are there.

With her flowing robes, flaming torch held high, and crown radiating out to the world like a beacon of hope, the Statue of Liberty has stood as an American emblem off the coast of New York for over two centuries.

If you were to ask the average American what they think of when they think of the Statue of Liberty, many would say she's a symbol of the liberty sought by people around the world who have come to our shores to find it. As the first American sight countless immigrants saw when they arrived at Ellis Island, with her pedestal bearing the words, "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…" Lady Liberty has long been synonymous with the American tradition of welcoming immigrants.

But that's not actually what she was made for.

statue of liberty, liberty island, ellis island, immigration, slaveryLady Liberty welcomes people to New York.Photo credit: Canva

French politician Édouard de Laboulaye conceived of the idea for the Statue of Liberty to be built as a gift from France to the United States in 1865, the year the U.S. Civil War ended. That timing wasn't a coincidence. Laboulaye was a staunch abolitionist and president of the French Anti-Slavery Society, and his views were central to his commissioning of the statue. The statue was to be a gift celebrating the end of slavery in the U.S., as well as the centennial of the nation's founding and a symbol of good relations between France and America. Its ties to immigration wouldn't come until decades later.

Dr. Joy Degruy, sociologist, educator, and author of "Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America's Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing,"" shares a story about visiting the Statue of Liberty in her book and talks. She recounted the story to Brandi Harvey on the Vault Empowers podcast, informing people—many for the first time—that the Statue of Liberty's origin story began with anti-slavery activism, not immigration.

Watch:

As Dr. DeGruy explains, the original design had Lady Liberty holding broken chains in her left hand, not the tablet we see today. Sometime between the original drawings and the final design, those chains were moved to her feet—where they aren't visible unless you are flying through the air over them—and the tablet bearing the date July 4, 1776 in Roman numerals took their place.

Exactly how and why that change was made is not entirely clear in the historical record. But the fact that it even happened has not been widely shared, even by the people giving tours of the statue and sharing her history. DeGruy asked the tour guide about the chains on a visit and went on a hunt for the historical document showing the original design.

"So we go into the basement of the Statue of Liberty," she said. "We're in the basement of the Statue of Liberty. We find the document—encased in glass, behind figurines, facing a wall in a hallway. So here we have the truth, hidden in plain sight."

In a deep dive of the written historical records we have, researcher Rebecca M. Joseph, PhD. fact-checked various myths about the statue and her findings verified her anti-slavery origins as one of two parts of Laboulaye's vision of celebrating American liberty:

"The Statue of Liberty would never have been conceived or built if its principal French and American advocates had not been active abolitionists who understood slavery as the cause of the Civil War and its end as the realization of the promise of liberty for all as codified in the Declaration of Independence. But the Statue of Liberty was not intended entirely as a monument to the end of slavery. The statue’s form after June 1871 clearly embodies Laboulaye’s views on the two-part realization, in 1776 and 1864, of his ideal of liberty. The centennial of the American Revolution was significant to the French sponsors because the Civil War ended slavery and preserved the Union at a time when the France’s future was still uncertain. For the American republicans, it was a timely opportunity to erect a monument to their efforts and worldview. Laboulaye and his French colleagues also wished to send a political message back to France. Bartholdi cast the project in the broadest terms, hoping to encourage additional commissions."

\u00c9douard Ren\u00e9 de Laboulaye, statue of liberty, anti-slaveryFrench abolitionist Édouard René de Laboulaye, who commissioned the Statue of Liberty.upload.wikimedia.org

So how did we come to associate the Statue of Liberty with immigration? That's another interesting story, as Joseph explains:

"The conventional interpretation of the statue as a monument to American immigrants is a twentieth-century phenomenon. In its early years (1871-1886), that view was only rarely and vaguely expressed, while references to the Civil War and abolition of slavery occur repeatedly from its first introduction to the United States in 1871 up to and including the dedication celebrations in 1886. Immigrants did not actually see the Statue of Liberty in large numbers until after its unveiling. In the early twentieth century, the statue became a popular symbol for nativists and white supremacists. Official use of the statue's image to appeal to immigrants only began in earnest with public efforts to Americanize immigrant children and the government’s advertising campaign for World War I bonds. The 'immigrant' interpretation gained momentum in the 1930s as Americans prepared for war with Hitler and by the 1950s, it had become the predominant understanding of the statue's original purpose and meaning."

Since DeGruy raised the issue of the exclusion of the statue's anti-slavery origins, the Statue of Liberty national monument and museum has updated its educational program to include them. For some, it might seem like a mere factual correction, but for Black Americans who visit the Statue of Liberty, De Gruy says, it could potentially change their whole relationship to her symbolism.

"When Black people walk through, you hear white people say, 'Oh well, you know, my great great, and my great great…' but Black men, women, and children feel no connection to Lady Liberty. But how much prouder would they be if they knew that their ancestors that didn't come through Ellis Island, that came chained together in the belly of ships, that she was standing on those shackles? How much prouder would those young people be?"

Dr. DeGruy shared more about how Black Americans can find healing through hidden history. You can watch the full Vault Empowers interview with her here:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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Parenting

Yet another school district shifts to 4-day week and parents are sounding off

So... when are we getting the matching 4-day work week?

Unsplash

When talking with other parents I know, it's hard not to sound like a grumpy old man when we get around to discussing school schedules. "Am I the only one who feels like kids have so many days off? I never got that many days off when I was a kid! And I had to go work in the coal mine after, too!" I know what I sound like, but I just can't help it.

In Georgia, where I live, we have a shorter summer break than some other parts of the country. But my kids have the entire week of Thanksgiving off, a week in September, two whole weeks at Christmas, a whole week off in February, and a weeklong spring break. They have asynchronous days (during which they complete assignments at home, which usually takes about 30 minutes) about once a month, and they have two or three half-day weeks throughout the year. Quite honestly, it feels like they're never in school for very long before they get another break, which makes it tough to get in a rhythm with work and career goals. Plus, we're constantly arranging day camps and other childcare options for all the time off. Actually, I just looked it up and I'm not losing my mind: American kids have fewer school days than most other major countries.

So it caught my attention in a major way when I read that Whitney Independent School District in Texas recently decided to enact a 4-day week heading into the 2025 school year. That makes it one of dozens of school districts in Texas to make the change and over 900 nationally.


Giphy

The thought of having the kids home from school EVERY Friday or Monday makes me want to break out in stress hives. But this 4-day school week movement isn't designed to give parents a headache. It's meant to lure teachers back to work.

Yes, teachers are leaving the profession in droves and young graduates don't seem eager to replace them. Why? The pay is bad, for starters, but that's just the beginning. Teachers are burnt out, undermined and criticized relentlessly, held hostage by standardized testing, and more. It can be a grueling, demoralizing, and thankless job. The love and passion they have for shaping the youth of tomorrow can only take you so far when you feel like you're constantly getting the short end of the stick.

School districts want to pay their teachers more, in theory, but their hands are often tied. So they're getting creative to recruit the next generation of teachers into their schools — starting with an extra day off for planning, catch-up, or family time every week.

Teachers in 4-day districts often love the new schedule. Kids love it (obviously). It's the parents who, as a whole, aren't super thrilled.

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

So far, the data shows that the truncated schedule perk is working. In these districts, job applications for teachers are up, retirements are down, and teachers are reporting better mental well-being. That's great news!

But these positive developments may be coming at the price of the working parents in the communities. Most early adopters of the 4-day week have been rural communities with a high prevalence of stay-at-home parents. As the idea starts to take hold in other parts of the country, it's getting more pushback. Discussions on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media are overrun with debate on how this is all going to shake up. Some parents, to be fair, like the idea! If they stay-at-home or have a lot of flexibility, they see it as an opportunity for more family time. But many are feeling anxious. Here's what's got those parents worried:

The effect on students' achievement is still unclear.

The execution of the 4-day week varies from district to district. Some schools extend the length of each of the four days, making the total instructional time the same. That makes for a really long day, and some teachers say the students are tired and more unruly by the late afternoon. Some districts are just going with less instruction time overall, which has parents concerned that their kids might fall behind.

4-day school weeks put parents in a childcare bind.

Having two working parents is becoming more common and necessary with the high cost of living. I know, I know — "school isn't daycare!" But it is the safe, reliable, and educational place we send our kids while we need to work.

Families with money and resources may be able to enroll their kids in more academics, extracurriculars, sports, or childcare, but a lot of normal families won't be able to afford that cost. Some schools running a 4-day week offer a paid childcare option for the day off, but that's an added expense and for families with multiple kids in the school system, it's just not possible.

This will inevitably end with some kids getting way more screentime.

With most parents still working 5-day weeks, and the cost of extra activities or childcare too high, a lot of kids are going to end up sitting around on the couch with their iPad on those days off. I'm no expert, and I'm certainly not against screentime, but adding another several hours of it to a child's week seems less than ideal.

Of course there are other options other than paid childcare and iPads. There are play dates, there's getting help from family and friends. All of these options are an enormous amount of work to arrange for parents who are already at capacity.

Working 4 days is definitely a win for teachers that makes the job more appealing. But it doesn't address the systemic issues that are driving them to quit, retire early, or give up their dreams of teaching all together.

Giphy

A Commissioner of Education from Missouri calls truncated schedules a "band-aid solution with diminishing returns." Having an extra planning day won't stop teachers from getting scapegoated by politicians or held to impossible curriculum standards, it won't keep them from having to buy their own supplies or deal with ever-worsening student behavior.

Some teachers and other experts have suggested having a modified 5-day school week, where one of the days gets set aside as a teacher planning day while students are still on-site participating in clubs, music, art — you know, all the stuff that's been getting cut in recent years. Something like that could work in some places.

As a dad, I don't mind the idea of my busy kids having an extra day off to unwind, pursue hobbies, see friends, catch up on projects, or spend time as a family. And I'm also very much in favor of anything that takes pressure off of overworked teachers. But until we adopt a 4-day work week as the standard, the 4-day school week is always going to feel a little out of place.

This article originally appeared in February

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Joy

People are finding healing from woman's sweet 'welcome to girls night in your 30s' video

"This is the post every girl needs to see."

@danilyndesign/TikTok

30s look different for everyone

A 6-second video showing a handful of 30-something friends having a “girl’s night” is striking a heart nourishing nerve for millions.

In the video, posted by @danilyndesign, the camera pans over the group as the caption depicts the scene:

“Girls nights in your 30s. We're holding one girl’s babies, one girl is showing her hinge matches, while another girl is laughing about her ex husband.”

And then, Dani drives the point home:

“You’re never behind in life. You are exactly where you are meant to be right now.”


@danilyndesign Girls nights in your 30’s are what my younger self dreamed of. #girlhood #femalefriendship #girlsintheir30s #girlsnight ♬ Take My Hand - Matt Berry


With its simple yet profound message, it’s no wonder that the clip quickly racked up nearly 6.5 million views on TikTok, and spawned a ton of lovely conversations.

For one thing, people noted how it added a touch of nuance to the “it takes a village” concept. Often we think of villages as a necessity (or luxury, these days) for parents only, when in fact having a safe community is vital for everyone.

“This is ‘the village’! It's not moms at the center, it’s everyone that matters and everyone’s lives are valued and respected," one person commented.

Viewers also felt a sense of relief seeing how each chapter of life seemed to be fully embraced by the friend group. After all, everyone in their 30s has had their own personal set of milestones, challenges, heartbreaks, existential crises, that have helped shape the adult they are. Not always, but often, a lot of the arbitrary pressures we put on ourselves begin to dissolve by this age, so that we can better appreciate where we actually are in life, wherever that may be.

girls night, 30s, friends, making friends, motherhood, heartwarming, milestones, life in your 30s, first babyLadies having a girls' nightPhoto credit: Canva

“Beautiful and remember no matter where you are in the journey, we are allll just figuring it out day by day. Find joy in it wherever you can” one person wrote.

Another added, “I want to tell every woman stressed in their twenties that their thirties will be better, they just need to trust themselves and hang in there.”

“This is the post post every girl needs to see,” wrote a third. “You’re exactly where you need to be.”

For some, this particular insight came at just the write time.

“Needed this. I’m 28 turning 29. My besties are all either engaged/married with a kid and I can’t get past the talking stage. Then I remember our paths are different and I’m where I need to be right now,” confessed one viewer.

girls night, 30s, friends, making friends, motherhood, heartwarming, milestones, life in your 30s, first babyA woman showing off her engagement ringPhoto credit: Canva

Lastly, people had so much love for how this perfectly captured the immense value of long-term friendship. As one person wrote, "growing and evolving with friends is the most beautiful thing. They’ve seen so many versions of us and love them all.”

Another said, “Like in White Lotus when she said ‘I;m just happy to be at the table.’”

As cliché as it is, life truly isn’t about the destination—it’s about the journey. And those beloved relationships we cultivate along the way. We all contain multitudes, and hopefully our friend hangs can help remind us of that when we need it.

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Popular

Frustrated mom puts baby shampoo in her own eyes to test which are truly 'tear free'

"Trying 'tear free' baby shampoos to see if our babies are being dramatic."

Photo credit: Canva

Mom tests 'tear-free' baby shampoo in her eyes. Some burn badly.

Having a baby can be stressful, especially because parents just want to do what's best for them. Because babies can't talk, though, it's hard to know if there's a problem. Of course, babies cry to alert us they need tending to, but are they crying because they're in pain or because they don't like bath water touching their face? Do they need a diaper change or is their left sock soggy because they just discovered they could put their foot in their mouth? The answer to "Why is my baby crying?" can be anything, but the last thing a parent wants it to be is pain.

Tori Keller has been having a hard time washing her children's hair due to all the crying even though she uses "tear free" shampoo. The bath time dramatics were enough to make her wonder if the problem was her children simply not liking their hair being washed or if it was the shampoo. Keller decided to put the baby shampoo to the test using her own eyeballs so she would know once and for all.

gif, baby, bath time, hair washing, baths, babiesBeauty Baby GIF by Aksan KozmetikGiphy

In her totally scientific experiment, the young mom happily hopped into the running shower wearing what appears to be workout clothing. Once she gets in and wets her face under the shower head, her husband, who is standing off to the side, squirts a couple of pumps of baby shampoo on her forehead and rubs it in, being sure to get it on her eyes. First up is the very familiar and extremely popular Johnson's baby shampoo, and quite honestly, the results look painful.

Nearly immediately after opening her eyes the shampoo burned so badly that she forgot she was standing right next to running water. Keller keeps yelling "Oh!" in increasing intensity as she seemingly doesn't know how to make the stinging stop. Finally, her husband points her in the direction of the shower head. "That one's bad" she says with her eyes are still closed.

shower, burning, eyes, shampoo, soap in eyes, painScreaming Oh God GIF by Film RiotGiphy

Next up is Aveeno Kids, which also claims to be tear-free. Much to the mom's relief, it is much less intense. Keller declares that it's "not terrible, it's a tiny bit of a sting." Phew. Aveeno still seems to be in the running for actually being tear-free, but she still has more shampoos to go. Next on deck is Honest Calm Shampoo and Body Wash and, once again, the discomfort is instant. It took Keller quite a bit of time to rid her eyes of the stinging.

@torikeller PART 3 of trying baby products 🤪 I’ll let you guys know if i can see tomorrow! What’s next?! #sahm #mom #motherhood #babyproducts #momcontent ♬ original sound - torikeller

The last one Keller tries is Equate Baby Shampoo which is also very uncomfortable. Keller really is a trooper because in other videos, she tries even more baby shampoos. People in the comments were thankful for the mom's dedication to "research" while others had bones to pick with their own mothers after seeing the results.

"This is so smart thank you for doing that. Aveeno it is for my baby!" one person says.

@torikeller TRING BABY PRODUCTS PART 4 🫡#sahm #babyproducts #babyshampoo #tearfreeshampoo #mom #motherhood #momcontent ♬ original sound - torikeller

"I’m about to send this to my mom she SWORE the Johnson’s wasn’t burning my eyes as a child but it does!!!!!!"

"Thank you for your scientific research"

"I’ve never found a tear free product that didn’t obliterate my eyes. I still haven’t found a sunscreen that I can use on my face without going blind."

"This is so helpful! Thank you for taking one for the team babies!" one viewer cheers.

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