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We asked about your favorite holiday gifts. The comment section blew us away.

Receiving a gift given from the heart is something that sticks with you forever.

It's not because of how elaborate or expensive or well-wrapped it is. The best gifts are the ones with the most thought and care poured into them — sometimes from our dearest loved ones, other times from complete strangers. They can heal our souls, help us when we're in a rut, or simply put a smile on our face when we need it most.

Photo via iStock.


We asked you — our readers — about the best holiday gifts you've ever received. Your answers did not disappoint.

Here are 15 of the best gifts Upworthy readers said they've ever received:

Responses have been condensed and edited for length and clarity.

1. Household items to mark the next chapter in life

"My family helped me move into an apartment one November after leaving an abusive relationship. They bought my furniture, paid my deposit and helped me move the things I was able to take from my old place. I wasn't expecting much for Christmas because of all the money they had spent on getting me set in my apartment. When we opened gifts, every member of my family had gotten me something that I needed or wanted. A good set of knives, a vacuum and cleaning supplies, and from my mother — who had spent the most on getting me into my apartment — a laptop. It wasn't the money they spent, it was that they went out of their way to be able to afford to give large presents to me a month after furnishing my home for me." Angela Burlingame

Angela and her mom. Photo via Angela Burlingame, used with permission.

2. An old guitar with a new story

"My brother died from suicide in 2006. I had inherited one of his guitars, but the neck had been broken and he had re-glued it.My wife took it to a repair shop to have it fixed for me without me knowing as a Christmas gift. She said she had never been so nervous taking it, but knew it would mean a lot to me, and it did." — Lynlee Lybrook

Photo via Lynlee Lybrook, used with permission.

3. A gift that waited months to be found

"My husband, who loved Christmas and the joy of giving, passed away in April 2010 while waiting for a liver transplant. When I looked for the Christmas wrapping paper in December, there was a package all wrapped in red shiny paper with my name on it in his handwriting. It read, 'please don't open 'til Christmas.' It was so him." — Noreen Leahy

Noreen with her husband (L) and the lovely gift she found from him (R). Photos from Noreen Leahy, used with permission.

4. 100 outfits, made with love

"There were five kids in my family, and we didn't have a lot of money. A couple of weeks before xmas, I thought I heard my mom sewing on her machine. I asked her one morning what she was working on, but she said I must have imagined it. On Christmas morning, when we ran into the living room, there was a Barbie doll for me and my two sisters. Laid out all around them were 100 outfits that my mom had made. I didn't put the two together until I was a little older. It is my favorite holiday memory." — Virginia Rankin

5.  A teddy bear to adore

"When I was in third grade and my sister was in fourth, she made me a teddy bear. I would hear her and our mom whispering and the sound of the sewing machine for weeks, wondering what they were up to. I am the youngest of 11, and my mom was a working single mother. We had many hard times. Christmas morning I received the bear. It was a little malformed but I loved it! Fast forward 27 years and now my daughter has the bear."
Kimberlee Smith

In the picture on the left, Kimberlee Smith (right) with her sister. Photos via Kimberlee Smith, used with permission.

6. Hair dressing supplies with history

"My grandmother was a hairdresser for years. She passed away three years ago. Last Christmas, after everyone had finished opening gifts, my aunt had one last gift. I was shocked to learn it was for me. She presented me with a small suitcase-looking square box. I knew instantly what it was.I used items from it when my grandmother was too lame to leave her house. I would come to do her hair. I started to cry, and so did my aunt. I was given the case of all of my grandmother's hairdressing supplies. Most items were from the '60-'70s. That was the best gift I have ever received. I miss my Grammie, but I can open this box and remember her!" — Amanda Faunce

7. A blanket to stay warm, inside and out

"My friend Hannah made me a rainbow blanket for my sofa days. I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and chronic fatigue syndrome amongst other things and spend a lot of time on the couch feeling crappy. My blanket keeps me warm and reminds me that my friend cares, even if we don't see each other very often." — Jess Dell

Photo via Jess Dell, used with permission.

8. Toys from "unkie" and his friends

"A couple of years ago, my husband was out of work, and I was staying at home with our daughter. We had no toys for her under the tree, and barely had enough to even get the tree and some lights for it. A friend of ours, my daughter's 'unckie,' secretly contacted people to get gifts for her so she'd have something under the tree. It was the most thoughtful thing anyone's ever done." Crystal Tracy

9. A gift best given by a sister

"My sister gave me and my siblings each a book for Christmas last year. Completely unexpectedly, it was a beautifully bound selection of our deceased father's [paper] marbling. She had taken [the sheets] for safe keeping after our mother had passed and we had cleared out her house. That was our first Christmas as five adult/teen orphans. We were far from home, but to be able to spend it together with such a special physical reminder of our parents ... well, there were a few tears shed when that gift was opened." — Amelia Keenan Monaghan

Amelia and her sisters (left). The gifts from her sister (right). Photo via Amelia Kennan Monaghan, used with permission.

10. The best kind of re-gifts

"My best gifts were the Christmas after I split from my ex. I had very little money and had been left with massive bills. My kids made me gifts and wrapped up some of their belongings they thought I would like, so I would have things to open for Christmas (they were 12, 7, and 5). I love them with all my heart, and will never forget that." — Kim L. Stirling

11. The gift of brotherly love

"Last Christmas, my son was one and half years old. I bought a wooden toy kitchen that took FOREVER to put together. I wanted it together with a bow on it for Christmas morning. My little brother came over to help. We spent hours getting it together and it was not done. It got to be 2 a.m. and I was exhausted. Turned out, half of the pieces were backward and we had to start over. I couldn't stay up anymore, so I went to bed, upset not to have that magical moment of my son walking down the stairs to find it. Little did I know, my little brother stayed up all morning to finish it ... not for my son, but for me to have that moment. By far the most memorable gift I've ever received." — Jennifer Rebecca

Photo via Jennifer Rebecca, used with permission.

12. A bracelet worth a thousand words

"I adopted my youngest son as a single parent. He had cognitive disabilities from birth and an addictive personality, which made his teen years even more challenging. After so many difficult years of setbacks and struggles, he made a bracelet for me, with the word 'HERO' in big letters. Obviously, it is priceless to me." — Lynda Pratscher

13. A truly one-of-a-kind book

"My husband and son found me THE most incredible and one-of-a-kind gift. One of my favorite authors passed in 2014. His name was Farley Mowat and he was an incredible Canadian author. My husband contacted his estate and was able to purchase a book for me from his personal collection. This gorgeous 1st edition book (one of my favorite childhood stories, originally given to my sister and I by our grandmother) actually sat on Farley's desk in his home for 60 years (it's a bit bleached from the sun) and is signed by the author. My husband snuck off to Port Hope, Ontario, to visit Mowat's home and his favorite bookstore to find me this treasure and I shall be eternally grateful for such a thoughtful gift. I treasure it and will read it aloud to my son and new daughter when they are old enough."Kristen Meyer-Creamer

Photo via Kristen Meyer-Creamer, used with permission.

14. Miles and miles in the sky

"I don't know if this fits the bill, but I'll share anyway. The last three years my friends have treated me by paying for airline tickets so I could come and spend holidays with them. I'm retired and disabled and having a hard time making ends meet, and we all live in different places now. This year it was Thanksgiving in Las Vegas, same as last year, and 2014 brought me to Florida for Christmas. The most amazing part is that these are not my family but relatives of my friend, Mary, who had college Spanish with my roommate Sue in 1972. We have stayed friends since then, with marriages and deaths and births in between. They have become my family and have brought me into theirs and I so value them for it. Thanks for letting me share that." — Pat Martin

15. Cherries that never miss a Christmas

"My mom always gave me a wrapped box of chocolate covered cherries every Christmas. The first Christmas without her, my daughter wrapped a box of the same candy and put 'from Mom' on the tag. Of course there were many tears but I felt her presence, which was the best present ever. It's been 12 years and my daughter never forgets my candy. I can't open it until everyone leaves." —Mary Lou Keith

This holiday season, let's remember that it truly is the thought that counts.

From hours and hours painstakingly creating a perfectly imperfect homemade present, to going the extra mile for a sibling when it really counts, you showed us that the love behind a great gift can stay with us forever. That's what keeps the holidays so merry and bright.

We also asked you about the best gift you ever gave (spoiler alert: your answers were equally beautiful). You can read that article here.

Pets

The most inspiring pet stories of 2024

Leading pet brand Nulo knows every cat and dog has the power to be incredible.

Incredible pets deserve incredible food.

2024 was a year filled with heartwarming stories that reminded us of the incredible bond between humans and their furry companions. From acts of bravery to heartwarming gestures, these pets made a huge impact on the lives of their owners… and the lives of many, many more.

It’s stories like these that continue to inspire leading pet nutrition brand Nulo, which is committed to helping pets live their best lives with functional, delicious and nutritious food. Through their innovative and intentional formulas, Nulo fuels incredible cats and dogs just like the ones below each and every day.

Enjoy some stories below of 2024’s goodest boys and girls — courageous dogs, trauma-informed kitties and much, much more —that really show the unwavering love and loyalty animals bring into our lives. Their inspiring actions fuel incredible.

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When a 71-year-old man went unconscious and collapsed during a steep hike, his golden retriever and a black labrador instinctively broke up into a rescue team — the smart and resourceful labrador going off to look for help, and the loyal goldie staying by its owner's side. Sometimes it’s smart to have two of “man’s best friends.”

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Marley, a seven-year-old, black and white feline known for his "incredible gift of empathy” won Cat Protection's National Cat of the Year 2024 for the way he comforts women who have been enslaved, exploited and trafficked and staying at the Caritas Bakhita Safe House in London. He’s known to often leave a reassuring paw on guests’ legs to “let them know they’re not alone,” a gesture often called “the first kindness they’ve experienced in years.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In early 2024, Kobe, a four-year-old husky with an extraordinary sense of smell, began digging obsessively in the yard. At first the pooch’s owner, Chanell Bell, thought this was just typical behavior, but soon discovered that Kobe had indeed detected a dangerously large cloud of natural gas that would have not only been seriously life-threatening to her, but the entire neighborhood. It’s like they say, “the nose knows.”

Eight-year-old golden retriever Roger, may have failed his drug-sniffing training in Taiwan, but it turns out he has a knack for rescue operations during natural disasters. After a 7.4-magnitude earthquake struck, Roger dug through the rubble of a collapsed building to locate the body of one of the 13 people killed in the quake, offering closure to a grieving family. This earned him the nickname of “the pride of Taiwan” on social media.

Dogs don’t only save humans — sometimes they rescue other animals as well.

When folks scrolling through the X account called “Animals Dying” saw a video of a creature swimming through murky water with a deer fawn in its jaws, they probably assumed it was an alligator enjoying its latest meal. But to everyone’s surprise and delight, it was actually a Labrador Retriever making sure the sweet little fawn didn’t drown.

Once a stray, 12-year-old Cilla found her home at Outwoods Primary School in Warwickshire, England, where she calms anxious students, inspires a community of cat lovers on X, and has even used her social media celebrity to help raise £5,000 to restock the school library — a place she loves to lounge in.

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In July, Bloodhound puppy and K-9 unit member Remi used his powerful nose to help an autistic and non-verbal boy who had gotten lost find his way back home. Deputy B. Belk, Remi’s partner, used a piece of sterile gauze to collect the scent from the boy’s forearms and the back of his neck and had Remi “reverse” track backwards for about half a mile to locate the child’s home in a nearby neighborhood.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

When a beautiful pooch named Gita saw her 84-year-old owner fall and hurt his leg, she ran down to the main road, and refused to move until someone stopped to help. Eventually she was seen by a man named Deputy Wright, who tried to get Gita into his patrol car, but the dog wouldn’t budge. When Gita did finally bolt off, Wright followed her down to where the man had been stranded, and was able to help him. Without her protection, who knows if the man would have been found in time? “The loyalty and heroism of our furry friends never cease to amaze us,” Wright would end up writing on Facebook.

If there’s an incredible furry friend in your own life, nothing says “thank you” quite like a nourishing meal. Check out Nulo for a variety of recipes sure to be loved by your beloved pet.

Health

Doctor breaks down how to recognize ADHD in adults. The symptoms may be surprising.

"75% of adults with anxiety actually have ADHD as the cause of their anxiety."

Doctor breaks down how to recognize ADHD in adults

If it seems that everyone is being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), there may be a reason and it's likely not the reason people think. Diagnostic criteria were initially based off of how ADHD presented in white children who were mostly male, so if you fell outside of that box your diagnosis was often overlooked. This is especially true in girls who then turned into undiagnosed or misdiagnosed women.

But it's not just women who were undiagnosed since the criteria mostly included ways in which hyperactivity showed up—you know, the "H" in ADHD. But not everyone with ADHD presents with the stereotypical hyperactivity bit. Dr. Heather Brannon breaks down ways in which ADHD is missed and how to identify it in adults.

In the first few minutes of the video, Brannon drops a statistic that feels mind-boggling: "75% of adults with anxiety actually have ADHD as the cause of their anxiety." Even though I fit into that category, consider my mind completely boggled because I thought I was a rarity and my psychiatrist was a magician. Turns out, he was probably just up to date on his continuing education credits.

Brannon talks about how people who may express feelings of overwhelm, anxiousness, and tiredness and who are easily frustrated may actually have undiagnosed ADHD.

It's pretty easy to overlook ADHD that presents with more of the attention deficit part of the diagnosis than the hyperactivity part. When someone is having difficulty sitting still, talking so fast that you can barely keep up and is constantly on the go, it's pretty easy to pinpoint there may be an issue.

But when the person is quiet, sits still but misses large chunks of conversations or is chronically forgetful and sleepy, it's much easier to miss the signs, according to Brannon.

Brannon says many people feel bad about themselves without knowing why, so having an answer for why you're feeling this way can be helpful.

The video is really fascinating and may help others recognize signs within themselves or with loved ones.

Give it a gander below:

This article originally appeared last year.

Internet

TikTok 'no-buy quarter' trend is inspiring some brilliant ideas to save money in 2025

Viral 'no-buy quarter' hacks show how to avoid spending money for months at a time

Photo by Nina Uhlikova

Going outside is free, and in April your wallet will feel the gains.

As we move into the middle of December and hopefully start winding down the annual holiday spend-a-palooza, many are already looking ahead to their 2025 savings goals. In the spirit of Movember or Dry January — those feel-good challenges that mix self-improvement with a bit of group accountability — TikTok has given us a viral phenomenon: the “no-buy quarter.”

But, as the name implies, this time the challenge goes beyond a single month. Participants commit to three months of reduced spending, with some hardcore enthusiasts even extending it for a whole year! If you went a little too hard on spending during the holiday season, think of this as the perfect detox for your battered finances.

What is a no-buy quarter?

At its core, the no-buy quarter isn't about cutting out essential purchases. Groceries, medical expenses, and other necessities remain untouched. Instead, the goal is to reduce or eliminate non-essential spending. Think fewer splurges on coffee, takeout, home decor, or trendy gadgets.

@MckenzieMack

For TikTok creator @stephen_spann, a no-buy plan begins with making the most of what you already have. “Use up the food we already have before buying more,” Spann advises, noting the often-forgotten freezer items many households accumulate. He also emphasizes tackling beauty and health products stockpiled in bathroom cabinets before succumbing to the allure of the latest trends.

"If I see something new in the store, I get sucked into that... I need to use up what I already have first."

— @stephen_spann

Save with intention

For TikTok creator Mckenzie Mack, the no-buy quarter is a powerful tool for meeting ambitious financial goals. Mack plans to use the first three months of the year to frontload contributions to her 401(k).

@MckenzieMack

Her method? Increasing contributions to 26% during January through March to take advantage of a large bonus and reduce her contribution rate to 6-7% for the rest of the year.

“To max out your 401(k) in 2025, you need to contribute $23,500,” Mack explains. “By committing to a no-buy quarter, I’m ensuring a large chunk of my bonus goes directly toward my 401k.”

"This is a use-it-or-lose-it situation... I’m leaving a little extra in my fun money bucket, but once it’s gone, it’s gone."

— @MckenzieMack

Break free from spending cycles

Both Mack and Spann point out the emotional and behavioral shifts that come with embracing a no-buy lifestyle. Mack recommends cutting down on streaming services and finding joy in low-cost hobbies like hiking or game nights.

@stephen_spann

Spann, on the other hand, calls attention to the subtle temptations of shopping apps and notifications. “Remove shopping apps from your phone,” he says. “They’re just tempting me.”

"Just because I can get it on sale doesn’t mean I should buy it."

— @stephen_spann

Both creators agree that breaking the consumerist cycle is about appreciating what you already own. By doing so, they say, you save money and cultivate contentment.

How to start your own no-buy quarter

If the idea of a no-buy quarter appeals to you, here are some steps to get started:

  • Identify your essentials: Separate necessary expenses (groceries, rent) from discretionary ones.
  • Set clear rules: Decide what’s off-limits — dining out, clothing purchases, or subscription services.
  • Create a goal: Link your savings to something tangible, like paying down debt or increasing your emergency fund.
  • Track progress: Monitor your spending and celebrate milestones, no matter how small.
  • Find support: Share your plan on social media or with friends. Accountability can help you stay motivated.
  • Choose a cheat: Research shows that making a new routine too difficult is a recipe for bailing on it. Choose one spend to keep you sane.

From clearing out freezers and unsubscribing from services to making coffee at home, the no-buy quarter trend is more than a fleeting challenge. It’s a chance to rethink your relationship with money and discover the joys of intentional living.

Whether you take it on for three months or use it as a launchpad for a year of mindful spending, it could be the reset you need to make 2025 your best financial year yet.

Two people having a conversation at a party.

Many people, especially those who are introverted and shy, are uncomfortable making small talk with someone new, whether they’re at a party, work event, or just standing in line at the grocery store. However, a Harvard study revealed a simple 3-step trick to make you more likable and conversations more comfortable.

The researchers found that when approaching someone you have never met, asking a question and then 2 follow-up questions dramatically increases your likeability. The study was conducted by Harvard researchers and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors write. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

How do I make new people like me?

The study should be a big relief to shy people and introverts who are not interested in trying to impress people by going on and on about themselves.

According to the research, when you meet someone new at a party, the important thing is to approach them like it’s an interview, and you are the journalist. You just need one strong opening question and then you can follow up 2 times by asking them to clarify what they meant or expand on something they said.

via Nicole Michalou/Pexels

“Think to yourself, I need to ask at least five questions in this conversation, or I need to ask questions in this conversation, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. It’s easy to do, and — even better — requires almost no preparation,” Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School and a co-author of the study, said, according to Forbes.

People like those who ask follow-up questions not only because they enjoy talking about themselves. It also shows that their conversation partner is actively listening. They are paying attention, not looking over your shoulder at someone else. “Follow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,” the researchers write.

The findings counter the strategy many use when meeting someone for the first time, whether on a blind date or at a networking event. For many, the first step is to try and impress the new person, but research shows that’s not the case.

conversation, introverts, harvardTwo people talking at a party.via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels

“The tendency to focus on the self when trying to impress others is misguided,” the study’s authors wrote, adding that “redirecting the topic of conversation to oneself, bragging, boasting or dominating the conversation, tend to decrease liking.”

It’s a pretty simple concept: people like talking about themselves and if you allow them, they’ll like you more. “Compared to those who do not ask many questions, people who do are better liked and learn more information from their conversation partners,” Brooks said. “This strategy does both. It’s an easy-to-deploy strategy anyone can use to not only be perceived as more emotionally intelligent but to actually be more emotionally intelligent as well.”

One of the studies cited by the authors focused on online dating and found that asking follow-up questions meant a greater chance of getting a second date. The researchers found that the top third of question-askers got the most second dates. When researchers looked at face-to-face speed daters, where they met 20 people at a time, they found that asking one more question on each date would help someone succeed in getting a “yes I want to see you again” on one more date.

The 3-question rule has some caveats. You should make sure you're having a conversation, not an interrogation. “Asking a barrage of questions without disclosing information about yourself may come across as guarded, or worse, invasive,” Brooks says.

party, conversastion tips, harvardSome folks having fun at a party.via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

How much should I talk in a conversation?

While it’s important to ask questions when you meet someone new, you can’t let them do all the talking. Research shows that the perfect conversation ratio is 43:57. You do 43% of the talking and 57% of the listening. The goal is to make your conversation partner and new friend think, “Wow, that person really gets me” by the time the conversation ends.

The next time you find yourself in a social situation, you can feel a bit more relaxed knowing there is a scientifically proven way to ensure that people will find you likable and a good conversationalist. Remember the three-question rule: Open with a question and then ask 2 follow-ups.


This article originally appeared in September.

A Christmas song parody for the women of Gen X.

Most of us grow up hearing enough about menopause to understand the very basics of it. Periods stop. Hot flashes happen. Hormones are involved. For most of us, that's about the extent of what we ever learn about what happens during that transitional period of a woman's life. The details of what exactly menopause entails go largely unspoken and unacknowledged, leaving women in their 40s unprepared for years of wondering what the heck is happening to their bodies and minds as they careen toward their 50s.

Perimenopause, the period of time preceding actual menopause, is when all the fun starts. A random sprinkling of symptoms you had no idea were coming suddenly show up, throwing your whole world into disarray—and the chaos lasts for years. Women going through it know that if you don't laugh about it, you'll cry. So, thankfully the chaos has been accurately and hilariously captured by Penn and Kim Holderness in a parody Christmas song medley.

With parodies of "Here Comes Santa Claus," "Sleigh Ride," "Santa Claus is Comin' To Town," "Little Drummer Boy," and "O Christmas Tree," the Holdernesses tackle the forgetfulness, sleeplessness, moodiness, hair thinning, doctor gaslighting and more that comes with perimenopause.

Merry Perimenopause 🎅🏼

Oh HRT, oh HRT. Hormone replacement therapy 🎶

Watch:

@theholdernessfamily

Oh HRT, oh HRT. Hormone replacement therapy 🎶 #perimenopause #christmas

As they so often do, the Holdernesses hit the nail on the head with this parody, and it has Gen X women everywhere cheering.

"The new Gen X female anthem."

"As someone that works in an OBGYN office, I have officially requested this to be added to the waiting room playlist 😂"

"I nearly dropped my coffee-😂-he’s gaslighting you! Love it🤣 I’m rolling!"

"Omg love this! One thing you didn’t mention, the weight gain that comes out of nowhere and will not come off!!!"

"I’m impressed that no one was hurt in the recording of this video. 🤣🤣🤣"

"I have never felt more seen. 💜"

"This is an excellent contribution to society in all the ways 👏👏👏"

"I am so grateful to be going through this hell in a time where we are free to talk/sing about it!'

And there's the one upside to going through perimenopause in the 2020s—people are finally actually talking about it openly, honestly and publicly. Sure, women have always shared their experiences with one another in private conversations, but when you don't have a large enough sampling, it's hard to know what to expect. Doctors are often no help, either dismissing or diminishing your symptoms, telling you they are some version of "normal" or just giving an unhelpful, "Huh, that's weird" and leaving it at that.

To be fair, the symptoms that can come along with perimenopause are vast and varied. We expect the hot flashes and the moodiness, perhaps, but there are super off-the-wall things like dry eyes and ears, shoulder pain, itching all over that no one would logically associate with menopause. So it's understandable that doctors might not know what to do with all the perimenopausal possibilities. And since estrogen levels fluctuate unevenly during perimenopause, it's not always as simple as "get your hormones checked." Some women have a clear hormonal drop and find hormone replacement therapy a lifesaver. Some women experience all kinds of perimenopausal symptoms while never having an abnormal hormone test. A lot of perimenopausal management feels like shooting in the dark.

But hey, at least we have more information than our mothers and grandmothers did and a culture where we can make fun of our mid-life woes with parody videos like this one.

You can follow The Holderness Family on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube.


A woman looking towards the future.

Often, our biggest mistakes come when we make decisions based on how we feel in the present instead of thoroughly considering their effect on the future. The amount of money we save, the food we eat, the relationships we choose to nurture and our career decisions will all have a significant effect on our futures. The problem is that connecting with someone so distant can be challenging. The good news is that some prominent researchers have figured out how we can connect with our older selves to improve our happiness in the present and the future.

Hal Hershfeld, a marketing, behavioral decision-making, and psychology professor at UCLA's Anderson School of Management, found that when we think about our future selves, our brains light up like we are thinking about a stranger. That’s a problem because most people are more apt to look out for themselves than strangers. According to Hershefeld, uncertainty is the big reason we can’t relate to our future selves because the future looks blurry. We don't know where we'll be, how we'll look, what we'll be doing, or what the state of the world will be.

visualization, happiness, hal hershfeldA woman thinking about the future.via Canva/Photos

How to be happy in the future

So, the key is to start building a relationship with our future self by creating a vivid image in our minds and hearts about what our lives will be like in 20 years. When we connect with that person, we’ll be much more likely to treat them well by saving a little more, hitting the gym more often and fixing today’s problems before they worsen.

Yale professor Laurie Santos, teacher of its most popular class, the Good Life, took a page from Hershfeld's research and regularly talks to her future self.

How to connect to your future self

“We’re navigating what our future self might want in the present moment, but we often perspective-take on our future self quite poorly,” Santos told Fast Company. “Hal’s research has found that just seeing a picture of your future self can bring [the idea] more into view. It helps with that process of trying to figure out what [the future you] would really want.”

“It’s profound,” she continues. “I really recommend people try it out. You see an image of yourself as much older and it’s like: I don’t want her to be unhealthy or have diabetes. I don’t want her knees to be screwed up. It really did change the amount that I worked out and how I was eating. It made it easier to make choices that would help my future self, rather than screw her over.”

visualization, happiness, hal hershfeldA woman on the couch thnking about the future.via Canva/Photos

Why you should talk to your future self

Hershfeld also believes in having regular conversations with your future self. “Make that more a part of your life so that when you’re making big decisions that are going to have impacts and consequences later on, you are thinking about that push and pull between your present and future selves,” he told UCLA Newsroom.

The professor also recommends that people write a letter to — and then from — their future self. This will help you visualize the future more vividly. “I also talk about trying to figure out what parts of your life are going off course, then creating pre-commitments to a certain course of action,” he continues.

Ultimately, it’s hard to plan for a future or have strong feelings about its direction if we don’t have a clear idea or image of what it'll look like. Our lives are our greatest endeavor, and in the same way someone might visualize an art project or what a thriving business looks like, we can do the same with our lives. The clearer the picture we have of our future today, the greater the chance we will one day get to live it.