+
Pop Culture

Viola Davis gets candid about forgiving her abusive father

“Forgiveness is not pretty … it is not a Thursday-night lineup on ABC."

viola davis memoir

Viola Davis regards forgiving her father as her legacy.

While discussing her new memoir “Finding Me” with People magazine, Viola Davis hinted at one of the book’s main themes: the power of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is loosely defined as releasing resentment toward those who have harmed us. Most of us are at least somewhat familiar with how healing it can be. But what does forgiveness actually look like? What does it feel like? What do we do once we have forgiven?

During the interview, Davis shared a lot about her childhood: growing up in poverty, enduring bullying and even having an abusive parent.

Davis witnessed her father, Dan, regularly beat her mother Mae Alice during their 48 years of marriage.


However, before dying of pancreatic cancer in 2006, something changed within him. "My mom said he apologized to her every single day. Every single day, he rubbed her feet.”

And in that act of absolution between her parents, Davis realized that “forgiveness is not pretty … life is not a Thursday-night lineup on ABC. It is messy.”

Indeed, forgiveness does not equate to a fairytale ending. It doesn’t guarantee an end to pain. And it rarely happens effortlessly, or even quickly. It takes work, which can be seen as further unfairness.

Accepting the messiness allowed Davis to accept both realities. “He did hurt me then, but love and forgiveness can operate on the same plane as anger."

Davis chose to see her father not as a villain, but as a human, flawed and imperfect but also willing and loving. She chose to embrace it all with empathy.

“My dad loved me. I saw it. I felt it. I received it, and I took it,” Davis told People. “For me, that’s a much better gift and less of a burden than going through my entire life carrying that big, heavy weight of who he used to be and what he used to be and what he used to do.

“That’s my legacy: forgiving my dad,” she added.

Forgiveness is just as much about what we gain as what we give up. By shedding our identity as victim, life can once again be a series of choices. And in the process, we remember that now—in the present moment—we are free to make our own decisions. For those suffering from childhood trauma and seeking to break toxic generational patterns, this can be an invaluable gift.

"It's given me an extraordinary sense of compassion. It's reconciling that young girl in me and healing from the past—and finding home."

Davis, now happily married for nearly 20 years, has learned to cherish every part of her journey.

"I count it all as joy. I do. All of those things happened to me, but I own it. And it's a part of who I am."

Power and strength are attributes the award-winning actress is often associated with in her work, but after hearing her life story, it sounds like these qualities were also learned and developed through daunting challenges.

It takes courage to forgive, but as Davis exemplifies, it can fortify our spirit in profound ways. We might not all go on to star on the stage and screen, but perhaps we can all stand to live our own lives a bit more untethered.

Joy

NICU nurse adopts 14-year-old patient who delivered triplets alone

“I knew it would be impossible to find a foster home that would take all four of them. No one was going to take a teen mom and her preemie triplets.”

NICU nurse adopts teen with three babies.

Having your first baby is a scary experience. Everything is new—you've quite literally never done this before—not to mention an entire human is going to be removed from your body one way or another. Childbirth, no matter how your baby leaves your body, is not for the weak. But imagine giving birth alone to not just one baby, but three, all at the same time. Then imagine doing that feat at the age of 14.

Shariya Small experienced that scenario in a hospital in Indiana, and her nurse Katrina Mullen took note. Small's babies were premature, born at just 26 weeks, when the average gestation for triplets is 33 weeks, according to ReproductiveFacts.org. Due to their early birth, the babies, Serenitee, Samari and Sarayah, had to stay in the NICU at Community Hospital North in Indianapolis for more than five months, according to Today.com.

During their time in the NICU, Mullen noticed the young mom visited her babies alone, not appearing to have much of a support system. “She’d be there alone for days at a time sitting at her babies’ bedside,” Mullen told Today.com.

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

Pediatrician goes viral after sharing the 'secret' milestones parents might be missing

These things might not be on the traditional checklist, but they are baby benchmarks nonetheless.

@ThePediPals/TikTok

There are many, many milestones in a baby's development

There are some chapters in a baby’s development that all parents know to anticipate—taking those first steps, saying that first word, doing their first backflip (okay maybe not that last one, but you get it).

However, as pediatrician Dr. Sami explains in a now-viral TikTok, there are also some common, yet not-so-publicized “secret” milestones that many parents might be experiencing without even realizing it.

Rather than adding potential stress, she hopes that this list might help parents recognize that there are plenty of benchmarks worth taking note of and celebrating…and to also not agonize over fitting into a finite timeline.

Keep ReadingShow less

Teacher runs toward what she thought was a fight in her classroom.

It's been said countless times, but teachers really are the best and bravest of us all. Anyone who has spent time surrounded by kids, trying to help them learn while managing the countless crises that can occur when hundreds of immature humans are put together in one place, knows that teaching encompasses so much more than just academic instruction. Teachers serve as mentors, counselors, nurses, mediators and sometimes even security guards.

That's why a middle school teacher who thought there was a fight happening in her classroom ran full speed toward it—in a dress and heels, no less.

A TikTok video shared by @lilythern shows a teacher sprinting down a school hallway with an overlay of text that reads, "This middle school teacher thought she was running to break up a fight." As she runs into the classroom, she sees a couple of dozen students gathered in a tight circle and shouting. The teacher immediately starts pushing her way through the outside of the circle, yelling, "Hey! Break it up! Break it up!"

But there is no breaking up to be had. In fact, what she finds is the exact opposite.

Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

Little girl thinks her mom is an alien from outer space after finding her passport

Maybe "Men In Black" was a little too real for the sweet girl.

Little girl is afraid her mom is from outer space.

When you're little, you don't understand a whole lot, mostly because you just got here a little while ago. Oftentimes, those little instances of misunderstandings turn into stories you laugh at when you're older and have more time on Earth under your belt. For Nala-Joye, her "when you were little" story will be a bit more hilarious because she mistakenly thought her mom was an alien from outer space.

That's right. She thought her mom, Shaakira Brandon, was an alien after she found her mom's passport and saw a picture of space on the last page. One can only imagine the things that went through her head. I'm sure she wondered if her mom was actually her mom and if that made her an alien too. Perhaps she was hatched from a slimy egg and was awaiting her own alien powers.

Who knows, but whatever was running through her head was clearly scary at the time because this poor girl was very upset at the thought of her mom being an alien. But it turns out the girl, who is 5 years old, had recently seen "Men in Black." I'm sure, thinking back, the mom wonders if that was the wisest choice for a little one with a wild imagination.

Keep ReadingShow less

Family dog steals baby's pacifier and insists she's the new baby.

Dogs are sometimes just like human babies and other times they want to be the baby. We've all seen the sweet videos of dogs meeting their newborn human siblings and think, "How cute!" or laugh because their reaction is hilarious. You never quite know whether the pooch is going to give the new baby the side eye or instantly become its snuggle buddy.

For one family in Benton, Arkansas, their little Shih Tzu had apparently been plotting a daring plan since her new furless sibling arrived. Kaylee Burks uploaded a video to her social media accounts that show her newborn daughter crying her adorable newborn cry, and we quickly see why. Just above the baby's head is the family dog, Millie, sucking on the baby's pacifier, probably wondering what's wrong with the baby.

Keep ReadingShow less

Jennifer Garner has managed to keep her teens and tweens off of social media..

A huge part of parenting in the 21st century is figuring out how to navigate our kids' relationship with the internet. On one hand, we are deep into the technological age, where screens and the internet are an integral part of learning and staying connected with others. On the other hand, the online world comes with countless alluring and addictive pitfalls, which conscientious parents hope to help their kids avoid as long as possible.

Of all the elements of the internet that concern parents, social media sits near the top. The worst parts of kid and teen culture—comparison and competition, bullying, self-esteem issues, toxic body image messaging, etc.—are all amplified on social media. Saying no may sound simple enough, but anyone with kids knows they can be master negotiators and it's hard to tell your kids they can't be where all their friends are.

Actor and mom Jennifer Garner has managed to do just that, however, with a simple but effective approach that goes a step beyond just saying no.

Keep ReadingShow less