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Thousands will be in D.C. to stand with women. Here's how to stand with them from home.

Join the movement.

The Women's March on Washington is an opportunity for Americans to stand up against the expected affront to civil rights under the next president. Hundreds of thousands of marchers — women from all walks of life (including a handful of A-list celebrities) and men (yes, men are welcome and encouraged to attend!) — are expected in the nation's capital on Jan. 21, 2017, the day after Donald Trump is inaugurated as 45th president of the United States.

Given that President-elect Trump has "insulted, demonized, and threatened" so many groups — including people of color, immigrants, Muslims, and survivors of sexual assault — the goal of the march is to send a bold message to him: We are standing together.


Anti-Trump demonstrators in Chicago in November 2016. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

Getting to Washington, D.C., on inauguration weekend, however, takes time and money that many of us cannot afford. That's OK, though — there are still several ways you can join the movement, regardless of where you are in the country (or world, for that matter).

Here are 25 ways to show your support for the Women's March on Washington, even if you can't be there in person:

1. Join a smaller, local march near you.

There are 616 (and counting) sister marches around the world demonstrating in smaller — but still powerful — capacities. If distance is your biggest barrier, maybe there's a more local solution to your problem.

2. Make a poster and stick it in your front yard for the day.

Or, you know, until 2020.

Photo by Mark Makela/Getty Images.

3. Know someone who's driving to D.C.? Help them get there by chipping in some gas money.

In most parts of the country, gas prices aren't quite as obscenely high as they once were — thanks, Obama! — but still, fuel is expensive. If you wish you could attend but can't, help another marcher out. $10 (literally) goes a long way.

4. Invite friends over to watch coverage of the march together, and set a goal to help girls and women in 2017.

A goal could be to routinely help out at a women's shelter, volunteer as a clinic escort, or become a Big Sister. There will be many causes that need that kind of extra attention and dedication under the Trump administration.

And on that note...

5. Donate to organizations that will be more vital than ever under a Trump administration.

Contribute to an organization or two you care about — be it Planned Parenthood (the national group or local chapters), Emily's List (which helps get more women elected to office), the NAACP, the National Network of Abortion Funds, Black Girls Code, the ACLU, National Women's Law Center, NARAL, Girls Write Now, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Purple Purse, or others. Every dollar helps.

6.  Wear a "Nasty Woman" shirt, and share a pic on social media.

Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

Make your own — or buy one — and help that infamous-turned-glorious 2016 debate moment live on forever.

7. Go on strike for all (or part of) the day.

Women Strike is encouraging folks to lay low on Jan. 20-21 as an act of protest against the incoming administration and Congress, both of which are aiming to enact policies that disproportionately harm women — like stripping health care and reproductive rights and dismissing paid maternity leave and child care.

8. Make just the right playlist, and blast it on repeat. All. Day. Long.

Songs may or may not include "Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves," "I Am Woman," "You Don't Own Me," "Respect," "Rebel Girl," and an assortment of Beyoncé's greatest hits.

Photo by Express Newspapers/Getty Images.

9. Carve out a half-hour of your day to follow, subscribe to, and learn about women who were inspired to throw their hats into the political ring for the first time after the election.

Not only have women of color made historic gains in the Senate this year, but the rise of Trumpism appears to have inspired a surge in women vying for political office.

People like Chelsea Wilson, a member of the Cherokee Nation who lives in Oklahoma; Brianna Wu, an advocate against online harassment who was at the heart of 2014's GamerGate; and Wendy Carrillo, a Los Angeles woman whose parents brought her from El Salvador illegally as a child, are among the more than 4,500 women who've expressed grassroots interest in getting their names on the ballot in the coming years. Let's make sure they don't go unnoticed.

Speaking of the ballot box...

10. Set up an alert on your calendar to remind you when midterm elections are coming up.

Presidential campaigns feel like years-long sagas with plot twists galore — those elections are hard to miss. Midterms, however, seem to slip under the radar for most Americans, even though the results are just as consequential. Really, 2018 is just around the corner.

11. Call D.C. pizza joints or bakeries — ideally, the day before the march — and have them send a couple pizzas or a few dozen donuts to demonstrators.

Democracy can be a tiring activity, after all, and marchers will appreciate the fuel-up.

Photo via iStock.

12. Call your representatives to let them know you're part of the movement against Trump's attacks on civil rights.

I know you've heard this one a million times. But really, calling your reps can — and actually does — work. (Pro tip: Flooding their phone lines sends a much more powerful message than an email or letter.)

13. Connect two or more people you know who want to go to the march but don't want to go alone.

You may have friends from different circles who'd go to the march if they had another person to share travel expenses and driving time with. Post a Facebook status asking if this is the case with any of your friends, and be the facilitator if anyone responds.

14. If you know someone who's going to the march, create a sign for them to carry on your behalf.

That's what artist Narya Marcille is doing. She can't make it to D.C. on Jan. 21, but her aunts and sister will be carrying this rad poster for her.

Illustration courtesy of Narya Marcille.

Marcille's design has become wildly popular online. You can buy the digital download for prints, shirts, and more on her Etsy page. Even cooler: 50% of profits are being donated to Planned Parenthood and Running Start, Marcille says.

Even if you don't have the money to buy Marcille's design, however...

15. Change your Facebook profile pic in support of the march.

In a post on Facebook, Marcille wrote that anyone can use the illustration for their Facebook profile picture in an act of solidarity with the movement. If you're extra inspired, you can even design your own artwork to use (or take a pic of the yard sign you made or the "Nasty Woman" shirt you're rocking, and use that photo instead).

16. Set aside some time to read and subscribe to digital and print publications that give a voice to women from all walks of life.

Publications like Autostraddle, Clutch, Gloria Steinem's Ms. Magazine — and even ones that have pivoted toward issues-based content more recently, like Teen Vogue and Cosmopolitan — can only run if people are reading and subscribing.

Photo b Paul J. Richards/AFP/Getty Images.

17. Sponsor someone else to march through NARAL.

NARAL, a political group aimed at protecting abortion rights, will let you chip in to help someone else attend the Women's March. $40 pays for one college student's ride to D.C., but if that's too steep, $15 will provide three signs for marchers.

18. Share your own story about sexism and discrimination you've encountered in your life.

Use Jan. 21 as a reason to open up to friends and family online about how you've experienced discrimination or abuse and why the march matters on a personal level. If posting it on Facebook is scary — which is totally understandable — maybe tell just one other person you trust. The more people speak up, the better.

If you do decide to open up on social media, though...

19. Use the #WomensMarch and #WhyIMarch hashtag on Facebook and Twitter.

Sometimes hashtags get a bad rap for being a sorry excuse for real activism. But hashtags really can unite communities in solidarity — especially when they're used to amplify the voices of minorities, immigrants, women, those who are LGBTQ, and so on.

20. Sign up to become a See Jane advocate for the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media.

As Meryl Streep reminded us at the Golden Globes, Hollywood has a responsibility to fight Trumpism. You can help them do it by signing up to be a See Jane advocate for the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media, a group aimed at ending gender bias and discrimination in the entertainment industry. The soon-to-be-launched advocate program encourages supporters to build awareness and expand the institute's mission — because media representation makes an impact off-screen, too.

21. Like and share this incredible video of Rep. Luis Gutierrez explaining why he's going to the march and standing up to Trump.

Why I Will Not Be At Inauguration And Will Be Marching With Women

My speech this morning on the Floor of the House about why I will not be at the inauguration ceremonies on Jan. 20 but will be marching with women at the Women's March on Jan. 21. "We all heard the tape when Donald Trump was bragging – bragging! – about grabbing women by their private parts without their consent. It is something I can never un-hear. Bragging to that guy on TV that he would grab women below the belt as a way of hitting on them. Sorry. That is never OK. It is never just locker room talk. It is offensive and, if he ever actually did it, it is criminal...." The text of my speech: https://bit.ly/2jqSpJ6 More info on the Women's March: https://www.facebook.com/womensmarchonwash/

Posted by Congressman Luis V. Gutierrez on Tuesday, January 10, 2017

22. Buy a Women's March on Washington shirt.

All proceeds go toward the planning and production costs associated with the march itself.

23. If you live in the D.C. area and have a spare bedroom, open it to a frugal marcher.

If your home is in or around the capital and you use a vetted vacation rental website (like Airbnb), consider offering a space for marchers to rest their heads. Accommodation costs in D.C. will be sky-high that weekend — give them a price cut instead of a price surge.

24. Know someone who's anxious about a Trump presidency? Call them up to chat.

Photo via iStock.

This election has been a lot to process for many of us — especially among those in groups that have been targeted by Trump, members of his administration, and his supporters. Call up a friend you know who's worried, and use the march as a talking point to reassure them you'll be a supportive ally when things get tough.

25. Watch and share photos and videos from the march on Facebook, and help break the "filter bubble" that too often divides us.

There should be live video feeds from the march from outlets on Facebook. Make sure to engage and share — especially if you're someone who usually doesn't speak out politically.

If you can express why the march matters to you on a personal level, these issues become more human and less about blue America vs. red America. And the more Likes, comments, and shares we garner, the more we break down the filter bubbles that divide us.

Inauguration Day will bring a stress-filled, anxiety-ridden morning for many of us. If you need that day to unplug, please do.

Because starting on the 21st — and just about every day for the next four years — we'll need you to keep fighting the good fight by our side.

Photo by Thos Robinson/Getty Images for MoveOn.org Political Action.

Movies

Julie Andrews said she literally could "feel the evil" when visiting the Von Trapp house

The story behind the movie might be more interesting than the movie itself.

Image via Wikicommons

Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music

Sometimes the story behind the movie is more interesting than the story in the movie.

In her autobiography, Home Work, Julie Andrews shared some of her experiences filming The Sound of Music. Andrews spoke with BuzzFeed News about her book, revealing her thoughts on the actual von Trapp family house. The movie musical, which is based on a section of the real-life Maria von Trapp's book, The Story of the Trapp Family Singers, was shot in a Hollywood studio.

The classic scene of Julie Andrews spinning in a meadow was shot in Bavaria, and the exteriors of the von Trapp house were filmed at a different house entirely.


- YouTubewww.youtube.com


Andrews did visit the von Trapp house in Salzburg, Austria later on in her life.

"It wasn't until much later that I happened to visit the real villa where they actually lived," she told BuzzFeed News. During her visit, Andrews said she could "feel the evil that once permeated those walls." The evil Andrews refers to is, of course, the Nazis. "Because after they fled the country, which they had to do, as in the film, [Heinrich] Himmler took over that villa, and the atrocities there were just terrible," she continued.

The story behind the von Trapp house is much darker than what's touched on in the splashy Hollywood musical. The actual von Trapp family lived in the house from 1923 until they fled Austria in 1938. In 1938, the Nazis annexed Austria, making life hard for the singing family. Georg von Trapp refused to fly the Nazi flag on his house, and declined a request to sing at Hilter's birthday party. There was fear their neighbors would spy on them and their children would become brainwashed by Nazi politics. Even though the family was offered fame, they decided to stay true to their principals and leave Austria.

Julie Andrews, The Sound of Music, musicals, Germany, World War 2, Nazi Germany, Von TrappChristopher Plummer and Julie Andrews on location in Salzburg, 1964upload.wikimedia.org

Not one year later, the house was occupied by Nazis. Heinrich Himmler used the house as his summer residence until 1945.

Himmler was the second most powerful man of the Third Reich. Himmler set up and ran the Nazi concentration camps. The house was surrounded by armed guards and barbed wires. A barracks for the SS was built in the garden. Himmler also built the white wall around the house using slave labor. After the wall was completed, he had those who constructed the wall shot. Very monstrous.

Now, the von Trapp house is a more peaceful place. In 1947, the property was purchased from the von Trapp family by the Missionaries of the Precious Blood. In 2008, it opened to the public as a hotel.


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

While the house has a heavy history, the previous residents of the property took satisfaction in knowing the von Trapps resisted the Nazi party. "What Himmler did here is a heavy weight on the house," Precious Blood Fr. Andreas Hasenburger, the rector of the Kolleg St. Josef, told the National Catholic Reporter. "But we are also proud to live in the von Trapp house, the house of the man who said no to the Führer."

It takes a lot of guts to stand up for what you believe in, especially when you're pressured to forfeit your integrity. Knowing that the family gave up their life to stay true to their principals makes The Sound of Music so much better.

This article originally appeared five years ago.

Pop Culture

Brit living in the US shares the 8 American sayings she loves to hear folks say

It started a wholesome chain reaction of cultural appreciation.

Two women having a conversation at a coffee shop.

One of the coolest things about living in a world with a variety of cultures is that it can help you have newfound appreciation for things in your everyday life that might otherwise be taken for granted. Your daily breakfast, for example, can transform into the most novel of cuisines when you see it through the eyes of someone who’s never even heard of it.

Similarly, certain everyday American sayings and idioms will seem like fun, exotic phrases to fresh ears. Recently, a British woman (@whisked.away.usa) who recently began living in Michigan shared a few of her personal favorites, and odds are many of these would have never been on your radar.

For starters, her "absolute favorite" is “good job.” Honestly, who among you would have ever thought that was anything USA-centric? Although when you take our hustle culture into consideration, perhaps it is pretty fitting.

Also included in her list: “you’re all set” (again, Americans are big on work lingo), “y’all” (of course), “I’ve got to get a hold of them,” (versus “I’ve gotta get in touch”), “liquor” (because of its “old worldliness”), “stove” (she says “cooker”), “huh” (when we find something interesting), and “have a good one” (cause "it's kinda nice”).


Honestly, how cute are these? And perhaps even better, @whisked.away.usa’s viral video inspired a whole slew of equally lovely appreciation for brit slang.

“I like when Brits say: gutted. I’ve started saying it.”

“I love when you all say ‘brilliant’ like when something’s really good. That’s brilliant!”

“I love when Brits says ‘I’m going on holiday’ instead of ‘I’m going on vacation,’”

“I like the Brit…’Hoover the floor.’”

“I love hearing Brits say ‘em’ instead of ‘um.’ I’m trying to start saying ‘em.’”

This top comment really seems to sum up what was so great about this exchange: “cross appreciation expands our world.”

There was also a fair amount of shared love for “huh,” and all it’s many various uses.

“I love ‘huh’ because it can also be the Midwest polite [version] of ‘that sounds super weird, but I won’t say it out loud.'"

“So many different ways to say ‘huh.’”

Since moving to the US, @whisked.away.usa has shared all kinds of fun cultural differences she’s noticed. For instance, did you know that British pancakes are made quite thin (think: crepes) and have a “squirt of lemon”?

In the following video, @whisked.away.usa shares her amazement at the gaps in American public toilets, “drive-thru everything,” air conditioning in houses, certain OTC medications, and the abundance of American flags in certain places.

No matter where you're from, it seems we can all agree that this type of content is the Internet at its best.

Mark Rober subjected himself to bed bug bites in the name of science.

"Good night! Sleep tight! Don't let the bed bugs bite!" This sing-songy rhyme that has been around for centuries alludes to the fact that bed bugs were prevalent in the past. After a significant decrease post-WWII, however, the sneaky pests have been making a comeback. Since the 1990s, bed bug infestations have risen dramatically, leading people to look for ways to avoid and get rid of the blood-sucking little buggers.

Unfortunately, a lot of the information about how to do that is flat-out wrong. Popular YouTube science communicator Mark Rober invites viewers to forget what we think we know and go on an educational journey with the leading bed bug researchers at Rutgers University's urban entomology lab. Not only did Rober subject himself to bed bug bites on purpose to see what happens when they feed, but he also conducted a series of experiments in the lab to find out what is actually effective at killing them and what is not.

Bed Bugs Belarus GIFGiphy

Bed bugs have a reputation for being nearly impossible to get rid of, which isn't really the case, according to Rober. When you know what works, it's actually a fairly simple process to kill an infestation. And the good news is that it doesn't entail any toxic chemicals—in fact the pest control chemicals sold for bed bugs don't work at all, according to Rober's tests.

In the process of learning about bed bugs, Rober shared a few "super wild" facts about the infamous creatures.

Fact #1: Bed bugs can live 3 to 10 months without feeding.

Eek. No wonder it seems like it's impossible to get rid of them. Starving them doesn't work. They can live in the resting stage for 3 to 6 months, and if the environment is cold enough, they can survive around 300 days, or 10 months, without eating.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Fact #2: Bed bugs don't transmit disease

Some good news here: Unlike blood-sucking mosquitoes, bed bugs don't carry or transmit disease. The bad news on the front is that because they don't pose a disease threat, only an annoyance, there's not a big incentive to fund research to eradicate them.

Fact #3: Bed bugs are attracted to vertical objects

In one of Rober's experiments, he placed a dish with a cylindrical vertical post inside it an a dish without a column, and nearly all of the bed bugs in the enclosure ended up in the dish with the column. "If you think about it, humans sleep at the highest elevation any given room. So their logic is just crawl up any vertical surface you see until you eventually find a warm-blooded meal at the top."

Part of how they find humans is by smell, which is why certain strong-smelling items can act as a deterrent for bed bugs. In Rober's experiment, Bounce dryer sheets, moth balls, baking soda, and essential oils all seemed to repel bed bugs (as opposed to ultrasonic pest repellers, which appeared to have no effect). However, none of those things did anything to kill them.

bed bugs, bed bug infestation, how to spot bed bugsBed bugs are about the size of an apple seed.Photo credit: Canva

Fact #4: Before 1950, one in three homes had bed bugs

Yikes. Even with the resurgence, we're still nowhere near those numbers, thank goodness.

Fact #5: The way bed bugs mate is weird

The term used to describe it is called "traumatic insemination," and really, you should just let Mark Rober explain it with his visual metaphor. Start at minute 11:30.

bug GIFGiphy

Two things work well to kill bed bugs—diatomaceous earth and heat

In testing chemical sprays, foggers, and other items marketed for killing bed bugs, Rober found a "superstar" in a natural, non-toxic substance. Diatomaceous earth—pulverized fossilized remains of tiny aquatic organisms called diatoms—was the most effective at killing the buggers with a 90% mortality rate after 10 days as opposed to 12% with the Hot Shot bed bug spray. Diatomaceous earth is mostly silica, which absorbs moisture, and when the silica dust sticks to the bed bugs as the walk through it, it dehydrates them. A light dusting of diatomaceous earth around all the cracks and crevices of a room is one way to kill off an infestation, though that process can take days.

The other way to kill bed bugs is heat. Steam kills bed bugs, as does heating up a room to over 122 degrees Fahrenheit does the trick. Temps over 122 degrees kills bed bugs instantly, and as Rober points out, there's no way for them to build immunity to this kind of treatment. So steamers and clothes dryers set to high are the average person's best bet for killing off bed bugs if they have them. The "nuclear option" is to have a pro come in with big heaters and cook your home for a day.

checking for bed bugs, bed bug poop, bed bugs in mattressChecking mattresses for signs of bed bugs at a hotel can help you avoid bringing them home.Photo credit: Canva

How do you avoid getting bed bugs in the first place?

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and that's true for bed bugs especially. Avoiding an infestation if there's already one in your apartment building is trickier, but a lot of people inadvertently bring bed bugs home from hotel stays. Checking the underside of a hotel mattress as soon as you come in the room is a good habit to be in. Bed bugs poop a lot, and there will be spots along the edges of the mattress if bed bugs are present.

The other tip is to use the luggage rack to store your suitcase instead of leaving it on the floor or furniture and to hang clothes on the closet hangers instead of putting them into the hotel room's dresser drawers. Some people may even put their suitcase in the bathtub, at least until they've checked the bed for signs of poop.

Nobody wants to deal with bed bugs, but at least now we have clear evidence of what actually works to get rid of them and what doesn't. Cook them with heat/steam and dehydrate them with diatomaceous earth, and take some simple steps when traveling to lessen your chances of getting them in the first place.

Sleep tight, everyone!

Two men chatting over a beer.

Men sometimes get labeled as more likely to keep secrets for selfish, manipulative purposes. But on the other end of the spectrum, men might keep certain things to themselves due to the pressure of gender norms: wanting to hide insecurities to appear strong for their families, hoping to shield their partners from hurt, not feeling safe to show emotion, and so on.

A Reddit user recently asked: “What, if anything, are you unable or unwilling to share fully openly and honestly about yourself with your spouse?” and the answers are a prime example of this.

These long kept secrets—some hilarious, others heartbreaking—are a rare, candid glimpse into exactly what many men feel compelled to keep bottled up inside.

Check them out:

“I keep the ceiling fan on at night because she farts in her sleep and it's so bad it wakes me up.” —JackassWhisperer

"When I go grocery shopping, i often buy a fresh rotisserie chicken thigh for myself, and wolf it down on a parkbench on my way home like a homeless caveman. I have no idea why, but it's my little me-time ritual." —Sternsson

"My self-doubt is something I conceal. I strive to be her rock and revealing my vulnerabilities seems counterproductive." -AdhesivenessGlass978

"When she asks to go out with her girlfriends or away on an overnight with some friends, she thinks I’m upset I’m not included. In reality, I’m praising the lord for a day or two alone." —Bobo_Baggins03x

man, relaxing, spouse, alone, alone timeAlone time.Giphy

"While I love my spouse deeply, I struggle to fully share my childhood traumas. The memories are painful and sometimes I feel like shielding her from that darkness." —Slight_Policy3133

"My child (18 months) is legitimately well behaved, compliant, and enjoyable to be around when she’s not in the home and it’s just he and I. When she’s around he’s combative, whiney, rude, and a little terror." —D00deitstyler

"Deep down, I really just want to be lazy. I don’t want to go to work, or cook that much, or change the bedding every week, or find part time income streams… Like, in my heart, I just want to lounge about, get a bit drunk and read books or watch youtube videos. I do as much as possible so that she’s comfortable and happy but don’t want to admit that I don’t really WANT to do anything useful." —LeutzschAKS

"The sheer amount of stress I'm under. I do share, but I can't articulate how bad it is." —Herald_of_dooom

“Sometimes the things she says to me in arguments break my heart.” —justVinnyZee

argument, couple fighting, spouse, heartbreak, secretHarsh words create distance. Image via Canva

"I served in Iraq and lost my leg. As a result I have severe PTSD…A couple of years after I got out I met my wife. She is an Iraqi Lady and has helped me through the best and worst times. She's given me beautiful children and a reason to carry on. However…her parents moved from Iraq before she was born. Every time I go to her parents house or there is a wedding on her side of the family I attend whilst suffering in silence. Sweaty palms, heart palpitations, shredding feeling where my leg was etc. It drove me to be extremely disrespectful by secretly carrying a hip flask with spirits and cocaine in as it just took the edge off and made it all manageable. Her parents are extremely religious and alcohol and drugs of any kind are heavily frowned upon and banned from the house. The worst is going to her parents house as so much of the decorations reminds me of the house I got dragged into after stepping on an IED. I keep this hidden because what can I do? Make her choose between family and me? Absolutely not. Prevent my kids from having grandparents and extended family? Absolutely not. My mental health and my foolish decisions at 16 are not going to be any form of potential wedge." —Greenlid_42

"That I sometimes buy $20 scratchers when I do the shopping and occasionally throw $60 at large Powerball/MegaMillions jackpots even tho I publicly say 'lotteries are a tax on people who are bad at math.' I do this because I like to dream of a day we don’t have to work and we can follow our passions." —wembley

"The fact that she wont let me put any of my hobby stuff (mostly miniatures and random knickknacks) in our shared spaces without it being in an approved location, meanwhile the entire house is her canvas for her aesthetic. Makes me feel really lonely and small sometimes and like she doesn't care. It's been a topic of conversation, she just doesn't get that delegating me a tiny shelf in her curio isn't the same as letting me actually decorate some." —Kimblethedwarf

“That she is bad at taking criticism, even about the most minor of things. And even saying so is itself a form of criticism she cannot handle. And this has very much hindered our ability to talk to each other.” —Aechzen

"I keep my regrets from her. I worry she’ll think less of me if she knew all my past mistakes." —Suspicious-Factor362

“Literally anything that isn't within the realm of her personal interests. Otherwise, she makes it clear that she's not really interested in what interests me. Sometimes I do, because I can't keep everything to myself forever, but it just feels like I'm a child bothering their parents talking about how cool their toys are.” —ChefBillyGoat

man, lonely, alone, communication, spouse, secretsFeeling lonely in a shared home. Image via Canva.

“I’m scared of not being able to provide a half decent life for her and my kids. Life’s getting so expensive and challenging.” —Arent_they_all

"Sometimes, the food she cooks isn't great. I will never tell her this because she goes out of her way to cook, and I'm not ungrateful. I can live with bad food that night over her getting upset." —CaptainAwesome0912

"That if I speak to her the same way she speaks to me she would probably spend her whole day in tears. It’s definitely a case of “familiarity breeds contempt” as she does not speak to any of her friends like this (who come over to help with furniture moving, for example), and occasionally it comes out with her family, but the unfettered torrent of complaints and abuse is reserved only for me, regardless of what I do. It’s like she looks for imperfections and mistakes just to point them out." —MusicusTitanicus

“How sad I am that my life isn't a grand adventure but a series of choices i made in order to be able to form and provide for a family…I know there's adventure and excitement to be had still, but I wanted to continue my family line. And dearly love my family. Anything available in that vein will come at cost to my wife and children. So I'm stuck playing rise through the ranks, build the better mouse trap and look good to the suites for another raise or step up the ladder. It's going well, but as it goes well it feels more hollow. I could become head honcho, or start my own enterprise and find massive success, it'd still all been to just provide. Collecting wealth is such a boring pursuit, I hate our society.” —BodyRevolutionary167

wealth, work, corporate, working, gaining wealth, statusBored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"I let the kids play Roblox beyond their allowed time." —chelhydra

"She's always in the way. If she's in the kitchen when I'm cooking, she's always standing in front of the next place I need to be. If I'm working outside, she's always in the next place I'm going to go. If I'm fixing something, she's always standing right in front of whatever I'm going to be working on next. If I'm trying to leave a room, she's always in the doorway. I realize she wants to spend time with me, but I really wish she'd just get out of the way when I'm doing something." —Lonecoon

"That when I’m not with her, I put ketchup on my hot dogs." —bipolarcyclops

The secrets shared here range from benign to heavy, silly to heartbreaking. Though it may be hard, studies do show that open, honest communication is vital to building a healthy relationship or marriage. In her 2021 TEDxTalk, award-winning communication strategist Sandy Gerber broke down how open, honest communication can lead to successful romantic relationships without secrets. Watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com


This article originally appeared last year.

Parenting

Mom's adorable 1993 baby picture is a modern pediatrician's worst nightmare

Our parents were really doing their best with the information they had.

Canva Photos

Blanket, pillows, and toys in cribs used to be totally normal back in 1993.

I love learning about common parenting techniques from generations past. We've probably all heard some of the classics, like giving baby a tiny bit of alcohol to get him to sleep, or rubbing whiskey on sore gums to soothe a teething infant. (Upon reflection, it seems that a lot of parenting hacks back in the day boiled down to giving children liquor). These weren't hush-hush under the table tactics. Doctors frequently recommended these things to new parents. Now, of course, we're horrified at the thought and we know the significant risks of alcohol exposure both in the womb and out of it.

Crib set ups are similar. Decades ago, parents were hyper-worried about baby's limbs getting caught in the crib bars, so the solution was to line cribs with thick, soft bumpers. Inside the cribs, pillows and blankets kept baby comfortable and from rolling around too much. It made sense! At the time at least. But, wow, have times changed.

One mom is going viral for posting a fascinating side by side. Her as a baby in 1993, sleeping peacefully in a crib, versus her daughter in 2025.


babies, parenting, motherhood, fatherhood, pediatricians, newborn safety, SIDSThis was basically parenting in the 1960sGiphy

The comparison is definitely illuminating.

In 1993, there's millennial mom Alanna Clark, sleeping comfortably on her back in her pajamas. She's surrounded by a cocoon of comfort. The key thing to note is the fluffy crib bumpers to keep her from reaching through the bars. Bumpers were meant to add decoration and comfort to a baby's crib while also keeping them from getting injured by the bars. This was especially true back when drop-cribs, or cribs where one wall could drop down, were popular. The American Academy of Pediatrics officially began recommending parents never use crib bumpers in 2011 due to their being a suffocation risk highly associated with SIDS.

The photo of Clark's daughter from 2025 is striking. Her crib is completely empty! She's sleeping on her back with a fitted sheet on the mattress and a snugly-fitted sleepsack containing her legs. That's it. There are no bumpers, toys, pillows, or blankets according to the latest pediatrician guidelines.

As a bonus, Clark shared a picture of herself riding in a (rather flimsy looking) front-facing car seat while her daughter in 2025 rides in a rear-facing "tank," as she calls it, which fits current standards.

Clark's caption captured a beautiful sentiment about the "outdated" standards. Instead of judging her parents for dangerous choices, she understands that they were doing their absolute best with the information they had at the time:

"When I explained modern sleep practices to my dad, he explained to me that the bumpers were to keep me safe from breaking an arm or a leg. I’m glad that when my family talks about the 'new' way of doing things we focus on how much more information we have to keep babies safe. Anyways, enjoy these little snippets of me as a baby with my parents doing what they were told was best. I wonder what practices will be outdated when I’m a grandma one day"

See the fascinating photos here.


tiktok, babies, 1993, 2025 , parentingTikTok · Alanna | First Time Mom 🇨🇦www.tiktok.com

Clark's post went viral and commenters were so appreciative of how infant safety standards have improved. They were also grateful to previous generations for trying their best:

"yep, and hopefully our kids have even better info and technology when they raise their children."

"Doing their best back then, so we can keep doing better today!!"

"I love your take on this rather than bashing practices of the time which genuinely were what they thought was best"

"It's reassuring knowing that our kids will look at their baby pictures in the future like 'We're you trying to kill me?' and proceed to do differently, as will be best practice then"

"I was trying to explain to someone the other day that our kids are going to say they can’t believe our recommendations were legal it will have changed so much"

Others shared some of their favorite parenting methods from their own parents and grandparents. One commenter wrote that her grandma would put her babies in dresser drawers to keep them safe. Another said her grandpa "didn't believe" in car seats! Somehow, they both lived to tell the tale.

Are there things we're doing with our babies now that will one day be viewed as Hard Nos?


babies, parents, moms, dads, infants, newborns, safety, infant safety, parentingThis baby has nothing in his pack 'n play at all. Well done parents! Photo by Alex Bodini on Unsplash

Again, you have to remember that doctors, pediatricians, and fellow parents were all telling the older generations that this stuff was not just OK, but highly recommended. They really believed those death-trap crib bumpers were safe! You can't help but wonder what kinds of things parents today take for granted as safe, that our kids will look back on one day as reckless and dangerous when it's studied further.

"I'm 100% convinced that 'cry it out' will be the thing that future generations are appalled by," one commenter opined, referring to a controversial method of sleep training infants.

Another user joked that in a few decades, babies will sleep levitating in mid-air via magnets to avoid contact with potential hazards.

Me, I think it's likely that the next generation of parents will be appalled that they were ever allowed to watch cartoons or use a screen, as more research into screentime begins to take shape. I also wouldn't be surprised if pediatricians decide we can't be trusted to make our own baby food at home anymore. But these are just guesses. We won't really know until the science rolls in.

Overall, there's a powerful message here for parents and even those grandparents who might insist on being defensive about the older ways:

"What some grandparents don’t understand is that following modern standards is NOT a condemnation of their parenting," one commenter wrote. "They did what was best according to contemporary standards too." That's all any of us can do.