This woman destroys a wedding cake — and makes a point about sexual assault.

A PSA by the It's On Us campaign demonstrates just how absurd it is to blame survivors of sexual assault for their violators’ actions.

In the video, an admiring hotel guest wanders by a wedding cake — “It looks so delicious," she observes — before taking a huge handful of cake without asking the baker for permission. When the baker reacts, aghast, she blames him for making such a great looking cake.

"You were the one that made it so tempting," she tells him. "Tahitian vanilla icing and pretty little flowers? It's like you were begging me to taste it."


If that language sounds familiar, that's because it's something we hear all too often when talking about survivors of sexual assault. How was she dressed? Did she consume alcohol? Why wasn't she aware of her surroundings? Questions like these excuse violators and put blame on victims, adding to the stigma that can discourage survivors from speaking up.

It's On Us launched the PSA on the 23rd anniversary of the Violence Against Women Act. Written by then-senator Joe Biden, VAWA established a national hotline for victims to call, as well as greatly expanded the number of services and shelters available to survivors nationwide.

While the PSA is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, its message is a serious one. Victim-blaming prevents many victims of sexual assault from speaking out.

We have to do better.

In September, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos announced her department was rescinding Obama-era guidelines on sexual assault, giving more leniency to accused violators. Advocates against sexual assault argue the move shows the administration isn't prioritizing campus rape and sexual assault.

"[This] announcement is a threat to the progress we’ve made and to the rights of every student on campuses across the country," It's On Us said in a statement. "It’s On Us campaign remains committed to fight for the full enforcement of Title IX and for the rights and protections of every student and every survivor."

To get involved, visit the It's On Us website. If you need help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673.

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If the past year has taught us nothing else, it's that sending love out into the world through selfless acts of kindness can have a positive ripple effect on people and communities. People all over the United States seemed to have gotten the message — 71% of those surveyed by the World Giving Index helped a stranger in need in 2020. A nonprofit survey found 90% helped others by running errands, calling, texting and sending care packages. Many people needed a boost last year in one way or another and obliging good neighbors heeded the call over and over again — and continue to make a positive impact through their actions in this new year.

Upworthy and P&G Good Everyday wanted to help keep kindness going strong, so they partnered up to create the Lead with Love Fund. The fund awards do-gooders in communities around the country with grants to help them continue on with their unique missions. Hundreds of nominations came pouring in and five winners were selected based on three criteria: the impact of action, uniqueness, and "Upworthy-ness" of their story.

Here's a look at the five winners:

Edith Ornelas, co-creator of Mariposas Collective in Memphis, Tenn.

Edith Ornelas has a deep-rooted connection to the asylum-seeking immigrant families she brings food and supplies to families in Memphis, Tenn. She was born in Jalisco, Mexico, and immigrated to the United States when she was 7 years old with her parents and sister. Edith grew up in Chicago, then moved to Memphis in 2016, where she quickly realized how few community programs existed for immigrants. Two years later, she helped create Mariposas Collective, which initially aimed to help families who had just been released from detention centers and were seeking asylum. The collective started out small but has since grown to approximately 400 volunteers.