20-year-old Noa Jansma, like many women, can barely leave the house without catching a lecherous stare, a whistle, or a vulgar pickup attempt.
"Catcalling," as its known, is a well documented phenomenon. In 2014, a viral video showed a woman walking the streets of New York for a day and getting harassed by countless men, sparking widespread discussion and opening a lot of eyes to the epidemic.
Three years later, though, the problem persists while most advice for women still centers around various ways to ignore the offenders.
Jansma decided to try a new tactic to deal with her harrassers: She posed for selfies with them.
#dearcatcallers "I know what I would do with you, baby"
A post shared by dearcatcallers (@dearcatcallers) on
The experiment, called "Dear Cat Callers," lasted a month.
When she was stopped on the street, Jansma asked the men to pose for a photo with her. Most happily obliged.
She even included snippets of what they said to her.
A post shared by dearcatcallers (@dearcatcallers) on
Why "Dear Catcallers"? To send them a message.
"It's not a compliment," her Instagram profile reads.
#dearcatcallers "weheeee horny girl"
A post shared by dearcatcallers (@dearcatcallers) on
The selfies, she writes, don't only help bring awareness to the problem (and the creeps behind it) — they reverse the power dynamic and put her back in control.
Take special note of her stoic, fearless expression in most of the photos — despite many of the men asking her to "smile" or putting their arm around her. Some are totally oblivious to her anger.
The project may be a dangerous one, but Jansma appears to be quite comfortable with sharing the frame of a photograph with her harassers.
Nog een keer #dearcatcallers *psssssst, kissing sounds and whistling"
A post shared by dearcatcallers (@dearcatcallers) on
The photos also put a face to the gross and frightening behavior.
#dearcatcallers "hmmmm you wanna kiss?"
A post shared by dearcatcallers (@dearcatcallers) on
Catcalling isn't just an annoyance. It's legitimately harmful to women (and people of all other genders, too).
The emotional toll of being constantly terrorized by strangers on the street can't be overstated. Catcalling also rightfully fosters more anger and suspicion toward men in general.
In some places — including Amsterdam, Canada, and areas in the United States — street harassment is even illegal. But it's tricky to enforce, and rolling out bans on this type of behavior will take quite some time.
A post shared by dearcatcallers (@dearcatcallers) on
The response to Jansma's project has been astronomical, with her account gaining over 100,000 followers in a month.
That Jansma could collect so many photos and stories in such a short time is alarming. That thousands and thousands of women across the world can easily relate to her experience is even worse.
#dearcatcallers This is both brave and brilliant.— NonEvent (@NonEvent) 1507300590.0
One stranger rolled his window down and called me over to his car re: 'directions', then pulled out his penis. I was 11. #dearcatcallers.— Tara Moss (@Tara Moss) 1507262951.0
I can't wait until it's cold so that when I'm bearing my shoulders in a tank top men stop taking it as a sexual advance... #dearcatcallers— Tayyy (@Tayyy) 1507314640.0
Now that the initial project is over, she hopes to hand off the account to women in other countries so they can share their own photos.
Every woman who stands up to her harassers will be taking a risk, but campaigns like Jansma's help make more people (men, specifically) aware of and disgusted by the problem. The more that happens, the more likely it is that catcallers become the ones who feel uncomfortable being out in public.
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.