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“A balm for the soul”
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A woman learns a harsh truth about her friends.

A significant part of adulthood is realizing that many uncomfortable truths are indeed real, even if we wish they weren’t. At first, these harsh truths may dampen our spirits and make us feel that the world is a bit colder.

However, understanding some of life's hard lessons opens us up to greater possibilities and can help us overcome the obstacles holding us back.

Harsh truths help us realize when relationships aren’t as great as they can be. They also prevent us from having too much faith in people and institutions that will ultimately disappoint us. Knowing dark truths can also help us appreciate the things that are truly beautiful, honest and good.

A Redditor named Rare_Can_5418 asked the AskReddit forum, “What difficult truths, the sooner you accept them, the better your life will be?” and received over 6,500 responses. Many of them were centered around harsh truths about relationships and the fact that even if we do our best in life, we can still end up with the short end of the stick.




The key is to keep going and never let failure get you down.

Here are 15 of the “difficult truths” that made people’s lives a lot better.

1. Stop comparing yourself

"There will always be someone better looking, better educated, younger, more experienced, more intelligent or wealthier than you. Do your best, live without regret, have empathy and kindness, give when you can, expecting nothing in return. Focus on your heart value more than what others have."

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

2. Some people won't like you

"You can be sweetest, juiciest peach on the tree. But some people don't like peaches."

"In Spanish, there's a saying: 'Nadie es moneda de oro para que lo quiera todo el mundo,' which translates to something like nobody is a gold coin to be liked/wanted by everyone else."

3. Things are just things

"They don’t have feelings. They don’t care if you give them away or sell them or throw them out. If a thing is useful, keep it. If not, get rid of it."

Psychologists refer to perceiving that inanimate objects have feelings as anthropomorphizing. Psych Central says that humans project feelings onto objects to relate to them more deeply. "People generally anthropomorphize to make sense of events and behaviors they experience. Further, attributing emotions, attitudes, mental states, faces, and values to non-human things can help you feel connected to something," Sarah Barkley writes in a PhD-reviewed article.



4. Not all friendships last

"Surprisingly though, the ones that last are not necessarily the best (or even good) ones."

"Most friendships are based on convenience, I've found. Unless two people are willing to put in a lot of effort, time and distance will do more to end a friendship than any disagreement."

5. You may be the bad guy

"You can do your best with someone and still be the villain in their story."

"One of my current favourite memes is: I don't care if I'm the villain in your story, you're the clown in mine."

6. You can't change people

"You can only help people who actually want it. If they’re not ready to change or put in the effort, there’s not much you can do. Realizing this can save you a lot of frustration and help you focus on people who actually appreciate your help."

"It’s always tough having those friends who are constantly complaining but doing nothing to address what they are complaining about. But as an adult, you just have to sit there and listen. No point in offering help to someone who isn’t asking for it. Kinda like how it’s really tough to teach someone who isn’t interested in being taught."

7. How we judge

"We judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions."

"In psychology, this is called fundamental attribution error."

The Fundamental Attribution Error is a psychological phenomenon where we assume someone's actions reflect their personality without considering the situation. It's like when we blame someone's driving skills for being in an accident instead of the curvy road.



8. Depending on people

"Once you're an adult, there really isn't anyone you can 100% depend on except yourself. There will still be people in your life to lean on, but everyone has their limits in how they can help you."

9. Nice doesn't equal good

"Nice people aren't always good people."

"One of my bosses doesn't greet/make small talk and is known for being quite firm. He's been the most helpful throughout my most difficult period dealing with tragedy. Some people with that personality type simply get things done when you need them done without the chattering."

10. Everything is temporary

"You can suddenly lose anything and anyone at any time...and maybe all at once or in quick succession without so much warning."

11. Nobody is thinking about you

"In general, people in the real world are oblivious to you. You're not even a blip on their radar. If you're insecure about something you wear or how you look, remember: nobody cares."



12. No one is coming to save you

"No one is coming to save you, so you have to do it all yourself."

"And once you internalize this and do it, your self-esteem will be through the roof."

13. Nobody knows what they're doing

"Before i graduated high school I thought, thank god, I finally won’t have to deal with annoying obnoxious kids and I’ll be treated like an adult, I come to find out 95% of adults are worse then the actual kids, nobody knows what they’re actually doing and life is actually a big joke."

14. Love is reciprocal

"If a romantic interest is not giving you the same attention/respect you give them, they don't really care about or want you, and you're in for a world of hurt if you keep telling yourself otherwise."

15. Who's good for you?

"People who are good for you will make you feel happy, joyful, accepted, cared for, and filled with fun times, despite any differences. People who are not good for you will make you feel anxious, sad, down, slighted, judged, and never check in on you if you're not okay, and won't even bother noticing when you're not okay. Genuine people will never let you suffer in silence or watch you suffer. Stay away from those who make you feel negative emotions and thoughts."

via Pexels

An office worker can't handle his coworkers' gossip.

When someone says “get a life,” it’s usually a pejorative comment telling someone that they need to become more successful or build something for themselves. But in some circumstances, it’s a totally warranted reminder that someone needs to get their nose out of other people’s business and focus on themselves for a change.

A viral thread on Reddit that received over 14,000 responses asked the online community, “What Screams ‘I Have No Life’?” and it was a rebuke of the people whose pettiness makes our lives unbearable.

Hopefully, a few people read the thread and decided to make some changes in their lives.


One of the major targets in the thread are the annoying coworkers who love to gossip and talk smack about fellow office mates behind their backs. There are few things worse than going out to lunch with coworkers and the only conversation they have is about the people who aren’t there.

As the old saying goes, small minds talk about people, medium minds talk about events and big minds talk about ideas.

The thread also calls out those who feel the need to air all of their dirty laundry on social media to get attention. It also mentions those who waste their time picking fights with total strangers, or worse, people they know on Facebook.

Finally, another group that got a lot of attention is those who are super judgmental, whether that means having a problem with other people’s hobbies or being overly invested in how they live their lives. If they’re not hurting anyone, why is it your concern?

The thread was an excellent reminder for us to be aware of the people in our lives who cause drama by acting like mean girls long after their high school expiration date.

Here are 21 of the best responses to “What Screams ‘I Have No Life’?”

1.

"Only ever talking badly about other people. Had some coworkers like this once and being around them 8 hours a day was f**king DRAINING." — SomeOtherThirdThing

Ruralist added:

"My coworkers are like this. The gossip begins even before they've clocked in. I've stopped talking to them about anything except what's necessary for work."

2.

"The guy in my office who monitors how long everyone has been away from their computer." — No-Review-2307

3.

"Calling cops on kids with a lemonade stand." — SuvenPan

4.

"Posting everything about your personal business and drama on social media." — UseYona

Sohcgt96 added:

"You know what is just the f**king worst? Vague, dramatic posts that clearly exist to bait people to ask what's wrong or what you're talking about."


​5.

"As a parent with kids in school, definitely the Facebook Moms group." — Mean_Manufacturer_61

R0ttenbeauty added:

"Those Facebook mom groups are the worst! Nothing but drama and bashing on one another. Well, at least the one I used to be in."

6.

"Being a 'mean girl' ever but especially past high school." — bxbykayxxx

7.

"People who spend their days arguing with strangers on Facebook." — This-Wafer-841

8.

"Spending almost every day bugging and harassing others for choices they made that's not hurting them or anyone else, like damn, do they not have places to be elsewhere?" — ThanosWifeAkima-4848

9.

"Being way too invested into the life of reality TV stars." — oaracanthurusdory

Kwebber added:

"I'd also throw in Youtuber/streamer influencer in general to this as well."

10.

"Tracking someone on their phone, real story, my husband was sick one day and both his sister and mom started tracking his phone, started texting early Monday morning wondering why he was still at home." — LivntheDream430

ExCoCThrowaway added:

"My husband's family added me to their Apple family when we got married. Until about a month ago I had no idea they were using it to track me. I turned it off when I realized it and got a call from my sister-in-law asking me why I turned it off. Turns out they were calling my husband and telling him my every move. He didn’t care and told them it was my business but no one ever told me. Had to figure it out on my own. Sometimes I hate technology."

11.

"Making fun of other people's hobbies." — CLbandit38

12.

"Y'know I want to talk about the exact opposite of this: What screams 'I'm living life the way it's intended to'?

Well, I have a buddy who I think is a pretty great person. He never gets into any drama, always does what he has to do on time, and plays the games he enjoys in his spare time. Life throws shit at him sometimes, but he just deals with it and continues to just do whatever he does like nothing happened.

He just lives life, and as a result, he is able to extract a good amount of happiness from it. He says he is just happy. He has defined himself as a simple man, and I think that's how life should be lived. Like, just live your life, dude. For him, is just that simple." — GLnoG

13.

"All you talk about is your job." — Antique_Sense_7383

14.

"Working tons of hours and bragging about it. People at my job do this and it's pathetic." — spectreenjoyer

15.

"Your whole identity is your beard." — ReasonTraditional882

16.

"Being involved with a homeowners association." — chhrispybobispy

17.

"Talking and thinking about the gym 24/7." — AshamedRadish153

18.

"Having a loud vehicle. No one is impressed." — The-Plot-Twist13

19.

"You have literally nothing to talk about outside of your children or being a parent." — Oneofyrfencegrls

Notforthisworld0101 responded:

"It's possible to have a personality outside of being a parent."

Is it manly enough to cradle a puppy?

Okay, we’ve come a long way in terms of rethinking gender norms.

Fashion is less rigidly conforming (you’ve seen the man who rocks pencil skirts and stilettos, right?). More men are flourishing in jobs traditionally performed by women. And perhaps most importantly, there is a growing number of male support groups that encourage heartfelt communication and emotional well-being.

But suffice it to say, there still remain quite a few incredibly outdated belief systems when it comes to how we define masculinity.

Case in point, a recent Reddit thread sparked by the question:

“Men of Reddit, what was the most ridiculous reason why someone questioned your masculinity?”

Some of these answers are indeed head scratchers. Others are flat-out offensive.

Here are 10 of the most egregious accounts:


1. Reading

men who readPhoto by Dollar Gill on Unsplash

I was reading a book on my lunch break while I was working construction, and got a bunch of sh*t about reading being for women.” – Middle-Eye2129

Went from women not being allowed to read to reading being only for women... what a world.” – Comprehensive-Ad4566

2. Practicing the most basic of safety measures

men of redditGiphy

One person wrote that their masculinity was questioned for “wearing gloves while welding.”

Because having all fingers intact makes you less of a man? Um … what?

Wear your gloves and fasten your safety belts, gentlemen. It’s okay. I'm pretty sure The Rock does.

3. Not eating the right foods

gender fluidGiphy

Had a friend give another friend shit because he wanted to eat a corn dog. He said grown ass men don’t eat corn dogs. Any man should understand.” – mondayortampa

It’s not just because of the distinct shape of certain foods garnering the “unmanly” label, either. See below:

My dad got sh*t from a guy he was working with because he was eating a plain bagel with butter on it and drinking chocolate milk because the guy said it’s childish. Dad never cared and just laughed at the guy for being an idiot. Who wouldn’t like that combo? It’s a great thing to eat!” – WhatsUpFishes

“My husband bought some of our homegrown raspberries into work to share and a guy he works with said they were ‘girl food.’ It must be so exhausting to have to gender your food.” – Pepperfig_clover

4. Or drinking the right drinks

gender normsPhoto by Atikh Bana on Unsplash

Went to a Mexican restaurant and we waited at the bar before we could get a table. This place has awesome strawberry blended margaritas so I got one. Apparently lime = straight, strawberry = gay.” – Thirty_Helens_Agree

5. Appreciating cleanliness

men doing female choresGiphy

“I've had both women I just started dating, and male acquaintances who have thought my clean apartment was an indication I was gay.” – NorCalDustin

6. Using pink … anything

men wearing pinkwww.publicdomainpictures.net

At work I gave a guy a report and it had a pink paperclip on it.

He asked me why I gave him a pink paperclip. I told him I just grabbed one. He then asked why I had a pink paperclip - I told him I had a rainbow pack.

Then he wanted to know why, when I saw it was pink, I didn't throw it away. He told me I shouldn't use pink paperclips [because] ‘people might have questions.’” – Everyday_Im_Stedelen

About 30 years ago, they came out with neon string lines. As I work construction, I am constantly using string to ensure things are straight. By far, the brightest of the strings was a pink one.

So, I was constantly chided by the crew for having a pink string. This only happened until it started getting closer to dusk, at which point they all wanted to borrow my string.” – Dioscouri

7. Not applying deodorant in a ‘manly way’

patriarchyGiphy

Somebody once told me I wasn't applying deodorant manly enough.” – PearSB

How do you apply deodorant in a manly manner?” – The_One_True_Disease

You set fire to the can and let it explode behind you as you look epically to the camera.” – Astrophobia42

8. Being kind

rethinking masculinitycommons.wikimedia.org

Got accused of being gay for being nice to people in the dive bar I go to... I guess it's not masculine to be nice to people.” – pgh613

9. Having daughters

dads and daughtersPhoto by Bermix Studio on Unsplash

When I was pregnant, with a girl, someone said to me, in front of my husband, ‘a real man would’ve given you a boy.’” – badmamathree

Someone should have said that to Henry VIII.” – BaldingMonk

Why do you think there was a protestant movement?” – ArthurBonesly

10. Allowing a woman to do manly things

toxic masculinityGiphy

I was taking a break from driving a forklift and a woman asked if she could drive it (she was qualified to drive it so this wasn't just a random question from a random person.) I agreed and this one guy got so offended that I let a woman take over driving the forklift from me. This was back when ‘mancard’ was a thing so he of course said I needed to turn in my mancard for that.

Unsurprisingly, it turns out this guy got offended at all kinds of things all the time though. If he thought someone wasn't doing something the "right" way, he would rant and whine about it.” – BrickFlock

Clearly, we still have some ways to go on this subject.

Photo by Sean Benesh on Unsplash

Some facts are only useful for trivia contests.

Ah, useless facts. Random knowledge that serves no purpose other than to take up space in our brains, and maybe, just maybe, win a trivia game (yeah right) or kill time at a party (I’ve forgotten, what’s a party?).

Leave it to Ask Reddit to resurface all things odd and amusing, though. People shared their own useless facts that live rent free in their heads. And though they might be pointless, they are certainly entertaining.

Without further do:


  Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

Yep, this useless fact has stayed with us since elementary school On the bright side, it’s been the source of many a fun meme.

Vending machines are more deadly than sharks.

animation domination lol GIF by gifnewsGiphy

Think about this next time you go to retrieve a Snickers bar: Between 2002 and 2015, the National Electronic Surveillance System reported that vending machines caused four deaths per year in the U.S. Mostly due to people tipping the machines onto themselves.

Compare that to the shark-related deaths averaging out to just 0.6 deaths per year. Not sure how only about half of a person is considered dead, but math was never my strength.

This statistic might need to be taken with a grain of sea salt however, given that those in landlocked states have next-to-zero chances of experiencing a shark attack. But there you have it, a useless fact to use when you’re at the beach.

Snails have teeth.

horror finger GIF by absurdnoiseGiphy

“They’re not big enough teeth to hurt humans. That’s what makes it a useless fact to know. & it won’t leave my head because it’s juuuuuust disturbing enough to make me rethink my entire opinion on snails.” – ghosts-go-boo

But cows do not.

At least, no upper front teeth. Makes chewing—and dentist visits—easier I suppose.

The Sun is about 400 times bigger than the Moon but also about 400 times farther away from Earth. So they look to be about the same size.

File:Solar eclipse 1999 4.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

This explains how the sun can be completely blocked in an eclipse.

Pigeons and doves are in the same bird family.

Happy Animation GIF by sahlooterGiphy

Columbidae is a subspecies of birds that are stout bodied, with short necks, and primarily feed on seeds, fruits and plants. Though one lives on as a symbol of peace and love, and the other is often considered a flying rat, the names are practically interchangeable.

However, thinking about Stevie Nicks singing, “just like a white-winged pigeon” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

The length of a jiffy…

back to the future great scott GIFGiphy

According to ScienceFocus.com, physicists use a “jiffy” to define how long light takes to travel one femtometer (which is a tiny fraction of a millimeter). In layman’s terms, one jiffy equals one-fiftieth of a second.

So next time you say, “be back in a jiffy,” know that you better return really, really, really fast.

Most corn is inedible for humans.

corn on teal surfacePhoto by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

1% of the corn grown in the USA is sweet corn (the corn you eat as corn). The other 99% is field corn (or dent corn), which is fairly inedible raw and needs to be processed before human consumption. This field corn is also what they use for non-edible corn products, like ethanol, paint, cosmetics, etc. Yes, most corn goes to livestock feed. Ethanol and High Fructose Corn Syrup are up there as well. Yes, if you're driving on a highway and are passing fields of corn, you very likely cannot eat it.” – Kat_lbltko1pl

Infants have flexible bones.

stretching GIF by AFV BabiesGiphy

Ever wonder why toddlers seem so much more flexible? This is because a baby’s skeleton if very different from an adult's. Babies are born with about 300 bones (94 more than adults) that are joined together with pliable cartilage to make that whole birth thing possible. As they get older, the bones will fuse together. And suddenly that toe touch is nothing but a distant dream of the past.

Numbers from 1-999 don't have the letter "a" in word form.

white printing paper with numbersPhoto by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Some vowels just don’t get the respect they deserve.

John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald are both known by three names. And each full name is composed of 15 letters.

surprised season 4 GIFGiphy

Actually, this is not entirely correct. Oswald’s full name was not used until after Kennedy’s assassination, due to his habit of adopting false names.

Cockroaches molt.

Unlike a reptile shedding it’s skin, cockroaches molt out of their entire exoskeleton. Out crawls a soft, fleshy, ghostly-white creature that will turn brown over a few hours. You’re welcome for the nightmare fuel.

There you have it. Gems of wisdom no one asked for. They say knowledge is power. But in this case, I’d say knowledge is unnecessary. But still fun!