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The "worst rap cliche" actually makes a ton of sense when you learn about its history.

If I were to put you on the spot, right now, and force you to perform a freestyle rap, how would it go? If you're like 99% of the people on the planet who aren't naturally gifted in lyrical storytelling, you'd probably say something like, "My name is Mike and I'm here to say..." to get you off and running, and then your brain would scramble for something easy to rhyme with "say." Probably doing something in a "major way," right?

It's the first thought that comes into almost all of our heads, and it's a heavily used trope on sitcoms and in film. It's deeply embedded in pop culture lore, so much so that we've all absorbed the rhythm and cadence of the rhyme practically by osmosis—even kids who weren't even born during the early hip-hop of the 70s and 80s know it! But where the heck does it actually come from? Certainly, not a lot of real rappers use the line; not anymore. I heard it used on an episode of one of my favorite sitcoms the other night and got to wondering about its origin. I'm always fascinated by our sort of shared consciousness, how we "all" seem to intuitively know and understand things without ever understanding why—so I decided to do some digging.

When it comes to "My name is...and I'm here to say," one of the earliest known uses of the phrase came from, wait for it...a Chiquita Banana commercial created in the 1940s.

The specific line in question, sung by a sultry and unnecessarily-sexy cartoon banana in a low cut dress, goes like this:

"I'm Chiquita Banana and I've come to say / Bananas have to ripen in a certain way / When they're flecked with brown and have a golden hue / Bananas taste the best and are the best for you."

The commercial became iconic (the YouTube clip below, for example, has over three million views) and a staple moment in pop culture. If you can believe it, at that time bananas were relatively new to Americans. The fruit had been around for decades but different distributors and producers jockeying for position had kept it from really reaching the mainstream. The song was catchy as all get out and also helped Americans understand how to store, eat, and use this new exotic fruit; it was a reintroduction of sorts. Chiquita also desperately needed some positive press after the horrific Banana Massacre in 1928.

It's one of the most famous commercial jingles of all time.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

In 1988, Barney Rubble took a page out of Chiquita Banana's playbook and helped further cement the catchy rhyme into the zeitgeist.

If you don't remember the Fruity Pebbles commercials of the 80s and 90s, most of them feature Barney Rubble trying to trick or distract Fred Flintstone in order to steal his cereal. In this clip, Barney pretends to be a rapper, allowing him to (nearly) swipe the Fruity Pebbles while Fred is busy dancing to the beat.

"I'm the Master Rapper and I'm here to say / I love Fruity Pebbles in a major way ... But to get that fruity taste / I've gotta trick Fred"

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Those are two of the earliest iterations of the rhyming intro. But around the same time, the catchy catchphrase was beginning to show up in early hip hop.

Yes, honest to God rappers actually did use the phrase, contrary to popular belief.

In 1979, the legendary "Rapper's Delight" by Sugarhill Gang featured the line: "You see, I am wonder Mike and I'd like to say Hello / To the black, to the white, the red and the brown, the purple and yellow."

In 1983, Melle Mel drops the exact line to perfect in "The Birthday Party" by Grandmaster Flash & The Furious 5: "Melle Mel and I'm here to say / I was born on the 15th day of May"

But you might not have picked up on those if you weren't a big hip-hop listener at the time, so many people actually credit the commercials with "My name is..." catching on beyond the rap world.

At some point soon after, the rhyme became a trope used in sitcoms, more cheesy commercials, and films to portray someone who knows nothing about rap trying to rap.

Think of it like when parents start using their kids' slang, thus ruining it for everyone.

My personal favorite example has to be Will Ferrell's devil character from a Saturday Night Live sketch, struggling to write music, when he finally spits: "I'm the devil and I'm here to say / I'm the most evil rapper in the USA"

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Announcing your name at the start of a rap may seem like a cheesy trope now, but it actually had significance in the days of early rap.

Chaz Kangas writes for The Village Voice: "Whether literally tagging their name in graffiti in public spaces or mastering signature break dancing maneuvers, it was about getting your name in as many eyes and ears as possible. Of course, when it came to rocking the mic at a party to the break-a break-a dawn, there was no better way to have people know who you were than by identifying yourself."

Rappers still do it today, though the script has changed a bit. Most artists find a way, especially early in their career, to work their name into certain songs. It helps give them notoriety and it gives them some recognition for listeners who may have liked one of their guest verses on another artist's track. For crying out loud, one of the most famous and influential rap songs ever is literally called "My Name Is" by Eminem!

And as for the "I'm here to say" part? Well, it's a great segue into whatever comes next, and there are endless words and phrases you can rhyme with "say," so you're pretty much set if you decide to go with the cliched opener.

So, maybe it's not the worst rap trope ever. When you think about the storied history, the importance of name recognition, and the flexibility the rhyme gives you...maybe it's actually the best.

Gen X invented the mix tape and we have the playlists to prove it.

Gen X is famous for being forgotten in most discussions of generations, which is hilarious because Gen X is totally awesome. Everybody says so (when they remember we exist).

Seriously, though, if you need proof that Gen X is fabulous, look no further than our playlists. The generation born between the mid-60s and the early 80s might just have the most varied and eclectic of all musical tastes. Our hippie/classic rocker parents passed down their 60s and 70s tunes, then we got the 80s in all its power ballad glory, then a brief 50s music revival during the 80s, then the rise of hip-hop, rap and grunge in the 90s.

A Gen X mom shared a video demonstrating the wide range of music she listens to ,and it's 100% familiar to those of us in our 40s and 50s.


As Word up with Jen points out, Gen X was "born in the 70s, raised in the 80s and partied in the 90s," cementing every decade's jams in our memory, from Anne Murray to Snoop Dog. Watch:

@wordup_withjen

Ya never know what you’re gonna get 🤷‍♀️ #genx #70sbaby #raisedinthe80s #partiedinthe90s #carjams

The comments confirm that Gen X really does have the bead on everyone's beats.

"I’m glad I’m not the only polyjamorous gen x out there."

"So I’m not the only one with a playlist that looks like it belongs to some with multiple personalities? This is a relief."

"Gen X is the only generation that covered so many genres of music AND decades of music. Don't give me the aux unless ur ready for a lesson in music."

"SO true!! You may get Metallica, you may get NWA, you may get Donny Osmond,you may get Duran Duran…who knows? 😂👏"

"I can relate 100%! It's not just one genre or decade. If you knew songs by NWA, Dre, Snoop, you also knew country songs by Shania, Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw and metal songs from Metallica to Pantera and so on. Even if you had a specific genre of music like me (90's hip hop/rap/pop) you also knew Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns n Roses by the very first riff and rocked the hell out of it lol. Love Gen X life!"

"I think Gen X hit the jackpot culturally. Signed, a Millennial."

Naturally, every individual has their own musical tastes, and people from other generations can certainly appreciate different music genres. But Gen X really has had the biggest exposure to a mix of musical styles during our formative. years. Our ingrained musical knowledge would make us excellent "Humm…ble" competitors, and we can sing along with pretty much anything pre-Y2K. (Some of us got Mom Brain in the 2000s that ruined us for memorizing lyrics to newer songs, but we can sing "Hotel California," "Sister Christian" and "Baby Got Back" in our sleep.)

The funniest thing about this is that the younger generations only know "playlists" as digital collections. Never will they know the hours of work that went into creating the "playlist" known as the mixed tape. Especially a mixed tape from the radio, where you curse the DJ for talking through the entire intro of the song. Even making mixed CDs took a lot of effort compared to few clicks it takes today to piece together a playlist.

Gen X may have its issues—all that angst didn't come out of nowhere—but when it comes to music, we are the unbeatable generation.

Internet

Guy turns Dr. Seuss books into awesome rap songs with superhuman accuracy

His "Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?" has over 36 million views. It's genuinely that impressive.

Jordan Simons' Dr. Seuss raps are next level.

Dr. Seuss' early books predate rap music by more than three decades, but anyone who has read the rhythmic "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" or the tongue-twisting "Fox in Socks"—or any of Seuss's delightful rhymes, really—can instantly see the connection between the two.

In fact, my daughter was just asking me the other day if anyone had made Dr. Seuss books into rap songs, and I told her about a man I wrote about a few years ago, Wes Tank, who went viral for putting Dr. Seuss rhymes to smooth Dr. Dre beats.

But now there's a new Seuss rapper who goes in a slightly different direction than Tank, hearkening to the fast rap stylings of Eminem and Busta Rhymes. Jordan Simons has garnered a following of 23 million TikTok users, simply by rapping Dr. Seuss books.

Well, "simply" is a bit of an understatement.


Like, the ABCs are simple, right? Dr. Seuss made a fun little book that helps familiarize kids with the sounds of the alphabet, but it's never sounded like this:

@jordansimons4

Rappin “Dr. Seuss’s ABC” by Dr. Seuss! #rappinrhymebooks #DrSeuss #FYP #fyp #foryourpage #rap #bars

Right?!? 

I read "Fox in Sox" so many times to my kids over the years, I have the whole book memorized. And in my wildest dreams, I could never do this:

@jordansimons4

(Part 1/2) Rappin “Fox in Socks” by Dr. Seuss! #rappinrhymebooks #DrSeuss #fyp #foryourpage #rap #bars

Part 2 is just as impressive. (The tweetle beetle battle part has always been my favorite to read.)

How about "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish"? I read that so many times as a child, I had it memorized before I had my own kids. And still, could I ever pull off this feat? Nope.

@jordansimons4

Rapping “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” by Dr. Seuss #RappinRhymeBooks #DrSeuss #rap #bars #fyp #foryourpage

Simons' most popular video to date was his rapping of "Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can you?" It may not be as well known as some of Seuss' other books, but when you see it you'll see why it's been watched more than 36 million times.

@jordansimons4

(REPOST) Rappin “Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?” By Dr. Seuss ! #rappinrhymebooks #DrSeuss #fyp #foryourpage #rap #bars

You can follow Jordan Simons on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube.


Pop Culture

Someone made the Home Depot music into a rap and it’s perfection

It's the ultimate DIY dad's weekend warrior theme song.

Home Depot rap makes the perfect home improvement weekend warrior theme song.

Not all dads are home improvement weekend warriors, but for those who are, Home Depot is where it's at. Like, literally, it's where everything is at. It's where they get tools, parts, materials—everything from honking huge sheets of wood to the tiniest little nuts and bolts. If you need it, Home Depot has it. If Home Depot doesn't have it, it probably doesn't exist.

For DIY dads, Home Depot is a second home and as much as I hate to stereotype, there are some common characteristics these dads share. I know because I'm married to one. And nowhere is this stereotype summed up as succinctly—or hilariously—as in the 33-second rap song YouTube gamer Welyn created using the Home Depot theme song.

I mean, just check out the opening lyrics:


I'm talkin' propane on the gas grill

Open flame, hold the pan still

In flannel, it's plaid, still

Never question the dad skill

I'm in the backyard…

You really just have to hear it—and watch head-bobbing cat jamming out with it.

The song is available on Spotify and I'm pretty sure my kids have listened to it a hundred times. They call it "Dad's Theme Song" and they laugh hysterically every time they sing it.

The rest of the lyrics:

Tool belt, big truck, and a backpack

Workin' on a house and I flip it like a flapjack

Phillips head with a tread, hammer with a napsack

Got a creak in the knees, even got a bad back

Never back-track; two measure, one cut

Got a big beam, bolts and a lug nut

Screws and a tool kit, thinking of what does what

Hit 'em with a 'sport' when I'm beatin' 'em at putt-putt

(Heyyyy, sport!)

It's 33 seconds of perfection, truly. The home improvement dad theme song we never knew we needed.

You can follow Welyn on YouTube, Instagram and Twitter.