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9 surprisingly positive real-life 'cheat codes' that people swear actually work

Some seriously solid life lessons here.

Photo credit: Canva

There are lots of ways to tweak your life for the better.

When you ask people for life lessons, sometimes the responses can feel quite negative. Adages like "Good guys always finish last," and "Always look out for number one," and "There's no such thing as a free lunch" may be reactionary responses to bad experiences, but they're also just fuel for cynicism, which ultimately doesn't serve people well in life.

So when someone asked for real-life "cheat codes" that actually work, it was refreshing to see how positive the vast majority of responses were. These "cheat codes" show that lessons in life don't need to be harsh or pessimistic—in fact, more often than not, the most effective life hacks are those that encourage us to live in our highest values and become our best selves.

from AskReddit


1. Listen more than you talk

As the saying goes, you have two ears but only one mouth for a reason. Listening more than you talk helps you stay in a learning mode, which unlocks so many levels in life.

"Listen a lot. Talk a little."

"This will also help your realize some people are very fine just talking uninterruptedly for hours, which is not a green flag."

"Everything you say you already know, everything you hear can bring something new."

2. Prioritize sleep

It sound so simple, doesn't it? But sleep is an often overlooked element of both physical and mental health, so it's worth prioritizing.

"Sleep, literally fixes 80% of my problems."

"Can't stress this enough. Everyone is like you need to workout, walk 10k steps a day. First f___ing sleep properly. Your body needs to recover from whole day's exertion before you start another day."

"Sleep fixes almost all my emotional problems. Sometimes you just need time and some space. Of course, I nap for an hour and I feel like it's a new day. This might be anecdotal."

life hacks, real-life cheat codes, life advice, life lessons, wisdom, sleep Sleep makes more of difference than many might realize.Photo credit: Canva

3. Own up to your mistakes

People are notoriously bad at admitting that they were wrong, but when you live by this code, it's surprising how forgiving and forbearing most people are.

"If you admit fault for something you’ve done, it blows over way quicker."

"I run my own one-man business. I sell and service domestic appliances. When I make a mistake or or a repair fails or a new appliance goes down, that job is my priority. There is not one customer in 35 years can say I let them down in any way. I haven't spent a penny on advertising in 27 years and always have as much work as I can handle. So yes. Own it! Fix it!"

"Same thing when you end up being wrong. I'm an argumentative person by nature, and tend to be very passionate and obstinate about things I know well. But if I'm wrong? Cool, I was wrong, and now I learned something!

It's amazing how just a simple 'You're right, and I was wrong. Thanks for correcting me' will just completely shut people up as their brain struggles to comprehend someone actually acknowledging another human conceding an argument."

4. Speak only truth

This doesn't mean to always say what's on your mind, as speaking some truths can be unnecessarily hurtful. It just means that when you do say something, make sure it's true. Saves a lot of headache and heartache.

"Committing to only saying the truth. It is hard at first but with time you actually stop getting yourself into situations which would make you have to lie. Life becomes much simpler and easier."

"I like the way my grandpa always put it: 'If you always tell the truth, you don't have to remember what you said.'"

"This is so true, just simply saying the truth and not exaggerating and where you can't tell the truth, just shutting up keeps you out of a lot of troubles."

life hacks, life lessons, truth, telling the truth, honesty Season 5 NBC GIF by The Office Giphy

5. Don't be afraid to ask

Asking questions in general is a great life "cheat code," but asking for help when you need it is as well. Many people welcome the opportunity to be of service to a fellow human being. Don't let fear stop you from asking.

"Just ask. Ask for what you need. Ask for what you want. Ask for directions. Ask for help. Ask the question. Most people want to help you."

"Ties in with my Estonian friend's version of an otherwise normal phrase - 'If you don't ask, the answer is always no.'"

"It's amazing how much drama and unnecessary stress can be avoided by just doing this. Most people, I've found, are genuinely more willing to help than to instantly brand someone stupid when asked a question."

6. Be an amiable employee

Career success is as much about soft skills as it is about technical skills. Being a kind, helpful, amiable presence in whatever profession you're in goes a lot further than people might think.

"You get a lot further in your career by being likeable than being good."

"Can attest. I've kept relationships for over 30 years, which still are useful for getting work.

"And helpful is the best. If you're pleasant to be around and what you do is helpful to people, you're a more valuable employee and colleague than if you're an expert in your field but are unhelpful or difficult to work with."

life hacks, real-life cheat codes, life advice, life lessons, wisdom Being kind to your co-workers and employers goes a long way.Photo credit: Canva

7. Be good to everyone, regardless of status

Some folks have a habit of only being nice to people if they think it will benefit them, not realizing that every interaction matters.

"Treat everyone equally. Bin men, people on checkouts, the guy that mutters to himself at the bus stop, your doctor... everyone."

"'The toes you step on today may be connected to the butt you have to kiss tomorrow.' — my dad"

"If I notice a worker visibly tired or not having a great day (especially in lower paid jobs) I try to go out of my way to make their life easier. Everyone deserves a break from the people making their jobs harder and empathy goes a long way."

8. Answer first in class

This is a school cheat code, but it also works in any situation where you might be asked to answer a question on the spot. Raising your hand and volunteering to answer the first question you know the answer to shows you're engaged and also lessens the likelihood of being called on when you don't know the answer.

"In school, if you volunteer to answer questions, you’ll never be first on the pecking order to be called out randomly."

"I relied on this one a lot. Once teacher calls on you the 2nd and 3rd time, you’re kind of exempt for the rest of the session."

"This is a good one. Answer questions you know. And be left alone for the ones you don't."

raise your hand, answer questions, life hack, life lessons, wisdom Pop TV Hello GIF by Schitt's Creek Giphy

9. Internalize the fact that embarrassment is fleeting

So much anxiety revolves around the fear of being embarrassed, judged, and humiliated. But the reality is, even if something embarrassing happens, everyone else moves on quickly with their own concerns. You should to. Easier said than done, but freeing yourself from that fear is life-changing.

"People only dwell on their own embarrassment. You got to get it over embarrassing yourself and learn to laugh about it. I am not the center of the universe."

"Nobody’s thinking about you. They’re all thinking about themselves just like you."

"Think about all the times you've ever seen someone else trip over, or walk into something. How many times can you actually remember it? How many times do you think about it per day? Would I be correct in saying none? I mean this in a kind way, but no one thinks about you as much as you think about yourself."

Bottom line—take care of your basic health needs, exercise good character, and don't dwell on things that don't matter in the big picture, and life will most likely feel more rewarding and less challenging.

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5 surprising pieces of life advice my dad left me before he died.

My Dad suffered from Parkinson’s, a disease that methodically and steadily destroyed his body and mind  — and ultimately took his life.

During my dad's last remaining days in hospice care, ​my four siblings, mother, and I huddled around him and shared, amidst laughter and tears, stories about the man he was, the lessons he taught us through his own successes and failures, and the tremendous impact he had on those around him. Dad’s life was far from perfect, and he had had a rough last handful of years. Our time together helped all of us remember who Dad was when we was in his prime —  when he was our hero.

Dad, while nonverbal, was alert and attuned to what was happening around him. Occasionally one of us would look over and find a trace of a smile on his face, an observation we would point out to him and the others. Dad was clearly enjoying time with his entire family for the first time in over 20 years.

Throughout his closing days, Dad heard anecdote after anecdote about the legacy he was about to leave behind.

People shared the memories he would leave us with. Here are the lessons he left behind for me and my family:

1. Dream big.

Dad grew up in a small, middle-class Irish enclave in Queens, New York. His father would periodically take him to wealthy neighborhoods to walk around and show him what was possible for him when he got older. The message from his father was that this could all be his. To Dad, it was impossible to dream too big. He wanted the world for himself and his kids — and fully expected us all to get it. Dad pushed us to imagine the unachievable and race like hell to achieve it. When I told him I was going to write a business book, he told me to prepare for the New York Times Bestseller list.

2. Live big.

Dad packed his life with rich and full experiences at every turn. If Dad wanted to have something, he got it. If he wanted to do something, he did it. The moment he had two nickels to rub together, he spent them. Dad lived big.

“You only go around once,” was something Dad frequently said to justify a risky business play or explain away a lavish purchase. It seemed to serve as a reminder to him (and us) that life could be cut unexpectedly short and that it would be wise to get big experiences in while he (we) could.

3. Be present.

Dad spent most of our upbringing racing around the country consulting with and training business leaders. The moment he was done working, he would race back home just in time to coach a basketball game, have dinner with the family, or play a pickup game in the backyard. He wasn’t vacant or lost in his work when he was with us. When he was with us, he was fully with us.

Long after we went to bed, Dad would return to work, staying up until the wee hours of the morning to get a proposal out or prepare for the following day’s events. He threw himself into whatever he was doing and made you feel as if you were the center of his universe when you were with him. He was magnetic. Being present undoubtedly added to his magnetism.

4. Pick your moments. (But when they appear, pounce.)

Dad rarely made a move that didn’t have a purpose behind it. He had this remarkable skill of letting the insignificant things go and dealing head-on with the things that really mattered.

5. Be interested, not interesting.

In his final days, what struck us most was the overwhelming number of personal stories from old friends and extended family about the impact Dad had on their lives. Dad was fascinated by people, and he had an art for drawing out their stories. When Dad was at his best, he was comfortably and confidently Dad. And in that comfort and confidence, he could let go of his own ego and pull out the complexities of the people he was with, instead of sharing his own with others. His sincere interest in others drew them closer to him and left them convinced they were in the presence of someone endlessly interesting.

My siblings and I were with Dad when he passed. We were sad, of course.

But there was a positive feeling in the room as well — each of us left Dad that night feeling closer to him and each other than we had in a very long time. We left armed and more cognizant of the lessons he had equipped us with.

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25 clichés that are actually true and how they could change your life.

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of the things we’ve learned, over and over again.

Socrates, considered to be one of the founders of Western philosophy, was once called the wisest man on Earth by the Oracle of Delphi.

When Socrates heard that the oracle made that comment, he believed the statement was wrong. Socrates said, "I know one thing: that I know nothing."

How can the smartest man on Earth know nothing?

I heard this paradoxical wisdom for the first time from a teacher when I was 14 or 15. It made such an impact on me that I used Socrates’ quote as my learning strategy from then on.

"I know nothing" means, to me, that you might be an educated person, but still you can learn from everything and everyone.

One thing I like better than learning from my own mistakes is to learn from other people’s mistakes. Over the years, I’ve been blessed to have great mentors, teachers, family, and friends who have taught me about life. Of course, I learn from my own life too. But learning from others is often faster and deeper.

Plus, while we might learn things quickly, we often forget those things at the same rate. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of the things we’ve learned, over and over again.

So here’s my list of 25 things about life that other people have taught me.

These are things that have changed my life completely and that I wish I’d known about 10 years ago.

1. Struggle is good.

Never say, "I can’t take it anymore." Say, "Bring it on!"

2. Don’t complain.

Complaining is the biggest waste of time there is. Either do something about it, and if you can’t, shut up.

3. Spend time with the people you love.

That’s your family and best friends. If you don’t have a family, create one (in whatever way that means to you). Most people in life are only visitors. Family is for life.

Photo via iStock.

4. Don’t start a relationship if you’re not in love.

I’ve done this more than once. You kind of like someone and think, "We might as well give it a shot." Not a good idea. You’re either in love, or you are not. Don’t fool yourself. It’s not fair to you and the other person.

5. Exercise daily.

I didn’t get this until recently. A healthy body is where you have to start everything in life. If you can’t build a healthy and strong body, what CAN you build in life?

6. Keep a journal.

No, keeping a journal is not for children. It helps you to become a better thinker and writer. "I don’t want to be a writer," you might think. Well, how many emails and texts do you send a day? Everybody is a writer.

7. Be grateful.

Say "thank you" to everyone and everything. "Thank you for this beautiful day." "Thank you for your email." "Thank you for being there for me."

8. Don’t care about what people think.

We all die in the end; do you really think it matters what people think of you?

9. Take more risks.

Don’t be such a wimp.

Photo via iStock.

10. Pick an industry, not a job.

If you want to become good at something, you need to spend years and years doing that. You can’t do that if you hop from industry to industry. Pick an industry you love and start at the bottom. You will find the perfect role for you eventually.

11. Lead the way.

When you find yourself in a situation where everyone looks at each other, it’s time for you to lead. You‘re a leader when you decide to become one. There’s no initiation or a title. Just a decision.

12. Money isn't important.

It really isn’t. But you have to train yourself not to care about money. Don’t become too dependent on the stuff you own — otherwise, the stuff will own you.

13. Be nice.

I don’t mean you should be a pushover. You can be someone that doesn’t take shit and be nice about it. Just don’t insult people, think you’re better than them, or act like an idiot.

14. Learn every day.

You’ve got to train your brain to stay alert. You don’t have to read a book a day to learn every day. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the people around you — be open to what they can teach you.

Photo via iStock.

15. Rest before you are tired.

Even if you love your job and every day seems like a holiday, you need to take time to rest. You’re a human and not an android; never forget that.

16. Don't judge.

Just because people make different choices than you, they are not stupid. Also, you don’t know everything about people, so don’t judge them — help them.

17. Think about others.

Just be mindful, that’s all. We all have families, bills to pay, and our own issues. Don’t always make everything about yourself.

18. Give without expecting something in return.

Don’t keep score. You will become a bitter person if you do that. Give solely for the joy of giving. If you get something in return, great, and if you don’t, great.

19. There's no end game.

We, as a species, just are. Don’t try to figure it all out. Enjoy your journey.

20. Enjoy small things.

I like clichés because they are (usually) true. Especially this one. You know why? Everyone says they know it, but no one lives up to it. They just chase big things.

Photo via iStock.

21. Don't take yourself so seriously.

Yeah, yeah, you’re an individual, and people have to take you seriously. I get it. But at the end of the day, we’re all a bunch of ants trying to chase the same things. Lighten up.

22. Don't blame people.

What’s the point? Do you want to punish them? Also don’t blame yourself — you’re only human.

23. Create something.

Not to leave a legacy (you won’t be here to see it anyway), but to be of use. Make music, write a book, build a table, anything. You’ll feel good about yourself, plus you give something back to people to use or enjoy.

24. Never look back for too long.

Reflecting on the past is only good for one thing: learning.

25. Take action.

Don’t just sit there; do something. Without action, there is no outcome.

Photo via iStock.

You might know a lot. But like Socrates, you and I also know nothing at all. So we have to keep learning.

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The ridiculously terrible mother-daughter camping trip that taught me when to let go.

One woman's Mother's Day tribute to her strong, nonconforming mom.

True
Mothers Everywhere

I’m not sure if it was my idea to join Girl Scouts or if it was my mother’s.

In September 1998, I was starting fourth grade in a new school, and I was really looking forward to rebranding myself. Small and shy, I had enjoyed origami club at my old school, and I spent my weekends reading "Little House on the Prairie." But faced with a whole new peer group to befriend, I determined that I should be less of a "weirdo."

I quickly picked up that in our new town, playing sports was the quickest route to popularity and a sense of belonging. But given my size and aversion to running, I quickly ruled that out as a viable option. Some of the cool girls were joining Girl Scouts, though, and I loved nature.

Image via iStock.

My mother is an artist and a wholly sophisticated person.

Before my brother and I arrived, she worked in fashion: living in Greenwich Village and flying to Paris and Milan for runway shows. While she raised us, she designed and painted textiles from our home, taking the train into Brooklyn for painting seminars on the weekends.

My mother’s studio in 1996. Photo by the author, used with permission.

I spent most of my early years playing on the floor of her studio, surrounded by art supplies from Pearl Paint (RIP), rummaging through her sketchbooks and fabric swatches.

For my mother, and for me, fitting into our new suburban town did not come naturally.

It seemed like everyone else’s dad worked on Wall Street, and everyone else’s mom drove a Chevy Suburban. The town had three separate soccer leagues: one recreational, one school-run, and one competitive. Later, in my angsty teenage years, I would not be able to imagine why my parents chose to move to such a homogenous, boring place.

Of course, I know now that every single thing my parents did between 1985 and 2010 was for my benefit. My mother saw the good schools and the safe neighborhoods and resigned herself to coexisting with J.Crew-clad peers for the next decade. But at 9 years old, I was determined to fit in — come hell or high water.

The first official Girl Scout trip of the 1998-1999 school year was to Hershey, Pennsylvania.

We were going to visit the amusement park, see how Hershey kisses were made, and most importantly, camp next to an actual river. I had lucked into bunking with three extremely popular girls, and my excitement level was high. If my mom was less enthused about the trip, she didn’t let on, but she was concerned about the weather — there was heavy rain predicted all weekend.


Photo via iStock.

While the three other girls packed their sleeping bags into my mom’s car, she talked to the troop leader about the impending downpour headed our way and got the brush off: We weren’t worried about a little rain! We were Girl Scouts. We would tough it out. Not wanting to be alarmist, my mother decided to go with the flow.

I don’t remember much about the amusement park or how Hershey kisses are made, but I do remember what a lime green Girl Scouts of America tent looks like as it gets washed away in a flash flood.

The campsite “next to a river” turned out to be in a literal river basin. By day two of our trip, it became apparent that the rain was going to be a little more than we’d bargained for. After a soggy lunch on the second day, we returned to find the campsite in very different conditions than when we’d left. The peaceful green river was now muddy and brown, surging, and full of debris.

Photo via iStock.

The water in our camp was knee-high, and as everyone scrambled to move their possessions to higher ground, my mother registered two things: The river was already lapping over the sides of the only bridge out of there and the campsite closest to it was completely underwater.

She made an executive decision: We were done going with the flow; the flow was now a whitewater rapid.

As a tent from the campsite next-door bobbed away downriver, my mom threw me and my backpack into her car and peeled out of the parking lot in her Swedish sports car.

Somewhere in her rearview mirror, a group of blonde women in Hunter boots and North Face fleeces continued “toughing it out.”

They all survived, of course. Apparently camps were assembled in a nearby parking lot, and it amuses me now to imagine what the rest of the trip must’ve looked like. I picture 20 soggy 9-year-olds camping between SUVs, their mothers resolutely singing the Girl Scout smile song over the sounds of a raging river, never conceding defeat.

I spent another four years trying to get mean girls who played sports to like me before I transitioned seamlessly into the aforementioned angsty teenager phase.

But I’m fairly certain that for my mother the charade ended in that very moment, while dragging a 10-year-old and her pink sleeping bag through knee-deep amusement park water.

She was just plain out, and she gave not one thought to the opinions of others in that moment.

It took me another decade or so of growing up to understand the real lesson in my mother's decision during that camping trip.

We’re always taught to never give up — “don’t be a quitter” — but honestly, what does “not giving up” look like in a flash flood?

When you’re slogging it out, giving something your all, don’t you ever stop and think, "Even if I could eventually break through this brick wall with my bare hands, do I really want to spend the next five years clawing at it?"

I suppose it depends on what’s on the other side, but sometimes I really think it takes a stronger person to back up, redirect, and choose a new goal. It’s something my mother does well and something I wish I did better.

These days, when I’m staring at the proverbial brick wall, trying to figure out why it still doesn’t like me, I try to recall the look on my mother’s face as she watched that tent float away downriver.

And I laugh, and remember that sometimes it’s just not worth it.

Pre trick-or-treating 1998, just after realizing that everyone else was going as a Spice Girl. Hand-made costume by my mother, of course.

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