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17 incarcerated dads in tuxedos danced with daughters at San Quentin’s 'Parenting Prom'

“Some have waited for decades.”

Credit: @drumarjojodinero (TikTok)

It's the rehabilitation center's very first Parenting Prom.

On a beautiful Saturday afternoon in April 2025, something extraordinary happened at California's most famous prison, San Quentin Rehabilitation Center (SQRC). The prison's chapel was transformed into a gorgeous ballroom: music filled the air, an illuminated dance floor beckoned, the scent of fresh flowers wafted through the room, and twinkling lights sparkled overhead. Outside, guests arrived on a ruby red carpet. Girls wore beautiful gowns and dresses; their fathers, in sharp tuxedos, held corsages ready to be tied onto their daughters' wrists. This wasn't a prom in the usual high school Never Been Kissed sense. Instead, it was a magical evening where 17 incarcerated fathers got the chance to do something many of us take for granted: simply dance with their daughters and make them feel special.

Twenty-five daughters, ages 7 to 27, walked down that red carpet to reunite with their beloved fathers—some hadn't seen each other in years, others in over a decade. On the sidelines, “correctional officers, guardians, mothers, and volunteers cheered as each reunion took place. Some people were in tears, writes,” Localnewsmatters. SQRC's “Parenting Prom” was planned and hosted by The People in Blue (TPIB), a coalition of innovative incarcerated individuals working to reimagine California's prisons from the inside. This night in April was never meant to be a singular, one-off event—this is what rehabilitation can look like at its best: healing families and individuals, rather than warehousing people who have made mistakes.



 
@drumarjojodinero

16 incarcerated fathers got to reunite with their daughters for a Daddy Daughter Dance in San Quentin Prison. They have waited years for this moment. Some have waited decades. These kind of moments are sacred to many parents who deeply appreciate, care about, and love their children. Most men are incarcerated don’t even get this opportunity. Let alone get a phone call/a visit/even a letter.. This is what rehabilitation should look like. This what restoration should look like ‼️🥹 Such a beautiful event. For just a few hours, these men got to experience something different. For just a few hours, this didn’t feel like prison. #healing #happyfathersday #fatherdaughter #sanquentin #fyp #daddydaugtherdance #massincarceration

 

If you think prison is just about punishment, you’re missing the bigger picture

 

This is what healing looks like in action.

“We want to promote healing,” said Arthur Jackson, The People in Blue’s president. “We want to promote healing for everybody, victims of crime, families, communities, and incarcerated individuals. We believe families are critical to rehabilitation and healing, and we want to normalize these reunions as much as possible.”

Members of TPIB worked as ushers and servers, ensuring everyone in attendance—mothers, guardians, daughters, and fathers—were well cared for and enjoying themselves. The idea for the Parenting Prom began in 2023, when someone noticed Louis Sale (a TPIB member and the night's emcee) dancing with his daughter, Matalena, at the SQRC Hawaiian Makahiki celebration. The inspiration grew when residents at SQRC watched the documentary Daughters in 2024, which showcases a similar father-daughter dance in a Washington, D.C. jail. It resonated deeply. “We knew we had to make it happen,” says Sale.


 father, daughter, dance, hugging, reuniting "We knew we needed to make it happen," said the emcee, Louis Sale. Credit: @drumarjojodinero (TikTok)

San Quentin, California's oldest and most well-known prison, is undergoing a major transformation into a rehabilitation-focused facility. Inspired by Scandinavian models, the new San Quentin Rehabilitation Center prioritizes education, therapy, job training, and family connection while moving away from traditional punishment approaches. The goal? To reduce recidivism—the relapse into criminal behavior after release—and prepare incarcerated individuals for successful reentry into society. This revolutionary change has the prison now housing approximately 3,900 individuals, with a focus on lower-risk individuals who can benefit most from rehabilitation programs.


“I can't stop crying”

Each incarcerated father was required to complete and graduate from an eight-week family communication workshop. The workshop was created by Tam Nguyen, a TPIB member who has been incarcerated for 22 years and has prior training from the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation's Offender Mentor Certification Program and the Youthful Offender Program.

“I started this workshop to help bring families closer together,” said Nguyen. “If we don’t have strong family ties when we go back to our communities, it increases the recidivism rate.”

One of those graduates was Steven Embrey, who danced with his three daughters, Ase (7), Anna (9), and Tiara (28). “This workshop helped me be more understanding. I listen more, and we talk about reasonable and unreasonable expectations,” he said.


 father, daughter, dance, hugging, reuniting Some of the fathers hadn't seen their daughters in years. Credit: @drumarjojodinero (TikTok)

The emotional impact of the night was immediate and profound. Carrington Russelle, another incarcerated father who graduated from the class, reunited with his 12- and 14-year-old daughters, Jazlyn and Jayla, who had traveled all the way from Georgia to see him.

“It's the first time I saw them in person in more than a decade,” said Russelle. “I can't stop crying.”

One of the most powerful moments came during the slow dance to Luther Vandross' “Dance with My Father.” There wasn't a dry eye in the room as correctional officers, volunteers, and family members watched fathers—some who hadn't seen their daughters in decades—embrace and share that special song together.

“I have been at San Quentin over 20 years. I have probably witnessed hundreds of events, but nothing like this,” said acting chief deputy warden Eric Patao. “I have three daughters. I understand a father's love. We have a common bond today.”


 father, daughter, dance, hugging, reuniting The Parenting Prom was a community event, cultivated with love. Credit: @drumarjojodinero (TikTok)

Another beautiful aspect? The evening was truly a community effort: some daughters received free flights and hotel accommodations to see their fathers, thanks to God Behind Bars. Other organizations and individuals provided a DJ, decorations, and food. At the end of the night, daughters received flowers, goodie bags, and t-shirts reading “I Danced with My Father.”

The Parenting Prom at San Quentin represents something much bigger than one beautiful evening. It's a glimpse into what our justice system could look like if we prioritized healing over punishment, connection over isolation, and hope over despair. Steven Warren, who danced with his 8-year-old daughter Wynter, captured this perfectly: “We did this to build long-lasting healthy relationships with our daughters. This is a memory that will last a lifetime.”

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Health

Woman shares texts showing the difference between a healthy and a controlling relationship

Is it a healthy or controlling relationship?

Pic from Twitter.

The texting experience between two different men.

Saving old text messages from exes can sometimes be an asset when you need to remember exactly why you left them. Alternately, sometimes digital relics from old relationships serve as a good reminder of how much good we have in our lives currently.

At least, they did for the X user May Larsen, who posted screenshots of two text threads with two very different men in 2018.

The conversation on the left shows how an old conversation went down with an emotionally manipulative ex. While the other screenshot is a prime example of what communication in a healthy partnership looks like.

The emotional dynamics of this exchange are full of red flags.

screenshot of a text exchange

The unhealthy "Don’t cheat" Text.

Pic cropped from Twitter post.

This ex (boyfriend, hookup, whatever he was) went from 0-100 in no time. In fact, the ONLY way this kind of freak out would be excusable would be if they had prior plans she ditched on. Alternately, if he was doing a performance art bit where he embodied Drake's "0-100 / The Catch Up" via text message. Outside of those possibilities, this type of reaction is nothing short of manipulation and emotional abuse.

The second text message showed how Larsen's current partner responds to a simple night out:

relationships, boys, men

The healthy "Let me know when you’re home safe" Text.

Pic cropped from Twitter post.

The difference between these responses to a simple night out on the town is night and day. When comparing the two messages, the red flags really pop.

People on X had a LOT of thoughts about the texts.

A lot of people assumed the texts were from two guys she's currently dating.

That quickly got shut down.

Meanwhile, others were caught up with the fact that her current dude wears a cowboy hat.

Regardless of whether the rest of us are pro cowboy hat (I'm pro if you can pull it off), it seems they've got a healthy situation going. Communication is key, in any kind of relationship.


Update: It looks like May and Cowboy Hat got married in 2020. We love a happy ending!

🤠

This article originally appeared six years ago.

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Modern Families

‘Hard pill to swallow’: Mom shares why some adult children don’t talk to their parents

"How your kids treat you when they are no longer in need of food and shelter, is a direct reflection of how you made them feel when they needed you to survive."

via Teona Swift/Pexels and Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

Parent and child deal with the pain of estrangement.

Even though humans are biologically hard-wired to form strong attachments to our parents, in many cases, these relationships become estranged as the children age. A recent poll found that nearly 1 in 4 adults are estranged from their families.

Six percent are estranged from their mothers and 26% have no contact with their fathers. It’s believed that these days, more children are comfortable distancing themselves from their parents because it’s good for their mental health.

“I think it relates to this new desire to have healthy relationships,” Rin Reczek, a sociology professor at the Ohio State University, said, according to The Hill. “There might be some cultural shifts around people being allowed to choose who is in your family. And that can include not choosing to have the person who raised you be in your family.”

The interesting thing is that when a mother finds herself estranged from a child, they are more likely to blame a third party, such as another family member or a spouse, than themselves.

But, studies show that when an adult child chooses to no longer have contact with a parent, it’s directly related to how they were raised and is most likely due to abuse, poor parenting, or a lack of support.

 

Erin O'Regan, known as TheCalMother on Instagram, shared the cold, hard truth of this lesson for estranged parents in an Instagram post that inspired passionate responses.

"Hard parenting pill to swallow: How your kids treat you when they are no longer in need of food and shelter, is a direct reflection of how you made them feel when they needed you to survive."

In other words, parents who enjoy a positive relationship with their adult children probably did a good job when their kids were young. So, even though their children don’t need them to get by, they’re still around because they value their relationship and think they are great parents.

It was about love, not about a quid-pro-quo relationship.

This wasn’t the greatest news to parents who don’t have a relationship with their adult children and some responded with very hard feelings. “I don’t agree and as a Mother, I’m tired of the blame. What would I tell my grown child? Toughen up Buttercup,” Mimi Davis responded. The world is a tough place. Stop blaming people.”

However, a mother on TikTok took the message to heart as it related to her relationship with her parents as well as her children. Crystal Allon, a trauma and addiction recovery coach, discussed how her current relationship with her kids caused her to reflect on what she missed as a parent.

@fiftiesrediscovery

#stitch with @6ftofPureBrownSugar #intergenerationaltrauma #healyourself #healyourshit #speakyourtruth #parenting #estrangedparents #adultchildren

"How my children treat me now is a direct reflection of how I treated them when they were younger and needed me. This is very hard for parents to come to terms with. I think a lot of parents go, 'That's not true,' this is where the disconnect comes," she said. "As my kids grew up and they started to distance themselves from me, I kind of went, 'What's happening here?' I looked at myself and now that I'm looking back on my children's childhood, I'm recognizing some stuff that I really missed the mark on."

There are countless reasons why parents and their children become estranged when they get older, and according to research, a big one is emotionally distant parenting. While this may be hurtful to some parents who aren’t in close contact with their children. The lesson is positive for all parents out there who are close with their adult kids. If your children are still in your lives and you enjoy a close relationship, it’s a great indicator that you should be positive about the job you did as a parent.

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Humor

Man surprises his wife with homemade Japanese hibachi complete with flying utensils

That's one way to satisfy a craving.

Dan and Sam|TikTok

Husband surprises pregnant wife with hibachi reenactment

Eating hibachi at a Japanese restaurant is an experience. The hibachi chef wheels out his cart, cleans off the cooking space and the next thing you know there are flames shooting two feet in the air from an onion volcano. Spatulas go flying, eggs spin on end and with each squirt of oil the flame dances wildly while the heat warms your face.

It's truly a show of skill and entertainment that you simply don't get with other dinning experiences, so it's no wonder people enjoy it. But when you add in pregnancy cravings, it takes that enjoyment to a whole new level and this woman's husband got the memo. The couple, Dan and Sam uploaded a video to their TIkTok channel where it has gone viral with over 1.5 million likes.

In the video, Sam, who is pregnant is laying in the bed craving hibachi when her husband comes to beckon her into the kitchen.

Dan then wheels in a little black cart full of seasonings while wearing a black robe and tall white chef's hat with cooking utensils holstered on his waist. When your pregnant wife is craving hibachi, you become a hibachi chef complete with a griddle and your best flying spatula tricks.

At one point his reenactment was so accurate that he flipped a hot carrot off the griddle and into his paper hat before being quickly reminded that the carrot was scalding. People in the comments couldn't get enough of how sweet his accurate performance was.

"That's so sweet of him. I love how he got all the hibachi restaurant staples down pat," one person writes.

"This is my favorite video I've seen in a long time, give that man some love bc 10/10 for talent, humor, and it looks delicious hello," another says.

"He's a keeper. Cooks, cleans and can flip food into his hat!! Yep, a keeper," a commenter gushes.

@wearedanandsam

But why is all of this so accurate 🤣🤣 #couplehumor #couplecontent #couplecomedy

That performance does take talent and the fact that he even made a heart out of the rice just makes it that much more special. Hopefully homemade hibachi will become a family staple after baby comes.

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