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A study found this flirting strategy to be the most effective, regardless of your looks or age

The ultimate pick-up line might be a one-liner.

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A couple enjoying a glass of wine.

In the 1988 Disney classic “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” the titular character is in an unlikely relationship with his voluptuous wife Jessica. Roger is a frantic, anxious rabbit with a penchant for mischief, while Jessica is a quintessential ’40s bombshell who stands about a foot and a half taller and isn’t “bad,” just “drawn that way.”

When private investigator Eddie Valiant asked Jessica what she sees in “that guy?” she replies, “He makes me laugh.” This type of couple may seem like something we only see in the movies, but don’t underestimate the power of humor when it comes to attractiveness. A 2022 study published in Evolutionary Psychology found that being humorous is the most effective way to flirt for both men and women.

“People think that humour, or being able to make another person laugh, is most effective for men who are looking for a long-term relationship. It’s least effective for women who are looking for a one-night stand. But laughing or giggling at the other person's jokes is an effective flirtation tactic for both sexes,” says Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, a professor at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology's (NTNU) Department of Psychology.

dating, flirting, how to flirt, flirting advice, romance, men, women A woman smiles at a manImage via Canva

“It is not only effective to be funny, but for women, it is very important that you show your potential partner that you think they are funny,” Rebecca Burch, a co-author from SUNY Oswego in New York, added.

For men, showing off their sense of humor was found to be the most effective way to flirt whether they were looking for a short-term or a long-term relationship. For women, being funny was the most effective tactic when looking for a long-term relationship. For people looking for a short-term fling, appearing available was the most effective tactic.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

According to the study, humor is effective regardless of one's attractiveness. “Individual differences in age, religiosity, extroversion, personal attractiveness and preferences for short-term sexual relationships had little or no effect on how effective respondents considered the various flirting tactics to be,” says study co-author Prof. Mons Bendixen.

If you see someone you like but don’t think you’re good-looking enough for them, give it a shot. You may still have a chance if you can make ’em laugh.

The most effective tactics for those looking for a long-term relationship:

For women:

1. Makes him laugh

2. Shows interest in conversations

3. Spends time with him

4. Engages in deep conversations

5. Kisses on mouth


flirting, flirting advice, how to flirt, dating, romance, men, women A man texts a woman sitting near himImage via Canva

For men:

1. Makes her laugh

2. Spends time with her

3. Shows interest in conversations

4. Engages in deep conversations

5. Smiles

The study is proof that looks aren’t everything and shows that having a good sense of humor isn’t just about making someone laugh. A great sense of humor is evidence that someone is intelligent, wise, perceptive, confident, can see things from new perspectives and has good intuition. It also helps people quickly build bonds and share experiences, which is a great way to get close to someone in a fast and fun way.

So why wouldn’t Jessica be with Roger? The guy is hilarious.

This story originally appeared three years ago.

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Tinder is adding a new height filter. Fed up users have some creative ideas for the next one.

Sarcastic dating app users say: "Why stop there?"

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No one seems particularly happy about Tinder's new filter, for many different reasons.

Can we agree that no one really "likes" using dating apps? It's just that there aren't many better options anymore, and that's saying something because dating apps truly don't work very well.

A recent survey showed that about eight percent of people met their current or most recent partner on a dating app or website. That's...a pretty low number, considering these apps have been extremely popular and mainstream for well over a decade. Why aren't they more effective? Well, apps encourage people to look for stimulation and validation rather than real connection. They encourage shallow behaviors and preferences, and they make it easy to ghost and go find someone new at the drop of a hat—or just because you're suddenly not feeling the vibe.

All signs currently point to the problem, and dating apps in general, getting worse rather than better. And the excruciating "women only like tall men!" discourse will never recover from the latest development.

Tinder, widely considered the most popular dating app in the United States, recently added a new and controversial premium feature for some paying users. They'll now be able to filter out potential matches by height.

If you're a paid user with access to the setting in your profile, you'll be able to set a maximum and minimum height for people you'd like to match with.

tinder, dating apps, dating, love, relationships, sex, hookups, bumble, hinge, match, dating tips, online datingTinder is the top dating app in the United States. Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Tinder actually isn't the first app to try this. Bumble previously had height filtering as a premium option before eventually removing the feature (though there's still an open spot in your profile to list it). Hinge has a height option as well. And now, Tinder. It's all part of Tinder's new rebrand to be taken more seriously as a way for Gen Z users to find real connection and relationships, as younger generations are less drawn to hook-ups. They're calling it a "broader effort to help people connect more intentionally on Tinder."

(To be fair, the height setting is not a hard filter. It's just a strong suggestion that helps guide the algorithm. It's also, for now, just a test and not a permanent feature.)

The trouble is that height seems to be the only physical attribute you can filter by, which plays into some really nasty stereotypes about heightism and online dating. But hey, preferences are preferences. Luckily, the announcement sparked a firestorm of interest and debate about the new feature—and dating app users have lots of ideas for new filters they'd like to see in the near future.

Weight filter

Yes, this is the obvious joke suggestion that's been made all over the Internet in response to Tinder's news. But it's kind of fair. Who gets to decide which physical preferences are offensive and which are legitimate?

Salary/Net income filter

It's perfectly reasonable to want a partner with a stable career. But do we really care about the actual career or do we just want to make sure they make enough money? Honestly. Some users would like to see a salary slider in the settings to weed out anyone who can't match their lifestyle, or who might get weird about splitting the bill on the first date.

Hair and eye color filter

You might prefer a partner with dark hair, and that might show up in your swiping preferences. But why bother swiping when you could essentially just erase light-haired people from your entire world with a filter? After all, what really matters is efficiency and saving everyone time.

Cup size / penis size filter

OK, look, I didn't say it, but this one has come up on all the dating app subreddits many, many times. Sometimes in jest, sometimes not...

Abs filter

It's not enough to be able to see whether someone has abs or not in their photos. To save everyone time and maximize efficiency, we should just auto-filter them out if they don't have a six-pack. Or, conversely, if you're not down with eating chicken and broccoli for every meal, you can filter the gym-heads out from the get-go.

Fishing/hunting filter

Women on social media have been clamoring for this one for a while, and would surely pay top dollar. We've got AI technology now; there's no reason we can't tell that a guy is holding a fish or a severed deer head in his photo and promptly remove him from the queue. The filter can work overtime for if someone's holding a gun.

Conversely, you might be really into these things, and the filter could end up working in your favor, too.

tinder, dating apps, dating, love, relationships, sex, hookups, bumble, hinge, match, dating tips, online datingA hunting/fishing filter on Tinder: Who says no? Photo by luis arias on Unsplash

Onlyfans filter

Similarly, there's got to be a way to run text analysis on a profile to find out if the person is hawking a paid NSFW profile online somewhere.

Married filter

You'd think this wouldn't be necessary, but here are we. One survey recently found that an astounding 65% of Tinder users were married or in a relationship. Whether they're polyamorous, looking for a third, cheating, or something else... can we auto-scan the photos for a wedding ring or something? Run the names against a marriage license database?

Spelling and grammar filter

There's no reason that Tinder and Bumble couldn't partner with Grammarly and give us a sense of people's reading or literacy level, filtering out anyone who doesn't meet a certain standard.

Old photo / heavily filtered photo filter

Surely, we have the technology for this. If people are misrepresenting the way they look with fancy filters or outdated photos, then premium users should reserve the right to have those people removed from their queue. If the photo was taken with an Olympus digital camera circa 2002, let the filter do its thing!

tinder, dating apps, dating, love, relationships, sex, hookups, bumble, hinge, match, dating tips, online datingSome users want the Tinder algorithm to weed out people with old or heavily filtered photosUnsplash

Some of the new filter ideas are clearly ridiculous. Others might actually be helpful. But put them all together and it paints a pretty bleak picture of modern dating.

Having preferences and likes or dislikes is totally fine, and a natural part of dating. The idea is that you're supposed to find these things out with your eyes or by actually talking to people and learning about them. Being genuinely curious about another human being you find attractive and interesting is part of the process. Skipping that by adding preferential filters that remove more and more people from your orbit is antithetical to what looking for love is supposed to be all about. And maybe that's exactly what Tinder and the other apps (many of whom are owned by the same corporation) are going for.

NPR cleverly points out that we shouldn't forget dating apps are run by for-profit companies. When two people meet on the app, fall in love, and settle down together, the app loses two crucial users. Keeping people frustrated, stuck on the app, and desperate enough to pony up for "premium features" and better filtering is the better move for them—and of course, spotlighting a few happy endings here and there just to give everyone some hope.

"Heightism" definitely exists in the dating world, and especially on apps, but it definitely seems like Tinder is intentionally stoking that fire to boost their paid user base. Now you've got short guys that are hurt and pissed off, and women that are sick of being accused of being shallow for their legitimate preferences, and everyone's angry at everyone else. It's a move that ultimately drives us further apart.

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Single mom teaches 13-year-old son how to date with monthly "practice dates" on a $50 budget

"The idea is you are prepping them for how to take a girl out on a date in the future."

Melissaannmariee/YouTube

Melissa Ann Marie and her 13-year-old son go on "practice dates" each month.

Let's be honest: dating is not easy at any age. For most pre-teens and teens, though, this tender age marks the start of romantic ventures. One mom is making sure her son has a few dating lessons under his belt before going on a real one.

TikToker Melissa Ann Marie (@melissaannmarie), a single mom in California, shared how she is preparing her 13-year-old son to date and be a stand-up partner in the future. She has started a tradition of going on a "practice date" with him once a month, where he does all the planning with a $50 budget (an allowance given to him by her).

"Come with me on a date with my boy 🥹 I heard about this idea from another teen/pre-teen boy mama and we've done this a handful of times now. We always have the best time with it!" she captioned the video.

@melissaannmariee

Come with me on a date with my boy 🥹 I heard about this idea from another teen/pre-teen boy mama and weve done this a handful of times now. We always have the best time with it! Basically you give them an allowance ($50) and they take you out on a date. The idea is you are prepping them for how to take a girl out on a date in the future so they aren’t completely lost when the time comes. So you help them along the way with how to plan and execute a date and you teach them basic etiquette and manners. And while you are teaching them, you get quality time with them which is the best part. What did he learn today?! -to open the doors for his date -not to walk ahead of his date -pay attention to their preferences with things (places they would want to go too) -pull their chair at a dinner table -learned how to give a waiter a non-verbal cue & signal for the check -learned how to make a reservation online -learned how to pay for everything all on his own - to get creative and thoughtful with a date & not a lot of money to spend 👏🏼 He planned a really sweet one this time and I really i enjoyed teaching him these things along the way and getting some one on one time together. I can’t wait to do this again and see what he comes up with. Trying to teach my boy all of these things so he can be the best partner for someone someday 🤍 #boymom #boymomlife #parentsofteens #motherhood #sandiego #fyp #parentingtips #gentleman

In the video, she took viewers on her date with him. He planned a morning date to a cat cafe. The two spent time playing with the cats and sipping on yummy coffee drinks before heading to a coastal walking trail to take in some scenic ocean views. They also stopped for tacos (which set them slightly over the $50 budget), but she notes she had him practice paying with her credit card.

"The idea is you are prepping them for how to take a girl out on a date in the future so they aren’t completely lost when the time comes," she wrote in the caption. "So you help them along the way with how to plan and execute a date and you teach them basic etiquette and manners."

She added that the best part about investing time in teaching him to date is the quality time they spend together.

@melissaannmariee

GRWM for a date with my boy 🥹 I heard about this idea from another teen/pre-teen boy mama and weve done this a handful of times now. We always have the best time with it! Basically you give them an allowance ($50) and they take you out on a date. The idea is you are prepping them for how to take a girl out on a date in the future so they aren’t completely lost when the time comes. So you help them along the way with how to plan and execute a date and you teach them basic etiquette and manners. And while you are teaching them, you get quality time with them which is the best part. What did he learn last night?! -to open the doors for me -not to walk ahead of your date -pay attention to their preferences with things (ex. ask where they want to sit in the movies— not just where YOU want) -pulled my chair for me -learned to give a waiter a non-verbal cue & signal for the check -learned how to pay for everything all on his own - to get creative and thoughtful with not a lot to spend 👏🏼 He planned a really fun one and i enjoyed teaching him these things and getting some one on one time together. I can’t wait to do this again! Trying to teach my boy all of these things so he can be the best partner for someone someday 🤍 #boymom #boymomlife #parentsofteens #motherhood #sandiego #fyp #parentingtips #gentleman

While dating culture may be different today, Melissa Ann Marie notes that she is instilling traditional values when it comes to teaching her son to date. "Trying to teach my boy all of these things so he can be the best partner for someone someday 🤍. What did he learn today?!" she shared, before offering a bullet list of lessons. These included:

  • To open the doors for his date
  • Not to walk ahead of his date
  • To pay attention to their preferences with things (places they would want to go, too)
  • Pull their chair at a dinner table-learned how to give a waiter a non-verbal cue & signal for the check
  • Learned how to make a reservation online
  • Learned how to pay for everything all on his own
  • To get creative and thoughtful with a date & not a lot of money to spend 👏🏼
@melissaannmariee

breaking cycles I never signed up for 💔 #singlemom #soloparent #momandson #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged

Her followers are loving her example of how to teach her son about dating.

"I did Mom/son dates. My son is 23 now and his fiancé says he’s the sweetest guy she’s ever met," one wrote, and Melissa Ann Marie replied, "YES MAMA 👏🏼 we are raising men who will be husbands one day!"

Another added, "You’re going to be such an amazing mother in law, setting him up for success like that! 👏," and she responded, "Yes!! That’s the goal! 🥺"

And another touched viewer wrote, "This is SUCH a good and thoughtful idea. It warms my heart knowing there are parents out there that are doing everything they can to raise gentleman ❤️."

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Woman wonders if men over 30 get hit on more often and gets a funny reality check

"I get hit on twice as often. 200% of zero is also zero."

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Guys had a good laugh when a woman asked if they get hit on more now that they're older

I can remember a very few instances in my life of being obviously hit on, most of them in college. Once, when working retail, a girl came into the store and slipped me her number without so much as saying a word. Later, I was working as a pizza delivery driver when a girl I'd delivered to had her friend call the store and get my phone number. A woman's voice inside one the houses, as I was handing over a fresh pizza, once yelled out that I was "hot."

If it sounds like bragging, please don't be mistaken. It has been a VERY long time since anything like that happened. What's funny is that through all the many years since and the hazy memories of college, and though I'm quite happily married now, I remember those instances extremely well, probably because they are so few and far between throughout my life.

A 24 year old woman recently took to social media to ask an interesting question about flirting and aging: "Do women start hitting on men more once you’re 30+?"


men, masculinity, mens health, flirting, dating, dating advice, dating tips, women, funny, redditGuys won't recognize flirting unless it looks like this.Giphy

In a post on r/AskMenAdvice, a woman reported that her husband was feeling insecure because whenever they'd go out, she would get hit on by men. Sometimes the attention would take the form of random guys coming up to the husband and telling him "how lucky he is." (As a husband myself, I can confirm that we hate that.) Other times, when she went out alone, men would be more direct in their attempts to flirt with her.

She tried to comfort him by assuring him that he was extremely handsome and one day, the tables would turn.

"I told him I think men start getting hit on/approached more when they get past 30. I guess I believe women start to get more confident with approaching with age. Also once women start getting older they do not get approached like they did in their prime causing them to reach out. Is this just a bad assumption?" she wrote.

Then she asked for input. "Did men start noticing a difference in the amount or the way women approached them as they got older? Maybe I’m way off but it makes sense in my head and I’d love some honest feedback. Men did you notice a difference with age and women did you get bolder/more confident with age?"

The guys in the comments chimed in with a wide variety of diverse answers: Everything from No, to Hell No, to Absolutely Not.


men, masculinity, mens health, flirting, dating, dating advice, dating tips, women, funny, redditHow many ways are there to say No?Giphy

Here are some of the most illuminating responses:

"I can tell you, lady, zero is still zero after 30"

"Guy 35 never been hit on in my life."

"Not in my 20s, not in my 30s, not in my 40s, not in my 50s. Will keep you posted."

"I get hit on twice as often. 200% of zero is also zero"

Here's a screenshot for illustrative purposes, showing guys' answers as to whether they get hit on more after 30:

men, masculinity, mens health, flirting, dating, dating advice, dating tips, women, funny, redditDo guys get hit on after 30? No, no, no, and no.Reddit

"In the US, very few men get hit on in general," one user mused. "It’s probably less than 1% of the adult male population overall. It’s just not really how the culture is here, men are expected to hit on women so most of the time, that’s how it goes."

But wait, there is some hope! At least, according to another guy that chimed in:

"30, nope. 40 maybe a little. 45 yes. 50 absolutely 100%. Maybe it’s the grey hair?"

The conversation is illuminating in a number of ways. First, it says a lot about the male psyche. Second, it says a lot about different communication styles between men and women.

While the comments and responses to the question are pretty funny, especially taken as a whole, they also paint a pretty bleak picture. A lot of men are touch starved and affection starved, lacking basic and necessary intimacy in their everyday lives. They don't get nearly as much physical touch from their parents and are afraid to touch their friends for fear of being judged.

A lot of sitcoms in the 90s and 2000s would frequently play close friendships between men for homoerotic laughs. That's the kind of environment a lot of guys were raised in. The only safe place to get that closeness and intimacy is in a romantic relationship, so for men who are single, the loneliness can be devastating.

men, masculinity, mens health, flirting, dating, dating advice, dating tips, women, funny, redditFor the record, I still love Scrubs.Giphy

Of course, women have to deal with unwanted attention from men that is often downright frightening and can be a threat to their physical safety, so no one needs to shed any tears for the poor men here. But if you've ever wanted to understand what's really going on in the brains and hearts of the men in your life, this thread should tell you a lot.

The other end of this coin is that guys often don't realize when they are being flirted with! Either because they just aren't used to picking up the cues or because the flirting is too subtle and conservative.

It's been shown that women are far more adept at nonverbal communications and cues, whereas men tend to be more direct and vocal in the way they communicate. So it's definitely possible that all the men in the thread have been waiting on the blatantly obvious "YOU'RE HOT!" when the prolonged eye contact and subtle smile were right in front of them the whole time.

Ultimately, maybe it's for the best. If guys thought every common compliment or polite nod was a come-on, that would only serve to make things way worse for women. Men will just have to learn to start hugging and complimenting each other more without fear of judgment.


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