upworthy

dating advice

Popular

Man's side-splitting monologue on why 'women don't want to date anymore' is eerily accurate

The women in the comments are convinced one of them snitched.

Canva Photos

A viral TikTok argues that women don't want to give up the joy of their own personal peace and freedom for anyone.

There's been a lot of discourse on the state of modern dating and a lot of theories on why it seems harder than ever for people to find connection with romantic partners. Could it be that the achievement and education gaps between men and women are altering the dynamics? Have social media and dating apps broken our brains and hearts? Do we all have unrealistic expectations and unlimited options, leading to never feeling satisfied with anything or anyone?

Those are all intriguing options, but an alternate theory has recently arisen that's quickly gaining steam: Maybe being single isn't as lonely as we think. Maybe being single is actually freaking awesome.

A guy on TikTok who goes by Get To the Point Bro shared a hilarious monologue on why women who have been single for a long time "don't want to date anymore." Women say he absolutely nailed it.

 the office, andy bernard, dating, relationships, dating advice, single, romance, love The Frenchman's monologue was absolutely spot on  Giphy  

At first, it might seem like he's poking fun, either at single women or at the men who can't seem to win them over. But not so! What he's done is perfectly captured the joy many people find in being single and, frankly, able to do whatever the hell they want.

"Some women have been single for so long they don't date anymore, they grant you access to their peaceful little empire like a reluctant queen handing you a visitor's badge," he says. "You text her good morning and she's already annoyed, like 'Why are you disturbing the sacred silence of my personal growth journey?'"

He goes on, "Bro she's been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years, she's not giving up that territory because you opened the door and paid for coffee."

"You plan a cute date, she's thinking 'That sounds nice but also I could stay home, deep clean my apartment, do a 12 steps skincare routine, order sushi and not have to listen to a man breathe.'"

"You try to check in emotionally, 'How are you feeling?' She's feeling fantastic because you're not here."

"You're not competing with other guys. There are no other guys. You're competing with her weighted blanket, her peace, her cat named Chairman Meow, and the simple joy of not having to share her fries."

These are just a few of the best lines from the nearly 2-minute rant, all delivered in the most amazing French accent you can imagine. Please, enjoy:


@gettothepointbro

DATING A GIRL WHO IS USED TO BE ALONE CAN BE VERY HARD .

The best thing about the video is the discussion in the comments. Women want to know how this man got access to this top-secret information. The rant is so eerily, frighteningly accurate that women are convinced this French guy is living in their heads. That, or someone's secretly leaking intel.

"dammit. somebody call a meeting of the council. he knows too much."

"I dont often offer this compliment to the male species but you explained it better than I ever could."

"Alright, who’s told him this info??? So exposed right now"

"The joy of sleeping diagonally across my bed cannot be fully explained."

"This is the most accurate profiling I’ve ever heard. You absolutely ailed it."

Clearly, we've tapped into a real phenomenon here.

@gettothepointbro

CAN YOU RELATE LADIES ? THAT’S WHY WE LOVE YOU ❤️

The truth is that many people—both men and women—are disillusioned with the sad state of the dating scene these days. App burnout is a real thing, and meeting new people in real life is a ton of work. So, it's no surprise that more and more people are just choosing to stay single and enjoy all the perks that come along with it. This is a stark change, especially for women.

According to FiveThirtyEight, "Women were also more likely than men to say that they weren’t dating because they have other priorities right now." Priorities like travel, career, friendship, and even just self-care—all things that wind up taking a backseat when people get involved in relationships. It wasn't too long ago that women of a certain age that were still single were called "spinsters," but that word has lost a significant amount of power. This new generation of women aren't embarrassed or ashamed to be single; they're loving it for exactly all the reasons this video describes.

This article originally appeared in April.

From Your Site Articles
single
HumorJoy
Parenting

Single mom teaches 13-year-old son how to date with monthly "practice dates" on a $50 budget

"The idea is you are prepping them for how to take a girl out on a date in the future."

Melissaannmariee/YouTube

Melissa Ann Marie and her 13-year-old son go on "practice dates" each month.

Let's be honest: dating is not easy at any age. For most pre-teens and teens, though, this tender age marks the start of romantic ventures. One mom is making sure her son has a few dating lessons under his belt before going on a real one.

TikToker Melissa Ann Marie (@melissaannmarie), a single mom in California, shared how she is preparing her 13-year-old son to date and be a stand-up partner in the future. She has started a tradition of going on a "practice date" with him once a month, where he does all the planning with a $50 budget (an allowance given to him by her).

"Come with me on a date with my boy 🥹 I heard about this idea from another teen/pre-teen boy mama and we've done this a handful of times now. We always have the best time with it!" she captioned the video.

@melissaannmariee

Come with me on a date with my boy 🥹 I heard about this idea from another teen/pre-teen boy mama and weve done this a handful of times now. We always have the best time with it! Basically you give them an allowance ($50) and they take you out on a date. The idea is you are prepping them for how to take a girl out on a date in the future so they aren’t completely lost when the time comes. So you help them along the way with how to plan and execute a date and you teach them basic etiquette and manners. And while you are teaching them, you get quality time with them which is the best part. What did he learn today?! -to open the doors for his date -not to walk ahead of his date -pay attention to their preferences with things (places they would want to go too) -pull their chair at a dinner table -learned how to give a waiter a non-verbal cue & signal for the check -learned how to make a reservation online -learned how to pay for everything all on his own - to get creative and thoughtful with a date & not a lot of money to spend 👏🏼 He planned a really sweet one this time and I really i enjoyed teaching him these things along the way and getting some one on one time together. I can’t wait to do this again and see what he comes up with. Trying to teach my boy all of these things so he can be the best partner for someone someday 🤍 #boymom #boymomlife #parentsofteens #motherhood #sandiego #fyp #parentingtips #gentleman

In the video, she took viewers on her date with him. He planned a morning date to a cat cafe. The two spent time playing with the cats and sipping on yummy coffee drinks before heading to a coastal walking trail to take in some scenic ocean views. They also stopped for tacos (which set them slightly over the $50 budget), but she notes she had him practice paying with her credit card.

"The idea is you are prepping them for how to take a girl out on a date in the future so they aren’t completely lost when the time comes," she wrote in the caption. "So you help them along the way with how to plan and execute a date and you teach them basic etiquette and manners."

She added that the best part about investing time in teaching him to date is the quality time they spend together.

@melissaannmariee

GRWM for a date with my boy 🥹 I heard about this idea from another teen/pre-teen boy mama and weve done this a handful of times now. We always have the best time with it! Basically you give them an allowance ($50) and they take you out on a date. The idea is you are prepping them for how to take a girl out on a date in the future so they aren’t completely lost when the time comes. So you help them along the way with how to plan and execute a date and you teach them basic etiquette and manners. And while you are teaching them, you get quality time with them which is the best part. What did he learn last night?! -to open the doors for me -not to walk ahead of your date -pay attention to their preferences with things (ex. ask where they want to sit in the movies— not just where YOU want) -pulled my chair for me -learned to give a waiter a non-verbal cue & signal for the check -learned how to pay for everything all on his own - to get creative and thoughtful with not a lot to spend 👏🏼 He planned a really fun one and i enjoyed teaching him these things and getting some one on one time together. I can’t wait to do this again! Trying to teach my boy all of these things so he can be the best partner for someone someday 🤍 #boymom #boymomlife #parentsofteens #motherhood #sandiego #fyp #parentingtips #gentleman

While dating culture may be different today, Melissa Ann Marie notes that she is instilling traditional values when it comes to teaching her son to date. "Trying to teach my boy all of these things so he can be the best partner for someone someday 🤍. What did he learn today?!" she shared, before offering a bullet list of lessons. These included:

  • To open the doors for his date
  • Not to walk ahead of his date
  • To pay attention to their preferences with things (places they would want to go, too)
  • Pull their chair at a dinner table-learned how to give a waiter a non-verbal cue & signal for the check
  • Learned how to make a reservation online
  • Learned how to pay for everything all on his own
  • To get creative and thoughtful with a date & not a lot of money to spend 👏🏼
@melissaannmariee

breaking cycles I never signed up for 💔 #singlemom #soloparent #momandson #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged

Her followers are loving her example of how to teach her son about dating.

"I did Mom/son dates. My son is 23 now and his fiancé says he’s the sweetest guy she’s ever met," one wrote, and Melissa Ann Marie replied, "YES MAMA 👏🏼 we are raising men who will be husbands one day!"

Another added, "You’re going to be such an amazing mother in law, setting him up for success like that! 👏," and she responded, "Yes!! That’s the goal! 🥺"

And another touched viewer wrote, "This is SUCH a good and thoughtful idea. It warms my heart knowing there are parents out there that are doing everything they can to raise gentleman ❤️."

From Your Site Articles
dating
ParentingFamily
Health

Woman wonders if men over 30 get hit on more often and gets a funny reality check

"I get hit on twice as often. 200% of zero is also zero."

Canva Photos

Guys had a good laugh when a woman asked if they get hit on more now that they're older

I can remember a very few instances in my life of being obviously hit on, most of them in college. Once, when working retail, a girl came into the store and slipped me her number without so much as saying a word. Later, I was working as a pizza delivery driver when a girl I'd delivered to had her friend call the store and get my phone number. A woman's voice inside one the houses, as I was handing over a fresh pizza, once yelled out that I was "hot."

If it sounds like bragging, please don't be mistaken. It has been a VERY long time since anything like that happened. What's funny is that through all the many years since and the hazy memories of college, and though I'm quite happily married now, I remember those instances extremely well, probably because they are so few and far between throughout my life.

A 24 year old woman recently took to social media to ask an interesting question about flirting and aging: "Do women start hitting on men more once you’re 30+?"


men, masculinity, mens health, flirting, dating, dating advice, dating tips, women, funny, redditGuys won't recognize flirting unless it looks like this.Giphy

In a post on r/AskMenAdvice, a woman reported that her husband was feeling insecure because whenever they'd go out, she would get hit on by men. Sometimes the attention would take the form of random guys coming up to the husband and telling him "how lucky he is." (As a husband myself, I can confirm that we hate that.) Other times, when she went out alone, men would be more direct in their attempts to flirt with her.

She tried to comfort him by assuring him that he was extremely handsome and one day, the tables would turn.

"I told him I think men start getting hit on/approached more when they get past 30. I guess I believe women start to get more confident with approaching with age. Also once women start getting older they do not get approached like they did in their prime causing them to reach out. Is this just a bad assumption?" she wrote.

Then she asked for input. "Did men start noticing a difference in the amount or the way women approached them as they got older? Maybe I’m way off but it makes sense in my head and I’d love some honest feedback. Men did you notice a difference with age and women did you get bolder/more confident with age?"

The guys in the comments chimed in with a wide variety of diverse answers: Everything from No, to Hell No, to Absolutely Not.


men, masculinity, mens health, flirting, dating, dating advice, dating tips, women, funny, redditHow many ways are there to say No?Giphy

Here are some of the most illuminating responses:

"I can tell you, lady, zero is still zero after 30"

"Guy 35 never been hit on in my life."

"Not in my 20s, not in my 30s, not in my 40s, not in my 50s. Will keep you posted."

"I get hit on twice as often. 200% of zero is also zero"

Here's a screenshot for illustrative purposes, showing guys' answers as to whether they get hit on more after 30:

men, masculinity, mens health, flirting, dating, dating advice, dating tips, women, funny, redditDo guys get hit on after 30? No, no, no, and no.Reddit

"In the US, very few men get hit on in general," one user mused. "It’s probably less than 1% of the adult male population overall. It’s just not really how the culture is here, men are expected to hit on women so most of the time, that’s how it goes."

But wait, there is some hope! At least, according to another guy that chimed in:

"30, nope. 40 maybe a little. 45 yes. 50 absolutely 100%. Maybe it’s the grey hair?"

The conversation is illuminating in a number of ways. First, it says a lot about the male psyche. Second, it says a lot about different communication styles between men and women.

While the comments and responses to the question are pretty funny, especially taken as a whole, they also paint a pretty bleak picture. A lot of men are touch starved and affection starved, lacking basic and necessary intimacy in their everyday lives. They don't get nearly as much physical touch from their parents and are afraid to touch their friends for fear of being judged.

A lot of sitcoms in the 90s and 2000s would frequently play close friendships between men for homoerotic laughs. That's the kind of environment a lot of guys were raised in. The only safe place to get that closeness and intimacy is in a romantic relationship, so for men who are single, the loneliness can be devastating.

men, masculinity, mens health, flirting, dating, dating advice, dating tips, women, funny, redditFor the record, I still love Scrubs.Giphy

Of course, women have to deal with unwanted attention from men that is often downright frightening and can be a threat to their physical safety, so no one needs to shed any tears for the poor men here. But if you've ever wanted to understand what's really going on in the brains and hearts of the men in your life, this thread should tell you a lot.

The other end of this coin is that guys often don't realize when they are being flirted with! Either because they just aren't used to picking up the cues or because the flirting is too subtle and conservative.

It's been shown that women are far more adept at nonverbal communications and cues, whereas men tend to be more direct and vocal in the way they communicate. So it's definitely possible that all the men in the thread have been waiting on the blatantly obvious "YOU'RE HOT!" when the prolonged eye contact and subtle smile were right in front of them the whole time.

Ultimately, maybe it's for the best. If guys thought every common compliment or polite nod was a come-on, that would only serve to make things way worse for women. Men will just have to learn to start hugging and complimenting each other more without fear of judgment.


From Your Site Articles
men
HealthMen's Health
Pop Culture

People agree these 19 things are weirdly romanticized, but are actually huge red flags

"The idea of someone cheating on their spouse to pursue you. How is that romantic? Please be serious."

Photo credit: Canva

One person's romantic is another person's cringe.

We all love a good love story. The grand gestures, the unbridled spontaneity, and those "against all odds” moments that give relationships a dose of movie magic are everything. But, sometimes, the things we’ve been taught to swoon over—whether that be due to pop culture or more overarching societal trends—are actually pretty toxic when you stop to think about them.

Recently, someone asked folks to share their own examples of behaviors that are “weirdly romanticized” but are actually major red flags once you look past the glossy surface, and honestly, it’s eye-opening.

Here are some of the most surprising (and perhaps unsettling) examples they shared. One major category belonged to those tropes we see in many, many television shows, movies, and even songs…

1. "Having someone who is completely obsessed with you."

dating, modern dating, dating apps, romance, romance tips, relationships, relationship red flags, relationship green flagsmedia1.giphy.com

2. "Enemies to lovers. It's cute in theory, but how can you be with someone when you know all the disgusting things they've said about you before your relationship?"

3. "I used to love the 'asshole-to-everyone-except-you' trope until he started being an asshole to my friends. Some tropes are meant to stay fictional."

4. "The 'I'm just a girl' trend and other TikTok trends that are used to deflect any accountability or responsibility as an adult human being."

dating, modern dating, dating apps, romance, romance tips, relationships, relationship red flags, relationship green flagsmedia4.giphy.com

5. "The idea of someone cheating on their spouse to pursue you. How is that romantic? Please be serious."

6. "Pressuring someone to hurry up and put a ring on it."

Two people brought differing, yet equally important views on work/love life balance.

7. "Sacrificing your professional or personal life to pursue someone."

8. "Honestly, I think we conflate hard work with unhealthy boundaries between the self and career, and we romanticize working overtime, long shifts, and doing excessive tasks as a display of personal growth. We've manipulated ourselves into feeling that giving our time to pursue our work is noble. I'm saying this as a student in medicine, where hours are absolutely wild. I know I'll work my hardest, but I won't sacrifice my sense of self and my time to eke out my own passions and life just to get ahead in my career track. At least, I hope I don't lose sight of myself in the pursuit of following my dreams. It can be really hard not to notice that that's where you're headed until you've already sacrificed so much."

How folks handle—or don’t handle—conflict also was a major red flag.

9. "Not being confrontational. Needless confrontation is bad, but sometimes, you do need to confront someone."

10. "Fighting all the time. No, it doesn't mean that your relationship is 'passionate.' It means that you're probably incompatible and shouldn't be together."

dating, modern dating, dating apps, romance, romance tips, relationships, relationship red flags, relationship green flagsmedia.giphy.com

Finally, this category belongs to things that many people think often carry a hidden warning, even if they seem workable, even harmless, at first.

11. "I knew a girl whose boyfriend went everywhere with her. He wouldn't let her go anywhere if he weren't there, and she thought it was cute how 'possessive' he was over her. It thoroughly icked me out when she told me. Like, that is not healthy at all."

12. "Being a 'free spirit.' Like, there's a gray area, but there's a time and place to be inhibited and misbehave. Not following rules in public settings because you're 'free' gets old really fast."

13. "Being the charismatic 'heavy drinker' in friend groups. Goes for men and women."

14. "When people say things like, 'He's just broken,' as if it's something romantic. Having pain doesn't justify cruelty, and loving someone shouldn't mean bleeding just to make them feel whole."

15. "People who brag about not being interested in reading or learning. Here in the US, there is a huge anti-curiosity or anti-intellect movement, and people will literally brag about being ignorant."

16. "Being over controlling. My coworker thinks it's adorable when they say stuff like, 'My husband would kill me if I got a tattoo there!' Gross. Sorry that your husband is so fragile."

17. "People who constantly post about their partner. It's not romantic, it's performative. Real love doesn't need a PR campaign."

18. "'Traditional values.'"

dating, modern dating, dating apps, romance, romance tips, relationships, relationship red flags, relationship green flagsmedia3.giphy.com

Lastly, perhaps the oldest red flag in the book…

19. "The idea that playing games or being 'hard to get' in a cruel way will make their crush or interest want them more."

Note the one gesture that no one mentioned as un-romantic: flowers. Just sayin'.

From Your Site Articles
relationships
Pop CultureInternet
Trending Stories