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Dad's 7-week paternity leave after birth of second child changes his entire parenting outlook

"These past seven weeks really opened up my eyes on how the household has actually ran, and 110% of that is because of my wife."

@ustheremingtons/TikTok

Dad's paternity leave was eye-opening.

Participating in paternity leave offers fathers so much more than an opportunity to bond with their new kids. It also allows them to help around the house and take on domestic responsibilities that many new mothers have to face alone while also tending to a newborn. All in all, it enables couples to handle the daunting new chapter as a team, making it less stressful on both parties (Or at least equally stressful on both parties. Now that's equity!).

TikTok creator and dad Caleb Remington, from the popular account @ustheremingtons, confesses that for baby number one, he wasn’t able to take a “single day of paternity leave.” This time around, for baby number two, Remington had the privilege of taking seven weeks off (to be clear, his employer offered four weeks, and he used an additional three weeks of PTO).

The time off changed Remington’s entire outlook on parenting, and his insights are something all parents could probably use.

dad, baby, parenting, paternity leave, fatherhood, parenthoodBaby sleeping in Dad's arms.Image via Canva

“It's unfortunately the end of my maternity —ahem— paternity leave,” Remington quips at the beginning of his video via voiceover. “I only joke because my wife is truly the man of the house. And call me what you want, but I am totally okay with that.”

He then shares that after getting to spend quality time with his family to create precious memories—losing track of time to “watch ants cross the sidewalk,” for instance—he feels “guilty” about not doing so with their firstborn.

“[It] made me realize how many of those small moments I missed out the first time, but I'm looking past that guilt and grateful that I had some time to make it up,” he says.

You’ll notice that during this entire video, Remington is also doing chores. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, washing dishes, wiping the countertops…you get the picture.

@ustheremingtons

I (caleb) am getting ready to go back into work and i am not ready. Grateful for my four weeks plus 3 weeks of PTO, but i feel like we were just getting into a groove and i was finally getting to have some 1 on 1 time with my son. Picking up the house today because we all function better with a clean space and we haven’t had time to do much of it while surviving these past 7 weeks. I do work from home and find that I have a little more flexibility in helping out here and there but i am also pretty glued and have to be zoned in during work hours. I do however have some pretty awesome and understanding coworkers and company!Shout out to @SAMBAZON Açaí 👊 Tiff is an all star: working and stay at home mom. I am dedicated in doing better to help balance more of the domestic responsibilities. #paternityleave #dadtok #dadsover30 #dadlife #fyp #foryoupage #ditl #ditlvlog #maternityleave #newbornlife #newbornbaby #secondbaby #2under2 #toddlerlife

Why is he doing this? His wife, aka “the lady with the milk bags,” has been so stressed with the house being messy that Remington decided to focus on doing all the house cleaning so that she could spend time with the kids.

Doing his fair share of the domestic labor is something Remington admits to failing at their first time around. Spending seven weeks taking on more responsibilities, however, opened his eyes to the fact that what he previously saw as doing his “fair share” was actually doing “the bare minimum.”

cleaning, housework, parenting, parents, chores, kidsFor some households, one's fair share can be the bare minimum.

“It has taken multiple conversations—and many ongoing ones—to truly master how to take on more of the mental load of raising children, growing our marriage and taking care of our investments like our home,” Remington shares, noting that communication really is key.

Lastly, Remington reflects on how the emotional turbulence of being new parents challenged his relationship, even though he and his wife were good communicators and aware of how much effort would be required.

“I honestly hated how much we fought, how much I felt misunderstood, and how much I misunderstood her…so now as second-time parents, I feel like we're a little bit more prepared. Prepared in how we talk to each other, prepared in how I balance work, life, and personal life, and prepared to just let things go,” he says. These are definitely valuable insights for anyone navigating baby number one. Or number five, for that matter.

Remington’s story stands as a great example of just how beneficial paternity leave can be. It offers priceless bonding time, an equal balance of responsibilities, and more time for much needed reflection as parents begin a pivotal new chapter in their lives. What's more, research has shown that paternity leave can actually aid Dad's brains in adapting to parenthood, according to Harvard Business Review.

Today, things have slowed down and revved up as both Remington kids are a little older. What hasn't changed, though, is what everyone learned from those seven weeks of paternity leave: having time to be with one's family, especially during crucial moments of growth and hardship, can make a world of difference. And, one thing's for sure: the Remingtons are committed to figuring it all out with love and grace (and it looks like they're doing great).

@ustheremingtons

Send us all the Bend, OR fooddddiee spots please! Little roadtrip to the mountains so our babies can enjoy the snow 🫰#roadtrip #bend #bendoregon #familytime #familyfun #snow #snowday #toddlerhood #toddlerlife #momanddad #roadtrips #snowfall #fyp #relatable


This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Pop Culture

Dad challenges his Gen Z daughter to figure out 3 things about a U-haul truck

The look on her face when she sees the manual window.

@davidcsmalley/TikTok

But can she start it?

David C. Smalley, a comedian and podcaster, regularly gives us some generational humor by exposing his 19-year-old daughter Talissa to relics of the past. You know, things like CDs, phonebooks, remote controllers…feeling old yet?

Recently, Smalley challenged Talissa with navigating a standard U-Haul storage truck. She had to 1) unlock the door 2) roll down a window and 3) start the engine.

For those of us who grew up before the 90s, this might sound like the easiest challenge ever. But apparently, for Gen Z, it’s like being asked to maneuver a horse and buggy.

Despite growing up in a key fob generation, where simply pressing a button on a tiny remote controller could magically open doors, Talissa aced unlocking the door with a key.

Next, she was understandably baffled over the amount of physical labor required to simply roll down a window.

“Are you serious? They haven’t updated that?!” she exclaimed while doing the tedious hand-cranking move we all know so well. “Are you kidding me?! I would not do this every time.”

She definitely had a point on this one. Electronic windows have been the standard for decades. Is U-Haul just sentimental or what?

Having checked off two of the three tasks, Talissa then had to start the car—which proved to be the biggest challenge of all.

Looking on the center console, where she’s used to seeing the ignition button, Talissa found the airbag and radio (two foreign objects in their own right) but no way to start the car.

Finally…success! Talissa found the ignition hiding behind the steering wheel.

“I’m not going to make it explode, am I?” she joked as she turned the key and celebrated her victory.

Watch below. Hearing Talissa ask if the radio is a “fidget game” is entertainment in itself.

@davidcsmalley #daughterissues #daughterpod ♬ original sound - David C. Smalley

It’s always fun to see the ways in which different generations navigate the world through fashion, slang, entertainment, dating, food, the list goes on. But technology, which continues to evolve at a rapid rate, always feels like the biggest culture shock.

And unlike bell bottoms, outdated tech rarely makes a comeback. So once the more energy efficient, more convenient appliance becomes mainstream, its predecessor is forever obsolete. Unless of course you count the cool, hipster folks hanging onto vinyl for the superior sound quality.

Speaking of vinyl, Talissa was also previously challenged by Smalley to work a record player, to equal hilarity:

@davidcsmalley #daughterissues #daughterpod #genz #genx #recordplayers #vinyl #talissa ♬ original sound - David C. Smalley

Somehow, seeing how far we’ve come through the look of bafflement from the young ones is the only thing that never gets old.

Enjoy more fun interactions from Smalley and Talissa on TikTok.


This article originally appeared on 9.25.23

From Your Site Articles
comedy
Fatherhood

Dad gives his daughter a 'pick a card' adventure and her choices were adorable

Best. Night. Ever.

Photo by Jonas Kakaroto on Unsplash
man siting with girl on focus photography

Have you seen those “pick a card date nights” floating around on TikTok?

It’s usually reserved for romantic couples, and shows one partner picking from two pieces of paper labeled with different activities like “picnic in the park” or “dinner and a movie.” They won’t be able to see what’s on the card until they choose, and it’s always fun to see their reaction after the fact … especially when they accidentally pick a chore. Yeah, some partners go there.

One dad decided to take the idea and add his own twist—taking his young daughter out on their own "pick a card" adventure. Absolute cuteness ensued.

Joshua Chavez first presented his daughter, Indie, cards, which read “shopping spree at Target,” and “trip to Disney World.” Indie chose the former.

In case you were thinking, ah man, poor thing missed out on Disney, Indie is seen jumping up and down with excitement after realizing new toys are in store. So I think she’s fine.

Next thing we know, the pair are seen cruising through the toy aisle, Indie’s kiddie-sized shopping cart already filled to the brim.

Next, it was between sushi or Starbucks. Sushi won. Indie gasps, elated, and then we see the pair noshing happily.

Finally it’s between a tea party or a spa night. Indie chose a spa night—complete with foot rubs, cucumbers on the eyes … the whole shebang. Dad joined in too. Too stinkin’ cute.

@thechavezfamilyy The best date of my life 🤎 #dadsoftiktok #momsoftiktok ♬ Half the Man - Jennifer Smestad

“The best date of my life,” the father wrote in his caption.

The video, posted by Madison Chavez, mama of the family, quickly rose to 4.3 million views on TikTok. People not only loved the pure sweetness of it all, but also how this dad was stepping up in a big way for his little girl.

Here are just a few things people are saying:

“Brought a tear to my eye thinking about my daughter. Good to see positive fatherhood.”

“She will remember this for the rest of her life.”

“From the girls who never got this, thank you sir. That’s one lucky baby!”

“Bro, you are the epitome of what a man should be. That is so beautiful. I can truly see you love your daughter like Iove mine. Thank you for showing.”

“Cherish the moment, they grow up so fast.”


It’s no secret that the relationship we share with our parents during early childhood can have a profound and lasting effect on our adult lives. This dad understands that the bond between a father and his daughter is an important one to foster. And, as he has demonstrated, even the simplest activities can create positive core memories. No dad is perfect, but putting in real effort can make a world of difference in a child’s life.

Here's to more daddy-daughter "pick a card" adventures!


This article originally appeared on 1.7.23

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Family

Dad and tween daughter show how their family 'co-sleeps' together

Their viral video has people debating when co-sleeping should end.

@deal_family/TikTok

Co-sleeping asa family might not be mainstream anymore, but it was once totally the norm.

Like virtually any aspect of parenting, co-sleeping, aka bed sharing, can be a bit of a controversial topic.

Sleeping together as a singular family unit is a much older practice, dating as far back as the Medieval Era—when sleeping separately was both unsafe and unattainable for most.

Today, it is generally recommended to have children sleeping on their own by the age of five, although plenty of parents will still share a bed with their 12 to 13-year-olds from time to time. In other words, there are no hard and fast rules—though many have strong opinions.

And while it certainly isn’t mainstream anymore, some families opt for the more classic sleeping approach.

Take the Deal family, for example.

In a video posted to TikTok, Brandon Deal and his 12-year-old daughter, McKenzi, show their unconventional sleeping layout.

“When people find out that we're a co-sleeping family, they think we all pile up on one bed. That is not the case,” Brandon says, explaining that he, his wife Megan, and their smaller daughter Sarah Grace share a king size bed, while McKenzi sleeps in her own twin size bed placed at the foot of the king-sized bed.

@deal_family Anyone else co-sleep?? #cosleeping #familygoals #parentsoftiktok ♬ original sound - The Deal Family

Brandon asks his daughter why she sleeps in the twin bed in their bedroom, to which she replies, “I don't know, it's a little safer.” It’s unclear if she means sleeping in her own bed feels safer (lest she be whacked by three other pairs of feet) or that sleeping in the room with her family feels safer.

Brandon then says that when Sarah Grace potentially becomes “too big” to share the bed with her parents, that she’ll also get her own twin sized bed.

It wasn’t long before the clip received thousands of views on TikTok, with viewers sharing their bafflement at the arrangement.

“I can barely handle co-sleeping with my husband,” one person wrote.

Others were totally on board with the idea, even sharing their own co-sleeping stories.

One person commented, "You keep co-sleeping until those kiddos decide to sleep in their own beds ♥️”

Another added “We co-slept with our oldest til 12, our son til 10. We lived remote in the woods, my kids are grown and amazing keep doing you guys❤❤🙏.”

Still, others feared that the enmeshment could cause codependency issues long term, and get in the way of parents maintaining intimacy.

One person wrote, “As a child I know how safe it feels to sleep with your parents, but as a married woman I realize how important it is to not let my kids sleep w us.”

And while there’s perhaps validity coming from both sides of this argument, most behavioral experts would agree that neither choice is necessarily superior to the other. As James McKenna, PhD, an anthropologist specializing both in sleep behavior and infancy development says, "location is not as important as relationships—how parents build attachment and love.”

The Deal’s sleep strategy might not be suitable for others, but they have customized a plan that seems to work for them. May every family have the freedom and information they need to do the same.


This article originally appeared on 11.3.23

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