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Modern Families

36-year-old grabs and flips the camera during 'Happy Birthday' song. It's actually genius.

Who needs a boring video of a grown adult staring at a cake when you can have this?

Canva Photos

The birthday girl grabbed the camera and turned it around while party guests sang—and the result was amazing.

No proper birthday celebration is complete without an off-key rendition of "Happy Birthday" sung by a number of friends and family members of various vocal talents. Even as an adult, you may not have an elaborate party, but it's still nice to enjoy that small moment: A small cake, cupcake, or other treat, and 30 seconds of love and recognition from the people who mean the most to you.

Inevitably, someone will whip out their phone to record the occasion. If you've been the birthday person recently, you know it's a little uncomfortable to have someone filming you as you stare at the cake and smile politely, waiting for the song to end. And besides, who wants to watch that video back anyway?

One woman is going viral on social media for giving the dry, overdone "Happy Birthday" video a clever twist.

birthday, birthday party, aging, selfies, photography, pictures, memories, family, love, culture, smartphones A good reminder to never take it for granted when you have people to help you celebrate. Photo by Bave Pictures on Unsplash

Deniz Kayiket recently posted a reel captioned: "It took me 36 years to realize you're supposed to record birthday videos the other way around."

In the video, she's shown sitting at a table as someone presents her with a cake that's adorned with lit candles, including a fancy, sparkly one in the middle. Kayiket then reaches out for the camera phone, taking it away from whoever's filming, and spins the camera around to capture the audience of friends and family in attendance.

The result is so joyful and full of life I can't believe everyone doesn't take videos like this.

The clip went mega viral to the tune of over 10 million views and hundreds of thousands of responses.

People found the idea of Kayiket capturing not her own celebratory milestone, but the people who had gathered to help her make it special, so overwhelmingly beautiful.

"Ohhh how i wish this happened when I was a kid! What i wouldn't give to see those people again"

"Sometimes it's hard to simply realize, those that you surround yourself with may not always be there. But cherish each moment with them. Life's too short for arguments, negativity, or past problems. You never know when's the last time you'll see someone you love."

birthday, birthday party, aging, selfies, photography, pictures, memories, family, love, culture, smartphones No party is too small to make a great memory. Giphy

The comments kept rolling in on TikTok, where the clip racked up another nearly three million views:

"Im jealous on what you get to look back on. I never made my birthdays relevant enough to remember"

"Why is this the sweetest thing ever"

"The fact that she thought to do this shows how aware and appreciative she is for everything she has. This is not someone who takes things for granted"

Some commenters claimed that the real 'trick' is to be in the moment and focused on the people around you without any phones or cameras at all. But that sentiment, while valid, misses the point.

"Whenever I watch the videos and photos of my past birthdays I feels so grateful for taking them, memories fade, photos and videos stay," someone astutely noted.

In an era where photos and videos have become so ubiquitous, it's crucial to find ways to make them really count.

With 91% of Americans owning an iPhone or equivalent smartphone, we have the capacity to take a nearly unlimited number of photos and videos. It can be a great thing. You'll never miss a moment anymore! You'll never be unpleasantly surprised to find your film print ruined by bad lighting or a thumb over the lens (which happened to me too many times when I was younger). But there's also something about the unlimited-ness of it all that has made photos and video less special.

(There was something amazing about the era of old photo albums, where you might have one good picture of a birthday party, or just a handful of shots with a relative who died when you were young. It's nice to have more, but those felt incredibly meaningful. Now the average user has upwards of 2000 photos stored on their devices, and even that seems like a conservative estimate.)

When I watch Kayiket's video, I can't help but think of the old photography advice that says something to the effect of, "If a photo doesn't have someone you love in it, you'll never look at it again."

I think about it all the time when I'm trying to capture a sunset or take in a breathtaking view. The photo never does it justice, anyway, and I never go back and look at them. But I do want to see photos of my friends and family in meaningful moments, big and small. I definitely don't need a zillion more photos of myself, but I would pay really good money to have a video like hers from birthdays past of my parents, relatives who have since passed away, and old friends who got together to sing and congratulate me.

So, if you're a grown adult with a birthday coming up, try this cool trick. Grab the camera and flip it around while your loved ones clap and celebrate. It'll be a unique and amazing video to look back on one day.

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DHS Deputy Secretary John Tien Participates in Navy Birthd… | Flickr

There are a few types of people who always show up around the dining room table when the birthday cake arrives. There's the dutiful person who is nice enough to volunteer to cut and serve the cake for everyone.

There's the person who begs for the piece with the most frosting. Then there's the person who wants as little frosting as possible.

There's also the party-goer who asks for the little sliver of cake and the guy who has no problem taking a slice as big as his head. Let's not forget the cake pusher whose job it is to make sure you take some extra slices home.

"Please take some home so I don't eat it," they beg, patting their tummy.


Making everyone happy during the ceremonial cake cutting is no easy task.

But now, a game-changing video on TikTok has completely changed the cake-cutting conversation. It eliminates the cake server, long knife, serving plates, spatula, and replaces it with joyous anarchy.

A TikTok video with over 460,000 likes shows a family celebrating a woman's 20th birthday, and after she blows out the candles, each person takes out a wine glass and scoops up a mound of cake.

It's an easy, streamlined way to make sure everyone gets what they want without having to bother anyone to cut and distribute the pieces. Everyone gets to grab the slice they like and in the amount they desire, without having to negotiate.

It's also a fun way to do things as a group. It would be savage to have a bunch of people scooping up cake with spoons, but with wine glasses, it's fancy.

The only drawback is that this technique really favors the pro-frosting constituency.

@theroseperiod

Happy 20th birthday to my Jules!#twenty#fyp#birthdaycake#wineglasses#tiktokmom

Duff Goldman, "Ace of Cakes" star and executive chef of the Baltimore-based Charm City Cakes shop, told Bustle the idea is genius. "Each person can come in with their own cup and get their own serving — it's a nice communal experience where each person can interact with the cake and each other," he said.

"This is a game-changer," one person said on TikTok.

"This is blowing my mind. Why have I never thought of this?" said another woman, who called it "genius."

"A cake hack that I can get behind," another added. "I will never eat cake another way."

The cake hack is a great idea, but one has to be sure that the cake is at room temperature. This could get downright dangerous if used on an ice cream cake or one with a hard filling. Also, you probably want to avoid using super-expensive Tiffany wine glasses that could easily shatter or eating out of the glass with metal utensils.

Ok, TikTokkers that hack was brilliant, your next challenge is to figure out how to eat pie with a wine glass.


This article originally appeared on 12.21.20





Family

Mom causes a stir after saying she won't be doing yearly birthday parties for her kid

“I just don't want a bunch of people sitting around at my house all day...”

Representative Image from Canva

Are birthday parties every year required for kids?

Parents want to do right by their kids. Make them feel special, let them have fun and give them opportunities to enjoy magic before adulthood sets in. And yet, that desire can easily be suppressed by the need to keep up with the lavish events constantly seen on social media.

For many families, over-the-top activities are simply not feasible—especially ones that come year after year like birthdays. So many are going against societal expectations and instead choosing traditions that work for their unique situation. Opting for experiences over expensive gifts, for example, or having one-on-one family time instead of parties with friends.

For Marissa Light, it looks a little more like not even doing a birthday party every year.

“Under no circumstances will I be throwing my daughter a birthday party every single year,” Light said in a now-viral TikTok video. “Here's the deal: She is getting a first birthday party, she is getting a Sweet Sixteen and she is getting a graduation party. Other than that, she is not getting any more birthday parties."

And perhaps Light isn’t totally off-base in her reasoning. According to PBS, kids don’t even remember birthday parties until after they are three-years-old. That’s essentially $400 (the average amount parents spend on their kid’s party) going towards a core memory that won’t even exist.

Light went on to say that she had been to other kids' parties which were “not enjoyable” and she didn’t want to force that experience on others unnecessarily. That being said, she added, “Now look, if you are someone who genuinely enjoys throwing your child a birthday party, pop off, Queen. Do what you want to do. I'm not telling anyone else how to live their lives. I just personally don't find it necessary and I'm not going to be doing it.”

@marissalight It’s been a minute since I’ve given you a #hotmomtake … you’re welcome. #babybirthdayparty #momsoftiktok #momtok #firsttimemom #sahm #momcontent #millenialmom #birthdayparty ♬ original sound - Marissa | Lifestyle | SAHM

But that doesn’t mean that no celebrations will be had. The family will still have “dinner and cake with them every single year,” plus their daughter would get an 'All About You' day” where she would enjoy a “special breakfast” and activities of her choosing, like princess dress up, a trip to the trampoline park, etc. And when siblings come, Light’s daughter will be able to choose whether or not she wants them included in whatever birthday shenanigans are happening. So all in all, a pretty sweet deal.

This option just feels more exciting and less taxing, Light explains. While she understands that party planning is some people’s jam, she admits “it's a lot of stress on my part to organize and plan and put on the party… I just don't want a bunch of people sitting around at my house all day."

Light’s video, as most parenting videos are wont to do, drew both heavy praise and criticism.

Many thought that her choices were depriving her daughter, and not really prioritizing her happiness. This was especially true for adults who didn’t have parties growing up.

“As someone who didn’t get birthday parties, please do that for your kid,” one person wrote.

Another added, “I never had bday parties growing up, and I was always jealous of kids in my class who got them.”

Still, others found promise in the idea.

““An introverted kid will love this. Just make sure that you're celebrating that kid the way they'd like. Not the way you want to celebrate them,” one person commented.

“I LOVE the idea of experiences, so if they want to go to a show or an amusement park for their birthday.”

Some even offered up their own unconventional non-party ideas. One parent wrote, “I just bring my kids to the park with a bunch of cupcakes and any kid at the park is included.”

Whether you can or cannot get behind Light’s take on birthday parties, we can probably all agree that our energy is often best spent doing things we truly want to do. Maybe some parents will still want to arrange a get together for their friends every year. But hopefully this conversation can at least offer some permission to do so in a way that doesn’t take a huge toll. There are so many ways to make a birthday special, after all.

Kat Stickler isn't happy about what happened to her daughter.

A mother on TikTok is livid after a perceived slight at a birthday party, and it kicked off a passionate discussion about proper parental etiquette. It all started when popular TikTok creator Kat Stickler, 28, took her 3-year-old daughter Mary-Katherine (MK) to a neighborhood park in Florida to play. While at the park, the young girl struck up a friendship with some children who were there for a birthday party.

“I’m going to mom shame. The only people I’ve ever mom-shamed are myself and my own mother. But one other mother is going to be added to the list," Stickler began her video with over 10 million views.

“It was us and this birthday group, right?” Stickler said, adding that her child played with the kids who were there for a party for about 30 minutes. “I thought they were welcoming her with open arms,” she added.

However, things changed after the cake came out.


When the parents at the birthday party began to serve cake, MK lined up with the rest of the kids because they had been playing together. Remember, she’s only 3 years old. So, Stickler approached the people cutting the cake to make sure that it was OK for her daughter to have a piece.

“So I, like, walk over to make sure it’s OK—as a formality. Honestly, I was like, obviously, it’s OK. It’s cake. It’s a massive cake. There’s lots of leftover pieces,” Stickler recalled.

@katstickler

No cake for me thanks, I’m full…of rage👹

But according to Stickler, it wasn’t OK, and after MK was served a piece, the mother of the child having the birthday took it away from her.

“The mother takes the plate away from MK, and gets down to her level, and says, ‘You can not eat this cake, OK? This is not your birthday party. These are not your friends. Where’s your mother?’” Stickler said. She couldn’t believe her eyes when a grown adult took her daughter’s cake out of her hands.

“I was right there,” Stickler told Today.com. “The mama bear in me was like, what just happened?"

Over 54,000 people took to TikTok to give their opinion on the story. Most thought the mother who took the cake was way out of line.

"I would be livid!!" Chelsea Campbell wrote. "I shared cake and cupcakes with all of the kids at the park for my daughter's first birthday. They became her and my other daughters' friends and I had plenty…the nerve she had to bend down and say that."

"Public park means you better be prepared for extra! Like how dare she even speak to her like that," Patience Swinford agreed.

"The cake didn’t get me… 'these are not your friends' is such a catty messed up thing to say to anyone, let alone a child," Hovago08 added.

But some people thought it was wrong for Stickler to allow her daughter to hang around during the cake-cutting.

"That is so sad BUT that wasn’t a party she was invited to so I would’ve grabbed my kid as soon as happy birthday started. It is a bit entitled," Josephine Mary wrote.

"Although it is VERY RUDE, it is the mom's right to tell MK no to cake bc she technically wasn’t invited," Abby wrote.

Some sat on the fence.

"I’m the mom that would call my kid away once they went over for cake, but I’m also the mom that’d offer cake to the 'extra' kid,'" Tessa Lewis wrote.

Brian Fike had a very practical response to the situation. “I'm inviting every kid in the park over because I'm not trying to bring all that cake home,” he said.

In the end, MK got over it because, after the party mishap, her mother took her to get some ice cream.

“She was totally fine,” Stickler said. “She was excited to go get ice cream with me!”