upworthy
Family

Mom is livid after an adult took birthday cake from her 3-year-old daughter. But is she right?

Do new friends get cake?

cake, kat stickler, parenting debates
via Kat Stickler/TikTok and Pezibear/Pixabay

Kat Stickler isn't happy about what happened to her daughter.

A mother on TikTok is livid after a perceived slight at a birthday party, and it kicked off a passionate discussion about proper parental etiquette. It all started when popular TikTok creator Kat Stickler, 28, took her 3-year-old daughter Mary-Katherine (MK) to a neighborhood park in Florida to play. While at the park, the young girl struck up a friendship with some children who were there for a birthday party.

“I’m going to mom shame. The only people I’ve ever mom-shamed are myself and my own mother. But one other mother is going to be added to the list," Stickler began her video with over 10 million views.

“It was us and this birthday group, right?” Stickler said, adding that her child played with the kids who were there for a party for about 30 minutes. “I thought they were welcoming her with open arms,” she added.

However, things changed after the cake came out.

When the parents at the birthday party began to serve cake, MK lined up with the rest of the kids because they had been playing together. Remember, she’s only 3 years old. So, Stickler approached the people cutting the cake to make sure that it was OK for her daughter to have a piece.

“So I, like, walk over to make sure it’s OK—as a formality. Honestly, I was like, obviously, it’s OK. It’s cake. It’s a massive cake. There’s lots of leftover pieces,” Stickler recalled.

@katstickler

No cake for me thanks, I’m full…of rage👹

But according to Stickler, it wasn’t OK, and after MK was served a piece, the mother of the child having the birthday took it away from her.

“The mother takes the plate away from MK, and gets down to her level, and says, ‘You can not eat this cake, OK? This is not your birthday party. These are not your friends. Where’s your mother?’” Stickler said. She couldn’t believe her eyes when a grown adult took her daughter’s cake out of her hands.

“I was right there,” Stickler told Today.com. “The mama bear in me was like, what just happened?"

Over 54,000 people took to TikTok to give their opinion on the story. Most thought the mother who took the cake was way out of line.

"I would be livid!!" Chelsea Campbell wrote. "I shared cake and cupcakes with all of the kids at the park for my daughter's first birthday. They became her and my other daughters' friends and I had plenty…the nerve she had to bend down and say that."

"Public park means you better be prepared for extra! Like how dare she even speak to her like that," Patience Swinford agreed.

"The cake didn’t get me… 'these are not your friends' is such a catty messed up thing to say to anyone, let alone a child," Hovago08 added.

But some people thought it was wrong for Stickler to allow her daughter to hang around during the cake-cutting.

"That is so sad BUT that wasn’t a party she was invited to so I would’ve grabbed my kid as soon as happy birthday started. It is a bit entitled," Josephine Mary wrote.

"Although it is VERY RUDE, it is the mom's right to tell MK no to cake bc she technically wasn’t invited," Abby wrote.

Some sat on the fence.

"I’m the mom that would call my kid away once they went over for cake, but I’m also the mom that’d offer cake to the 'extra' kid,'" Tessa Lewis wrote.

Brian Fike had a very practical response to the situation. “I'm inviting every kid in the park over because I'm not trying to bring all that cake home,” he said.

In the end, MK got over it because, after the party mishap, her mother took her to get some ice cream.

“She was totally fine,” Stickler said. “She was excited to go get ice cream with me!”

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Science

What will Earth look like if all its land ice melts? These maps show the clear answer.

Climate change isn't pretty.

via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

A map of the United States post land-ice melt.

Land ice: We got a lot of it. Considering the two largest ice sheets on earth — the one on Antarctica and the one on Greenland — extend more than 6 million square miles combined ... yeah, we're talkin' a lot of ice. But what if it was all just ... gone? Not like gone gone, but melted?

If all of earth's land ice melted, it would be nothing short of disastrous. And that's putting it lightly. This video by Business Insider Science (seen below) depicts exactly what our coastlines would look like if all the land ice melted. And spoiler alert: It isn't great. Lots of European cities like, Brussels and Venice, would be basically underwater.

I bring up the topic not just for funsies, of course, but because the maps are real possibilities.

How? Climate change.

As we continue to burn fossil fuels for energy and emit carbon into our atmosphere, the planet gets warmer and warmer. And that, ladies and gentlemen, means melted ice.

A study published this past September by researchers in the U.S., U.K., and Germany found that if we don't change our ways, there's definitely enough fossil fuel resources available for us to completely melt the Antarctic ice sheet.

Basically, the self-inflicted disaster you see above is certainly within the realm of possibility.


assets.rebelmouse.io


In Africa and the Middle East? Dakar, Accra, Jeddah — gone.



assets.rebelmouse.io


Millions of people in Asia, in cities like Mumbai, Beijing, and Tokyo, would be uprooted and have to move inland.



assets.rebelmouse.io


South America would say goodbye to cities like Rio de Janeiro and Buenos Aires.


assets.rebelmouse.io


And in the U.S., we'd watch places like Houston, San Francisco, and New York City — not to mention the entire state of Florida — slowly disappear into the sea.


assets.rebelmouse.io

All GIFs via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

Business Insider based these visuals off National Geographic's estimation that sea levels will rise 216 feet (!) if all of earth's land ice melted into our oceans.

There's even a tool where you can take a detailed look at how your community could be affected by rising seas, for better or worse.

Although ... looking at these maps, it's hard to imagine "for better" is a likely outcome for many of us.

Much of America's most populated regions would be severely affected by rising sea levels, as you'll notice exploring the map, created by Alex Tingle using data provided by NASA.

Take, for instance, the West Coast. (Goodbye, San Fran!)



assets.rebelmouse.io


Or the East Coast. (See ya, Philly!)


assets.rebelmouse.io


And the Gulf Coast. (RIP, Bourbon Street!)

"This would not happen overnight, but the mind-boggling point is that our actions today are changing the face of planet Earth as we know it and will continue to do so for tens of thousands of years to come," said lead author of the study Ricarda Winkelmann, of the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research.

If we want to stop this from happening," she says, "we need to keep coal, gas, and oil in the ground."

The good news? Most of our coastlines are still intact! And they can stay that way, too — if we act now.

World leaders are finallystarting to treat climate change like the global crisis that it is — and you can help get the point across to them, too.

Check out Business Insider's video below:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com


This article originally appeared eleven years ago.

From Your Site Articles
climate change
Health

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals

“I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself.”

TikTok: @wemiopakunle, @_alliechen, @mandanazarfhami,

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals.

TikTok's latest viral wisdom is backed by hard data—and it's making people rethink their communication habits. We live in a world of chronic oversharing. We post everything, from the routes we run (including screenshots as proof of all that hard work), to the pale-green iced matcha latte sitting at our desks or a present from a boyfriend (who will be tagged prominently, not secretly off screen). Who knows when, but our brains became wired for sharing: to record, to curate, and to post every second of our lives, then consume that of others to a disturbing degree. So, here's a radical idea: when it comes to goals and plans, try keeping them to yourself. It could be the key to making them a reality.

That's the message behind TikTok's massively popular "Move in Silence" trend, where creators like @noemoneyyy have cracked the contradictory code to success: Instead of broadcasting every big idea or project that runs through your head, if you actually want it to come to fruition, keep your plans to yourself until they're executed. And it's not just a trend; surprisingly, science also supports this muted approach.


@noemoneyyy Work in private and let the results speak! #privatelife #privatelifehappylife #workinprivate #creatorsearchinsights ♬ sonido original - Luis Jonathan

"As a former oversharer who used to tell every single friend, every single family member, or a partner everything I was doing, I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself," explains creator @noemoneyyy in a video that's garnered millions of views.

On a different video by @mandanazarfhami, she says, “I don’t care what you’ve got going on in your life: that dream job, that city that you want to move to, that dream person, that dream life, that dream anything. Literally keep it to yourself until it’s done.”

Commentors were quick to agree, with one person writing: “From a young age, I never told anyone my next steps. I also taught my husband and son to keep our private matters to themselves and just do things 💯Not many people like it, but who cares🌝🙌🏼🫶🏼”

Another chimed in, “This concept has changed my life for the better.” Others replied, “100 agree 💕” and “100%🙌🏼people can’t ruin what is silent, show results.”


@mandanazarghami monitoring spirits are a real thing - move in silence and watch how much your life changes #fypシ ♬ Jacob and the Stone - Emile Mosseri


What's going on here

In a study done by New York University, researchers found that people who kept their goals private worked on tasks for an average of 45 minutes, compared to the 33 minutes of work completed by those who announced their plans in advance. The twist? The people who shared their goals expressed feeling closer to finishing, despite doing approximately 25% less work.

NYU psychologist Peter Gollwitzer, who led the research, concluded that "once you've told other people your intentions, it gives you a 'premature sense of completeness.'" He also found that the brain is made up of "identity symbols," which create one's self-image. Interestingly, both action and talking about action create symbols in your brain, so simply speaking about a future plan or something you want to do satisfies that part of your brain. When we make our goals public, especially ones that matter to us and deal with our identity, our ability to achieve said goal is significantly reduced. As the old adage goes, "actions speak louder than words."

Stranger still, in his paper "Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap," Gollwitzer notes that in order for this phenomenon to happen, one must truly care about their goals. "Ironically, this effect was only found for participants who are very committed to their goal!" PsychologyToday notes. "The lesson learned is that the more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be about them."

Quiet, silence, peace, shhh, no speaking, secret The more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be. Photo credit: Canva

Another reason to keep quiet: If you're a beginner trying something new, sharing your plans could potentially open you up to criticism and negative feedback, which could deter you from even starting. At the University of Chicago, professor Ayelet Fishbach conducted studies to determine how positive and negative feedback affects the pursuit of one's goal. According to Atlassian, she and her team found:

  • When positive feedback signals commitment to a goal, it increases motivation.
  • When positive feedback signals progress, it actually decreases motivation.
"One example the researchers give is a math student who gets a good grade on a test. If she perceives it to mean she likes math, she will study harder. If, however, she sees the high score as a sign she is making progress in the class, she may ease up and study less." - Atlassian


@_alliechen I used to be such an open book but now im a lot more reserved on my goals and plans so ppl dont judge #moveinsilence #relateablecontent #girlies #viral #success ♬ suara asli - astrooo🪐

We've all been there: excitedly telling everyone about your grand plans to backpack through Europe, the year you'll finally learn Spanish, or joining the group lesson at the tennis courts you always pass by… only to mysteriously lose all motivation a week later. Turns out, those lovely dopamine bursts that accompany every enthusiastic "That sounds great!" or "You should totally do it!" response might be precisely what's holding you back.

The good news? You don't need to become closed-off and secretive, a hermit on the top of a mountain who's afraid to share any part of themselves with the world. Research suggests that sharing your goals with one or two selected friends who can be trusted to provide meaningful support is still a good idea. Just hold off on the Instagram Live announcement until you've actually accomplished something substantial.

So, the next time you sit down to write your goals, whether they be a new year's resolution, the day's to-do list, or a five-year plan, think twice about sharing it with others. Give it time and you might have something better to share soon: the results.

From Your Site Articles
motivation
Community

Inside a Dutch 'dementia village,' where the whole neighborhood is designed for memory loss

The Hogeweyk provides a sense of "normalcy" for people living with dementia.

Photo credit: Canva

People with dementia can roam freely in a dementia village.

Living with dementia is not easy, nor is living with someone living with dementia. No matter how much caregivers may want to keep a loved one with dementia in their home, it's not always feasible. But moving them into a traditional care facility isn't always ideal, either.

That's where a "dementia village" comes in as an alternative. Instead of trying to fit a person with dementia into a living situation that either isn't designed for them or is overly focused on their limitations, a dementia village is an environment designed specifically to help people with severe dementia feel safe and free and live as normal a life as possible.

dementia, dementia care, alzheimer's disease, dementia village, memory carePeople with dementia tend to remember distant memories and forget recent ones.Photo credit: Canva

The Hogeweyk was the world's first dementia village, founded in 2009. Since then, the idea has been replicated in dozens of locations all over the world. The concept is quite simple: A full, self-contained neighborhood where people with dementia can walk around freely without fear of getting lost, where everyone from shopkeepers to restaurant servers to salon workers are trained in dementia care, and where people who are losing their memory to dementia diseases are treated as people who still have aspirations.

Eloy van Hal, one of the founders of the Hogeweyk, explained to Vox how the guiding principle of the village is "normalcy." Traditional nursing homes keep all residents under one roof, and they are subject to whatever program the institution provides for them. In the Hogeweyk, people live in small groups of six or seven in apartments with furnishings like they'd have at home. Distinct landmarks in the public space help residents know where they are, and putting a theater, grocery store, barber shop, etc. in separate buildings encourage movement through the neighborhood.

"It's about choice, choice, choice, where you want to be during the whole day and with whom," said van Hal. The idea is to balance safe design with controlled risk, allowing for as much of a normal life as possible.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The one downside to the village concept, of course, is cost. Without adequate funding assistance from governments, living in a dementia village can be prohibitively expensive.

Does it really make a difference for residents, though? Has it been proven that outcomes are better than traditional care models? With dozens of villages now being used around the world, research is ongoing but the data from the Hogeweyk is promising. People in the comments of Vox's by Design video shared how such facilities have been life-changing for their loved ones and how traditional care doesn't always meet the needs of people with dementia.

"My grandmother had dementia and when her caretaker who was my grandfather (her husband) passed unexpectedly we had to scramble to get her into a memory care facility in the US. The first place she was in temporarily was so sad, I could see her spirit drain but after about a year we were able to get her into a "village" and the quality of life difference is nothing short of ASTOUNDING! She could function in a way that was familiar and comfortable to her and not be in a foreign hospital setting. The abrupt change from a home where they are familiar, to a clinical setting must be very disorienting and upsetting to these people. That side of my family had mental health issues and memory loss starts early, so I know it will happen to me to some extent and I only hope I can have people take care of me as well as in this Hogeweyk."

"I've worked in a nursing home through high school and college. While I can't say it was the worst place for dementia patients, it certainly did not work well for all of them. One patient once tried to wedge herself through the door begging to go outside with me and I even had patients confide in me that they hated being institutionalized, they missed being able to live a normal life, being part of a real community, and being able to come and go as they pleased. This concept is probably the closest thing possible to a normal life a dementia patient could ever have."

dementia, dementia care, alzheimer's disease, dementia village, memory careAll the workers in a dementia village are trained in memory care.Photo credit: Canva

"A relative of mine used to get aggressive, violent and angry when she would encounter a locked door in the institution she was in. She couldn't understand why there would be a locked room in what she understood to be 'her home', this would take a lot of calming down and management, only for her to discover another locked door, and kick off again. I love these village based models as they allow autonomy for residents, and have an individual experience. Just because someone has a brain disease doesn't mean they aren't entitled to the very best care. I hope the govt spends far more on these establishments in the future."

"As he said at the end, people with dementia are still people—even if there is proven to be no benefits to this model over a care home, I would much prefer to have dignity in my final days than live in a clinical trap. Love all the incredible ideas the Netherlands come up with."

Dementia care is something Americans are going to have to look at closely. According to The Alzheimer's Association, the number of people living with Alzheimer's is set to nearly double from seven million to 13 million by the year 2050. As more of our elders require full-time care, the more we'll have to consider prioritizing putting resources into things like dementia villages.

Everyone deserves safety and a good quality of life. The Hogeweyk is a great example of what it looks like to view people with dementia as people first and to care for them accordingly.

From Your Site Articles
dementia care
Sustainability

How Kamikatsu became the first zero-waste town in Japan, and what we can learn from them

Meet the tiny town that's radicalizing the ways we recycle.

Photo credit: Canva

Anyone can transform their relationship with waste.

In Japan, one of the first things you notice is how intense they are about recycling. Bins are guarded by two to three uniformed protectors who are quick to tell you if you’re doing things wrong. For a novice—especially one from America—that seems to be almost everything. The plastic plate wasn’t washed clean enough, you’re headed to the wrong bin (there are many, all with varying purposes), etc.. It can feel quite exhausting until you realize that Japan is a global leader in plastic bottle and e-waste recycling, with an impressive 86% and 70%, respectively. Compare that to the global recycling numbers: according to the Ellen MacArthur Foundation, about 30% of plastic water bottles (PET) are recycled globally and only 22% of all e-waste is formally recycled globally.

However, nestled in the lush mountains of Shikoku Island—the smallest of Japan’s four islands—is a tiny town that’s revolutionizing the trash and recycling industry. Welcome to Kamikatsu. All 1,400 residents here are so committed to zero-waste, they sort their garbage into 45 different categories and don’t even use garbage trucks. And their efforts have paid off: Kamikatsu received a remarkable 81% recycling rate—the highest in the world, thus far.

Recyling, reusing, environment, Japan, environmentKamikatusu's recycling techniques are well worth the effort. Kamikatsu Zero Waste Center

For perspective, Japan’s national average (for overall solid waste recycling) is only 20%. Germany is considered as the global leader in recycling household and municipal waste, with a recycling rate of 67%. Following Germany are Austria (58%), South Korea (59%) Slovenia (58%), and Belgium (54%). The United States rests at 32%, although it aims for 50% by 2030. In short, Kamikatsu isn’t just lapping the world’s global leaders: it’s redefining what’s possible.

Which wasn’t always the case. In the 1970s, there was nothing exceptional about Kamikatsu, in terms of recycling. According to ReasonsToBeCheerful: “The roots of Kamikatsu’s reuse revolution go back decades. During Japan’s postwar economic boom, the expansion of mass industry created huge amounts of waste, which increased from 6.2 million tons in 1955 to 43.9 million tons in 1980. In response, municipalities across Japan, including Kamikatsu, began to build incinerators to dispose of it all. But over time, concern grew about the pollution being created.”

Recycling, Japan, zero-waste, trash, environmentThe inside of Kamikatsu's Zero Waste Center. KAMIKATSU ZERO WASTE CENTER

The town’s transformation took years, beginning in 1991, when officials first tackled food waste by providing composters to every household. By 1997, they’d created nine categories for recycling:

  1. Newspapers
  2. Magazines and flyers
  3. Cardboard
  4. Milk cartons
  5. Other paper
  6. Aluminum cans
  7. Steel cans
  8. Glass bottles
  9. PET bottles

This was the moment that changed everything for Kamikatsu, a significant cultural and logistical shift that laid the foundation for years to come. "It was tough because it changed their day-to-day duties," admits Akira Sakano, founder and director of Zero Waste Japan, "but people got used to it."


Recycling, Japan, zero-waste, trash, environmentHow to recycle boxes and other cardboard goods. KAMIKATSU ZERO WASTE CENTER

Today, Kamikatsu continues its goal to become fully zero-waste. The town closed down their incinerators, removed all garbage trucks, and now boasts a radical 45 categories for recycling.

But do you really need a 45-category system to cut back on waste? Of course not. Here are five practices anyone can adopt at home:

  1. Compost your food waste. According to Kamikatsu’s garbage guide (which was helpfully translated by Core77), “Compost food scraps [is] the only resource you can recycle yourself.” By using compost bins, electric composters, and bamboo composters, residents are able to transform food scraps into valuable fertilizer.
  2. Embrace second-hand. The town has a “Kuru-kuru” shop, which translates to “come and go,” and offers free second-hand items to anyone who wants them. Each product is weighed and tracked, to account for exactly how much waste is avoided. To do this locally, try joining your neighborhood’s Buy Nothing group, or donate to a Tiny Free Library.
  3. Get creative with upcycling. Local artisans in Kamikatsu transform old clothes, like kimonos, and koinobori (fish-shaped streamers) into bags, jackets, and toys. So, ask yourself: Do I really need to throw away that jar, or could it become a treasured container? Old t-shirts could become lovely, braided rugs. Egg cartons make wonderful painted art projects or storage bins.
  4. Reuse your own containers. Places like The Refill Shoppe, Common Good, and Clean Cult offer green alternatives to single-use cleaning solutions and soaps. Their wide variety of refillable products also use less packaging and contain non-toxic ingredients.
  5. Question consumption. The Kamikatsu Zero Waste Center is shaped in a giant question mark, urging people to ask why they must spend money on something. Their website reads: “Why do you buy it? Why do you throw it away?” It’s a reset, an invitation to rethink your relationship with constant consumption.

As we face mounting environmental challenges, Kamikatsu offers a powerful reminder: with community commitment and creative thinking, we can transform our relationship with waste. Are you ready to try?

Recycling, Japan, zero-waste, trash, environmentGive radical recycling a try. KAMIKATSU ZERO WASTE CENTER

From Your Site Articles
environment
Trending Stories