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People are getting honest about the 15 activities that people only 'pretend to like'

It's time to be honest.

via Cottonbrostudio/Pexels, Gaby/Pexels, Vlada Karpovich/Pexels

A beer, a gender reveal party and a child's birthday party.

Recently, there was a great conversation on Reddit that falls under the category of “things people think but never say out loud.” The question, posed by a user named Truth-andLogic was: "What’s an activity you are sure that most people only pretend they like? The prompt inspired people to share and discuss the social engagements we are forced to attend to get ahead in our careers, keep our families happy, or be polite, but we don’t really enjoy.

For many, the thread was cathartic by creating an honest and funny discussion about the moments when we often suffer in silence.

The conversation also delved into activities that many of us engage in to present a certain image, such as posting on social media, networking, or publicly embracing hustle culture. These activities, often driven by pressure form others, can feel cringey because they give off a “look at me” vibe.

Here are 15 activities that, according to people in the AskReddit forum, people only “pretend to like.”

1. LinkedIn

"I'm thrilled to announce that im better than you!" — Cardwizard88

"It’s a humble bragging contest." — Freesgova

2. Hanging out with the parents of your child's friend

"Correct. Did it a lot. Kids all grown up now. Do I still see these people? Heck no." — DustyMartinsdad

3. Happy birthday song at a restaurant

"Happy birthday song ever. It’s always the worst part to me, sitting there awkwardly waiting while people sing off-key at me." — Safetypinss22

4. Networking

"Can I just get a job based off experience and not who I know?" — Delightful_Drantini

"Some people absolutely do enjoy networking. It is a shame because these people are often the ones that tend to be just ok (or worse) at their jobs while those who are great at their jobs tend to be the ones who dislike networking." — Emu1981

5. Hustle culture

"Hustle culture was just a way for mid-range CEOs of mid-range firms to bleed every ounce of work out of each worker so the VC money sees profit sooner." — DahJay

6. Commuting

"So many of my coworkers talked about missing their commute during lockdown, and I wanted to tell them NO you miss having alone time!" — Chaosm0de

7. Kids' birthday parties

"Go to some germ-filled place and give them a gift they may not even thank you for, and it’s always loud and chaotic, and I fucking hate them. And you have to make the same small talk again and again." — LittleHungryGiraffe

"You stay because it's too short to reasonably get any errands done or go home, and you want to make sure your kid is safe. So you sit and make small talk with the one other parent you know for an hour and consider whether or not it would be in poor taste to grab a slice of pizza or cake depending on how much is left over after the kids are served." — Maxpower

8. Work parties

"My upcoming IT team activity is on a Friday afternoon. We're doing lunch and bowling. The company-wide corporate summer party is on Thursday after work hours, so I can spend an entire day with work people, go home, immediately sleep, and deal with work people the next day. I get it's definitely cheaper on a Thursday, but I really lose motivation to go beyond making an appearance to keep my boss happy." — Racthoh

"I don't like ya'll M-F 9 to 5, so why in the hell would I want to see ya'll outside of those hours!?" — DuperDayley

"Right? Like I wonder who these people are. Do they just crave socialization so hard? Or do they like their co-workers and are completely ignorant of the fact that not everyone wants to hang out with them? Even if you do have a closer relationship with some co-workers, not everyone will always get a long, why force it? Those who want to meet up, will. And those who are forced to will only like each other less." — Doodleanda

9. Wine tasting

"Those people that claim to be able to taste things in wine like sea air and a hint of lemons from a specific tree. Piss off with that sh***." — ZeeZeeNei

"They've pretty well debunked this. Can't remember where I saw it but someone ran an experiment on some pretty highly regarded wine connoisseurs and some regular joes as a control to judge wines, some cheap, some expensive. Turns out most of the highly regarded connoisseurs couldn't really tell which was the expensive and which were cheap/bad. Wine just comes down to preference." — come_ere_duck

10. Gender reveal parties

"Thank goodness my friends aren't into gender reveal parties. I have, however, been to my fair share of baby showers and had to play the boring games. Too many times have I played the "identify the melted candy bar in a diaper" game. Funny thing is that, since baby showers have traditionally been attended by only women, at the co-ed ones I've been to the guys get really into the games. It makes everything way better." — Slytherpuffy

11. Hearing about people's kids

"I try to tell kid stories quite sparingly. And 99% of the time, it’s a short anecdote about something genuinely funny. Not like aww they drew an avocado lol, but like a funny joke they told me. Again, quite sparingly." — Afoz345

12. Social media

"Having a huge social media presence. It just doesn't seem worth all the work and effort to keep with it. I'd much rather just enjoy my concert/vacation/whatever than constantly take pictures/videos of it in order to brag about it on social media. And unless you're some big celebrity or influencer, nobody actually cares about your Instagram." — TheSnowqueen17

13. Cruises

"It’s like being trapped in a Vegas hotel and only being able to leave for short periods…and only with everyone else trapped in the same hotel. Plus, limited supplies and extra cooties. No thank you. I think the only cruise I could enjoy would be one of those small luxury ones that I could never afford." — Roopie1023

14. Twitter

"Twitter. The site is full of bots and rageaholics. The UI is frustrating at best. Having a 'discussion' in tweet form is tedious as hell. How many hot takes do you really need to satisfy yourself before it's overkill?" — Soingee

"I’m thankful the place went to hell because I barely click the app now and then vs all the time I spent believing I needed to know everything immediately." — Frequent_Secretary25

15. Drinking IPAs

"Agreed, they taste like soap." — Heavy_Following_114

"Why have they taken over so many taps in so many places?!" — Beaspoke

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Family

Mom causes a stir after saying she won't be doing yearly birthday parties for her kid

“I just don't want a bunch of people sitting around at my house all day...”

Representative Image from Canva

Are birthday parties every year required for kids?

Parents want to do right by their kids. Make them feel special, let them have fun and give them opportunities to enjoy magic before adulthood sets in. And yet, that desire can easily be suppressed by the need to keep up with the lavish events constantly seen on social media.

For many families, over-the-top activities are simply not feasible—especially ones that come year after year like birthdays. So many are going against societal expectations and instead choosing traditions that work for their unique situation. Opting for experiences over expensive gifts, for example, or having one-on-one family time instead of parties with friends.

For Marissa Light, it looks a little more like not even doing a birthday party every year.

“Under no circumstances will I be throwing my daughter a birthday party every single year,” Light said in a now-viral TikTok video. “Here's the deal: She is getting a first birthday party, she is getting a Sweet Sixteen and she is getting a graduation party. Other than that, she is not getting any more birthday parties."

And perhaps Light isn’t totally off-base in her reasoning. According to PBS, kids don’t even remember birthday parties until after they are three-years-old. That’s essentially $400 (the average amount parents spend on their kid’s party) going towards a core memory that won’t even exist.

Light went on to say that she had been to other kids' parties which were “not enjoyable” and she didn’t want to force that experience on others unnecessarily. That being said, she added, “Now look, if you are someone who genuinely enjoys throwing your child a birthday party, pop off, Queen. Do what you want to do. I'm not telling anyone else how to live their lives. I just personally don't find it necessary and I'm not going to be doing it.”

@marissalight It’s been a minute since I’ve given you a #hotmomtake … you’re welcome. #babybirthdayparty #momsoftiktok #momtok #firsttimemom #sahm #momcontent #millenialmom #birthdayparty ♬ original sound - Marissa | Lifestyle | SAHM

But that doesn’t mean that no celebrations will be had. The family will still have “dinner and cake with them every single year,” plus their daughter would get an 'All About You' day” where she would enjoy a “special breakfast” and activities of her choosing, like princess dress up, a trip to the trampoline park, etc. And when siblings come, Light’s daughter will be able to choose whether or not she wants them included in whatever birthday shenanigans are happening. So all in all, a pretty sweet deal.

This option just feels more exciting and less taxing, Light explains. While she understands that party planning is some people’s jam, she admits “it's a lot of stress on my part to organize and plan and put on the party… I just don't want a bunch of people sitting around at my house all day."

Light’s video, as most parenting videos are wont to do, drew both heavy praise and criticism.

Many thought that her choices were depriving her daughter, and not really prioritizing her happiness. This was especially true for adults who didn’t have parties growing up.

“As someone who didn’t get birthday parties, please do that for your kid,” one person wrote.

Another added, “I never had bday parties growing up, and I was always jealous of kids in my class who got them.”

Still, others found promise in the idea.

““An introverted kid will love this. Just make sure that you're celebrating that kid the way they'd like. Not the way you want to celebrate them,” one person commented.

“I LOVE the idea of experiences, so if they want to go to a show or an amusement park for their birthday.”

Some even offered up their own unconventional non-party ideas. One parent wrote, “I just bring my kids to the park with a bunch of cupcakes and any kid at the park is included.”

Whether you can or cannot get behind Light’s take on birthday parties, we can probably all agree that our energy is often best spent doing things we truly want to do. Maybe some parents will still want to arrange a get together for their friends every year. But hopefully this conversation can at least offer some permission to do so in a way that doesn’t take a huge toll. There are so many ways to make a birthday special, after all.

From Your Site Articles

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Parenting

Mom causes debate after sharing the surprising 'gift' she gives for every kid's party

Sarah Clarke swears that her idea saves on "mental load." But not everyone thinks it's very considerate.

Representative image from Canva

Has minimalism gone too far?

Having kids means not only prepping and planning their own birthday party, but making sure you don’t show up empty-handed to the plethora of other kid’s parties.

In a now-viral Instagram post, UK-based mom Sarah Clarke explains her trick that she does for every kids party to “save on mental load.” Though Clarke swears by it, not everyone agrees.

“I get the same thing every time, no matter how old they are, no matter if they’re a boy or a girl,” Clarke said in the clip, clarifying that the gift is not a traditional present, but a gift certificate to a local coffee shop, where the kid can have a “hot chocolate or cake” with their parents.

“They can have a little date, and it’s paid for, and it means I don’t have to think of something,” she added.

“And if the mom or dad who gets the present wants to go on their own, they’re more than welcome to,” she quipped.

The video, which has been seen over 4 million times, wasn’t met with 100% positive feedback. Some felt like the idea wasn’t completely considerate, if not a little lazy.

See on Instagram

“If someone did this I would be annoyed, it's like no thought or effort to know what someone likes,” one person wrote.

"I like this idea but for old enough kids. I think my 3 and 4 years old would not understand and be very disappointed (I would love it as a parent! But I’m not the recipient)," another said.

Others shared how they followed a similar strategy but more universal gift cards.

“I just put £10 in a card (£5 if it's a tight month.) That way they can get something they want,” someone shared.

Others acknowledged that this type of gift giving could be seen as less materialistic and more focused on quality time.

“This is a great idea. How many more toys and tablets do your kids need? I gift my nieces and nephews a new book and $20,” one person commented.

Another echoed, “This is such a good idea! I think in this day and age kids have an overwhelming amount of toys and presents. But the gift of a parent’s presence. Genius!!”

Perhaps this is one of those situations where everyone's a little bit right. On the one hand, we have to let kids be kids, which means not forcing them to partake in what we’d prefer as adults. After all, they’re only that age for so long. On the other hand, there’s something to be said for swapping more stuff out for actual experiences and creating core memories.

Clarke’s video, whether you agree with her particular perspective or not, does highlight a collective mindset shift on how we view what gift-giving actually is. In a world suffering from inflation and needless waste combined with social interaction becoming harder to cultivate, it’s no wonder why we are starting to place more value on the little things. On simplification. Maybe in trying to find balance, we make a few missteps. But it’s still clearly what we’re all striving for.

From Your Site Articles

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Family

Mom argues for the return of simple 'cake and pizza' kids parties, and other parents agree

Maybe we don't need the expensive bounce house and party performers.

@ciaoamberc/TikTok

Do we really need to spend and arm and a leg for every celebration?

Back in my day, the most lavish that a kid’s party got was a trip to Chuck E. Cheese. Things have certainly…evolved since then. Nowadays some parents spend exorbitant amounts of time and money trying to make the event rival a pop-up amusement park.

And while there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to go all out (some people really do get creative fulfillment from event planning, after all), there is something to be said about an underlying competitiveness behind the trend. If parents are only throwing big blowout parties out of some kind of societal pressure, or to project some kind of prestige…then they might be losing focus on what really matters. Which, presumably, is making sure the kids have a good time.

And if the kid’s enjoyment really is the priority here, then maybe there’s something to be said about keeping things simple.

That’s the discovery Amber Cimiottibiz recently had after throwing her 3-year-old a birthday party strictly consisting of “cake, pizza, family, and close friends.”

“I didn’t rent anything, I didn’t rent a bounce house, performers, face paint, I didn’t have a big balloon wall, I did all of my own decorations. I ordered one balloon bouquet from Party City,” she said in a video posted to her TikTok.

Nothing says party like pizza.

Canva

Cimiottibiz kept to this “simple” and “traditional” model for a number of reasons. Number one being that both she and her husband shared “fond memories” of bare bones celebrations during their childhood.

“My husband and I both grew up where our parents didn’t have a lot of money, but we always had great birthdays…They didn’t have all of this extra fluff, they just had family and running around with your friends, and presents and cake and the traditional stuff,” she said.

Cimiottibiz also opted out a big bash due to burnout from lavish parties she’s thrown in the past, saying “I’ve done a lot of stuff for my kids in the past for the birthday, and the birthdays have always been so exhausting to me and a little bit stressful, if I’m going to be honest. I just wanted to bring the birthdays down to earth a little bit.”

That’s not to say she won’t ever choose big birthdays again, by the way. She just might reserve those for milestone birthdays, like when her daughter turns 16.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, Cimiottibiz learned that her kids appreciated the simplicity just as much…if not more.

“For us, it’s just been little surprises,” her video concluded. “We blew up a bunch of balloon for him to wake up to this morning. We surprised him with decorating the house while he was sleeping. We got super-fun donuts. Things that don’t cost a lot of money but make him so happy. And I have felt like five percent of the stress that I’ve felt on previous birthdays and my kid is just as happy.”

@ciaoamberc hubby has been traveling the entire week so i was on my own so the simple birthday was actually achievable #birthday #kids #toddler #birthday #kidsbirthday ♬ original sound - Ciao AmberC

Judging by the amount of positive comments to her video, Cimiottibiz doesn’t seem alone in her stance. Many were in favor of this “cake and pizza” approach to parties.

“This!! We now have 2 February babies and this year we were like nope we don’t need to put a ton into the themed food, the matching decorations, paying to rent a space,” one person wrote.

Others shared how they wished they had opted for this less expensive approach. One mom wrote “we did our first bit party for our daughter's 7th bday last week. We had an Elsa come and had a party room in a kids museum. I don’t think we will do that again So Much stress and money.”

Even an event planner chimed in to say, “my kids birthdays were over the top, live monkeys in one party — 12k on another. They remember none of it — now I tell moms…just do simple 💕 and plan trips instead.”

One person wrote, “ I grew up kind of poor, with not enough money to do anything on birthdays. I do it up BIG, every year for my kid’s bday. Heals my inner child.”

Another added, “I didn’t have birthday parties growing up, so I always did the jumper, cake piñata, goodie bags, party games for my kids. I don’t regret it.”

Moral of the story: it’s your kid’s party, and you can spend if you want to. But you honestly never have to. That is part of the magic of children—they can find big joy in small things. Maybe leaving shame and pressure out of the equation can help parents take in some of the joy as well.

From Your Site Articles

Mom says she won't be doing yearly birthday parties for kids - Upworthy ›

kids

kids parties

1. LinkedIn

2. Hanging out with the parents of your child's friend

3. Happy birthday song at a restaurant

4. Networking

5. Hustle culture

6. Commuting

7. Kids' birthday parties

8. Work parties

9. Wine tasting

10. Gender reveal parties

11. Hearing about people's kids

12. Social media

13. Cruises

14. Twitter

15. Drinking IPAs

Mom causes a stir after saying she won't be doing yearly birthday parties for her kid

“I just don't want a bunch of people sitting around at my house all day...”

Mom causes debate after sharing the surprising 'gift' she gives for every kid's party

Sarah Clarke swears that her idea saves on "mental load." But not everyone thinks it's very considerate.

Mom argues for the return of simple 'cake and pizza' kids parties, and other parents agree

Maybe we don't need the expensive bounce house and party performers.

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