Small talk can be especially hard for introverts. While conversation may flow and come easily for extroverts, it can create a lot more anxiety and awkwardness for their counterparts.
Mastering small talk, however, is totally possible for introverts. Self-proclaimed introvert and career coach Cherrie Kwok, M.Ed., CCDP, shared her insights on four mindsets introverts can focus on when it comes to small talk.
She shared, “What I’ve learned is that you don’t need to be an extrovert, the most social, or the most interesting person in the room, nor do you always have to have the right words to say.”
Instead, these are four mindsets that will help small people master small talk.
1. Focus on who you’re talking with, not what you’re talking about
According to Kwok, introverts can get caught up in where their conversation is going and whether or not it’s coming off as boring. She shares a story about interacting with a next door neighbor. “He never needed anything from us or wanted to talk about something in particular, he simply wanted to chat,” she explained.
Essentially, she highlights that introverts should keep in mind that “not every conversation needs to have a purpose”.
Instead, Kwok adds, “What’s important is that with each interaction, you’re creating an opportunity to appreciate and get to know the person in front of you.”
2. Small talks builds the foundation for deeper conversations and relationships down the road
For introverts, small talk may be approached as simply surface-level conversation, but Kwok says that introverts who think this way may be missing out on developing a quality relationship.
“Small talk is like the glue that builds trust, which is at the core of any meaningful relationship. It cultivates trust by creating a safe space where you can put another person at ease and signal to them that you’re a friend, not foe,” she explains. “When you’re talking to someone for the first time, start by finding common ground. Focus on the situation you’re both in, keep the questions light and avoid overly personal topics.”
“Overthinking just makes things worse. The more you focus on yourself, the more awkward you’ll feel,” says Kwok. “Instead, flip the script. Shift your focus away from yourself and onto the person you’re talking to. Let them take center stage and direct the attention away from you. When you listen intently and focus on the other person, you are no longer caught up in your own thoughts.”
Keep Going Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Giphy
4. Don’t take it personally if a conversation doesn’t flow
Kwok shares a story about a small talk conversation that happened between her and a woman at her gym that received a short response.
“My initial thought was, ‘Maybe I don’t look friendly enough or I asked a lame question,” Kwok shares.
Rather than criticize herself, though, Kwok chose to put herself in the woman’s shoes. “You can’t always know what someone’s going through by just looking at them. So, if the small talk doesn’t flow or your conversation partner seems uninterested, don’t beat yourself up over it,” she said.
In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.
“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.
“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.
Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.
Understanding the journey
Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.
Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.
A warm welcome
Dee and Omary's son, Osman
Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.
“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”
Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.
“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”
Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.
“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”
More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.
“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”
Extending the welcome
Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.
Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.
“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.
Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.
“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.
“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”
Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.
This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.
Europeans have always had hot takes on Americans and American culture. From portion sizes to garbage disposals to widely available air conditioning, there are plenty of things America has to offer that Europe just doesn’t.
And when it comes to demeanor, it’s hard for Europeans to deny that Americans have a warmer presence. A 2025 survey by Upgraded Points asked 2,200 Europeans from 22 different countries for their opinions on Americans. In it, 64% reported that they found Americans friendly.
On Reddit, an Eastern European who experienced American friendliness firsthand asked Americans why they are “nice and cordial.”
An Eastern European’s take on Americans
The Eastern European explained that they had been living in the United States for a few years, and shared what most interactions with Americans have been like.
“I’ve noticed that common courtesies are much more, well, common, here in the US,” they wrote. “Examples like small talk by cashiers, moving men, etc. Even most people make witty responses, like they’re actually listening to what I said. I’ve said a few times, ‘Oh, I’m just watching Netflix over the weekend.’ And they’ll mention or recommend shows they’ve watched.”
They went on to explain that it happens often and, seemingly, from a place of authenticity.
“They also always ask how I am, asking about my weekend plans, holding open the door for several people, and more,” they shared. “It just seems ingrained from an early age. And a lot of it seems genuine, very rarely forced.”
The post ended, “I’ve just found this so refreshing as someone who’s from a region in the world where people don’t even make eye contact with you. This is seriously an underrated part of American culture in my opinion.”
Americans respond
Americans shared their wholesome replies as to why they are genuinely nice and cordial:
“It’s fun to be nice to people, because it makes you feel happier inside.”
“I dunno. Just how I was raised. I find it difficult to not be nice to strangers cause like why do I want to cause trouble and make a scene? All it does is hinder my day and cause more issues. Takes more effort to be mean than to just.. Not be.”
“I read once that cultures with big melting pots of ethnicities (USA, Brazil) tend to be more outwardly friendly with smiles and body language as there were large portions of times when the country was largely immigrants that wouldn’t understand each others language so they’d smile at strangers because they couldn’t speak their language, and then that remained embedded in the culture. It was a convincing argument.”
“I mean… another way to look at it is, ‘why wouldn’t you be?’ An ex-girlfriend of mine once said, ‘if you can’t find the joy in the small things in life, you’ll never be happy with any other successes.’ So when you meet someone, ask about them, smile, gas them up, make them happy. Those endorphins are contagious.”
“Cordiality is how a nation of immigrants helps create social cohesion. Cordiality is a public practice of democracy. Cordiality is an implicit way of acknowledging equal standing under the law. We will see how long it lasts now.”
“Yeah, I think that equality is such an American value that we have it engrained to smile and be cordial to strangers as a way of affirming a lack of class boundaries. I’ve spent lots of time with people from caste/servant/enormous-poverty-divide countries lately and some details in lack of respect to strangers have been really astoundingly off-putting.”
“Because it costs nothing and makes people happy. I didn’t know why this is an American thing, but I particularly enjoy bullsh*t smalltalk and my German wife thinks I’m insane.”
There are many ways to pay tribute to a music artist through a cover of one of their songs. Some honor their inspiration by playing their hit song in a different genre of music. Others cover the song through different instrumentation or key changes. Then there’s the guy who performs his cover with rubber chickens.
The professional pianist known as Lord Vinheteiro has gotten attention on TikTok by performing Guns N’ Roses’ song “Sweet Child O’ Mine.” Only, instead of the vocal stylings of Axl Rose, Vinheteiro sings the song through the squeaky voices of rubber chickens of varying sizes. And he nails it.
“If you close your eyes, it sounds just like Axl Rose.”
“This is what the internet was invented for.”
“I don’t care what y’all say… THIS IS TALENT.”
“Simply awesome, Maestro!”
“As a middle school science teacher would you mind if I showed this video to my students? We’re studying sound waves and this is a perfect example of frequency and pitch.”
“Needed this smile. Thank you.”
“Clucking brilliant.”
Who is this rubber chicken maestro?
Lord Vinheteiro, the professional name of Brazilian musician Fabrício André Bernard Di Paolo, has entertained the Internet since 2008. He gained attention through his expert piano skills—where he’s playing theme songs from cartoons or playing the piano at a distance with strings. All the while, Vinheteiro adds to the absurdity by looking directly into the camera with an expressionless face.
Prior to his career as a YouTube content creator and music teacher, Paolo worked in construction. His videos grew in popularity in his native Brazil before gaining traction worldwide. Until recently, he showcased his classical music prowess by playing video game themes and other pop-culture favorites. In 2025, he began expanding his musical talent by incorporating rubber chickens into his content.
While still showcasing his impressive piano skills, he frequently shows off his rubber chicken singing abilities using chickens of various sizes. Impressively, Paolo is able to hit the proper tone and pitch with expert grip and timing. This feat has earned him millions of views on rubber chicken versions of a wide variety of songs, from System of a Down’s “Chop Suey!” to Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody,” and even the “Imperial March” theme from Star Wars.
If you are amused and fascinated by Lord Vinheteiro’s work, check out his social media for more. It may be piano and rubber chickens for now, but it’ll be interesting to see which instrument he masters next.
A drummer creates inspiring cover videos from his wheelchair with help from a mouth-trigger kick pedal. – Photo credit: Screenshots via Jesse Avi on Instagram
Drummer Jesse Avi has racked up millions of social media views with his precise, tasteful cover videos. But these clips are also fascinating and motivational on a deeper level: Avi, who uses the handle “The Slightly Different Drummer,” performs them all from his wheelchair, operating the kick drum with a pedal triggered by his mouth.
Avi has been posting his covers—everything from modern soul music (Silk Sonic’s “Smokin Out the Window”) to early ’80s power pop (Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl”)—since December 2025. But he truly reached social media virality the following month by tackling Incubus’ 1999 alt-metal classic “Pardon Me.” It’s a killer rendition, nailing José Pasillas’ deft snare rolls, cathartic crash cymbals, and powerful kick grooves. Both drummers and non-musicians responded, with the clip reaching over a million views on Instagram alone.
“Is the trigger for the kick in your mouth this is AMAZING 💪🏻
“Hell yeah button 👉🏻”
“For any non drummers, please know this is incredibly tight playing”
“Pardon me sir but this is amazing !!!!”
“Nothing stopping you!!! 🔥🔥🔥”
“Im about to have a major spine surgery and i have a fear of losing mobility in my legs after and nor being able to drum. This gave me hope even if the worst comes to pass. This is inspiring”
“Obsessed with rhythm”
Avi tells Upworthy he started playing drums around age 10, “obsessed with rhythm.” When he first saw the video for Hanson’s 1997 pop hit “MMMBop” on MTV, he found himself locking in on the drummer, Zac Hanson. “Something about the power and control behind the kit pulled me in, and the fact that it was just kids playing blew my mind,” he says.
Soon enough, he was “banging on pillows” and quickly found himself behind an actual kit. But after a spinal cord injury at age 13, he stopped playing for several years—and when he started back, he couldn’t continue with the traditional drum setup.
“At first, that was frustrating—because muscle memory and habit are huge parts of drumming,” he recalls. “But I also realized that if I wanted to keep playing at the level I expected from myself, I’d have to rethink things instead of resisting the change. In a lot of ways, it made me more creative. I had to analyze my playing from the ground up—literally. It forced me to become more intentional, more disciplined, and more technical about how I move around the kit. What could’ve been a limitation ended up reshaping my style and making me a more thoughtful drummer.”
“I needed to retrain my brain”
A major breakthrough came on July 5, 2005, after glimpsing a Def Leppard show at New Jersey’s FirstEnergy Park, where he worked as a dishwasher.
“I’ll never forget it,” he says. “On my break, I was able to watch the band perform a few songs, and I was amazed at how Rick Allen, their drummer with one arm, could play so smoothy and perfectly. I drove home that night thinking to myself, ‘If he can do it, I can do it.’ Keep in mind, no YouTube or online videos were around for me to really watch him perform. So I spent the next few days [experimenting] with this pedal that I took from an electronic drum set I got for Christmas a few years earlier.”
At first, Avi tried sticking the pedal under his arm, but it would fall right out. He tried sitting on it, but that proved too uncomfortable. After putting the device in his mouth, he found he could play simple beats.
“It was hard, and I needed to retrain my brain that biting down is the kick drum now, not my leg,” he says. “Within a week, I was playing daily, and it never really stopped from there. I always continued to play on and off—sometimes I wouldn’t play for a year or so, and then I’d play for three years straight. As of recently I have been playing more, and it’s been a great feeling.”
The technical side of his playing is pretty inventive: Avi bites down on the trigger every time he wants to hear a kick drum, which sends a signal to his “drum brain”—a Roland TD-3—and then into the Yamaha EAD10 drum module to create the kick sound.
His videos have sparked a range of responses: both pro and casual musicians sharing their feedback, drummers asking technical questions, and people sharing how the videos inspired them.
“I can tell you this: There are plenty of good people on this Earth,” Avi says. “I have really had some amazing comments and DMs from people all over the world. It’s incredible. The response has honestly been one of the most meaningful parts of sharing my videos. I’ve had everyday drummers reach out, and even a few professional players, letting me know they connected with what I’m doing. That’s something I don’t take lightly.”
“It’s been especially powerful hearing that something as simple as me playing and being consistent has inspired other people—whether that’s pushing through their own challenges or just picking up the sticks again,” he adds. “At the end of the day, drumming is such a tight-knit community. It doesn’t matter if you’re playing arenas or in your garage—we all understand the language of rhythm. Being able to connect with other musicians through that has been one of the biggest unexpected rewards.”
“I almost melted into the floor”
So what makes the Incubus video so special? Even Avi isn’t sure, but maybe it’s due to the power of the song itself.
“When I recorded that video, I honestly didn’t think it would do what it did,” he says with a laugh. “With everything going on in the world right now, the song has its own identity, right? Like, it starts tight. Then it gradually expands—more energy, more intensity, more space. When it hits the chorus, it feels like release. Not chaos but a release. It doesn’t say ‘I’m mad at the world.’ It’s more like ‘I’m overwhelmed, and I’m trying to understand it.’ I think people really connect with that.”
“I could also be totally wrong,” he adds. “I don’t know what the algorithm was doing that day, but it sure reached a lot of people. It was crazy. I went from 12 Instagram followers to four thousand the next day. José Pasillas and [Incubus singer] Brandon Boyd both liked the video on Instagram, and I almost melted into the floor. I couldn’t believe it.”
It’s one powerful moment of many for The Slightly Different Drummer, who’s inspired to keep pushing himself.
“I’ve been playing for over 20 years now, and what’s kept me going is that there’s always another level to reach,” he says. “Drumming isn’t just something I do—it’s part of who I am. It’s how I express myself, how I challenge myself, and honestly, how I connect with people.”
Millennials grew up in the analog ’90s—a very different childhood than today’s plugged-in Gen Alpha.
For Millennials who spent hours playing outside, there was one toy that bruised shins and nearly broke ankles: the Skip-It. Millennial comedian Anthony Rodia decided to introduce his Gen Alpha daughter to it.
In a hilarious video shared with his followers on Instagram, Rodia documents his 10-year-old daughter trying her best to catch a rhythm while playing with the iconic ’90s toy. Rodia explains that he ordered one for her to test out from Amazon, and it leads to lots of laughs for them both.
From the start, his daughter has a hard time getting into the groove. Rodia immediately starts ribbing her, playfully chirping, “What’s the matter? Our toys are a little too difficult for ya? A little harder than just being on your iPad?”
She continues to swing the Skip-It around with no success, cracking up at the camera as her dad films and laughs. “Try to play with a toy we had when we were kids. You can’t even do a Skip-It!” he says as the Skip-It slides off her ankle and smashes into him.
In the next clip, Rodia gives the Skip-It a try and immediately nails it. He jokes to his daughter, “It’s not that hard cuz we weren’t playing with iPads back then—we were outside! Playing with dangerous toys!”
He shows off his Skip-It skills, folding his arms and even closing his eyes.
Viewers respond
In the comments, Rodia addressed viewers who thought he was being a little too tough on his daughter.
“It’s crazy how many people are getting butt hurt that I’m breaking my daughter’s chops 😂😂😂😂 yet my 10 year old daughter is laughing about it,” he wrote. “If there was no banter in my house growing up, there was something wrong! Update: she kept trying and now mastered it 🤣🤷🏻♂️👍🏼.”
Others loved the joyful interaction and the nostalgia it brought back:
“This is just a healthy father/daughter dynamic,” one person wrote. “This is how my dad and I talk to each other. Love that man. Got plans to play videogames with him later tonight. He’s 73 years old.”
Another wrote, “Lmao I had this and a pogo stick 😂.” And another Millennial added, “Now have her put on rollerblades and have her go down a hill at 90 mph with no pads or helmet! 🤣 how did we survive?”
Millennials on Reddit also chimed in. “Get her a Bop-It next,” one commented. Another wrote, “This also makes me think of Razor scooters when you’d try to spin the bottom around and it’d whack you hard in your shins.”
History of the Skip-It
The Skip-It, as it was known in the 1990s, was actually inspired by earlier versions that launched in the 1960s. According to The Retroist, the earliest version was released by Canadian toy company Twinpak, which called it the Footsie. Another Canadian company, Reliable Toys, also had a similar version, named Skip-it (with a lowercase “i”).
An American version, called the Jingle Jump, launched a few years later, but the Canadian design was deemed superior.
Ultimately, the Skip-It Millennials grew to know and love was launched by Tiger Electronics in 1989 after the rights were purchased from American toy company the Paul E. Price Company. Thanks to Skip-It commercials on kids’ TV network Nickelodeon, the Skip-It craze exploded.
In 2011, TIME magazine included the Skip-It on its list of the “All-TIME 100 Greatest Toys.”
Clearly, the Skip-It is a beloved toy that’s still bringing smiles decades later.
As many are in the habit of doing, a man recently took to TikTok to “vent.” His “story time” was about his choice to end a 10-year friendship after not getting invited to said friend’s wedding. It soon became undeniably clear that he wasn’t alone in having an experience like this.
In the now-viral clip, the creator, @yonosoyasi5, explained that he understood that weddings are special, expensive moments, and therefore “not everyone can go.”
However, he admitted that “I went through so much with this person that I thought I had made the cut.”
This blow ultimately caused @yonosoyasi5 to accept that the friendship as he knew it had come to a close. There was no animosity, but there wasn’t any effort, either.
“I wish him the best. I never wish him ill. But to say that I wanna be a part of his life now, it would be very fake. I just don’t care anymore,” he said.
Even when confronted by a member of that shared friend group, @yonosoyasi5 was upfront about his stance, saying, “What am I gonna hang out with him for? What’s the objective of me putting energy into this friendship?”
TikTok reacts
The video soon got an onslaught of comments from people who had similarly heartbreaking experiences—and developed similar mindsets.
“One of my BEST guy friends for 8+ years did not invite me to his wedding. I introduced him to his wife. They went out because of me. I have never been more hurt in my life. I cut off the relationship …and they always try to pull me back closer…I can never pull the knife out of my back.”
“It’s not actually the wedding invite, it’s finding out the person doesn’t see you as a close friend.”
“Once you exclude me from important moments, I will exclude you from my entire life.”
“I think at our age we want to get back what we put into friendships/relationships. You love with your whole heart, so to not have it reciprocated is hurtful. I feel ya.”
“Crazy…this happened to me…20 years of growing up down the drain.”
Lastly, one person even said, “friendship breakups are WORSE than romantic breakups.”
Woman sitting alone on a bench overlooking the water. – Photo credit: Canva Photos
Many experts seem to agree with this notion. Or, at the very least, that friendship loss triggers what’s known as “ambiguous grief,” which is the feeling of anguish that comes from losing someone physically while they are psychologically present (e.g., missing person, mental illness, divorce). Our stress responses are triggered, our feel-good chemicals get depleted, our sleep gets disrupted—which is all a science-based way of saying it hurts. Really bad.
This level of ambiguous grief really depends on what the friendship personally meant to a person. In @yonosoyasi5’s case, it meant a great deal. Thankfully, there are ways to navigate these difficult transitions.
Coping strategies for friendship loss
1. Allow yourself to grieve
Even once you’ve reached acceptance and found other meaningful relationships, waves of yearning for what’s past may still creep up. Allow space for those feelings. They will pass.
2. Use it as a learning opportunity
Without assigning blame, you can get curious about what might have caused the relationship to end. This way, you can set clear friendship intentions moving forward.
3. Engage in self-care
Journal, meditate, reclaim old passions, exercise, and get outdoors. These things tend to help with grief of all kinds.
4. Appreciate the support systems you still have
Taking stock of the good friends that remain in your life can help offset any feelings of loneliness and reinforce a sense of belonging, experts say.
Bottom line: cutting someone out of our lives hurts, but that pain might truly be the lesser evil in the long run. May we all have the foresight to know the difference and seek out those who do give us such grace.
There is no expiration date for finding success in life, but knowing what you want to do at a young age can give you a significant advantage in a competitive world. The problem is that many folks aren’t sure which path to pursue. Do you follow your dreams or take the safer route to success?
Actress Reese Witherspoon, who’s also had massive success as a producer and entrepreneur, says the answer is easy: follow your talents.
A young woman unhappy in her career asked Witherspoon for advice on starting a new one, and the Legally Blonde star shared her thoughts on Instagram.
Witherspoon’s career advice
“Okay, well, what are your talents?” Witherspoon asked the woman. “And she had a hard time telling me what her specific talents were. And I thought to myself, this is very, very important. You don’t chase your dreams, you chase your talent.”
“Everybody has dreams. Doesn’t mean you’re going to be that thing. You are supposed to do what you’re talented at,” Witherspoon said. “It’s your job in life to figure out what your specific, unique talents are and go chase them. That’s what you’re going to do. Chase your talents. Not your dreams.”
Witherspoon’s advice is practical but also leaves the door open for some magic. If you are an incredible painter and an average singer, it’s best to focus on improving your painting skills. Focusing on your talents can also help you fulfill your dreams, but you have to hone your talent first.
“It’s magic when your talents align with your dreams or when you recognize your talents can support your dreams,” one person wrote in the comments on Witherspoon’s video.
Reese Witherspoon in 2011. Photo credit: Eva Rinaldi/Wikimedia Commons.
Career coaches chime in on Witherspoon’s advice
Upworthy reached out to professional career coaches to see what they had to say about Witherspoon’s advice.
“From a research standpoint, Witherspoon is right to push back on the blanket (and all too popular) advice to follow your dreams,” said Dr. Heather Maietta, the owner of Career In Progress, a global private practice that develops career professionals. “Strengths (or talent) alignment is strongly associated with engagement and performance.”
A man leaping with a briefcase. Photo credit: Canva
“However, decades of career development research suggest that sustainable career decisions sit at the intersection of three factors: demonstrated strengths (talents), genuine interest and motivation, and market demand and role economics,” she added.
Karol Ward, a licensed psychotherapist who coaches corporate clients in professional growth, said that once someone has identified the talents they wish to cultivate, they should reach out to successful people in their network to create a roadmap for success. She shared some questions people should ask their connections:
• Did they have clear intentions or a vision about what they wanted?
• Did they create a specific plan, and if so, what did that look like?
• Did they hire support people such as coaches, therapists, or financial planners?
• Did they take classes, join organizations, or find mentors?
• What resources do they recommend?
• How did they choose who or what to spend their time on to reach their goals?
Witherspoon has achieved her dreams by succeeding as an A-list actress, an incredibly difficult career to break into that takes skill, perseverance, and a lot of luck. So, one would think she’d tell everyone to follow their dreams, too. However, she believes the best way to find success is for people to be the best versions of themselves, and that’s an opportunity available to everyone.
Japan’s Kaori Sakamoto was all but set to take home the gold in the women’s singles free skate at the Olympics, having entered the final leg of the competition in second place. Considering this would be the three-time world champion’s final skate before retiring, it would have been the ideal way to go out.
But things didn’t go to plan. Sakamoto apparently made a fatal mistake during a triple combo, placing her just under two points behind American skater (with the really cool hair) Alysa Liu, who ultimately won the gold.
Sitting in the arena, Sakamoto’s let her tears fall. The Olympic broadcast camera attempted to capture the moment, but was disrupted by fellow skater Amber Glenn of the U.S. Glen had also experienced the sting of not winning gold and knew her rival needed privacy in that vulnerable moment.
So, she put herself between Sakamoto and the camera. She waved her hands to relay that filming should stop, then turned to comfort her fellow athlete.
“Dude I know it’s their job but they will get all up in your business when you clearly need space it’s wild”
͢ Amber’s comment on a TikTok of her comforting Kaori Sakamoto after her free skate.
“I only felt regret,” Sakamoto said, according to Olympics.com. “I’ve come this far and I couldn’t get it done. The frustration is unbearable. I felt like the bronze medal last time was a miracle, and I’m wearing a better medal around my neck yet I’m frustrated — which probably says a lot about all the work I put in the last four years. And for that, I just want to give myself a pat on the back.”
Her stance exemplifies a phenomenon that is rather common among Olympic athletes. According to NPR, bronze medalists tend to be happier than those who win silver presumably because they are “viewing their wins through different standards of comparison.” Winning bronze is a pleasant surprise as you’re comparing it to not placing at all. The opposite is true of winning silver—you’re comparing it “upward” toward what could have been.
Of course, the fact that it would be Sakamoto’s last Olympic skate added to her grief. As she put it, “I guess this is how my story ends. It hurts, I have to admit.”
And who better to know what that grief might feel like than another athlete? That’s what makes this moment, however tragic, really quite beautiful. In an instant, there was no team division, just two kindred spirits who understood each other’s passion. The term “holding space” has become a bit of a joke these days, but it remains one of the kindest acts we can do for one another.
There are lots of cool moms out there. You may even have one yourself. But has anyone ever been cooler than this lady? In February, Juin Sommer went viral with an Instagram video showing his mom learning the drum part to Weezer’s 1994 alt-rock classic “Say It Ain’t So,” then playing it at her daughter’s wedding.
The clip is wonderful on many levels, but it deserves a little context. Starting in November 2025, Sommer posted a series of videos showing his mom, Elly, practicing on an electronic drum kit. He captioned the first one, “My mom learning the drums for her midlife crisis.”
Motivation aside, the final product was more than worth it. Sommer captioned the big reveal post “How it started” and “How it went,” contrasting his mom’s practice session with the actual wedding performance. The latter is a family-band affair: Sommer sings and plays the guitar solo, the bride Hanna is on rhythm guitar, longtime friend RJ is on bass, and mom lays down thunder behind the kit. She nails every moment, from the syncopated kick and splashy ride cymbals to the pre-chorus snare rolls. All in all, an excellent first gig.
After the clip went viral, it made its way to Weezer themselves.
“Nothing says happily ever after quite like some =w= at your wedding,” the band wrote on Instagram. “Congrats to mom on nailing the drums and congrats to the happy couple!”
Both Sommer and Hanna responded with amazement. “Wow crazy that one my favorite bands was able to see this,” the former enthused. “AHHHHHH OMG THIS IS SO AMAZING!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOO MUCH THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE!!!!!!” added the latter.
Of course, lots of other admirers shared their kind words. Here are some of the top comments:
“who needs a DJ when you have mom??”
“Coolest mum ever”
“WE LOVE YOU WEEZER MOM”
“This is wedding goals right here =w=”
“This is the first wedding video I’ve seen that actually makes me want to get married someday, and then become the Korean mom playing at her kid’s wedding with sunglasses on like an absolute legend 😭😭😭 also amazing work on the noodly guitar solo!“
“I’ve filmed like 170 weddings as a videographer and this would have made me lose my mind. So good 👏👏”
“This is probably one of the best things I’ve seen”
“This is so outrageously cool omg“
“Imagine having a mom and sister that cool.“
“Why is her timing so good? Also brother crushed those vocals”
“Help why did this make me emotional 😭 her rocking out in the hanbok omg 👏“
“Epic on so many levels”
“Feel like your sister rocking out in her wedding dress needs to be highlighted as well”
It all started with a joke
Sommer tells Upworthy that the road to virality began with a joking Snapchat about his mom’s “midlife crisis” moment. “I found that snap more recently and posted it, and it got a lot of attention, which I was surprised to see,” he says with a laugh.
Elly had already been learning drums, but she cranked up her practice time after brainstorming the friends-and-family wedding performance. “She won’t admit it, but she was so nervous,” Sommer adds, “especially since it was her first time playing in front of a crowd.”
This was a special moment for a lot of reasons, and the song choice was meaningful, too. Sommer, Hanna, and RJ used to play together in a high school band, often covering “Say It Ain’t So.”
“I think I covered that song at least 50 times over the years with different bands,” Sommer notes. “So we all already knew it, except my mom.”
Given his longtime love of emo, pop-punk, and alt-rock, seeing Weezer’s reaction was definitely a trip.
“We were all in awe,” he says. “I didn’t even notice until my other younger sister, Zoë, sent it to me on Instagram. We all were so excited that one of our favorite bands was able to actually see us play.”
In summary, the bar has officially been raised for cool moms, wedding music, viral drummers, and family bands.
