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Mental Health

A woman joked that she need a 'cry room.' So her husband built one for her.

Their designer friend Rachel helped draw up a plan.

Images via Canva

A woman said she needed a crying room so her husband built one

For most of us, the world can seem chaotic. With the influx of a 24-hour news cycle, constant social media scrolling, and the day-to-day fires we're so often putting out, we need an anxiety-reducing space to help us take it down a notch. Interior designers have taken note and have begun creating "Wellness Rooms"–with "introvert nooks" as the latest trend.

Think smaller and cozier, surrounded by warm and inviting items, specifically curated for each person. In the same way Dachshunds like to burrow under the covers, a lot of humans do too—at least in a metaphorical sense. Interior designers have definitely taken this into account.

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In the Associated Press article, "Wellness Rooms Are Claiming Space in Many Homes," author Kim Cook writes, "We’re seeing rooms transformed into sanctuaries of self-care." She shares the thoughts of Dallas designer Gonzalo Bueno, who says, "Music rooms, meditation rooms, and Zen gardens are some of the wellness spaces we’ve designed recently. Spaces for wellness, retreat, and recharging are all really popular right now."

Bueno notes in the article that these spaces can be serene like a spa or have a bit more energy to them. "We’re designing more music rooms, which isn’t surprising since music is so healing."

Also popular? Introvert nooks. On the lifestyle site Cup of Jo, founder and editor Joanna Goddard shares a letter from a reader named Kristen, who was feeling overwhelmed. In the letter, she writes, "I’m an introvert with a husband and four kids, so I’m always trying to find a space where I can be alone. I joked to my husband that if we could move the back wall of our bedroom forward, we could create a tiny room for me. For my 40th birthday, he did it!"

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After a follow-up phone call, Kristen revealed to Joanna, "I was crying a lot but didn’t want to cry in front of my kids. I told my husband, 'I need a cry room,' and I joked that we could move the wall up in our bedroom and create a little nook."

Kristen said she also addressed her underlying depression and anxiety with a therapist. But, her husband Jeff never forgot her initial request. She shares that the night before her 40th birthday, Jeff pulled out a card. “The front said, ‘You’re my human panic room,' and inside he had written, ‘But you might need one of your own.'” Their designer friend, Rachel, had drawn up a plan, which Jeff included in the card.

What came to be was her own tiny (mostly) private nook, accessible through a hidden door in their bookshelf. There, she can read and knit sweaters under an "Over the Rainbow" sign made by her brother. There's an entire wall adorned with cards and notes. Kristen told Joanna, "I saw that Drew Barrymore had something like that, and I’m a big words-of-affirmation person. I have so many from my kids when they were little, like ‘Happy Mother’s Day,’ but they couldn’t spell it."

There are plenty of others sharing similar cozy spaces. On TikTok (and among many interior designers), it also became known as the "Rest Corner Trend." In a 2024 article for The Spruce, writer Shagun Khare's discusses how nuanced and personal each space is. How the colors, materials of the fabrics, and, of course, layout, are all paramount to finding the relaxing space that's right for each individual.

@theintrovertedition
will literally never get over this corner of my library, peak coziness just in time for the holidays 🎄🎀✨ #booktok #homelibrary #christmas #pinkmas

She also cites designer Amy Courtney, who shares, "Cozy corners have become more than just a trend—they're a necessity. This trend will last because it aligns perfectly with the wellness movement, encouraging us to take a step back and find balance in our lives."

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interior decorating

Health

We asked people what they really enjoy that others can't understand. One answer dominated.

Interestingly, research shows that these people are particularly unlikely to be neurotic.

Canva

Some people really enjoy being alone.

We recently asked our Upworthy audience on Facebook, "What's something that you really enjoy that other people can't seem to understand?" and over 1,700 people weighed in. Some people shared things like housework, cleaning and laundry, which a lot of people see as chores. Others shared different puzzles or forms of art they like doing, and still others shared things like long car rides or grocery shopping.

But one answer dominated the list of responses. It came in various wordings, but by far the most common answer to the question was "silent solitude." Here are a few examples:

"Feeling perfectly content, when I’m all alone."

"Being home. Alone. In silence."

"That I enjoy being alone and my soul is at peace in the silence. I don't need to be around others to feel content, and it takes me days to recharge from being overstimulated after having an eventful day surrounded by others."

"Enjoying your own company. Being alone isn’t isolating oneself. It’s intentional peace and healthy… especially for deep feelers/thinkers."

Spending time by ourselves is something some of us relish, while some of us hate being alone. Naturally, this points to the common theory of introversion vs. extraversion, but in some ways, that's overly simplistic. Even the most peopley people among us can enjoy some quality alone time, and not all introverts see time alone as truly enjoyable. (It might be necessary for an introvert's well-being, but not necessarily something they truly revel in.)

Interesting, studies have found that people who enjoy being alone are not any more or less extraverted than those who don't, though they do tend to be less "sociable." They are also less likely to be neurotic (tense, moody, worrying types) than the generally population and more likely to be open-minded. Those characteristics are the opposite of what social norms often tell us about people who want to be alone.

"If our stereotypes about people who like being alone were true, then we should find that they are neurotic and closed-minded. In fact, just the opposite is true," writes Bella DePaulo, PhD.

There may be lots of reasons some people like to spend time by themselves while others don't. We are naturally social creatures and need social interaction, but some of us find ourselves overstimulated by being around other people all the time. On the flip side, some people find being alone not just unenjoyable, but extremely uncomfortable, which can be a problem.

"Ideally, we should be comfortable with ourselves, alone or with others," writes psychologist Tara Well Ph.D.. "If you are uncomfortable being alone, it means you are uncomfortable being with yourself without distraction, engagement, or affirmation from others. This can be a liability in life. If you cannot be alone, you may stay in situations or make life choices that aren’t good for you in the long run, like staying in a job or a relationship, mainly because you can’t tolerate being alone while transitioning to a better situation."

Dr. Well also points out that people can make the most of their alone time, even if it's not something they naturally enjoy. One way is to make it purposeful, setting aside a little time daily to write in a journal, meditate, go for a walk or otherwise engage your mind and body in some form of reflection. Another is to pay attention to self-judgments that might make alone time uncomfortable and challenge them with some compassionate confrontation and counteraction with positive thoughts about yourself.

Alone time can be refreshing and rewarding, especially if it's something you naturally crave. Some people even like to take themselves out on dates or enjoy traveling by themselves. That kind of self-care can be just as important as connecting with others for our overall health and well-being. Being alone doesn't mean being a loner and it doesn't mean being lonely. Some of us genuinely like having quality time with ourselves, whether it makes sense to other people or not.

This article originally appeared last year.

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personality

Health

The 3-step Harvard conversation trick that makes shy people more likable

This will ease social anxiety at your next party.

via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

Two people having a conversation at a party.

Many people, especially those who are introverted and shy, are uncomfortable making small talk with someone new, whether they’re at a party, work event, or just standing in line at the grocery store. However, a Harvard study revealed a simple 3-step trick to make you more likable and conversations more comfortable.

The researchers found that when approaching someone you have never met, asking a question and then 2 follow-up questions dramatically increases your likeability. The study was conducted by Harvard researchers and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors write. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

How do I make new people like me?

The study should be a big relief to shy people and introverts who are not interested in trying to impress people by going on and on about themselves.

According to the research, when you meet someone new at a party, the important thing is to approach them like it’s an interview, and you are the journalist. You just need one strong opening question and then you can follow up 2 times by asking them to clarify what they meant or expand on something they said.

via Nicole Michalou/Pexels

“Think to yourself, I need to ask at least five questions in this conversation, or I need to ask questions in this conversation, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. It’s easy to do, and — even better — requires almost no preparation,” Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School and a co-author of the study, said, according to Forbes.

People like those who ask follow-up questions not only because they enjoy talking about themselves. It also shows that their conversation partner is actively listening. They are paying attention, not looking over your shoulder at someone else. “Follow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,” the researchers write.

The findings counter the strategy many use when meeting someone for the first time, whether on a blind date or at a networking event. For many, the first step is to try and impress the new person, but research shows that’s not the case.

conversation, introverts, harvard Two people talking at a party.via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels

“The tendency to focus on the self when trying to impress others is misguided,” the study’s authors wrote, adding that “redirecting the topic of conversation to oneself, bragging, boasting or dominating the conversation, tend to decrease liking.”

It’s a pretty simple concept: people like talking about themselves and if you allow them, they’ll like you more. “Compared to those who do not ask many questions, people who do are better liked and learn more information from their conversation partners,” Brooks said. “This strategy does both. It’s an easy-to-deploy strategy anyone can use to not only be perceived as more emotionally intelligent but to actually be more emotionally intelligent as well.”

One of the studies cited by the authors focused on online dating and found that asking follow-up questions meant a greater chance of getting a second date. The researchers found that the top third of question-askers got the most second dates. When researchers looked at face-to-face speed daters, where they met 20 people at a time, they found that asking one more question on each date would help someone succeed in getting a “yes I want to see you again” on one more date.

The 3-question rule has some caveats. You should make sure you're having a conversation, not an interrogation. “Asking a barrage of questions without disclosing information about yourself may come across as guarded, or worse, invasive,” Brooks says.

party, conversastion tips, harvard Some folks having fun at a party.via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

How much should I talk in a conversation?

While it’s important to ask questions when you meet someone new, you can’t let them do all the talking. Research shows that the perfect conversation ratio is 43:57. You do 43% of the talking and 57% of the listening. The goal is to make your conversation partner and new friend think, “Wow, that person really gets me” by the time the conversation ends.

The next time you find yourself in a social situation, you can feel a bit more relaxed knowing there is a scientifically proven way to ensure that people will find you likable and a good conversationalist. Remember the three-question rule: Open with a question and then ask 2 follow-ups.

This article originally appeared in September.

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Culture

The real reason so many Americans eat lunch in their cars

It might look strange, and a little sad, but it's actually perfectly healthy.

Unsplash

A person on Reddit recently noticed something funny going on at work. Many of their coworkers would choose to eat lunch in their cars instead of in the breakroom or other communal spaces.

"As an Asian immigrant, I find it very odd to see my American (mostly white) co-workers eating by themselves in their cars in the parking lot during lunch times," the user wrote. "I asked them to join my lunch group at the picnic tables but they declined with a straight face. Do most Americans not like to socialize during their lunch break?"

This is a question that comes up a lot. And I mean, a lot. It seems to be a huge point of cultural confusion for folks who weren't born and raised in America.

Curious minds really want to know!

I notice it all the time myself, and not just at meal times.

When I pull into parking lots, I'll often take a look around and find at least one of the cars next to me is occupied by someone who seems to be just sitting there.

So what's the deal: Why do Americans love eating or just sitting in their car alone?

People who eat alone in the car aren't being anti-social, and they're not sad and lonely. They just need a chance to recharge.

The introverts of Reddit were quick to educate the OP on what's really going on here.

The short answer? The modern world is incredibly over-stimulating for many of us, and even something that seems relaxing — like eating and chatting with coworkers — can be even more of a drain.

Eating lunch in the car might be the only peace and quiet we get all day.

Woman sitting alone in car Unsplash

"We tend to think of our lunch breaks as personal time to ourselves. Some people will want to eat lunch with coworkers, but others would rather listen to music, talk to family members, or read a book for example. Or just take a nap! People who are more introverted also tend to feel tired by being around people and recharged by being alone." - LarsAlereon

"For a lot of us, being social is emotionally draining. We do it as part of our jobs because we have to. When we have the opportunity to not have to be social, we take it." - ElbowDancer

"My car seats are a million times more comfortable than any other seating option at any job that doesn't involve sitting in a comfy car seat and I can watch videos in YouTube at a comfortable volume without worry about keeping it low enough to not bother other people and yet loud enough to hear myself." - Empty401K

"Introverts need to introvert." - 44035

Could people seek solitary time in other places? Sure. If you work in an office, you could eat at your desk, or maybe go to a nearby cafe or restaurant by yourself where you'd be free to put in headphones and tune out for a while.

But there's something special about the car. It's incredibly quiet (except for whatever music or podcast or TV show you decide to put on), comfortable, and your chances of being interrupted are extremely low. You have complete privacy (almost) and it feels like your own little bubble, completely isolated from the stresses of the outside world.

It's rare to find any other time or place during your day that can offer almost zero stimulation.

I do some of my best thinking in the car! Sometimes I'll sit or drive in silence and just think — hashing out problems, generating creative ideas, or planning what's next in the day. My brain seems to focus better in the silence and isolation of the car better than almost anywhere else.

Car lunch might be on the rise in a post-pandemic world. More people are recognizing their need to recharge, and that's a good thing.

Some people and experts theorize that COVID lockdowns resulted in many of us "becoming more introverted" or having a lower tolerance for and interest in socializing.

That could be a part of why we're seeing even more people eating in their cars now as offices continue to open up.

"During the pandemic, we got used to having more control over our work environments, even if they were at home, so transitioning back into office life might feel overwhelming. The car becomes a kind of 'portable personal space,' a middle ground between total isolation and constant socialization," says psychologist Caitlin Slavens.

There are also cultural factors to consider. American culture, for better or worse, prioritizes individuality over community.

"Culturally, Americans value productivity and individuality, so it makes sense that many prefer a brief personal escape over making small talk on their lunch break. In other cultures, communal eating is seen as a time to connect, but here, the balance often tips towards individual routines and personal comfort—even if that’s alone in a car," says Slavens.

A lot of people don't feel the need to get that sense of community and connection from their coworkers. We save that for our friends and family, which seems like a healthy boundary to me.

Eating alone, or just sitting by yourself, in the car is a perfectly healthy way to decompress and recharge. If you've never tried it, you might really like it — as funny as it can look! And if you notice other people doing it, just remember that they're probably not sad and waiting for an invite to lunch.

In fact, they may be feeling the happiest and most peaceful that they'll feel all day.

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Joy

Someone accidentally started a 'silent book club' and introverts are giddy over the idea

This is heaven for some of us.

Photo credit: Canva

Being social doesn't have to entail lots of talking.

Not all bookworms are introverts and not all introverts are bookworms, but it's probably safe to say there's significant overlap between the two. And while some introverted bookworms might enjoy a traditional book club where everyone reads the same book and discusses it at length, others might not. For some, that much forced talking isn't desirable, but that doesn't necessarily mean they don't want some kind of social experience connecting them to other readers.

There's an ideal solution for those folks—the silent book club.

A user on Reddit (u/ccomplished_Arm3647) shared what a silent book club entails and how they accidentally created one at their local coffee shop:

from CasualConversation

"So, here's a funny little story about how I unintentionally created a new social group in my town. A few weeks ago, I was at my favorite coffee shop, deeply engrossed in a novel. An older gentleman approached me and asked what I was reading. We had a brief but lovely chat about books. The next week, I was there again with a different book. The same man showed up, this time with his own book. We nodded at each other, smiled, and went back to our reading. Week three: I arrive to find the man already there. He's brought a friend. They're both reading silently. I join them at their table, and we all read in comfortable silence for an hour. Fast forward to yesterday. I walk into the coffee shop, and there are TWELVE people scattered around, all silently reading books. The barista grins at me and says, 'Your club is getting pretty popular!' Apparently, word had spread about the 'Silent Book Club' that meets every Wednesday at 4 PM. People just show up, read whatever they want, and occasionally chat during coffee refill breaks. I've accidentally created the most introvert-friendly book club ever, and I'm happy about it."

Silent book clubs allow people to be sociable without having to be overly social

People are loving the idea:

"Omg this is the type of book club I can get behind!!!"

"Silent Book Club is the best idea anyone has ever had."

"This is the kind of book club I need. I want to be sociable but not that much by talking."

"Silence, books and coffee, I WANT this in my life."

— (@)

Others shared that silent book clubs are an actual, organized thing in their local areas:

"We have a few Silent Book Clubs in my area. My local library started doing it twice a month. I love the coffee shop idea though."

"My town has a silent book club that's so popular you have to sign up for meetings so they don't overwhelm host locations. While this is exactly the sort of thing I'd enjoy, apparently having to preregister is too much for me."

"We had one of these in NC. We met for a social hour, then all read silently for an hour, then wrapped up with another socialization before leaving. We had 20 people at times. The waiters thought we were a hoot - sitting together but not talking for a bit. But we tipped well!"

"I didn't start it but I went to my first one of these in my town recently and it was wonderful, can't wait for the next one this week. Reckon every town should have one!"

"My local library does Adult Silent Reading hours with snacks, sounds pretty similar."

"I host one at the library! We call it BYOB!"

people in a coffee shop with books Silent book club entails minimal chatting.Photo credit: Canva

"My local indie bookshop does this - we meet in a nearby pub, everyone brings whatever they want to read. We talk about what we’re reading for 30 mins, swapping ideas, then we read in silence for an hour. And have another 30 mins of chat after. So dedicated reading time!"

"This is so cool. In our country there was a silent reading event in a park, calling all book readers to come, find their own comfort and read together. No discussion, no chats, just people reading together in silence. People can come and go as they like."

There are established Silent Book Clubs people can join all over the world

There's actually a Silent Book Club organization that has more than 1,000 chapters in 50 countries. If you can't find one near where you live, you can start one of your own.

It might be hard for someone who enjoys talking to understand, but being sociable doesn't have to include a lot of conversation. Sometimes people want to be around others who share a common interest, even if that common interest is something being done as an individual and in silence. A little casual chatting about what books people are reading is more than enough for some folks; not everyone needs or wants a full-fledged book club discussion.

If you want to find an already established silent book club in your area, check out silentbook.club and enjoy an "introvert happy hour" with fellow readers.

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Joy

Man shares what introverts would say if they revealed their true thoughts

"I wasn't looking forward to it."

Photo by RDNE Stock project/Pexels

Cancelled plans are the best plans.

While we tend to split humans into two distinct groups, extroverts and introverts, the reality is a bit more complex. While some people find socializing 100% energizing and others find it 100% draining, most of us exist somewhere on the spectrum in between.

For people who do identify as introverts, however, a certain amount of social masking feels necessary to maintain social expectations and common courtesy. If someone invites you to a big party, you act excited about the invitation despite having zero desire to go. And if you do go to that big party, you stand near the wall and bob your head to the music, while secretly calculating the minutes until you can leave without appearing rude.

It's not that you don't like people. You probably have close friends and loved ones and enjoy hanging out with in small numbers. But invites from people you're only semi-friends with or to gatherings that involve lots of people? That's when the mask goes on.

Creator Brok Bresser demonstrated how introverts would respond if they didn't wear that mask and it's hilariously accurate. His "pov: if introverts were honest" video has 1.2 million likes on Instagram, with hordes of introverts feeling seen in the comments.

Watch:

See on Instagram

That simple "I don't want to" in response to "Why?" was felt in every true introvert's heart.

"'I don't want to' is REAL 😭😭"

"Sorry I couldn’t answer your call. I didn’t want to.😭"

"'I wasn’t looking forward to it' too real💀"

"What do you mean 'HANG OUT LATER'? I’m using all my energy to be around you right now 🫠"

"Canceled plans are the best plans 🤷"

But some also pointed out a rather ironic truth:

"Buuuuttttt hear me out… we STILL WANT TO BE INVITED. 😭😭😭"

"🤣🤣🤣 I want to be invited, but I don't want to go...🤣🤣🤣"

"😂😂😂😂😂 We just want to be invited and that’s it!"

There was even some unexpected support from an extrovert in the comments, who encouraged introverts to be honest when they don't have the battery life to socialize.

"As a hardcore extrovert I LOVE my introvert folks and love when they tell the truth. Makes the time we DO hang so much better. Tell me 'no' 17 times but when that one yes hits and we hang for 36 minutes before your social battery depletes, I get to truly enjoy you. 🥰"

Hear that, introverts? It's okay to say no. (Probably don't have to add the "wasn't looking forward to it" part, though. A little masking isn't a bad thing and nobody wants to be on the receiving end of that "oop.")

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Joy

Sweet jingle to used to relax a fearful dog is the bravery anthem we all need

We are all so brave and well-behaved, aren't we?

@Macrosbymel/TikTok

People and pups are loving the "so brave" jingle.

A dog mom by the name of Mel might have only intended to soothe her pup with a sweet tune, but it has since taken on a life of its own.

“POV: you have a little jingle for the elevator to hype up your fearful baby,” Mel wrote in the text of her video posted to TikTok.

In the clip, we see Rue, an anxious rescue dog, not having a fun time in the elevator. That is until Mel reassures her with these words:

“She’s so brave; she’s well behaved / She is not afraid / She’s powerful; she’s a good girl / She is our whole world.”

As if by magic, all of Rue’s fears evaporate, replaced only by tail-wagging joy.

Watch:

@macrosbymel sorry if it gets stuck in your head #rue #ruetok #ruetherescue #dogtok #rescuedog ♬ original sound - Macros by Mel

Since posting the video, Mel’s song has been viewed over 16 million times.

Not only that, the jingle has been used to commend other “brave” souls—be they pets or people.

Introverted humans in particular have found Rue’s song to be a silly power anthem of sorts, a way to congratulate themselves for sticking to social plans, sending work emails and generally leaving the house. For being so brave.

@luisamariiaa hard decision #fyp ♬ original sound - Macros by Mel

@lilyannrosey
Brave!!!!!
♬ original sound - Macros by Mel

@kanadekrafts
Be brave!!!
♬ original sound - Macros by Mel

One person summed up the effect Rue's song had quite nicely: “POV: you heard this jingle for an anxious dog and now need to play it on repeat before doing anything even remotely social." Relatable.

But it’s not just introverts running with the joke. Other folks have played the song as they bravely went without their favorite chapstick, got up to get themselves a glass of water, actually prepared a meal rather than just snacking…the list goes on and on.

@simonsits
Triggered to the max rn
♬ original sound - Macros by Mel

@alxndrathegreatest
its really tough being so brave at night after i have tucked myself into bed but i am hungry for a little treat
♬ original sound - Macros by Mel

@eathappierdietitian
♬ original sound - Macros by Mel

Basically, if there’s an obstacle you have yet to overcome, no matter how big or small, this tune acts as an invocation to bring out your most unafraid self. It’s amazing how just one little song has the power to do that for so many beings.

Now go forth and be brave!

From Your Site Articles

video

introverts

A woman joked that she need a 'cry room.' So her husband built one for her.

Their designer friend Rachel helped draw up a plan.

We asked people what they really enjoy that others can't understand. One answer dominated.

Interestingly, research shows that these people are particularly unlikely to be neurotic.

How do I make new people like me?

How much should I talk in a conversation?

The real reason so many Americans eat lunch in their cars

It might look strange, and a little sad, but it's actually perfectly healthy.

People who eat alone in the car aren't being anti-social, and they're not sad and lonely. They just need a chance to recharge.

Car lunch might be on the rise in a post-pandemic world. More people are recognizing their need to recharge, and that's a good thing.

Silent book clubs allow people to be sociable without having to be overly social

There are established Silent Book Clubs people can join all over the world

Man shares what introverts would say if they revealed their true thoughts

"I wasn't looking forward to it."

Sweet jingle to used to relax a fearful dog is the bravery anthem we all need

We are all so brave and well-behaved, aren't we?

A guy planted two potatoes in an Amazon shipping box to prove a point. Mission accomplished.

6th grader's science experiment answers, 'Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?'

Inside a Dutch 'dementia village,' where the whole neighborhood is designed for memory loss

8th grader's award-winning experiment tested if dogs' tongues are really cleaner than ours

12 unforgettable side-by-side photos of people over 100-years-old with their younger selves

What will Earth look like if all its land ice melts? These maps show the clear answer.

We have a small favor to ask of you

introverts

Their designer friend Rachel helped draw up a plan.

Interestingly, research shows that these people are particularly unlikely to be neurotic.

This will ease social anxiety at your next party.

How do I make new people like me?

How much should I talk in a conversation?

It might look strange, and a little sad, but it's actually perfectly healthy.

People who eat alone in the car aren't being anti-social, and they're not sad and lonely. They just need a chance to recharge.

Car lunch might be on the rise in a post-pandemic world. More people are recognizing their need to recharge, and that's a good thing.

This is heaven for some of us.

Silent book clubs allow people to be sociable without having to be overly social

There are established Silent Book Clubs people can join all over the world

"I wasn't looking forward to it."

We are all so brave and well-behaved, aren't we?