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introverts

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A woman said she needed a crying room so her husband built one

For most of us, the world can seem chaotic. With the influx of a 24-hour news cycle, constant social media scrolling, and the day-to-day fires we're so often putting out, we need an anxiety-reducing space to help us take it down a notch. Interior designers have taken note and have begun creating "Wellness Rooms"–with "introvert nooks" as the latest trend.

Think smaller and cozier, surrounded by warm and inviting items, specifically curated for each person. In the same way Dachshunds like to burrow under the covers, a lot of humans do too—at least in a metaphorical sense. Interior designers have definitely taken this into account.

In the Associated Press article, "Wellness Rooms Are Claiming Space in Many Homes," author Kim Cook writes, "We’re seeing rooms transformed into sanctuaries of self-care." She shares the thoughts of Dallas designer Gonzalo Bueno, who says, "Music rooms, meditation rooms, and Zen gardens are some of the wellness spaces we’ve designed recently. Spaces for wellness, retreat, and recharging are all really popular right now."

Bueno notes in the article that these spaces can be serene like a spa or have a bit more energy to them. "We’re designing more music rooms, which isn’t surprising since music is so healing."

Also popular? Introvert nooks. On the lifestyle site Cup of Jo, founder and editor Joanna Goddard shares a letter from a reader named Kristen, who was feeling overwhelmed. In the letter, she writes, "I’m an introvert with a husband and four kids, so I’m always trying to find a space where I can be alone. I joked to my husband that if we could move the back wall of our bedroom forward, we could create a tiny room for me. For my 40th birthday, he did it!"

After a follow-up phone call, Kristen revealed to Joanna, "I was crying a lot but didn’t want to cry in front of my kids. I told my husband, 'I need a cry room,' and I joked that we could move the wall up in our bedroom and create a little nook."

Kristen said she also addressed her underlying depression and anxiety with a therapist. But, her husband Jeff never forgot her initial request. She shares that the night before her 40th birthday, Jeff pulled out a card. “The front said, ‘You’re my human panic room,' and inside he had written, ‘But you might need one of your own.'” Their designer friend, Rachel, had drawn up a plan, which Jeff included in the card.

What came to be was her own tiny (mostly) private nook, accessible through a hidden door in their bookshelf. There, she can read and knit sweaters under an "Over the Rainbow" sign made by her brother. There's an entire wall adorned with cards and notes. Kristen told Joanna, "I saw that Drew Barrymore had something like that, and I’m a big words-of-affirmation person. I have so many from my kids when they were little, like ‘Happy Mother’s Day,’ but they couldn’t spell it."

There are plenty of others sharing similar cozy spaces. On TikTok (and among many interior designers), it also became known as the "Rest Corner Trend." In a 2024 article for The Spruce, writer Shagun Khare's discusses how nuanced and personal each space is. How the colors, materials of the fabrics, and, of course, layout, are all paramount to finding the relaxing space that's right for each individual.

@theintrovertedition

will literally never get over this corner of my library, peak coziness just in time for the holidays 🎄🎀✨ #booktok #homelibrary #christmas #pinkmas

She also cites designer Amy Courtney, who shares, "Cozy corners have become more than just a trend—they're a necessity. This trend will last because it aligns perfectly with the wellness movement, encouraging us to take a step back and find balance in our lives."

Being social doesn't have to entail lots of talking.

Not all bookworms are introverts and not all introverts are bookworms, but it's probably safe to say there's significant overlap between the two. And while some introverted bookworms might enjoy a traditional book club where everyone reads the same book and discusses it at length, others might not. For some, that much forced talking isn't desirable, but that doesn't necessarily mean they don't want some kind of social experience connecting them to other readers.

There's an ideal solution for those folks—the silent book club.


A user on Reddit (u/ccomplished_Arm3647) shared what a silent book club entails and how they accidentally created one at their local coffee shop:

"So, here's a funny little story about how I unintentionally created a new social group in my town. A few weeks ago, I was at my favorite coffee shop, deeply engrossed in a novel. An older gentleman approached me and asked what I was reading. We had a brief but lovely chat about books. The next week, I was there again with a different book. The same man showed up, this time with his own book. We nodded at each other, smiled, and went back to our reading. Week three: I arrive to find the man already there. He's brought a friend. They're both reading silently. I join them at their table, and we all read in comfortable silence for an hour. Fast forward to yesterday. I walk into the coffee shop, and there are TWELVE people scattered around, all silently reading books. The barista grins at me and says, 'Your club is getting pretty popular!' Apparently, word had spread about the 'Silent Book Club' that meets every Wednesday at 4 PM. People just show up, read whatever they want, and occasionally chat during coffee refill breaks. I've accidentally created the most introvert-friendly book club ever, and I'm happy about it."

Silent book clubs allow people to be sociable without having to be overly social

People are loving the idea:

"Omg this is the type of book club I can get behind!!!"

"Silent Book Club is the best idea anyone has ever had."

"This is the kind of book club I need. I want to be sociable but not that much by talking."

"Silence, books and coffee, I WANT this in my life."

Others shared that silent book clubs are an actual, organized thing in their local areas:

"We have a few Silent Book Clubs in my area. My local library started doing it twice a month. I love the coffee shop idea though."

"My town has a silent book club that's so popular you have to sign up for meetings so they don't overwhelm host locations. While this is exactly the sort of thing I'd enjoy, apparently having to preregister is too much for me."

"We had one of these in NC. We met for a social hour, then all read silently for an hour, then wrapped up with another socialization before leaving. We had 20 people at times. The waiters thought we were a hoot - sitting together but not talking for a bit. But we tipped well!"

"I didn't start it but I went to my first one of these in my town recently and it was wonderful, can't wait for the next one this week. Reckon every town should have one!"

"My local library does Adult Silent Reading hours with snacks, sounds pretty similar."

"I host one at the library! We call it BYOB!"

people in a coffee shop with booksSilent book club entails minimal chatting.Photo credit: Canva

"My local indie bookshop does this - we meet in a nearby pub, everyone brings whatever they want to read. We talk about what we’re reading for 30 mins, swapping ideas, then we read in silence for an hour. And have another 30 mins of chat after. So dedicated reading time!"

"This is so cool. In our country there was a silent reading event in a park, calling all book readers to come, find their own comfort and read together. No discussion, no chats, just people reading together in silence. People can come and go as they like."

There are established Silent Book Clubs people can join all over the world

There's actually a Silent Book Club organization that has more than 1,000 chapters in 50 countries. If you can't find one near where you live, you can start one of your own.

It might be hard for someone who enjoys talking to understand, but being sociable doesn't have to include a lot of conversation. Sometimes people want to be around others who share a common interest, even if that common interest is something being done as an individual and in silence. A little casual chatting about what books people are reading is more than enough for some folks; not everyone needs or wants a full-fledged book club discussion.

If you want to find an already established silent book club in your area, check out silentbook.club and enjoy an "introvert happy hour" with fellow readers.

Cancelled plans are the best plans.

While we tend to split humans into two distinct groups, extroverts and introverts, the reality is a bit more complex. While some people find socializing 100% energizing and others find it 100% draining, most of us exist somewhere on the spectrum in between.

For people who do identify as introverts, however, a certain amount of social masking feels necessary to maintain social expectations and common courtesy. If someone invites you to a big party, you act excited about the invitation despite having zero desire to go. And if you do go to that big party, you stand near the wall and bob your head to the music, while secretly calculating the minutes until you can leave without appearing rude.


It's not that you don't like people. You probably have close friends and loved ones and enjoy hanging out with in small numbers. But invites from people you're only semi-friends with or to gatherings that involve lots of people? That's when the mask goes on.

Creator Brok Bresser demonstrated how introverts would respond if they didn't wear that mask and it's hilariously accurate. His "pov: if introverts were honest" video has 1.2 million likes on Instagram, with hordes of introverts feeling seen in the comments.

Watch:


That simple "I don't want to" in response to "Why?" was felt in every true introvert's heart.

"'I don't want to' is REAL 😭😭"

"Sorry I couldn’t answer your call. I didn’t want to.😭"

"'I wasn’t looking forward to it' too real💀"

"What do you mean 'HANG OUT LATER'? I’m using all my energy to be around you right now 🫠"

"Canceled plans are the best plans 🤷"

But some also pointed out a rather ironic truth:

"Buuuuttttt hear me out… we STILL WANT TO BE INVITED. 😭😭😭"

"🤣🤣🤣 I want to be invited, but I don't want to go...🤣🤣🤣"

"😂😂😂😂😂 We just want to be invited and that’s it!"

There was even some unexpected support from an extrovert in the comments, who encouraged introverts to be honest when they don't have the battery life to socialize.

"As a hardcore extrovert I LOVE my introvert folks and love when they tell the truth. Makes the time we DO hang so much better. Tell me 'no' 17 times but when that one yes hits and we hang for 36 minutes before your social battery depletes, I get to truly enjoy you. 🥰"

Hear that, introverts? It's okay to say no. (Probably don't have to add the "wasn't looking forward to it" part, though. A little masking isn't a bad thing and nobody wants to be on the receiving end of that "oop.")


@Macrosbymel/TikTok

People and pups are loving the "so brave" jingle.

A dog mom by the name of Mel might have only intended to soothe her pup with a sweet tune, but it has since taken on a life of its own.

“POV: you have a little jingle for the elevator to hype up your fearful baby,” Mel wrote in the text of her video posted to TikTok.

In the clip, we see Rue, an anxious rescue dog, not having a fun time in the elevator. That is until Mel reassures her with these words:

“She’s so brave; she’s well behaved / She is not afraid / She’s powerful; she’s a good girl / She is our whole world.”

As if by magic, all of Rue’s fears evaporate, replaced only by tail-wagging joy.

Watch:

@macrosbymel sorry if it gets stuck in your head #rue #ruetok #ruetherescue #dogtok #rescuedog ♬ original sound - Macros by Mel

Since posting the video, Mel’s song has been viewed over 16 million times.

Not only that, the jingle has been used to commend other “brave” souls—be they pets or people.

Introverted humans in particular have found Rue’s song to be a silly power anthem of sorts, a way to congratulate themselves for sticking to social plans, sending work emails and generally leaving the house. For being so brave.

@kanadekrafts

Be brave!!!

♬ original sound - Macros by Mel

One person summed up the effect Rue's song had quite nicely: “POV: you heard this jingle for an anxious dog and now need to play it on repeat before doing anything even remotely social." Relatable.

But it’s not just introverts running with the joke. Other folks have played the song as they bravely went without their favorite chapstick, got up to get themselves a glass of water, actually prepared a meal rather than just snacking…the list goes on and on.

@alxndrathegreatest

its really tough being so brave at night after i have tucked myself into bed but i am hungry for a little treat

♬ original sound - Macros by Mel
@eathappierdietitian

♬ original sound - Macros by Mel

Basically, if there’s an obstacle you have yet to overcome, no matter how big or small, this tune acts as an invocation to bring out your most unafraid self. It’s amazing how just one little song has the power to do that for so many beings.

Now go forth and be brave!