introverts

A person on Reddit recently noticed something funny going on at work. Many of their coworkers would choose to eat lunch in their cars instead of in the breakroom or other communal spaces.

"As an Asian immigrant, I find it very odd to see my American (mostly white) co-workers eating by themselves in their cars in the parking lot during lunch times," the user wrote. "I asked them to join my lunch group at the picnic tables but they declined with a straight face. Do most Americans not like to socialize during their lunch break?"

This is a question that comes up a lot. And I mean, a lot. It seems to be a huge point of cultural confusion for folks who weren't born and raised in America.

Curious minds really want to know!

I notice it all the time myself, and not just at meal times.

When I pull into parking lots, I'll often take a look around and find at least one of the cars next to me is occupied by someone who seems to be just sitting there.

So what's the deal: Why do Americans love eating or just sitting in their car alone?

People who eat alone in the car aren't being anti-social, and they're not sad and lonely. They just need a chance to recharge.

The introverts of Reddit were quick to educate the OP on what's really going on here.

The short answer? The modern world is incredibly over-stimulating for many of us, and even something that seems relaxing — like eating and chatting with coworkers — can be even more of a drain.

Eating lunch in the car might be the only peace and quiet we get all day.

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"We tend to think of our lunch breaks as personal time to ourselves. Some people will want to eat lunch with coworkers, but others would rather listen to music, talk to family members, or read a book for example. Or just take a nap! People who are more introverted also tend to feel tired by being around people and recharged by being alone." - LarsAlereon

"For a lot of us, being social is emotionally draining. We do it as part of our jobs because we have to. When we have the opportunity to not have to be social, we take it." - ElbowDancer

"My car seats are a million times more comfortable than any other seating option at any job that doesn't involve sitting in a comfy car seat and I can watch videos in YouTube at a comfortable volume without worry about keeping it low enough to not bother other people and yet loud enough to hear myself." - Empty401K

"Introverts need to introvert." - 44035

Could people seek solitary time in other places? Sure. If you work in an office, you could eat at your desk, or maybe go to a nearby cafe or restaurant by yourself where you'd be free to put in headphones and tune out for a while.

But there's something special about the car. It's incredibly quiet (except for whatever music or podcast or TV show you decide to put on), comfortable, and your chances of being interrupted are extremely low. You have complete privacy (almost) and it feels like your own little bubble, completely isolated from the stresses of the outside world.

It's rare to find any other time or place during your day that can offer almost zero stimulation.

I do some of my best thinking in the car! Sometimes I'll sit or drive in silence and just think — hashing out problems, generating creative ideas, or planning what's next in the day. My brain seems to focus better in the silence and isolation of the car better than almost anywhere else.

Car lunch might be on the rise in a post-pandemic world. More people are recognizing their need to recharge, and that's a good thing.

Some people and experts theorize that COVID lockdowns resulted in many of us "becoming more introverted" or having a lower tolerance for and interest in socializing.

That could be a part of why we're seeing even more people eating in their cars now as offices continue to open up.

"During the pandemic, we got used to having more control over our work environments, even if they were at home, so transitioning back into office life might feel overwhelming. The car becomes a kind of 'portable personal space,' a middle ground between total isolation and constant socialization," says psychologist Caitlin Slavens.

There are also cultural factors to consider. American culture, for better or worse, prioritizes individuality over community.

"Culturally, Americans value productivity and individuality, so it makes sense that many prefer a brief personal escape over making small talk on their lunch break. In other cultures, communal eating is seen as a time to connect, but here, the balance often tips towards individual routines and personal comfort—even if that’s alone in a car," says Slavens.

A lot of people don't feel the need to get that sense of community and connection from their coworkers. We save that for our friends and family, which seems like a healthy boundary to me.

Eating alone, or just sitting by yourself, in the car is a perfectly healthy way to decompress and recharge. If you've never tried it, you might really like it — as funny as it can look! And if you notice other people doing it, just remember that they're probably not sad and waiting for an invite to lunch.

In fact, they may be feeling the happiest and most peaceful that they'll feel all day.