upworthy

introverts

Pop Culture

Couple's viral Elvis wedding shows what happens when an extrovert marries an introvert

The minute she began belting he was fleeing the scene.

@ortaledri/TikTok

Proof that opposites attract.

A video of a Vegas wedding, wherein a bride appears to be chasing down her groom while belting out Elvis’ “Can’t Help Falling in Love With You,” not only went mega-viral on social media, it incited a perpetual flurry of negative comments.

Upon first glance, perhaps some of the conclusions people jumped to were understandable. First off, you’ve got a Vegas wedding, Elvis and all—which tends to lend itself to the stereotype of rushed or even forced nuptials.

Second, even in the onscreen text, the bride wrote “you decided to surprise your camera-shy husband with a wedding song and you had to chase him down the chapel because he disappeared on you."

With these factors in mind, it’s no wonder that people saw the little-over-a-minute-long clip and thought the husband might not want to be part of the ceremony at all, or that the wife was pressuring him in some way.

Watch:

@ortaledri Surprising my shy husband with his favorite Elvis song at our Vegas wedding ended up Elvis enjoyed it more 😭 #canthelpfallinginlove #elvis #wedding #elvispresley ♬ original sound - Ortal Edri

Needless to say, comments looked a little something like this:

“Bro looks like he would rather be in a dentist’s chair..!”

“Poor guy looks so uncomfortable.”

“This looks like his worst nightmare.”

“Is he marrying you willingly?”

However, after talking to Ortal Edri and Shamir Fink—the bride and groom, respectively—folks might be compelled to think that nothing all that questionable was going on at all. Rather, it was simply a case of an extrovert marrying an introvert (something many of us can relate to).

Turns out, both Edri and Fink met making music (Edri is a professional singer and Fink a producer). For over twelve years, they’ve been recording out of their Blue Fire Studio, where they work as a team. Edri told Upworthy that for every live performance she does, Fink is there with her, running sound.

Having only a few days to prepare, Edri, who knew she wanted to surprise Fink by singing at the ceremony, chose to sing “Can’t Help Falling in Love” to honor Fink’s late father, who was a “big fan of Elvis and loved that song” according to Today.

On the big day, Edri recalls that there were nerves, excitement (and drinks) involved, for both parties. But she went on with the surprise as planned, and tried to “take the lead” to “ease the pressure” from her groom, who was already a little "overwhelmed."

Fink, who normally stays far away from the spotlight, was reacting more to being filmed than anything else. It was the first time he has been in a video with Edri, after all.

Knowing this, the clip tells a slightly different story. After all, it’s not uncommon for introverts and extroverts to be attracted to the opposing energies of their partners. As psychologist and podcaster Abby Medcalf PhD explains, the challenge normally is found in maintaining the relationship since each person has “different wants and needs.” One partner wants to go out when the other wants to stay at home, for example. Or in this case, one partner wants to be center stage with a mic in hand and the other wants to stay behind the scenes.

However, Medcalf says that harmony is established when partners don’t try to change each other, but instead make agreements and/or compromises that honor those differences. Part of that might mean getting out of our respective social comfort zone from time to time.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

While Edri noted that the video did receive a lot of hate, she and Fink also received an “incredible amount of support, love, and encouragement.”

“Many people, especially couples who are opposites, connected to the video and told us how much it made them smile. It was a great reminder that opposites really do complement each other. If we were both the type to want the spotlight, it probably wouldn’t work!”

Just goes to show that a small video never tells the whole story. For other introvert/extrovert relationships out there—the world might not understand, but as long as you understand each other, that’s what counts.

As for Edri and Fink—they are currently working on a debut album. Follow them on TikTok and Instagram to know when it’s released.














From Your Site Articles
couples
Pop CultureInternet
Mental Health

A woman joked that she need a 'cry room.' So her husband built one for her.

Their designer friend Rachel helped draw up a plan.

Images via Canva

A woman said she needed a crying room so her husband built one

For most of us, the world can seem chaotic. With the influx of a 24-hour news cycle, constant social media scrolling, and the day-to-day fires we're so often putting out, we need an anxiety-reducing space to help us take it down a notch. Interior designers have taken note and have begun creating "Wellness Rooms"–with "introvert nooks" as the latest trend.

Think smaller and cozier, surrounded by warm and inviting items, specifically curated for each person. In the same way Dachshunds like to burrow under the covers, a lot of humans do too—at least in a metaphorical sense. Interior designers have definitely taken this into account.

In the Associated Press article, "Wellness Rooms Are Claiming Space in Many Homes," author Kim Cook writes, "We’re seeing rooms transformed into sanctuaries of self-care." She shares the thoughts of Dallas designer Gonzalo Bueno, who says, "Music rooms, meditation rooms, and Zen gardens are some of the wellness spaces we’ve designed recently. Spaces for wellness, retreat, and recharging are all really popular right now."

Bueno notes in the article that these spaces can be serene like a spa or have a bit more energy to them. "We’re designing more music rooms, which isn’t surprising since music is so healing."

Also popular? Introvert nooks. On the lifestyle site Cup of Jo, founder and editor Joanna Goddard shares a letter from a reader named Kristen, who was feeling overwhelmed. In the letter, she writes, "I’m an introvert with a husband and four kids, so I’m always trying to find a space where I can be alone. I joked to my husband that if we could move the back wall of our bedroom forward, we could create a tiny room for me. For my 40th birthday, he did it!"

After a follow-up phone call, Kristen revealed to Joanna, "I was crying a lot but didn’t want to cry in front of my kids. I told my husband, 'I need a cry room,' and I joked that we could move the wall up in our bedroom and create a little nook."

Kristen said she also addressed her underlying depression and anxiety with a therapist. But, her husband Jeff never forgot her initial request. She shares that the night before her 40th birthday, Jeff pulled out a card. “The front said, ‘You’re my human panic room,' and inside he had written, ‘But you might need one of your own.'” Their designer friend, Rachel, had drawn up a plan, which Jeff included in the card.

What came to be was her own tiny (mostly) private nook, accessible through a hidden door in their bookshelf. There, she can read and knit sweaters under an "Over the Rainbow" sign made by her brother. There's an entire wall adorned with cards and notes. Kristen told Joanna, "I saw that Drew Barrymore had something like that, and I’m a big words-of-affirmation person. I have so many from my kids when they were little, like ‘Happy Mother’s Day,’ but they couldn’t spell it."

There are plenty of others sharing similar cozy spaces. On TikTok (and among many interior designers), it also became known as the "Rest Corner Trend." In a 2024 article for The Spruce, writer Shagun Khare's discusses how nuanced and personal each space is. How the colors, materials of the fabrics, and, of course, layout, are all paramount to finding the relaxing space that's right for each individual.

@theintrovertedition

will literally never get over this corner of my library, peak coziness just in time for the holidays 🎄🎀✨ #booktok #homelibrary #christmas #pinkmas

She also cites designer Amy Courtney, who shares, "Cozy corners have become more than just a trend—they're a necessity. This trend will last because it aligns perfectly with the wellness movement, encouraging us to take a step back and find balance in our lives."

From Your Site Articles
interior decorating
Mental HealthHealth
Health

We asked people what they really enjoy that others can't understand. One answer dominated.

Interestingly, research shows that these people are particularly unlikely to be neurotic.

Canva

Some people really enjoy being alone.

We recently asked our Upworthy audience on Facebook, "What's something that you really enjoy that other people can't seem to understand?" and over 1,700 people weighed in. Some people shared things like housework, cleaning and laundry, which a lot of people see as chores. Others shared different puzzles or forms of art they like doing, and still others shared things like long car rides or grocery shopping.

But one answer dominated the list of responses. It came in various wordings, but by far the most common answer to the question was "silent solitude." Here are a few examples:

"Feeling perfectly content, when I’m all alone."

"Being home. Alone. In silence."

"That I enjoy being alone and my soul is at peace in the silence. I don't need to be around others to feel content, and it takes me days to recharge from being overstimulated after having an eventful day surrounded by others."

"Enjoying your own company. Being alone isn’t isolating oneself. It’s intentional peace and healthy… especially for deep feelers/thinkers."

Spending time by ourselves is something some of us relish, while some of us hate being alone. Naturally, this points to the common theory of introversion vs. extraversion, but in some ways, that's overly simplistic. Even the most peopley people among us can enjoy some quality alone time, and not all introverts see time alone as truly enjoyable. (It might be necessary for an introvert's well-being, but not necessarily something they truly revel in.)

Interesting, studies have found that people who enjoy being alone are not any more or less extraverted than those who don't, though they do tend to be less "sociable." They are also less likely to be neurotic (tense, moody, worrying types) than the generally population and more likely to be open-minded. Those characteristics are the opposite of what social norms often tell us about people who want to be alone.

"If our stereotypes about people who like being alone were true, then we should find that they are neurotic and closed-minded. In fact, just the opposite is true," writes Bella DePaulo, PhD.

There may be lots of reasons some people like to spend time by themselves while others don't. We are naturally social creatures and need social interaction, but some of us find ourselves overstimulated by being around other people all the time. On the flip side, some people find being alone not just unenjoyable, but extremely uncomfortable, which can be a problem.

"Ideally, we should be comfortable with ourselves, alone or with others," writes psychologist Tara Well Ph.D.. "If you are uncomfortable being alone, it means you are uncomfortable being with yourself without distraction, engagement, or affirmation from others. This can be a liability in life. If you cannot be alone, you may stay in situations or make life choices that aren’t good for you in the long run, like staying in a job or a relationship, mainly because you can’t tolerate being alone while transitioning to a better situation."

Dr. Well also points out that people can make the most of their alone time, even if it's not something they naturally enjoy. One way is to make it purposeful, setting aside a little time daily to write in a journal, meditate, go for a walk or otherwise engage your mind and body in some form of reflection. Another is to pay attention to self-judgments that might make alone time uncomfortable and challenge them with some compassionate confrontation and counteraction with positive thoughts about yourself.

Alone time can be refreshing and rewarding, especially if it's something you naturally crave. Some people even like to take themselves out on dates or enjoy traveling by themselves. That kind of self-care can be just as important as connecting with others for our overall health and well-being. Being alone doesn't mean being a loner and it doesn't mean being lonely. Some of us genuinely like having quality time with ourselves, whether it makes sense to other people or not.


This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
personality
HealthWellness
Health

The 3-step Harvard conversation trick that makes shy people more likable

This will ease social anxiety at your next party.

via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

Two people having a conversation at a party.

Many people, especially those who are introverted and shy, are uncomfortable making small talk with someone new, whether they’re at a party, work event, or just standing in line at the grocery store. However, a Harvard study revealed a simple 3-step trick to make you more likable and conversations more comfortable.

The researchers found that when approaching someone you have never met, asking a question and then 2 follow-up questions dramatically increases your likeability. The study was conducted by Harvard researchers and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors write. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

How do I make new people like me?

The study should be a big relief to shy people and introverts who are not interested in trying to impress people by going on and on about themselves.

According to the research, when you meet someone new at a party, the important thing is to approach them like it’s an interview, and you are the journalist. You just need one strong opening question and then you can follow up 2 times by asking them to clarify what they meant or expand on something they said.

via Nicole Michalou/Pexels

“Think to yourself, I need to ask at least five questions in this conversation, or I need to ask questions in this conversation, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. It’s easy to do, and — even better — requires almost no preparation,” Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School and a co-author of the study, said, according to Forbes.

People like those who ask follow-up questions not only because they enjoy talking about themselves. It also shows that their conversation partner is actively listening. They are paying attention, not looking over your shoulder at someone else. “Follow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,” the researchers write.

The findings counter the strategy many use when meeting someone for the first time, whether on a blind date or at a networking event. For many, the first step is to try and impress the new person, but research shows that’s not the case.

conversation, introverts, harvardTwo people talking at a party.via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels

“The tendency to focus on the self when trying to impress others is misguided,” the study’s authors wrote, adding that “redirecting the topic of conversation to oneself, bragging, boasting or dominating the conversation, tend to decrease liking.”

It’s a pretty simple concept: people like talking about themselves and if you allow them, they’ll like you more. “Compared to those who do not ask many questions, people who do are better liked and learn more information from their conversation partners,” Brooks said. “This strategy does both. It’s an easy-to-deploy strategy anyone can use to not only be perceived as more emotionally intelligent but to actually be more emotionally intelligent as well.”

One of the studies cited by the authors focused on online dating and found that asking follow-up questions meant a greater chance of getting a second date. The researchers found that the top third of question-askers got the most second dates. When researchers looked at face-to-face speed daters, where they met 20 people at a time, they found that asking one more question on each date would help someone succeed in getting a “yes I want to see you again” on one more date.

The 3-question rule has some caveats. You should make sure you're having a conversation, not an interrogation. “Asking a barrage of questions without disclosing information about yourself may come across as guarded, or worse, invasive,” Brooks says.

party, conversastion tips, harvardSome folks having fun at a party.via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

How much should I talk in a conversation?

While it’s important to ask questions when you meet someone new, you can’t let them do all the talking. Research shows that the perfect conversation ratio is 43:57. You do 43% of the talking and 57% of the listening. The goal is to make your conversation partner and new friend think, “Wow, that person really gets me” by the time the conversation ends.

The next time you find yourself in a social situation, you can feel a bit more relaxed knowing there is a scientifically proven way to ensure that people will find you likable and a good conversationalist. Remember the three-question rule: Open with a question and then ask 2 follow-ups.


This article originally appeared in September.

From Your Site Articles
communications tips
HealthPublic Health
Trending Stories