Being nice to each other on social media doesn't just feel novel, it might literally be holy. During his Ash Wednesday remarks, Pope Francis suggested that his devout followers take a break from trolling people on social media:
"We live in an atmosphere polluted by too much verbal violence, too many offensive and harmful words, which are amplified by the internet," he said. "Today, people insult each other as if they were saying 'Good day.'"
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Here at Upworthy, finding ways to unite and build each other up instead of tearing each other down is at the very core of our mission. Social media has created an incredibly powerful tool for self-policing that would otherwise allow so many injustices to slip through the cracks. Massive cultural milestones like the #MeToo movement literally wouldn't have happened without social media helping to power the voices of women speaking out and providing them with a forum to safely do so.
But we've also seen how the same social media outlets like Twitter and Facebook can be used to tear down the innocent or even "cancel" someone who has made mistakes but expressed a willingness to learn, apologize, and do better. Striking the right balance between righteous anger and self-righteous behavior could literally decide the next four years of our government heading into the 2020 Election season.
And we're delighted that Pope Francis seems to really get it.
Of course, Pope Francis also suggested Catholics consider giving up their TVs and phones for Lent, saying: "Lent is the right time to make room for the Word of God. It is the time to turn off the television and open the Bible. It is the time to disconnect from your cell phone and connect to the Gospel."
We're not experts on the holy word, but that might just be a bridge too far!
The best part is you don't have to be religious at all to practice a little civil discourse. Sometimes, the most powerful decision is to say nothing at all rather than add to a toxic discourse. According to Reuters, the Pope's words were "partially improvised" but they feel scripted in the best sense of the word; a guidebook for what to say, what not to say and how to navigate between the two in moments of doubt or confusion.
Speaking of Lent, Pope Francis described this moment as "a time to give up useless words, gossip, rumors, tittle-tattle and speak to God on a first-name basis."
The Pope hasn't mentioned his call for a more civil social media on social media itself. But his Ash Wednesday tweets were filled with a typically civic-minded approach to his faith that has won Francis accolades from people across faiths and those who practice no faith at all.
And for those who don't have a religious affiliation, instead of speaking to God on a first-name basis, perhaps we can start with speaking to our digital neighbors in the way in which we'd like to be spoken to.
It's OK to have disagreements. In fact, civil debates are part of the cornerstone of any healthy democracy. But dialing back the invective — going high when they go low might just be the missing part of the whole conversation.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
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Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."