A Safeway clerk screwed up big time, but these two women handled it perfectly. Further proof that one person can have a huge impact.
A dozen important signs you don't want to miss.
How easily these two words slip from our mouths, often when nothing could be further from the truth. Sometimes, it feels safer to hide our true feelings, lest someone make a judgment or have a negative reaction. Other times, it’s a social rule instilled in childhood, perhaps even through punishment. Or maybe denying is the only way to combat overwhelm—if we ignore it all long enough, things will eventually get better anyway.
At the end of the day … it’s all about avoiding further pain, isn’t it?
To quote Emily Roberts, M.A., LPC. a psychotherapist, in her article for Mind Body Green, "Deciding to bury your feelings, ignoring them, internalizing them, pretending they didn’t happen, or convincing yourself that there is no need to deal with them can literally make you sick from the stress.”
It also makes it harder for others to help, if they don’t know what’s really going on. Fortunately, mental health continues to be a topic of interest, and open conversations about red flags help to raise awareness and help people better understand one another.
On a recent Ask Reddit thread, people shared their own indirect “cries for help” they’ve either witnessed, or made themselves. Their stories were eye-opening. It’s true that some are better at hiding their struggles than others, but even those individuals often give off subtle warning signs.
You can read them below.
“Anger and irritability can be a symptom of depression. It’s harder to empathize with someone who’s having angry outbursts, but it’s still important to recognize.” – @celolex
“Some people become very quiet and docile, like if they've resigned themselves to the minimum.” – @methyltheobromine_
“Purposely avoiding sad and difficult topics. Sometimes when a person is constantly feeling like shit the last thing they want to do is bring up more negativity when hanging out with people they enjoy being around.” – @sunnyrubberboots
“Marked differences in behavior where the person becomes way more positive and energetic than normal. We tend to think of these sorts of changes as being good, but any sudden and large enough change in behavior is something you need to keep an eye on. This is especially true if they are going from a very negative pattern of thinking/behavior into an uber-positive one very quickly. Usually, those ‘now I feel like I can conquer the world’ changes are the precursor to suicide attempts and the like.” – [deleted]
“I had a girlfriend who occasionally suffered extreme bouts of depression. She’d be high energy then suddenly she would try to sleep as much as possible. She said “it just doesn’t hurt as much when you’re asleep.” Any time I hear anyone sleeping A LOT I know they are having a very difficult time and just try to be there for them.” – @CharlieTuna_
“When they start cutting off contact. That outgoing, happy person suddenly ‘just isn't up to it,’ or [saying] ‘maybe some other time,’ then something is wrong.” – @driving_andflying
“Anhedonia. Losing interest in things a person usually found to be a source of enjoyment. Depression is a very insidious illness and a very isolating one. Sometimes it can be hard to spot, because people are very conditioned to hide it.” – @kutuup1989
“One of the things I used to say when I was suicidal was, ‘I’d never just walk in front of an 18-wheeler, but I wouldn’t get out of the way, either.’ I wanted to die but didn’t want to be the one to do it because I knew that while an accident would absolutely crush my loved ones, me pulling the trigger would likely cause a chain reaction. It’s just a sort of numb acceptance. You wait and sort of hope an opportunity arises. I’m doing better now. But yeah. Second hand suicide is real.” – @starkrocket
“A reduction in food consumption. I’ve found when I’ve fallen down the hole and I just stop caring anymore I don’t eat anywhere near as much as I normally do. Instead of having the standard 3-4 meal things a day I’ll be lucky to convince myself to have 2 as I simply don’t care anymore.” – @funland8642
“It may seem a bit obvious, but when someone says that they don’t see themselves living past a certain age, or acting surprised that they made it to a certain milestone in their lives.” – @nickgio19
“When someone has obviously been crying or tears up without apparent provocation, even in a very public setting, it can be a sign that they're in too much pain even to try masking it. I've also heard of severely depressed people who abruptly 'snap out of it,' and go perky, and that can be indicative of a person who was agonizing over whether to end things, who has now decided to do so. Making that decision, sadly, gives them peace and relief.” – @FlourChild1026
“Giving a lot of personal possessions away without wanting anything in return.” – [deleted]
If you or someone you know are having thoughts of suicide or require mental health support, call or text 988 to talk to a trained counselor at the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or visit 988lifeline.org to connect with a counselor and chat in real time. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress as well as prevention and crisis resources for healthcare professionals.
Some bonds last a lifetime.
Nannies get some odd representation in popular culture, from Fran Drescher's lovable obnoxiousness in "The Nanny" to Emma Thompson's mysterious oddities in "Nanny McPhee." Families who employ nannies are also frequently portrayed as distant, out-of-touch, wealthy snobs with horribly unruly children—which can certainly be the case sometimes, but not always or even most of the time.
The reality is a wide variety of families hire help to care for children for a wide variety of reasons. And often the bonds that children form with their nannies can be wonderful, loving connections that last a lifetime.
A video of a woman surprising the nanny who helped raise her 25 years ago shows how strong and true that love can be.
The video shows the woman approaching her former nanny, Rufina, at the Publix where she was working. The woman greets Rufina and she responds politely, but is clearly a little confused about why this stranger is coming up and hugging her.
Then the moment of recognition hits, and well, you're probably going to want to grab a tissue before you watch:
I'm not the only one who's a mess here, right? Those long hugs tell a whole story all by themselves. And seeing her meet the kids of the kids she helped raise? Oof.
The people who show us love during our formative years never really leave us. And on the flip side, it's a special honor to play an integral role in child's life, and it's it's always lovely to see what they grow into.
Commenters shared how the video reminded them of their own nanny experiences.
"I was a nanny over 25 years ago in London and I can still feel those kids in my arms, in my soul.. 💞
This video is amazing! 🤗☀️"
"I have been a nanny for 40 years and even though I don’t babysit my favorite little girl anymore after watching her from 3 months to 2 1/2 years old , we are like family and I stayed with them for 10 days in February and little Addy ( who is 5 1/2 now ) came and stayed with us for 2 weeks last month and we FaceTime just about every day. They live 8 hours away and it’s too far. I miss her a lot but so blessed that my husband and I are like grandparents to her and she calls us Mama and Papa. 😍"
"This makes me want to reach out to the family I worked for when I was a nanny 😢."
"This makes me cry 😭😭😭 also because the beautiful boy I cared for as a nanny was taken away by cancer so I’ll never get this kind of reunion with him as an adult 😞😫 would have done anything too see him as a man with a family of his own ❤️. My first son is named after him ❤️ being a nanny can really make you part of the family and love the kids like your own."
"Listen, these are HER grandkids and that’s that! 😩😭😩"
"Proof love and family have no boundaries. Love builds families."
Love builds families, indeed. What a beautiful reminder that the human heart know no time or distance and the connections we make with others can last a lifetime.
"I've cried a thousand times and I'm gonna cry some more."
A surprisingly wholesome video clip of the late iconic professional wrestler "Macho Man" Randy Savage is going viral for the surprisingly vulnerable answer he gave when asked if he ever cries.
The 1992 interview with Arsenio Hall began with Hall joking that Savage's "middle name is macho," and asking if he ever cried. If you're not familiar with professional wrestling in the 1980s and early '90s it was common for the biggest names of the day—Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Ultimate Warrior, Mr. Perfect and, of course, Macho Man—to take on personas that often embodied what we might now call "toxic masculinity." Many of them were after all what they call "heels," in wrestling circles, aka the bad guys.
So, it was pretty surprising to see the downright deep and wholesome response Savage gave to Hall without hesitation.
"It's OK for macho men to show every emotion available," Savage says in the clip. "I've cried a thousand times and I'm gonna cry some more."
This explanation of macho men being able to show all emotions was probably just as relevant then as it is now. The notion that it's not just OK, but completely normal and acceptable for men to cry goes against everything that some masculine norms have told boys from a young age. Not being able to express authentic emotions outside of anger can lead to mental health issues in men.
Watch the full clip below:
"I've soared with the eagles, I've slithered with the snakes and I've been everywhere in between," Savage continued. "Understand this: Nobody likes a quitter. Nobody said life was easy. So, if you get knocked down, take the standing eight count, get back up and fight again!"
As a public figure that boys, teens and young men looked up to, it was pretty incredible to see Savage appear on national television and dispel the myth that tough guys don't cry. Taking it one step further by proudly stating that he himself had cried "a thousand times" was powerful.
While this interview was filmed in the '90s, boys and men today are still fighting against the cultural norm of the hyper-masculine male image that includes bottling up emotions and not asking for help. All men experience a range of emotions, including sadness, because men are people and Macho Man is here to remind everyone it's OK to cry. Even when you're "macho."