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Nine things new parents think they need and the more practical alternatives.

No, you actually don't need a 'pee pee teepee.'

new parents; baby; newborn; baby items
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Things new parents think they need but don't.

There's nothing like preparing for a new baby. The excitement and anticipation take hold and before you know what's happening, your baby registry is five pages long full of things you've probably never heard of. I've been there before, and now, four kids later, I can tell you with absolute certainty that there are tons of things you actually don't need. It's easy to get carried away when everything is so tiny and cute, especially 'cause marketing around baby stuff is bananas. The following offers some alternative items to the ones you'll likely only use a limited number of times before practicality takes over.


Many of us have been there, standing in the baby aisle looking like we're smuggling an oddly shaped beach ball under our now-too-small maternity shirt contemplating between the many styles of pacifiers and different types of bottles. You'd be forgiven for spending an insane amount of money on bottles shaped like a deflated spaceship that guarantee your baby will never burp, when two weeks after they're born you find out your baby actually prefers the $0.98 ones from Walmart. Figuring out what you really need is tricky enough, so let me help you out. Hold on to your bellies or shiny new babies folks, this list might blow your mind.

Baby wipes.

Baby wipes from Amazon

1. Put the Pee Pee Teepee down and back away slowly.

Aside from the word "teepee" being highly inappropriate for non-Indigenous people to use, you can go ahead and take this bad boy off your baby registry. If you're not familiar with a "pee pee teepee," it's a cone-shaped item that goes on top of your little guy's business so he doesn't accidentally pee in his eyes or on the unsuspecting diaper changer. Here's the thing, baby wipes or a baby washcloth work just as well. When my boys were little I'd just throw a wipe over their baby business while I changed the diaper, and once the dirty diaper was off, it's easy to toss the used wipe in before trashing the diaper. Easy peasy and it's one less thing to put on your list.

Disposable diaper bags.

Disposable diaper bags from Amazon

2. Diaper Genies are unnecessary and it's easy to forget they exist.

I had such high hopes for my Diaper Genie as a first-time mom. They're so cool, you shove a dirty diaper in there and twist. That's it. It locks in the odor and makes a weird-looking segmented snake of dirty diapers. Alas, when your diaper pail is in one room and you're changing a diaper on a wiggly baby in another, most times the diaper just winds up in the closest trash can. So just buy some small cheap trash cans to put in different rooms and then empty them at the end of the day. There's only so much odor a diaper genie can hold and they only take special expensive trash bags. Save your money. Get some small trash cans and those little smell good bags to toss the smelly diapers.

Receiving blankets.

Receiving blankets from Amazon

3. You can buy a swaddler but you don't actually need it.

I know this might be a controversial statement, but honestly those swaddlers are really expensive and babies quickly outgrow them. You can do the perfect swaddle with a receiving blanket for a fraction of the price and just as much energy. You know how babies come all bundled up when the nurse brings them in from the nursery? Yeah, that's a really good swaddle that will give your snuggle bug the same coziness as an expensive swaddler.

Portable baby formula dispenser.

Portable baby formula dispenser from Amazon

4. You don't have to be fancy and get a Baby Brezza.

Honestly, I had never heard of a Baby Brezza until I had my youngest, so I'm assuming its a newer invention. They're certainly cool and also really expensive and unnecessary. These little doodads are like baby Keurigs but for formula. They hold powdered formula and water, you press a button and it supposedly perfectly mixes up a warm bottle of sustenance. The price tag on these things are about the same as a larger much more needed baby item, like a car seat-stroller combo. There have also been some concerns raised by pediatricians due to some bottles not getting enough formula added.

Take the guesswork out of it and just fill the bottles by hand. You can even put water in the bottles in advance and leave them out at room temperature and use a portable formula container to put premeasured scoops in. I know it's no Baby Brezza, but you'll be $200 richer and know exactly how much formula is going into your baby's bottle.

Bottle drying rack.

Bottle drying rack from Amazon

5. Your baby doesn't need fake grass to dry their bottles on.

Don't laugh, a fake grass bottle dryer is something that actually once sat on my kitchen counter. That's about all it did because I dang sure didn't use it for more than the first week. When you're sleep deprived, you want the easiest thing available and oftentimes that's the top rack of the dishwasher or the dish rack that's already on your countertop. The things we get suckered into buying is laughable sometimes. Besides it being esthetically pleasing, you don't actually need it and a regular bottle rack, in fact, works better because there are no removable trees holding the nipples.

Receiving blankets.

Receiving blankets from Amazon

6. Side eye anyone that says you need embroidered burp cloths.

Don't fall for it. Yes, purpose-made burp cloths can be super cute but they're literally used to catch baby puke. These things are too small to cover the area needed to prevent your back and shoulder from becoming a casualty of a little guy eating too fast. Remember those receiving blankets we talked about earlier? Yeah, they are much more absorbent and cover more of your body to spare you having to change clothes. Those flannel blankets are versatile. You can use them for swaddling, to cover a car seat or stroller, for burp cloths or even a clean area to change the baby on. There's no such thing as too many receiving blankets. I'll make it easy for you, grab a pack here.

NoseFrida.

NoseFrida from Amazon

7. Skip the bulb syringe and splurge on the NoseFrida.

The hospital will give you a useless bulb syringe that only the nurses know how to work, because I swear no matter how hard you squeeze the bulb you barely get anything out. Bulb syringes even come with many newborn essential sets. I'm sure they work, but they seem to take way too much effort for the little bit of mucus they pull out. Get the NoseFrida—yes, it's a little more expensive but it's worth it, even though it seems gross. I promise the hygiene filter that goes in the tube will spare you from getting baby boogers in your mouth. You can literally use that thing well into the toddler years until your little one learns to blow their nose. Can't speak highly enough of this thing and here's a link to it here.

Pack 'n' Play

Basic Pack 'n' Play from Amazon

8. Do you really need a Pack 'n' Play that turns into a rocket ship?

OK, maybe it doesn't turn into a rocket ship but some of those things are so outrageous that you might need to be a rocket scientist to put it together. Pack 'n' Plays are really convenient and a great investment for new parents, especially if you like to travel or have family out of state. You can use it so your baby can sleep in your bedroom until you're ready for the switch to sleeping away from your little one. Just try not to get distracted by all the bells and whistles and stick to the basics. A Pack 'n' Play with a bassinet is really all you need. It's much cheaper and you'll use the bassinet piece much longer than the ones that come with other parts.

Teething rings.

Teething rings from Amazon

9. Expensive teething jewelry is overrated.

Fancy teething jewelry is cute and has become quite popular lately, but babies don't really need it. They are perfectly happy with the normal water-filled teething rings or rubber ones that can be thrown in any diaper bag. They're tried and true, plus they're designed specifically for teething. While the jewelry is marketed for teething babies, doctors have warned that they're not safe enough to use for that purpose. Besides, having a baby is expensive enough, no need to add to it when you can pick up teething rings at just about any store for a reasonable price.

The idea that everything for babies has to be the most expensive top-of-the-line things is just marketing. When it comes down to it, babies need very basic things: a safe place to sleep, food, diapers and lots of love. Everything else is extra and you can be as extra as you'd like but it should never feel like it's a necessity. Your baby will love you whether you have the Baby Brezza or mix their bottles by hand, promise.


This article originally appeared on 9.16.22

empty nester, empty nesters, declutter, decluttering, decluttering tips

Mom and empty nester shares her tips for decluttering her home.

Deep cleaning and decluttering a home is a daunting task—especially for empty nesters. After spending a lifetime creating memories and living together under one roof, doing a big declutter can take an emotional toll.

It's a milestone that many empty nesters know the sting of. And in a cleaning community on Reddit, a 51-year-old mom and recent empty nester shared her experience cleaning and decluttering her home after entering this new phase of life.


"In my entire life, my house has always been messy. I mean, I didn’t have a disaster-level situation going on, but if someone dropped by unannounced, it would’ve been super embarrassing," she shared. "When my kids were younger, we had a housekeeper because I just couldn’t keep up. Now that we’re empty nesters, I realized I never really learned how to keep house."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She explained that the book Unf*ck Your Habitat: You're Better Than Your Mess played an integral part in helping her declutter—and offered eight helpful tips to fellow empty nesters looking to organize their new lives.

1. Put stuff away, not down.

Her first tip is the key to decluttering.

"Whatever you have goes right back where it’s supposed to go when I’m done with it," she notes.

2. Do laundry every day.

And she doesn't just wash and dry her laundry when doing it.

"Just one load, start to finish. Wash, dry, fold, and put away," she shares. "Also, no chair or floor laundry. It gets put in the hamper or hung back up. No clothes are ever out."

3. I make the bed every day.

The benefits keep on giving by doing this, she notes.

"It just makes my bedroom look cleaner and I smile every time I come in my room," she writes. "Plus we aren’t fighting over the covers when we get in because the bed is straightened out."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Do a quick daily clean-up of commonly used spaces.

She cleans the places that she and her husband use frequently.

"I keep a stack of cleaning rags in my master bath because it’s the only bathroom that’s used every single day. Every night, I spray the counter, wipe everything down, put everything back (that my husband leaves out), and wipe the mirror," she explains. "I also wipe down the toilet. I find that I don’t need a huge, big cleaning of this space because I’m keeping it up daily. Same goes for the kitchen."

5. Dishes are always put away, cabinet or dishwasher.

No dishes in the sink or stuck in the dishwasher.

"Dishes are finished in the dishwasher? It’s emptied and dirty ones are placed inside while waiting for the dishwasher to get full," she notes.

@brunchwithbabs

Life Changing Dishwasher Hack #tutorials #kitchenhacks #parentsoftiktok #dishwasherhack

6. Don't neglect your shoes.

When she takes them off, they get put away.

"Shoes are put away immediately upon walking in the house," she shares.

7. Knock out small tasks.

There is no time to waste.

"If it takes less than 5 minutes clean it while you’re waiting for something else to get done," she writes.

8. Take no days off.

Rather than assign certain days for cleaning, she is constantly doing it throughout the week.

"Lastly, I do not have scheduled cleaning days. I just do something all the time," she explains. "My life is kind of unpredictable, we love traveling or going out for the day so my so called cleaning schedule would be shot to hell every time. It’s better this way, because now I never feel behind."

bee gees, how deep is your love, bee gees live

The Bee Gees singing "How Deep is Your Love" in 1998.

Not all live performances are created equal, but when the circumstances and the talent are just right, they can far surpass studio recordings. In 1998, the Bee Gees, brothers Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb, stopped by ITV’s “Des O'Connor Tonight” with acoustic guitars in hand to promote their recent release, “One Night Only,” an album and live concert DVD featuring many of the band’s biggest hits.

The highlight of the performance was when Barry got ready to strum his guitar for a performance of “How Deep Is Your Love,” the 1977 megahit from the “Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack,” but instead chose to sing the song a cappella.


Barry starts the song solo in his beautiful falsetto, but then, when his brothers join him, they create a wonderful harmony that only brothers can make. The show’s host, Des O’Connor, a notable singer himself, even joins in for a few bars.

- YouTube youtu.be

Earlier in the performance, the brothers played their version of “Islands in the Stream,” a song made famous by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers in 1983 that was written by the Bee Gees. In 1998, the song was enjoying a resurgence as its melody was used in the song “Ghetto Supastar” by Pras of The Fugees.

Robin Gibb later admitted that the song was initially written for Marvin Gaye to sing, but he was tragically murdered in 1984 by his father. The band also had Diana Ross in mind while composing the tune.

During the appearance, the band also sang “Guilty,” a song that the Bee Gees wrote for Barbara Streisand and Barry produced in 1980.

You can watch the entire performance here:

- YouTube youtu.be

The Gibb brothers started making music together when they were children, and after their first public appearance together at a local movie theater in 1956, they were hooked on performing.

“It was the feeling of standing in front of an audience that was so amazing," said Barry. "We’d never seen anything like it. We were very young, but it made an enormous impression. We didn’t want to do anything else but make music.”

After the family moved to Australia in 1958, Barry, Maurice, and Robin were "discovered" at the Redcliffe Speedway, where they had asked to perform between races. Even over the tinny PA system, their harmonies made an impression. Speedway manager Bill Goode introduced the trio to DJ Bill Gates, who set them up with a recording session.

the bee gees, gibb brothers, maurice, barry, robin gibb Stayin Alive GIF by Bee Gees Giphy

If you've ever wondered how the Bee Gees got their name, that was it: Bill Goode, Bill Gates, Barry Gibb, and the brothers' mother Barbara Gibb all had the initials B.G. After a strong reception on the airwaves in Brisbane, Gates forwarded the brothers' recordings to a Sydney radio station. They got a lot of airtime there as well, and the band had a run of success performing in Australia, but it wasn't until their return to England in 1967 that they became the international sensation we all know today.

Manager Robert Stigwood had received tapes from the Gibbs brothers and called them up within weeks of their arrival in the U.K.

“I loved their composing,” Stigwood told Rolling Stone in 1977. “I also loved their harmony singing. It was unique, the sound they made; I suppose it was a sound only brothers could make.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

And, as they say, the rest is history. The award-winning 2020 HBO documentary, "The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" tells the story of the band with loads of footage from throughout their 40-year career, which includes not only their disco-era fame, but the various phases of their musical journey and the countless songs they wrote for other artists.

As one commenter wrote, "People that call the Bee Gees a 'disco group' don't have a clue. They had 10 albums out before they ventured into 'disco.' Their song catalogue is amazing and some of their very best songs were written long before Saturday Night Fever. Those 'disco' songs are classics as well. It is nice to see they are finally getting the recognition they deserve."

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Joe grew up without stability. Now, he’s giving 10 adopted sons the home he never had.
True
Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

Like many children who are placed in foster care across the United States, Joe’s childhood was marked by chaos and a struggle to survive.

Joe still remembers neglect and abuse being part of his daily reality. Often left to care for his younger siblings alone, Joe grew up far too quickly.


He and his brothers were placed in the New York foster care system at an early age. And when he aged out of foster care at 21, he had no family to turn to for support.

“Statistically, I should be in jail, or I could be dead,” Joe said. “But that’s not my destiny.”

Today, Joe is determined to change the trajectory for young people lingering in foster care … as an adoptive parent and as an advocate, raising awareness along with organizations like the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

A complex problem with an evidence-based solution

More than 100,000 children in the U.S. foster care system are waiting for a safe, permanent home. But the sad reality is that thousands will “age out” of the system between 18 and 21, stepping into adulthood without support, guidance or a safety net.

The consequences of this can be devastating. Youth who leave foster care without the support of a forever family are much more likely to experience negative outcomes, including homelessness, unemployment, substance abuse and early, unplanned parenthood.


Through its signature program, Wendy’s Wonderful Kids®, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption is working to be a part of the solution across the U.S. and Canada. Through this program, the Foundation supports the hiring of adoption professionals — known as recruiters — who serve children most at risk of aging out of foster care, including older children, children with special needs and siblings.

Wendy’s Wonderful Kids recruiters use an evidence-based, child-focused model, identifying trusted adults in the child’s network who may be open to adoption — and research shows that it works. A five-year, national evaluation showed that children referred to the program are up to three times more likely to be adopted.

Changing the journey for a new generation

Xavier was 18 and at risk of aging out of foster care without family support when he met Joe.

“My biggest fear was that I was going to age out and not know how to be sufficient on my own,” Xavier said. But Joe adopted Xavier just weeks before he was set to age out of the system. In the years that followed, Joe adopted from foster care again. And again.

Today, Joe is a father to 10 sons, seven of whom were adopted with help from the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

“Meeting my boys has put them on a different path,” Joe said. “Wendy’s Wonderful Kids was a real support and guide to being able to do what I try to do: making sure they have the tools to survive.”

“For me, it’s been beautiful to see that [my brothers are] spreading out to go live their own lives,” Xavier said. “It’s something [Joe] has prepared us for. He gave us the mentality that we could do whatever we want.”

Writing a new ending

After aging out of foster care, Joe managed to defy the odds, graduating from college and becoming a school counselor. Still, despite his own success story, he knows that many children who spend time in foster care aren’t as fortunate.

Joe hopes providing a “home base” for his sons means a brighter future for them.

“Here, we have people you can call your family — your brothers, your father,” Joe said. “Everybody, no matter where they are, knows that they can come home.”

Learn more about the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and how you can help find forever families for more children lingering in foster care right now.

work, coworkers, laughing, computer, people having fun, coffee

Coworkers laughing around the computer.

On Upworthy, we do a lot of stories on people skills to help people feel comfortable in social situations and make new friends. Across all our articles, we’ve found that people tend to like those who are interested in them, not those who go out of their way to impress. We’ve found that those who make a great first impression listen more than they talk and ask a lot of questions. We’ve also found that the kids who had the most friends in high school all have one thing in common: they like a lot of people back.

When you boil it all down, it comes to one big idea: People with excellent communication skills and who are well-liked make others feel seen. Having great people skills means being able to focus on others rather than ourselves, giving them our undivided attention, and showing genuine interest. When likable people talk to others, they make them feel like the only person in the room.


Likable people make others feel seen

“Whether it's a colleague, client, barista, or neighbor, highly likable people consistently show genuine interest and curiosity in other people. They don't throw around big gestures or declarations—they do it through small, everyday habits that signal warmth, attentiveness, and respect,” Lorraine K. Lee, an award-winning keynote speaker and best-selling author of Unforgettable Presence: Get Seen, Gain Influence, and Catapult Your Career, tells CNBC Make It.

5 ways to make other people feel seen

work, coworkers, laughing, people having fun, coffee Coworkers laughing in the hallway. via Canva/Photos

1. Match their emotional tone

One of the hallmarks of emotional intelligence is the ability to match others' emotional tone, which shows you are connected to them. If they’re smiling, you should be smiling; if they are feeling down, you don’t necessarily have to share the same emotions, but you should reflect their energy. Laughter matters, too. If they have a big laugh, then you should have one, too. In fact, matching laughter is such a strong indicator of emotional intelligence that NASA uses it to choose its astronauts.

2. Remember the small stuff

If you’re talking to someone at a party who you haven’t seen in a while, bring up something from the last time you spoke to show them you recall your last conversation. “How did that job interview go? I know you were up for a promotion,” or “I know you were planning on going to Europe, did you visit France?” This is also great in a professional setting when you remember your coworkers' children's names or ask how their mother is doing after surgery.

date, first date, man and woman, drinks, great tonversation, communications tips A man and woman enjoying a conversation.via Canva/Photos

3. Be a receptive listener

People who make others feel seen practice active listening so the person they're talking to knows they have their full attention. Active listeners don’t wait for their time to jump in and say something; they often reflect what the person is saying to show they understand them and are making a connection. Reflective listening involves two important techniques: mirroring and paraphrasing. “Mirroring involves repeating key phrases back to the speaker (‘I'm really upset that I missed my bus this morning.’ ‘You missed your bus.’) Paraphrasing involves repeating a rephrased version of what they've said (‘I'm really upset I missed my bus this morning.’ ‘You were upset about being late.’),” the University of New South Wales writes.

4. See them beyond their role

“People want to be recognized as whole humans—not just 'coworker,’ ‘parent,’ or ‘barista.’ Use their name, ask about their life outside their label, and notice who they are beyond what they do,” Lee writes. This way of seeing things also opens us up to better conversations. You don’t have to talk to the accountant at work about finances or another parent at the soccer game about the school your kids attend. By opening up the conversation to something more personal, people will feel seen.

5. Give credit to others

Whenever you have a moment in the spotlight, whether it’s receiving praise for a great campaign you just ran at work, or talking to your family at Christmas about how wonderful dinner was, spread the love around. When discussing your achievements, give others some credit. “Thanks for loving the turkey, you know, Grace made the stuffing,” or “The Target campaign did really well, it was Will who thought of the tagline.” Giving credit builds trust in others and makes them want to work with you.

Mental Health

22-year-old's blunt thoughts on grief after losing her younger brother provide comfort

"I don't feel like I see a ton of young people talking about grief. It's isolating."

grief, loss, sibling loss, losing a loved ones, death

Grief isn't linear and it isn't neat and tidy.

Anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one knows that grief is weird. It's not linear. It's not simple or straightforward. It's doesn't fit neatly into a box or align with tidy definitions.

Grief is all the more complicated when you lose someone who, by the natural order of things, shouldn't have died. Some deaths are difficult but expected—we know at some point we will lose our grandparents, our parents, and others who are generations older than we are. But when a younger loved one dies, especially when we ourselves are young, there are loads of complex feelings to grapple with.


As 22-year-old TikToker Clara Rose Bell says, "I don't see a lot of young people talking about grief. It's isolating." Bell's younger brother died in June, and she shared some honest musings on her grief journey in a video that's since gone viral. So many people relate to her thoughts, and her articulation of some of the harder parts of grief to put into words is giving comfort.

Bell begins by saying that she feels like she's supposed to say she "lost" her brother, like she's not supposed to say "he died," but that's what happened.

"Grief is so confusing," Bell says. "I never thought I'd be walking through heavy grief like sibling grief at 22. It's so devastating, honestly. I know you're supposed to like package it up and give people a version of your grief that's like, 'Hard, but getting through it!' you know, 'Hard, but purpose!' Sometimes I don't feel like that. Sometimes I just to be like, 'No, actually, this freaking sucks. This is horrible.'"

But, she says, the first thing people learn about grief is to try to not make people uncomfortable with it. People don't want to be around people who are sad or depressed all the time—it's draining.

"I get that," Bell says. "But that's also kind of grief, though. I spend a lot of time sad. And I hate that that makes me a depressing person to other people."

She says it feels like you're not supposed to talk about grief that much, like you're just supposed to walk through it alone. And a lot of people won't say a word about your loved one's death, perhaps because they don't know what to say and they hope that you'll just process it and move on.

"I'm never going to move on," Bell says. "I will talk about it for the rest of my life. I will grieve it for the rest of my life…there will never be a day that comes when I don't grieve him and don't wish that he were here."

@notclarabell

missing you every second of everyday 💙 my beautiful little brother patrick. The world is cold without you. But I know we’ll see each other again 💙🪽 To know him was to love him, a soul like no other.

She shared that one interesting thing about grief is that it has made her fear death less—not seeking it out, but not being afraid of it, either.

"I'm not afraid of dying," she says. "Sometimes I am afraid of living. Sometimes I'm afraid of living in a world without him, celebrating holidays without him."

And then there's the fact that she's a mom of young children, so she's trying to create beautiful, magical holiday memories for them while at the same time struggling through the "crushingly hard" grief of the first Christmas without her little brother. She knows that every holiday will be "quietly sad."

"I don't feel like I see a ton of young people talking about grief," Bell says. "It's isolating, and it's really isolating to go through at a young age, so I'm going to talk about it."

Bell acknowledges that there are so many people who are grieving and most people wouldn't know.

"Sometimes when I'm at the grocery store and I'm in line, I almost think to myself, 'I wonder if anyone in this line is grieving,' because it feels like a whole other universe that you can't fully understand until you go through it. What it's like to live in devastating grief, to feel like you can't get up, and yet get up."

Bell shared that the "time heals all wounds" saying doesn't ring true at this point for her. "This is something that feels like it hurts more with time," she says. She takes it day by day, but there's a looming question of how it's going to feel, this missing her brother, years from now if it hurts this much after months.

She says that people's kind words have been "monumental" and "so impactful," even when it's from perfect strangers on the Internet. Seeing that people she doesn't even know, who have no obligation to care about her and her tragedy, will go out of their way to provide thoughtful words of comfort and kindness has her feeling hopeful for the world at large.

"One of my hard grief points is hopelessness for the world," Bell says. "So many bad things are happening. So many people are sad. It's just hard to feel hopeful sometimes. Like, is the world all bad? But it's the little things. How can the world be all bad when people exist that are caring with no obligation to?

Bell says she'll cycle through multiple emotions every hour. "I don't know if I believe so much in the steps of grief as much as it's like a circle of anger, denial, sadness, acceptance, kind of over and over. At least that's how it feels for me a lot of the time."

She also described the pressure she feels to "get over" her grief or to "handle" it, but she's realized that grief is proof of love, or "love with nowhere to go." Sometimes she just wants to be left alone in her sadness, to feel it all because, as she says, "Missing him is the closest I have to having him right now."

Bell does say that getting up to face the day has gotten a little bit easier than it was in the beginning, but some days and moments still feel impossible. "Mostly, I just miss him," she says.

@notclarabell

For me, grief changed the way I live. As hard as it is sometimes, I try to give life my all — to slow down and appreciate things and people in a deeper way. I’m hyper aware of the experiences and opportunities he’ll never get to have, and that hurts more than words can say. Every sunset, every beautiful day, I think of him first — how he would’ve loved it, and how he doesn’t get that chance. Because of that, I live for him. I try to notice every small moment, every person, every gift in my life. To live in the present and remember that our time here is fragile. And to keep finding purpose and meaning, while I have the opportunity to. 🖤

So many people commented with appreciation for Bell putting words to feelings they themselves have gone through in their own grief journeys, especially those who have experienced sibling loss:

"Let me tell you, I’m going on 3 years in December without my little brother. And I cried while watching your video. You never get over it. I miss him so much. I hate that we are able to relate but like you said at least we aren’t going through it alone. Sending love!"

"I lost my brother over 10 years ago who was my best friend💔 & everything you said is true. It never goes away & you just learn to cope better. I miss him everyday. Sometimes I talk about him without crying & other times I barely can get the words out without nearly sobbing. The milestones and holidays are always hard. Sending big hugs and love. 🤍🤍"

"I lost my brother 3 years ago, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s scary and weird and it won’t feel real for a while, the first set of holidays are the hardest and it never really feels right again, but please don’t lose the will to celebrate holidays, birthdays, milestones, etc."

"I lost my sister when she was 18 and I was 20. 10 years later and I’m still not over it. It was right before the holidays too. I remember my mom calling us saying she was at the store and she forgot what she buys for thanksgiving dinner. My brothers and I laughed but looking back I think it was a huge moment of grief for her and I still think about that so much."

"Sibling loss is one of the worst and hardest thing i’ve ever had to go through, it’s confusing and so so unfair. everything you said is so completely valid."

When we share our experiences and put them into words, it helps others find expression for their own feelings. That's extra important for grief, which is particularly complicated. It's also important to know that we're never alone in our grief—sometimes we just need a reminder.

You can follow Clara Rose Bell on TikTok.