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Dad takes 7-week paternity leave after his second child is born and is stunned by the results

"These past seven weeks really opened up my eyes on how the household has actually ran, and 110% of that is because of my wife."

@ustheremingtons/TikTok

There's a lot to be gleaned from this.

Participating in paternity leave offers fathers so much more than an opportunity to bond with their new kids. It also allows them to help around the house and take on domestic responsibilities that many new mothers have to face alone…while also tending to a newborn. All in all, it enables couples to handle the daunting new chapter as a team, making it less stressful on both parties. Or at least equally stressful on both parties. Democracy!

TikTok creator and dad Caleb Remington, from the popular account @ustheremingtons, confesses that for baby number one, he wasn’t able to take a β€œsingle day of paternity leave.” This time around, for baby number two, Remington had the privilege of taking seven weeks off (to be clearβ€”his employer offered four weeks, and he used an additional three weeks of PTO).

The time off changed Remington’s entire outlook on parenting, and his insights are something all parents could probably use.

β€œIt's unfortunately the end of my maternity β€”ahemβ€” paternity leave,” Remington quips at the beginning of his video, via voiceover. β€œI only joke because my wife is truly the man of the house. And call me what you want, but I am totally okay with that.”

He then shares that after getting to spend quality time with his family to create precious memoriesβ€”losing track of time to β€œwatch ants cross the sidewalk,” for instanceβ€”he feels β€œguilty” about not doing so with their firstborn.

β€œ[It] made me realize how many of those small moments I missed out the first time, but I'm looking past that guilt and grateful that I had some time to make it up,” he says.

You’ll notice that during this entire video, Remington is also doing chores. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, washing dishes, wiping the countertops…you get the picture.

@ustheremingtons I (caleb) am getting ready to go back into work and i am not ready. Grateful for my four weeks plus 3 weeks of PTO, but i feel like we were just getting into a groove and i was finally getting to have some 1 on 1 time with my son. Picking up the house today because we all function better with a clean space and we haven’t had time to do much of it while surviving these past 7 weeks. I do work from home and find that I have a little more flexibility in helping out here and there but i am also pretty glued and have to be zoned in during work hours. I do however have some pretty awesome and understanding coworkers and company!Shout out to @SAMBAZON AΓ§aΓ­ πŸ‘Š Tiff is an all star: working and stay at home mom. I am dedicated in doing better to help balance more of the domestic responsibilities. #paternityleaveΒ #dadtokΒ #dadsover30Β #dadlifeΒ #fypΒ #foryoupageΒ #ditlΒ #ditlvlogΒ #maternityleaveΒ #newbornlifeΒ #newbornbabyΒ #secondbabyΒ #2under2Β #toddlerlife ♬ original sound - Tiffany + Caleb

Why is he doing this? His wife, aka β€œthe lady with the milk bags,” has been so stressed with the house being messy that Remington decided to focus on doing all the housecleaning so that she could spend time with the kids.

Doing a fair share of the domestic labor is something Remington admits to failing at their first time around. Spending seven weeks taking on more responsibilities, however, opened his eyes to the fact that what he previously saw as doing his β€œfair share” was actually doing β€œthe bare minimum.”

β€œIt has taken multiple conversations β€” and many ongoing ones β€” to truly master how to take on more of the mental load of raising children, growing our marriage and taking care of our investments like our home.”

Proof that having difficult conversations can lead to better understanding!

Lastly, Remington reflects on how the emotional turbulence of being new parents challenged his relationship, even though he and his wife were good communicators and aware of how much effort would be required.

β€œI honestly hated how much we fought, how much I felt misunderstood, and how much I misunderstood her…so now as second-time parents, I feel like we're a little bit more prepared. Prepared in how we talk to each other, prepared in how I balance work, life, and personal life, and prepared to just let things go,” he says.

Definitely valuable insights for anyone navigating baby number one. Or number five, for that matter.

Remington’s story stands as a great example of just how beneficial paternity leave can be. It offers priceless bonding time, an equal balance of responsibilities, and more time for much needed reflection as parents begin a pivotal new chapter in their lives.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

MART Productions|Canva

Wife shares brilliant reason her dad should see husband's colonoscopy

Becoming a couple means you're taking on another family, especially if you're married or in a long-term relationship. An additional family means you're learning people's personalities and quirks as they learn yours. There are plenty of people that luck out and get in-laws that are the epitome of kindness, love and boundaries

Then there are those that get the in-laws that live up to every stereotype there is about in-laws. Trying to set a boundary with those in-laws feels a lot like trying to teach a goldfish to walk on a leash. But when your partner starts to wain on holding boundaries alongside you, it can make for some uncomfortable conversations.

One woman took to Reddit about her own overbearing mother-in-law and the proposition she gave her husband in an effort to reinforce his support for the boundary she set. The woman is pregnant with presumably her first child and her mother-in-law is insisting that she attend the the actual birth.


We're not talking about her being at the hospital in the waiting room with a bubble gum cigar and a cute stuffed animal. Her husband's mom wants to be in the delivery room when her new grandchild makes their way into the world. In other circumstances this may not be a big deal. There are plenty of women close with their mother-in-laws who would welcome the extra love in the room to welcome the new baby. But this mom-to-be describes her husband's mom as pushy, judgmental and overbearing, pointing out that she wasn't allowed in the delivery room when her own daughters gave birth for the same reasons.

According to the post, her husband was very supportive and has a history of standing up for her with his parents but has started to cave on this particular issue.

The frustrated wife reveals, "She has started crying to him that all she wants is to see a grandchild being born. All her friends have experienced it and she wants it. He is starting to crumble under her emotional blackmail."

"So I made it clear that the only way I would agree was if, before the birth, my husband made arrangements for my father to witness him getting a colonoscopy," she continues.

mother-in-law in delivery room; Reddit AITA; delivery room boundaries; new parents; motherhoodwoman in gray and white floral shirt sitting on bedPhoto by Jimmy Conover on Unsplash

Of course her husband was not interested in having an audience during his colonoscopy. But after explaining that her dad never got to see her brothers get pictures of the inside of their colons and felt left out, he admits that he understands her point.

"His mother is upset that I used such a stupid comparison. She says that it isn't the same thing at all. I offered to change it to me watching her get a Brazilian wax and she hasn't called in a week," the wife writes.

Commenters were especially supportive of this new mom's boundaries being upheld. One person shares, "Boundaries during childbirth are especially important. I watched my niece give birth to her first born, it was awesome. This second go round she only wanted her mama in there." They continue, "moms in labor have to be as comfortable and stress-free as possible while delivering, and that includes who is in the room and who isn't."

mother-in-law in delivery room; Reddit AITA; delivery room boundaries; new parents; motherhood

person wearing blue shirt putting baby on scale

Photo by Christian Bowen on Unsplash

"Giving birth is not a spectator sport. No means no," another person writes.

"Your comparison was perfect and and your feelings are reasonable. And frankly your husband doesn’t really get a say. This is your medical procedure and you can simply tell your medical team she is not welcome," someone says.

Another person followed up adding, "The husband has so little say in this matter that the hospital won't even let him in if Op doesn't want him to be there."

The overwhelming consensus is that boundaries being upheld during birth are extremely important and the woman just might be a genius with her requests. That's certainly one way to let people know you're serious about who is and isn't allowed in the delivery room. It's such a delicate and sometimes traumatic time, the focus should be on the needs of the person giving birth, not the in-laws. Here's hoping for a healthy baby and smooth delivery.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

People share the most practical ways to support new parents

There's a lot of preparation that goes into having a child well before they're even born. First there are the physical changes your body makes to clear up some space for a tiny human roughly the size of a watermelon. Then there's preparing the nursery, buying lots of extremely small clothes, diapers and an expected understanding that while sleep may be your friend, you won't be getting any of it for about a year.

Lots of people give plenty of advice to help you cope in the early days but after the baby arrives, the focus shifts to solely the baby. It's obviously not a deliberate shift. Babies are just more shiny and new that the parents. But not everyone forgets about the parents once baby makes their grand entrance–some go out of their way to make sure the parents feel supported.

Upworthy asked its audience, "what was the best non-baby related gift you received as a new parent," and the answers were a masterclass on how to care for new parents.


Usually when people think of new babies, they often stop short of thinking of the person that just gave birth. All of the gifts that come in are typically for the new infant, which is helpful but in the early days it can feel like you're invisible. This means that the small gestures to focus on the parent or parents can really make a big impact and it looks like the Upworthy audience is acutely aware of this fact. Here are some of the most meaningful and practical gifts:

1. Everyone has to eat, especially when you've just birthed a human

"My best friend came by a day or two after I’d given birth with fresh washed and precut fruits and veggies and this is the only thing I remember being given. I was so thirsty and depleted and that gesture was everything," Emmanuelle Hertel writes.

"My grandma brought me groceries. Right to my third floor apartment. She was way old and it was probably a big hassle for her but incredibly helpful and thoughtful. She knew it was hard to leave the house and that I was a single mom of a baby," Kristina Scott remembers.

"A basket of easy to grab finger foods, cheeses, sparkling cider. It was a godsend," Peggy Auerbacher says.

2. Cleaning is a gift of love

"A house keeping crew for a month from my sister-in-laws," Evelyn Strimel Durkin says.

"My mother had someone come in and deep clean my house right before I delivered. It stayed clean with little effort right through the first couple of weeks. And those last couple of weeks of pregnancy, I was definitely not able to clean the way that I would have liked to. It was a blessing. And a fabulous gift," Patrice Powers King writes.

"My mom came and cleaned my house top to bottom, let me shower, kept our crockpot full of healthy food, and helped me learn how to breastfeed. Best gift I’ve ever received," Casi Dixon Hitchens admits.

3. Giving parents a much needed break from their littles to do wild things like nap.

"When my sister in law came & took our two little ones & said β€œdo what you want but I’m taking your kids for a few hours β€œ These kids are now in their 50 β€˜s and I still think about that. Best gift ever," Esther Keber says.

"A friend picked up my kids and took them to her house for dinner and play when she delivered dinner for husband and me," Mara Capuano writes.

"After a C-section w my first, my Mom came to help. I needed groceries AND I just needed to get out. She said β€œ take your time, no rush, I’m here”. She knew, I just needed a minute to myself, even if it was just getting groceries. She’s long gone, but she saw ME," Sandy Corr reminisces.

Of course people were happily taking notes of the thoughtful gifts other's received so they could pass along the practical joy. Is there a gift you received that simply made your life a little easier with a newborn? Tell us about it but most importantly, remember these ideas when you find yourself curious what to gift your expecting friend or relative.

Joy

Strangers participated in a family's gender reveal party and their excitement is contagious

Only one cupcake out of dozens had the colored icing. The entire restaurant became invested.

Strangers help couple with their gender reveal.

Gender reveal parties have continued to be popular over the past decade or so, and people have gotten more and more creative with them in an effort to keep them fun for everyone involved. Marissa Bailey decided to take her party to a local restaurant and use cupcakes to reveal the gender, but the catch was there were dozens of cupcakes and only one had the colored frosting in the middle.

Thankfully for the internet, Bailey decided to film the event and upload it to TikTok, where it has amassed over 10 million views. In the video, the family members take turns biting into the cupcakes as curious patrons watch, slowly realizing what's going on. Soon the other restaurant guests become invested as cupcake after cupcake proves to be free of colored filling. (I don't know whose idea it was to bake so many cupcakes but, whew, they were going to be there a while.)

Eventually, someone decides handing them out to the now-interested patrons would speed along the process. Even the server gets in on the game and cuts open a cupcake to again reveal no colored filling. So more volunteers raise their hands to bite into cupcakes.


Now there's even more of a party because strangers are feeling invested and competitive, but alas there's still no color in the cupcakes. Soon the entire restaurant is collectively shouting out in disappointment as another cupcake reveals a whole lot of nothing. The mom-to-be is looking stressed at this point, but the show must go on.

Surely she's rethinking the idea of recreating a Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket situation. But just when defeat is hitting the pregnant woman, a shriek can be heard from a stranger in the restaurant, followed by, "IT'S A GIRL!!!" as she dances in place.

What a fun and intense gender reveal. Check it out below:

@rissa_bai

The energy was amazing!