upworthy
Family

A mom describes her tween son's brain. It's a must-read for all parents

"Sometimes I just feel really angry and I don’t know why."

A mom describes her tween son's brain. It's a must-read for all parents


It started with a simple, sincere question from a mother of an 11-year-old boy.

An anonymous mother posted a question to Quora, a website where people can ask questions and other people can answer them. This mother wrote:

How do I tell my wonderful 11 year old son, (in a way that won't tear him down), that the way he has started talking to me (disrespectfully) makes me not want to be around him (I've already told him the bad attitude is unacceptable)?

It's a familiar scenario for those of us who have raised kids into the teen years. Our sweet, snuggly little kids turn into moody middle schoolers seemingly overnight, and sometimes we're left reeling trying to figure out how to handle their sensitive-yet-insensitive selves.


Jo Eberhardt, a fantasy writer and mother of two from Australia, penned a reply that is so spot on that it keeps repeatedly popping up on social media. When you nail it, you nail it—and this mother nails it.

"Ah, puberty," she wrote, "It changes our sweet, wonderful little boys into sweet, eye-rolling, angsty, accidentally disrespectful, but still wonderful young proto-men." Yup.

Eberhardt then described a discussion she had with her 11 1/2 -year-old son when he started going through this stage—a conversation they had in the car, which is usually the best place to have potentially uncomfortable discussions with kids.

She told her son that she'd messed up in the way she'd talked to him about puberty, then explained exactly what was happening in his brain.

“I've spent all this time talking to you about the way puberty changes your body," Eberhardt told her son, "and what to expect as you go through the changes, but I completely forgot to talk to you about what's going on in your brain right now. Puberty is the time when your brain grows and changes more than at any other time in your life — well, except for when you're a baby, perhaps. So I really let you down by not preparing you for that. I'm so sorry."

Her son accepted her apology, then asked why is his brain was changing.

“That's the amazing thing," she told him. "Did you know that your brain grew and developed so quickly when you were little that by the time you were about five or six, your brain was almost as big and powerful as an adult's brain?"

"But here's the thing," she continued, "Even though your brain was super powerful, the instructions were for a child's brain. And all the information about building an adult's brain was a bit… let's say fuzzy. So your brain did the best it could, but it didn't really know what kind of person you were going to be back then, or what shape brain you were going to need."

“Now we come to puberty," she went on. "See, puberty is amazing. Not only is your body being transformed from a child's body to an adult's body, your brain has to be completely rewritten from a child's brain to an adult's brain."

“That sounds hard," her son responded.

“Yeah, it is," Eberhardt replied. “That's why I wish I'd warned you first. See, it takes a lot of energy to completely rewrite a brain. That's one of the reasons you get tired quicker at the moment — and that, of course, manifests in you being crankier and less patient than normal."

Eberhardt paused, then added, “That must be really frustrating for you."

Her son looked over at her, wiping his eyes. “It is," he responded. Sometimes I just feel really angry and I don't know why."

It's amazing what happens when we explain to kids the physiological reasons for what they're going through.

Eberhardt continued, “The other thing is that one of the first parts of your brain that gets super-sized to be like an adult is the amygdala. That's the part that controls your emotions and your survival instincts. You know how we've talked about fight/flight/freeze before, and how sometimes our brains think that being asked to speak in public is the same level of threat as being attacked by a sabre tooth tiger?"

Her son laughed. “Yes. So you have to tell your brain that there's no sabre tooth tiger to help you calm down."

“That's right," Eberhardt replied. "Well, that's what the amygdala looks after: sabre tooth tiger warnings and big emotions. So, the thing with puberty is that all of a sudden you've got an adult-sized amygdala hitting all your emotion buttons and your sabre-tooth tiger buttons. That must be really hard for you to manage."

Her son nodded and said, “Sometimes I don't know why I say the things I do. They just come out, and then I feel bad."

This is the moment where what a parent says can make or break a kid's spirit. But Eberhardt handled it with empathy and expertise.

“I know, Sweetheart," she said before explaining:

“See, the last part of your brain that gets rewritten is right at the front of your head. It's called the frontal cortex. And that's the part of your brain that's good at decision making and understanding consequences. So you've got this powerful adult amygdala hitting you with massive emotions, but you've still got a fuzzy child frontal cortex that can't make decisions or understand consequences as quickly as the amygdala wants you to. It pretty much sucks."

“So it's not my fault?" her son asked.

“No, it's puberty's fault your brain works the way it does," Eberhardt answered. "But that doesn't mean it's not your responsibility to recognise what's going on and change your actions. It's not easy, but it's not impossible, either. Your feelings are your feelings, and they're always okay. But you get to choose your actions. You get to choose what you do with your feelings. And, when you make a mistake, you get to choose to apologise for that mistake and make amends."

Eberhardt said she then paused for dramatic effect. “That's how you prove that you're becoming an adult."

It's also remarkable what happens when we empathize and communicate with our kids instead of simply chastising them.

Her son responded with a perfectly understandable and relatable, “Puberty sucks."

“Puberty absolutely sucks," Eberhardt responded. “I'm not in your head, but I can only imagine that it's a mess of confusion and chaos, and you don't know from one minute to the next how you feel about things."

Her son looked at her in surprise. “Yes! Exactly!"

“If it's confusing for you living inside there," Eberhardt continued, "imagine how confusing it is for me, when I only see your actions."

“That must be really confusing," her son agreed.

She nodded. “Do you know what that means?"

“What?"

“It means sometimes I'm going to make mistakes. Sometimes I'm going to get upset at things you do because I don't understand what's going on in your head. Sometimes I'm going to forget that you're halfway to being a man, and accidentally treat you like a child. Sometimes I'm going to expect more from you than you're able to give. This is my first time parenting someone through puberty, and I'm going to make mistakes. So can I ask you a favour?"

“What is it?"

“Can you just keep telling me what's going on in your head? The more we talk, the easier it will be for both of us to get through this puberty thing unscathed. Yeah?"

“Yeah," her son said.

When we let our kids know that we're going through these various phases together, it's easier to work with them instead of against them.

Eberhardt said they "had a cuddle" before they got out of the car. She also said this conversation didn't magically make her son always speak respectfully or make her remember that he's not a little boy anymore. However, it did open up lines of communication and gave them a shared language to use.

For example, she wrote, "He knows what I mean when I say, 'Sweetheart, I'm not a sabre tooth tiger.'"

Ebehardt wrapped up her excellent answer by saying that she and her son are "muddling through this crazy puberty thing" together, and that she's "completely confident that he'll come out the other end a sweet, wonderful young man."

It's always so helpful to see examples of good parenting in action. Ms. Eberhardt's response is something all parents can tuck away for the appropriate time. It's also a great reminder that our tweens aren't trying to try us—they're just trying to get used to their new and improved brains.


This story originally appeared on 1.05.19



From Your Site Articles
mental health
Badge
Pura
Pura Fragrances
Justice

Walking Alongside Martu: A journey with one of the world’s oldest living cultures

Pura’s inaugural impact collection honors both sacred traditions and sustainable futures.

James Roh
True

In a world driven by speed, efficiency, and immediate results, it’s easy to forget that lasting change is built on trust. Real impact doesn’t come from rushing toward an end goal or measuring success through lofty metrics. It comes from falling in love with the problem, building a community around it, and sharing a vision for lasting transformation.

Pura, the smart home fragrance company that marries premium fragrance with innovative technology, recently launched its inaugural impact collection with K Farmer Dutjahn Foundation (KFDF) and Dutjahn Sandalwood Oils (DSO). The Pura x Dutjahn partnership began with a clear purpose: to source a sacred ingredient directly from its origin while honoring the land and the people who’ve cared for it. Our goal wasn’t simply to find sandalwood — it was to find a community and an ingredient that embody exceptional land stewardship, ethical harvesting, and transformative, community-led impact. After careful research and over three years of development, we saw an opportunity to secure a premium, luxurious ingredient while supporting a regenerative supply chain that invests in Indigenous-led education, economic opportunity, and land stewardship.

James Roh

Over the past several years, we’ve walked alongside Martu, an Indigenous tribe from the vast Western Australian desert. Martu are one of the oldest living cultures in the world, with a history spanning 60,000 years. As nomadic hunter-gatherers, they have unparalleled ecological knowledge, passed down through generations, making them the traditional custodians of the land. Their approach to sandalwood harvesting isn’t driven by market demand but by a deep respect for seasonal rhythms, land health, and cultural law. Their work adapts to the environment—whether it’s “sorry time,” when mourning pauses activities, or the harsh desert conditions that make travel and communication difficult. Martu operate on Martu time, a deliberate rhythm shaped by millennia of experience, far removed from the rapid-swipe, hyper-productive pace of Western systems.

Martu’s ecological knowledge isn’t documented in baseline reports. It’s lived, carried in stories, and practiced with rigor and respect for the changing needs of the ecosystems. True partnership means unlearning the typical approach. It means standing beside—not in front—and recognizing that the wisdom and leadership we need already exist within these communities. Our role isn’t to define the work, but to support it, protect it, and learn from it.

James Roh

Tonight, as I spoke with Chairman Clinton Farmer and the KFDF team about our focus for this piece, I learned that Clinton’s truck had broken down (again), leaving him to “limp” back to town from the desert at low speeds for hours and hours. He had been awake since 3:00 a.m. This is a common and costly setback, one that disrupts the harvest, demands days of driving, and brings real financial and emotional strain. These barriers are relentless and persistent, part of the harsh reality Clinton and his community face daily. It's easy for outsiders, detached from the reality on the ground, to impose rules, regulations, and demands from afar. Rather than continuing to impose, we need to truly partner with communities — equipping them with the resources to operate sustainably, avoid burnout, and protect the very land they love and care for. All while they endeavor to share these incredible, sacred ingredients with the world and build an economic engine for their people.

There is much to learn, but we are here to listen, adapt, and stay the course. The future we need will not be built in quarterly cycles. It will be built in trust, over time, together.

To learn more about the partnership and fragrances, visit Pura x Dutjahn.

Related Articles Around the Web
indigenous people
Family

Mom gives a tour of her typical 'middle-class home' and it's exactly what people needed

"There is just so much pressure on social media to be perfect."

@steph_murphy/TikTok

Stephanie Murphy shares her "average" home in viral TikTok video.

Sure, it’s lovely to see pristine, perfectly curated homes that look like they belong in Architectural Digest. A little inspo never hurt anyone. But as we all know, the spotless life is simply not an achievable reality, especially for those with busy lives and limited budgets (read: most of us).

But you know what? Maybe even the messy homes deserve some love. The ones with constant junk piles, unfinished projects, dirty dishes, and misplaced toys. The homes that will never grace the cover of a magazine but still do a wonderful job of containing all the moments life has to offer—the big, small, extraordinary, mundane, and everywhere in between. 'Cause at the end of the day, isn’t that a home’s true purpose anyway?


@stephsharesitall

Lets normalize “average” because there is nothing wrong with it. Everywhere you look on social media you see big gorgeous houses in perfect condition and its hard not to compare yours to them. But its not the norm and half the time its staged. Our house is lived in, and its filled with love and tons of memories and at the end of the day thats all that matters.

Stephanie Murphy, a mom and TikTok creator, seems to think so. Murphy recently took viewers on an “average house tour,” and it was the exact opposite of aspirational. Highlighted in Murphy’s tour are the pantry door that’s remained unpainted for three years, blinds held together with binder clips, air conditioners held in place by duct tape, a full dish rack tray that’s “a permanent fixture” on their countertops, and not one but two junk drawers (honestly, that’s a little low by my count). You’ll also notice a fridge that is covered in her kid’s artwork and school pictures. Not in any cohesive way, but merely thrown on randomly, as nature intended.

Meanwhile, in the master bedroom, Murphy and her husband’s bed have two separate blankets because neither of them like to share. A genius idea, and just another example of how we really, really don’t need to continue with marital sleeping norms that don’t actually feel comfortable.

As for why Murphy decided to showcase her “average, middle-class house,” it’s all in the caption of her video: “Let’s normalize ‘average’ because there is nothing wrong with it. Everywhere you look on social media, you see big gorgeous houses in perfect condition and it’s hard not to compare yours to them. But it’s not the norm and half the time it's staged. Our house is lived in, and it’s filled with love and tons of memories and at the end of the day that's all that matters."

She further explained her reasoning to Good Morning America. "I feel like social media is full of one perfectly curated video after another, and there is just so much pressure from social media to be perfect in all aspects -- to have perfect skin, perfect makeup, perfect outfit, perfect house. And the reality is no one's perfect," Murphy said.

"Honestly, I feel like there's a very good chance that all those videos that we see were staged and they probably like, moved a pile of toys behind the camera to film and then moved it back when they were done. But that's the part that people on social media just aren't sharing. They don't show you the behind-the-scenes and that is what I was looking to change," she continued.


Judging from the comments sections of this now-viral post, it seems like other people are ready for more average content.

“This is awesome! I’m constantly feeling inadequate when people have a perfect house that looks like nobody lives there!” one person wrote. “I feel seen,” added another.

Hear, hear. No need to feel inadequate about having a home that’s lived in. Imperfection has its own kind of beauty.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
homes
Parenting

George Lucas finally explains why Yoda talks so weird and it just might help parents

Parents may want to take notes.

Photo by Kevin Payravi via Wikimedia and Takashi Toyooka via Flickr

The way Yoda talks could be an excellent tool for parents.

Parenting is certainly an interesting gig at times, but most parents likely never thought Yoda would be modeling child-rearing behavior. The little green guy that speaks in what sometimes feels like riddles was written like that purposely according to George Lucas—and it's something parents might want to take note of. Lucas, the man behind the Star Wars franchise was recently interviewed at the TCM Classic Film Festival's screening of The Empire Strikes Back for the film's 45th anniversary.

Longtime TCM host Ben Mankiewicz was the moderator of the event and finally got to ask a question that has been on people's minds for years: Why on earth did that little green Jedi master talk backwards?

Star Wars, Muppets, Frank Oz, social issues, gender rolesYoda is/was strong with the "Force." Photo by Riku Lu on Unsplash

The short story is, because Lucas wanted him to. The longer version (that fans actually wanted to know) is that Yoda's way of speaking is almost a Jedi move in itself. His speech is a psychological trick that can benefit parents who have children who struggle with listening—especially preteens.

Lucas explained, "Because if you speak regular English, people won’t listen that much. But if he had an accent, or it’s really hard to understand what he’s saying, they focus on what he’s saying. He was basically the philosopher of the movie." He continued, “I had to figure out a way to get people to actually listen—especially 12-year-olds.”

This is a tactic that some parents have used whether knowingly or not—and there's science behind it. For example, parents change their speech to a whisper when reprimanding their children in public settings to get their attention and correct unwanted behavior. Turns out this technique may also be beneficial inside the home as well.

According to The Wichita Eaglein 2008, "Wichita State audiology professor Ray Hull would say the children heard something unusual and irresistible: an adult they can understand. Because the trick to get children to listen to really hear and comprehend, whether they're toddlers or high school students isn't speaking up, Hull says. It's slowing down. According to Hull, the average adult speaks at a rate of almost 170 words per minute. But the average 5- to 7- year-old processes speech at a rate of only 120 words per minute. The gap between what a child hears and what he or she understands can appear to parents and teachers as inattention, confusion or outright defiance."

gif, star wars, speech, talking, language, childrenthe empire strikes back GIF by Star WarsGiphy

In 2013, the International Journal of Speech-Language Pathology researched the affects of rate of speech on comprehension abilities of typically developing school-aged children in Sweden. While the sample size was small, just 102 children, researchers were able to show that when children were spoken to in normal, slow, and fast rates of speech, the children were much more likely to comprehend the information given at the slow rate of speech.

Slowing things down is exactly what Mister Rogers did. According to Hull, the late children's show host spoke at a rate of 124 words per minute, which seemed to be the key in captivating his young audience. But speaking slowly isn't always enough. Parenting experts explain that parents should get down on the child's level and make eye contact before speaking. For older kids, gaining their attention by calling their name, moving closer to them, or placing a hand on their shoulder before speaking slowly will aid in getting them to hear the words coming out of your mouth. These techniques also work for children that have auditory processing disorder according to Nemours Kids Health.

yoda, grogu, star wars, speech, talk, slow speechSipping Tea Time GIFGiphy

Of course, Yoda isn't parenting real human children, but the way he speaks captures the attention of audience members young and old. But if you don't want to slow down and speak backwards, speaking at a lower volume may also do the trick.

"If someone starts speaking really loud or yelling at you, your immediate response is usually fight or flight. You just want to get away from them. Our children are no different. So when we get louder, they listen less. On the other hand, the more softly a person speaks, the more closely everybody else listens to them. We want to hear what we might be missing out on! And unless your child has a genuine physical ailment that affects their ability to hear, they will respond in the same way," parenting expert and author Dr Justin Coulson writes for Happy Families Australia.

Lucas likely didn't set out to give some solid parenting advice when explaining why he made Yoda speak in such a strange manner, but surely there's a parent out there who just may want to give this method a try.

From Your Site Articles
parenting advice
Joy

Gen Zer tries to dub Gen X 'the worst generation.' Then a millennial steps in.

Her tongue-in-cheek warning reminds us all why you don't mess with the latchkey kids.

Photo credit: Canva

Gen X (left) Gen Z (Right)

There's something to be said about the now well documented sibling dynamic between Millennials and Gen Z. But before that bond existed, many Millennials grew up with Gen X siblings, learning early on not to disturb the sleeping bear.

Unfortunately, some folks in the younger generation, i.e Gen Z, didn't get this memo. One brave...or naive Gen Zer decided to declare that Gen X is "the worst generation" seemingly unprompted.

Young Padawan, Gen X minds their business grumbling through life unless someone summons them. We don't summon them.

gen x, millennials, gen z, gen z vs gen x, gen z vs millennials, millennials vs gen x, generational humorYoda is not happy about this. media2.giphy.com

In a stitched video, millennial Laura High gave a succinct cliff's notes version of why it's best to not speak negative thoughts on Gen X aloud.

"I love Gen X. We all love Gen X...we all love Gen X," she said before bringing the camera close enough to whisper.

"Ok here's the thing, you do not seem to understand who Gen X is, okay? Gen X is Boomers if they knew how to turn a document into a PDF, okay. They do not Karen out. They get quiet and they get revenge," she warned.

The millennial then shared the secret kept by her generation: "we do not summon the latchkey kids unless it's our literal only last resort." She advised the unknowing Gen Zer to go to the edge of the woods to leave offerings to appease any Gen Xers that would likely be offended by the video. Commenters agreed with her sentiment.

@laurahigh5 Do you also like pissing off beelzebub for funzies? #genx #millennial #genz #generations #lol #joke #80s #vhs #movie #foryou #foryoupage #fyp #fypシ゚viral #fypage ♬ Wes Anderson-esque Cute Acoustic - Kenji Ueda

"There is a reason millennials leave Gen X alone, and they learned it the hard way. My fellow Gen Z’s will learn soon… very soon," one commenter said..

"Elder Gen Z raised by two Gen X parents. I do NOT back the younger half of Gen Z on this. I’m running into the woods on their behalf and leaving Ferris Bueller for my dad and a DQ blizzard for my mom," another echoed.

"Last thing she will hear from the woods, Red Rover Red Rover, we call Karen Hashtag over," said a third.

If you've never played Red Rover with Gen Xers, just know you were lucky to have your head still attached to your shoulders after the game was over. There were no tears allowed and no telling your parents, they were gone anyway. In shot: Gne Xers are ruthless, and it's best not to cross them. Seriously.

Thankfully, Gen Xers are also open to peace offerings. Here are a few of their suggestions:

"I will accept ding dongs (in original foil) and a VHS of “the last star fighter” I will also except a mix tape if it include at mix of metal, new wave, and Yaz,"

"We will also accept any of the original Star Wars trilogy, Star Trek 2, Raiders, or Die Hard…though John Hughes films will likely will be the safest choice."

Moral of the story: tread lightly Gen Z. Tread very lightly. If you hear someone clinking together empty glass Coke bottles outside your door, do not come out and play. It's a trap.

gen x, millennials, gen z, gen z vs gen x, gen z vs millennials, millennials vs gen x, generational humorIf looks could kill…media3.giphy.com

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
community
Modern Families

Best friends get divorced at the same time and move in together to co-parent their 6 kids

"Two single moms who realized we didn't have to do it alone."

shannonnjune/TikTok

Best friends coparent their children together after going through divorces at same time.

Becoming a single parent after divorce can be an overwhelming challenge. For best friends Shannon Foote (@shannonnjune) and Cheyanne Marie (@_cheyanne_marie_), who both went through divorces at the same time in 2024, they leaned on each other to get through.

Together, they decided to move into a home to co-parent their collective six kids together (Foote has four children, and Cheyanne Marie has two).

"Pro tip: get a divorce at the same time as your best friend and become 2 moms raising 6 kids," she captioned the post. "Two moms is better."

@shannonnjune

Two moms is better #bestfriend #singlemom

In the video, the two share clips from an average day in their life and all that it entails to take care of (and keep up with) their six kids. They do everything as a team, from folding mounds of laundry together to cleaning and supervising their kids as they play.

In another video, Foote and Cheyanne Marie conquer more household chores. In the kitchen, they bag up trash, empty the dishwasher, and clean the countertops and stove. Plus, they get in some more laundry folding and watching their kids play together in their backyard.

@shannonnjune

Life is easier with a village!!! #coparenting #bestfriend #momsoftiktok #singlemom #momof4 And because I know the comments coming lol, we both very much like men but two women splitting house and kid chores has proven easier than with men 😅

"Life is easier with a village!!!" they captioned the post. They also added, "And because I know the comments coming lol, we both very much like men but two women splitting house and kid chores has proven easier than with men 😅."

The friends also shared how they divide and conquer when it comes to putting their kids to bed. "We really live the fullest life ❤️🥰🫶," Foote captioned the post. After a fun night of dying Easter eggs as a family, they get to it. Cheyanne Marie takes over laundry folding duties, while Foote cleans the kitchen and living room.

@shannonnjune

We really live the fullest life ❤️🥰🫶 #singlemom #mom #singlemomof4 #momof4 #singlemoms #coparenting #village


Both moms also have jobs. Foote is an electrical contractor, and Cheyanne Marie is a painting contractor.

Foote and Cheyanne Marie have shared more about what went into their decision to move in together to co-parent. "Last year after our divorces, we reached out to each other just to have a good friend while navigating single motherhood," Foote wrote. "Slowly we started spending every night together, our kids started calling us auntie, and life felt normal."

TikTok · shannonnjune

TikTok · shannonnjunewww.tiktok.com

Their videos have gotten lots of support from moms and women going through divorces in co-parenting situations. One wrote, "This is THE FUTURE." Another added, "Being surrounded by their best friends having slumber parties every night probably makes it a little easier for the kids too! I love this you both are doing great! 💝"

Other women shared their experience growing up in similar households or trying this parenting method themselves. "My mom & 2 of her girlfriends did this when I was little & they all got divorced at the same time. it was 3 of them & 8 of us kids.... best childhood memories I have!" one wrote. Another added, "Me and my bestie did this, both left our abusive bds 2 years ago, got a apartment together with our babies and watched them while each other worked. Best thing we ever did."

From Your Site Articles
coparent
Science

Ancient Hawaiian land system could transform sustainability's future—and it’s going viral

Welcome to the world of Ahupua’a.

Photo credit: Canva

Ancient Hawaiians were agricultural masters.

Switch to electric, use less water, recycle everything: in a time when fighting climate change seems insurmountable, an incredible solution is re-emerging from the ancient past—and it’s making major waves on TikTok. The ahupuaʻa system, Hawai’i’s approach to land management before the once-sovereign nation was colonized, is shocking the world as people discover its incredible potential to revolutionize sustainability—and potentially solve our modern climate crisis.


@ben_jamin_witu You cannot convince me we are more technologically advanced when ancient societies used nature as their technology and balanced themselves for thousands of years. VC: Hyperspective on IG. #landback #foodsoverignty #indigenous #wisdom #tiktok #fyp ♬ Lights Are On - Instrumental - Edith Whiskers

Meet Benjamin Kaimipono (@ben_jamin_witu), a Native Hawaiian (Kanaka ‘Ōiwi) TikTok creator whose videos—some original, some reposts—about Native Hawaiian life, practices, and history are creating a vitally important tapestry of a culture erased. One of the videos, a repost from @hyperspective on Instagram, (a boutique creative agency in Honolulu) depicts a simulated version of the Hawaiian ahupua’a system with the caption: “You cannot convince me we are more technologically advanced when ancient societies used nature as their technology and balanced themselves for thousands of years.”

The responses are filled with pride, respect, and wonder. One commenter wrote, “This is why land back is crucial today with global warming at an all-time high! Indigenous peoples are in tune with the land and know better than anyone else how to take care of it ✊🏽.” Others appreciated Kaimipono's sharing of Native Hawaiian knowledge, with one person writing: “This... is the proper use of the 'āina. live and learn and always Aloha 'Āina. Proud to be Hawaiian. Ha'aheo au. 😎🤙🏾” (According to Lāna'i Culture & Heritage Center, “'āina” is generally translated as “land” but directly means “that which feeds”; “Ha'aheo au” means “I am proud.”)

Another wrote:

“Hawaiians understood what it meant to live righteously off the land, and we're centuries ahead of their time with resource management. There's connection to the land is a key value. That's why native cultures always knew how to be sustainable with the resources they had, and didn't overuse or destroy it.”

Hawai'i, Native Hawaiians, land, sustainability, climate changeEach ahupua'a land parcel Photo credit: Canva


Why this ancient system works

The ahupua’a system, which thrived in Hawai’i for nearly a millennium between 1000 CE to 1848, wasn’t just smart—it was mathematic, geologic, and climatic genius. Picture this: 725 perfectly organized sections across eight islands. Each land parcel averages 5,678 and works in perfect harmony with nature. It was symbiosis at its finest: each ahupua’a operated like a self-contained utopia, combining forests, crops, and fishing zones, demonstrating a master class in resource management. This way, Hawaiians were able harness the power of the ecosystems around them while both supporting the 800,000 people living on the islands (and growing) and maintaining the land’s integrity.

In their seminal paper, “The Ahupua’a as a Traditional Hawaiian Resource Management Model for a Sustainable Coastal Environment,” researchers David W. Blane and Christopher Chung describe the ahupua’a as “a practical and rational approach to resources management that conforms with the existing geography and its resources rather than altering them for human convenience,” adding:

“…as you may already have surmised, the ahupua‘a means much more. The ahupua‘a embodies a unique relationship between the Hawaiian people and the land as well as the practical and rational approaches applied to insure the sustainability of the natural environment from overexploitation, pollution, and extinction.”


HHawai'i, Native Hawaiians, land, sustainability, climate changeawaiian landAn ahupua'a map.Wikipedia

Land management magic

This could get very scientific very fast, but here’s the simple version: ahupua’a were wedge-shaped land units that spanned from the mountains (mauka) down through the cultivated lowlands (mala) to the sea (makai). This way, each unit, each slice, had everything they needed to survive: forests to harvest wood from and collect bird feathers; irrigated agricultural terraces (lo’i) where they mostly grew taro, and dryland farms used to cultivate sweet potato (’uala), coconuts (niu), breadfruit (’ulu), and bananas (mai’a), just to name a few. Each ahupua’a also contained a coastal and marine area, where Hawaiians could fish and produce salt.

The leadership structure was also pure brilliance: each ahupua’a had its own chief (ali’i), overseer (konohiki), and priests (kahuna) who worked together, overseeing the administration of their land and ensuring that resources were used efficiently and sustainably. But perfection on this scale takes more than just good delegation; the ahupua’a leadership also incorporated important Native Hawaiian values like respect (aloha), cooperation (laulima), and stewardship (mālama) to ensure that everything remained balanced (pono). According to the North Shore Sustainable Communities Plan, here’s what made it all work:

  • When resources ran low, they immediately stopped harvesting to preserve resources.
  • They closed certain fishing areas seasonally so fish populations could bounce back.
  • Inter-ahupua’a trade was commonplace, so residents felt connected, and the system kept strong.

fruit, land, sustainability, Hawai'i, ahupua'aAhupua'a was a brilliant, sustainable practice.Thorsten

"The Hawaiians believed that the land, the sea, the clouds and all of nature had a certain interconnectedness, which is why they used all of the resources around them to reach the desired balance in life." - Nation of Hawaii

As we watch our food systems fall apart, coastlines disappear, and farmlands struggle, remember: it doesn’t have to be this way. Modern urban planners could take a page out of the ancient Native Hawaiian’s book, as they construct our future cities, structures, and systems. No one is asking for a 180 total rehaul or a return to 1848. But there are small things we can do. In Hawai’i, they’ve already brought a few of these principles back to life. They’re restoring traditional fishponds, reconnecting forests with their corresponding coastal areas, and empowering local communities to steward their own resources. This is a real, sustainable way forward. Or, as the BBC said: “The ahupuaʻa system of land development, in practice for more than 1,000 years, has the potential to show the world a new path to sustainability." Are you ready to be a part of that change?

From Your Site Articles
sustainability
Trending Stories