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Mom shares 'kind can' idea after 7-year-old expresses struggles with friends at school

She described the "kind can" as "a way to keep our hearts open even when they want to close.”

Mom shares 'kind can' idea after 7-year-old expresses struggles with friends at school

The "kind can" is a tool for helping kids connect with others.

At some point, most parents have to field questions, concerns, worries, anxieties, angst and sometimes downright despair from our kids over their relationships with other kids. Friendships can be messy. Bullying is a thing. When you pool together a couple dozen kids who are growing and changing and figuring out their emotions for most of the day, all manner of relational dynamics can occur.

Navigating the social landscape with our kids isn't easy. Each child is unique, some are more sensitive or aware of what's happening than others, and some need assistance with figuring out how to handle tough social situations. As parents, we don't want to swoop in and solve their problems, but we also don't want to leave them rudderless in a storm. We want to provide them with the tools and help them build the skills they'll need to steer their own ship.

One tool that can help a kid who is struggling to connect with their peers is intentional kindness. However, a blanket admonition to "be kind" is often too vague to help a kid in the midst of a social crisis. That's why one parent's "kind can" idea has gone viral—it offers a specific way to practice kindness in a way that's not overwhelming.

A 2022 post on LinkedIn and then on Facebook, Sasja Nieukerk-Chomos shared the idea, writing:

"'Mom, I hate them.'

'Them' being her friends at school.

This is what my 7-year-old confided to me as I was putting her to bed the other night.

I could have made light of her hatred, like I’ve done when she tells me she hates broccoli.

I could have gotten caught up in her anger: 'Who are these kids upsetting my daughter!?'

Instead, I asked her what was going on that her heart hurt so much.

Because under anger is usually hurt."

"Sure enough, the tears came pouring out as she told me about how her best friend only wanted to play with another girl, and how when she went to find others to play with they told her to go away. This had been happening all week.

'Why doesn’t anybody like me?'

I didn’t have an answer for that, but I did have a thought: It’s time for the Kind Can.

Suddenly I was 8 years old again, a grade 3 student who was having a rough start to the school year. I had a teacher I didn’t like, friendships had shifted, and I couldn’t seem to get along with anyone. I hated going to school.

My mom created a Kind Can.

She used a big Nescafe tin can (remember those?)

In the can went the names of every single one of my classmates. Each morning before school I would pull a name out of the can. That day I had to go out of my way to do something kind for them.

Not to have them do something in return.

For no other reason than to do something kind.

It wasn’t easy at first, but my mom encouraged me to keep trying, and helped me think of all the different ways I could show kindness to others.

It started to get really fun!

And then things shifted.

No longer caught up in my own mind about what others were ‘doing to me’, I was now focused on what I was doing for others.

Though there were no expectations of kindness in return, more and more kindness is what I got. I loved going to school!

I told my daughter about the Kind Can and her eyes got that little spark – the one that tells me she’s about to get creative.

So yes, she has big plans for just how fancy this can will be – much better than an old tin can she proclaimed! That’s our project.

A Kind Can.

A way to create more kindness.

A way to keep our hearts open even when they want to close."

People loved the kind can idea, with the post being shared more than 3,000 times. Some people pointed out the beauty of the wisdom in it being passed down through generations. Several parents wished that they had seen the idea when their own kids were going through some social struggles. Many commenters said that a lot of adults could use a kind can as well.

A kind can won't solve every friendship woe a child has, but goodness knows the world could use more kindness. Helping kids practice that virtue with a tool that makes it specific and fun is definitely a win-win.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

Wheel of Fortune/Youtube

That was quite impressive.

Listen, while we all love a hilarious Wheel of Fortune fail, watching an epic win can be just as entertaining. And that’s exactly what recently happened on The Wheel when a contestant named Traci Demus-Gamble made a winning puzzle solve so out-of-nowhere that it made host Ryan Seacrest jokingly check her for a hidden earpiece.

In a clip posted to the show’s YouTube account Friday, Jan. 17, Demus-Gamble waved to her husband who was standing on the sidelines before going up to the stage for her next challenge: guess a four-word “phrase.”

Demus-Gamble wasn’t off to a great start, as only two of her given letters (“T” and “E”) made it to the board. And the odds didn’t improve much after Demus-Gamble, admittedly “nervous,” gave the letters “M,” “C,” “D,” and “O” and only two of those letters showed up once on the board.

“Again, not too much more, but who knows, you’ve had a lot of good luck tonight,” Seacrest said. “Maybe it’ll strike you.”

Then, all in under ten seconds (more like in 1.5 seconds), Demus-Gamble correctly guessed, “They go way back” like it was nothing.

Watch the incredible moment below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"How in the world did you solve that last one?" Seacrest asked.

"I just dug deep, I dug deep," Demus-Gamble said.

Yeah, you dug real deep," Seacrest replied. "Congratulations, great, great work."

“Now THAT was an amazing solve.”

“Wow! That was impressive!”

“I couldn't solve that one to save my life, but Demus-Gamble got it like it was nothing.”

“There's only one way to describe this to me: 😦”

At the end of the clip, Seacrest opened the envelope to reveal that Demus-Gamble’s puzzle solve won her $50,000, earning her a total win of $78,650. Certainly not chump change.

As for her winning strategy—Demus-Gamble assured no cheating was involved. “I just dug deep," she told Seacrest. We’ll say.

This article originally appeared in January

Parenting

Mom dissects one of the little "piles" around her house and her rant is so relatable

All parents will recognize the mental exhaustion brought on by these innocuous piles of junk.

Canva Photos

Piles of junk are driving one mom bonkers.

Running a household, especially with little kids running around, involves a lot of stuff. The kids have stuff, they bring stuff home from school, the grandparents give you stuff, other parents pass along stuff they don't need anymore. And of course, you've got your own stuff! That's to say nothing of the daily mail, which is a good 90% junk.

Where does it all go? Well, it either gets put away in the proper place, thrown away, or donated. But that doesn't always happen right away. First, the junk has to build and accumulate to the point where it annoys you and you're motivated to do something about it.

A mom is going viral for perfectly explaining the bane of her existence: All the "little piles" of junk.


Piles are usually at least 50% junk mail. Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

The natural form of junk is piles. As it accumulates, the piles will begin to form all over your house. The piles especially like the kitchen counter and the stairs.

"Here's what the single hardest thing for me is about being a mom," mom and Instagrammer Bekah Martinez begins in a video. "There's these little piles that accumulate. Mini piles. And I’m the only one who acknowledges these piles. These piles require so much mental energy all the time. Because there’s so many little decisions attached to every little item.”

In the video, she approaches a piano in her living room. Of course, because she's a mom and the piano's top offers a flat surface, there is a pile of random stuff on top. For our entertainment, she dissects and explains each individual item.

There's:

  • A lightbulb
  • A pacifier clip
  • A Shrinky Dink parrot
  • A small black plastic piece that broke off of something
  • A Sharpie

Martinez explains that she can't just throw all the stuff away, or even put it away! The lightbulb is a rechargeable lightbulb with a charger that needs to be tracked down. Her son has aged out of the pacifier clip and throwing it away seems wasteful but donating it is another chore to do. The Shrinky Dink was a gift and it will feel bad to throw it away but no one really wants it. That mysterious little black plastic thing might be needed at some point if she can ever figure out what it's from.

"No one else in this family at this point in our lives is going to do anything with these little piles," she says, getting more and more hilariously worked up, as if the piles have broken her very spirit. Watch the relatable and entertaining reel here:

Parents everywhere — especially moms — felt so seen by Martinez's rant.

Parents and non-parents alike know all about the piles. Parents just have the added bonus of their kids finding things in the street, collecting worthless plastic Happy Meal toys, and bringing six-dozen pieces of artwork home from school every week. It all goes into the piles.

Commenters had a lot to say about it.

"I have two full draws of 'little piles' that I didn't have the mental energy for"

"[Piles cause] 90% of my overstimulation"

"This is single-handedly the most relatable reel I've ever seen"

"Death by a thousand little piles"

"I've been a parent for 12 years and this is the best video I've ever seen which explains it"


simpsons, junk, clutter, house cleaning tips, organization tipsJunk drawer, anyone?Giphy

Some people had productive tips for dealing with all the junk:

"Get a basket and throw every little pile in it. If you don’t go to the basket to look for something within a month, you don’t need it so throw it away or donate!"

"I'm a professional organizer! ... Create 3 baskets that live in an area that you can ignored for a while. 1. Needs home (think the light bulb) 2. Donate (think the pacifier clip) 3. Memories (think the shrinky dink) ... Then, once a week, or at a cadence of your choice, revisit the baskets and take a solid 20min-hour creating a more permanent home or getting rid of those items!"

Others were in favor of getting revenge on all the people in the house that don't help clean up:

"I like putting the little piles on the stairs so I can watch the people, to whom they belong, walk by them on the stairs on their way to bed."

The greater point of Martinez's rant, besides the fact that the piles are annoying, was that it too often falls on one person in the house (ahem, you can probably guess who) to deal with them. The piles are invisible to everyone else, she claims, including her partner. It seems silly to complain about a light bulb and a Sharpie, but she's right: Dealing with the piles is far too big a mental load for one person to take on.

Some people get so overwhelmed by it all that they create "doom piles," which are especially common in people with ADHD. It's like a giant super pile, where you take all the junk and put it together in one place. It makes things look more tidy outside of that one area, but it creates a major headache for future-you. Experts say the best way to attack the piles is to do it in small chunks so you don't get overwhelmed, and ideally offer yourself a small reward for your efforts. A great way to approach it is to work on separating the piles into trash, put away, and donate for 10 minutes before you watch TV at night!

Oh, and partners who supposedly "don't notice the piles" (you know who you are), let's get off the couch and into the game. Go team!

Diane Tirado/Facebook

Left: Teacher Diane Tirado. Right: The note she left for students after being fired.

If you're of the mind that kids today are being coddled and not properly prepared for the real world, well, you might want to buckle up for this one. The story out of a public school in Florida has parents and teachers alike up in arms.

A Florida teacher was fired for giving her students zeros for missing assignments. Diane Tirado has been a teacher for years. Most recently, she was an eighth-grade history teacher at Westgate K-8 School in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Diane recently gave her students two weeks to complete an Explorer notebook project, but several students simply didn't hand it in. Since there was zero work done, Diane gave them zeros.

She got fired for it.

schools, teachers, education, grades, students, parentsMichael Scott from The Office saying "What?"Giphy

The elementary school has a rule called the “no zero policy."

The lowest possible grade that teachers can give students is a 50, even if they don't turn anything in. That means that an extremely poor completed assignment is worth the same number of points as no assignment at all.

Hardly seems fair, right? Westgate is far from the only school that has such a policy, however.

whiteboard, education, classroom, teacher, middle school, 8th grade A message written on the whiteboard for her students after Diane Tirado was firedDiane Tirado/Facebook

It's a rule that Diane, unsurprisingly, does not agree with. After she was fired for disobeying, she left her students a charming goodbye message on the whiteboard.

"Bye kids. Mrs. Tirado loves you and wishes you the best in life. I have been fired for refusing to give you a 50 percent for not handing anything in. Love, Mrs. Tirado"

The scale, as outlined by the school, reads as follows:

A = 90 to 100
B = 80 to 89
C = 70-79
D = 60-69
F = 50-59

Diane later shared the story on Facebook, hoping to spread awareness about the school's policy.

“A grade in Mrs. Tirado's class is earned," she said.

“I'm so upset because we have a nation of kids that are expecting to get paid and live their life just for showing up and it's not real."

Diane's post has gone viral, and most commenters agree with her position – it's not fair to hand out grades for work that doesn't exist.

No zero policies are common in many schools, and teachers notoriouslyhate them. But it's at least worth considering why they exist. Some educators say it's because when a student earns a zero, it's very difficult for them to ever recover their grade in that class. In other words, it may be too harsh. Others argue that, if you don't want a zero, don't turn in nothing! Getting an earned-zero is a great way to learn to at least try.

A follow up statement from the school stated: "Ms. Tirado was released from her duties as an instructor because her performance was deemed sub-standard and her interactions with students, staff, and parents lacked professionalism and created a toxic culture on the school’s campus. ... During her brief time of employment at West Gate, the school fielded numerous student and parent complaints as well as concerns from colleagues. Based on new information shared with school administrators, an investigation of possible physical abuse is underway."

However, school representatives did not deny the existence of the no zero policy, and Tirado claims the school engaged in a smear campaign after she became a "whistleblower" on their policies. She's currently considering legal action against the district.

Still, the debate over the grading policy rages on.

“The reason I took on this fight was because it was ridiculous. Teaching should not be this hard," Diane said.

This article originally appeared 6 years ago.

Images via Max/Curb Your Enthusiasm and Canva

Larry David looks at a couple breaking up

If there's one thing we know about comedian Larry David, it's that he tells it like it is. Well, at least like it "is" according to Larry. Having co-created Seinfeld (with Jerry Seinfeld), it was often rumored that Larry was represented through both lovably grumpy characters, Jerry and George. Things just seemed to happen to these guys, and while George would usually get easily agitated, Jerry was the embodiment of a shrug emoji.

Later, when Larry created Curb Your Enthusiasm for HBO, he leaned into the character even more, finding himself in hilarious situations with very little empathetic attachment. And because he was so true to that character, both in its writing and performance, a lot of people simply love him for it.

In a delightful Instagram Reel on The Seinfeld Addict page, Larry goes on Jimmy Kimmel Live and among many anecdotes, reveals what he believes to be his best quality: how he deals with breakups.

Larry tells him matter-of-factly, "I think my best quality is - I'm a great person to break up with." Jimmy laughs, while Larry reiterates, "Fantastic. So fantastic."

He goes on, "There's no histrionics. There's no scene. Ya know, everybody's afraid to say it. 'Larry, I'm so sorry, I just don't think we should see each other anymore.'" Larry then shows Jimmy how he reacts, cheerily exclaiming, "Oh! Really? Okay, that's good!" To which Jimmy asks, "That's your best quality?"

This conjured up Seinfeld memories in the comment section. "One of the best scenes in Seinfeld ever. 'Oh. That's okay. I'll meet someone else.'" Of course, they're referring to the "Even Steven breakup," where a woman dumps Jerry at the coffee shop and he's unbothered, to say the least. So much so that as he pays the bill, he earnestly says, "Anyway, it's been really nice dating you for a while. Good luck!"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This is in stark contrast to another famous Seinfeld episode, wherein Elaine must face the "Bad Breaker-Upper." She explains to Jerry, "He says the mean things you don't mean, but he means 'em." (Boy did he ever!)

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Handling breakups is quite the topic on Reddit, with countless threads dedicated to it. In the subreddit r/datingoverthirty, one person posed, "What would you want to hear during a breakup?" There were nearly 200 answers.

This Redditor shares, "Acknowledgment of the fact that it sucks and that it must be difficult for me, and that I'm allowed to feel whatever I feel. No excuses, no 'I'm letting you down gently so you're not allowed to blame me,' no 'you're so great I'm sure you will find someone that will make you happy.' Just the facts, an apology, and accepting that he may dislike you for a bit for hurting him."

And this one just wanted their meat back. "One thing I like is if a woman is going to break up with me, she brings me my stuff that I left at her place. One time, a woman broke up with me, but before that, I bought these t-bone steaks and left them in her freezer. She brought the steaks back (and also my books), and so it sucked that I didn't have a girlfriend anymore, but it was okay because I had a couple of steaks."

Break Up GIF by Studios 2016Giphy

Sometimes we can't all be as cool-headed as Jerry and Larry seem to be. In the article, "How to Respond Maturely, and the Benefits of Responding Positively, When Someone Breaks Up With You" by Alianess Benny Njuguna, twelve suggestions for handling a breakup are given. These include self-soothing, not trying to change their mind, listening, and perhaps one we often forget: forgiveness. "Eventually, find forgiveness for them in your heart. It's difficult, and it may even seem impossible right now, but holding a grudge against them will only hurt you in the end and keep you from having positive dating experiences."

Modern Families

Husband who lost his job reluctantly moves family in with mother-in-law. Pure joy ensued.

Families moving in together isn't failure. Sometimes it's their greatest success.

Image via Canva

Katie Bunton shares her family's journey with multigenerational living.

Multigenerational living is not as common in our independent, self-sufficient American culture–but Instagrammer Katie Bunton (@ktbunton) is hoping her experience will open more people's minds to it. Bunton, her husband Harry and their twin boys recently moved in with their mother-in-law Louella Beale (@nana_lulu_love) after experiencing financial hardship, and opened up about the experience with her followers.

"We moved in with my MIL (mother-in-law) 2 months ago when my husband lost his job and I just keep thinking...it must have taken a lot of propaganda to make us believe this was failure," she writes in the video's caption.

In the inspiring video, Bunton showed her viewers some of the incredible benefits they've had with the extra support of Nana Lulu. From making and eating meals together to time spent in the garden and doing other menial daily tasks, she shows that life has truly improved–even though society may look at their living situation differently. "So you’re telling me, this isn’t how it was supposed to be all along ? #multigenerationalliving with @nana_lulu_love 🫶🏽," she captioned the video.

And viewers are showing their support. "I wholeheartedly believe that we’re supposed to be living with family❤️," one wrote. Another added, "It’s the best. My grandmother and mother live with us. I could never asked for a better support system. I would never ever live without multiple generations in the same house or compound." And another shared, "This has forever been my dream 😢 I’m with you, we’ve been lied to in the west. Intergenerational living is beautiful and to me the gold standard for living in harmony and raising children well ❤️."

And Nana Lulu herself commented, "🥹🥹😭😍😍 I’m such a lucky lucky so and so. 🙏🏽Thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽 for the beautiful blessings of family love. 💛💛💛💛"

In another video, Bunton shared a vlog with her followers showing more about living with her MIL and the benefits of living multigenerationally. "You’re telling me we could have both parents present and hands on, all we have to do is just lower our cost of living? spend less money? And pool our resources with family? 🤯" she wrote.

In the video, she explains that her family moved in with Nana Lulu at the end of January 2025. "It's taken us quite a while to get into the swing of things. We moved into a new town as well," she adds.

Their routine has completely changed, but in a good way. And she has noticed positive changes in her relationship. "My husband has felt happier, lighter and more himself than I have ever seen him," she says.

The second video also got tons of positive comments from viewers who are loving their new living situation. "This is my definition of rich ❤️," one wrote. Another added, "As someone that doesn’t have a MIL to fall back on, I just want you to know that I’m so happy you have that. So happy you know the peace that extended family can bring and that you/your husband have the support you need to get to the next stage 🫶🏼💕." And another shared, "My husband and I live with my parents. They built us a basement apartment and I am forever grateful to them not only for that but for the bond it has allowed them to have with my kiddos ❤️ I definitely get caught up thinking we’ve done something wrong but we’ve just done what we can with the cards we are dealt. I am so grateful for my village."