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The keys to a good, long-lasting marriage, according to happy older couples

Couples married for 25 to 57 years share the wisdom they've gleaned about happy relationships.

older couple cuddling, man kissing woman's forehead
Photo by Gustavo Fring/Pexels

What makes some relationships work so well for so long?

No one goes into their wedding day thinking that their marriage won't last, but as we all know, "happily" doesn't always mean "ever after." Some marriages start off strong and fizzle out over time. Some people choose the wrong partner to begin with and end up divorcing. Some go through major life upheavals that they aren't able to overcome as a pair.

But some couples live the dream, not only staying together for the long haul but truly living happily ever after. That's not to say they don't have their share of challenges or that their relationships are perfect, but long-term, happy marriages really do exist.

People often want to know what the "secret" is to a good marriage that lasts. What is it that these couples do or don't do to stay together for life in marital bliss?

Researchers like John Gottman have formally studied and analyzed relationships, sharing key elements that can make or break a marriage. But it's also good to go straight to the source—couples who are still married and happy decades after tying the knot—to hear what they have to say. Every individual and every couple are unique, of course, but when you hear similar things from happy old couples over and over again, it's a pretty safe bet that their wisdom is sound.

The AskOldPeople Reddit page has fielded various versions of the question, "What's the secret to a long and happy marriage?" several times. Here are some answers from people who've been married between 25 and 52 years:

"Marry someone who has the same basic values. Hobbies, interests and style will match over a while. Cleanliness, greed, jealousy, pettiness, ... will never change. This is character. So don`t believe that you can train this. You have to find a partner that matches with your core values. Family, friends, lifestyle." – 32 years

"Marry someone you really, really like. Because if you’re doing life together, you’re going to go through a lot of shit. So much shit, y’all. You’ve got to have a partner who you genuinely love seeing walk into the room at least 90% of the time. It’s been 32 years and I still smile when my partner shows up." – 32 years

"The three main ingredients to me are Love, Respect and Commitment. if any one of the three are missing, yer screwed." – 47 years

"Don’t let the small things bother you. Everyone has moods, but don’t take it personally. When we were first married I used to try and get my husband to talk through everything. I finally learned to just let him be for a while. In time, he’d usually come around and talk things through. Sometimes he wouldn’t, but that was okay. Be respectful, admit when you’re wrong, and be there for each other. Also, have outings with your friends alone and together. Everyone needs and deserves time to be with their friends. Divide up household chores (this is one area we still have issues with) and realize, at times, you may have to do more and vise versa." – 36 years

"We met when we were 16 and married 6 years later. During that time we got to know each other very well and agreed on common values by the time we got married. I have to say, we've never had a conflict on finances, religion, raising of children, education or any other major topic that surfaces during marriage. I trust my wife in every way as she does me. It seems to have worked for us." – 50 years

"Marry someone you both like and love. Make sure they feel the same about you. Respect, understanding, good communication are also key. Common life goals and values are a must. Make sure you have fun!" – 25 years

"Shared values, (shared faith helps), respect for each other in all things. We may not always agree on everything, but we have great respect for each other. Avoid criticism and blaming. If a serious issue has been talked out and settled, leave it in the past. Don't throw it back up at someone months or years later. Communicate, don't harbor resentments. If something is an issue, address it head on and negotiate a mutually agreed upon solution. Have a plan about finances. We do not make major financial decisions without consulting the other…And we make each other laugh, we have fun together. if you aren't laughing and having fun together, then you need to figure out why and fix that immediately. marriage is work, but its also fun, rewarding, exciting, fulfilling, and sexy!" – 44 years

"Luck in picking a decent guy at age 19 and then a lot of patience that we'd make it through the tougher times. But really it comes down to being a couple of decent human beings. It also helps a lot to be financially secure and not to have any major crises (mental illness, severely disabled child, addiction, etc) thrown at you. I'm a big fan of the the Gottmans who have done a lot of research on what makes marriages last or fail. Contempt is a killer. Actively paying attention to each other is good. And this sounds bad, but it's sort of like what makes Finland the happiest country--reasonable expectations. If you're looking for something out of a Disney fairy tale or some celebrity couple's curated IG stream every day you're bound to be disappointed. But a solid relationship where you both support each other through the ups and downs of life is a great thing." – 52 years

"— Choose wisely. Choose someone who has the same, or at least compatible, attitudes towards sex, money, religion, raising kids, and so on.

— Have the attitude that your marriage is more important than the wants or desires of either partner.

— Never assume that you know what your spouse is thinking or that they know what you are thinking. The roughest patches in our marriage occurred when one or both of us thought that our concerns were so screamingly obvious that only malice could explain the other’s failure to address those concerns. In reality, they weren’t even on the other’s radar and they weren’t really that obvious.

— Trust your partner and give them the benefit of the doubt unless you have concrete evidence that they have broken your trust. If you are worried, say something but do it in a non-accusatory manner." – 37 years

"There isn't one secret, but there are many components. The most important one is to choose your partner well for reasons that are deep and relatively permanent rather than shallow and fleeting. I chose my husband because he was authentic, honest, intelligent, fun, communicative, loving, and emotionally balanced. He was comfortable with who he was in a non-arrogant way and had no pretense.

The second is having the ability to compromise when it's important without suppressing your needs when they are important. You sometimes have to sacrifice what makes you comfortable for what is best for your future. That goes for both people. If one person is making all of the compromises, then it's going to create big problems.

In the long run, one of the more important things is that you both keep growing and improving as people together. You should be bringing out the best in each other. Couples that bring out the worst in each other will live in increasing misery. Part of doing this is recognizing when you've messed up and being able to apologize and try hard to be better." – 35 years

"The BFF aspect is real, in two senses. We are each other's closest confidant, but the connection is between two independent people, each with our own careers, interests, and circles of same sex friends, my bros and her galpals.

Neither of us has stopped growing. We were kids when we started. We have each changed enormously over this many years. It takes nonstop work, communication, and commitment to grow together rather than apart.

As our marriage has matured, we have built a supporting infrastructure of financial stability and kinship connections with grown kids, their spouses, and now grandkids that are becoming adults. In a way, we're not just a couple anymore, we're the center of a whole institution." – 57 years

Every relationship works differently, but shared values, love, respect, communication, trust, patience, compromise and choosing wisely to begin with seems to be key factors in having a relationship that not only lasts, but lasts happily. Even if you haven't experienced it yourself, it's heartening to know that happily ever after really is possible.

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Joy

5 small things that made us smile this week

We're giving you the small things that make us smile, every single week

True


Hey, have you heard? Life is kind of stressful. Between a news cycle that just won’t quit and the never-ending temptation to doom-scroll, finding small moments of joy throughout the day has become more important than ever.

Case in point: A dog wearing sunglasses.

A news headline that makes you want to high-five a million angels.

A sweet snack that boosts your dopamine, courtesy of our friends at All In.

Or a tweet so perfectly timed it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second).



These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. We'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to laugh? Have your heart melted? Cry happy tears? Let's get into it.

1. Petunia the pig

@knightk64 #petuniathepig#fyp#babypig#alltheprettygirls#animallove ♬ original sound - petuniathepig1

With over nine million views on a single video alone, you know there’s got to be something special about Petunia the Pig. And there is. Behold: the tiniest, most adorable pig we’ve ever laid eyes on. Abandoned by her pig mother, Petunia is a spotted teacup pig who was taken in by TikTok user @knightk64, and we’re all the better for it. She snorts (squeaks) constantly. She tippy-taps across the floor. She takes long naps nestled in her favorite blanket. And she now even has an adopted teacup pig sister named Rosie. Not to be dramatic, but we’d die for this pig.

2. Pop Muzik dances 

@ptpowers Everyone’s #foryoupage the @project21 dance or just us? #dad #baby #dance #fyp #trending ♬ Pop Muzik - M & Robin Scott

Remember when TikTok used to be a dancing app? The dance trends are making a comeback now in the best way—and this new trend is the most fun we’ve seen people having on this app in a while.

The trend started when a mega-talented group of girls from the Project 21 dance studio performed at the NYCDA 2025 dance competition in Las Vegas back in early April. Not only did the girls nab some of the highest awards at the competition, their recorded performance quickly went viral. The song choice? The 1979 classic “Pop Muzik.” The dance? Impossible to look away from. (Here’s a short clip of the girls in all their glory.)

While the original dance is just so fun to watch, what might be even more fun is seeing all the copycat performances and tutorials that have been launched across TikTok ever since. If this doesn’t make you want to get up and dance, nothing will.

3. Seeking out the extra in the ordinary 

There are so many beautiful moments each day that are worth noticing, and the folks at All In are out to help us recognize them. Each week, the All In crew takes to the streets to find the "extra" in the ordinary—small moments of joy that make a typical day just a little bit brighter. Today's moment of joy? Finding community and feeling like you're part of something really special. Can't get much better than that.

4. This tweet series about COVID lockdowns 

Back in 2023, a study in the British Medical Journal made headlines when it claimed that the COVID lockdowns of 2020 only “minimally” affected people’s mental health. As you can probably guess, when news of the study hit Twitter, people were not having it.

Cue one of the funniest and most eye-opening discussions of mental health we’ve possibly ever had as a society. Thousands of people took to the Internet to quote-tweet the article, sharing the most unhinged things they did while stuck in the confines of their house or bedroom, such as: Learning how to play a recorder with one nostril. Watching Glee 26 times in a row. Throwing a birthday party for the dishwasher. The list goes on.

As the fifth year anniversary of COVID lockdowns just passed, these tweets are circulating again. They’re funny, they’re raw, and they shine a spotlight on the effects of isolation on mental health in a way that’s never been done before. Here’s part one of a series, and here are some more. Enjoy!

5. Thirst edits featuring regular people

@coreymbrandon thank you 🥹 @Chili’s Grill & Bar #chilis #CapCut ♬ som original - helo

Here’s where the writer of this article shows her age and admits that, before this trend, she had no idea what a thirst edit was. Allow us to break it down for you: According to ChatGPT, a thirst edit is a video (or series of short videos), usually with specific music or text overlays, created to be seductive and attention grabbing. (Kinda like this, only set to music.)

This new trend takes a normal thirst edit and flips it on its head. Instead of trying to seduce the audience, people are now using thirst traps to romanticize daily life—stuff like eating mozzarella sticks at Chili’s, or hanging out by the pool—or to cheekily boost their own confidence. Set to the song “My Bubble Gum” by Rasheeda, this trend is just normal, everyday people absolutely feeling themselves and celebrating ordinary life. We love to see it.


For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

Wellness

We asked people what they enjoy that others don't understand. One answer ruled them all.

Surprisingly, research shows that these people are less likely to be neurotic.

Photo credit: Canva

Some people genuinely enjoy spending lots of time alone.

Some people have quirky hobbies and interests that other might find odd, so when we asked our Upworthy audience on Facebook, "What's something that you really enjoy that other people can't seem to understand?" and over 1,700 people weighed in, it wasn't too surprising. Some people shared things like housework, cleaning and laundry, which a lot of people see as chores. Others shared different puzzles or forms of art they like doing, and still others shared things like long car rides or grocery shopping.

But what was surprising was the one answer that dominated the list of responses. It came in various wordings, but by far the most common answer to the question was "silent solitude."

alone time, solitude, being alone, home aloneSweet solitude is heavenly for some people.Photo credit: Canva

Here are a few examples:

"Feeling perfectly content, when I’m all alone."

"Being home. Alone. In silence."

"That I enjoy being alone and my soul is at peace in the silence. I don't need to be around others to feel content, and it takes me days to recharge from being overstimulated after having an eventful day surrounded by others."

"Enjoying your own company. Being alone isn’t isolating oneself. It’s intentional peace and healthy… especially for deep feelers/thinkers."

Spending time by ourselves is something some of us relish, while some of us hate being alone. Naturally, this points to the common theory of introversion vs. extraversion, but in some ways, that's overly simplistic. Even the most peopley people among us can enjoy some quality alone time, and not all introverts see time alone as truly enjoyable. (It might be necessary for an introvert's well-being, but not necessarily something they truly revel in.)

sitting alone, solitude, contemplation, being by yourselfBeing alone doesn't automatically mean being lonely.Photo credit: Canva

Interestingly, studies have found that people who enjoy being alone are not any more or less extraverted than those who don't, though they do tend to be less "sociable." They are also less likely to be neurotic (tense, moody, worrying types) than the generally population and more likely to be open-minded. Those characteristics are the opposite of what social norms often tell us about people who want to be alone.

"If our stereotypes about people who like being alone were true, then we should find that they are neurotic and closed-minded. In fact, just the opposite is true," writes Bella DePaulo, PhD.

being alone, reading, drinking tea, solitudeIt's healthy to be comfortable being alone with yourself.Photo credit: Canva

There may be lots of reasons some people like to spend time by themselves while others don't. We are naturally social creatures and need social interaction, but some of us find ourselves overstimulated by being around other people all the time. On the flip side, some people find being alone not just unenjoyable, but extremely uncomfortable, which can be a problem.

"Ideally, we should be comfortable with ourselves, alone or with others," writes psychologist Tara Well Ph.D.. "If you are uncomfortable being alone, it means you are uncomfortable being with yourself without distraction, engagement, or affirmation from others. This can be a liability in life. If you cannot be alone, you may stay in situations or make life choices that aren’t good for you in the long run, like staying in a job or a relationship, mainly because you can’t tolerate being alone while transitioning to a better situation."

woman dancing alone, enjoying alone timeEnjoying your own company is a gift.Photo credit: Canva

Dr. Well also points out that people can make the most of their alone time, even if it's not something they naturally enjoy. One way is to make it purposeful, setting aside a little time daily to write in a journal, meditate, go for a walk or otherwise engage your mind and body in some form of reflection. Another is to pay attention to self-judgments that might make alone time uncomfortable and challenge them with some compassionate confrontation and counteraction with positive thoughts about yourself.

Alone time can be refreshing and rewarding, especially if it's something you naturally crave. Some people even like to take themselves out on dates or enjoy traveling by themselves. That kind of self-care can be just as important as connecting with others for our overall health and well-being. Being alone doesn't mean being a loner and it doesn't mean being lonely. Some of us genuinely like having quality time with ourselves, whether it makes sense to other people or not.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Art

Pianist stuns by using every part of his piano to perform 'Africa' by Toto

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone has so much fun playing the piano."

via Peter Benace/YouTube

Peter Bence plays the entire piano, and he does it barefoot.

Peter Bence’s performance of “Africa” by Toto has over 19 million views on YouTube because of his creative reimagining of the song and, well, just about everyone loves “Africa.” Bence is a Hungarian composer and producer who has become a viral sensation for his Michael Jackson, Queen, Sia, and Beatles covers. He has over 1.1 million followers on YouTube and has toured the globe, playing in more than 40 countries across four continents.

His performance of “Africa'' is unique because it opens with him creating a rhythm track and looping it by strategically tapping the piano and rubbing its strings to create the sound of shakers and conga drums.

The video eventually becomes rapturous, with Bence making the piano sound like an entire orchestra.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

As the video caption says, "Toto x Peter Bence = Africa Piano Symphony." Indeed. People were blown away by Bence's impressive rendition of the classic 80s song.

"I’m so glad to watch and see a fellow musician, that enjoys the music deep down. Excellent playing man!"

"So fluid. The piano is an extension of your whole body. Amazing."

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone has so much fun playing the piano. You're not just terrifically talented, I love the creativity."

"Brilliant! Loved it. It made me think what would J S Bach have done with looping on a piano/harpsichord?"

bach, piano, harpsichord, musicWhat if Bach had had looping technology?Giphy GIF by marko

"Mesmerizing! He became the music and the music became him."

"Are you kidding me!!!! This cover is incredible. Still listening to it, years after I discovered it."

"I return to this regularly, it's absolute witchcraft levels of genius. This level of talent isn't written in any handbook, it's completely unworldly."

"I love how PB plays a piano worth more than my house in his bare feet like it's an actual extension of his body. Pure brilliance."

baby at piano, toddler piano, piano prodigyPeter Bence was considered a musical prodigy as a child.Photo credit: Canva

If it seems like Bence was born to do this, that appears to be accurate. According to the bio on his website:

"Starting as early as age 2 he already played back melodies by ear from his favorite cartoons and films on his grandparents’ upright piano. Showing serious interest and talent, he soon began his musical education at 4 in the local music school of his hometown, Hajduboszormeny in Hungary.

He was considered a musical prodigy by teachers and peers, and was already accepted at Franz Liszt University of Music in Debrecen, despite he was still being enrolled at elementary school.

At 7 he wrote his first composition, which was heavily influenced by the music of Mozart and Chopin, and at 11 he published his first solo piano album of his early compositions."

So yeah. The guy has had piano chops since toddlerhood, and he's made the instrument his own with unique, edgy pieces like this one.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Released in 1982, “Africa” was Toto’s biggest hit, reaching number one 1 in the U.S., number 3 in the UK, and the top 10 globally. It’s a stirring piece of music that’s beautifully arranged with an anthemic chorus. However, the lyrics aren’t that accurate.

The song’s author, Toto keyboardist Jeff Pocaro, describes it as: “A white boy is trying to write a song on Africa, but since he's never been there, he can only tell what he's seen on TV or remembers in the past.”

Nevertheless, the song is an iconic tune that captures a specific spirit of the early ‘80s when the world turned its focus to Africa. Over 40 years later, the song’s wholesome sincerity has made it a piece of music that every few years captures the hearts of a new generation.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

music
Pop Culture

Real women trying on 'micro shorts' is the comedy gold we didn't know we needed

Proof we don't need to force ourselves to fit into trends…unless we're needing a good laugh.

Prisma Photo via Canva/Bianca Marie Arreola via Canva

Women are trying Free People's 'micro shorts' with hilarious commentary

With every season, comes a new trendy fashion item that retailers push as the must-have piece. But as we know, no trend is universally flattering.

Case and point, last year, when Free People, a specialty lifestyle brand for bohemian styled fashion, released its "micro shorts," which, as you can probably guess, are teeny tiny. They might check off all the requirements for a pair of shorts...except, they appear to be about the length of underwear.

If you're thinking "there's no way those would look good," you're not wrong! And to prove that point, a couple of women bought some to try on so you don't have to. The videos are not only honest but hilarious.

In one video Nicole Walters, a New York Times best selling author and mom to three girls, decided to order the shorts to see how they looked on someone with, "thigh meat." She wears a size 12 and often jokes about being a curvier on the bottom. When she pulled the shorts out, it looked as if she was going to have to perform a magic trick to get them on. They looked to be the size a small child would wear, but they seemed to have gone on easily even though they looked extremely uncomfortable. She looked uncomfortable. The viewers likely looked uncomfortable.

"Oh wow. They're in there and by in there I mean everywhere. There's a lot of thigh meat happening right now in the, this region," Walters says as she gestures at her upper thighs. "There's some thigh meat, um...uh...I feel like they're definitely in some places that I didn't know I had."

Walter's review of the shorts has people in stitches as she jokes about her Christianity falling out of the shorts.

"It’s the Barbie walk for me lol!!! Thank you for your service," one person says.

"The way you warn us that you’re going to turn around almost made me scream with laughter," someone writes.

"I'm just going to go ahead and dial 911 for help bc looks like you may need the jaws of life to come out them shorts...lol!! Your commentary had me dying laughing..lol," another commenter jokes.

In another Free People "micro shorts" try on video, Nicole Story Dent braved the itty bitty shorts to show her audience the summer trend they can look forward to seeing. The first pair of shorts has multiple flaps that appear to be large pockets which inspires Dent to pretend to fly in them before the discomfort sinks in.

"It's kinda giving waitress...if they ever want to make a Waffle House-Hooters hybrid, we have their uniform, "she said. "We have been asking for more pockets so they delivered. Speaking of delivered, you could deliver a baby without having to take these shorts off."

Dent guessed that the shorts would be more like "jundies" or "janties" than jorts, the shorthand term for jean shorts. Commenters couldn't stop laughing at her description of the shorts while others provided her with words of wisdom.

"Do NOT drop it low in these jundies, that kind of contact with the club floor is NOT hygienic," someone wrote.

"'There is nothing vegan about these. There is absolutely a cat being harmed!' I’m cackling! You really should win something from Free People for this! @freepeople we found your next model," another person joked.

"This is the kind of content the internet was made for, it’s just so good. However my thighs started getting chafed just watching this," added a third.

If you're brave enough to give these micro shorts a try, go ahead and stock up on some baby powder for all the chaffing. However, it's all about long Bermuda shorts this year. And since no one can keep up with fashion's rapid pace anyway, why not just stick with what feels good?

This article originally appeared last year.

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Music

In 2022, John Lennon's son performed 'Imagine' for the first time after swearing he never would

"Within this song, we’re transported to a space, where love and togetherness become our reality, if but for a moment in time."

via Julian Lennon/YouTube and Wikimedia Commons

John and Julian Lennon both performing "Imagine."

In 1971, a year after the break-up of the Beatles, John Lennon released his most important piece of music, his single “Imagine.” The song is an appeal to humanity’s goodness and urges the listener to "join us" in visualizing a world without war, hunger, or greed.

The song provides a glimmer of hope in that if we can visualize a perfect world, then maybe one day it will be achievable. Over the past 50 years, the song has become a secular hymn that can conjure hope in the aftermath of the most tragic events. The song was played by Queen at Wembley Arena after Lennon was murdered in 1980. Steve Wonder sang it at the closing ceremonies of the 1996 Olympics to honor the lives of those lost at the Centennial Olympic Park bombing. Neil Young played it at the 9/11 Tribute to Heroes concert. And who could forget the infamous celebrity singalong to "Imagine" in 2020 barely a week into the initial COVID pandemic shutdown?

“Imagine” is widely seen as Lennon’s signature song that encapsulates his artistic persona, which is no small feat given the earth-shattering effect the songs he wrote with the Beatles have had on the world.

John Lennon, Beatles, musician, Imagine, magnum opusimagine the beatles GIFGiphy

Given the song’s incredible power, Lennon’s son Julian vowed never to perform it in public. Julian has had success as a musician over the years, most notably with his 1984 hit, “Too Late for Goodbyes.” He’s also a philanthropist who has produced numerous documentaries.

The war in Ukraine pushed Julian to break his vow and he performed a beautiful rendition of “Imagine” as part of Global Citizen’s social media rally, “Stand Up For Ukraine” on April 8, 2022. The campaign worked to raise money for the war-torn country, a cause Julian still adamantly supports three years into the conflict.

During the 2022 performance, Julian was accompanied by guitarist Nuno Bettencourt, who is best known as the lead guitarist of the Boston rock band Extreme and a member of Rihanna's touring band.

"The War on Ukraine is an unimaginable tragedy... As a human, and as an artist, I felt compelled to respond in the most significant way I could," Lennon wrote in the video's description in 2022. "So today, for the first time ever, I publicly performed my Dad’s song, IMAGINE. Why now, after all these years? — I had always said, that the only time I would ever consider singing ‘IMAGINE’ would be if it was the ‘End of the World’…But also because his lyrics reflect our collective desire for peace worldwide."

Watch:

- YouTubeyoutu.be

Lennon went on to say he was influenced to sing the iconic song "because within this song, we’re transported to a space, where love and togetherness become our reality, if but for a moment in time… The song reflects the light at the end of the tunnel, that we are all hoping for…

“As a result of the ongoing murderous violence, millions of innocent families, have been forced to leave the comfort of their homes, to seek asylum elsewhere,” Lennon concluded his message. “I’m calling on world leaders and everyone who believes in the sentiment of IMAGINE, to stand up for refugees everywhere! Please advocate and donate from the heart. #StandUpForUkraine.”

John Lennon, Imagine, song, piano, musicianJohn Lennon recording at the piano. via Wikimedia Commons

Lennon’s decision to never play “Imagine” was a wonderful way to honor his father’s legacy by respecting the power of his song, but John would probably be proud if he knew that he sang it at a time when we all need to imagine “all the people living life in peace.”

Julian Lennon continues to advocate for those suffering in the world by raising awareness and offering help through his charity, The White Feather Foundation, which was established in 2007 and exists "for the Conservation of Life" and provides aid for the environment, the preservation of Indigenous cultures, and access to clean water, education, and health.

In 2023, The White Feather Foundation launched an emergency campaign alongside World Central Kitchen to feed those in need in response to the Israel-Hamas conflict. And earlier this year, Lennon and The White Feather Foundation donated a split $10,000 to MusiCares and FireAid in response to the Los Angeles wildfires in January.

Clearly in all that Lennon does to help the world and others, whether through his philanthropy or his music, he's supporting the vision of "Imagine" and making his father proud.


This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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Family

Mom admits she isn't perfect in a hilarious self-made 'back-to-school’ sign

She was exhausted before the first bell rang.

via Pexels

First day of school can be exhausting … but for who?

It’s back-to-school time, and that means new school supplies, a trip to Target for clothes, and social media channels flooded with photos of kids holding chalkboards. Over the past decade, back-to-school photos with kids standing on their doorsteps with signs with their name, grade, year, and teacher have been ubiquitous on social media.

There’s nothing wrong with the photos, they’re a cute way for parents and kids to mark the passage of time. For most parents, it’s a way to remember that it all goes by way too fast. However, for the “perfect” parents out there who like to flaunt their Instagrammable lifestyle, they’re another way to show off their “flawless” first days on social media.

In an attempt to show parents they don't have to fall for the myth of perfection on social media, Jeni Bukolt—a mother of two boys age 8 and 12 from Waxhaw, North Carolina—posted a first-day photo of herself looking burnt out and wearing sunglasses. School hadn’t even begun yet.

"Mom's first day of school,” the handmade sign read. "I am 42 years tired. I'll probably miss a school 'theme' day. I really like sleep. Please don't ask me to volunteer. But I will buy you supplies."



"I make signs for my kids each year but lately I've thought about how I always feel behind, as though I'm failing (in some way)," Bukolt told Today. Clearly, other parents feel the same because it was a hit with a lot of them on Instagram.

A lot of comments were from parents who thought the photo was a breath of fresh air during a stressful time of year. "Brilliant, you speak for millions!" cathycole wrote. "May we all survive the drop off/pick up lane," merakifitnessandpole added.

"I thought maybe if I can create a lighthearted moment, some other moms will laugh and understand we're all in this kind of struggle together. Like, let's have empathy for each other," Bukolt told Good Morning America.

Bukolt hopes her post builds an “empathy bridge” between parents. She’d also like to shine a little reality on the parents who feel judged on social media.

"I also feel like when you look at social media, there's all these, [picture perfect] worlds,” she added. “It's not the true story. And some people think like, 'Oh, they have it better or they're perfect,' and this is an opportunity to say no, we're all real human beings ... we're all in the struggle together."

But of course, there were some humorless parents who thought her post wasn’t supportive of teachers or her two sons. So Bukolt made a follow-up where she explained that she was just having fun.

“For the keyboard warriors… yes I do have a job, yes I love my kids and no, I don’t hate teachers. Back to work. Have a great day!” she wrote.


The next year, Bukolt returned with another sign where she said she's "43 years tired," has a "new sleep routine," and please don't ask her to do any math. "Liam asked me about division last night. I know that common core math should be easier, but apparently I am NOT smarter than a 4th grader," she joked in the comments.



Parenting is hard and we all fall short of glory at times. Kudos to Bukolt for making us feel a little less alone and letting us know that some folks have already accepted their imperfections on the first day.

"If other moms can get a good laugh about it, then that makes my heart happy," she said.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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