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Kal Penn finally came out, sharing how he and his partner fell in love in his new book

Kal Penn fiance, Kal Penn book
Instagram

Kal Penn on Instagram

When people picture Kal Penn, they most likely think of a certain stoner with a munchie-induced craving for hamburgers. Others might remember Penn's two-year stint as an associate director in the Office of Public Engagement during the Obama presidency. But whether you associate him with White Castle or the White House, Penn recently revealed what most of the world did not know about him: that he is also the loving fiancé to his partner, Josh, of 11 years. His first public coming out came alongside the promotion for Penn's new memoir, "You Can't Be Serious."

The actor known for his roles in the "Harold and Kumar" movie series tweeted that the book delves into his story of growing up as the son of immigrants, moving out to Hollywood to pursue a dream of "making people laugh" (which apparently involved some racist auditions for shows like "Sabrina The Teenage Witch") and taking a break from acting to work at the White House. The book also covers Penn's relationship with his partner Josh, including their first date watching NASCAR.

According to People, "You Can't Be Serious" details their meet-cute, with Josh arriving at Penn's apartment with an 18 pack of Coors Light, ready to watch a car race. Penn wasn't quite ready to think of this date as romantic. But don't worry, this love story has a happy ending.

"I thought, 'This obviously is not going to work out,'" Penn told People. "I have one day off from The White House and this dude is unironically watching cars go around and making left turns? Next thing you know, it's been a couple months and we're watching NASCAR every Sunday. I'm like, 'What is happening?'"

I mean … if that's not love, I don't know what is.

For Penn, this aspect of his identity came later in life. He shared with People that "I discovered my own sexuality relatively late in life compared to many other people. There's no timeline on this stuff. People figure their s--- out at different times in their lives, so I'm glad I did when I did."

Penn also shared that coming out to his parents was relatively easy, telling People that "I know this sounds jokey, but it's true: When you've already told your Indian parents and the South Asian community that you intend to be an actor for a living, really any conversations that come after that are super easy. They're just like, 'Yeah, okay.'" He noted that everyone has different coming out experiences and that he was "very fortunate" to receive his family's support.

Though Penn has been very eager to share his relationship, he had the challenge of respecting Josh and his family, who "don't love attention and shy away from the limelight." This includes a "big disagreement" on whether or not to do a huge wedding or a tiny wedding. Penn told People, "I want the big ass Indian wedding. Josh, hates attention, [has said], 'Or we could just do quick 20-minute thing with our families and that's it.' So we have to meet halfway in the middle." I think all couples are really just different versions of tiny wedding Josh's and big ass wedding Kal's.

Of course, we're striving to create a world where instead of headlines reading "Kal Penn Comes Out and Is Engaged," we can see something as simple as "Kal Penn Is Engaged" without needing a public announcement of sexual orientation. But the truth is that for many cultures this subject is still under a challenging stigma. And for someone like Penn to normalize it helps others like him make it normal too.

Take a look at some of the responses he's received online.


One person wrote: "this was originally gonna be a generic Halloween tweet about a costume but given that he came out today & announced he is engaged to his boyfriend of 10 years I just wanna say thank you @kalpenn for inspiring a whole generation of Indian kids to break stereotypes. I owe u so much"

This comment pretty much sums it up: "because of you I felt safe pursuing entertainment, and now thanks to you millions of LGBTQ+ indian people will get to see themselves represented in the mainstream media."

Sometimes these seemingly small moments of expressing individual truth helps others live their lives in a more authentic way.

Others responded that they were disappointed in Penn's announcement, including journalist Louis Peitzman, who wrote "Kal Penn coming out by announcing he's marrying someone who isn't me … that's a choice."

Considering that Penn has been listed as "Most Eligible Bachelor" by People magazine, I'd say he's probably left many feeling unrequited love. It's well worth the broken hearts, Kal! Congrats to you and Josh.

Penn told People that he wanted his book to feel like "sharing a beer" together while he brought people into his stories. You'll be able to check out those stories for yourself on Nov 2.

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'Lazy' mom of four shares a video of her incredibly messy home and parents love her for it

"It's not dirty, it's just messy."

via themessymama4/TikTok

Bri James and her messy (not dirty) home.

It’s hard to keep your home clean when you have a child, but when you have four, unless you have a live-in maid, it’s completely impossible. There is no dishwasher fast enough to keep up with the dishes in the sink and no magical point where all four children have it together enough to put their toys away.

The problem is that if you take your eyes off the prize and let a day go by without cleaning up, you’re practically drowning in chaos.

TikTok user and stay-at-home mom Bri James (aka @themessymama4) did the unthinkable and let her home go four days without tidying up and shared the incredible mess with everyone on TikTok.


"I know I'm going to get roasted," she says in the clip, "but ... this is what happens when two really lazy adults have four kids and don't clean up after themselves."

The clip shows cutlery on the floor, empty packets everywhere, dishes piled a mile-high in the sink, and clothes and toys strewn everywhere. The house looks like the parents went away on a permanent vacation and left their kids to fend for themselves.

The video was praised by a lot of parents who are tired of seeing mommy influencers with spotless homes and children in matching linen outfits. Finally, there was a mom on TikTok they could relate to.

"I'd MUCH rather see you clean your realistic house than watch another blonde clean an already clean countertop," Meghan Sanders wrote.

TikTokker Its_not_that_serious put things in perfect perspective. "Dude, at the end of the day all of their fingers and toes are attached and feeling safe and loved you’re doing fine. Someday the house will be clean," they wrote.

"Having children is mentally and physically exhausting and you don’t always have the energy to clean every day," Rose added.

But not everyone appreciated Bri's slice of reality. Some people thought that her messiness was borderline neglectful and that she was setting a terrible example for her children.

"Set a good example for your kids. Make them help," carleebocciaa wrote.

"Without children = fine, your choice. With children (especially small ones) = completely unacceptable," ACZOgirly wrote.

Shortly after posting her first video, Bri got to work on the impossible task of cleaning up the entire house. Noticeably absent from the job were her spouse and four children. She appears to clean the entire place by herself.

She showed her cleaning prowess through a series of fast-motion videos.

@themessymama4

my butt does not look flattering in these Walmart lounge pants 🤦🏼‍♀️😅

Finally, at 9:30 p.m., Bri was done with most of the job, although she still had a bit of vacuuming to do and there were still some dishes in the sink. At the end of the job, she was exhausted. But she got the job done and that’s all that matters. It’s OK to let your house fall into disarray from time to time but eventually, you have to take care of business.

@themessymama4

I'm going to bed now. 🤣🥱😴

We’ll give TikTokker Sannon Martin the final word on this story because she hits the nail on the head. “Your home is exactly like mine,” she wrote. “Some days it’s a wreck and some days it looks amazing. That’s life. You’re doing great!”


This article originally appeared on 03.05.22

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She called the police when she couldn't tell her twins apart. She wasn't wrong.

Here's how they helped.

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The stress was so intense for a mother of identical twins that she got law enforcement involved.

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