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In the big picture, a slim Biden win may actually be the best possible outcome for America

In the big picture, a slim Biden win may actually be the best possible outcome for America

Progressive-minded people across the U.S. who were hoping for a landslide Biden victory that would serve as a referendum on Trumpism quickly had their hopes dashed on Election Night. As of this moment, we don't know the outcome of the election yet, but signs are pointing to a much-narrower-than-predicted victory for Joe Biden.

In all honesty, we should have seen it coming. As someone who spends a lot of time on social media and pays attention to what people pay attention to, the signs were all there. Comment sections full of Trump supporters pushing narratives full of disinformation. The Facebook Top 10 most popular posts list being filled with right-wing outlets that peddle alternative facts and bash legitimate journalism every single day (despite these same right-wing folks crying about Big Tech suppression and censorship). The clear fear and paranoia over "Antifa" and "radical leftists" and "socialism," which Trump has disingenuously-yet-successfully associated with the slightly-left-moderate-at-best Joe Biden. The racism, of course, that is obvious to half of us but that Trump and his supporters insist isn't there.



And if you're reading this article through Facebook, take a peek at the comments afterward. The vast majority of comments will be from people who only read the headline and don't read the article. It's going to happen as sure as the sun rises and sets. That's a big part of the problem, too.

American people today are living in two vastly different countries, if not entirely different worlds. On a fundamental level, we are more like the Divided States of America than the United States—only the divide isn't geographic, but ideological. People have unfortunately accepted the binary left/right, liberal/conservative boxes that modern discourse demands we place one another into, removing nuance from every issue and assigning a "side" to every statement. Even science—basic science—has become a politically polarizing topic.

Partisanship plays a big role in this, with the pitfalls of our de facto two-party system being laid bare. White dominance plays a big role, manifested in both obvious racism and the unspoken white identity politics that has been plugging along since our founding. Greed and selfishness play a role, as does the genuine economic strife of millions of Americans due to the pandemic. Disinformation plays a huge role, as do the ignorance and ingrained prejudices that make millions of Americans easy prey for it.

A Biden 2020 landslide was always a pipe dream. It was magical thinking for people who want to believe that these problems are not as prevalent as they are, who deluded themselves into thinking that Americans were somehow immune to the propaganda of a populist authoritarian demagogue, and who dared to hope for proof that we are better than our worst human instincts.

But here we are. Despite ample warnings from historians, psychologists, survivors of the Holocaust, and more that another Trump term would be the final blow to the foundations of our democracy, we sit here biting our nails over how close the final count will be.

Stepping back and looking at the big picture, though, this is probably the best possible scenario for America. If Biden pulls out a slim win, the immediate authoritarian threat of Trump is removed—but we will still be forced to confront our national and social demons. A landslide win would have been comfortable, which would have made it far too easy for too many of us to say, "Oh, that Trumpism thing was just a fluke. A blip. An anomaly. The country's really okay." Clearly it was not, and clearly we are not.

That's not a reality that's easy to swallow, but it's reality, and we need to face it head on.

When nearly 70 million Americans are willing to overlook hundreds upon hundreds of examples of indecency and incompetence—any one of which would have spelled the end of an elected official in a normal timeline—in order to avoid paying a little more in taxes, or to fulfill their xenophobic fever dreams, or to "protect the unborn" (despite abortion rates dropping the most under Democratic presidents), or to "protect the 2nd amendment" (despite zero evidence that Democrats were planning to do away with it), or to "save the us from corruption" over a toothless story about his opponent's son (despite Trump's corruption being rampant and out in the open), or to "save freedom" because they see being required to wear a mask during a literal pandemic as tyranny, or to see themselves reflected in Trump's own delusions of narcissistic glory (that's an actual psychological thing), or simply to "stick it to the libs" like we're all stuck in junior high school, no, we as a country are not okay.

And make no mistake—this is our country. It's the America of the moment, and in many ways, the America we've always been. Most Black Americans—who by the way came out 87% for Biden, by far the most of any racial demographic—have been telling us this over and over. The demographic vote split was largely predictable, with the only broad groups tipping for Trump being men (+1%), people over age 65 (+2%) and white folks (+14%). Women, every other racial group, and every other age group tipped for Biden.

So the one hopeful takeaway here is that the U.S. is growing less white and the older generation is on its way out. But we have to keep doing the work to make sure that the white supremacy we've inherited gets dismantled instead of passed on, and we have to keep fighting the good fight against misinformation that leads to a shocking percentage of people to believe in kooky, dangerous ideas of reality like QAnon.

Progress is usually a two steps forward, one step back process, but sometimes it seems like two steps forward, three steps back. Even if democracy prevails, we have a lot of work to do to make this country what it should—and hopefully can—be.

It'll be hard and it'll take time, but we'll get there eventually. We have to keep believing that.

Pets

Four guys asked their new neighbor if they could walk her dog. Then the dog wrote back.

"If you ever get bored, we are more than happy to look after him/her."

via Stevieticks / Instagram

A black dog and a note form "the boys from number 23."

If you've lived your whole life with a dog, a home has to feel pretty empty without one. Your heart has to feel like there's something missing as well. When Jack McCrossan, originally from Scotland, moved to Bristol, England with his three friends, they were bummed out to learn that their landlord didn't allow dogs.

So when they saw a beautiful black Sheprador (a German Sheppard Lab mix) in their neighbor's window, they knew that had to become buddies with her. They wrote the dog's owner, Sarah Tolman, a letter asking to arrange a play date with the dog. "If you ever need someone to walk him/her, we will gladly do so," they wrote.

"If you ever get bored (we know you never will, but we can dream), we are more than happy to look after him/her. If you want to come over and bring him/her to brighten our day, you are more than welcome. If you want to walk past our balcony windows so we can see him/her, please do," the letter continued.


"We hope this doesn't come too strong, but our landlord won't allow pets, and we've all grown up with animals. The adult life is a struggle without one," they wrote. "Yours sincerely, The boys from number 23," the letter concluded.

Soon after, the boys in 23 received a response from the dog herself, Stevie Ticks, accepting the offer. However, it may have been written by her human, Sarah Tolman. In the letter, Stevie shares a bit about herself, saying she's two years and four months old, was adopted in Cyprus, and that she's "very friendly and full of beans." (The boys shouldn't worry about a gassy hound, in England, "full of beans" means lively.)


"I love meeting new people and it would be great if we can be friends. I must warn you that the price of my friendship is 5 x ball throws a day and belly scratches whenever I demand them," the letter continued. A few days later, the boys got to meet Stevie. "Meeting Stevie was great!" McCrossan told Buzzfeed. "She was definitely as energetic as described. We got to take her for a walk and she wouldn't stop running!"

black labrador, dogs, dog-walkers, kind nieghbors, stevieticks, bristol, ukA black labrador (representative image).via Canva/Photos

Tolman thought the boys' letter was a fantastic gesture in an era where, quote often, neighbors are strangers. "In a day and age where people don't really know or speak to their neighbors, it was really nice for them to break down that barrier," she said. After the story went viral, she saw it as an opportunity for people to share their love of dogs with the world. "My mother and I are amazed at all the love we've received from around the world these past few days," Tolman wrote as Stevie. "If you have a doggo in your life, share that love with those around you."

A lot has changed in the past 6 years since this story warmed hearts around the globe. The boys have since moved away, but as of September 2024, Stevie is around 8 years old and still doing well. Her keeper and Sarah's partner, Chris Bowley, shared an update on Instagram. "[The boys] sadly moved out of Bristol. However, we have always tried to keep the ethos going of Stevie having as many friends and meetups as possible," Bowley wrote.


This article originally appeared six years ago.

Teachers are quitting in droves for a variety of heartbreaking reasons.

When I was a child, I used to line up my dolls and stuffed animals on my bedroom floor, pull out my mini-chalkboard and in my best teacher's voice, “teach” them reading, writing and arithmetic. Pretending to be a teacher was my favorite kind of imaginative play. In college, I majored in Secondary Education and English and became an actual teacher. I loved teaching, but when I started having kids of my own, I quit to stay home with them. When they got to school age, I decided to homeschool and never went back to a traditional classroom.

I kept my foot in the proverbial school door, however. Over the years, I’ve followed the education world closely, listened to teacher friends talk about their varied experiences and written countless articles advocating for better pay and support for teachers. I've seen a teacher burnout crisis brewing for a while. Then the pandemic hit, and it was like a hurricane hitting a house of cards. Teachers are not OK, folks. Many weren’t OK before the pandemic, but they’re really not OK now.

education, classroom, elementary school, students, teachers, teachingAn empty classroomCanva Photos

A recent poll from the National Education Association found that 90% of its members say that feeling burned out is a serious problem, 86% have seen more teachers quitting or retiring early since the pandemic began and 80% say that job openings that remain unfilled have added to the workload of those who are still teaching. And more than half of teachers say they will leave the profession earlier than they had planned. Some surveys show that being a teacher is even more likely to drive burnout and anxiety than being a healthcare worker, and that's saying something.

I checked in with several dozen teachers who have quit recently or are close to quitting, and the response was overwhelming. Over and over I heard the same sentiments: I went into teaching because I enjoy working with kids and I want to make a difference. I love teaching. I love my students. These are teachers who throw their whole heart into their work.

So why are they quitting? The reasons are plentiful—and heartbreaking.

Low pay is an issue many of us think of when it comes to teachers, but it's not the main thing pushing teachers to quit. One teacher told me that in his school district, garbage collectors make $10K more per year and have better benefits than teachers with graduate degrees and a decade of experience, but that wasn't his primary reason for wanting to leave. There’s no question teachers deserve to be paid more—a lot more—but teachers don’t choose to become teachers for the money, and most don’t quit because of the money, either. It’s the issues that make the wages not worth it.

(Many school districts are adopting 4-day school weeks in an effort to entice more teachers to join up and stay. It helps with pay-related issues, but doesn't solve many of the other problems.)

teachers, teacher pay, teachers quitting, education, public educationA teacher holds an "I quit" signImage via Canva

One of those issues is a lack of recognition that teachers are actually highly skilled professionals. “Paying teachers like we are professionals would go a long way,” says Bonny D., an educator in Idaho, “but really it's about trusting us to be able to do our work. Many teachers have Master's degrees or have been teaching for many years, but still aren't listened to or considered experts when it comes to helping students succeed.”

Jessica C. has taught middle and high school English in three different states and resigned in December. She says she loved working with kids and designing curriculum, but she finally left after seeing more and more teacher autonomy get stripped away as standardized testing became the primary focus.

“Despite my years of experience across multiple states and my two graduate degrees in education, I felt like nobody with any real power believed I was actually competent at my job,” she says. “I saw evidence that my students were growing as readers and writers, but at the end of the day the only thing that mattered was hitting a certain number on those state assessments. It was really disheartening to feel like nothing else mattered but that test, and that even though the test itself doesn't resemble any real-world reading or writing skills in any way, it was supposed to be the focus of all of my instruction.

teachers, teacher pay, teachers quitting, students, tests, standardized test, education, public educationstudents taking a testImage via Canva

“But let's not forget,” she added, “I also wasn't allowed to look at it at all or even really know what was on it or how it would be scored.”

California elementary school teacher Ann B. shared a similar sentiment: “Teaching over the past decade has lost its charm and sparkle. So many mandates, broken systems, top-down management from people who haven’t spent much time in the classroom made it difficult.“

Sarah K. teaches high school history and AP psychology in Tennessee. Unlike most of the teachers I spoke to, she is having one of the best school years of her career, but she shares concern for the state of public education in general. “I think a lot of teachers feel attacked and are afraid and are feeling like the job can't be done anymore,” she told me. “As a society, we have lost our ability to trust each other, and it is manifesting itself in not trusting teachers to teach, do their jobs and follow our hearts to love and inspire kids.”

In addition to micromanagement from administrators, classroom control from legislators and demonization from parents, I had two teachers share with me that they’d been through a school shooting. ESL teachers from different states shared that their school districts refused to put resources toward programs that would help their students succeed and basically told them that those students didn’t matter. Other teachers feel like their own lives don’t even matter.

students, teachers, teacher pay, education, teachers quitting, school administrators A teacher talks with a school administrator Image via Canva

“A teacher passed away from COVID in January in a different building,” says Jenn M., a 14-year veteran teacher from Pennsylvania. “The kids had the day off. The teachers came in and had no directive of what to do. We got tested for COVID, and that was it. I literally feel like if I die, nobody in the district would care about me. I want to feel important and impactful at work.”

And then there's the mental load that has always existed for teachers but has definitely been exacerbated by the pandemic. Teaching is not 8:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. with the summers and holiday breaks off. That’s just not how it works; not for any teacher I’ve ever known. And it's taxing work on every level. You’re working with dozens if not hundreds of kids every day. You care about them and their well-being, you’re trying to teach them whatever your subject is but also helping nurture them into fully functional human beings. You have constantly changing expectations coming from every side.

teachers, teacher pay, teacher exhaustion, schools, students, teachers quittingAn exhausted teacherImage via Canva

“Teaching is all-encompassing,” says an elementary school teacher from New Mexico who wishes to remain anonymous. “It is seriously draining emotionally and physically. It's not just a job that is easily turned off at the end of the day when you go home.

“Everything falls on the teachers,” she adds. “We are stuck in a no-win situation in the middle of a societal crisis. Schools have been pushing higher academics at earlier ages and the need to teach basic social skills, norms and niceties is higher than ever. Our roles and the demands on us are just increasing.”

Bonny D. agrees. “There is a mental load that goes with teaching,” she says. “It's very difficult to specifically identify. It's the workload, it's the constant changing of what's required of us as legislation changes, it's the restrictions on what we can teach, the expectation that we will work outside of the paid contract hours, the fact that it's easier to go to work sick than make sub plans, it's micromanaging teenagers, doing extra things in the school with no extra pay, the low morale created by parents who want to dictate what we do in the classroom without ever discussing it with us or volunteering in the classroom themselves.”

teachers, ross geller, friends, education, gif, studentsRoss Geller from Friends gets it!Giphy

And so much of what's expected of teachers is self-contradictory, as Jessica C. points out in a bullet list summary of what teachers have been asked to do over the past few years:

- Differentiate your instruction for every child, but don't deviate from what the textbook says to teach.- Teach directly from the textbook, word for word and page for page whenever possible, but also spend hours of your time designing a unit plan (even though one is provided in the textbook company's supplementary materials).

- Turn in detailed weekly lesson plans, even though we really just want you to turn the page and read what it says every day.

- Hold every child to high expectations and keep all your instruction and assessment on grade level, but make sure none of them fail, even if they come into your room drastically below grade level.

- Attend regular PLC meetings, but the principal is going to set the agenda and run the whole meeting and you won't really be asked to contribute anything at all. (Again, we're going to ignore that year-long training you got in your last district about the PLC model and just assume you don't know that we're deviating from the model completely.)

- You should be focusing on instruction, not wasting a minute of class time, but we're also going to expect you to collect T-shirt order forms, and fundraiser money, and take your kids down to the cafeteria for school pictures, and fill in for colleagues on your planning period. Oh, and you'll have to stay late several times a grading period so that you can work the gates at athletic events, because your professional performance review will be based on how much you gave to the school above and beyond your job description and contractual obligations.


The pandemic, of course, has made everything worse. Teachers have borne the brunt of all the upheaval in education, not only in having to completely change the way they teach and implement new technologies overnight, but also in dealing with the emotional and developmental challenges their students are facing throughout all of this. The pandemic has also exacerbated and highlighted issues of inequity in education that were already there.

Catlin G. is an intervention specialist who has taught for 18 years, primarily in schools in under-resourced communities. She says that what many districts are now dealing with—attendance and staffing issues, high variability in children's academic growth, a lack of resources—are all too familiar to her and the students she has worked with.

teachers, students, classrooms, teachers quitting, teacher pay, education, public educationAn empty classroomImage via Canva

"The pandemic drew a lot of attention to the role of education, but much of it has been focused on issues such as CRT or masking, which have deflected from bigger, long-term problems in schools, such as low literacy rates and crumbling infrastructure. I hope that people don't simply forget about education issues once their kids no longer have to wear masks to school, and begin to think about how we can make education better for all kids."

Some teachers cite student behavioral issues as contributing to their burnout, but most of the teachers I heard from held on in the classroom as long as they felt they could for their students' sake. After all, teachers generally go into teaching because they love kids and want to work with them.

“I never wanted to leave," an elementary school teacher from Washington who quit this year told me. "I cried with my students during my last week in the classroom. Their outpouring of love and understanding melted my heart. I had never felt so conflicted in a decision because I loved the students and my job.”

Between the pandemic throwing classroom teaching into chaos, parents and legislators dictating how and what teachers teach, and increasing assessments and top-down administration creating micromanagement issues, teachers feel like they aren't able to do the jobs they love and signed up for. They're not quitting because they hate teaching—they're quitting because they can't teach under these conditions. It's tragic, truly, and it's up to all of us to throw our support behind educators to stem the crisis a mass exodus of teachers will lead to.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

woman lying in a hospital bed looking out the window

It's hard to explain the relentless intensity of having young children if you haven't done it. It's wonderful, beautiful, magical and all of that—it truly is—but it's a lot. Like, a lot. It's a bit like running an ultramarathon through the most beautiful landscape you can imagine. There's no question that it's amazing, but it's really, really hard. And sometimes there are storms or big hills or obstacles or twisted ankles or some other thing that makes it even more challenging for a while.

Unfortunately, a lot of moms feel like they're running that marathon alone. Some actually are. Some have partners who don't pull their weight. But even with an equal partner, the early years tend to be mom-heavy, and it takes a toll. In fact, that toll is so great that it's not unusual for moms to fantasize about being hospitalized—not with anything serious, just something that requires a short stay—simply to get a genuine break.

moms, motherhood, exhaustion, parenting, parentingAn exhausted mom looks at her laptop while kids play in the backgroundImage via Canva

In a thread on X (formerly Twitter), a mom named Emily shared this truth: "[I don't know] if the lack of community care in our culture is more evident than when moms casually say they daydream about being hospitalized for something only moderately serious so that they are forced to not have any responsibilities for like 3 days."

In a follow-up tweet, she added, "And other moms are like 'yeah totally' while childfree Gen Z girls’ mouths hang open in horror."

Other moms corroborated, not only with the fantasy but the reality of getting a hospital break:

"And can confirm: I have the fondest memories of my appendicitis that almost burst 3 weeks after my third was born bc I emergency had to go get it taken out and I mean I let my neighbor take my toddlers and I let my husband give the baby formula, and I slept until I was actually rested. Under the knife, but still. It was really nice," wrote one mom.

"I got mastitis when my first was 4 months old. I had to have surgery, but my hospital room had a nice view, my mom came to see me, the baby was with me but other people mostly took care of her, bliss," shared another.


motherhood, moms, babies, exhaustion, mental healthAn exhausted mom holds her newborn babyImage via Canva

Some people tried to blame lackadaisical husbands and fathers for moms feeling overwhelmed, but as Emily pointed out, it's not always enough to have a supportive spouse. That's why she pointed to "lack of community care" in her original post.


They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother. Without the proverbial village, we end up bearing too much of the weight of childrearing ourselves. We're not just running the ultramarathon—we're also carrying the water, bandaging the blisters, moving fallen trees out of the way, washing the sweat out of our clothes—and we're doing it all without any rest.

Why don't moms just take a vacation instead of daydreaming about hospitalization? It's not that simple. Many people don't have the means for a getaway, but even if they do, there's a certain level of "mom guilt" that comes with purposefully leaving your young children. Vacations usually require planning and decision-making as well, and decision fatigue is one of the most exhausting parts of parenting.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Strange as it may seem, the reason hospitalization is attractive is that it's forced—if you're in the hospital, you have to be there, so there's no guilt about choosing to leave. It involves no decision-making—someone else is calling the all shots. You literally have no responsibilities in the hospital except resting—no one needs anything from you. And unlike when you're on vacation, most people who are caring for your kids when you're in the hospital aren't going to constantly contact you to ask you questions. They'll leave you to let you rest.

Paula Fitzgibbons shares that had three kids under the age of 3 in 11 months (two by adoption and one by birth). Her husband, despite being very involved and supportive, had a 1.5 hour commute for work, so the lion's share of childcare—"delightful utter chaos" as she refers to it—fell on her shoulders. At one point, she ended up in the ER with atrial fibrillation, and due to family medical history was kept in the hospital for a few days for tests and monitoring.

"When people came to visit me or called to see how I was, I responded that I was enjoying my time at 'the spa,' and though I missed my family, I was soaking it all in," she tells Upworthy. "My husband understood. Other mothers understood. The medical staff did not know what to make of my cheerful demeanor, but there I was, lying in bed reading and sleeping for four straight days with zero guilt. What a gift for a new mom."

moms, motherhood, mental health, exhaustion, relaxing, relaxation A mom relaxing in a chairImage via Canva

When you have young children, your concept of what's relaxing shifts. I recall almost falling asleep during one of my first dental cleanings after having kids. That chair was so comfy and no one needed anything from me—I didn't even care what they were doing to my teeth. It felt like heaven to lie down and rest without any demands being made of me other than "Open a little wider, please."

Obviously, being hospitalized isn't ideal for a whole host of reasons, but the desire is real. There aren't a lot of simple solutions to the issue of moms needing a real break—not just an hour or two, but a few days—but maybe if society were structured in such a way that we had smaller, more frequent respites and spread the work of parenting across the community, we wouldn't feel as much of a desire to be hospitalized simply to be able to be able to rejuvenate.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Family

A dad's steamy shower door photo represents a sweet recognition of his wife's work

"I literally just sat there and stared at the glass and smiled. I could see it, I imagined it."

A little recognition goes a long way.

Anyone who has been a stay-at-home mom knows that it's not easy. But many people who haven't been one assume that it can't be that hard. What's so difficult about taking care of a baby or a toddler or two? Don't babies basically just lie there? Don't you have all kinds of free time while they nap?

It's hard to describe what it's like to those who haven't experienced the near-constant demands of hands-on, full-time mothering. There's no job description that compares to being a mom. It's wonderful in a million ways, but it's friggin' hard, and it's normal in those early years of staying home with wee ones to feel totally and completely spent by the end of the day.

Many moms lament that their husbands don't seem to understand why they are so exhausted when "all they do" is "just stay home" with the kids all day, which is probably why this dad's photo of a steamy shower door has resonated with so many.

It reads:

"I came home yesterday evening after working 12 hours. I went into the bathroom to get cleaned up and ready for dinner. I noticed my daughter's bassinet in the bathroom.

I asked my wife if she had put her in there, and how she did in it. She said she put her in it as she had showered during the day. We continued to talk about how good she had been and how much she's growing up and so forth.

This morning I came home from the gym and turned the shower on to get cleaned up for work. I turned to the door and saw where my wife wiped away the steam from the glass, so she could see our baby girl in the bassinet.

baby, baby in bassinet, parenting, motherhood, family lifeBabies are adorable, but they take a lot of work.Photo credit: Canva

I literally just sat there and stared at the glass and smiled. I could see it, I imagined it, it was like I was there in the room with them. I could see Heather just looking through the glass and making faces at Lottie as she smiled and played in her bassinet! I just melted!

It's so crazy to me, how the smallest things can make me so appreciative of my wife. It's the little sacrifices my wife makes for this family, that would normally go unnoticed. From caring for our daughter 24/7, to caring for me, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the animals, and taking care of herself (yeah right, there's no time for that.)

It just makes me stop and think.

I work hard. I work long 10-12 hours days, I get tired, I have stressful days and that's my right, as the working member in the household. I have the right to be catered to hand and foot when I get off?!?

All she does is have to take care of a baby.

So, it should be that she cooks, and keeps the house clean, dishes washed, laundry clean and put up, animals tended to... and I'm a man, have I mentioned my needs yet?!?

mom, laundry, stay at home mom, toddler, housworkThe work of a stay at home mom never ends.Photo credit: Canva

I mean seriously, she's at home all day after all!

Mannnnn... I can't tell you how much this fogged up glass means to me!

The fact that my wife can't even shower without caring for someone else; tending to someone else's needs. She doesn't get a second to herself to relax.

My wife doesn't get to clock out, my wife doesn't get the satisfaction of seeing a check deposited in the bank in return for her hard work, my wife doesn't get to eat lunch with coworkers, my wife doesn't get to just walk outside and just take a deep breath.

This may be just a fogged-up piece of glass to some, but to me it means so much more. It's the little things like this that don't go unnoticed. it's the little things like this that constantly remind me how badass she is. it's the little things like this that make me fall in love with her all over again, Heather Williams!

Thank you for being the amazing woman you are... it doesn't go unnoticed!

I love you My Queen. 👑 ❤️"

woman in shower, moms, motherhood, childcare, family lifeShowers can feel like a luxury when you have little ones.Photo credit: Canva

The fact that he saw in this smeared glass the sacrifices his wife makes being home with their baby is wonderful.

Some will say this dad doesn't deserve a cookie simply for seeing his wife, but so many stay-at-moms would love to receive this kind of acknowledgement from their partners.

The reality is when you are taking care of a baby, you are "on" all the time. When the baby is asleep, you might get a chance to do some housework. Or you maybe get to close your eyes for a few moments to try to make up for the lack of sleep you got the night before from the baby waking you up to eat. Sometimes the kiddo won't stop crying and your nerves get fried by noon. Sometimes it's 2:00 in the afternoon, you're covered in breastmilk and spit up, you haven't showered, and you can't figure out where the time has gone. Once your baby is crawling or toddling, you can't take your eyes off them or they might literally die. There's pee and poop and every other bodily fluid you can think of, all day, every day. It's non-stop attention, non-stop need-meeting, non-stop love, but also non-stop work.

And then people ask you what you do all day.

More shower door recognition please, partners. The mother of your children will most definitely appreciate it.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

via Jordan the Stallion/TikTok (used with permission) and State Farm Insurance (used with permission)

Jordan Howlett (aka Jordan the Stallion) in his new role as Chief Gordon.

Jordan Howlett, 27, is known by his 26 million-plus followers on TikTok and Instagram as Jordan the Stallion (a play on singer Megan Thee Stallion). He’s attracted a massive following for his fast food recipes, life hacks, smooth voice, deep research, kind heart, and iconic “come here” camera zoom. Not bad for a guy who shoots most of his work staring into his bathroom mirror.

Now that he’s reached the pinnacle of TikTok popularity, he’s branching out as an actor. Specifically, he's taken a role as Commissioner Gordon in State Farm Insurance's new Batman-inspired commercial. Upworthy talked to Howlett about his new role and how he creates his incredibly popular videos.

The new State Farm commercials feature actor Jason Bateman as “Bateman,” the last person you want at a crime scene when you could have had the real thing, Batman, show up. In the spot's opening, Bateman meets Commissioner Gordon, played by Howlett, who closely resembles Jeffery Wright, who played the role in 2022’s The Batman.

“As I began to fill out, I started to resemble Jeffrey Wright, and I think it was just a perfect pairing. I love the work that Jeffrey does,” he told Upworthy. He also channeled Wright’s gritty performance for the State Farm spot. “My mind immediately went to Jeffrey Wright's version of Commissioner Gordon, where he talked with a grungy whisper.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Even though TikTok videos made him famous, Howlett couldn’t avoid catching the acting bug after this role. “I have been fully immersed and infected with the acting bug,” he told Upworthy. “I'm the embodiment of a fan and a student of acting and film and TV, and I have such tremendous respect for that art. And as much as I love having these opportunities, they’re due to the work I've done in the bathroom. I'm happy that those created these opportunities, and I don’t take them lightly.”

Howlett felt the “aura” surrounding his co-star Jason Bateman and tried to define that type of rare charisma. “I think it stems from people feeling as though they're represented by that person on screen,” he said. “If you watch people that you really admire, it’s like they speak to you in a certain way, right? Their art embodies something that really speaks to me. It's almost surreal because it's like you feel you know them on a molecular level.”

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In his videos, Howlett just tries to be himself. “It really is me,” he shared. “I don't have the bandwidth to try to put a mask on in any way. It really just is authentically myself. And I'm just happy that people can relate to that.” He also works quickly so that his videos feel natural. He records most of them in one take, but spontaneity has drawbacks. “The one downside is, after you posted, you think, like, ‘Oh, would have been funny if I said this.’ But, sorry, it’s too late because I was just doing it one time,” he said. That authenticity comes from a life where he has battled homelessness and depression and started a new life after being a Division 1 college baseball player.

Because of his ability to overcome his struggles, Jordan is seen as a role model or big-brother figure by some of his Gen Z followers. It’s a big responsibility that he takes seriously. ”I feel like there's a responsibility to people who see me in that way, to make sure that I do the best I possibly can to make them proud,” he told Upworthy. “I don't tell people to do something or use something that I wouldn't do or use myself, and make sure that I stay true to who I am and continue to do that out of respect for them. I'm honored.”