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These tongue-in-cheek 'teenager pro tips' are hilariously and painfully spot on

These tongue-in-cheek 'teenager pro tips' are hilariously and painfully spot on
Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash, Teenager Pro Tips/Facebook

Anyone who has raised a human being to (or near) adulthood knows that the teens years are all kinds of special. On the one hand, teens can be funny, smart, thoughtful, and caring. On the other hand, they also do things that make you scratch your head or bang it against the wall, depending on how bafflingly boneheaded they are.

There's a reason that legal adulthood doesn't start before 18. When research confirms the human brain isn't fully developed until age 25, the only appropriate, informed response is, "Yeah, that tracks." Because as delightful and fun as they can be, teens do things that simply don't make sense.

What's weird, though, is that enough teens do the same nonsensical things that it almost seems as if they're following a playbook of some sort. It feels like a big conspiracy, like every teenager in America is part of some super-secret TikTok group planning out shenanigans to annoy their parents.

That feeling is why the Facebook page Teenager Pro Tips is so. dang. funny. It shares tips for teen living that are so spot on it's spooky. Check this out:

"9pm is the proper time to request supplies for tomorrow's school project."

Or 10pm, if you're an overachiever.

"Where to put wrappers. Candy: IN the sofa. Bandaid: ON the counter."

I mean, where else would you put them?

"Find a chair that others use a lot. Put stuff on it."

It's a service. It'll save the chair wear and tear.

"After drinking water from a cup, drink more water from a different cup."

Again, the wear and tear thing. And someone's going to clean all those glasses anyway, so who cares, right?

"When the ice cube tray is empty store it in the freezer."

It's an ice cube tray. That's where it goes. Duh.

"Beg for a box of expensive protein bars. At the first bite decide you hate them."

And definitely leave the once-bitten bar on the counter as a warning to others.

"Leave a half swallow of milk in the container. Put it back in the fridge. Say, 'It's not empty.'"

I mean, that's technically and literally true. Teens are truth tellers.

"When asked to go get a sibling, don't go. Instead, stand next to the person who asked and scream your sibling's name."

Just doing what they're told.

"Tidy your room by putting clean clothes in the wash."

When the clean clothes get thrown on the floor, are they still clean? These are the philosophical questions that keep teens up at night.

"Prepare socks for the laundry by rolling them up tightly. Occasionally add sand."

Where oh where does all the sand come from? We don't even live near a beach.

"When the dishwasher is empty put your dirty dishes in the sink."

You mean there's not a dish fairy that magically transfers the dishes from the sink into the dishwasher? Whuh?

"Load ice cubes in your hydro flask with 60% accuracy."

And make sure you leave the 40% you missed to melt on the floor. Speaking of which...

"The water you accidentally spilled makes the floor slippery. Quickly exit to safety."

Safety first! Always!

"If you scrunch up a towel correctly you can make it stay wet f.o.r.e.v.e.r."

Forever and ever and evvverrrrrr.

"The proper way to hang a towel is not to."

Just reiterating the f.o.r.e.v.e.r part.

"Set many early morning alarms 5 minutes apart. Get up some time after the last one."

It's all about waking up gradually, you see.

"Moments before it's time to go yell WHERE'S MY SHIRT!"

It's all about not getting ready gradually, you see.

"When reminded to do something say 'I did' until proven otherwise.

A claim without evidence is merely an opinion, Mom.

"Your bathroom counter should look like a chemistry lab."

Including the aftermath of many experiments.

"Leave 2 squares of toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll."

Can't change it if it's not empty. Them's the rules.

"Sparkling water drinks are like chores. They should never be finished."

#HalfEmptyDrinks4Life

"When the trash is full, put more trash on it."

Doesn't count as full until you can't balance anything on top anymore. Duh.

Clearly whoever runs this page has or has had teenagers of their own because every single one of these is on the nose. (Follow Teenager Pro Tips on Facebook for more hilarity and solidarity.)


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Culture

Dad’s 5-year-old daughter's hilarious answers to his questions have the internet screaming

“Do I have to change my name if I get married? Call me Shredder.”

via James Breakwell / Twitter

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way. Comedy writer James Breakwell has four daughters under the age of eight and shares their hilarious conversations on Twitter. And, from Breakwell's tweets, it looks like his five year old has a future in comedy. Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.


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His 5-year-old isn't the only (often unintentionally) hilarious child in the house; the 7-year-old and 3-year-old turn up from time to time. There's also a 2-year-old, but she hasn't been the subject of many tweets yet.


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This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Joy

Proud owners of this dog breed quickly call out a trainer who dubbed it a 'terrible choice'

The trainer thought these dogs were "frenzied lunatics." Others heartily disagreed.

Photo credit: Canva

Are Springer Spaniels really "frenzied lunatics?"

Will Atherton, an England based Clinical Canine Behaviourist (MSc), recently dubbed the Springer Spaniel a “terrible choice” of dog breed for most people. In a video posted to his TikTok, Atherton explained that while many people get them because they “look awesome” and “match a barber jacket which makes it cool for Instagram pictures,” they aren’t taking into account what Springer Spaniel were bred for—hunting.

These dogs, Atherton notes, are bred to “work non-stop like frenzied lunatics,” rather than sit on the “sofa and chill.” Since the latter is so “rarely achievable” with Springer Spaniels (since they “don’t have an off-switch”) Atherton sees so many of them being sent to his center for “problem behaviors.”

However, an overwhelming amount of Springer Spaniel owners were quick to disagree.


@iamwillatherton Let’s talk about the honest truth behind Spaniels shall we... p.s. before you comment I know there are some that are chill but they’re the outliers and congratulations you got lucky! And remember, I’m honest about these things because I want people to be happy with their dogs and I see SO many that aren’t with their Spaniel because their Spaniel was a terrible choice for them because they can’t train it well. #springerspaniel #springer #spaniel #englishspringerspaniel #cockerspaniel #dogtraining #dogtrainer #dogtrainingtips #dogtrainingadvice #dogbreeds ♬ original sound - Will Atherton (MSc)


“My springer is probably the laziest dog I’ve ever seen.”

“My springer just sleeps most of the time.”

“Mine is either running around like a lunatic or sleeping and chilling, just two extremes it’s great.”

“My springer must be a bit dodgy because you’ll never meet a dog who wants nothing more than [to] cuddle. Yes when he’s out he’s a lunatic but as soon as he’s home all he wants is sleep and hugs, love them.”

“I must be lucky my Springer [is] both brilliant outside and chilled outside.”

“We had a Springer Spaniel when I was growing up. Yes he was very active but he was also very friendly and good around kids. I loved that dog.”

Photo credit: Canva

While the American Kennel Club does echo Atherton’s sentiment that Springer Spaniels are built for “long days in the field,” the site notes that they are also “highly trainable people-pleasers,” in addition to being highly affectionate, good with both children and other dogs. The AKC also recommends adding enrichment activities that require not only physical exercise, but mental exercise as well. Otherwise they’ll find their own projects, “and they probably won't be the kind of projects you'd like.”

And while everyone might not agree with Atherton’s point of view, it does provide a great reminder of the importance of researching dog breeds before you buy one. Studies have shown that certain behaviors are indeed passed down through lineages (this goes double for purebreds). And those natural behaviors might not align with a person’s lifestyle, making a satisfying situation for both dog and human.

Still, other research indicates that environment plays a much bigger role in a dog’s personality. So providing things like training and/or socialization from an early age can help things mesh better.

Bottom line: Dogs are individuals, with their own personalities. Not carbon copies. However, in order to give them the best possible life (which is what every dog owner wants to do, right?), one should probably know about a dog’s breed before purchasing.

media0.giphy.com

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Family

Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Parenting

How often should you bathe your kids? Experts say when they're visibly dirty.

This parenting debate probably goes back generations but we have the answer.

Photo credit: Canva

Bathing kids only when they're visibly dirty is expert advice

When it comes to bathing children there doesn't seem to be a universal consensus among parents, who are generally the ones doing the bathing. Some people feel strongly that children starting from infancy should be bathed daily while others are fine with a couple of baths a month. There are even some parents that skip baths for their kids for the entire summer because they rely on swimming pools and other water play to do the job.

Some grandmother somewhere just audibly gasped at the thought of swimming in a pool counting as bathing. But in reality, people really just try to do what they think is best for their kids or what makes the most sense to them, though some parents may need to put down the soap. Specifically the parents who are bathing little ones daily or multiple times a day, because experts say that's entirely too much for young humans.

A couple of years ago a few famous celebrity couples made headlines for openly admitting that they don't bathe their children often. In fact, Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher extended that revelation to include that they don't bathe themselves often either. The couple waits until they visibly see dirt, while their pals Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell admit to only washing their kids if the catch a whiff of something funky.

How Did I Get Here Baby GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy

In an episode of the "Him & Her Show," Veronica Max, a holistic Nurse Practitioner shares that she does not dictate her kids' bath schedule. She explains to the hosts that her four children might bathe once a week, admitting that in the summer it's even less.

"If it's once a week? You know, like now they sw...so they swim. We have a pool and they swim in the summer so I guess we call that bathing so it's probably even less than that," Max admits.


@thehimandhershow Is it crazy to only bathe your child once a WEEK?! 🛁 🤔 (Ep with Veronica Max 🤍) #childcare #momlife #motherhoodunfiltered #parenting #delayedbathing ♬ original sound - HIM & HER Show - thehimandhershow

Another mom shares that once her children starts going out side of the home to be around other children like at daycare or school, that's when they need to bathe every day. Bathing daily is one of her house rules and her explanation may make sense to others that have similar concerns.

"I just can't imaging them running around recess, sitting on the floor at school, rubbing each other with their classmates, sitting on the bus...the school bus, with their jeans and they just come right home and just lounge on their bed and go to bed overnight, wake up the next morning and come down and eat breakfast with me. I just cannot imagine that would happen, ever.


@fine_lvoe #stitch with @halliemkc #momlife #parentlife #parenting #parentingtips ♬ original sound - fine_lvoe

Every parent is different but according to Harvard Health kids only need to bathe once to three times a week. Any more than that and it can cause skin issues, "Lots of bathing can lead to dry, irritated skin. But also, the skin has natural protective oils, and natural bacteria, that help to keep us healthy and safe — and that can get washed away with daily bathing."

There are exceptions such as visible dirt, the use of bug sprays, sun screen or being in a pool with chlorine. Otherwise, they say it's perfectly fine to only bathe children infrequently during the week, though they point out that this doesn't go for teens and the gnarly smells they can emit.

Season 3 Smell GIF by Nanalan'Giphy

While dermatologist, Joan Tamburro, DO, tells the Cleveland Clinic children under the age of six should spend time in the bath tub two to three times per week max, but 2-3 times a week at a minimum for children 6-11 year old. But Dr. Tamburro advises against using pool days as bath days saying, "It’s important to bathe or shower after swimming in a pool, lake or ocean."

So there you have it, parents. Kids under the age of 13 don't need to bathe daily but they may need to wash more than once a week if they're sweaty, visibly dirty or covered with chemicals from chlorine, sunscreen or bug spray. Harvard also says using wet wipes between baths on the important bits and visibly soiled areas also work in between bath days.

Turns out the parents who were against daily bathing were closer to the opinion of experts than not.

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Science

Scientists at Hebrew University may have found a way to predict earthquakes

Researchers discover the slow, silent process that ignites earthquakes

Photo credit: Canva

Scientists are getting a better understanding on how and when earthquakes occur.

One of the biggest challenges regarding earthquakes is preparation. Aside from recognizing where faultlines lay and determining which areas are the most prone to earthquakes and earthquake damage, there is very little we can do to prepare for the next “big one.” Earthquakes can occur at any time and happen with little to no warning, at least not enough warning for people to seek safety before they hit. Scientists at Hebrew University in Israel may have found a way for us to predict earthquakes in the future.

Through a study done in Israel, Prof. Jay Fineberg and his team of researchers at the Racah Institute of Physics at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem possibly found the causes that lead up to shaking tremors. Through experiments and theoretical models, they theorize that a fault’s geometry along with slow and steady displacement at certain stress points in the Earth’s crust typically precede a seismic rupture that leads to earthquakes.

Richter scaleThis new study could lead into better preparation for earthquakes.Photo credit: Canva

Tremors occur when cracks in the Earth’s crust suddenly give way, and previous studies have shown that slow movements do precede the formation of these cracks. Yet until now, the data of these processes has been relying on two-dimensional generalizations rather than practical or theoretical three-dimensional studies. Fineberg’s team looked into how slow, aseismic stress came into play within earthquake activity, how that stress evolves and nucleates into a budding and sudden tremor.

“Our findings challenge and refine conventional models of rupture dynamics," said Fineberg in a press release. "We show that slow, aseismic processes are a prerequisite for seismic rupture, driven by localized stress and geometric constraints. This has profound implications for understanding when and how earthquakes begin.”

A torn down house and rubble from an earthquakeBeing able to predict an earthquake could help prevent further injuries.Photo credit: Canva

Further testing needs to be made in order to further confirm Fineberg and his team’s conclusions, however this leads to a greater understanding into how earthquakes happen and identify new focal points. Should these solid theories become reality, it could lead to better warnings of earthquakes before they start, leading to better systems to inform the public so they can better prepare before the tremor fully hits.

Meanwhile, if you live near or in an area prone to earthquakes, it’s best to be prepared for the worst. According to experts at the U.S. Geological Survey, if you are caught in the middle of an earthquake, take cover under a heavy desk or table, away from any windows or top-heavy furniture. Stay in place, as most people injured inside a building during an earthquake are those trying to move to a different building or leave their current position. Ready.gov recommends packing an earthquake kit with clothes, water, medication, a first aid kit, a hand-crank flashlight, batteries, cell phone charger, and other such items at the ready in your home or car case you need to leave. There are also apps like MyShake that could give you alerts and other information about earthquakes around your area through your mobile phone, too.

A man and a woman taking shelter under a wooden tableIf you're experiencing an earthquake, hide under a table away from any windows.Photo credit: Canva

It takes time and study to learn how the world around us works, which can take years if not lifetimes before we fully understand it. Even when we get better understanding, it might only provide more prep time for emergencies. Regardless of how much more understanding we obtain about earthquakes, there will always be the need to prepare and to be ready, for ourselves and for our neighbors.

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