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People are helping introverts by sharing their go-to 'small talk' topics

Here are 14 great ideas.

introverts, small talk, conversation starters
via Pexels

People chatting at a party.

A lot of people feel uncomfortable starting up conversations with strangers in social settings. It’s not that they don’t want to meet people, they’re just not sure what to say.

There's an art to small talk and some people are incredibly at ease starting up a conversation and coming up with things to say. They know how to get things moving without being obvious and seem to do this effortlessly.

A Reddit user named Blugged Bunny asked the online forum “What is your go-to 'small talk' topic with strangers?” and although the question may not have intentionally been to help introverts, there were a lot of great suggestions for people who are uncomfortable making small talk.

It seems the best ideas are questions and statements that are about the current setting and situation. The truly great small talk artists know that the best way into a conversation is to allow the other person to talk about themselves.

It’s also helpful to bring up topics that everyone can speak to whether that’s family, pets, weather, sports or articles of clothing. I once knew a guy who was single and whenever he went out he wore a “Livestrong” bracelet that he got from Lance Armstrong’s cancer charity. He told me that it “Gives women an easy conversation-starter if they want to talk to me. They’ll ask, 'Why are you wearing that? Isn’t Lance Armstrong, a cheater?'" That would begin a great debate over whether Armstrong was such a bad guy, after all he’s done for people with cancer.

Here are 14 of the best go-to small talk topics from the Reddit thread.

1. 

"Make an observation. Literally anything. It helps if it’s something about them like an article of clothing that catches your eye, something they’re doing, anything that you can relate to or are interested in but it doesn’t have to be. It can be something in the environment that is drawing both of your attention. People bullshit about the weather all the time. Once you’ve got something to work with, the key is to ask. ... Let them do the talking. People love talking about themselves. You learn some light-hearted things about the stranger, they feel more comfortable, and you can add bits and bobs of your own experiences in response so they get to know you too. It works in literally any situation. From an elevator ride to a first date. It’s so easy to personalize small talk and it makes it so much less uncomfortable." — arrocknroll.

2. 

"Have you ever tried Ayahuasca?" — KarmicBreath

This comment kicked off a funny response from Sinsaraly:

"Love this. My friend once spent a few hours in a car with poet Allen Ginsberg. The very first thing he said to her was “what drugs do you do?”

3. 

"The weather is a good one. everyone shares it. I'm a guy and i do not give one shit about professional sports or cars and it's like a social disability." — Mr_Mojo_Risin

4. 

Hobbies. "Pretty much everyone has something they're either super passionate about or really rather good at, so a conversation about hobbies pretty much always moves from 'small talk' to 'genuine interest' pretty damn fast." — Trashpanda692

5.

"Something in our environment that we can both relate to. You have to make it easy for them to give a response. Mild humour usually works as it is light-hearted and unthreatening." — ScallywagsTV2

6.

"Usually people love to talk about themselves, so a few questions about them and some follow up questions to their answers usually does it." — I_Can_See_The_Music

7.

"I try to think of random things. Like a favorite animal or star, talking about something in the room. Usually is stupid dad jokes." — UncreativeGlory

8. 

"I try to come up with questions regarding the situations we are in. Like, 'Hey you know any good place around here to get a decent meal?"' — Chromerix

9. 

"Food. People typically love food. I mention I’m new/newer to an area. And ask them what they like, where they eat out. Usually works and people have their choices validated and I always know where to find good local snacks." — TheProfWife

10. 

"If it’s a woman, I’d compliment them on something I like (bag/shoes/makeup/a book they’re reading) and then try to find common ground for there. For men, I’d try something neutral so it doesn’t seem like I’m trying to hit on them. Perhaps weekend plans, work etc." — llovejoy1234

11. 


"Biggest animal you think you could take in a fight." — RizziJoy

12. 

​"I usually bring up home renovations. Especially if the small talk confined us to a space for quite some time. Like a wedding, business conference etc. I can always find people who are not only working on different parts of their homes, but enjoy talking about them. Learned a thing or two along the line as well!" — Calm-Ad

13. 

"Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?" — HowToDoNot

14. 

"F.O.R.D. Family/Occupation/Recreation/Dreams

Family: Do they have kids? If so, people love to talk about their kids. How many, what ages, what grades are they in in school? If they are older (High School/College) what are they studying? Do they play sports/music? If family is not a comfortable subject (you don't feel like asking about spouse and kids and such) then move on to Occupation
Occupation: What do they do for a living? How long? Do they like it? Did they go to school for it? How did they get into it?
Recreation: What do they like to do in their free time? Hobbies? What sports do they like to watch? Do they play any sports? Do they do anything active? Do they do anything artistic or musical?

Dreams: What are they currently looking forward to in life? Is there a big vacation coming up? Are the kids graduating from School? Are they training for a major athletic event (marathon or some other competition)?

This is usually my go-to when making small talk and it's usually enough to get me to some sort of common ground that our conversation can build off organically." — khamylion


This article originally appeared on 5.5.22

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Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Teachers

Former teacher shares the funny 'secret code' she used when talking to parents

“Your son is going to make a great lawyer" is code for: "Your kid won’t stop arguing with me."

Photo by Centre for Ageing Better on Unsplash

Sometimes a secret code is a gentler approach.

There are many things that teachers think but cannot say aloud. Teachers have to have a certain sense of decorum and often have strict rules about how they speak about their students, especially to their parents.

Plus, it’s a teacher’s job to educate, not judge. So, they find ways to kindly and sincerely say what’s on their minds without having to resort to name-calling or telling the (sometimes disparaging) truth about a student.


Jess Smith is a former teacher who goes by the moniker Miss Smith as a stand-up comedian and on her podcast, Hot Mess Teacher Express. She decided to have a little fun with euphemisms, or the “secret code” she had to use when speaking to parents about their children.

The video went viral on TikTok after being shared by the Bored Teachers page.

@bored_teachers

Have you used our secret Teacher Code when talking with parents?? 🤫 #teachersoftiktok #teacherlife #secret #teacher #parents

"We have a code when we email parents," Smith said in her video. "When we use phrases like, ‘Your child is very social,’ that means they won’t stop talking," she explained. “'Their excitement in the classroom is contagious,' translates to 'They will not calm down,'" Smith said, adding that a "natural born leader" is a polite way of saying "super bossy."

The post struck a chord with parents and teachers who shared secret codes they’ve heard or used.

“My son’s pre-k teacher told me he was the most scientific kid she’s ever had, she prob meant he asks a million questions allll day long," TinaMarie wrote. “In kindergarten, I got ‘is overly helpful’ when my parents asked the teacher said I was finishing my test and giving answers out so we could play,” Tallulahthegreat added.

“When I first started teaching, I was told to tell parents their child is ‘spirited’ if they never stop talking and can’t sit still," Allie commented.

“‘Your son is going to make a great lawyer,’ which is code for: your kid won’t stop arguing with me," C added.

However, the post wasn’t a hit with everyone. Some believe teachers should speak to parents in a straightforward manner and avoid using euphemisms.

“As a parent. I would rather a teacher just tell me, instead of using codes. We know our kids. We live with them and you have them for 8 hours," happily_married wrote in the comments.

“It’s time to start saying it like it is. Why are we so afraid of laying the truth on the line?" QYMSC added.

In an interview with the TODAY show, Smith assured everyone that when she was a teacher, she had no problem being straightforward when necessary. “If a serious conversation needed to happen, I didn’t sugarcoat it,” Smith said. But the code was a way for her to share difficult information politely, in a non-confrontational way.

“Connecting with the parents was always important to me, and I never wanted them to feel like, ’This is your problem to take care of.’ No, this is something we can work on together. I’m here to help your kid,” Smith said. “I found that parents just responded better to the code.”


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Joy

They've been in love since the fifth grade. What better place to propose than where it all began?

It's like a real life rom-com!

Facebook

"It was always you."

We don’t often meet the love of our life in fifth grade. But for Simon Jenkins and Peyton Wynn, romantic destiny struck early.

At the ripe old age of 11 years old, Simon and Peyton met at Johnson Elementary School in Pinson, Alabama, where they sat together in Patti Hathorn’s class. Their relationship continued to grow with each passing year, lasting even after graduation. Ten years later Simon and Peyton both turned 21, and they're still each other’s special someone.

boy and girl in swimsuits A photo of Peyton and Simon, already in love.scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

Fitting, then, that 10 years later, Simon and Peyton would celebrate their enduring love by getting engaged where it all began.

WVTM 13 anchor Rick Karle shared that Simon's mother Traci, “an event planner with a flair for the artistic,” suggested the nostalgic setting for his 2022 proposal. Getting Simon’s approval, she quickly laid out handcrafted signs, flowers and candles, making everything look extra special for the sweet moment.

A couple at their proposal

Who knew a classroom could be so romantic?

scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net

The next part of the surprise would be entirely up to Simon. He told WVTM that the ruse had been getting a call from Traci as the couple made their way to a dinner date in celebration of their 10-year anniversary. She had “forgotten something at her PTA meeting at Johnson Elementary School,” and pleaded for them to go retrieve it. Nice one, mom.

Simon and Peyton made their way to the elementary school and found themselves in the lavish display. “You should have seen Peyton’s face when she walked into that classroom,” Simon told WVTM.

Judging by the photos alone, the proposal seemed to be something out of a Hallmark movie.

Couple get engaged in classroom

Spoiler alert: She said yes

scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

For Peyton, it was the surprise of a lifetime. “I finally got to say yes to the love of my life. It was like something out of a dream,” the bride-to-be told People.

To make the moment that much sweeter, their fifth grade teacher was also there. How’s that for a satisfying full circle moment?

Patti Hathorn (now Patti Armstrong Hagwood) made her own endearing Facebook post, which read:

“For any teacher that is asked or wonders ‘Why we do what we do’. My response is this: We get to watch more than just academic growth in our classrooms. We watch laughter. We watch friendships blossom and grow. We watch as these relationships continue to develop, and often we get to witness them last a lifetime. And, in some instances, we are privileged to be a part of this continuance…It was such an honor to be asked to be present as Simon Jenkins proposed to his 5th grade love. It is another moment that reminds me of my ‘why’ as I continue to love ‘my’ children each year.”

couple celebrating their engagement

I'm not crying, you're crying!

scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

Hagwood continues to teach and welcomed another class that Fall. Coincidentally, that’s when Peyton and Simon will officially tied the knot, according to People.

Congratulations to the happy couple who gave us all a wholesome love story to smile about today. I guess the adage is true: when you know, you know.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Chocolate lab is not in the mood for pets and his reaction is leaving people in stitches

The way he looks her dead in the eye while turning down her affection…

Morgyn Seigfried|TikTok

Dog turns down his owner's pets and the internet is laughing.

Sometimes we're not in the mood to be touched, and the same goes for our pets. While cats are notorious for snubbing humans who dare to touch them without explicit affirmative consent for exactly 3.5 pets, dogs are different. Dogs like to get head scratches, butt pats, and, for some reason, slapped on the ribs somewhat aggressively. I don't know why dog owners do the last one but I've seen it enough to think it's a thing that dogs enjoy.

The point is dogs generally want you to pet them as often as you possibly can, even until it feels like your arms are going to fall off and then some. They try to climb up on your lap because being as close to your cornea as their snouts will allow is comforting to them. But apparently, dogs also get into moods where they don't want to be touched by their humans.

Case in point? Colby, a chocolate lab on TikTok who is simply not in the mood for pets. His reaction to his owner attempting to pet him has commenters in stitches.

Colby looks as if he's trying to relax when you see his mom's hand reach out to pet him. He doesn't break eye contact with his human, Morgyn Seigfried, as he gently pushes her hand away with his back foot. She tries several times, and each time Colby has the same response.

"Let's not make this more embarrassing than it has to be," one commenter wrote.

"He said pet me...WITH YOUR EYES," another person said.

While some were imagining what the dog was saying internally, others just found it hilarious, especially because he uses his hind leg to reject the affection.

"Such a boss move to use the back leg and not the front paw," someone wrote, complete with a crying laughing emoji.

"The fact that he used his rear leg makes the exchange even better," another commenter said.

Colby is clearly over Seigfried's need to touch him, as you can see for yourself below:

@morgynseigfried

looking me dead in the eye too 🥲 #dogsoftiktok #dogs #dogvideos #labsoftiktok #chocolatelab #labrador #dogsoftiktokviral #doglover #doglovers


Sadly, this wasn't the last time Colby curved his owner. Watch below to see him refuse her kisses just a few months after he pushed her away.

@morgynseigfried

humiliating truly #dogs #dogsoftiktok #labrador #labradorretriever #doglover

Don't worry, we're sure Colby loves his human. Sometimes, we need some alone time and while that might hurt a few egos, it's nothing personal.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Mom of three becomes 'accidental' American Idol contestant after nailing her audition

People are calling Sara Beth a relatable breath of fresh air and the show's new "hidden gem."

American Idol/YouTube

Sara Beth auditioning for "American Idol"

High-level talent competition shows have been around for a long time. And from them, we’ve come to expect spectacular performances from trained artists completely dedicated to their craft. While that’s remarkable to watch, sometimes it’s just as inspiring to witness average folks doing something they love.

Take it from Sara Beth, a mother of three recently dubbed the “Accidental American Idol.”

First of all, Sara Beth is filled to the brim with quirky charm and does nothing to try to hide her nervousness. Judge Katy Perry accurately described her as a “comic strip character brought to life.” In a sea of ultra confident divas it’s refreshing, to say the least.

Second, as a 25-year-old who married and started a family young, Sara Beth admitted that she had been focused on being there for her kids and only recently began pursuing music. Or as she called it, having “a minute for me.”

So when asked if singing was her dream, Sara Beth was hesitant.

“I’m still processing…I can’t even answer. This is so much,” she confessed.

That answer didn’t impress judges Lionel Richie and Katy Perry, but it certainly resonated with views in the crowd and at home—parents in particular.

“As a mother of two young boys I can easily relate to this not being her dream yet,” one mom wrote. “She has spent years pouring into others and taking it day by day and she just recently pulled her head out of water and remembered that she is a person with talents and hobbies and interests outside of being a mom...she doesn't even have the mental capacity for [American Idol] to be a dream yet but she took a huge bet on herself.”

Despite Sara Beth not fitting the usual parameters for an American Idol, there was no denying her incredible voice once she started singing.

Watch:

Sara Beth might have moved forward with only two out of three yes votes, but let’s just say her audience approval rate was pretty damn unanimous.

“Sara Beth is wonderfully herself and a breath of fresh air, judges are faced with a woman who is open with no filters of fear. I think she's amazing.”

“I think she IS the hidden gem in this competition. She could definitely win.”

“I won't be surprised if she wins this whole thing.”

Just take it from the “Accidental American Idol:" It’s okay to be unsure…and go for the thing anyway.

Soon after she shook things up in her American Idol audition, Sara Beth shocked everyone by leaving the show early to be with her children, and also citing discomfort after Katy Perry made a "Mom-Shaming" joke. Luckily for us, her exit from American Idol was not her exit from music. Sara Beth is still active and posting original songs on her TikTok and Instagram, and you can stream her music on Spotify.


https://www.instagram.com/p/DElIB4fT_PI/

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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