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A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM UPWORTHY
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Mental Health

We are being lured by the siren song of cynicism. We have to choose a different route.

We are being lured by the siren song of cynicism. We have to choose a different route.
Photo by Inu Etc on Unsplash

We can't let ourselves be lured by the siren song of cynicism.

"Why do people have to suck so badly?" my teen asks me after watching a viral video of horrible human behavior.

I understand the sentiment. I really do. I've asked myself the same question many times in recent years. Why are people like this? What is wrong with people? How can people be so stupid/cruel/selfish/ignorant/etc. And every time I have to pause, reflect and recognize what I'm hearing.

It's the siren song of cynicism. That strangely alluring voice that lulls us into a negative state of complacency at best and abject nihilism at worst.

I see—and feel in myself—cynicism as a natural, reactionary response to the ugly realities of our world, but also to our current digital climate. So much of the discouse we consume is filtered through social media algorithms that reward undernuanced hot takes and keep the cycle of negative sensationalism churning. The bad stuff gets our attention, which prompts people to talk about the bad stuff, which triggers algorithms that push more of the bad stuff, which creates a feedback loop informing us that everything is terrible.


Cynicism seduces us because it's easy. It doesn't actually feel good, but it feels comfortable because it doesn't ask anything from us. Hardened cynics sometimes see themselves as the intellectually honest among us, having real insight into people and problems, but it's simply not true. Cynicism requires no deep digging, real reflection or soul searching. It's the easiest thing in the world to call the world a dumpster fire, toss up our hands and say, "Welp, everything and everyone sucks, so what's the point?"

Hope, on the other hand, is hard. It requires going beyond our impulsive reactions to headlines and soundbites and to enage with humanity holistically. Far from being some kind of unthinking, Pollyanna-ish, head-in-the-sand idealism, I see hope as the natural outcome of truly diving into the reality of human existence.

But how do we get there? How do we ignore the pull of cynicism and navigate toward hope instead?

First, we can look to the past to see how far we have actually come.

I was watching the Olympics the other night and marveling at what human beings have figured out how to do. We started off rubbing sticks together to make fire. Now we have people who can artistically dance around on ice, spin multiple times through the air with the utmost perfection and precision, and land on one foot on a 1/8-inch blade. Not only that, but they do it to beautiful music that humans have composed, with musical instruments humans created, recorded on technological equipment that humans invented.

Not only was I watching this marvel happen, but I was doing so all the way on the other side of the planet, in the comfort of my home, where hot air blows out of the walls, clean water pours out of the refrigerator that keeps our food cold and lights turn on and off with the flick of a finger.

And that's just the basic, everyday life stuff we've figured out. Thinking of all of the ways humans continue to advance and progress is mind-boggling.

Sure, we still separate ourselves into artificial groups and fight over stupid things, but we also have created global organizations that collaborate to do incredible work to solve problems. Yes, our advancements have caused an imbalance in our relationship to the planet, but we also have developed the science to understand and begin to mitigate those impacts. Indeed, people can still be bafflingly ignorant or closed-minded, but we have access to everything that humans have ever learned available at our fingertips. That's incredible.

Our material progress may have outpaced our collective spiritual progress, and our political will to enact workable solutions might be a mess, but there's no reason to believe we won't figure those things out too. Look at all that we've been through and what we've accomplished. We are far more capable than we give ourselves credit for, in all areas.

Second, we can choose the filters with which we view the present.

When we look at the challenges we face and the difficulties in meeting those challenges, do we see a sign that humans are inept or a sign that we're trying to figure things out? Learning and problem-solving are messy, nonlinear processes. Sometimes progress is two steps forward, one step back. Growth involves growing pains, especially when we're actually growing the fastest. Building something new often requires tearing down something old first, and destruction feels like destruction even when it's necessary.

There's also the simple truth that we find what we look for. If we look for what is bad, wrong and unjust in the world, we'll find it. That stuff is there, no question. And some of it definitely needs our attention; ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away. But focusing on the negative all the time is a choice—one that doesn't serve anyone well.

I could easily spend an entire day finding examples of how people are awful, how it seems like we're going backward in some ways, how society is totally messed up and how the future is doomed. (Just spend the day on Twitter. It's all there.) If my goal were to justify a cynical outlook on humanity, I could easily do so.

But I could also spend an entire day finding examples of how humans are amazing, how people come together to help one another, how organizations are solving problems and providing for people's needs, how progress is being made in all fields of human endeavor. If my goal were to justify a hopeful vision for humanity, I could easily do that as well.

Each of those scenarios is a choice. Which day seems like it would lead to a better outcome, either for me personally or for the world at large?

The negative, cynical stuff is constantly in our faces because of how media and social media work, but the positive, constructive stuff is all around us. We need to balance positivity with addressing real problems, but when we put more focus and energy into supporting and amplifying the things we want to see than the things we don't, we steer our ship toward hope.

Finally, we can remember that the future is still unwritten.

One of the hallmarks of cynicism is the sense that nothing changes, that we're going to be stuck in the same stupidity of our own making forever. But none of us has a crystal ball. We don't know what the future holds and how humanity will change through the inevitable ups and downs on the horizon. We couldn't have predicted we'd be here now three years ago, and we don't know what things will look like three years from now.

We can choose to envision a dystopian future—there are plenty of books and movies we can use for inspiration if that's what we want to do. Or we can choose to envision something better or greater than what we have now. Neither is guaranteed in any way, so we do have a choice in the matter.

Any psychologist will tell you that visualization can be a powerful and transformative tool. Just as we see what we look for in the present, we are more likely to create what we envision for the future. That's not to say that we can control everything, but we can decide what direction we try to encourage humanity to go with our lives. When we look forward to a future in which humanity and our planetary home thrive and flourish, we're much more likely to seek out ways to move us in that direction.

Hope is a choice we make daily, in our thoughts and in our actions. Cynicism can sing to us all it wants, but we will hold the wheel steady, look for the light on the horizon and steer that direction instead.

Science

Researchers dumped tons of coffee waste into a forest. This is what it looks like now.

30 dump truck loads and two years later, the forest looks totally different.

One of the biggest problems with coffee production is that it generates an incredible amount of waste. Once coffee beans are separated from cherries, about 45% of the entire biomass is discarded.

So for every pound of roasted coffee we enjoy, an equivalent amount of coffee pulp is discarded into massive landfills across the globe. That means that approximately 10 million tons of coffee pulp is discarded into the environment every year.



When disposed of improperly, the waste can cause serious damage soil and water sources.

However, a new study published in the British Ecological Society journal Ecological Solutions and Evidence has found that coffee pulp isn't just a nuisance to be discarded. It can have an incredibly positive impact on regrowing deforested areas of the planet.

via British Ecological Society

In 2018, researchers from ETH-Zurich and the University of Hawaii spread 30 dump trucks worth of coffee pulp over a roughly 100' x 130' area of degraded land in Costa Rica. The experiment took place on a former coffee farm that underwent rapid deforestation in the 1950s.

The coffee pulp was spread three-feet thick over the entire area.

Another plot of land near the coffee pulp dump was left alone to act as a control for the experiment.

"The results were dramatic." Dr. Rebecca Cole, lead author of the study, said. "The area treated with a thick layer of coffee pulp turned into a small forest in only two years while the control plot remained dominated by non-native pasture grasses."

In just two years, the area treated with coffee pulp had an 80% canopy cover, compared to just 20% of the control area. So, the coffee-pulp-treated area grew four times more rapidly. Like a jolt of caffeine, it reinvigorated biological activity in the area.

The canopy was also four times taller than that of the control.

Before and after images of the forest

The forest experienced a radical, positive change

via British Ecological Society

The coffee-treated area also eliminated an invasive species of grass that took over the land and prevented forest succession. Its elimination allowed for other native species to take over and recolonize the area.

"This case study suggests that agricultural by-products can be used to speed up forest recovery on degraded tropical lands. In situations where processing these by-products incurs a cost to agricultural industries, using them for restoration to meet global reforestation objectives can represent a 'win-win' scenario," Dr. Cole said.

If the results are repeatable it's a win-win for coffee drinkers and the environment.

Researchers believe that coffee treatments can be a cost-effective way to reforest degraded land. They may also work to reverse the effects of climate change by supporting the growth of forests across the globe.

The 2016 Paris Agreement made reforestation an important part of the fight against climate change. The agreement incentivizes developing countries to reduce deforestation and forest degradation, promote forest conservation and sustainable management, and enhance forest carbon stocks in developing countries.

"We hope our study is a jumping off point for other researchers and industries to take a look at how they might make their production more efficient by creating links to the global restoration movement," Dr. Cole said.


This article originally appeared on 03.29.21

Trader Joe's Key lime pie.

A wholesome story from New Jersey shows what can happen when employees and shoppers drop their roles and act like people. It all started when Jeff Greene of Wayne, New Jersey, was checking out the deserts at his local Trader Joe’s with his family on July 6.

During his search, he asked an employee named Tara if the Key lime pie was any good. “Tara, who was putting out other desserts said it was her favorite dessert in Trader Joe’s, and I said, ‘Well, I make a pretty good one, too. But let’s try this one,’” he said in a viral TikTok video.

Jeff took Tara’s advice and put the pie in his shopping cart. But when he went to check out, Tara intervened. "She handed me a box of key lime pie with a receipt taped to the top," he told People. "She had bought me a key lime pie herself and took the one I was about to purchase out of my cart. It was such a lovely and unexpected gesture."

A week later, Jeff decided to repay the kind gesture. “My wife and I were kind of just hanging out, and I said, ‘You know what? Let’s make the pie,’” Jeff told Today.com.

@sophiegreene__

Some wholesome sunday content & pie. We love @Trader Joe's @trader joes & Tara !! #wholesomemoments #traderjoesmusthaves #dadsbelike #parentsbelike

In the video, Jeff’s son filmed him driving to Trader Joe’s to give his homemade pie to Tara. “Was such a nice surprise, it was so unexpected, so I decided that I was going to make my homemade Key lime pie and bring it to Tara and that’s what we’re doing,” Jeff said in the video. “If a stranger brought me a pie, not sure if I’d eat it, but here’s hoping Tara at least appreciates the gesture.”

When Jeff returned to Trader Joe's with the pie, Tara was shocked. “Oh my God!” she said with a huge smile. “This made my day, you don’t even know.”

“Can I give you all a hug? You don’t know how much this made my day,” Tara said, while welling up with happy tears. “This was so nice of you to do.” Before he left the store, Jeff made sure she kept the pie frozen.



The heartfelt exchange struck a nerve with people on TikTok. "So special and to know people still care about people," Tiffany wrote in the comments. "Tara is a gift to the world; you are a gift to this world, and I’m willing to bet that pie is also a gift to this world!" Jordan added.

Jeff thought giving Tara the pie was a great thing to do in a world with so much negative news. "I thought it could potentially be a really positive thing to do," Jeff told Today. "Especially given everything going on in the world, a small act of kindness and humanity goes a long way."

The funny thing is that the Greene family has yet to taste the original Key lime pie Tara gave them at Trader Joe’s. “We can’t really go back to Trader Joe’s until we’ve actually tried the pie that she bought us,” Jeff joked.

Family

Naming twins is an art. Here are some twin names people say are the best they've ever heard.

With twins, all the regular pressures of having a baby are doubled, including choosing a name.

Are you in favor of rhyming twin names? Or is it too cutesy?

Having twins means double the fun, and double the pressure. It’s a fairly known rule to name twins in a way that honors their unique bond, but that can lead to overly cutesy pairings that feel more appropriate for nursery rhyme characters than actual people. Plus, it’s equally important for the names to acknowledge each twin’s individuality. Again, these are people—not a matching set of dolls. Finding the twin baby name balance is easier said than done, for sure.

Luckily, there are several ways to do this. Names can be linked by style, sound or meaning, according to the baby name website Nameberry. For example, two names that share a classic style would be Elizabeth and Edward, whereas Ione and Lionel share a similar rhythm. And Frederica and Milo seem to share nothing in common, but both mean “peaceful.”

Over on the /NameNerds subreddit, one person asked folks to share their favorite twin name pairings, and the answers did not disappoint.


One person wrote “Honestly, for me it’s hard to beat the Rugrats combo of Phillip and Lillian (Phil and Lil) 💕”

A few parents who gave their twin’s names that didn’t inherently rhyme until nicknames got involved:

"It's the perfect way! Christmas cards can be signed cutely with matching names, but when they act out you can still use their full name without getting tripped up.😂"

"The parents of a good friend of mine did this: her name is Allison and her sister is Callie. Their names don’t match on the surface, but they were Alli and Callie at home."

“Alice and Celia, because they’re anagrams! Sound super different but have a not-so-obvious implicit connection.”

This incited an avalanche of other anagram ideas: Aidan and Nadia, Lucas and Claus, Liam and Mila, Noel and Leon, Ira and Ria, Amy and May, Ira and Ari, Cole and Cleo…even Alice, Celia, and Lacie for triplets.

Others remembered name pairs that managed to sound lovely together without going into cutesy territory.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesThese matching bunny ears though. Photo credit: Canva

“I know twin toddler boys named Charlie and Archie and they go so well together,” one person commented.

Another wrote, “Tamia and Aziza. I love how they follow the same sound pattern with the syllable endings (-uh, -ee, -uh) without being obnoxiously matchy matchy.”

Still another said, “Lucy and Logan, fraternal girl/boy twins. I think the names sound so nice together, and definitely have the same 'vibe' and even though they have the same first letter they aren't too matchy-matchy.”

Other honorable mentions included: Colton and Calista, Caitlin and Carson, Amaya and Ameera, Alora and Luella, River and Rosie, and Eleanor and Elias.

One person cast a vote for shared style names, saying, “If I had twins, I would honestly just pick two different names that I like separately. I tend to like classic names, so I’d probably pick Daniel and Benjamin for boys. For girls my two favorites right now are Valerie and Tessa. I think Val and Tess would be cute together!”

Overall though, it seems that most folks were fans of names that focused on shared meaning over shared sound. Even better if there’s a literary or movie reference thrown in there.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesMany adult twins regret that their names are so closely linked together. Photo credit: Canva

“My mom works in insurance, so I asked her. She’s seen a lot of unique ones, but the only twins she remembers are Gwenivere [sic] and Lancelot... bonus points... little brother was Merlin,” one person recalled.

Another shared, “If I had twin girls, I would name them Ada and Hedy for Ada Lovelace and Hedy Lamarr, both very early computer/tech pioneers. Not that I’m that into tech, I just thought it was a brilliant combination.”

Other great ones: Susan and Sharon (think the original “Parent Trap”), Clementine and Cara (types of oranges), Esme and Etienne (French descent), Luna and Stella (moon and stars), Dawn and Eve, plus various plant pairings like Lily and Fern, Heather and Holly, and Juniper and Laurel.

Perhaps the cleverest name pairing goes to “Aubrey and Zoe,” since…wait for it… “they’re A to Z.”

It’s easy to see how naming twins really is a cool opportunity for parents to get creative and intentional with their baby naming. It might be a challenge, sure, but the potential reward is having the most iconic set of twins ever. Totally worth it!

Pop Culture

Keanu Reeves gets emotional while sharing how much 'The Matrix' means to him

Reeves shared his favorite memories of each of his biggest films. When he got to 'The Matrix,' there was a noticeable change.

Raph_PH/Wikipedia, Photo by Shannon Kunkle on Unsplash

“’The Matrix’ changed my life."

Keanu Reeves might have broken into the industry through “Bill and Ted,” and was an established '90s action actor thanks to films like “Speed” and “Point Break.” But his iconic role as Neo in “The Matrix” truly catapulted him into stardom.

For many, “The Matrix” was both a thrilling cinematic escape and a powerful spiritual experience—exploring what it means to be human in the digital age, all while kicking ass in cool leather trench coats. And Reeves was the hero that took us on that journey.

Of course, he would go on to be the center of another legendary franchise with “John Wick” and would become a legend off-camera as a genuinely compassionate and generous person. But to think—we might have not had any of it had Reeves never taken that red pill.

It turns out that not even Reeves himself takes that moment in his life for granted.


During a recent interview with Stephen Colbert on “The Late Show,” the host mentioned several of Reeves’ movies that were celebrating an anniversary this year — “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” 35; “Point Break,” 33; “Speed,” 30; “The Matrix,” 25; and “John Wick,” 10.

Colbert then asked Reeves to name a fond memory from each of these iconic movies in a lightning-round style. Reeves was able to get out simple answers like “friendship” for “Bill and Ted” and “the genius of Catherine Bigelow” for “Point Break,” but when he got to “The Matrix,” there was a palpable, emotional pause.

After about twenty seconds, Reeves replied, “’The Matrix’ changed my life. And then, over these years, it’s changed so many other people’s lives in really positive and great ways.”

Gathering himself, he concluded, “As an artist, you hope for that when you get to do a film or tell a story…it’s the best.”

It was so well said that Colbert didn’t bother trying to get a memory for “John Wick” but instead shook his hand and ended the segment.

Watch:

"The Matrix" Changed My Life - Keanu Reeves Shares Fond Memories Of His Most Iconic Filmswww.youtube.com

Down in the comments, people were once again moved by Reeves’ heartfelt authenticity.

“Keanu's response to the Matrix question was so profound.”

“That really got me. So moving. As for the movie itself, to this day, The Matrix is still the most mind-blowing experience I've ever had in a theatre!”

“The answer, his face, his body language, how he changed his emotion so fast just gave me chills and I cried. He knows the truth.”

“What a real dude. There's a reason everyone loves him.”

“Do we all simply want to burst into tears when he emotionally recounts how The Matrix has touched people?”

“To this day, The Matrix remains my favorite movie of all time. Full stop. It's amazing to see him get so emotional when he talks about it.”

“He almost made me cry, that was a raw emotional sincere comment he made - just beautiful.”

“The Academy Awards will honor Keanu Reeves one day with a lifetime achievement award. No doubt. The Matrix is the best sci-fi movie ever made and Keanu was brilliant in the role. A beautiful human being. I always support his work. I wish him the best this world offers.”

By the way, if all this Matrix nostalgia has got you wishing you could see it on the big screen again, you’re in luck! AMC will be presenting a special anniversary screening of it in September.

Entrepreneur Richard Branson.

To paraphrase a popular adage about a tree falling in the woods: If you have a meeting and nobody takes notes of what was said, did the meeting ever really occur in the first place?

That’s the core question at the center of one of billionaire entrepreneur, Virgin Group founder, adventurer and philanthropist Richard Branson’s most important habits. He takes pen-and-paper notes during every meeting.

"I love learning," Branson explained on the “Worklife” podcast with Adam Grant. "I can never understand how people can have a meeting with somebody and not take notes. If you're having a meeting with a group of people where you're planning to sort out issues and not take notes, you're only going to remember two or three things from that meeting. And quite often from a meeting, you might have a list of 20 ideas that come out of it."


He’s got a great point. If people only leave the meeting remembering a handful of ideas, then some great suggestions that should be followed up on magically disappear. The good ideas that deserved reconsidering have been blown away into the ether, never to be considered again.

Branson believes that following up on ideas presented at meetings can take a company up another level.

"It's important to follow up on and it's very important to get back to the person who came up with those ideas and either respond positively or say why you disagree. By dealing with all those small things quickly, you go from potentially becoming an average company into becoming an exceptional company, and the staff who work there are really appreciative that their issues have been dealt with," Branson concludes.

The entrepreneur blames the lack of note-taking squarely on men. He adds that leaving all the note-taking to women does a real disservice to men.



“In my experience, 99 percent of people in leadership roles don’t take notes. What’s more, males are less likely to take notes than their female counterparts,” Branson writes on LInkedIn. “Not only is this unfair to women, but it’s also disadvantageous to men. It’s time for men to step up and do their share of support work. On top of counteracting gender bias in the work force, it will also give men a better understanding of what going on within the business and what needs to be done to make things run more effectively.”

Running meetings without taking notes also makes it harder for meaningful work actually to get done. “This often happens with, for instance, politicians. We will have a meeting, talk about dozens of ideas to improve things, and they won’t write anything down. They might remember one of the ideas, but what about all of the others? They will have to muddle through and little will get done,” he wrote on Virgin’s blog.

Ultimately, it’s essential for people to take notes because great ideas can be lost forever without them. “No matter how big, small, simple or complex an idea is, get it in writing,” Branson wrote. “But don’t just take notes for the sake of taking notes, go through your ideas and turn them into actionable and measurable goals. If you don’t write your ideas down, they could leave your head before you even leave the room.”