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Capital One Impact Initiative

A grandmother wanted to give her grandchildren the life they deserved. This building has made it possible.

A grandmother wanted to give her grandchildren the life they deserved. This building has made it possible.
Courtesy of Capital One
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Capital One

It was around Christmas 2018 and Jean Simpkins, 79, was looking out the window of her new three-bedroom apartment. Eleven floors above Washington, D.C., the grandmother of two gazed out at the lights of the city and became overwhelmed with gratitude. "The only thing I could say," Simpkins remembers, "was 'Thank you, Father.'"

Almost a year later, Simpkins still can't help but look at the apartment as a miracle — one she desperately needed. Fifteen years ago, when her grandson was born, she became his primary caregiver. Six years later, when her granddaughter was four, Simpkins was awarded full custody of her, too. She's spent the time since trying to give her grandchildren the life she knows they deserve, which has been difficult on a fixed income. On top of that, Simpkins worried that the neighborhood the family resided in wasn't the best influence on her kids. Something had to change.

Then she learned about Plaza West, a new development created by Mission First housing that would reserve 50 of its apartments specifically for families in which a grandparent or other older adult was raising children who were related to them. The waiting list, Simpkins says, was daunting. There are a great deal of grandfamilies in the D.C. area and she was sure it might be years before she got the call. But soon after applying, she was offered a choice between a two-bedroom and a three-bedroom apartment. She accepted the latter, sight unseen. She knew that each of her grandchildren needed space of their own.


Simpkins' apartment is spacious, and the twinkling lights she sees on the horizon every night are a bonus. But the real reward of living at Plaza West is the community that the grandfamilies — 49 grandmothers, three married couples, and one "very popular" single grandpa — have created for their children (and themselves). It's an intergenerational center, one where youth and seniors come together to learn from each other and give and receive wisdom.

At Plaza West, grandparents aren't just responsible for their own grandchildren. They become surrogate grandparents to every one of the kids living in the building. One grandmother, Simpkins says, takes all the children to basketball games. Other grandparents share the task of taking children to school and making sure they're back home safely.

Each month, grandparents gather together for "fireside chats," community meetings where they discuss their goals for the community as well as ask for support and air grievances in an encouraging environment. In the halls and common areas, grandparents hold all grandchildren accountable for their behavior — quickly addressing any symptoms of trouble and always imparting the importance of kindness and respect.

"We're all a family here," Simpkins says, both proud and grateful of the help she gives and receives from the people around her. "It really does take a village."

Grandfamilies, Simpkins adds, need to be a priority when it comes to housing — and Capital One agrees. That's why the bank, which has a long history of giving back to the community, worked so hard to help make Plaza West a reality for the grandparents, grand aunts, grand uncles, and children who need it.

"It's very difficult for grandparents who are raising their grandchildren on their own to find decent housing," says Ed Delany, a Capital Officer for the Mid-Atlantic region at Capital One who arranged the financing the bank provided. "There's a huge need, both nationally and in the District, for this type of housing." But that housing is rarely affordable. And when it is, Delany says, it's often sub-standard. Capital One wanted to ensure that grandfamilies in D.C. not only had a place to call home, but a place they'd be proud to live.

In order to achieve this, Capital One provided a $7.5 million construction loan and purchased more than $35 million in Low Income Housing Tax Credits to help Mission First make miracles happen for Simpkins, her family, and the other residents of Plaza West. In addition, Capital One left a $200,000 social purpose grant in place. That money is helping provide on-site support for the residents.

Capital One is proud to continue partnering with faith-based developers like Mission First because they help provide housing for those who need it most. They also allow people who've lived their whole lives in suddenly-popular neighborhoods to avoid getting priced out. Developments like Plaza West, Delany says, have had a major impact on quality of life as well as future prospects for the residents of the neighborhoods they serve.

Nothing could be more true for Simpkins and her grandchildren. Though they weren't happy with the move at first — it meant they'd have to leave some old friends behind — now that they've had time to adjust, they're flourishing. Since moving to Plaza West, both grandchildren have made the honor roll. And with more and more activities being added for older kids, including visits by mentors and programs created by Howard University, it's becoming easier to keep them involved closer to home. The neighborhood, Simpkins adds, has only become more safe and beautiful with the addition of Plaza West.

The greatest reward for her family, however, is the social support that living with other grandfamilies provides. The similar experiences they share helps provide both connection and comfort. Parenting is one of the world's hardest jobs, even with a strong support system. It can often make guardians feel isolated and lonely. That goes double for families that would be considered "non-traditional." But at Plaza West, Simpkins says, no one feels alone.

To learn more about Capital One's Community efforts, go to https://www.capitalone.com/about/.

via James Breakwell / Twitter

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way. Comedy writer James Breakwell has four daughters under the age of eight and shares their hilarious conversations on Twitter. And, from Breakwell's tweets, it looks like his five year old has a future in comedy. Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.


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His 5-year-old isn't the only (often unintentionally) hilarious child in the house; the 7-year-old and 3-year-old turn up from time to time. There's also a 2-year-old, but she hasn't been the subject of many tweets yet.


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This article originally appeared four years ago.

Joy

Proud owners of this dog breed quickly call out a trainer who dubbed it a 'terrible choice'

The trainer thought these dogs were "frenzied lunatics." Others heartily disagreed.

Are Springer Spaniels really "frenzied lunatics?"

Will Atherton, an England based Clinical Canine Behaviourist (MSc), recently dubbed the Springer Spaniel a “terrible choice” of dog breed for most people. In a video posted to his TikTok, Atherton explained that while many people get them because they “look awesome” and “match a barber jacket which makes it cool for Instagram pictures,” they aren’t taking into account what Springer Spaniel were bred for—hunting.

These dogs, Atherton notes, are bred to “work non-stop like frenzied lunatics,” rather than sit on the “sofa and chill.” Since the latter is so “rarely achievable” with Springer Spaniels (since they “don’t have an off-switch”) Atherton sees so many of them being sent to his center for “problem behaviors.”

However, an overwhelming amount of Springer Spaniel owners were quick to disagree.


@iamwillatherton Let’s talk about the honest truth behind Spaniels shall we... p.s. before you comment I know there are some that are chill but they’re the outliers and congratulations you got lucky! And remember, I’m honest about these things because I want people to be happy with their dogs and I see SO many that aren’t with their Spaniel because their Spaniel was a terrible choice for them because they can’t train it well. #springerspaniel #springer #spaniel #englishspringerspaniel #cockerspaniel #dogtraining #dogtrainer #dogtrainingtips #dogtrainingadvice #dogbreeds ♬ original sound - Will Atherton (MSc)


“My springer is probably the laziest dog I’ve ever seen.”

“My springer just sleeps most of the time.”

“Mine is either running around like a lunatic or sleeping and chilling, just two extremes it’s great.”

“My springer must be a bit dodgy because you’ll never meet a dog who wants nothing more than [to] cuddle. Yes when he’s out he’s a lunatic but as soon as he’s home all he wants is sleep and hugs, love them.”

“I must be lucky my Springer [is] both brilliant outside and chilled outside.”

“We had a Springer Spaniel when I was growing up. Yes he was very active but he was also very friendly and good around kids. I loved that dog.”

Photo credit: Canva

While the American Kennel Club does echo Atherton’s sentiment that Springer Spaniels are built for “long days in the field,” the site notes that they are also “highly trainable people-pleasers,” in addition to being highly affectionate, good with both children and other dogs. The AKC also recommends adding enrichment activities that require not only physical exercise, but mental exercise as well. Otherwise they’ll find their own projects, “and they probably won't be the kind of projects you'd like.”

And while everyone might not agree with Atherton’s point of view, it does provide a great reminder of the importance of researching dog breeds before you buy one. Studies have shown that certain behaviors are indeed passed down through lineages (this goes double for purebreds). And those natural behaviors might not align with a person’s lifestyle, making a satisfying situation for both dog and human.

Still, other research indicates that environment plays a much bigger role in a dog’s personality. So providing things like training and/or socialization from an early age can help things mesh better.

Bottom line: Dogs are individuals, with their own personalities. Not carbon copies. However, in order to give them the best possible life (which is what every dog owner wants to do, right?), one should probably know about a dog’s breed before purchasing.

media0.giphy.com

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."



The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

Parenting

How often should you bathe your kids? Experts say when they're visibly dirty.

This parenting debate probably goes back generations but we have the answer.

Bathing kids only when they're visibly dirty is expert advice

When it comes to bathing children there doesn't seem to be a universal consensus among parents, who are generally the ones doing the bathing. Some people feel strongly that children starting from infancy should be bathed daily while others are fine with a couple of baths a month. There are even some parents that skip baths for their kids for the entire summer because they rely on swimming pools and other water play to do the job.

Some grandmother somewhere just audibly gasped at the thought of swimming in a pool counting as bathing. But in reality, people really just try to do what they think is best for their kids or what makes the most sense to them, though some parents may need to put down the soap. Specifically the parents who are bathing little ones daily or multiple times a day, because experts say that's entirely too much for young humans.

A couple of years ago a few famous celebrity couples made headlines for openly admitting that they don't bathe their children often. In fact, Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher extended that revelation to include that they don't bathe themselves often either. The couple waits until they visibly see dirt, while their pals Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell admit to only washing their kids if the catch a whiff of something funky.

How Did I Get Here Baby GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy

In an episode of the "Him & Her Show," Veronica Max, a holistic Nurse Practitioner shares that she does not dictate her kids' bath schedule. She explains to the hosts that her four children might bathe once a week, admitting that in the summer it's even less.

"If it's once a week? You know, like now they sw...so they swim. We have a pool and they swim in the summer so I guess we call that bathing so it's probably even less than that," Max admits.


@thehimandhershow Is it crazy to only bathe your child once a WEEK?! 🛁 🤔 (Ep with Veronica Max 🤍) #childcare #momlife #motherhoodunfiltered #parenting #delayedbathing ♬ original sound - HIM & HER Show - thehimandhershow

Another mom shares that once her children starts going out side of the home to be around other children like at daycare or school, that's when they need to bathe every day. Bathing daily is one of her house rules and her explanation may make sense to others that have similar concerns.

"I just can't imaging them running around recess, sitting on the floor at school, rubbing each other with their classmates, sitting on the bus...the school bus, with their jeans and they just come right home and just lounge on their bed and go to bed overnight, wake up the next morning and come down and eat breakfast with me. I just cannot imagine that would happen, ever.


Every parent is different but according to Harvard Health kids only need to bathe once to three times a week. Any more than that and it can cause skin issues, "Lots of bathing can lead to dry, irritated skin. But also, the skin has natural protective oils, and natural bacteria, that help to keep us healthy and safe — and that can get washed away with daily bathing."

There are exceptions such as visible dirt, the use of bug sprays, sun screen or being in a pool with chlorine. Otherwise, they say it's perfectly fine to only bathe children infrequently during the week, though they point out that this doesn't go for teens and the gnarly smells they can emit.

Season 3 Smell GIF by Nanalan'Giphy

While dermatologist, Joan Tamburro, DO, tells the Cleveland Clinic children under the age of six should spend time in the bath tub two to three times per week max, but 2-3 times a week at a minimum for children 6-11 year old. But Dr. Tamburro advises against using pool days as bath days saying, "It’s important to bathe or shower after swimming in a pool, lake or ocean."

So there you have it, parents. Kids under the age of 13 don't need to bathe daily but they may need to wash more than once a week if they're sweaty, visibly dirty or covered with chemicals from chlorine, sunscreen or bug spray. Harvard also says using wet wipes between baths on the important bits and visibly soiled areas also work in between bath days.

Turns out the parents who were against daily bathing were closer to the opinion of experts than not.

Science

Scientists at Hebrew University may have found a way to predict earthquakes

Researchers discover the slow, silent process that ignites earthquakes

Scientists are getting a better understanding on how and when earthquakes occur.

One of the biggest challenges regarding earthquakes is preparation. Aside from recognizing where faultlines lay and determining which areas are the most prone to earthquakes and earthquake damage, there is very little we can do to prepare for the next “big one.” Earthquakes can occur at any time and happen with little to no warning, at least not enough warning for people to seek safety before they hit. Scientists at Hebrew University in Israel may have found a way for us to predict earthquakes in the future.

Through a study done in Israel, Prof. Jay Fineberg and his team of researchers at the Racah Institute of Physics at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem possibly found the causes that lead up to shaking tremors. Through experiments and theoretical models, they theorize that a fault’s geometry along with slow and steady displacement at certain stress points in the Earth’s crust typically precede a seismic rupture that leads to earthquakes.

Richter scaleThis new study could lead into better preparation for earthquakes.Photo credit: Canva

Tremors occur when cracks in the Earth’s crust suddenly give way, and previous studies have shown that slow movements do precede the formation of these cracks. Yet until now, the data of these processes has been relying on two-dimensional generalizations rather than practical or theoretical three-dimensional studies. Fineberg’s team looked into how slow, aseismic stress came into play within earthquake activity, how that stress evolves and nucleates into a budding and sudden tremor.

“Our findings challenge and refine conventional models of rupture dynamics," said Fineberg in a press release. "We show that slow, aseismic processes are a prerequisite for seismic rupture, driven by localized stress and geometric constraints. This has profound implications for understanding when and how earthquakes begin.”

A torn down house and rubble from an earthquakeBeing able to predict an earthquake could help prevent further injuries.Photo credit: Canva

Further testing needs to be made in order to further confirm Fineberg and his team’s conclusions, however this leads to a greater understanding into how earthquakes happen and identify new focal points. Should these solid theories become reality, it could lead to better warnings of earthquakes before they start, leading to better systems to inform the public so they can better prepare before the tremor fully hits.

Meanwhile, if you live near or in an area prone to earthquakes, it’s best to be prepared for the worst. According to experts at the U.S. Geological Survey, if you are caught in the middle of an earthquake, take cover under a heavy desk or table, away from any windows or top-heavy furniture. Stay in place, as most people injured inside a building during an earthquake are those trying to move to a different building or leave their current position. Ready.gov recommends packing an earthquake kit with clothes, water, medication, a first aid kit, a hand-crank flashlight, batteries, cell phone charger, and other such items at the ready in your home or car case you need to leave. There are also apps like MyShake that could give you alerts and other information about earthquakes around your area through your mobile phone, too.

A man and a woman taking shelter under a wooden tableIf you're experiencing an earthquake, hide under a table away from any windows.Photo credit: Canva

It takes time and study to learn how the world around us works, which can take years if not lifetimes before we fully understand it. Even when we get better understanding, it might only provide more prep time for emergencies. Regardless of how much more understanding we obtain about earthquakes, there will always be the need to prepare and to be ready, for ourselves and for our neighbors.