Becoming an MMA fighter is tough, but not as tough as this 40-year-old single mom.
Melissa Infurna was slowly losing the desire to fight for her happiness.
She said she experienced some rocky moments in her marriage and in other areas of her personal life.
"I did what many people do who are in my shoes: try to hold it together for the kids. But it wasn't working. My kids, especially my daughter, saw and heard too much. I knew it couldn't continue."
Her divorce was finalized in 2015. But even before then, Melissa's world was spinning out of control. Her self-esteem and confidence were shattered, and she had to grab the reins to be the mom her kids needed.
"I was a complete mess back then," Melissa told me. "I needed to change physically, mentally, and emotionally — and I took action."
Melissa's quest for happiness started as a simple way to get some exercise. Later, it became something else entirely.
A few years ago, Melissa started taking a Brazilian jiu-jitsu classes a few times a month as a way to improve her fitness, clear her head, and vent her frustrations. After a while, she was going five to six times a week.
On occasion, she would peek into the mixed martial arts (MMA) class in the adjacent room. She had a nagging desire to participate but didn't have the nerve to go in.
Real talk — it can be pretty intimidating to be a woman alone in a room with a group of dudes who are trained fighters and ask to work out with them. But one man in the room approached her to say that one day a woman will be standing at the door and will have the courage to go in because Melissa had the courage to do it first.
"After that, there was no turning back," she said.
So she put in the work to learn the craft.
A lot of work. Almost three years of training for up to three hours a day, in fact. Wrestling, grappling, takedowns, striking, submissions — all the types of moves you'd see in a grueling MMA match on television.
Melissa trained hard. Photo courtesy of Joe Harrington via Mass-MMA.com.
Keep in mind, Melissa is in the strawweight division, where fighters typically weigh in between 106 and 115 pounds. But it's not about the size of the dog in the fight, as the saying goes. It's about the size of the fight in the dog.
"I want to inspire other women to do whatever they want to do in life," she told me. "I wasn't about to quit. Some days, I literally would train until I threw up because I didn't want to stop before the guys did. Giving up was never an option."
Melissa (purple shin guard) had amazing training partners to keep her motivated.
Melissa enjoyed it so much that she decided to take it to the next level: a public fight against an opponent almost half her age.
Her name is Hilarie Rose, a 23-year-old experienced MMA fighter. A woman who knocked out another woman with a single kick in a recent bout.
Melissa (left) and Hilarie squaring off for a promo photo prior to the fight.
"Hilarie is young enough to be my daughter; she's a fierce striker, and she's bigger than me," Melissa said. "But I was ready for the fight."
Haven't we seen this movie before?
The bigger, stronger, younger fighter versus the scrappy, older underdog. It was like "Rocky IV" all over again. All we needed was Hilarie to channel her inner Dolph Lundgren while "Eye of the Tiger" played in the background.
GIF from "Rocky IV."
Fight night was here. The Plymouth Memorial Hall was filled to its capacity of 1,500 fight fans, and Melissa was ready to rise to the occasion and steal the show as Rocky Balboa did on the silver screen.
Melissa was focused moments before her debut fight.
But there was a problem: This isn't the movies.
"The fight started with me taking a kick to the leg before Hilarie came in with a hard cross that broke my face in three places," Melissa recalled. "In an instant, all I could taste was the blood pouring from my nose, but thanks to adrenaline, I wasn’t going to quit. I pushed through for just under two minutes, managing to get her on the cage and getting in some shots before losing by TKO" (technical knockout).
Props given to the woman who refused to quit.
After the fight, Melissa and Hilarie shared an emotional hug — not just because they're good sports, but because they both knew how much dedication and courage it takes for anyone to step into the octagon.
Even with a broken nose and her orbital bone broken in two places, Melissa (right) hugged her opponent. Photo courtesy of Joe Harrington via Mass-MMA.com.
Even her kids had to respect their mom for what she did — shattered face and all.
Five days after the fight, and with the shiner to end all shiners, Melissa was still smiling.
"Naturally, my kids don’t like seeing me with broken bones in my face, but it’s been important for them to see the dedication and hard work that goes into something that most people would say is impossible," Melissa told me. "It was critical for me to show them they can do whatever they want, but it’s not always going to be easy."
Melissa would be the first to tell you that a broken spirit is way more painful than broken bones.
Her advice to women who need a boost is to remember how strong they are. "Find something that makes you feel powerful and happy," she said. "It could be writing a book, starting a business, becoming an MMA fighter, or whatever. Just make sure that it's something that is uniquely yours. That way, no one can take it away from you."
So, will Melissa fight again?
"It hurts a lot to get punched in the face, but if the right opponent came up, I'd take another fight," she told me. "In reality, I'm always fighting, but this time it's for my happiness."
And that's a fight she doesn't intend to lose.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."